Hunger

Disclaimer: 'Naruto' belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
Warnings: yaoi, INCEST, AU.
Pairings: At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I appreciate them!

Chapter 10: Expectations

A grumpy, annoyed and above all emotionally hurt Gaara was in the kitchen, looking for something to eat. He wasn't really hungry, for he had lost his appetite. His inner debate of what to eat and few other thoughts were disturbed when the doorbell rang. Curious, he went to answer.

On the door was no other than the ever lively blond, Naruto, grinning kindly and this time really wearing his blue winter coat Gaara had told him to. "Hey, is everything alright? You weren't at school today so I was worried. I brought you your homework, by the way," Naruto said happily. He didn't have to take more than one glance at his friend to instantly notice the grim aura around him.

Without a word, Gaara let him in and slowly made his way back to the kitchen. Today, he wasn't in the mood for talking or being friendly. Silently, he rummaged through the refrigerator and was satisfied at finding a box of green grapes—those he could eat even without appetite.

"Gaara? What's wrong with you?" Naruto asked in a corcerned voice but it didn't seem to have any effect on the redhead.

Without paying attention to his friend, Gaara strolled into his room. It hurt to walk but he tried his best to hide his pain and move like nothing bothered him. He sat down onto the bed and rested his back against the wall, holding the little box on his lap.

"I'll get really worried if you don't answer me or anything. Why weren't you at school today? Have you lost your voice or something?" Naruto asked as he sat beside his friend. Just to be sure, he didn't sit too near, in case the quiet redhead wanted to keep his personal space this time. When Gaara said nothing in reply but only ate the grapes one by one, staring into the distance, Naruto got even more worried.

"Do you have a fever?" Naruto asked, putting his hand on the pale forehead, testing if it was abnormally hot.

"Don't touch me," Gaara said angrily, slapping Naruto's hand away. Right now, he didn't want to be touched, it reminded him too much of last night. He wasn't too happy that the blond fussed around asking questions because he wasn't willing to talk, he just wanted to be alone and think.

Naruto was taken aback by the reply he got. Only yesterday they had been so close at his home and now his friend was acting like he wanted nothing to do with him anymore. For a moment the blond was quiet, thinking back if he had somehow hurt the redhead. When he concluded that he hadn't, he looked up again at the boy next to him.

"Why are you so distant?" Naruto asked, sounding almost sad. How was he supposed to help his friend if he wasn't allowed to touch and if talking didn't have any effect?

The pair of jade eyes turned to look into the blue ones and Naruto flinched as their gazes locked. The green pools were almost blank, drained of everything they normally reflected. The emptiness soon filled with coldness and Naruto could see the redhead closing up into his invisible shell again.

"Why did you come here?" Gaara asked, staring none too friendly at the blond.

"Eh? What do you mean why? Of course I came here, I thought you wanted to get your homework. And I... I thought that you'd like to hang around with me," Naruto said, starting to feel stupid.

"I got the homework, now you can leave," Gaara said and looked away, resuming to eating the grapes.

"What? No, I won't! Not before I know what's wrong with you. To me, you don't look sick at all and I can't see why you stayed home, not coming to school," Naruto said, determination clear in his voice.

"What if I just skipped school for fun? And why do you care, anyway?" Gaara said, putting a grape into his mouth.

"You wouldn't do it for fun and how can you even think I wouldn't care? You're my friend, Gaara, I care about you," Naruto replied, leaning a bit closer. "Yesterday everything was fine, why are you so cold to me now?"

The black rimmed eyes narrowed and Gaara chewed the poor grapes a bit too forcefully. He didn't want to think about yesterday, not even a part of it. All the memories were too fresh and he didn't want the guilt brought by his brother's words to crawl into his mind again. "Leave," he said, his voice seething coldness.

"No!" Naruto said, rising his voice. He wouldn't leave his friend alone when he didn't know what was wrong.

When the stubborn blond didn't make any gestures of leaving, Gaara decided that he would. He climbed off the bed, careful at not getting into a wrong position. When he rested his weight on his feet, he couldn't help but wince at the unpleasant sensation it caused. Slowly, he walked to the livingroom, the grape box still in his hands. As Gaara carefully sat down onto the couch, the blond nuisance was instantly there beside him. The redhead frowned but didn't look at Naruto, instead he stared into the distance.

"Gaara... Why are you so quiet? You aren't normally like this," Naruto started again. He took a hold of Gaara's hand and squeezed it, desperate at having some contact with him.

"Don't touch me," Gaara hissed and jerked his hand away.

Naruto, however, didn't let go. Instead, his grip tightened and he took a hold of both of Gaara's hands, preventing his friend from shooing him away again. He didn't care that the jade eyes reflected dislike that promised a slow and painful death. He didn't care that Gaara was struggling and trying to push him away, either.

"Naruto! Let go!" Gaara growled, trying to get rid of the blond. He was just about to push the annoying blond down onto the floor when a flash of pain went through his body. He winced and momentarily stopped his resistance.

Naruto noticed his chance and toppled over his friend, holding the pale wrists down on the both sides of his friend's head. In the middle of all this, the grapes had fallen to the floor and were now scattered all over the livingroom carpet.

