Role Play

A/N: Love meh, for I am back again. For those who actually tolerate my author’s notes- a few items of business.
- I’ve got another Beta! So I have Adi; and now my best friend, Mayz, has informed me that she will beta my stories, and I have no choice in the matter! Whoot!
- I have tentatively set the conclusion of this story for Chapter 12. Just in time too- I just got my first complaint/comment that I was dragging the story out. I am not doing that, I swear! (Big, innocent eyes).
- Finally, my country was hit by a Hurricane (not Naruto, unfortunately). Took a while to get back power, water and all the good stuff. Since I had no power, I couldn’t do any work, so I am even further behind schedule. My internet access problems remain, and I haven’t figured out a practical and inexpensive solution yet.

Mood Music: Counting Crows- ‘Accidentally in love’
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Naruto sat in the TV room, using the hour before clinic duty to rest and relax. He was in his twenty-sixth hour of being on-call. Being tired he could deal with; being tired and tormented by thoughts of Sasuke- now that was an entirely different level. For the past few hours, he could have sworn he had seen Sasuke at least fifteen times. This preoccupation was starting to make him nervous. Plus he was worried about what his friend was plotting; Naruto knew he was plotting something. Only Kami-sama knows who Sasuke had roped into helping him too. So on top of everything else, Naruto was paranoid.

You can’t stop thinking about me, can you dobe? Sasuke’s smirking face floated before him, and Naruto stuck his tongue out at the apparition. Needing a distraction and being too wired to sleep, Naruto picked up the remote and turned on the stereo.

…‘What’s the problem, baby?’ What’s the problem? I don’t know… well maybe I’m in love.
Love?! Think about it, every time I think about it; can’t stop thinking ‘bout it.
How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it, cuz I can’t ignore it, if its love!
Love! Makes me wanna turn around and face me; but I don’t know nothing ‘bout love!

They had to be kidding. Snorting to himself, Naruto raised the remote. –Click-

When the truth is found to be lies! And all the joy within you dies!
Don’t you want somebody to love? Don’t you need somebody to love?
Wouldn’t you love somebody to love? You better find somebody to love!
-Click-

‘This is KK3X radio station- on air, all day and all night! OW!! We have a brand new release from the ‘Sound Village’, with DJ Starlight and his fresh new single: ‘You know you want me, you blond moron- stop being so difficult!”

Naruto’s jaw dropped. He quickly turned off the radio as the singer started to recount his tale of a friend- who refused to admit to there was something much deeper than mere friendship between them. Now Sasuke was using his talent-challenged underlings to broadcast his intentions all over the airwaves. It was official; Naruto had opened and entered the sixth gate of hell. The entire music industry was conspiring against him. Of course he’d expect it from Sasuke, but did everyone have to get in on it?

Huffing, Naruto leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He focused, and started to meditate on all things NOT Sasuke.

“Oooh Uzumaki-sama is so dreamy when he is troubled. (Squeal) I want nothing more than to go in and smooth away his cares!”

“(Squeal) Me too! Oh, but you don’t think he’s thinking about a girl, do you?!”

“No way! Uzumaki-sama is undoubtedly worried about a patient because he is sensitive and feels deeply for anyone who suffers!” And then there was more squealing.

Sakura rolled her eyes as she observed the three nurses. The young women were squatting down, peeking over the window, as they spied on Naruto. Sakura walked pass them and headed into the room. Feeling evil, Sakura dropped unceremoniously into Naruto’s lap and cuddled him. She grinned into Naruto’s chest as she heard shocked, indignant exclamations and the retreat of the livid nurses.

Naruto felt a familiar weight settle on him; he barely cracked one eye open and received a blast of pink. He closed his eye again and spoke.

“Why are you so mean to my fan-girls? You know Uzumaki-sama needs his fan-girls!”

“Oh Uzumaki-sama, it’s because you’re sooo hawt! I must have you to myself!” Sakura giggled as Naruto snorted rudely at her response. “Our shift ends in another few minutes. Are you heading straight home?”

“Nope, I am finishing my clinic hours for the week. I want tomorrow free. I promised Gaara I’d hang with him.”

“Ehh! We’ve both been working non-stop for over a day now! Are you sure you can manage the clinic after this?!”

