Teach Me To Love You

Title: Teach Me To Love You
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: T for now, will go up
Summary: Kakashi had never been anything else than what had been expected of him. And nobody had ever expected him to be human. So how could Iruka even want to be near him? How could he say he loved him?
Spoilers: Spoilers for Kakashi Gaiden and very slight ones for the events before the time-skip.
Status: Chapter 10 of 15
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

Teach Me To Love You
by nayru-kleinefee


Chapter 10 – No piddling on Iruka’s carpet.

“Mission report Hatake Kakashi.”

“Ah, you’re back.” Tsunade looked up from her papers and smiled. “Iruka-sensei will be happy.”

“M-hm.” Kakashi nodded, smiling back under his mask. He hadn’t been able to think about anything else on his way back to the village than of how happy he would make Iruka just by coming back, by being there, by simply being Kakashi. It was… strange still to know all of that, but he became more familiar with it every day. And it felt warm and safe and… and… just… just like it probably should feel to be Kakashi who was with Iruka.

“You’ve got yourself a feisty one, you know that?” The Sannin grinned at him.

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

“Well…” She examined her nails calmly. “I so happened to see him talk with Anko yesterday. She asked him to let her take a better look on the mask of you he’s been wearing around his neck every day since you had to leave. Cute, that, by the way. He denied.”

“Oh.” Kakashi knew that Iruka had wanted to keep a mask of him for the time while he’d had to be away on the mission. In return, Kakashi had gotten a shirt from the Chuunin to help him sleep.

“And when I say that he denied…” Tsunade smirked. “I mean that he told her something along the lines of ‘Anko, my dear friend, you know I really, really like you and I care about you being perfectly fine and I would never wish you any kind of harm, but if you ever only dare to touch this my mask that my boyfriend gave me, I will make you regret it because that’s my mask and my boyfriend!’ ”

“Oh.” Kakashi’s eyes widened.

“And that was even before she started whining about only wanting to look at it and maybe touch it a tiny little bit.” The Sannin seemed to enjoy herself immensely. “I didn’t completely get what he said to her then, only something about industrial dye, an alligator and rice pudding, but judging from the way she went from white to green in her face, he was rather… persuasive.”

“Oh.” He knew Iruka could be very possessive sometimes when he thought that other people showed too much interest in him. He wasn’t sure what to make of it, but somehow it made him feel good. It was another of those I-am-Kakashi-and-I-am-with-Iruka things he didn’t understand completely but didn’t want to miss ever again either.

“Perhaps you should tell him that you love him more often”, Tsunade suggested. “Maybe he stops threatening my shinobi then.”

“That… I…” Kakashi fidgeted.

“Kakashi… Have you told him that you love him yet?”

“I… I don’t know… I mean, I don’t know if I love him…”, the Jounin murmured.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Tsunade groaned. “What’s there to doubt?!”

“I… I don’t know how it feels…” He sighed, a little embarrassed, a little confused, a little sad. “I want to love him, but I don’t know how it feels. And he asked me not to say it unless I’m sure.” He looked up at his Hokage. “How does it feel?”, he asked softly. Maybe she knew?

“I… that…” The Sannin seemed to be at a loss of words for a moment. “You can’t describe that”, she told him finally.

“But how shall I know then?”

“You… you…” Tsunade sighed. “Look, Kakashi. If you love somebody, you’re… you can’t think of anybody else except that special person.”

“But I think of many people”, he muttered sadly. “Of you right now and of my targets or clients when I’m on a mission and-”

“That’s not the same”, the Sannin growled, glaring. “Are you so dense or are you just trying to rile me up?”

“I’m not trying to rile you up”, Kakashi assured hastily.

“Dense it is then.” Tsunade glared even more heatedly. “Look, think about what I said. I know it’s mostly a rather sappy description, but there’s some truth behind it, believe me.”

Kakashi just stared at her, completely confused now.

“Out”, the Sannin growled. “Go to your Iruka and think about what I said.” She snorted. “Some genius, really.”

He hastily made an exit. He would just ask Iruka about it.

*****

“Iruka? Iruka, I’m back”, Kakashi called softly into the Chuunin’s apartment, closing the door behind himself. He’d received a key to the apartment when he’d been taking care of Iruka and then the Chuunin had offered him to keep it instead of always having to knock at the window. Or to pick the lock of the door. Iruka hadn’t really enjoyed that.

