Our most featured Naruto

A/N: Thank you all who have expressed your concern. I’m so darn touched…all the things you people have said is a lot more effective than any form of medication. Sigh…if only “real” people love me as much as you do. Oh well…

Thanks Veta and others for the offer, but I’ve decided that I’ll get a beta when someone says I REALLY need one. You have no idea how much it flatters me that you actually placed my fic on the same league as Chasing Naruto, even though I doubt that’s possible, but thanks so much.

Disclaimer: Sigh…do I really need to bother? It’s not like I’m getting money for this…


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Chapter Seven: Cowardice

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A certain flustered blond paced around his bedroom, opening drawers and repeatedly checking the clock on his wall. Tsunade perched royally on his bed, watching the scene with mild interest while sipping a can of Dr. Pepper. “Any more spikes brat and Sonic the Hedgehog might come to molest you.”

“What?” Naruto turned from facing his mirror, green goop dripping from his overly petrified locks.

Tsunade sighed deeply and smiled. “My gaki has finally grown up. I can practically smell the testosterone.” Sip.

“Hm.” And with that Naruto turned back to his reflection and resumed shifting his do once again.

Tsunade rolled on her belly, legs waving in the air with a dreamy expression on her face. “So, who’s the date? Is he hot?”

“That is none of your busi…Hey! How did you know he-”

“Just call it woman’s intuition gaki.” She grinned brightly, hazel eyes glowing in mirth, looking like a giddy sixteen-year old.

Naruto narrowed his blue orbs in suspicion. Obviously Tsunade knew something, but who could have told her? He was sure no one knew. “You better not have any funny ideas baachan, or else I’ll mail you back to Vegas!” He forcefully pulled on the comb, which had cemented itself into his spikes.

Tsunade snorted in amusement. “That hot eh? He has to be if our little Naru-chan is being possessive.”

“I’m not being poss-” He winced in pain when the comb came off, along with strands of blond hair. “…sessive…” he squeaked. That was the last time he mixed gel, mousse, glue, and rubber cement together, though his hair was just that rebellious.

Tsunade rolled her eyes and stole the comb from Naruto’s hand.

“What are you doing?” Naruto asked, slightly startled when he was forced to face Tsunade’s bosoms, he hated being short.

“Helping.” She started raking at Naruto’s vicious mop, putting it into shape. “You know gaki, you didn’t have to try so hard to look impressive. Look at the mess you made!”

The little blond pouted, he wasn’t used to being babied and he hated being reprimanded. But he knew that fighting Tsunade was a wasteful endeavor. “I don’t know…I couldn’t help it! I feel so anxious and it’s like I can’t wait for something and -”

“It’s normal gaki.” The older blond interrupted. “This is what happens on a first date.”

Naruto smirked under Tsunade’s ministration. “Okay then. Tell me how you felt on your first date?”

He could feel the older woman frown as she momentarily ceased her actions. “I’d rather not go there gaki.”

“Why? Can’t remember that far back?” He knew he was digging himself an early grave.

“Hm. No. I promised Adam I wouldn’t talk about our little adventures under the apple tree.”

Naruto was surprised for the most part. “You’re actually humoring me baachan?”

She went on to style blond hair with both her fingers and comb. “Don’t get used to it brat. I just happen to be very sober right now.”

Naruto stayed silent and allowed himself to drift into his own thoughts. “Baachan…can I ask you something?”

“Be my guest.”

“Why did you never have kids?”

The question had knocked the woman into her own silence. It made Naruto nervous.

“I mean…I know we’re not related and I never actually heard of your family and stuff…so…um…”

Tsunade stopped what she was doing, closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. “When you’ve had and lost as much as I have Naruto…there’s going to come a time when you have to throw in the towel. Life has a way of repeating itself, and it’s much easier to live as if you’ve got nothing to lose. I know…it sounds like cowardice…and maybe it is. But that just goes to show…that I’m just not strong enough…”

Naruto peered into Tsunade’s eyes and witnessed a depth he had never seen there before. It was similar to his own. “That sounds so lonely baachan.”

