Bitch Nights

A/N: Whew! It was a hell of a long haul on this one. It ended up being super-long(20 pages!!!). Sorry for the wait, guys. I give myself HUGE props for posting ON A FRIDAY!!!

And over 10,000 hits?!? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I never thought my little plot-bunny would be so popular!

On that note, though, I do have a small mini-rant at the bottom. It’s mostly taken directly from my Myspace blog, so if you were one of the ones that read it, feel free to skip it.

For right now, I’d simply like to make this one point: This is my fic. It's whatever I (or my muses) want it to be. And it's NOT a harem fic, thank you very much. The reason a lot of the pairings tend to revolve around Sakura is because (if anyone cared to notice), it's mostly from Sakura's POV. If there's stuff going on outside the realm of her knowledge, it's not getting written. However, that's not to say that it's not happening.

I will only write 3rd person omniscient if it is absolutely necessary. Unless it is, I either stick with 3rd person limited or 1st person. My skillz are not that mad.

That being said, thank you to everyone who was supportive and loves my fic; you’re the reason I don’t keep this all to myself!

This chapter in particular, is dedicated to Raithe, Feion_Phylar and Jenelle; without their constant support, this chapter would not have happened. I offer them first pick of boy-toys.


Bitch Nights, Chapter 10-Buying pants and Emo-rants


Sakura sighed with annoyance. Somehow, she'd been roped into taking the Uchiha clothes shopping. Not that she didn't like shopping-hell, if Ino were involved, she loved shopping, but hauling Sasuke through the commercial center of Konoha on a Monday afternoon was NOT her idea of fun. Not only had they missed the weekend sales, but it wasn't as busy in the district as it would have been on a Saturday. The fewer people that were about, the more attention they got. Apparently, Sakura all but physically dragging Sasuke into clothing stores while Kakashi ambled along behind, reading his little orange book was a sight worth gawking at, and not even the patented Uchiha Death Glare(minus Sharingan, thankfully) would deter them.

It had to be done, though. At a check through Sasuke's belongings, they'd realized he only had two sets of clothes, both of which were pretty well worn out. Understandable, as he'd been on the run, but it meant he needed to be outfitted.

And apparently, she'd been nominated, simply because "Y'know. You're a girl. You're better at the whole . . . buying shit thing," as Naruto had so eloquently put it.

She'd always hated being left out of things on account of being a girl, but this was both ridiculous and somewhat sexist.

On the bright side, she'd gotten to drag Kakashi along, as well, since he was the current holder of the Uchiha purse strings. That kept Sasuke from talking too much, which was all to the good, since she could just tell he wanted to ask her about Sai and Naruto. She wanted to fuck with him a little more before springing the surprise.

The day previous, Naruto had convinced her to take an extra detour to Ichiraku for a bite (or in Naruto's case, eight) to eat. They'd walked hand in hand the whole way, Naruto pointedly refusing to acknowledge the Uchiha, instead speaking solely to Sakura. For the first time, in spite of the Uchiha's brooding presence, it felt like a real date between them. God knows, Naruto'd asked for years, and sometimes, she'd even gone along with it, but there had always been that 'teammate' barrier between them.

Naruto had actually seemed a little nervous as the three of them sat at the bar. He'd kept brushing their feet together as if to reassure himself that she was really there. Sakura understood. The last few days had been like a dream. Sasuke's return had shaken them all to the core, made them doubt themselves and their resolve to finally let things go. And then, all at once, they were suddenly all tangled together in the middle of her living room, adding a whole other dimension to their relationship. She'd never even kissed Naruto until then; it was as if they were going at their relationship from the other direction.

Still, it was . . . nice. Really nice.

And it was perfect for her devious little plan. In order for Sasuke to be completely taken in by her sadistic scheme, he had to believe something fishy was going on: more specifically, she wanted him to think that she was messing around with each of the boys on the sly, none of them aware of the fact. She'd let Sasuke walk in on her and Sai being overtly sexual because he didn't know the other ninja very well; it would have been easy to pass off flirting as something else. With Naruto, though, she could accomplish the same thing with sheer intimacy: the way she and Naruto shared old jokes, the way she'd sometimes bump shoulders with him when they laughed. Sasuke had been pissed to see Sai's hands on her, but he seemed even more off-balance by the loving companionship between herself and the blonde. She could almost see the wheels turning as he tried to figure out whether they were just being affectionate, or if there was something more going on. And being the prideful man he was, she knew he'd rather die than ask.

After eating(an affair through which Sasuke said not a word, though he watched them closely enough to be irritating), they'd taken the streets back to Sai's place, acting for all the world like a couple in love, until about a block from Sai. At that point, they'd dropped the handholding and added about 6 extra inches between them.

And every time Sasuke had even LOOKED like he wanted to say something, she'd given him a panicked looked that screamed, 'Please, don't mess this up!' It irked her a little, seeing as she'd have rather gone with the 'Fuck this up and DIE!' look, but that wouldn't have conveyed the image of guilt that she wanted.