"Gaara, why won't you tell me anything?" Naruto almost yelled, his voice desperately rising. It hurt him that the redhead wanted to shoo him away like in the beginning of their friendship. Hadn't he already showed him his trustworthiness? Why couldn't Gaara still trust him?

"Get off of me!" Gaara said in a cold-dripping voice. If he wasn't in pain, the blond would already be on the floor or even out of the house. He had been pinned down onto this very couch so many times before that he had lost count, and it made him even more angrier that now Naruto was doing the same.

"No, not until you tell me! Did someone hurt you?" Naruto asked in a worried voice, tightening his hold on the pale wrists.

"No! Get off of me, now," Gaara hissed venomously, struggling in vain.

"Then why are you in pain?" Naruto asked, ignoring the order of letting go.

"I'm not in pain!" Gaara said in a dangerously low voice, attempting to free his hands.

Naruto pinned the wrists down with a slight more force, not letting his friend push him away. "If you don't tell me, I will lay on top of you even if it takes all day, asking you questions nonstop," Naruto answered. He hoped he wouldn't have to carry through his threat. He was sure that at some point it would start to feel really akward to be in this position and it would be then that the unproper thoughts would start to spin in his mind.

The black eyes narrowed a fraction as Gaara evaluated the situation. He hadn't thought about a story to explain his absence at school but given that the blond seemed to be serious, he started making up a white lie. He certainly didn't want Kankuro to find them laying like this when he came back home from work.

"Fine," Gaara spat, his jade eyes reflecting the dislike he felt over the situation. "I wrenched my lumbar region. Are you happy now?" he then said, trying to free his hands again.

Naruto studied the green orbs for a moment, wondering if he had been told the truth. "How did that happen?" he asked, a serious look on his face.

It was a question Gaara hadn't been waiting for. He pondered for a moment, thinking what he should say. "I was carrying a box full of old books from the attick, down the stairs," was all he could think of.

"Can I see that box?" Naruto asked. The blue eyes held a certain deepness in them that Gaara had never seen before.

"No, it was taken to a flea market today," Gaara lied fluently. Judging by the look on Naruto's face, the blond seemed to buy it.

"I see. But wasn't it midnight when you came home yesterday, why were you carrying things at that ungodly hour? Or if you did it this morning, why couldn't it wait until later? And I think Kankuro's much stronger than you, you should've let him handle the heavy box," Naruto spoke.

At this point, Gaara was getting really annoyed at the questions that were far too spesific for his liking. "I didn't want to leave it to the morning because Kankuro had to leave early. Besides, when I wasn't at home, he had to carry enough heavy stuff alone. I didn't want him to do everything," Gaara huffed, hoping his lies weren't too obvious. "And we needed the money, not that old junk in our attick," he added, trying to increase the credibility of the story.

"Okay," Naruto said, not so worried anymore. "But why couldn't you tell me this right away?" he then asked, feeling that all the pieces of the story didn't quite fit in.

"There was nothing to tell about," Gaara defended, struggling again.

"Yeah but there was nothing you couldn't have told me, either," Naruto pointed out, still not freeing his friend. "And that doesn't explain why you're so cold to me," he continued, saying the last sentence in a sad voice, his face full of sorrow.

"I just don't feel like being social today," Gaara replied, tired of having to cover up what was going on in his life. He didn't enjoy lying but there was no way he could tell the truth. He wanted Naruto out of the house, for he feared the blond might actually get wind of something he was better off not knowing. "Now get off of me and leave!" he continued harshly, inwardly wincing as his own, cold tone registered in his brain.

If possible, Naruto's face looked even sadder after that. The blue orbs shined and when Gaara observed more carefully, he could see that the wetness was probably caused by unshed tears. Was Naruto about to cry?

"Naruto..." Gaara said warningly. Boys don't cry!

"Gaara... Why?" Naruto asked, despair echoing in his voice as his hands finally freed the pale wrists and found their way around his friend's head. "Why do you keep telling me to leave? I... I care for you. I thought that because we're friends, you would accept it. Don't push me away, please," he said, pleading.

"Naruto..." Gaara whispered, unsure how to continue. He hadn't meant to upset or hurt the blond but the fear of Naruto finding out about the abuse had made him act more defensively than normal.

"G-Gaara... to me, you're... you're the most precious person alive. Please don't push me away," Naruto stuttered, his blue eyes full of deep sorrow as he looked down at Gaara.

The black-rimmed eyes widened in surprisement. He was Naruto's precious person? When had their friendship become so deep? He remembered how he had protected Naruto from his brother and how he had looked after him yesterday, all tokens of caring. But did it make Naruto his precious person? Naruto was important to him, he brought light into the darkness he lived in. In that way, Naruto was precious to him.

"I..." Gaara began, not quite knowing how he could turn his thoughts into actual words. He was cut off by the blond, however, and didn't have a chance to continue.

"Gaara, I..." Naruto began, his voice desperate. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he searched for the words and when he found them, they came out as a whisper, "I like you."