“Iruka?” He peeked into the bedroom and bathroom but had to find that the apartment was empty. He felt a little twitch of sadness and a big twitch of disappointment at that. He’d been so looking forward to seeing Iruka again. All the way back he’d been making plans of what to do with Iruka the moment he would be back, like kissing and cuddling and talking and hair-stroking and… and… and being Kakashi with Iruka.

With a sigh, he let his body fall onto the couch, but immediately jumped up again when he heard a key click in the lock. Carefully feeling out with his chakra, he identified the presence outside as Iruka and also confirmed that he was alone. Yay! He grinned happily and pulled down his mask while he approached the door on silent feet.

“Stupid bag…”, he heard Iruka mutter under his breath the moment the door opened and the Chuunin stepped inside, not noticing him. Instead he looked, more glared at a paper bag in his arms and kicked the door shut. “Don’t you dare to rip now, we almost made it…” He bent down and placed the thing on the floor. “There you go. Good bag. I’m proud of you. Mission completed and all that, ne?”

“Hey”, Kakashi called softly.

“Gah!” Iruka jumped and immediately fell into a defensive crouch but then froze when he caught sight of the Copy-nin.

“I’m ba-” Kakashi couldn’t speak further, let alone wanted to, because there suddenly was a quite enthusiastic Chuunin plastered against his chest. He grinned happily and embraced his boyfriend, intending to kiss him, but again Iruka was faster and pressed their lips together, and then-

Kakashi’s eyes widened and he gasped when suddenly a warm, moist tongue was pressed against his lips, then slid in between them and started to stroke his own. He blinked, trying to process what was happening. He had Iruka’s tongue in his mouth… And Iruka seemed to have put it there on purpose… And he didn’t seem to want to take it back… And that… that was… it felt… it felt…

Suddenly Iruka froze against him, then immediately let go and jumped back. “I… I…”, he stammered. “I’m sorry! I didn’t… I… I mean, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t want to surprise you. I’m just… I mean, I’m sorry if you didn’t like it and-”

Kakashi felt the Chuunin tense against him when he drew him close again and pressed their lips together hungrily. He didn’t know whether he was supposed to or how that was possible, but he’d liked to have Iruka’s tongue in his mouth. It had felt… had felt a little weird maybe and foreign at first, but at the same time tingly and… so good.

When Iruka didn’t do anything to repeat his actions, Kakashi carefully parted his lips and mirrored what the Chuunin had done before. He pressed the tip of his tongue onto his lips and when he found no resistance, let it slip into Iruka’s mouth, searching for that feeling he’d experienced before. For a short moment nothing happened, no reciprocation came, but then Iruka finally relaxed against him and moved his tongue to stroke against the Jounin’s, and that was it, that was what he’d searched for. So, so good.

“Is it supposed to feel so good?”, he whispered incredulously when he reluctantly parted with Iruka to breathe again. He would have to breathe through his nose the next time instead of holding his breath. Tricky that, but he wasn’t a Jounin for nothing.

“Wha’d’yousay?”, Iruka breathed, and Kakashi chuckled when he saw that the Chuunin’s eyes were slightly glazed and hazy.

“Feels good”, he whispered. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?” Very much sooner. Like… since the first night he’d spent in Iruka’s bed. That would have been at least almost soon enough.

“Don’t know.” Iruka smirked suddenly. “I wanted to but I thought you might run away once I pounce on you. Or stick me so full of kunai I’d look like a porcupine afterwards.” And before Kakashi could answer, he let actions follow and kissed him until the Jounin was clinging to him because his shaking knees threatened to give in.

“Mrngl?”, he asked intelligently when he thought that Iruka had asked something. Wow, standing was trickier than he’d always thought it was. And breathing… now that was hard. Not to talk of thinking…

“I asked if it is alright with you that we do this more often from now on”, Iruka repeated slowly, smirking.

Kakashi just grabbed him and claimed his lips again. Standing, breathing, thinking and also talking… who needed that anyway?

***** ***** *****

He knew he was worrying Iruka, he knew that he was hurting Iruka even by refusing to talk. But still he couldn’t get himself to open his mouth and talk about what had happened. About how he’d almost died on the mission, about how he’d only been barely able to save himself by using the chakra-sealing jutsu he’d learned from Iruka. About how much the thought that he could make Iruka sad by dying had frightened him more than anything else ever had.