When they'd arrived, they found Sai and Kakashi both waiting for them, to take over the night shift. Kakashi had graciously invited Sasuke to train with them the next day, and that was when they'd discovered his utter lack of equipment.

Which was why they were here now, running all over Konoha's commercial district. They'd already been to get weaponry, including a new practice blade that resembled Sasuke's (Kakashi wasn't insane enough to return Kusanagi until HE decided the teen had earned their trust back.) He'd needed new kunai pouches, new ninja boots, new arm guards-all of which he was extremely picky about. Luckily, they'd managed to find styles that reasonably mimicked what he'd worn before.

Though they'd 'conveniently' been unable to find rope. Of ANY kind.

Now they were trying to find clothes. They couldn't just buy ninja blacks because Sasuke was, technically, a civilian for the next six months or longer. Impersonating a ninja carried a pretty hefty fine in Konoha. Sasuke couldn’t even wear his old hitae-ate in the city limits. So, they were forced to improvise.

And the little bitch didn't like anything.

Sakura's patience, already tenuous at best, was reaching its limit. If she heard that disdainful 'hn' ONE MORE TIME . . . Mentally counting to thirty as Sasuke grunted his disapproval of yet another store's selection, Sakura took stock of her surroundings. She was surprised to realize that they were only about a block away from her aunt and uncle's shop.

And they sold men's clothes.

"This way!" she commanded, not bothering to check to see if the heavily laden males were following. She was a kunoichi-no, a WOMAN!-on a mission!

The threesome was greeted warmly by Haruno Taro and Sari, who both proudly displayed the Haruno crest on both themselves and their storefront. They fussed over Sakura for a few moments, since she hadn’t seen them in a while, and then made an equal fuss over her 'young man,' to both of their embarrassment. Upon being apprised of what they needed, her aunt had dragged a strangely acquiescent Sasuke off to the men’s racks.

Sakura’s uncle, Taro, had chatted amiably with the remaining two for a moment; he was one of the few in Sakura’s family that didn’t either ignore her profession or act as if she spent her career slitting the throats of innocent children for money. She could STILL see the look on her grandmother’s face as she’d lamented-loudly-about how Tsunade was so much more ruthless, bloodthirsty, money-hungry, etc., etc. than the Sandaime. She’d had to leave, lest she say something to the elder Haruno that she knew she’d regret later.

Needless to say, she didn’t attend family get-togethers very much anymore.

Between questions and answers, she told her uncle what else she wanted (causing Kakashi to give her a very bemused look), and he expertly started piecing together fabric while they talked. When a customer entered the store and asked to speak to both of the owners concerning a special order, he pointed them to the section of the store Sari and Sasuke had disappeared to. Literally, disappeared. The shelves and racks were tall enough to make it impossible to see to the back of the store. She could just feel Kakashi freaking out mentally at the lack of visibility or clear escape routes.

They found the Uchiha deep in the men’s racks, arms piled with various clothing, as the middle-aged woman beside him chattered on and on about this color, or that style, obviously very proud of her work(which was as it should be, Sakura thought, since her aunt and uncle actually MADE most of the clothing in their store.)

“Ba-san,” Sakura bowed a little, apologizing for the interruption, “A customer at the front needs you. We can take it from here.”

Sari sent her niece a smile, and gave Sasuke a friendly pat on the shoulder, coupled with a gentle shove towards the changing room, “Go try them on, sonny. I must say, it’s so nice to have such a handsome nice man I can cater to. Make sure my clothes do him justice, Sakura. I’ll be here if you need me.” With that, she quickly went to join her husband.

Sakura was surprised to see how carefully blank Sasuke’s face was. “Sorry about that; I know she’s probably a little too friendly for you. Are you all right?”

His gaze sharpened suddenly, as if he’d been caught spacing out. “She reminds me of . . . never mind. I’m going to try these.” He indicated the nearly chin-high pile in his arms.

She blushed, “Don’t feel obligated, just because she’s related.”

He shook his head. “No, she has a good eye. She’s been doing this a long time.”

“Yeah. All her life. Most of my family works in either textiles or crafts of some sort. If I hadn’t decided to be a ninja, I’d have likely ended up working here or at my other uncle‘s workshop.” She nodded toward the changing room. “We’ll be here.”

He returned the nod, then stepped into the little booth and shut the door.

After a couple of minutes of listening to the Uchiha move around, she hesitantly called out, "Hey, you okay in there?"

A muffled 'hn' was her only response.

She rolled her eyes at the sound, "What? You're not going to come out and model for us?"

There was a pause in which she could easily imagine Sasuke staring at the door with one eyebrow raised. " . . . There's a mirror in here."

She rolled her eyes. Like that's ever saved him from fashion disasters before. "All right then." So much for the potential amusement in critiquing his wardrobe selection. She’d even learned a few Village People songs for the occasion. What a spoilsport. Somewhat bored, she walked a few feet away to one of the display tables, and leaned over it, propping herself on her elbows.

A few seconds later, she had to stifle a shriek as she suddenly felt a hand on her ass.

