Broken

Author's note: I might do Iruka's POV later and I will at some point be doing an alternate ending that is Ibiki/Iruka rather than KakaIru yes ANGST for our poor Kakashi though :( but I like Ibiki and it'll be the alternate ending and it's for my beta who is awesome and wonderfuls and a big Ibiki/Iruka fan. Besides I deliberately set up for being able to do it if I decided I wanted to. But all this won't be for like months probably. So enjoy the happily ever after.

------ Ch. 10 ------

Iruka stopped as soon as they came within eyesight of the gates. "Kakashi..."

The copy-nin turned to look, and catching sight of the nervousness in the other man's eyes, he lept back to where the chunin stood. "Are you alright? If you're not ready, we can go back."

"No, I'm okay. It's just..." Iruka swallowed hard, still looking like he might throw up any second. "Don't go too far okay."

"I won't. You'll be fine, though." He smiled reassuringly, even though it wouldn't be visible with his mask back up.

"Does everyone know?" Iruka wasn't really looking at him, instead the chunin was staring off towards the gates.

"Tsunade and Ibiki aren't likely to have told anyone. Naruto has been informed by the both of them that the story is that you're on vacation. As far as anyone knows, I've been on missions. I had Yamato henge into me to hand in a few reports, so it's unlikely anyone will realize it's anything other than the absolute truth." He laid a hand on Iruka's shoulder, and the chunin looked at him. "There may be a few ANBU, or ex-ANBU, who have figured it out, but you don't have to worry. They won't say anything."

Iruka relaxed and as they arrived at the gates. Kakashi chatted aimlessly about various things that had been going on in the village while Iruka was away. The information had, of course, come from Yamato.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto yelled as he wrapped his arms around the surprised chunin.

Kakashi noticed the slight hesitation before Iruka smiled and ruffled the teen's blond hair. He was sure most would chalk it up to surprise unless they knew otherwise.

"Calm down, Naruto. I haven't been gone that long. After I drop my things off, we can go have ramen if you like. But, only if you let me go so I can breathe," Iruka laughed gently, pushing the blond away and taking a step closer to Kakashi. "Would you like to join us, Kakashi-sensei? I mean, you just got back from a mission, so you're probably starving."

"I'd like that." He smiled, relieved that Iruka seemed to be adjusting quickly. "I'll walk with you since we don't live far from one another, and you can tell Naruto and I more about your vacation."

"You live near me?" Iruka seemed surprised when Kakashi nodded. He only lived a block away, a convience he, himself, hadn't realized until just now.
They were almost there when Naruto suddenly decided he should go find Sakura and see if she wanted to join them. Iruka suggested that Sai might want to come, and Naruto agreed to look for him as well. The blond darted off, saying he'd see them at Ichiraku's. [4.]

The moment Kakashi shut the door to Iruka's apartment, dropping his pack beside it, he found his arms full again. The chunin buried his face against Kakashi's chest. He wrapped his arms around the younger man's shoulders. At first, he thought that Iruka was crying, but then he realized the other man was merely shaking.

"It's okay, Iru-koi." He rubbed the knotted shoulders with one hand, holding Iruka close with the other.

"Tell me this gets easier," the brunette asked, finally relaxing.

"It will and you'll be fine, trust me." He leaned back against the door, worried he'd fall over himself. "I'm here if you need me."

"Promise?" Iruka asked, still not moving away, as though he was afraid Kakashi would disappear if he let him go.

"Promise.

------

Ibiki had been surprisingly absent the first week, and Kakashi was beginning to wonder if the man would ever show up. Or, if he'd have to push Iruka into going to find him. Then, while he and Iruka were chatting at the gate, as they waited for Yamato and the kids to return from a short mission, Ibiki showed up.

"He's here," Kakashi said, leaning over to whisper in the chunin's ear so that Izumo and Kotetsu, who were on gate duty, wouldn't overhear. Iruka frowned and looked up at him. "You should go talk to him." The frown deepened.

"I don't want to." The statement was calm, but the copy-nin didn't miss the way Iruka's eyes darted to where Ibiki stood watching them.

"You'll be fine, Iru-koi." He kept the words quiet, aware they had an audience. The back of his neck prickled, although he wasn't sure if it was because Ibiki was glaring at him, or because of the way Kotetsu and Izumo were trying to 'subtlely' watch. Not that they'd be able to hear the conversation at this distance, but still.

"Fine," Iruka sighed. "Just..." A light blush lit the scared cheeks. "Promise you won't get lost."