The older woman closed in on Naruto and embraced him tightly; acting like the mother she never had the chance to be. “You’ve lost much in your life too.” It wasn’t a question.

Naruto returned the embrace, relishing the moment that would never come again. “I know I feel loss…but…I just can’t remember what exactly. And…that’s what hurts the most I guess.”

Tsunade smoothed out the shorter blonde’s hair comfortingly. “Don’t worry gaki. They’ll come back to you, memories always do.”

In that moment he had come to understood the woman in his arms more than he had in years. She had never stayed in one place or with him for any amount of time because it made her remember. He had come to realize that she knew what it meant to be lonely, but he couldn’t for the life of him understand why she would evade every chance to be happy. Though he was a hypocrite for thinking that, for there was one loss in his life that he had side-stepped at every opportunity. Betrayal was a painful thing, and he’d rather die than face it again.

Tsunade let the boy go and laid on the finishing touches as if nothing had happened. She admired her work, and more importantly, the man before her. She had gotten rid of the spikes and gave him a more wet and sleek appearance, the bangs over his eyes making him look sexy like she couldn’t believe. If Naruto wasn’t “half” her age, she would have ravaged the boy where he stood. “There. You are definitely date worthy now gaki.” ‘Fuckable too’, she wanted to add.

Naruto tentatively turned to the mirror, but was impressed with the results. “Heh. I always knew you were good for something baachan.” ‘Thanks’, he didn’t feel all that necessary to add.

Ding dong…

Naruto jumped at the doorbell. “Oh shit! It’s Gaara!” Naruto checked himself out one more time and without prior hesitation, he darted to the door. He sighed and smoothed out the nonexistent creases on his shirt and pants. With nervous fingers, he gripped the doorknob tightly, and gave it a turn.

“Hey Gaara! Sorry if I’m…OH FUCKING GOD!” Naruto was so alarmed by the sight before him that he backed up and tripped on a paperclip, waving his arms frantically as his back collided with the hardwood floor.

Gaara could only witness the scene with interest as he stood in the doorway. His eyes widened somewhat at his date’s strange behavior.

“Hey gaki, what are you doing on the…HOLY SHIT! Am I drunk already?” She asked herself as she incredulously scrutinized the soda can in her hand.

Gaara had a terrible time figuring out what was going on. Did he have something on his face? He scowled when the big-breasted bimbo entered the room. ‘He must be Naruto’s lover aunt!’ the red-head thought with disdain. He noticed the can of Dr. Pepper in the bitch’s hand and his face grew darker, replaying the strange outburst he heard over the phone when he called Naruto. ‘So Naruto was fucking her eh?’ If she had balls Gaara would have so kicked them by then.

Naruto felt his consciousness return to him, canaries flooded his vision as he rubbed the back of his head with a groan. He had the strangest day dream with a well-dressed clown waiting at his door; it nearly gave him a heart attack. He felt a coronary coming however when he sat up and acknowledged that their truly was a well-dressed clown thing by his doorway. The thing had the sharpest red hair, so sharp that it could open a can of corn. His/her face was as white as tissue paper, which clashed horribly with its crimson shark fin. Speaking of crimson, the lips were blood red, like he/she kissed a bleeding heart. The blush was atrociously out of place, for some reason it made him think of Godzilla wearing braces. He moved on the black rims around the eyes, which he found familiar, which brought him to the eyes themselves, a pretty shade of blue-green that was like a small patch of flowers amidst the landfill that was the stranger’s face. Realization hit him when he looked into those eyes. He knew those eyes! “Gaara?”

The hideous red-head did not hear him for he had briskly left the apartment before he even entered.