She glared balefully over her shoulder at the silent wielder of the soon-to-be-removed appendage. Kakashi just looked placidly at her, still holding his book open. The bastard was reading porn while groping her goodies IN HER FAMILY'S SHOP.

Annoyed, she wriggled her rear pointedly. No good. She bucked a little. Nope. Stubborn pervert. Holding in a sigh, she decided to just ignore him. It worked on Naruto. Most of the time.

But this wasn't Naruto.

A few seconds later, about the time she'd gotten used to the idea of being mildly molested in public, Kakashi decided to take the proverbial mile and slide his hand lower. Much lower.

She looked over her shoulder again, ready to start throwing a fit, when Kakashi deliberately caught her gaze and nodded his head towards the stall. Where Sasuke was. Unable to see them. With a huge pile of clothes.

'No fucking way. He can't possibly be thinking . . . '

[Do it! Do it! Do it!] Inner Sakura chanted.

Two minutes later found her still in the same position, with her shorts dropped just low enough to do the job, and Kakashi fucking her so-o-o slowly, so as not to make any noise.

It was stupid. It was dangerous. Anybody could walk up on them at any moment. Sasuke could emerge any second now.

So why the hell was it such a turn on?

Sakura had no time to consider the logic or lack thereof in this particular kink. She was too busy going out of her mind with frustrated bliss. It felt amazing, as always, but she needed . . . something. Something more. She squirmed a bit against the man behind her, utilizing every ninja trick to keep her breath steady and her movements silent.

A glance over her shoulder showed that Kakashi was doing the same, but he made it look effortless, whereas she was struggling to reign in the gasps and moans and oh fuck she loved the way it felt when he slid inside her, but she needed more, more speed, more friction more something, they didn't have time-!

In desperation, she clenched her thighs together a little tighter, clamping down as hard as she could, and then it happened:

Kakashi's breath hitched.

One of the greatest ninja in Konoha actually fell victim to an uncontrolled response.

Because of her.

Another glance let her see that he'd closed his eyes, probably trying to get under control again. Feeling a heady rush of power, she had a brilliant idea. Utilizing her someday-famous chakra manipulation, she started trickling energy into her Kegel muscles, just slowly enough not to give the game away to her partner.

Then, when she was ready, she squeezed.

Kakashi was forced to stop breathing altogether. Sakura caught sight of him in her peripheral vision; he was all but trembling. And then he gave her a look that said 'you're going to get it,' right before he slid his hand around her thighs, bracing her so that she wouldn't slide forward.

Then he lifted her just the slightest bit, and thrust hard.

The incredible pressure she was exerting, which forced Kakashi's cock to put press hard on her most sensitive places, plus the roughness she'd been craving, plus the all-consuming oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-we're-doing-this-here rush of adrenaline finally overcame her. It took only five more thrusts before she came, muffling any possible noises in a pile of shirts on the display table. Kakashi was right behind her.

She spent maybe eight seconds reveling in the afterglow before pushing up off the table and pulling her clothes back into place. Kakashi did the same; neither of them said anything but she could sense the aura of smug satisfaction emanating from the other jounin. Hell, he damn near reeked of it.

Oh shit. Her eyes widened in horror as she realized she probably smelled like sex. What if someone noticed? She looked at Kakashi, radiating mild panic; he just smiled at her-hell, his mask was up, he was probably giving her a shit-eating grin, Uzumaki-style. She opened her mouth to say something-

The faint click of the door latch was the only warning they got.

When Sasuke emerged, the pair was easily ten feet apart. Kakashi was exactly how he'd been before, leaning up against a shelf, Icha Icha in hand. Sakura was diligently rearranging clothing on the table, her back turned to the Uchiha. She was suddenly very conscious that her cheeks were flushed, her breathing a touch unsteady, and-holy hell, what that a bite mark she'd left in that shirt? Quickly, she adjusted the stack so that particular item wasn't on top. Taking a mental breath, she turned as casually as she could (considering just how wet she felt between her thighs), and asked, "Everything to your liking?"

Sasuke was giving her the strangest look, similar to the one he'd given when he'd seen her acting romantic with Naruto. His eyes flicked over to Kakashi, before he answered, "Yes. These will do fine."

Giving him a bright smile (in part because she'd been afraid he was going to throw another pissy fit), she nodded towards the front, "Then let's get going."

When they finally reached the register, after a quick detour to pick up a pair of regular civilian shoes, a large pile of socks and underwear, and a (REAL) belt, the other customer had already left, leaving her relatives free to gush over her and her 'handsome young men' again. Which, while embarrassing for her, was hilarious to see when Kakashi realized he was included in the statement this time. She'd never seen his ears turn quite that shade of crimson.

But they really needed to go. She was still tingling all over from the force of her orgasm, and she felt . . . dirty, but in a good way. Just goes to show you can't trust someone who reads Icha Icha in public, she thought, conveniently ignoring the fact that she had the entire series at home. And that she'd more than willingly agreed to it. And would Sasuke stop giving her those looks? And if Kakashi didn't stop brushing his hand across her ass when no one was looking . . .