Before Gaara had even time to process what he had just heard, he felt soft lips pressing against his own. At that moment, his heart missed a beat, only to start drumming wildly in his chest right after. In a fleeting moment, the shy contact turned into a hungrier and more daring by Naruto, and it was then that Gaara got over from his shock and realized what was happening. Confused, he gripped Naruto's shoulders and pushed him away, quickly dropping the blond off from the couch and down onto the floor, following him. Naruto yelped in pain as his head hit the floor.

Gaara pinned his perplexed friend down, not actually registering his actions for they seemed more like a reflex. At first had come confusion, then the urge to get away from under Naruto because the situation had reminded him all too much of something unpleasant. Now, when he was in control and there was no danger that he would be forced to anything, there was room for confusion again.

"Why did you do that?" Gaara said angrily, not sure what would be the proper way to react. He wasn't angry but surprised and unsure. His heartbeat was still fast, making him feel almost dizzy. Naruto... liked him? Why?

"I... I thought I told you why," Naruto said, a little afraid. It was when his head had come in contact with the hard floor that he had realized what he had done, and to whom at that. He gulped as the icy jade eyes bored holes into him and suddenly, he became very aware of the suggestive position they were in. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," Naruto spoke, knowing his face was probably as red as Gaara's hair.

"You're a fool. I can't be with you!" Gaara said harshly. His own emotions were confusing him, making it hard to know what he should feel. The kiss hadn't been repulsing or disgusting. It hadn't felt wrong like the kisses he had had before but it didn't feel totally right, either. He and Naruto were friends and friendship was the closest thing he could ever offer. There was no way he could have a boyfriend as long as Kankuro was near him. How could he explain this to Naruto, without actually telling him too much?

A hurtful look came to Naruto's face at the insult and the sharp words. The anger displayed all over Gaara's face made him fear what would come next. He scolded himself for letting his emotions and urges take over. If he had kept his feelings under control, none of this would've happened. "Why can't you?" Naruto asked, "Is it because you don't like me?"

"No," Gaara replied. Now in his confused state of mind, he could actually imagine himself being attracted to Naruto but it was irrelevant. He just simply couldn't form a liking to anyone, it would endanger everything. That, and he was a little afraid of what Kankuro might do if he found out. "I can't because... it wouldn't be wise," he then answered, choosing his words carefully.

"What do you mean it wouldn't be wise? Doesn't it matter more what you feel than what you think?" Naruto asked.

"You shouldn't let your feelings control you, Naruto but your thoughts," Gaara pointed out.

"Didn't you like how it felt when I... uh... k-kissed you?" Naruto asked. He wondered where he had gotten the courage to keep up the conversation. Maybe it was because he had dreamed of Gaara so long and knew that if he gave up now, he might never get another chance.

"I told you it doesn't matter what I feel," Gaara said, irritated. He was about to get off of his friend when the tanned hands seized his head.

"But I liked how it felt," Naruto whispered, lifting his own head and bringing their lips together again. Pleasant shivers went down his spine as he tentatively brushed his tongue against Gaara's soft lower lip.

Gaara hadn't expected to be kissed again. If it weren't for the hands holding his head still, the physical connection between them would've already ended. When a wet and warm tongue brushed against his lower lip sensually, a wave of excitement washed over him.

"No..." Gaara murmured, breaking away hastily. They couldn't be found like this! He couldn't develop any forbidden feelings for Naruto, it would only have disastrous results!

Naruto was breathing heavily under him, a visible blush on his cheeks. At that moment the blond actually looked beautiful to Gaara and more than just in an artistic way. He shook the thoughts off and cleared his mind, making room for rational thoughts instead of his primal ones. This was dangerous, his brother could come back any moment! He might not be able to explain and Naruto for sure would hardly be able to mask his feelings. This all came so soon and the events of yesterday were still fresh in his mind.

Gaara got up and straightened his clothes. His head was starting to hurt from all that had happened in such a short time. Naruto got up, too, and it was then that he noticed that he had smashed quite a lot of grapes onto the carpet.

"Oops! Sorry about the carpet," Naruto apologized, embarrassed. Some of the smashed grapes were clinging onto his orange shirt, staining it with their juices.

Gaara sighed and turned to look at his friend, "Help me clean up this mess."

When they both participated in collecting the unbroken grapes and carefully picking up the broken ones, Gaara couldn't help but wonder if they were still friends or something more. Had he already formed a liking to Naruto, without even noticing it himself?

To him, sexuality wasn't an easy subject and he honestly wasn't sure if he wanted anyone approaching him on that field. Being with Naruto didn't feel wrong but it didn't make the things any more easier, either. Even though kissing was familiar to him, the kiss with Naruto had still been new and different. He was afraid that if anything like that happened again, he'd accidentally respond in some unnormal way, thus raising Naruto's suspicion.

"Here are the last ones," Naruto said and dropped the unbroken grapes into the little box Gaara was holding. "Sorry about the mess and the... kiss," he then added and when he drew his hand away, it accidentally brushed against Gaara's.

The fleeting contact made Gaara's skin tingle in a way it had never tingled before. He averted his gaze and put the grape box onto the coffee table, hurriedly leaving the living room. Now he knew what would be wisest to do and it hurt him. Still, he told himself that it would be for the best.