“Kakashi…”, he heard the Chuunin whisper while tender hands stroked over his hair. “Everything’s fine… you’re safe now…”

Kakashi could only make a low whimper and tighten his hold around him.

A kiss on his temple. “I love you, Kakashi.”

And the Jounin felt better.

***** ***** *****

“You are aware that he’s going to kill you, aren’t you?”, Pakkun asked.

“He’s not”, Kakashi murmured.

“He is.” The pug eyed the bundle in his master’s arms. “He’ll not like that.”

“But he said we could have one…” Kakashi held his small present protectively.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean one of those.”

“Why not?” The Jounin pouted. “It’s nice. And it’s not boring. And no cat.”

“And I thank the Big Bone that it isn’t.” Pakkun snorted. “But still. That thing is… it’s…”

“It’s not a thing.” Kakashi cradled his cargo more securely in his arms. “And he’ll like it.”

“I highly doubt that, boss.”

“He will. Iruka likes every person who’s nice.” Even him.

“It’s not a person.”

“You know what I mean”, Kakashi growled.

“But I don’t.”

“Iruka!” The Jounin whirled around to the front door of the apartment. “You’re back early.”

“I hurried because I knew you were due back.” Iruka quickly walked over to him and opened his arms to embrace him.

“Careful!” Kakashi hastily shifted the bundle in his arms so it wouldn’t get smashed between their bodies.

“Hm?” Iruka frowned. “What’s that?”

“Oh. It’s…” Kakashi felt nervousness pool inside him. What if Iruka told him to get rid of it? What should he do then?

“It’s the boss’ new pet”, Pakkun threw in icily.

“Your new…” Iruka closed his eyes and sighed. “You bought a pet? Without at least telling me first?”

“I didn’t buy it”, Kakashi told him hastily. “Or… at least not really.” Uh-oh, his boyfriend didn’t look happy at all.

“What is it?”

“It’s… you know… it’s not a cat. It’s…” Kakashi sighed and carefully peeled the blanket from his precious cargo. Immediately, the tiny snout peeked out from under it, sniffling excitedly into Iruka’s direction.

“Oh my…” The Chuunin’s eyes widened. “Is that…”

“Yes.” Pakkun snorted. “Pink, hairy, grunting, snout like a wall socket. It’s a pig.”

“It’s a mini-pig”, Kakashi corrected. “It won’t get much bigger than Pakkun, I swear.” He looked at his boyfriend pleadingly. “Can we keep it? Please?”

“Kakashi…” Iruka still looked at the small piglet. “A pig… I don’t know…”

“But it can’t go back!”, Kakashi told him. “They didn’t treat it well at the farm!”

“Kakashi, you know that pigs are held to be food for us humans. You might not like it, but it’s just the case that they’re kept in a pigsty and-”

“But that’s not it!” The Jounin clutched the piglet to his chest, then peeled the blanket further away, revealing a big bruise on its left side. “Look! They hurt it! I saw it!”

“They…” Iruka carefully reached out to gently stroke over the piglet’s side, his eyes narrowing angrily at the sight. “They hurt it? On purpose?”

“Yes.” Kakashi slowly rocked the squirming pig. “On my way back here I came by a farm and I wanted to buy apples for you and then I saw it.” He looked at the small animal. “It was digging in a muddy puddle with its snout and then the farmer’s son came out and suddenly kicked it.”

“What?!” Iruka looked at him in shock. “He kicked it? Just like that?”

“Yes!” Kakashi nodded. “And I wanted to go and tell him that he couldn’t do that but the farmer told me that it would be alright since the piglet wasn’t good for anything. He said that it had been a present for his son but he hadn’t wanted it and now he wouldn’t care about it at all, just wait for it to die because he’d decided not to feed it.” He carefully stroked over the pig’s back. “Because it was too small to eat it and feeding it would be a waste of money, he said…”

“Oh, Kakashi…” Iruka embraced him. “That’s horrible.”