She took a calming breath, willing her blush to fade. Games and mind-fucks aside, it was time to go. Now. She made an effort to pay attention to her aunt, looking for a good break in the conversation to make their leave in.

" . . . so glad you liked them. I don't get much chance to pick out clothes for people since the children have grown up, and most people prefer to shop closer to the main section of the district," Sari sighed wistfully as she swiped the card Kakashi had handed her.

To Sasuke's credit, he didn't interrupt the garrulous woman, and his eyes were a little softer than usual when he replied, "You were most helpful, Haruno-san."

She waved her hands, "Please, call me Sari or Ba-san. Any friend of Sakura's is one of mine, especially such sweet boy as you."

Sweet?!? Kakashi and Sakura exchanged incredulous looks.

Just then, her uncle piped up, "Sakura-chan, they're finished." He handed her a cloth-wrapped bundle with a wink. "Do you need me to put those on, or can you still handle a needle that's not designed for combat?"

She grinned at the tease, "I dunno, Kakashi-senpai says we need to assess the potential lethality of anything that comes to hand. I bet I could take out an enemy shinobi with the contents of my sewing kit." She pretended to consider it as she stowed the bundle safely in her medical pouch (which doubled as a roomy hands-free purse!). She smirked at Kakashi, who looked like he was ready to say something scathing. He’s asked them to stop calling him ‘sensei’ all the time, which had lead to a hilarious month of calling him every other title they could think of-including ‘Nidaime Ero-Sennin,’ ‘Hentai-san,’ ‘Kaka-chan’ and more. Really, senpai was the least embarrassing of the list.)

Taro laughed heartily and ruffled her hair, much as her 'senpai' had done when she was younger-and she could tell the men beside her were amused as hell as he remembered the same. "Ji-san!"

He was completely unrepentant, "Off with you. And good luck, young Uchiha-sama. You've got a long road ahead of you, but if you want something bad enough, you can make it."

Something unrecognizable flashed through Sasuke's eyes before he politely bowed. "Arigatou gozaimasu."

As they left, there was a moment of tense silence before Kakashi murmured, "They remind me of your aunt and uncle, as well."

Sasuke literally froze in mid-step.

Sakura tensed as she watched Sasuke's face actually struggle to keep his face blank. It wasn't pretty. She saw flashes of rage, confusion, guilt, anger, sorrow, grief, betrayal, and more in his eyes as they flickered from black to red and back again. He finally closed them altogether, taking a deep breath.

Finally, he relaxed his rigid posture a little and looked at them. His onyx eyes were calm, though she could still see a fair amount of strain around the edges. "Are we finished here?"

'Ah. The avoidance tactic.' As much as he wanted to pretend he didn't feel anything, he couldn't fool them. Sai was-had been-the real deal.

Annoyed by the act, Sakura sighed. "Yes. Let's just stop by my place first so we can drop off some of this stuff." And so I can clean up. Checking the height of the surrounding buildings, she quickly jumped to the nearest roof. "Let's go."

She led the way to her apartment, letting them in through the window. She indicated The Couch, "Toss all but two sets of clothes on there and I'll get to work. I gotta pee first, though." She darted to the bathroom.

By the time she emerged, feeling MUCH better (though only slightly less guilty), Kakashi and Sasuke had sorted out everything into piles. She blushed a little as she realized the Uchiha was standing right where the rest of them had engaged in an . . . her mind couldn't quite handle the word 'orgy.'

Inner Sakura, of course, seemed completely unfazed. [Orgy! Orgy!] she chanted, obviously in a great mood. [Blowjobs! Sandwiches! PUBLIC SEX! SHANNAROU!]

'Shut UP!' she mentally snarled, then forced herself to pay attention to Sasuke, who seemed to be taking the opportunity to check out her apartment. 'Hmph. Like he's never seen it before-wait. Until that night, he HADN'T seen it before. So how did he-'

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Hn?" ARGH! She was going to deviate his septum if he didn't start using REAL words!

"When you came here before, how did you find this place? Naruto and I live in completely different places than when you left. Did one of the ANBU or Tsunade-sama tell you where I live?" If so, Kami help her, she was gonna . . .

He raised an eyebrow, "I sensed Naruto's chakra. I followed."

Oh. "From across town?"

"It's easy, if you know exactly what you're looking for."

Arrogant bastard. "Hn." Gloating at the annoyed look he gave her for stealing his catchphrase, she grabbed her sewing kit. "Hand me the two shirts you picked out for now, and I'll get the rest later."

"And do what?" Sasuke asked, nevertheless moving to act.

She reached in her pouch and pulled out the package from her uncle, tossing it on the low table. She flopped onto the Couch and started threading a needle.

Giving her an odd look, Sasuke laid the shirts on the arm of the Couch, and took the bundle. He slowly unwrapped it, and gasped silently at the contents.

Crests. Uchiha crests. His family's symbol, in several different sizes.