Naruto followed Gaara, unsure what he should say, or if he should say anything at all. He was so stupid! Why did he have to do it and ruin everything? As if Gaara hadn't been grumpy enough in the first place, he had to kiss him and make things even worse. He was getting nervous and desperate because of the dead silence between them. What if Gaara told him to leave the house, again? This time, he was sure he would, for he wouldn't dare to oppose anymore.

In the hallway, Gaara stopped and collected himself before turning to look at Naruto, who had come to stand next to him.

The blue eyes of Naruto looked so incredibly blue to Gaara. In them, he could make out at least four different shades of that mystic color when he looked carefully enough. Never had blue been so beautiful to him than now. But he would have to forget all this, forget what he had experienced with his first and only friend because Naruto would have to leave, the sooner the better. Gaara was already on thin ice. The weight of Naruto's—and his own—affection would only break the already cracked ice and then, he would fall into the depths of freezing, unknown water and drown.

"I'm sorry..." Gaara suddenly said, his jade eyes boring into the blue ones of Naruto's.

"For what?" Naruto asked, raising his yellow eyebrows in confusion.

"...but I'm not the one you're looking for. You don't know me at all," Gaara continued, his jade eyes now much darker than before.

"We've know for about four months, I thought I'd know you at least on some level," Naruto said, still not totally understanding what he had just been said. "Besides, I... I like to be with you." How lame had his wording sounded. 'Like' was far from true—in fact he hungered for Gaara's company, he made him feel happy, excited, alive. "I don't feel this good with anyone else."

Gaara could understand what Naruto meant, for he felt the same. He couldn't compare his time spent with Naruto to anything else. And still, even though he had just a moment ago admitted that Naruto was precious to him, he was now willingly giving it all up in order to protect everyone and everything. He told himself it was for the best. "Leave."

"Oh... Okay. Um, would you like to hang around tomorrow, after school?" Naruto asked, not too surprised that Gaara wanted to be alone after what had happened. He tried to not feel hurt, because he could always be with Gaara some other time.

"No. It's better if we don't see again. Now leave," Gaara ordered, keeping the impassive mask in place no matter how bad he felt inside. He didn't want to lose Naruto, he... he had that feeling around him, he hated letting him go. But he had to, it would be for the best. Naruto was already too close of finding out things he shouldn't. Maybe he shouldn't have let Naruto this close in the first place but now when he looked back, he didn't regret anything. The only thing he felt sorry for was that life and the circumstances were now tearing them apart. He couldn't have a person as close as Naruto was, not now. It would all end in pain, and pain was something he didn't need any more than he and his brother were already having.

It didn't matter what he felt. The feelings he had suppressed were irrelevant, dangerous. After what had just happened, Naruto's presence was only fueling them. All those feelings should be buried and forgotten this instant, before they grew and got uncontrollable. That's why, Naruto would have to leave, now.

Funny, he had known from the beginning that he couldn't really have any kind of relationship with anyone. But now, when he was on the verge of stepping into something deeper than just friendship and he had to end it, it felt so unbearable to let go, so difficult and bad. Realising that this had been bound to happen some day didn't comfort him at all.

"G-Gaara? Are you serious?" Naruto asked, his casual voice turning into a wavering one. "Are you telling me that... we're not friends anymore?" he whispered in a faltering voice.

"Yes," Gaara replied firmly, keeping his voice void of emotion. The shiny blue orbs of Naruto made it hard for him to stay unaffected and secretly, he bit his tongue in order not to back off from his plan.

"No!" Naruto exclaimed, gripping Gaara's arms and staring into the darkened jade pools with such intensity that it made Gaara almost squirm in uncomfortableness. "No! I won't let you go! I already told you how much I care for you and I don't believe that there's any reason in the world why you should push me away. I didn't get to know you so that you could just run away from me like you do now," Naruto almost yelled, his tone of voice revealing each and every emotion he currently felt.

Gaara could feel the imaginary ice cracking dangerously and he feared for the moment it would give in and he would fall into the unknown. Naruto's blue eyes shined and even though the blond didn't actually cry, there were tears trailing down the tanned cheeks. He wasn't sure if Naruto even noticed it himself. The blond was looking at him with such a deep emotion that it made it hard for him to keep up the cool facade.

"I won't let you go! You're precious to me and I..." Naruto yelled again, his grip on Gaara's arms tightening as he kept on staring into the green orbs. "...I love you," he then whispered, a dramatic change to his earlier yelling.

In his head, Gaara could hear the loud cracking as the thin ice finally broke and he was left standing on the emptiness. Then, he began falling down to the unknown, waiting for the freezing water to embrace him and drown him mercilessly. The cold contact never came but instead, warmness filled him first from the outside and then from the inside. He was like on fire, his skin burning from all the emotions he had been trying to smother. They all broke free when Naruto's soft lips kept on kissing him, drowning him into something much more sweeter than what he had even dared to believe existed.

He broke free in order to breathe and when he gazed into the blue orbs, they were dark and soft, clouded with desire and he could almost swear there was also a sparkle of that fire he had felt inside a moment ago. The first rational thought that came into his mind was that he had failed miserably in his plan. Never had failure felt so good, though.