“Don’t worry about it… I feel great. I got a little sleep here and there. It’s fine, really!” Sakura sighed.

“There’s no avoiding it. I’ll help you finish your hours, so you’ll get out of here in half the time.” She gave him a look that ended all thoughts of protest.

They stood before the double doors leading to the clinic and sighed. All the freaks came to the clinic, mixed in thoroughly with the normal people. Plus it was night; things always became exponentially weirder at night. Taking one last steadying breath, Naruto and Sakura strode into the firestorm.
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Patient 1
Naruto eyed the clipboard as he walked into the room. The test results were conclusive, it was just a matter of informing the patient. The doctor was intensely surprised to see a group of nuns staring at him expectantly.

“Err, Tanaka Rei-san?” A young nun, seated on the bed, waved at him. Naruto looked back at his clipboard, then back at the nuns, then back at the clipboard again. “Umm, Tanaka-san, I have your test results.”

An elderly sister spoke up. “Is everything alright, Doctor? We have been worried sick about Sister Tanaka. We were so shocked when she collapsed! And she was throwing up all day before that! Young Father Fong is extremely worried about her; we want to report to him quickly!” Naruto quirked an eyebrow...

“Father Fong…?” The young nun was staring at the ceiling with great interest. The elder nun nodded her head.

“Oh yes! They work closely together. Sometimes they’d be locked in his office for hours, just praying.” The old nun beamed with pride, as the patient focussed on another interesting ceiling tile.

“Praying, huh… Ladies, could you excuse us for a moment?”

“Why? Is there something wrong?!” Naruto waved his hands as the nuns became agitated.

“No, no! it’s just, umm, hospital policy to… uh… discuss things with the patient, privately…or something like that.” Despite his pathetic lying skills; Naruto managed to get the nuns out. He finally turned to his patient. “So, biblically speaking- I’d say that thou art with child…”

The young nun huffed, and crossed her arms before her. This was done in a manner which could only be described as supreme annoyance. She then remembered that she wasn’t alone. She turned to her doctor, and tried to summon her best shocked expression.

“But that is impossible…” The girl spoke haltingly and robotically. Obviously, this girl was never going to win an Oscar. “…for I have never been with a man.” Naruto clicked his tongue, nodded, headed over to the window and peered out. “What are you doing?” The young nun asked with interest.

“I am not really versed on Christian doctrine, since I’m Shinto; but virgin births are a huge deal in any religion. I do recall that the last time this happened for you people major stuff went down. I’m looking for a star in the east… none yet but the sun will come up tomorrow. Does that count?” The young woman narrowed her eyes and gave him an appreciable glare. Naruto continued regardless. “No wise men. However, there’s a pizza delivery man, some guy with flowers and an EMT with an organ in a cooler. So I guess they come bearing gifts?”

“You don’t have to be so sarcastic about it!” The girl stated, tossing her head testily.

“You’re a pregnant nun! This situation begs for sarcasm.”

“Look…Catholics have a rule against using protection! What did you want me to do?!”

“You’re a nun! You’re not supposed to be getting any! It’s in the name, see- nun equals none. Nun-none!”

“My parents said it was either the convent or the army. And how many nuns get shot down over enemy waters?!’

“Ah touché. Well…do you have any idea what you’re going to do?” The girl appeared to think for a while.

“Hey, do you think they’d buy a second virgin birth?” Naruto smacked his face with his clipboard.
--

Patient 2

“So Ranma-san…” Sakura said, looking at the young man before her. “…what seems to be the problem?”

“It’s like this; when someone throws cold water on me- I turn into a girl. When it’s hot water- I turn back into a guy. It’s really starting to confuse and piss me off. It’s really inconvenient too! For instance, there’s this guy; he’s is in love with the girl me but hates and is trying to kill the guy me. You see my problem?! What should I do?”
Sakura stared at the agitated man for a moment.

“Okay, so I’m just going to go ahead and refer this one to psychiatry.”
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Patient 3
There was the scent of singed hair filling the room. Smoke wafted off the young man’s skin and his hair stood stiffly on end. His eye twitched uncontrollably and ever so often, a strong spasm rocked his body.

Naruto surveyed the scene before him placidly. Struggling to keep his face straight and calling on his sense of professionalism- he asked the obvious question.