She grinned at the poleaxed look on the other teen's face. "Those won't take too long to put on. I'll do these now." She plucked a larger crest from the pile, and a smaller one, then started sewing with practiced motions. She noticed Kakashi giving her a curious look from where he was positioned near the window. She simply raised an eyebrow at him until he shrugged.

"Sakura . . ." Sasuke trailed off, looking distinctly uncomfortable. She let her eyes flick to him in acknowledgement, but remained absorbed in her task, knowing that he'd either spit it out or retreat into stoicism. "Thank you."

Well. Her fingers stilled. She hadn't quite expected that. "You're welcome." Sasuke being nice? Could he really have changed in the past year? It made her feel a bit guilty for a moment.

"Hn."

. . . Never mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sasuke's POV


All right, what in the fuck is going on around here? I thought Sound was full of weird shit, but it's like I just entered the Twilight Zone version of Konoha.

I'm so glad to finally have some piece and quiet to brood in while the Asshole takes a shower. They can all laugh and call me Emo-sama all they want, but it's not going to change a damn thing. Just because I have a need for reflection and introspection-two things that dumbass dobe can't even spell, much less recognize as a legitimate practice. Hn. If 'brooding' helps me sort my shit out, then that's what I'll do. It helps me cope.

Well, most of the time. Right now, the more I think, the more pissed I get.

Seriously, after all these years of claiming undying friendship, chasing me all over the various countries I've been dragged around, suddenly Naruto and Sakura both hate me? Or do they? Naruto's giving a pretty good impression of it, but if there's one thing I know about him, it's that his capacity for forgiveness has no limit. He’ll forgive me eventually. Sakura's . . . well, she's ignoring me too, and was the first one to basically tell me to fuck off . . . but then she does something as . . . well, nice as getting me something as simple as my family crest. I never could bring myself to stop wearing it, even after all that time with Orochimaru. I didn't really think anyone had noticed.

Dammit. After I left, I tried so hard to turn everything I felt into anger. Call me an emotional adolescent if you want, but I needed that extra edge to use against him. I had to kill Itachi, and had to grow stronger to do it. Yes, I could have grown stronger here in Konoha, but . . . my team and Kakashi . . . they made me lose sight of my goal. They filled my thoughts with something other than vengeance.

And then Itachi came. He put Kakashi in the hospital, and my dobe . . . I have no doubt my dobe would have died.

That's right, my fucking dobe. He was my friend, my rival, my . . . my weakness. And Sakura, too, though I found her easier to discount in my mind simply by how annoying and clingy she was. And I'd like to find a single normal human being in the universe that could be around Hatake Kakashi and not end up having wet dreams. And Maito Gai doesn't count. I said normal.

They were my extended family(or at least I thought of them in that way until my hormones hit . . . at that point, had they actually been blood, I'd have committed seppuku), but most importantly, they were the only thing left to remind me that I was still human.

And HE could have taken everything from me all over again.

So I left. I joined Orochimaru to get stronger, and to surround myself with people other than my precious ones. It's not like it was easy; Naruto made sure it wasn't. And it's not like I didn't ever regret my choice. My new master wasn't exactly in it for the charity. Three years of incredible training in return for three years of 'service,' with several definitions of the term, and eventual assimilation. Resistance was futile.

And after all of that, now this?

I'm not sure what the hell's going on with Sakura. The Sakura I knew wouldn't-no-couldn't do what it looks like she's been doing. Fooling around with that brain-dead asshole? And could she possibly be dating Naruto? And what the fuck happened in the store today? I know what a person looks like after sex, and I'd be willing to bet my 'allowance' (God, Kakashi pissed me off with that one. Giving me an allowance out of MY OWN DAMN MONEY!) that she, at least, had just gotten some. Kakashi didn't look any different, but that was to be expected from a ninja of his caliber.

And she sure as hell hadn't gotten off by herself, or I'm pretty sure Kakashi would have said something.

Worse, Kakashi's the kind of perverted bastard that probably would get his kicks by fucking my ex-fangirl ten feet away.

But . . . Sakura . . . would she really? DID she really? Am I just being paranoid?

Sakura wouldn't do something like that . . .

Would she?

Growling at the doubt running through my head, I kicked at one of my new boots, sending it flying into the setup Sai has in the middle of his living room. The easel wobbled slightly, threatening to send the canvas to the floor, and I had to squash the urge to just let it. Instead, I ran over and grasped the edge, settling it securely.

Normally, I wouldn't care, but . . . it was for Naruto. And looking at it let me see how much everyone had changed while I was gone.

Even if it's like a kunai in my chest to see Naruto standing between Sai and Sakura, grinning like nothing was wrong.

Like he didn't miss me at all.

It makes me think . . . When I was little, and Itachi would leave on long missions, our mother would still set a place for him at the table. As we ate, that space with its empty plate would remind us of the one who was missing.

I guess . . . when I left, I thought my friends would do the same sort of thing. That I'd always have a place at the table, so to speak.

And instead, Sai's in my seat.