"Gaara... Don't ever speak rubbish like that again," Naruto whispered and embraced him.

"Naruto..." Gaara breathed, entwining his arms around the blond. His own heart thumped in his chest, slowly slowing down to its normal rhythm. There was no going back now. It was foolish to succumb to these feelings when he clearly knew it could all end in sorrow. But around Naruto it felt so good, so... natural.

One thing was sure now. Naruto wasn't going to leave, he couldn't let him go after this, not anymore. How had he even thought he could do it? Gaara hugged Naruto tighter, the closeness comforting him. He needed Naruto so much. He didn't want to—he couldn't—be without him, he needed the blond's happiness and care to live through the darkness that plagued his life. From now on, he just had to keep more secrets from both Naruto and his brother but it was okay. He could do it.

Right then, the front door clicked and Kankuro walked in, only to see his little brother hugging the suspiciously blushing blondie. Naruto almost squirmed in uncomfortableness because of the heated glares between the two brothers. He could feel Gaara's body tense all over and the redhead's hands gripped him even tighter. He was sure that if looks could kill, he would be dead ten times over already, for the coldness in Kankuro's black eyes almost rivalled with the chilly winter air outside.

Naruto wasn't sure why the atmosphere was so full of tension but he concluded it had to do with what Kankuro had said to him earlier. Maybe Gaara's brother really felt something for him and didn't like seeing him with the redhead?

After the venomous stare Kankuro had given to the teenagers, he got over from his shock and made a U-turn in his mind, forcing a normal, happy look onto his face. Only Gaara knew it was a facade in order to make things look different than they were in reality. The positive energy Kankuro was able to generate in such a short amount of time surprised Gaara, for the happiness—no matter how empty it was—was even greater than what Naruto could usually produce.

"The dinner will be ready soon. Would you like to stay and eat with us, Naruto?" Kankuro asked casually, putting his coat into the rack. He ignored the pointed stare from Gaara and smiled at the blond.

"Uh... O-okay. Thanks," Naruto stuttered, fooled by the dramatic change in the atmosphere. Maybe Kankuro had now accepted him and Gaara?

When Kankuro disappeared into the kitchen, Gaara broke free of the embrace and dragged Naruto into his room, closing the door behind them. How he wanted to go to the cellar but he couldn't, not with Naruto because he didn't want him to see all the paintings he had made. That part of himself he wasn't ready to show yet.

"Um, does your brother have a problem with us?" Naruto asked, feeling stupid at saying the question aloud. To him, Gaara's brother was hard to read, he couldn't understand why Kankuro had been cold at first and then, right after, like nothing had happened.

"I don't know," Gaara replied, even though he knew. "Don't think about him," he added, not wanting Naruto to ponder about Kankuro's behaviour. He then turned to look at his... friend? Or boyfriend? What were they now, exactly?

Naruto had said he loved him. Did he love him too, in return? Love... what was that, really? Devotion, care and loyalty, something like that? He wasn't sure if he was able to feel anything so pure and true, even though he admitted that he did love his brother. But what he felt towards Kankuro was different, it was love between family members. What if Naruto found out about him and Kankuro, would he be left alone then? Who would want someone like him anyway, dirty and used? Gaara's spirits sagged as his train of thoughts proceeded. What if Naruto thought he was guilty, a monster, like Kankuro had said? What if Naruto thought he was sick?

"Hey, cheer up! What on earth are you thinking to make you look so depressed?" Naruto asked, taking Gaara's hand and leading him to sit on the bed.

"Nothing," Gaara said. He let Naruto hold his hand and caress his palm. Would Naruto touch him if he knew how he'd been touched before? Would Naruto kiss him if he knew about all the awful things?

A soft kiss was placed on Gaara's cheek and he turned his gaze once again to Naruto. Then, the blond captured his lips into a gentle and short kiss. Gaara wondered why he let it happen, why he let Naruto conquer his heart like this. He couldn't be fully Naruto's, not as long as his brother was around. Still, he was already becoming addicted to the blond, he could already feel his shattered soul healing, albeit rather slowly.

Naruto lay down and gently pulled Gaara along, holding him in an embrace soon after. Gaara's skin was tingling again and his heart thumped loud in his chest. With Naruto it felt so good, so different. The warmness of the blond was burning his skin again but this time, he didn't escape it. Before this, he had feared he would get hurt, burned. He still feared how this all would end but it was different now, he wasn't afraid of Naruto anymore or his own feelings but how things would go from this moment on.

"So... are we together now?" Naruto asked, smoothing the red locks. When he had come to see Gaara earlier this day, he would've never believed how things would go. He was so happy! So utterly, impossibly, madly happy that he almost couldn't believe this all was happening.

"I guess so," Gaara said quietly, for it felt like a thing people usually said in situations like this. He wondered if he could fulfill Naruto's expectations, whatever they were.

The sound of plates hitting a table sounded from the kitchen and Gaara knew it was time to go to eat. He felt very uneasy at the idea of the three of them sitting at the same table, pretending like everything was alright. Well, Naruto wouldn't pretend since he was clueless but Gaara knew he and Kankuro would.