“Space Invader?”

Kiba had to wait until the last electrical shock passed through his system. “Space Invader…” He affirmed.

Behind Kiba, a beet-red Hinata was trying desperately to sink into the wall.
--

Patient 4

Sakura’s patience was running short with the man before her. The chart said ‘groin injury’ but this man was refusing to do the requisite show-and-tell. For the last ten minutes, Sakura had been trying to get the man to open up- literally and figuratively. It had all been in vain.

“Sir, your obvious reluctance is more than likely due to one of two reasons. You may be unwilling because I’m a woman and you fear the effect the sight will have on me. Or you maybe embarrassed about your injury and/or your penis size. If it is the first reason; let me hasten to assure you that yours wouldn’t even be the first penis I have seen in the last hour, let alone today, this week or the course of my career. While I don’t want to brag, I must say the restraint I’ve shown, as it concerns molesting anyone, has been near legendary. So you don’t have to worry.

Now, if it is embarrassment about your condition of your ‘special friend’. I am a doctor and very few injuries could possibly surprise me- if any! And as I have said before- I have seen a quite a few penises. I have seen tiny ones, huge ones, limp, hard, bald, hairy, straight, crooked, shy and frisky ones. I’ve also seen more than my fair share of dead ones. Now unless you want yours to fall into the last category, you will drop your damned pants!”

The man let out a small ‘eep’, before his hands dived for his belt buckle. His pants fell and a moment later, so did his boxers.

“OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Sakura exclaimed, as the startled man quickly moved to cover himself with his hands.

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?!” the man yelled, his face paling.

“BECAUSE I’M COMPLETELY SHOCKED!” Sakura yelled back, still too surprised to adjust her volume to acceptable levels.

“YOU SAID NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY SURPRISE YOU ANYMORE!!” He knocked his knees together as he continued to cover up.

“OBVIOUSLY I WAS WRONG!!”

“STOP YELLING AT ME…YOU’RE SCARY!!” Recovering her composure, Sakura abruptly dropped her volume and attempted to calm the freaked man.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry! It’s been a long day. Its fine, its fine. Wha-What happened… down there?”

The man eyed Sakura suspiciously but allowed the pink-haired medic to calm him down.

Finally, he was coaxed into an explanation, as his embarrassing examination commenced.

“Well, it’s me and my girlfriend’s six-month anniversary, and I wanted to do something special. So…I decided to tattoo her name unto Mr. Feel-good.” Sakura’s quashed laugh came out as a snort which she deftly covered with a few coughs. “But after a few hours, the pain only got worse and it started swelling up- and not in a good way. And after a while, it looked like this…”

‘This’- referred to the black, blue, and purplish-red monstrosity before her. Sakura frowned and stood quickly. She ordered some broad-spectrum antibiotics and scheduled blood-tests.

“Just off what I see here, I am guessing those tattoo needles were dirty. You’ve got one hell of an infection. Dirty needles are vectors for a lot of different diseases too, including STDs. I’m going to have to admit you, until a more define course of treatment is determined.”

“I’m…I’m not going to lose Mr. Feel-Good, am I?” Sakura hid her smile by coughing again.

“I doubt it. In any event, we’ll try our best to make him feel good again.”
--

Patient X

Naruto rifled through the medicine cupboard, taking down some tongue-depressors and alcohol preps. He was still searching for cotton swabs when his next patient entered the room.

“Yamaguchi-san, please have a seat on the bed. I’ll be right with you.” Naruto closed the cupboard, the mirrored door revealing the patient behind him. “AAAH!!”
Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Don’t you think you’re being just a tad melodramatic?”
Naruto turned and glared at Sasuke accusingly. The Uchiha leaned placidly against the bed and watched his friend sputter.

“You! What are you doing here?! What have you done with Yama…there is no Yamaguchi-san, is there?” Sasuke smirked and shrugged.

Naruto picked up his clipboard and strode towards the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Sasuke asked with genuine curiosity. Naruto paused, a hand on the handle of the door.

“I still have clinic duty, and there are genuine patients to attend to. So if you’ll excuse me.” Granted, it was only fifteen more minutes before his duty ended, but Sasuke didn’t need to know that.

“I’m a complaining patient and you can’t leave without examining me.”