"I promise." Then, he slipped back into the conversational tone they'd been using previous to Ibiki's arrival. "I'll let Naruto and Sakura know you had something to take care of, and that you'll see them later."

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei. I'll see you later." As Iruka turned to walk away, his hand brushed Kakashi's lightly. The copy-nin smiled at the subtle, yet glaringly obvious, excuse for contact.

------

It had been well over two hours since Iruka had left to talk with Ibiki, and nearly an hour since he'd made his excuses to his team. Kakashi paced back and forth in his apartment, trying to ignore the way his insides were twisted into a thousand knots. He wasn't even sure if Iruka would come over before he went to meet the kids. He just known there was no way he'd be able to keep from fidgetting, so he'd left.

Kakashi about jumped out of his skin when he heard the first knock on his door, and he was across the room before the third landed. He took a deep breath and then pulled the door open.

"Iruka-sensei," he smiled, forcing the words to sound calmer than he felt.

"Come in." The chunin stepped in and headed to the couch without a word. Kakashi shut the door and pulled down his mask before joining the brunette on the couch.

Iruka sighed, shaking his head, and the jounin wondered if that was a sign things hadn't gone well. "I'm so glad that's over." The words didn't really clear up Kakashi's anxiety.

"How did it go?" He watched for some clue that would hint at what he wanted to know.
Iruka looked exhausted but otherwise gave nothing away with his expression.

"We had lunch, which didn't really go so well since neither of us spoke more than a dozen words the entire time. Then, we went to his apartment and had tea."

The knot in Kakashi's chest tightened. "Hai." He waited for Iruka to continue.

"That went a little better. I appologized, he appologized, and it was generally very awkward." The copy-nin slammed down on the urge to ask if they'd gotten back together, partly because he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Finally, Iruka continued, "And then, I told him I'd like to stay friends but that..." The chunin ran a hand over his hair, still not really looking at him. "That I was in love with someone else." Iruka finally turned to look at him, and Kakashi stared back unable to actually form a coherent thought. "He said he already knew. He could tell by the way I looked at you."

Kakashi opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He'd spent so much time preparing himself for Iruka to say he was still in love with Ibiki, or for the chunin to fall apart when the relationship officially ended, that he wasn't sure what to say, so he sat there slack jawed and blinking.

"I understand." Iruka said after a moment, looking away. "Can we still be friends, Kakashi?"

He finally managed to pull his thoughts together when the chunin looked away, and scooted next to Iruka, drawing the man's attention again. Iruka opened his mouth to say something, but, before the words could leave his mouth, Kakashi leaned forward and pressed his lips to the chunin's. His eyes closed, and he slid a hand behind Iruka's head, deepening the kiss for a moment before breaking it. Kakashi rested his forehead against Iruka's and smiled. "I love you, too, Iru-koi."

A smile spread across the brunette's face before Iruka planted another quick kiss on his lips. "Good."

The knots in Kakashi's stomach disappeared to be replaced by an entire flock of butterflies, and he decided he liked them a lot better. He pulled the chunin onto his lap and kissed him again, relishing the taste of Iruka's lips.

Pulling away slightly, Iruka swatted his leg and scowled at him. "That's for leaving me sitting there thinking you didn't feel the same for a good five minutes."

"You're much cuter as a sadist than a masochist you know," he teased. "It suits you."

Iruka blushed, averting his eyes slightly. "You deserved it. You could have at least given me some kind of clue that you liked me, you know." The chunin's voice fell slightly. "All those times we... you didn't even..." Iruka looked at him again, the hurt evident in his eyes. "You never responded to any of it. I thought you didn't..." The younger man swallowed audibly but didn't look away this time. "I thought you didn't want me."

"Oh, koi, I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to." He brushed Iruka's cheek with the back of his hand. "I just... all that was about focusing on you, and I didn't want my own desires confusing that. I wanted to give you a chance to figure out what you wanted, without having to worry about what anyone else wanted, myself included."

Understanding lit the chunin's eyes, and the man leaned forward and kissed him lightly. "Don't ever do that again," Iruka murmured a hairs breadth from his lips before kissing him again. "I want to know what you like, what you want," he said, pulling away again. "I love you, so what you want is just as important as what I want." A smile spread across Iruka's face. "You should know that; after all, you're the one who taught me that. So... promise?"

"I promise," Kakashi said as he pulled Iruka's lips against his again, deciding he'd never get enough of Iruka's kisses.

[4.] For anyone who doesn't get it, Naruto is trying to be nice and pretend things are the way they were to make Iruka more comfortable.