“I know…” The Jounin snuggled his face against him. “And that’s why I told the farmer that he could keep his apples but that I wanted the piglet instead. I didn’t want it to die…” It hadn’t been the same as if two humans had fought one another because, no matter how cruel that could become, he knew that. It had been a human against this little piglet who’d never done anything to harm anybody. It had been so small, so alone, so helpless against those bigger and stronger. He’d instantly thought about how sad Iruka would have been about it and had just felt forced to help.

“I understand.” Iruka tenderly kissed his temple.

“He’s a he”, Kakashi told him. “And his name’s Cookie. Because I only had a travel ration with oat cookies left to feed him and he liked them a lot. Or maybe he was just starved, but… he ate many cookies, really. Although I think he’ll like your apple pancakes even more.” He looked up at his boyfriend. “Can we keep him?”

Iruka sighed. “I don’t know how to take care of a pig…”

“We can ask Tsunade.” Kakashi tried to position Cookie so he looked as small, cute and harmless as possible. “Can we keep him?”

“And then end up with a bratty little diva like Ton-Ton?” Iruka shook his head. “I’ll rather consult books.”

“Does that mean we can keep him?”, Kakashi asked hopefully, lifting Cookie up so the Chuunin could see him even better. “He wants to stay here. He wants to have your apple pancakes. I’m even willing to share them. A little. Can we keep him?”

Iruka sighed once again, then carefully took the piglet out of the Jounin’s hands. “If you do the potty training.”

“Yes!” Kakashi jumped up out of sheer joy. “Yes!”

“I can’t believe it…”, Pakkun murmured. “A pig.”

“But you can’t take every animal you find with you here, okay?” Iruka lifted Cookie up to his face and smiled at him. “Not even if they’re treated badly and so very cute that it should be illegal.”

“I didn’t plan to at first.” Kakashi gently embraced his boyfriend. “I originally planned to take him to another farm and ask them to take care of him. I know I can’t just take every animal I find to the apartment with me.” There would soon be not enough space left for him anymore then, and he definitely couldn’t let that happen.

“Why did you change your mind then?”, Iruka asked, nuzzling his nose against Cookie’s and making the piglet squeak happily.

“I had to search for almost half an hour until I finally found him in his hideout.” Kakashi nuzzled his nose into the Chuunin’s neck. “He was so terrified, didn’t even want me to come near him. He even bit me when I tried to grab him.”

“I can understand that…” Iruka sighed. “Humans aren’t good creatures, no matter what they think of themselves. Most of the time we are horrible, horrible beings.” He took a step back and sat down on the couch, Cookie and the blanket on his lap. “Did you take him here because you were impressed of his hiding and fighting abilities?” He chuckled. “Are you a nin-pig, Cookie, hm?”

Cookie grunted and snuggled against the Chuunin’s stomach. Kakashi decided immediately that he was a smart piglet for realising that Iruka’s stomach was a perfect place to snuggle up to.

“That wasn’t why I took him with me.” He smiled and sat down next to them. “He still had mud on his snout, you know. Here.” He gently trailed his finger over the pig’s snout. “He looked a lot like you.” He moved the same finger to follow the scar on his boyfriend’s face.

“You’re weird…” Iruka chuckled softly. “I like it.” He smiled at the Jounin. “I love you.”

“Want to love you.” Kakashi kissed him.

“Congratulations”, Pakkun snorted from the floor, “it’s a pig.”

“Pigs aren’t bad, Pakkun”, Iruka admonished mildly. “They’re very intelligent and clean animals. And very gentle and keen.”

“It’s a pig.” The pug shook his head. “Named Cookie.”

“Don’t listen to him, Cookie.” Iruka tickled the piglet’s stomach. “He’s just jealous that you’re so cute.”

“I don’t want to be cute”, Pakkun growled darkly.

“And that you’re allowed to sit on my lap right now. Sooo jealous.” Iruka grinned at Cookie.

“I’m jealous, too”, Kakashi decided. “I want to sit on your lap.”

“You want to sit on Cookie?!”, Iruka gasped in mock-shock. “Cookie! Run before Kakashi Butt of Doom sits on you!”

The Jounin laughed. “I can have Cookie sit on my lap”, he offered.

“Hmmm…” Iruka frowned deeply. “I think… I think Cookie and I can agree to that.” He grinned.

“Perfect.” Kakashi carefully took the piglet from his boyfriend’s lap, then sat down there instead and leaned his side against his chest, Cookie cradled securely between them.