“Wanna bet?” Naruto started opening the door.

“Walking out without checking a patient…does your hospital insurance cover that?” Naruto paused and stiffened.

“You wouldn’t…”

“Tsunade-sama would have your balls if you caused trouble for this hospital.”

Naruto didn’t know if he could put it past Sasuke, not to sue the hospital over factitious injuries. And Tsunade would have his balls. Naruto liked his balls…he was very attached to them. Still, that would be low…even for Sasuke. Suddenly, memories of the news report, showing a sobbing Orochimaru being carted away from the Sound Village, cursing Sasuke and the hell-hounds that bore him came back to Naruto. Still…

“Besides, you have to treat me…it’s in your hypocrite oath!” A vein in Naruto’s temple bulged.

“It’s the Hippocratic Oath, you jackass! You and I both know there isn’t anything wrong with you! Physically anyway…”

“I have my lawyers on speed dial. Give me a second.” Sasuke searched through his jacket for his cell phone, while Naruto gripped the door handle even more tightly.

“Fine Sasuke, fine! What exactly is your ‘complaint’?”

“I hurt… here, here and here!” Sasuke turned innocent eyes on Naruto, as he pointed to his head, chest and groin. Naruto’s eyebrow threatened to jerk right off his face.

“I see. I’m going to blame the ‘chest pain’ on heartburn. In that case… don’t eat spicy food, put some ice on your crotch, take two aspirins and call someone else in the morning.”

Sasuke immediately clutched his chest and initiated the worst piece of acting Naruto had seen since the nun left.

“Oh the pain, oh the agony.” Sasuke said in a flat monotone. “Oh the indescribable, PG-13 horror. I feel litigation coming on…”

The vein in Naruto’s head threatened to explode.

“If it is a catastrophic cardiac episode you are currently attempting to fake… might I remind you, that your heart is on the other side of your chest?”

Sasuke blinked for a moment, and deliberately dropped his left hand. He then proceeded to clutch his chest with his right, and resumed his monotonous moaning. Naruto threw his hands up, and asked Kami-sama what he did to deserve this.

Stomping over to the infuriating bastard, Naruto came to a halt before him. Glaring earnestly; Naruto tried desperately to think of a way to examine Sasuke, without actually having to touch him. In the meanwhile, he thought it prudent to back away, until he was at least a little over an arm’s length away from his friend. Given the smug smirk and the veritably starved look in Sasuke’s eyes- Naruto determined that the distance wasn’t nearly enough. In fact, Japan suddenly felt far too small. Maybe be should run off to America and become a Kung-fu master.

Sasuke’s smirk hitched a little higher as he watched Naruto unconsciously continue to back away. If the blond retreated any further, they’d have to communicate via smoke signals. Testing his powers, Sasuke stuck his tongue out a little and slowly wetted his lower lip. Naruto’s eyes darkened a bit as he watched the slow passage of pink across Sasuke’s lips. Pulling his tongue back in, Sasuke’s hitched his smirk even higher.

Gotcha!

Realizing what just happened and that he was another step away from backing into the wall, Naruto halted his retreat. Then he unveiled the biggest, most terrifying glare he had in his arsenal; just to show that he meant business.

It was painfully obvious to Sasuke that Naruto didn’t have a drop of Uchiha blood anywhere in his lineage. He couldn’t glare for shit. Naruto’s ‘worst’ only managed to make him look like a petulant child with a headache. The smirk, once again, hitched a little higher. Any more and Sasuke’s face would become so lopsided, it would fold over onto itself.

Judging from the unholy glee emanating from Sasuke, Naruto guessed that his glaring wasn’t having much effect. Plus his face was starting to hurt- how Sasuke did this almost perpetually, he would never understand.

“What is the matter with you?! Why are you being so difficult?” Naruto asked in exasperation- once again coming to a pause before Sasuke.

“Eh? That’s my line! You’re the one being impossible here!”

“Why can’t you accept my reasoning?”

“Because your ‘reasoning’ is ridiculous and moronic!” Sasuke saw Naruto’s irritation harden into chilly anger. Okay, maybe calling it ‘ridiculous and moronic’ was a bad move.

“What part of ‘I don’t want to be with you because I don’t think it’s worth it’ slipped by you? Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” Naruto pulled up his chair and sat, feeling unbelievably tired. He put his clipboard aside, closed his eyes and started massaging his temples.

