Restless

Here are Naruto’s and Sasuke’s reflections about the Valley of the End that some of you requested. Enjoy!

Restless

Chapter 10: Restless Training

Naruto looked down at his hands as he clenched his fists around the hospital's white bed sheet. He clenched and unclenched his hands. Slowly he brought his hand up and traced invisible lines on his throat.

The finger marks were no longer there, but he could vividly remember the way that Sasuke had grasped his throat, clamping the material of his jumpsuit tightly around his neck. Naruto remembered the way Sasuke's damp fingers had felt viselike as he attempted to choke him.

Naruto's hand moved to the right side of his chest, placing his hand where there was recently a gaping hole. It had been a terrible feeling. His mind had been numb, but his body now remembered the shock of the chidori as it pierced his body, the warmth of Sasuke's hand as it pulled out of his body, and then the air as it moved through Naruto's chest, through the gaping hole, stinging the almost fried nerves.

His entire body still tingled from the shocking feel of flames on his skin. It was as though the fire had been so hot that it had frozen his senses. Naruto reached a hand to the top of his head, feeling none of the imprints of the rocks that had cracked and pierced his skull as Sasuke had head slammed him into the ground. Finally his hand slid back to his neck, tracing the same spot where Sasuke had gripped when he had tried to choke him to death.

To death...

Sasuke had tried to kill him...

First a chidori to the chest, then by choking, next by fire jutsu, followed by a devastating blow to the head, and lastly another attempt with chidori.

Five times Sasuke had tried to kill Naruto. Five times Sasuke had failed.

But the fifth time – that was what had intrigued Naruto the most.

"Ne, Naruto? Did you know that two top rate shinobi can read each other's minds by just one hit? Ne, Naruto? What do you think? Can you read my mind? Eh?!"

Sasuke's echoing taunt had been nothing more than that at a time, an echoing taunt. But when Sasuke's chidori had met his rasengan, it held much more meaning than that. It had been a plea for help. Sasuke was in need of desperate help. When rasengan met chidori, Naruto HAD been able to read Sasuke's mind, and his thoughts bewildered Naruto.

There had been a strange connection between the two of them. When rasengan hit chidori, Naruto felt as though he had been transformed back to a child, along with Sasuke. He vividly remembered seeing Sasuke appear as a child; he had looked like he had before his clan had been massacred. Sasuke's eyes had changed, and seemed to show genuine happiness emitted within their depths. But the flood of images and memories after that had terrified Naruto.

Some of Sasuke's memories had swept into Naruto, and Naruto had seen fleeting images, mere glimpses of butchered bodies with the Uchiha crest on their backs. He had felt Sasuke's fear. His helplessness. And worst of all, his loneliness.

And somehow, within everything, Naruto understood that Sasuke's attempts to kill him had been a way to protect Naruto. Though how Sasuke had come to that conclusion, Naruto didn't know. What Naruto did not understand the most, was why Sasuke had then not carried through with killing Naruto. He could have. He'd had the chance, yet Sasuke had not taken it.

During the battle with Gaara, Naruto remembered Sasuke saying something about the reason that Itachi had left Sasuke alive was because the guilt Itachi had felt after killing his family had been so overwhelming that he had left Sasuke alive in order for him to become an avenger. If and when Sasuke finally killed him, it would eventually rid Itachi of his guilt. Now, Naruto wasn't really sure that Itachi would think of something like that; to him, Itachi was a cold-blooded murdering creep, but Sasuke was another matter. Perhaps - perhaps Sasuke had left Naruto alive because Sasuke would need someone to save him?

Naruto shook his head. He really hated thinking like this. It reminded him too much of his childhood, spending lonely nights awake just wondering why. Why did people hate him? Why wasn't he good enough?

Naruto hated thinking about theoretical whys, and decided to stop doing it.

"Stupid teme," Naruto said, wishing he knew why Sasuke had done what he'd done, but deciding he wouldn't think about it anymore. The only way he would know was to ask Sasuke, and the only way to ask Sasuke was to get the teme back from Orochimaru. Naruto nodded his head, making up his mind. Yes, he would be train with Jiraiya (the perverted Sannin had offered earlier that morning to do so), and would become so strong that he could beat the shit out of Sasuke, drag him back, and demand answers. Yes, that sounded good:

First, train really hard. Second, become impressively strong. Third, beat Sasuke up and show him how much stronger he was than the teme, and fourth, beat or molest Sasuke until he realized that he was an idiot, meanwhile demanding answers.