“Want to join?”, Iruka offered to Pakkun.

“I…” The pug eyed Cookie blankly. “Not beside that.” A puff of smoke and he was gone.

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi murmured. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“I think he’s jealous that we pay so much attention to Cookie.” Iruka sighed. “And I guess he’s afraid that he’ll be second row from now on.”

“But he’s my most valuable nin-dog!” Kakashi shook his head. “I know him since… since before I even became Genin. I will never want to replace him. He’s my…” He blinked when he suddenly realised something. “He’s more than a nin-dog. He’s my friend.”

“I know.” Iruka took his hand gently. “I know, shh. He’ll see that soon, believe me.”

*****

“It’s piddling on your boyfriend’s carpet”, Pakkun announced dryly.

“Wha- No! Cookie!” Kakashi hurried out of the kitchen towards the shocked piglet. “Bad Cookie”, he admonished, just as Iruka had told him to, while he crouched down to mop up the small puddle. “No piddling on Iruka’s carpet. I told you to wait until I’m going for a walk with you.”

“I really doubt it’s able to understand you.” Pakkun snorted. “Doesn’t seem smart enough.”

“He is”, Kakashi contradicted. “And stop calling him an ‘it’. He’s got a name, just like you and-” He stopped and frowned. “Pakkun?”

“What?” The pug made a step back warily.

“Do you think… do you think Cookie understands you better than me?”

“I’m not a pig”, Pakkun hissed icily.

“I didn’t want to say that”, Kakashi growled. “It’s just… other summons and also animals seem to understand what you’re telling them. Remember that horse in Water?” Stupid, mean thing had only stopped trying to bite his hands off after Pakkun had had a word with it.

“I refuse to talk with a pig.”

“You talked with frogs. And squirrels. And once with that cow.”

“But that… well…” The pug scowled at him. “Don’t think this is going to become a habit…” And with that, he stalked over to Cookie who regarded him carefully. “Listen, you… Cookie. That loud, nervous human there? That’s your boss.”

Cookie grunted questioningly.

“Okay, okay.” Pakkun rolled his eyes. “He is one of the bosses, okay? That other human, Iruka, is the other boss.”

Cookie made something that sounded like, ‘Gra-ouiiiek?’

Pakkun blinked, then turned his head towards his master, smirking. “He thinks your boyfriend is your boss, therefore his boss-boss. The alpha-male, so to say.”

“But…” Kakashi frowned, then shrugged. “Just get on with it.” After all, there was a certain kind of truth behind that…

Still smirking, Pakkun turned back towards Cookie. When the small piglet grunted happily, he immediately went back to scowling. “Okay… pig.” He snorted. “Listen. The boss wants you not to piddle in the apartment, meaning here, alright? And no big business either. He’ll go outside with you so you can take care of it there, okay? Understood?”

“You could be nicer”, Kakashi told him when Cookie looked at the pug sadly and confusedly. “He’s still almost a baby.”

“I don’t give a flying- Aah!”, Pakkun yelled, eyes wide in horror. “It’s slobbering me! It’s eating my ear!”

“He’s kissing you”, Kakashi explained, grinning like a madman. “I think he likes you.” If the excited, happy wagging of Cookie’s small, curled tail was any indication. “Maybe he decided that you’re his bigge- his older brother now and wants to cheer you up.”

“No! No! I’ll not-”

“Take it like a man”, Kakashi just said. “And men don’t squeak.”

“But he’s… he’s… You’ll pay for that, boss.”

*****

“Isn’t this nice?”, Iruka whispered, then went on humming.

“Mmmmrrrrrh…” Kakashi shifted to better place his head on his boyfriend’s stomach, careful not to throw Cookie from his own in the process. When he saw Pakkun lying on the floor and scowling, he motioned for him to join them on the couch.

“Not. Interested”, the pug told him but his eyes told differently.

“Please join us, Pakkun”, Iruka coaxed. “I would like to have as many of my precious people as I can here with me.”

“Your…” The dog’s eyes widened.

“Me too”, Kakashi said softly although his heart was beating loudly in his chest. “Come here so I can have Iruka, you and Cookie all at once.”

“But… I…” Pakkun sighed. “Only because Iruka asked me. I’m not coming for the- for Cookie. He’s just… he just happens to be there, too.”