Soon, they were sitting at the table, looking hungrily at the pancakes Kankuro had made.

"Ah, I love pancakes!" Naruto exclaimed. "Iruka used to make them for me but nowadays, I only eat them rarely because I don't know how to prepare them," he continued, already taking fresh pancakes onto his plate.

Gaara looked at his brother from the corner of his eye. He knew why they were eating pancakes—it was a reconciliation because of last night. But he really liked pancakes and because of the gentle look Kankuro was giving him, he didn't feel so bad anymore. He hated that he couldn't stay mad at Kankuro for very long but his heart was stronger than his mind in this matter. At least his brother tried to be good and make everything up to him. He was still sore but the pancakes and the happiness radiating from Kankuro were lulling him into a feeling that everything was better now.

Usually, he was careful at not letting anything fool him into wrong images but he had a soft spot for his brother. He once more remembered all the things Kankuro had done for him and how things had been in their childhood. It really wasn't all Kankuro's fault what was happening in this house. His brother was sick but he hadn't asked for it, it wasn't his fault what had been done to him. After all, if their father's attitude had been different, his brother might not be like this today.

"So, did you get enough money from the old books?" Naruto asked casually from Kankuro, trying to break the ice and start a conversation. He didn't know what else to say and because Gaara had told him about the old junk Kankuro had taken to the flea market this morning, he felt it was a topic they could all discuss.

Upon hearing the question, Kankuro's eyes narrowed since he had no idea what the blondie was talking about. Gaara kicked him under the table, a signal that he should play along. Kankuro glared at his little brother from the corner of his eye, not glad at all that he was now pulled into a conversation based on something he hadn't even a clue about.

"Yeah. Twenty bucks," Kankuro said cautiously, wondering if it had been the right thing to say. Stupid Gaara, what had he told the blondie?

"Wow, that's much! When I took some old stuff to the flea market in the center of Konoha, the old hag in there gave me only a few dollars! A few dollars, even though the junk was of good quality and all!" Naruto exclaimed between the mouthfuls.

"I see," was all Kankuro replied, still not sure what their conversation was about. He was more serious now because of his unsureness, even though he tried to maintain his carefree and friendly facade.

"Yeah. You were lucky," Naruto said, hungrily wolfing down the delicious pancakes. He wondered why Gaara's brother seemed to get wary after he had started the conversation. Maybe Kankuro thought it was rude of him to ask about their money? Some people were like that.

The conversation died out after that and soon, all the pancakes were eaten.

"Gaara, can I have a word with you?" Kankuro asked, collecting the plates.

Gaara nodded and Naruto got the hint, going to the redhead's room and leaving the brothers alone.

"What the hell was that about?" Kankuro hissed after making sure that the blondie wasn't within earshot.

"Naruto was suspicious why I was in pain and I told him I hurt my back while carrying books down from the attick. When he wanted to see the books I told you took them to the flea market this morning," Gaara answered quietly.

"What? What a stupid lie! Haven't I taught you how to make up good, believable lies or are you just unable to use your brains to come up with a better story?" Kankuro whispered angrily. Even though the blondie seemed to be a bit dense, it would all go to waste if the redhead kept on telling such ridiculous lies.

"But he seemed to buy it," Gaara snapped, equally quiet. "And if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have had to lie in the first place!"

"I already told you I'm sorry! I... I try to be good to you, Gaara... I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you," Kankuro said in a hushed voice, a pained and sad expression on his face.

"I know," Gaara replied, keeping his voice down. He couldn't forgive yet but the guilty expression on his brother's face was melting his heart. He was already about to leave when Kankuro spoke again.

"Why were you hugging him?"

Gaara had feared for that question and that's why he had tried to leave before the conversation could proceed to this point. "I just felt like it."

"Felt like it? Gaara, you do realize you can't 'just feel like it'? He can't find out, you know that!" Kankuro whispered.

"I know!" Gaara snapped, annoyed. He didn't want the conversation to continue. It had been bad enough that Kankuro had seen them. Unlike he had at first thought, it was already proving hard to keep secrets from both his brother and Naruto. Still, he hadn't much of a choice.

-----

"When will you be back?" Kankuro asked as he looked at the two teenagers in the hallway.

"Tomorrow."

"But you have to study, you weren't at school today. I think it would be better if you stayed home," Kankuro protested. He didn't like Gaara staying overnight at Naruto's home. The lesser his little brother hung around with the blondie, the better. There was always the danger that Naruto wasn't as dim as he seemed to be.

"Naruto promised to help me catch up. Besides it's Friday, there won't be school tomorrow," Gaara argued back.

Kankuro looked at the two boys, annoyed that he didn't seem to have a chance to keep them separated. The blondie looked suspicious with the slight blush on his face. He was sure that something more than just one hug had happened, he just couldn't prove it.

"Fine. But remember to study, it's important for the both of you."

-----

That night, they didn't study or drink tea or stare into the flames like before. Actually, neither of them even remembered the school books buried in the depths of their bags.

They were lying on the bed, facing each other.