Yes, that was definitely a good plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sasuke looked around the small room Orochimaru had assigned him to. Orochimaru had smirked delightedly through his heavily bandaged body, apparently having recently done a body transfer on someone, as he had smugly shown Sasuke his new “home.” Sasuke had glared at Orochimaru, and at Kabuto, but Orochimaru seemed to take it in stride, leading him to this room. Kabuto seemed overly wary of him, but it didn't matter.

They had exchanged few words. The basics here were simple. Sasuke was here to train. Orochimaru would help him kill Itachi by taking over Sasuke's body. End of story.

Sasuke sat on the bed, the dim light flickering softly, making shadows dance on the walls. He knew by now that it must be afternoon, but there were no windows in a cave to indicate the actual time of day. Sasuke looked down at his hands, his hands that had been shaking ever since he had left the Valley of the End.

It was when Sasuke had seen the prone form of Naruto lying on the ground that the full results of his actions hit him. He had attempted to kill Naruto. He had used chidori for a third time and even with the aid of the cursed seal his chakra had been depleted. He was weak from chakra exhaustion, and from the full out battle he had had with Naruto. His body had moved slowly away from where his best friend lie motionless, and all Sasuke could do was numbly move towards where the cursed seal was pulling him.

The cursed seal. It buzzed in his head, making his brain ache. His head had hurt so terribly as he walked in the rain, his body exhausted, his mind in a whirl or past regrets and future hardships. Sasuke knew no matter what happened now that he would never be allowed to go back to Konoha.

The buzzing pull of the cursed seal had finally subsided upon reaching Orochimaru, and his head was finally clear. Sasuke could finally think for himself.

And he was scared shitless.

He was currently sitting in the hideout of the man that had killed Sandaime, and countless other faces, waiting for the day when his body would become the snake sannin's next step at reaching immortality. Sasuke's hands shook even more violently at the thought. If he had gotten there less than an hour earlier, Orochimaru would have had his body by now. Naruto had saved his life be fighting against him and deterring him from meeting up with Orochimaru sooner than he had.

Naruto had saved his life - and he had tried to kill him.

"God, what have I done?" Sasuke whispered, a lone tear dripping down his cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OVER ONE YEAR LATER...

Naruto supported himself on his hands and knees as he coughed up blood. With one shaky movement, he wiped the blood and spittle from the corner of his mouth.

"You're getting better," Jiraiya praised.

"Heh, heh, of course I am. I better be after a year of training," Naruto laughed shakily, pushing slowly off the ground as he found his balance to stand. "Soon, I'll be able to kick that teme's ass and bring him back home."

Jiraiya frowned and sighed. It was something that he did a lot, Naruto mused. Naruto knew for a fact that Jiraiya hated when he talked about Sasuke, but Jiraiya just did not understand. Naruto knew that Sasuke needed help (and a good pounding), but he wasn't really that bad. Jiraiya equated Sasuke's leaving with the same sort of traitorous ambitions as Orochimaru had had.

Jiraiya just didn't understand Sasuke.

Hell, Naruto would be surprised if Sasuke understood himself. Of everyone, Naruto was the closest to understanding Sasuke besides, well, Sasuke. Naruto knew that he needed support more than anything else. For whatever reason, Sasuke reminded Naruto of what Neji had said to him about a caged bird. Sasuke was like a hawk that needed to hunt in order to survive. By trying to keep it chained too long, the hawk could lose its will to live and die.

Comparing Sasuke to a hawk made Naruto think back to their fight at the Valley at the End when Sasuke had literally sprouted wings. Hawks could see their prey from as far away as a mile from the earth's surface as long as the prey moved. If it remained still, the hawk could not see it. Likewise, hawks could not see those that preyed upon them until they moved. In that way, Orochimaru was like a snake, going after Sasuke, still a fledgling hawk, preying upon him before he could fully take flight.