“Why the hell wouldn’t it be worth it? Aren’t you Disney-watching, bleeding-heart types always talking about relationships and feelings and how it is better to have loved than not all, or something like that?” Sasuke waited on a response but Naruto was still rubbing his temples and… was he humming? Sasuke continued suspiciously, positive the blond was ignoring him and deciding to test his theory. “Yes, so then… did I ever tell you that thong underwear makes me feel pretty?"

Naruto responded by dropping his hands from his temples, and leaning back in his chair, snoring softly.

“Usurantonkachi…” Sasuke used a foot to tilt Naruto’s chair backwards. Blue eyes flew open as Naruto felt himself going. He flailed wildly for a moment before the inevitable crash. “Listen to me when I’m talking to you, dobe!”

Naruto got up, righted his chair and sat back down again, beyond the reach of Sasuke’s foot. There was an underlying threat of him going right back to sleep- just to piss the Uchiha off.

“I was having a weird dream. I was banging my head against a brick wall that had the Uchiha symbol stamped all over it. I wonder what that meant.” Sasuke ignored the bait.

“Besides, isn’t it all about bonds with you, Naruto?” Naruto ran a hand through his hair.

“Throwing my words back in my face isn’t going to win you the war, Sasuke.”

“Well then, I’ll just do what you always do; when all else fails, annoy into submission.” Naruto lifted a brow and gazed at Sasuke steadily.

“Why are you here, Sasuke?”

The question irked Sasuke; how many times did he have to repeat himself?

“I told you- I think we should be together. Because of…you know- the whole love thing.” Naruto rolled his eyes.

“Your romantic eloquence moves me, Casanova. You know, until a week ago, I could count the number of times you’ve ever said the ‘L’ word on one hand. Now you can’t seem to make it through a sentence without it.”

Sasuke stiffened and his dark eyes went glacial. This announced the arrival of affronted!Sasuke. “You’re making a joke out of this…”

“I’m not making fun of you, Sasuke. Trust me; none of this drama amuses me. I just wish you could see things from my point of view.” An idea appeared to take root, and Naruto looked curiously at Sasuke. “You know why you’re here? It’s not because you suddenly realized that we’re soul mates or anything like that. You’re here, because your dick has graduated from simply taking an active interest, to actually running the show!”

“WHAT?!” Sasuke fairly screeched, heralding the switch to righteously-indignant-and-somewhat-mortified!Sasuke. All that was missing was the Uchiha saying ‘I beg your pardon’ with a British accent.

Before Sasuke could build up enough steam to properly ‘get his angry on’; Naruto was leaning over him, warm breath ghosting over Sasuke’s ear as he spoke.

“You don’t love me, Sasuke. You think you do- but you don’t.”

Before he got a chance to protest, Sasuke’s breath was cut off by Naruto pressing his lips against his. His response was immediate; opening his mouth to let Naruto’s tongue slide against his and moving to press into the enticing warmth. Breathless, Naruto broke the kiss and went back to whispering in Sasuke’s ear.

“You’ve got an itch to scratch, Sasuke. What you really want is this…” Naruto elicited a groan from Sasuke, as he slipped a hand down to give rub firmly against his friend’s covered erection. “We’ve got a weird relationship, Sasuke. It’s messy and intense and we get way too tangled up in each other…” Sasuke’s head swam as Naruto continued rubbing.

His breath hitched when he felt a tongue swipe against his earlobe. “So I understand how you got it confused; but all you really want from me…is to scratch that itch.” And with that epithet, Naruto moved once again, to capture Sasuke’s eager lips with his own.

Naruto, of course, had no way of knowing how Sasuke’s brain handled sexual arousal. From the moment Naruto made physical contact, words stopped making any sense whatsoever to him. Had Sasuke’s synapses been firing at a reasonable rate, he would have known that this was the time to stop and correct Naruto’s gross misunderstanding of the situation. At this point he would have endeavoured to and possibly succeeded in, clarifying and proving the existence and sincerity of his finer, tender feelings towards his friend; beating it into him if necessary.