“That’s fine”, Iruka whispered. “We know.”

“I’m not coming for him and- He’s slobbering me again!”, Pakkun complained, already sitting on the Copy-nin’s stomach. “And now he’s… he’s…”

“He wants to snuggle with you”, Kakashi murmured. “Stop whining, there’s not enough stomach for you to sit far away from him. I’m not an Akamichi.”

“But he’s all warm! Too warm! And he’s wagging his tail against me!” Pakkun sounded… pouting rather than annoyed or angry, Kakashi noticed.

“You’re always complaining when it’s cold on missions.” He yawned. “Enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it?”, Pakkun grumped, then continued murmuring darkly.

Kakashi still noticed that he shifted closer to Cookie. Heh…

*****

“A camera!” Iruka came hurrying into the bedroom. “Where’s the camera?!” He started digging in his cupboard.

“What’s up?” Kakashi frowned at his boyfriend. Iruka looked excited.

“Come! But shh!” The Chuunin sniggered, his camera in his hands. “It’s so cute!” He quickly walked back into the living room.

Kakashi followed, still frowning, until he caught sight of what had excited his boyfriend so much. A smirk built itself on his face.

“Isn’t this cute?!” Iruka took a second photo, then a third and fourth.

“I’ll never let him live that down”, Kakashi announced, still smirking at the scene in front of him. “Never.” But he had to admit that it indeed looked cute to see Pakkun sound asleep and curled protectively around an also sleeping Cookie.

***** ***** *****

“I distract them and you run with him, boss”, Pakkun murmured. “They seem… calm now but I think that’s going to change soo-”

“Oh my god!” Anko.

Kakashi took a step back.

“Look at that!” Genma.

Kakashi held Cookie closer to his chest while Pakkun positioned himself between them and the two squealing humans.

“So cuuuuuuute!” Genma.

Kakashi quickly covered the piglet’s ears, mourning his lack of a second pair of hands for his own ears.

“A piggy!” Anko. “Kakashi’s got a piggy!”

“You won’t get him”, the Jounin sternly told them in advance. “He’s afraid of you.” He should have insisted on Iruka staying and helping him, he really should have. But how should he have known that two Jounin would turn into creepy, squealing… monsters once they caught sight of Cookie?

“He’s not!” Genma shook his head vigorously. “I wanna hold him!”

“No.” Kakashi wrapped the blanket tighter around Cookie to hide him from their greedy stares.

“So not a good idea, boss”, Pakkun murmured.

“I wannaaaa!”

“Genma, stop whining.” Raidou shook his head. “Kakashi’s right. You’ll probably squeeze him too much.”

“I won’t!” The Special Jounin stomped with his foot. “I won’t!”

“Me neither!” Anko made a grab for the blanket.

“No.” Kakashi jumped away quickly, highly aware of her long, sharp fingernails. A short look confirmed that Cookie was alright and watching the three new humans with something between slight fear and morbid fascination.

“Genma.” Raidou held his boyfriend back when he tried to get his hands on the small pig once again. “Calm down, will you? I’m sure Kakashi will let you touch him once you’ve stopped acting like an idiot.”

“Maybe”, the Copy-nin murmured.

“I’d say not”, Pakkun announced.

“May I pet him?”, Anko asked hopefully, visibly shaking from the effort to stand still and behave. “Only a little?”

Kakashi eyed her suspiciously. “Maybe a little. But no trying to grab him.”

“I won’t”, the kunoichi promised, then slowly reached out with her hand and carefully stroked over Cookie’s forehead with the tip of one finger. “He’s so warm”, she murmured. “And so soft…”

“I want, too.” Genma inched closer and carefully mirrored her actions under Kakashi’s stern gaze. “He’s so tiny.”

“He’ll get bigger.” Kakashi allowed himself to relax a little. “About the size of a cat I was told.”

“How did Iruka react?”, Raidou asked.

“He said that Cookie could stay if I do the potty training and if he sleeps in the living room once he’s feeling familiar with the apartment.” Kakashi hesitated for a moment, then decided that at least Raidou was safe for the piglet and carefully handed Cookie over to him under Pakkun’s stern gaze. “Right now he’s sleeping in a basket next to the bed.”