The lopsided kitsune stood himself on shaky legs. “Gaara? Where you going?” He pushed passed Tsunade who was still reading the back of her favorite soda and scampered out the door and into the cold autumn night. “Gaara?! What the fuck are you doing?! I thought we were going on a date!”

Gaara stopped under a streetlamp in front of Naruto’s apartment building, and scared a couple of cats along the way.

Naruto could feel an ulcer acting up upon seeing Gaara under light, but he saved the obvious question for later. “Why did you run off?”

Gaara frowned, which looked absolutely horrifying with the powder and lipstick. Naruto subconsciously rubbed a spot on his neck. “You’ve been fucking that bitch in you’re apartment have you?” straight to the point.

The whiskered blond could feel his bowels acting up from looking at the clown-faced Gaara for so long; he held back a nervous fart with effort. “Are you kidding me?! I told you she’s my aunt you moron!”

The taller of the two narrowed his rims. “That didn’t stop my father.” Gaara walked away again.

Naruto stayed where he was, dumbfounded. “His father…and…EWW!!” He shook away the grisly thoughts and went after Gaara. He pulled him by the arm and spun him around, eyes meeting. “Look, Gaara. It’s nice that you’re being jealous over me, but I gotta tell you, that woman is my sort of aunt and I wouldn’t touch her for the world!”

The red-head still managed to look unconvinced under all the makeup. “Is that the truth?”

Naruto gripped the taller boy’s shoulders tightly. “Yes, Gaara! I’m not screwing with old ladies! Okay? Now what the hell is up with your face?!” He finally got the chance to ask.

“Huh?”

The blond shook his head. “Forget it; we’ll talk about it inside. You’re scaring people…” That was made obvious when passerby held their children in fear and ran off after just taking a glimpse at Gaara, what a coincidence that Naruto’s apartment was stationed on Elm Street. But of course, the red-head was oblivious to everything except the gorgeous blond in front of him, whom he was relieved wasn’t cheating on him…already…

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On the other side of the street, Stalker Sasuke observed the suspicious couple in the safety of his limo while sipping a chardonnay. He watched closely as Naruto dragged a clown thing up the stairs to his apartment. “Who the hell was that?” Sasuke whispered to himself, wondering if maybe Naruto was having a party that he wasn’t invited to. Even though Sasuke was deathly afraid of clowns and wouldn’t be caught dead in their presence. He checked his watch and it was fifteen passed six, and Gaara still wasn’t there yet. Maybe the crotch-kicking freak stood up his precious Naruto, now wouldn’t that be convenient.

Once again that night his cell rang. It had been ringing nonstop since Naruto’s announcement. He huffed in irritation and flipped open his cell. “Look, Mr. Walberg, how many times do I have to tell you…I know what the video said…I’m not interested in you…I have a brother, his name is Itachi, I’m sure you’ll like much better…just leave me alone dammit! I love someone else okay!” he hung up. Did he just say love? Now Sasuke was sure that he really had too much to drink. He put down the chardonnay with revulsion and sighed in spite of himself. He knew he had never loved anything in his life, and it sure as hell wasn’t Naruto. Whatever he was doing for the dobe, it wasn’t for love. He was just selfish like that. Sure he missed the blond, he might feel really nice around him, but does that really equate to anything meaningful?

The bored Uchiha stared out the window, watching people come and go; none of them had red hair. His interest was peaked however when a buxom blond woman stomped out of the building, looking upset. He recognized her as Tsunade, and something must have happened to irk the old woman. Did Gaara already arrive without his notice? Impossible!

He concentrated extra hard on his task and made sure to thoroughly analyze the next person who entered or left the building. He only waited five minutes when someone disturbingly familiar sprinted out of the building in a hurry. He scrutinized the flowing black hair and designer attire. Needless to say Sasuke nearly fell off his leather perch, his face glued to the glass.

“NEJI?!”

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Naruto shut the door behind him, but not before he shoved a clueless Gaara into the apartment.