Unfortunately for both involved, Sasuke’s brain had dumped all thought and cognition processes. It opted to focus on sending blood to its owner’s lower regions and on finally completing the mating act with the elusive, blue-eyed quarry. It was understandably frustrated when Naruto pulled away again.

“I’ll make you a deal, Sasuke…” Naruto held Sasuke’s chin, establishing eye contact as to ensure there was no misunderstanding. “I’ll give you what you want. I’ll scratch that itch, as often as you want, whenever you want; until your curiosity is finally satisfied. Isn’t that what you really want?” Naruto asked sincerely, praying Sasuke would prove him wrong. “Then you’ll stop this obsessive behaviour of yours…”

Sasuke got the general idea that Naruto wanted something from him. The beautiful blue eyes were questioning, hopeful, and filled with dread, all at the same time. Sasuke slowly nodded. If Naruto was asking him for something, surely he wanted a positive answer. ‘Yes’ was good thing… people always wanted to hear ‘yes’. Sasuke, himself was very fond of that word. So he told Naruto ‘yes’, he wanted to do nothing but tell Naruto ‘yes’, for the rest of his life. He had done a good thing, so why did Naruto look so sad?

“Fine then. I’m guessing it will be a little awkward for us, when you decide to end it. But we’ll find our rhythm again and get back to normal. We always do…right?” Naruto wasn’t about to do this, just to get dumped as a lover and a friend in one fell swoop. He relaxed slightly when Sasuke nodded again. His friend had a lot of faults, but lying wasn’t one of them.

Naruto stared at Sasuke a while longer. He observed his friend’s ragged, uneven breathing; his flushed that stained his skin and his dilated pupils. All the physical signs spoke volumes to him. He had hoped Sasuke would have turned him down; told him to take his deal and shove it- taking it as an affront to his authenticity of feelings.

Instead, the worst of his doubts were proven correct. He was expecting it, but it still felt as if someone had kicked him in the chest. But all that will have to be put aside- he had an itch to scratch.

Sasuke’s eyes slowly closed as Naruto’s lips trailed his jaw line, and warm fingers cupped his cheek. He shifted slightly to accommodate Naruto, as the blond pushed his jacket off. Naruto sighed as he started sucking on Sasuke’s earlobe. If anything, the bastard tasted good. Everything about this, felt good and right- which made the irony of this awful situation that much more pronounced.

Impatience with the slow build of things annoyed Sasuke. He twisted his fingers firmly into Naruto’s hair, and yanked the man’s lips to meet his. The kiss deepened, becoming fast and devouring as each tried to taste and touch as much of each other as he could. Sasuke’s small, muffled sounds of pleasure and satisfaction drove Naruto on, as he bit and sucked at his friend’s lips and pushed a hand beneath Sasuke’s shirt.

Sasuke had wasted no time in relieving Naruto of his stethoscope, and was in the process pushing off the doctor’s white coat. With no buttons, zippers or need to break contact as hindrances, the garment complied readily enough. Naruto tossed it on the bed behind Sasuke, keeping the man pressed against him.

Acknowledging the mutual need for air, Naruto broke the kiss and moved to tease Sasuke’s ears.

“You want this right? This is what you’re after…” Naruto punctuated his query by pulling off Sasuke’s belt. A moment later, Sasuke was panting as Naruto’s hand slid down his length; ruffling the short, curly hairs that rode low on his abdomen.

“I’m giving you what you need, right Sasuke? I’ll make it good for you…” Naruto hadn’t pulled down Sasuke’s pants but despite the small restriction, the strokes came faster and harder. Mindless, Sasuke thrust into the hot fist repeatedly; one hand gripping the bedding behind him, the other fisting his lover’s hair.

“Is this how you want me, Sasuke? There’s still time to stop…” The word ‘stop’, spoken in Naruto’s husky, soft tones, stirred Sasuke to speech.

“Don’t stop…” It was a simple and final command; and despite its clarity, all activity did halt for a moment.

Naruto rested his head in the crook of Sasuke’s neck; feeling completely drained and adrift. Sasuke was the only person on earth, who could make him feel this exhausted and miserable. Before long though, Sasuke was tugging at his hair and Naruto stirred himself to action.

The kissing resumed with Naruto fighting the urge to make it hard and punishing. Naruto did a quick mental inventory of the medicine cabinet in the room, deciding what the best lubricant would be. He would have to break from Sasuke in a moment to get it. In the mean time the frenetic pace of the kiss grew.