It makes me want to shove a Chidori up his ass.

I consider the thought with savage glee. If I could somehow put the full power of Chidori into the first two fingers of each hand-while avoiding destroying said digits in the process-and combine the jutsu with Kakashi's Thousand Years of Pain . . .

I could call it the Rectal Raiton.

Just as I was imagining the look of agony on that cocky little shit's face, my furious pacing caused me to brush against the coffee table, sliding one of Sai's stupid sketchbooks across the table.

I glance back at the painting. Even I can admit that the guy's pretty good. It pisses me off just how curious I am about how his other stuff must look. I've already examined all of the other works on his wall; there was plenty of time last night while he worked on the unfinished one. Totally ignoring me, I might add.

Dick.

And now that I was thinking about it, that damn book was tempting me. Just sitting there. Begging to be opened. I'd successfully ignored it until then, but now it just screamed for attention. My fingers positively twitched.

But part of me was afraid. I'm afraid that if I like and/or understand Sai's work, that I'll end up liking and/or understanding Sai.

I don't want to like Sai.

I want to Rectal Raiton his ass.

But . . .

"Fuck it," I mutter, snatching the damn thing and flopping down on the couch. Uchihas aren't afraid of anything, right?

For a moment, Itachi's face flickers in my mind. I ruthlessly squashed the half-formed thought and flip open the black Pandora's Box in my hands.

Damn, this guy's good.

His landscapes transport you there. His portraits looked like they were ready to step off the page. Even his abstracts had some indefinable quality that drew the eye, and then kept it.

And these weren't even finished!

I saw a lot of people I knew. The Rookie Nine. Team Gai. There was one of Tsunade, looking bored and exhausted over a mound of paperwork. There were a lot of my old teammates. Training-since when did they use blades?-eating ramen at Ichiraku, various battle poses. There were more group shots, apparently drawn during nights out as a group. The one of Kiba and Naruto apparently singing karaoke quickly became a particular favorite, especially with the way Sai had drawn the rest of the crew behind them, in poses that suggested they were in the midst of being horribly tortured.

Never mind. I just found the one of Naruto in a lime-green kimono. I’d pay money to see that in real life.

Then I flipped to a page that made my Sharingan activate out of sheer fury.

It was a sketch of Sakura, asleep. In bed. Naked.

I was going to KILL him.

My heart started to ache in unaccustomed ways as I saw her laying on her side, cuddling an undrawn something in front of her. She was (mostly) covered in front by the blanket that stopped just short of exposing what promised to be a very nice ass. The blanket, unfortunately, that I recognized from Sai's bedroom.

It made me all the angrier to see the obvious attention to detail. He'd taken his time to get every nuance, from the way her mussed hair was spread sexily across the pillow, the way her gorgeous lips were slightly parted. She looked utterly feminine, in a way I hadn't seen since . . . well, ever. Even when Team 7 had been formed, and she'd had her fangirl obsession, growing her hair long and wearing makeup-MAKEUP!-to training, she'd still been such a tomboy. It was something of a requirement in a kunoichi.

She looked fucking beautiful.

That asshole. She was supposed to be mine.

My teeth were clenched, my hands nearly shaking in fury as the book closed. What had happened to her 'undying love?' When had I stopped being her 'one?'

Just when did she start dropping her shorts for that . . . that . . . pale imitation? Was she so desperate that she'd decided to settle?

And wait. Wait just a minute. If she was fucking Sai, then what was all that shit with Naruto? They were certainly chummy.

But Sai'd had his . . . and he'd . . . and she'd . . . and then, in the shop with Kakashi-sensei . . . I could've sworn . . .

But Naruto . . .

My synapses were firing rapidly, trying to connect the dots, and somehow, somewhere, I was missing vital information.

What the fuck is going on?!?!?

My hands were gripping the sketchbook so hard that the spine was creaking. Breathing hard, I flipped it open again, ready to take that drawing and destroy it.

My fingers skipped a page too far.

Oh. My. God.

I couldn't breathe. Not when Naruto . . .

Same bedroom. Same bed.

WHAT THE HELL WAS MY DOBE DOING IN SAI'S BED?!?

My mind couldn't seem to cope. On one hand, my brain was trying to work out what the hell this all meant. On the other was my heart, screaming betrayal. The other part, the part of my brain apparently connected to my cock, was drinking in the sight of a very very grown up Naruto who had apparently decided he was hot and thrown off most of the incriminating blanket. And God, had he grown. He was all hard muscle and tan skin and blonde hair, and . . .

In Sai's bed. DAMMIT!

"Do you like them? They're some of my favorites."

I didn't jump. Life with Orochimaru had cured me of that particular reflex. Still, it was a definite sign of my agitation that he'd come up, not even behind me, but in my peripheral vision, like that.

Which made two different ninja in as many days taking me by surprise. What the hell is wrong with me?

I slowly turned towards the other shinobi, already annoyed at the sickeningly cheerful tone in his voice. I realized belatedly that I'm seeing more movement-or rather, potential movement-than is actually happening, which means my Sharingan is still active. With some difficulty, I relaxed that part of my eyes, so that red bleeds back to black.