“Gaki, do you mind introducing me to your…funny looking friend?” Tsunade asked disapprovingly. ‘Is THAT really his date? They sure don’t make homosexuals like they used to…’

Gaara glared at Tsunade scornfully while his opponent returned the favor with equal force. “Actually, I do mind.” Naruto intruded on the glaring match and shoved an uncooperative Tsunade to the door. “You’re sober right? So you can go take care of that little problem…” He opened the door and pushed the irked woman out.

“Fine gaki. But I need some -” Naruto slammed the door on her face.

He was a little guilty for banishing the woman, but he couldn’t bare another minute of being in the same room with his horrendously made up date. He pulled the writhing red-head in the direction of his room. “Oy Naruto! What are you doing? I…I don’t think I’m ready for this…” Well…then again…if Naruto insists…

“Oh don’t even go there Gaara! No offense but I refuse to be seen with you looking like that!” It was to Gaara’s soon to be horror that Naruto dragged him into the bathroom. Naruto tightly gripped the hair behind Gaara’s head. “I am very sorry for what I am about to do, but there’s nothing I can do that will get this done a hell of a lot faster, so forgive me.”

Gaara could only blink in confusion. “Uzumaki, what are you -” He was cut off short however when Naruto dunked his head into the toilet! His thrashing was proved useless as the blond held a surprisingly strong grip, pinning his face into the crap bowl. His scream of anguish was but a gurgle when Naruto pressed the lever, activating the flush. Gaara’s vision swirled along with the water, carrying his pride and his ego along with it.

Others might have found that amusing, but Naruto did not. Having been a victim of such forms of bullying, he didn’t find the situation the least bit entertaining. The icing on the cake however was that he had just flushed Gaara of the sandbox, the most feared face in all of Konoha, and his date! He had flushed his date! Naruto felt he had his actions were justified for Gaara would be a feared face for a whole other reason if he allowed him to flaunt his new look in public. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation, if in the likely chance that Gaara would refuse to even acknowledge him, after he squishes all three of his testicles that is. Naruto was already mourning his loss.

When Gaara’s flaying had ceased and the toilet began to fill itself, he reluctantly pulled the red-head out of the bowl. Needles to say, Gaara’s head was sopping wet, his bangs covered his eyes, seemingly immobilized. Naruto slowly backed out of the room, wanting a head start when Gaara would be set on breaking his balls. Gaara deliberately wiped the hair from his vision, revealing his eyes tinged with evil. He was breathing hard and glaring at Naruto with restrained fury. “Uzumaki Naruto…did you just fucking flush me?!” He looked extremely intimidating with the mascara flowing from his lids.

Naruto whimpered when his back met the wall. He waved his hands in front of him in self preservation. “S-sorry Gaara…it’s j-just that…I had to do it and…and you know…w-when you were l-looking like that….and…okay! I admit it! I d-didn’t know what I was thinking…and…oh…you’re wearing boots today…why are you looking at me like that? Hey Gaara not so close…you’re scaring me…I said I was sorry!”

By that time the two boys were already so close they could smell each other. On of them trying to meld with the wall, while the other made sure that Naruto could smell what he had eaten for breakfast that morning. “I’m gonna give you the count of three to run as fast as you can Uzumaki, cuz I WILL chase you.”

The blond meekly nodded with a gulp, his life had been good…well not really…

“One.”

And with that Naruto dashed to the living room with harried panic.

“Two.”

Naruto sweated profusely as his hands attacked the doorknob, wondering why it wouldn’t open, pleading with the Lord almighty to spare him. He had realized too late that he had forgotten to unlock the deadbolt as he cursed himself.

“Three.”

‘I hate my life...’