Just as Naruto was similar to the fox that lived inside him, he didn't enjoy being contained. Naruto could understand Sasuke's desire and need to just move. He couldn't just sit around and do nothing while people insisted that he wait. He needed to train and become more powerful. If Sasuke began to feel the least bit useless, the least bit threatened to what was safe, he would leave. Naruto had done the same thing.

Sasuke was the hawk that needed to soar, and Naruto was the fox that needed to run around wild.

And why the hell was he comparing Sasuke and himself to animals again...? Oh, yeah, he had been thinking that Sasuke was like a hawk...how thought patterns trail off...

"Ow!" Naruto yelped as Jiriaya bashed him aside the head. "What was that for?" Naruto grumped.

"Mataku. You spaced out. I called your name three times while you were off in la la land. What's gotten into you? You've been spacing out a lot more recently," Jiriaya said, his initial scolding tone ending in one of concern. Naruto sighed. He had been spacing out a lot more recently, but couldn't figure out why. He had gotten better at focusing, he really had, oh look! a butterfly! but for some reason, he'd been getting distracted more and more. Wow, that was a really neat looking butterfly - Naruto bet that Shino would have liked it a lot.

"Gomen," Naruto muttered apologetically. "Ne, ne, Ero-sennin, why don't we have perfectly blue butterflies like that one in Konoha?" Naruto asked, looking at the butterfly.

"Sure we do. And it's not all blue Naruto. It's got flecks of pink and yellow, baka. They're as plain as day," Jiraiya said, wondering why Naruto was rambling about butterflies of all things. Naruto squinted his eyes, not seeing the pink, but faintly making out the yellow.

"I think I see the yellow, but not the pink," Naruto said, inching closer to the butterfly that had landed several feet from him. Jiraiya leaned closer towards Naruto, looking back and forth between the butterfly, and Naruto's eyes.

"You can't see the pink?" Jiraiya said slowly. Naruto shook his head, adding an emphatic "nope!" as he did so. "Hmmm..." Jiraiya mused. "Naruto, over there, tell me how many branches are lying on the ground by that tree over there!" Jiraiya demanded harshly.

"Nani? What for?" Naruto asked confusedly.

"This is important!" Jiraiya bellowed.

"Geeze," Naruto looked at the ground by the tree about thirty feet from him, and then squinted and counted.

"Three," Naruto said.

"There are sixteen Naruto," Jiraiya said.

"No there aren't!" Naruto said. "Look, I'll prove it to you!" Naruto ran over to where the branches were, only to find, to his dismay, that he had only seen three large branches, and not the many smaller branches around them.

"Well they were really small! How did you expect me to see all those?" Naruto demanded angrily. Jiraiya put his face in his hands and began to laugh, a sort of broken, ironic laugh. "What's so funny?" Naruto asked.

"Naruto, you're practically blind!" Jiraiya said exasperated, his respect for Naruto's abilities increased, yet wondered how anyone could have missed that.

"Am not!" Naruto said defiantly.

“How many butterflies are over on that bush?” Jiraiya asked, pointing to a bush about twenty feet away.

“What butterflies?” Naruto asked confused. Jiraiya just shook his head as he watched the three butterflies flutter about.

"Well, your eyes need to be tested when we get to the next village, and then we will see who is right," Jiraiya said.

"That was a horrible joke, Ero-Sennin."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yo! Sorry I was late, there was a little girl who needed help selling lemonade so I-"

"Save it Kakashi," Tsunade said, effectively cutting off the jounin who had just appeared in her office. "I received this from Jiraiya. I thought you might be interested in its contents," Tsunade gritted out, handing him a letter while a slight vein throbbed in her forehead. "And don't read it my presence. Dismissed," Tsunade waved her hand at him, and Kakashi took the hint. He could tell that something had happened that had made her irritable, and Kakashi was not interested in being on the receiving end of one of her temper tantrums.

Kakashi perched on the roof outside of the Hokage tower, reading over the letter, clearly seeing why Tsunade was angry. Kakashi could clearly hear the mocking tone embedded in the letter as he read the coded words.