Then I tried to work through the rage that had constricted my throat, while trying not to show any more of my inner turmoil to the . . . hey, what the hell is he doing, walking around in only a towel? Didn't decorum demand a bathrobe or something around houseguests?

Suddenly, Sai's standing directly in front of me, all vestiges of humor gone from his expression. His voice was low, "Don't think you can hide your emotions from me. I used to be as cold as you pretend to be. You can't lie to another liar." His expression relaxed a little as he pushed his wet bangs away from his face. I'm struck again by how similar we look. "So. Why are you so angry at my drawings?"

Standing, I wordlessly show him the book, still opened to Naruto's . . . . I still can't talk around the lump of homicidal longing in my throat.

If I hadn't been watching, I might have missed the way his expression actually softened. A smile, different from the ones I'd seen before, crossed his face. "Oh, yes. That was a good one. The light was just right."

The light? The fucking LIGHT? I grit my teeth. "Is this from life, or is it something your sick little mind came up with?"

"From life, of course."

Of course. My fingers start itching to wrap around that pale throat.

Suddenly, the expression on his face was less than friendly. If I weren't so sure that he was emotionally retarded, I would have said he was angry. He leaned in, so close his damp chest almost brushed my shirt. "Do you really think I forgot what you said in your master's lair?"

What I said in . . . oh. "You were telling me about Naruto in front of the two people who would and could have killed us both on the spot. If you'd asked me somewhere else, I might have given a different answer."

His face shifted again. Definitely pissed. "I did, remember? Right before you blew up part of the complex?"

Oh yeah. Oops. "I don't like being woken up." Oh God, did I really just make that lame-ass excuse? "And I . . . wasn't ready to come back." There. Some truth.

His gaze narrowed, "What happened?"

I wouldn't answer that question. I couldn't. Several images flashed in my mind, of all the places Orochimaru had taken me, the battles we'd fought, the medical experiments I'd been forced to watch-or worse, participate-in, chasing Akatsuki members far and wide . . . and then . . . I closed my eyes and shook my head to clear it.

I don't know what Sai saw on my face, but when I finally felt composed enough to look at him again, his face was completely blank. For some reason, that actually put me more on edge; it was the kind of face an assassin killed with. I reminded myself that this was an ANBU.

"If you hurt Naruto or Sakura again, I'll kill you."

My eyes snapped back to red as my mood switched from angst to pissed almost instantaneously. Unfortunately, as much as I'd cultivated my anger, I'd never gained too fine of a control on it. "What the hell is it to you? I've got more right to be with them than you do. You're not even really their teammate. You're just a stand in. For me."

There was no movement, but somehow, I knew I'd struck a mark.

Sensing his weak spot, I moved in for blood, "You know the only reason Naruto or Sakura would ever fuck you is because you remind them so much of me." And the pathetic thing is, I want to believe that.

I don't want to believe they forgot me.

I'm saved from a descent into angst-y introspection by the feel of a vicious blow to my face. I was expecting and bracing for a lot of things. A punch. A kick. A kunai-though from where he'd have drawn it when towel-clad did not bear consideration.

But something as girly as an open-handed slap surprised me.

Not to imply Sai's strike was in any way feminine, though. My entire body flew backwards, over the fucking couch. Thankfully, it wasn't against a wall, though hitting the floor on my ass wasn't all that great, either. My ears were ringing, and it felt like I'd been smashed in the face with a frying pan(strange how, even now, my thoughts turn to memories of Naruto doing just that over an argument of Japanese-style scrambled eggs vs. Western-style). I just knew there was going to be a lovely five-fingered bruise to go along with it in the morning.

Assuming I didn't go to the hospital for a concussion, first.

When the room stopped spinning, I glared at the asshole before me, "What the FUCK was that?"

He was staring at his right hand like he hadn't seen it before. I think it actually may have shocked him that he'd reacted so violently. Then his expression hardened, and I realized he didn't care. "That, Duck-Butt, was what I believe is called a 'bitch-slap.'

. . . Say what?

Hold on just a fucking minute.

I just got bitch-slapped. By the man sleeping with both of my best friends. Who is apparently fucking them both behind each others' backs, no less. And he was currently standing in front of me in nothing but a towel.

When did I leave the Twilight Zone, and why in the hell wasn't there a sign warning me that I was entering the Jerry Springer Zone?

I was on my feet and my fist was already cocked back and swinging before I realized it, and in a few seconds we were rolling around on the floor like a couple of drunk civilians, all ninja abilities or taijutsu techniques abruptly forgotten.

For a moment, it was almost like being with Naruto again. It was akin to one of our glorious brawls, where we'd piss each other off enough to totally forget that we were shinobi, and we became . . . normal. Where he wasn't the Kyuubi vessel, hated by all, and I wasn't the Clan Avenger. We were just Dobe and Teme.