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Hyuuga Neji scaled the steps of Naruto’s apartment building with heavy stride. He cussed with as much fervor as his elegant vocabulary allowed. The main branch had “kindly” asked him to search for his dear cousin, who had escaped from the Hyuuga estate in nothing more than a nightgown, according to witnesses. Dark lines marred the skin under Neji’s pale eyes, rest having been denied from him since the eventful dawn. He had had a hard time just making it through school that day, having been in the same class as Sabaku and forced to subdue the barbaric urge to spill the red-haired brute’s blood with his delicate fingers. No doubt Hinata had fled out of the insanity of knowing that Naruto was going on a date, he would have too if he didn’t have so much self-control.

Neji didn’t take notice of the fuming blond woman who passed him on the stairs; all he could think about however was if the blond was already on his date, making him knit his brows in hate for the lucky sand jerk. He had arrived before what he was told was Naruto’s apartment. He dreaded it severely having to bother the cute blond about Hinata, though given his cousin’s mental state; Naruto just might have spotted her.

The pale eyed Neji was about to knock when he heard screams on the other side, very high-pitched and very energetic screams. He pressed his ear on the wood with apprehensive curiosity, finding it beyond himself to resort to spying, but when someone was making noises like that, who could ignore them?

He could distinctly hear the sound of moving furniture and a lot of screeching, along with the sounds of breaking glass, Neji paled in disconcertion.

“Gaara stop! It hurts dammit! I said I was sorry!”

Neji nearly had a heart attack; it was without a doubt the object of his unrequited affections screaming himself hoarse. He wanted to just bust the door open and wring the raccoon by the neck for even daring to hurt his blond!

“I think its fare Uzumaki! This will teach you for screwing with me!”

The shocked Hyuuga could not hold back his gasp. ‘What the hell were they doing?’

He could hear Naruto panting heavily. “Oh c’mon Gaara! I’m tired already! Hey! What the- That’s my dick dammit!”

Neji once again experienced one of his occasional brain freezes, jaw slackening and drool starting to pour from his open mouth.

“You were asking for this Uzumaki! When you stuffed my face in you’re crap hole!”

The Hyuuga had for that moment completely lost it. He had taken a glimpse into what it must be like in the mind of Hinata and it wasn’t pretty. He leaped an entire flight of stairs, squishing a giant rodent as he did so.

He shoved passed people of every sort, trying his best to forget what he had just witnessed. He stormed out of the building and quickly marched down the street, legs stiff and arms slack. Neji had never felt so unsophisticated.

He had somehow drifted into a dark part of the neighborhood with barely any streetlights; one of his prestige wouldn’t be caught dead in such a place if he could help it. Though he had to admit, it was an ideal place to have somebody murdered…

He was pulled out of his odious reverie when hands grabbed at his jacket and pulled him into a bush. His scream was muffled by a warm hand and breath ghosted into his ear. “Shh…settle down. You’re being followed.”

He was forced to look at the sidewalk with a hand on his face. He was ready to strangle whoever it was but his interest was shifted however when he caught sight of a figure standing where he used to be. The anomaly would have barely been noticed at all if he wasn’t alerted of its presence. It had on an entirely black outfit, and what seemed to be a fox mask. The mysterious figure looked around as if searching, but eventually gave up and returned to where he came.

When the coast was clear, he was rudely pushed out of the bush. He picked at the leaves and twigs on his five-hundred dollar jacket and stared incredulously at the emerging stranger. Surprised comprehension dawned on Neji’s pale features. He didn’t expect that at all.

“Why are YOU here?”

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Naruto had somehow ended up on the couch, which was probably the only area in his living room that wasn’t strewn with sharp objects, as the more robust of the two had him pinned on the cushion. Moisture dripped from Gaara’s still damp head, both boys breathing heavily. They stared into each other’s eyes, Gaara visibly softening just by peering into sapphire depths. “Now…Uzumaki. I really don’t want to hurt you and ruin our…date, so I’m just gonna ask once, why the hell did you flush me?”

Naruto’s widened in amazement. “So…you’re still gonna go out with me?” It was all he cared about at the moment.