“Ah.” Raidou looked at Cookie. “You’re a lucky little piglet, you know that?”, he murmured. “You couldn’t have found yourself better parents than Kakashi and Iruka. But in exchange I want you to be nice to them and make sure they stay alright and happy, okay?”

Cookie grunted seriously, looking the scarred Jounin right into his eyes.

“Smart Cookie.” Raidou grinned at him.

***** ***** *****

“A piglet!”

Kakashi just barely managed to jump through the window into Iruka’s classroom, snatch Cookie and his boyfriend and jutsu all three of them to the back of the room before they could get stomped over by a horde of children. “I told you”, he admonished.

“I didn’t expect them to be quite that enthusiastic…” Iruka watched his students wide-eyed while they seemed to search for the piglet and their teacher in the front of the room. He frowned. “And I expected them to be smarter when they search for somebody…”

“I guess I should take him to the apartment.” Kakashi gently took the frightened piglet from his boyfriend’s hands.

“Let’s try once again.” Iruka smiled at him. “I only want to show him to them, afterwards you can take him with you, alright?” He kissed the Jounin softly. “Don’t worry, Cookie, you’ve got the best bodyguard in town.”

“Why do you want to show him to them anyway?”, Kakashi sighed.

“Because I’m sure that most of the kids living inside the village have never seen a real pig.” Iruka smiled a little. “Neither a cow or a sheep. It’s kind of sad…”

“You’re right.” Kakashi reassuringly rubbed his back, then took a deep breath. “Come on, Cookie, we’ve got a mission. Show them what a real pig is.”

***** ***** *****

Cold. He was so cold. Cold. Numb. Lifeless. Bloody. Tired. So tired of everything. So cold. His hands were stained with blood. He’d killed. He felt so cold. Everything was so dark.

Streets. People. Houses. One house. The house. Stairs. A door. Keys, he had keys. But he shouldn’t go here. He didn’t belong here. He was too cold, too dark, too numb than to be allowed to be here. He wasn’t worth being let in, wasn’t worth being here, he wasn’t-

“Kakashi.” Brown eyes. Tired. Worried.

He blinked. But he wasn’t Kakashi, not the Kakashi Iruka wanted. He was Sharingan Kakashi. He’d killed. As he was supposed to. As he was there to. As was his only purpose in this thing he called life for the lack of a better name.

“Kakashi, please.” A smile. Hands reaching for him.

“Why do you even bother with me?”, he asked softly. Longing. He longed for those hands, for the warmth. But he shouldn’t. He wasn’t worth any of it.

“Why I bother with you?” The smile became softer. A hand was held out for him. “Take my hand, Kakashi.”

He reached out. Saw his hands. Stained. Bloody. He shouldn’t touch Iruka like this. He turned around, into the kitchen. Water. Crusted gloves off, sleeves up, cleaning. Washing away the visible blood. Not to stain Iruka. Then he turned around, went back, carefully took the offered hand in both of his. Careful, had to be careful. Not hurt Iruka, never hurt Iruka.

“This is why, Kakashi.”

He blinked. Looked up.

“This is why I ‘bother’ with you. This is why I love you.” Iruka smiled. “One of the whys. It’s the way you treat me. You treat me as if I was special and precious. You treat me as an equal and also as your most important person. You allow me to come close to you, even if you’re hurt and fragile like now. You…” He swallowed and blinked. “You let me close enough to share your laughter, your light and your warmth but also your fear, your pain and your darkness. I love you for all of this.”

“I don’t understand…”

“You do.” Iruka chuckled. “You’re just too tired right now. Come to bed with me, hm?”

“Yes”, he whispered. “I… I want that.” He allowed Iruka to lead him to the bedroom, to undress him and clean him with a warm washcloth, then he sank onto the bed.

“Come here.” Arms pulled him close and a warm body moved until he was lying beneath it. “Let me shield you tonight, Kakashi”, Iruka whispered. “I won’t let anything or anybody get to you. I won’t allow it.”

And Kakashi slept.

***** ***** *****

Kakashi jumped up onto a tree branch in front of the window to Iruka’s classroom, settled himself and Cookie in a blanket around his waist down and got ready for watching his boyfriend teach. Aaand he had provisions. Life was good. Life was very-

“I knew I’d find you here. Stalker-pervert.”

-unfair. “Genma.”

“You look cheery today.” The Special Jounin smirked. “Anything you wanna tell me? Hey, Cookie.”