As I rammed an elbow into Sai's gut, barely avoiding a knee in the nuts (dirty cheating bastard-and what the hell? Did he superglue that towel in place? Shouldn't it have fallen off by now? Why did I care?), I realized that if I didn't already hate him for stealing what was mine, I might actually get along with him.

At least, until we were unceremoniously pulled apart.

"If you two young ladies are quite finished, could we save the catfight for tomorrow's spar?" Kakashi drawled lazily. Both of his hands were on our shoulders, making sure we didn't go at it again.

I was about to say something scathing in response to the slur on my manhood, but I was brought up short by a glance at Sai.

Damn. It did kind of look like a catfight. He was scratched up, his lip was bleeding (but then again, so was mine), and his hair looked like someone had grabbed a handful and-whoops. I surreptitiously shook my hand free of the fine black hairs that had somehow materialized and wound themselves around my fingers.

"Dare I ask what brought this on?" he asked dryly.

Sai and I just glared at each other.

"Sai."

The other raven finally responded to the ring of authority in Kakashi's voice. "He saw the drawings I made of Sakura and Naruto the other night."

There was a pause, and I can sense my old sensei's mood switching over to amused. "And?"

What the? I glared at him, "You don't have any problem with the fact that they're both fucking that . . . this . . . him?!?"

Kakashi shrugged, "I am, too. So no."

I actually lost my Uchiha composure for a few moments as my jaw hit the floor.

Thankfully, he ignored me, dropping his hand from my shoulder to look at Sai. "Are you all right?"

"Yes." Sai glared at me, edging just a little bit closer to the older man. "Has anyone ever told you that the duck-ass shape of your hair gets fluffier when you're pissed?"

Before I could form a response, Kakashi had surprised me-and Sai, too, by the look on his face-by gently clapping his hand over Sai's mouth. "Pick your battles, Sai-kun. Nothing short of growing it out is going to solve that problem."

Did . . . did Kakashi just make a joke? About my hair of all things?

Like he had any room to talk.

And then, he did something even weirder.

He . . . pet Sai. Like, literally. Right there in front of me, he ran the fingers of his right hand through the other raven's silky hair until his hand rested on Sai's neck. The other hand was gently cupping Sai's jaw, a thumb running softly over his cheek.

And the asshole purred.. Fucking purred.

I wasn't sure whether to go back to being pissed and violent, or broody and emo.

In the end, I wound up lying awake on the couch, trying not to think about-or listen to-the muffled sounds emanating from Sai's bedroom door.

But for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to leave.

Maybe I should have stayed in the Twilight Zone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Daaaamn! Sasuke’s a possessive little bitch, isn’t he? Even I was surprised when he showed up as my muse. He was all, ‘mine this, mine that, me me me.’ I had to gag him and put him back in the closet. And then had to stop and deal with a nosebleed at the thought of Sasuke in bondage gear. God, I’m a masochist.

All right-as always thank you for all of your reviews! I think my absolute favorites this time go to Feion_Phylar and milktea. Feion, you know how much your reviews make me laugh. And milktea, you nearly made me pee my pants. I could just imagine someone literally bouncing off the walls, squealing.

Okay, and I’d like to address the complaints of the amounts of Kaka/Saku action.

Point One: I'm trying to write this as in character as I can manage. And you know what? I think every person in that relationship needs something different from the others. Kakashi, being the older, more experienced character (who has issues concerning love and friendship, since most of his friends have DIED) would probably be more interested in the sex, of any variety, that he could get, and be slower to indulge in warm fuzzy feelings at first.

Naruto, on the other hand, has been head over heels with Sakura for six years, and only now is he able to act on that without getting the shit beat out of him. So what do you think will be the most meaningful to him: sex or the acknowledgement of his feelings, and her reciprocation of them? Look, this guy trained with Ero-sennin! He could get laid anywhere(especially with looks like THAT!!!), but who else has he been pining to hold hands over a bowl of ramen with?

And Sai . . . poor Sai. This is probably waaaay beyond his ken. And what a group to learn about relationships with! Yeesh. However, I think he and Sakura would have the best balance of physical and emotional interactions. The thing is, though, that at this point, they're both fairly submissive, being both inexperienced. And have you ever watched two submissives try to have sex? I've done it; it's very hard to get anything done. So to speak.

So yeah. That's why Kakashi's jumping Sakura at every opportunity. So there. However, there shall soon be action with more of the others. And Sasuke . . . well, I'm NOT TELLING!

Point Two: My priority is ALWAYS for the plot. And whatever it takes to advance the plot, including lemons. Lemons are secondary. Trying to force the characters into something that goes against what I see in my head just gives me writer's block. And I'm not going to add in pairings just to keep things 'even.'

You know what? The boys aren't keeping a scorecard, so why are you?

End rant. Thank you. I didn’t mean to get quite that pissy, but it’s a little frustrating. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m writing this FOR MYSELF. If I don’t like it, it’s not worth the effort.

All right, I’m off to work on Ch. 11, and the reward fic for going over 100 reviews!

Kunai and Kisses

Dina-chan

(10986) (125) (75)