Gaara shook his head at the stupid boy beneath him “Yes, dumbass. The fact that you’re not dead right now implies that I still have business with you. So…why? Did you think it would be funny?” Anger returned to Gaara’s tone, but it also carried with it a bit of hurt.

Naruto just marveled at the boy above him. Was he really not aware that he looked like a freak? “Why did you put on all that makeup Gaara?” He asked softly, not wanting to offend.

Realization struck like lightning on Gaara’s damp features. His grip on Naruto’s arms weakened considerably as embarrassment and sadness crept onto his face. “I thought…I just thought that it would make me look better…since people wear makeup on dates…and so I…” When he actually needed to talk, he ends up tongue-tied, oh how cruel was fate.

Naruto quirked a blond eyebrow. “Gaara…you do know that only girls wear makeup…right?” Well, except for Neji of course, but he felt it unnecessary to mention that.

The blue-eyed blond could have died at Gaara’s clueless expression. Was it really possible to be so naïve? He was aware that the red-head spent most of his life in isolation, and virtually had no friends. He didn’t have any idea what inspired Gaara to ask him on a date when he probably hadn’t been anywhere with anybody in his entire existence.

Naruto couldn’t help the mischievous grin from showing itself, as he wrapped his arms around the red-head’s neck and kissed him hard. That was it, his first true kiss, and he had a feeling it was Gaara’s first as well.

The red-head had his eyes open the whole time in shock, pleading with himself that what had just happened wasn’t a dream. Naruto freaking kissed him! After a time Naruto had finally let go of his lips with a glazed expression, Gaara however remained incredulous, trying to remember how to speak. “W-what w-was that for?” He sputtered his words.

Naruto’s grin grew wider, whiskers stretching. “That was for being so damn cute. I didn’t know you had it in you raccoon boy.” He chuckled.

Gaara’s face hardened as he frowned, though it wasn’t convincing to anyone, least of all himself. He was practically doing a can-can in his chest, he didn’t deserve Naruto. “I’m not cute.” He grumbled.

“Sure, whatever you say.” Naruto cupped Gaara’s face in his hands, the latter reveling in joy at the warmth he was given. “Just promise me that you’ll never ever touch another lipstick in you’re life okay?”

Gaara dazedly nodded in compliance and was rewarded with another smooch. Naruto crawled out from beneath him as Gaara still could not move. There was a strange uncomfortable feeling in his loins that he had never experienced before. It felt like he should unbutton his pants and set his manhood free or else the strange feeling would linger and would continue to feel tight and constricted. He hated being clueless and feeling dumb. As he was about to free his first ever erection without much thought behind it, the blond of his dreams grabbed him by the hand and dragged him to the bathroom. Gaara was about to resist when Naruto reassured him.

“Settle down raccoon butt! We need to clean up first. There’s still mascara on your face! It’s gross!

Gaara just smiled as he allowed the blond to fuss over him. Never in his life had he ever received so much affection, let alone in just ten minutes. If he knew that Naruto would be the one to do that for him, he would have asked him out years ago. He kicked himself for his cowardice and prior lack of initiative. He wondered if he was sick when his heart started beating faster that it ever had before, yet, he imagined a sickness that wasn’t so frightening to have…

‘…is this what love is like?’

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Okay…so I lied. Stalker mayhem ensues in the next chapter, and it’s quite a ways longer than this one. I just had to split it up since this chapter would have been too long. Since it’s already complete, rest assured that it will be out VERY soon. But I’ll only release it when I get at least 15 reviews…sorry folks, but writers’ gotta work for something.

Sorry if I’ve portrayed the GaaNaru thing a bit too fast. OMG! LOVE! Are you kidding me?! Well, to explain myself, Gaara has basically admired Naruto for years without doing a thing, cuz that’s what cowardice does to us. When you’ve grown up without much love, I guess it would be hard to risk it. But when it finally hits you, it sure does hit hard right? (-;