At first, Naruto had been clearly uneasy, not knowing what to do. They had ended up sitting on the bed like they did when they watched TV but neither of them had turned on the device. For once, Naruto had been at a loss for words and Gaara on the other hand, hadn't spoken for he had waited, not knowing what was expected of him. After a long moment of silence, Naruto had lay down, gently pulling Gaara next to him.

Now that they were together—as weird and new as the concept still felt—Naruto slowly let all his suppressed feelings come into the surface. As much as he was ruled by his emotions, he had kept most of them under control around Gaara this far, not wanting to act incorrectly or scare the redhead away. Wanting to have some sort of contact to the currently serious Gaara, he gently placed his hand on the other's waist and with slow motions, smoothed his boyfriend's side through the fabric of the black shirt. Gaara was so warm, he could feel his body warmth radiating through the thin layer of clothes. How hot would it be without any clothes between them, just skin on skin?

Quickly, Naruto shook the all too tempting thoughts out of his mind. He shouldn't think so fast, for only today had Gaara accepted him, after his confession of love. They really shouldn't rush things because it had taken them this long to get to this point and he didn't want to ruin it by hurrying. Even though his rationality now fought with his desires and was certainly winning, he felt his own skin get hot, much hotter than what he was comfortable with, and it didn't help that even one glance from the jade eyes set his senses on fire.

The gentle contact was to Gaara's liking and he was getting more accustomed to their position. He was afraid, even though he shouldn't—he could trust Naruto, there was no reason to be tense. Still, he couldn't fully relax, for this situation was new to him. Surely Naruto would now have some more expectations from him? Would he be able to fulfill them? And what were those unspoken expectations? Gaara really didn't know, so he relied on his conclusions based on his earlier experiences. Surely Naruto had some sexual desire, he could see it shining through the blue orbs. But how fast should they proceed? How fast did people usually proceed? Again, Gaara found himself not knowing for sure. He had liked kissing, it had been pure and honest, without any ulterior motives. But what if it wouldn't be enough for Naruto? After all, Naruto really thought he was just another normal teenager. How wrong the blond was. But he could never know about the truth...

Gaara closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together. Naruto let out a quiet, muffled moan and eagerly responded, to Gaara's pleasure. At least for now, he seemed to have done the right thing. Maybe now he had fulfilled even one of those mysterious expectations. Maybe now Naruto would be pleased with him and nothing bad would happen. Encouraged by the increasing groans from the blond, Gaara slipped his hand under the orange shirt, his hand skin on skin with the tanned waist. This was easy, he knew all about this. His unsureness decreased as the blond seemed to enjoy, encouraging him.

The desire was harder and harder to keep under control, and so Naruto broke free from the kiss and turned to lay on his back. Who would have believed Gaara was so eager? It was strange to Naruto, for he had expected Gaara to be more withdrawn and even shy, yet here the redhead was, inching closer to him again, until Gaara was half-laying on top of Naruto. As Gaara's hip sweetly pressed against his erection, Naruto let out a gasp and his hold on the redhead's arms tightened.

"Ah," he groaned, his blue eyes half-closed. By now, his skin was officially burning with need and want, every fiber in his body flooded with overwhelming emotions, driving him almost to a trance-like state. Was this really happening? It all felt so unreal, like too good to be true. There was some strange chemistry between them, for never had Naruto felt more alive than now. Still, on top of all his feelings were the affection and love he felt. He never wanted to hurt Gaara, never. He loved his precious redhead from the bottom of his heart, and at that thought, the blood rushed even faster in his veins, causing his heart to thump louder.

Gaara inspected the tanned face keenly, seeking for guidance what he was expected to do. Kankuro was always so straightforward, there was never need for hesitation but now, he was a bit unsure. As he felt Naruto's erection press against his hip, he knew what to do. Were they moving on too fast? But then again, he had learned that he should be the one to give pleasure to others. Kankuro expected that. Everyone did, didn't they?

Sitting up, he moved to straddle Naruto's thighs, noticing the blond tense at the change of position. He was confident, though, that things between people went this way, for any other kind of order he had no experience of. He didn't know any other way to act, so he did what he knew best. He wanted to be normal and Naruto brought him closer to that goal. Normal partners were like this, weren't they? Yes, this was the right thing to do. Kankuro had always liked it and why wouldn't Naruto, too? Besides, this way he would surely fulfill even more of Naruto's expectations. Deep down, he was afraid that Naruto might be disappointed in him if it turned out that he wasn't all that normal. That's why it would be vital for him to act normal, confident. That way, Naruto wouldn't suspect a thing and all the carefully protected secrets would remain secret.

"Naruto..." Gaara whispered, trailing his hand along Naruto's chest to his hips, teasingly squeezing them. He knew all about this. Why would Naruto be any different in this, surely he too would enjoy those things Kankuro had told him to do.

"Ah... Gaara," Naruto gasped, not believing this was happening. Even greater wave of surprisement washed over him as Gaara's hand moved to caress his erection through his thin, baggy pants. "Haa!" Naruto moaned, not sure if they should move this fast but since this was happening, he didn't want to stop it. Gaara seemed willing and he himself surely was, too, so to him, everything seemed alright.