Kakashi just looked at him blankly. He had three of Iruka’s apple pancakes in the small plastic box in his hands, leftovers from breakfast. But he so wouldn’t tell Genma about them.

“Gen, stop annoying him.” Raidou jumped up to sit down on the Copy-nin’s other side.

“Awww, Rai…” Genma pouted. “I’m just trying to- Hey, what’s in that box?”

“Nothing.” Kakashi clutched it harder.

“Aw, come on… Tell me!” Genma tried to snatch it, but Kakashi wasn’t a Jounin for nothing.

“Gen, stop that.” Raidou sighed. “I told you not to annoy him and just invite him.”

“For what?”, Kakashi asked.

Raidou smiled. “It’s my birthday next Sunday. We’re celebrating it at my family’s house, as every year, and I would like you and Iruka to come. And Cookie if he wants.”

“Oh. Okay.” He couldn’t remember ever having been at a birthday party. But Iruka would certainly know how to… do that.

“Wonderful.” Raidou smiled. “And please don’t bring any presents, okay? And tell Iruka that, please.”

“You won’t be able to stop him though.” Genma sniggered. “Iruka would never come to a birthday party without a present.”

“Ah.” Kakashi thought about that. A present, hu? But Raidou didn’t want any. Why not? Maybe he was afraid that he wouldn’t like them? Then he would have to think of something that everybody had to like. Wouldn’t be easy since he knew only two things that everybody just had to like. And he wasn’t happy about the thought that he should have to share. But it was a birthday after all…

“Well, we’ll be off then.” Raidou patted his shoulder. “By-”

“Wait.” Kakashi took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he was really doing this. But there was only one thing he could think of that everybody had to like – apart from Iruka and his other precious persons, and he so was not willing to share the Chuunin, Cookie or Pakkun.

“What is it?” Raidou frowned.

“I…” Ignoring his body’s furious screams to stop, he held out his lunchbox to Raidou. “Happy birthday.”

Cookie grunted in shock.

“Oh?” The other Jounin slowly took the box. “But it isn’t my birthday yet.”

“But I… I have them now…”, Kakashi forced out. And once he would let his mind fully register what he was doing, he couldn’t be sure to still be able to do it. But it was the only thing he could give away if he wanted and that everybody just had to like.

“Oh.” Raidou carefully opened the box, then his eyes widened. “Are those… Iruka’s?!”

“M-hm…” Kakashi couldn’t look at his lost treasure and instead tried to calm an indignant Cookie down. “Happy… early birthday…”

“Genma…” Raidou looked at his lover with wide eyes.

“Damn…” The Special Jounin took his senbon from his mouth. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re trying to take my Rai from me, Hatake…”

“It’s… it’s a present…”

“Thank you”, Raidou said softly. “Thank you, Kakashi, that’s…” He laughed shakily. “Anko won’t believe me if I tell her…”

“She doesn’t have birthday soon, too, or does she?”, Kakashi asked carefully.

“Don’t think so…” Genma laughed softly.

“Wanna share?”, Raidou offered, took one pancake and handed the box over to the Copy-nin. “One for each of us? And some nibbles for Cookie?”

“Okay…” Kakashi took one, rolled it up and gave Genma the last. “They’re even better when they’re warm. Want me to use a jutsu?”

“Yes, please.” Raidou smiled. “That would be-”

“Kakashi!”, Iruka’s voice rang towards them suddenly. “Come here for a second, okay?”

The Jounin hurried to jump onto the windowsill of his boyfriend’s classroom. “Yes?”

“Three things.” Iruka grinned at him and obviously completely ignored his students grinning and giggling behind his back. “First, give me a bite?”

“Okay.” Kakashi held out his pancake for his boyfriend. He would give Iruka everything, even his apple pancakes.

“Mank myou”, Iruka mumbled, chewing. “Mecond…” He swallowed. “Second, you really should be a little quieter out there, I could hear every word.”

“Oh.” Kakashi scratched the back of his head. “Sorry.”

“And third…” Iruka wrapped his arms around his neck and gave him a long kiss. “I love you so, so, sooo much”, he whispered afterwards over his students’ giggling. “And I will make you a load of pancakes for dinner today. A mountain of apple pancakes. All for you.”

***** ***** *****

tbc

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

Nayru