Tsunade,

Are you a medical ninja or not? How the hell could you have missed the fact that Naruto is BLIND?! It is clear that his performance since childhood has been affected because of his inability to properly see. Why the Nine-tails has not corrected this problem, I am not sure, but once we reach the next village, I will have Naruto examined by a PROPER medical ninja who knows how to actually take care of people. Honestly, how could you not have realized Naruto's inability to properly focus on his tasks had to do with the natural distractions that come with visibility loss? You of all people should know that poor vision results in trouble focusing.

The Frog Hermit

Kakashi shook his head. Jiraiya would never talk to Tsunade like that in person unless he wished to suffer severe repercussions. Kakashi sighed. Jiraiya had put the blame on Tsunade, not bothering to take credit for the fact that Jiraiya himself had not noticed this problem. Kakashi, of course, felt somewhat guilty as well. He hadn't even thought about that possibility. It made sense though. Thinking back, Naruto often squinted, and often seemed to be oblivious to certain aspects of his surroundings. That definitely impacted his ability as a ninja. The image of Naruto always standing out in the open, not bothering to hide as he attacked his enemy now made a lot more sense. Any good shinobi knew it was better to hide and watch your target. However, if Naruto were to hide, he would not only be unable to see his opponent, but his opponent would be more likely to spot him. It was actually better for Naruto to draw attention to himself in a wide area to prevent a disadvantage. Naruto never ceased to amaze Kakashi.

Still, Kakashi couldn't suppress a snicker as he imagined Naruto wearing huge glasses like Kabuto.

"Always the number one ninja at surprising people, eh Naruto?" Kakashi murmured to himself. He missed Naruto, and after his initial anger subsided, he felt that he missed Sasuke a little bit as well. He saw Sakura occasionally, but he likewise missed having her in his team.

Kakashi sighed, wondering if things would ever resemble “normalcy” again. Looking down at the letter in his hand, Kakashi had a feeling that the answer to that question was a big, fat no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weeks had blurred into months for Sasuke. It did not help that he had realized the foolishness of his decision. The only thing he could do now was train in order to survive. Every day he repeated to himself that this was the only option he had left. He told himself over and over again that this was what he wanted, and not what Orochimaru wanted for him. He was doing this because this was how things should be.

But he never believed himself. He knew that if he had a choice, if he could do it all over again, he would have found another way. Waiting to become Orochimaru's vessel sickened him. Let that man, that foolish, weak man use his body? There was no way that he would be a match for Itachi even in Sasuke's body. Yet Sasuke knew he couldn't leave. At the moment, he had no where else to go, and he had no way of preventing Orochimaru from controlling his mind with the cursed seal.

Besides, there was still the matter of Itachi. Itachi had to be gotten rid of once and for all. Before, Itachi had said that he did not have enough hate in him to kill, but now Sasuke knew he had plenty. Sasuke blamed his current situation on Itachi. If it had not been for his abomination of an older brother, Sasuke would still be in Konoha right now, and not waiting for the hideous snake bastard to take over his body. Sasuke would never have had any foolish ideas about killing his best friend. He'd be doing missions with Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto. And perhaps, he and Naruto would have been able to have a proper fight to decide who was dominant.

Though something about their last fight nagged in the back of Sasuke's mind. What the hell had all that powerful, red chakra been from? Naruto was hiding many secrets, and it both unsettled him and gave him peace at the same time. It unsettled him because he knew that there was something very sinister about that chakra, but it gave him peace to know that the reason that people were after Naruto was for a reason that did not involve him. Sill, he wanted to know what was going on with Naruto, and if he ever got the chance, he would find out, but Sasuke could do very little at the moment.

For now, Sasuke would train while he waited. Plans formed in his mind as he followed Orochimaru around. He began to make allies within the Sound. People began to respect him. He did not kill anyone. No one. Whenever Orochimaru forced him to train, he would knock all of his opponents unconscious. He never killed them. They respected and revered him for it. Sasuke was slowly gaining power in the form of a grudging respect and loyalty from some of the Sound nin. But by Sasuke's calculation, he still had a year and a half before he could truly do anything against Orochimaru. For now, all Sasuke could do was grit his teeth and wait.


Next chapter: Restless Eyes

Sorry, no Naruto/Sasuke interaction in this chapter, but there will be in the next chapter, and perhaps, some mild smut…? Please let me know what you think! - Jelp