“Naruto! Are you hungry? We want to go to…” Sakura and Ino came to a dead stop, gaping as Naruto jumped away from Sasuke.

A moment of shocked silence later, Sakura was busy dissolving into a puddle of apologetic goo.

“I am so sorry Naruto, Sasuke-kun! I didn’t know….I thought… I’m sorry! I’m sorry”
Sakura gave nervous, penitent bows with each flustered apology. Ino, on the other hand, had no such guilt issues. She leered unabashedly at the two men, taking in their varied states of undress. She was a sneeze away from a nosebleed.

As Sakura bowed and repented towards, she noticed Ino wasn’t joining her. She quickly retrieved her ogling friend.

“I’m sorry, we’re sorry! We’re leaving!” Sakura tittered nervously as she dragged Ino outside.

Naruto watched the door- listening as he heard loud, deliberate footsteps stomping away from the door. Sasuke, for his part, was sobering up- slowly piecing together the last part of his talk with Naruto and the events that followed. He was starting to realize something had gone terrible wrong, and it wasn’t the interruption.

“Naruto…” Sasuke halted his speech as Naruto turned towards him and approached. His breath caught as Naruto leaned in towards him. However, the man was only retrieving his coat.

Gathering his coat, clipboard and stethoscope, Naruto made his way towards the door and gave a sharp yank inward. Devoid of their support- Sakura and Ino could only manage surprised yelps, as they tumbled into the room- a tangled heap of colourful hair and limbs.

Both ladies scrambled up, ready to grovel and apologise for their obvious eavesdropping. Their words died quickly, when they saw Naruto’s face.

“Sakura, Ino…” Sakura couldn’t recall a time when Naruto hadn’t called her Sakura-chan. This apparently made an impression on Ino as well, as both women looked up in consternation. “No one hears about this…”

Both girls nodded dumbly. Sakura looked from Naruto’s tense face to Sasuke. Instead of a glare promising death and mutilation, Sasuke was miserably arranging his clothes- face firmly averted from the three people in the room. What on earth had just happened?

The two women left, leaving Naruto and Sasuke alone again. Naruto looked over his shoulder at Sasuke, preparing to leave.

“Sorry Sasuke… I forgot for a moment where we were. We can’t do that here. Just call me when you want it.”
-----------------------

Gaara was seated near the exit, waiting for Naruto. He had told his guards to take a hike but had to compromise by wearing a ridiculously large baseball cap and jacket. Naruto soon appeared, and Gaara took one look at his friends face and spoke.

“What happened… what’s wrong?” Naruto smiled easily, thanks in part to his friend’s get-up.

“I’m fine, I’m fine…Never better. Now in a totally unrelated matter… do you still have diplomatic immunity?”

TBC
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KK: WTF!! Angst! Where did angst come from?!

KK’s bishounen, Austrian manservant, Manservante, rushes in, drops to his knees and rips off his shirt.

Manservante: Noooooooo!! Kitsune-sama! Evil, angst-filled plot-bunnies are in your yaoi garden; and they are eating all the happy-happy-joy-joy, butt-sex carrots! And why wasn’t there a single manly word in that sentence?

KK: What-what now? I didn’t hear a word after you took off your shirt… (Manservante repeats message) Noooooooooooes… the carrots!!
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A/N: I’ve just been through a hurricane and H-E-double hockey sticks to finish and post this chapter. So don’t begrudge me a little angst! XD That’s all of the angst I had left in me, I swear. Plus, I needed that set-up, based on how I have decided to end this fic. Keep your fingers crossed for a chap. 12 conclusion! I’m dead tired, so I have nothing else to say, right now. I hope you enjoy to the post, and I’ll try to get chap. 11 up quickly. Feel free to leave a comment. All thoughts/reviews are loved, cherished, appreciated, and read a bedtime story before they are tucked in. Much love!
P.S. No one caught the lyrics I used in the last chap. The first part of Gaara and Naruto’s ‘check-up’ conversation was taken from the song ‘Royal Pain’ by the Eels. Look again, and you’ll see it.

Mayz (Data-Beta):SUSHI!!! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!
KK: I think that means she likes it...