A smirk Naruto had never seen before appeared on Gaara's face as the redhead squeezed the blond's throbbing member. Naruto looked so innocent, so submissive. Wavering feelings of power filled Gaara but he didn't dare to let them control him, for he didn't exactly know what they were. Still, now he was on top, no one was forcing him. He had the power.

"Ah," Naruto gasped and jerked his hips towards Gaara, not knowing how long he could actually take it before going over the edge. He was already so aroused that he needed little stimulating in order to come. He had dreamed about this for so long and now when this was real, it felt hundred times better than he had imagined.

"Please..." Naruto whispered needily, his nails digging on Gaara's thighs. He saw the smirk widen a bit at the plea and the jade eyes darkened. It looked incredibly sexy to Naruto, who bucked his hips upwards again, moaning as the pale hand rubbed him and squeezed him in ways he hadn't even dreamed of.

"Oh god... I-I'm so close," Naruto gasped and his grip on Gaara's thighs tightened. The one last squeeze sent him over the edge, a white-hot pleasure flooding all over his body as Gaara kept on caressing him. "Aah! Gaara!" Naruto couldn't help but moan his boyfriend's name as he looked at him with his dark, desire-filled blue eyes. At that moment, he didn't give a damn that he had just soiled his favorite pants.

Gaara lay down, next to the spent blond. The pleasure and satisfaction on the tanned face had gotten him excited, for deep down, he too was a hormonal teenager. He hoped Naruto was now happy, that he had fulfilled the unspoken expectations. From now on, he wasn't sure what he should do so he just waited, not noticing how deep the submissive mannerism was in him.

Naruto turned to lie on his side to face the redhead. The smirk was now gone and replaced with an impassive, waiting look. "Gaara... you're amazing," was all Naruto could think of, for at the moment it felt like the feelings he had were undescribable in all their intensity. He wondered if Gaara was still a virgin. For some reason, it was hard for him to imagine Gaara being with anyone, mostly because to his knowledge, no one had gotten this close to him before. Maybe Gaara was a natural, then? Either way, those things didn't matter so much to Naruto. The only thing that mattered was that Gaara was now his and that he had accepted his care and love.

Pressing his lips to Gaara's, Naruto trailed his hand along the black-clad body, wanting his boyfriend to feel good, too. Gaara let it happen and didn't protest when Naruto's hand trailed lower, hooking his finger in the loop of the tight jeans. It was when Naruto moved to caress the bulge in the tight jeans that Gaara let out a quiet gasp, muffeled by their kiss.

"I want you to enjoy, too," Naruto said, breaking the lip-contact. He wanted Gaara to feel the same pleasure as he had. He wanted his redhead only to feel good and wanted, loved, and when Gaara gave him no signal of resistance, he took it as a permission.

Gently, he rubbed the bulge in the jeans, not at all so confident as the redhead had seemed to be. Still, Naruto wanted to try his best, he wanted to give his everything and even more to Gaara. He adored the reaction his actions seemed to cause. There was a faint blush on the pale face and the jade eyes were fogged, almost getting Naruto hard again.

"Naruto..." Gaara whispered, unsure how he should respond. This was all so new to him, yet still somewhat familiar. It felt good, even though he was a bit scared that things were happening so rapidly. He was still sore from last night but at a moment like this, he tried his best to suppress thoughts of anything unpleasant.

He didn't protest when Naruto asked his permission to open the button and zipper of his jeans, for he had learned to agree it. Besides, if this was what Naruto wanted, why should he deny it from him? He didn't want to be a disappointment. He didn't want Naruto to leave him, he couldn't let him go anymore. Besides, there was nothing wrong in giving into this, this wasn't wrong or immoral. It was when Naruto's warm hand gently touched his hardened member that he snapped out of his thoughts, gasping and gripping the blond's shoulders even tighter. When Naruto squeezed him gently and started to stroke him after that, it started to feel really good, and so he closed his eyes. Out of nowhere, an image of his brother popped into his mind and for a moment, it felt too real—like it was his brother next to him, not his precious Naruto. In a second, the black-rimmed eyes were open again, in hopes of suppressing that kind of memories. He didn't want to think like that, not now!

The desire on Naruto's face turned him on and the innocence glowing from the blond even at a moment like this never ceased to surprise him. He remembered how much alike Naruto looked now than when he had been asleep, moaning because of some dream he had been seeing. Naruto's touch felt so good and moment by moment, the intensity of the feeling increased.

"Naruto..." Gaara gasped quietly, trying to concentrate on his feelings rather than his thoughts.

When his release neared, his thoughts started to spin more faster and he wasn't able to control them anymore. Naruto was so innocent, so pure. He himself wasn't. No, he shouldn't think about that now! Instinctively, he jerked his hips towards Naruto's hand and then, he felt a tinge of pain in his rear, making all kinds of memories flash before his eyes. The feeling of soon-to-be release was bringing back memories which his body seemed to remember better than his mind, and when he was near the edge, a halting, dreadful feeling came over him and his eyes snapped wide open.

"No!" Gaara exclaimed, quickly turning his back to Naruto and bringing his knees close to his chest. Some horrible, undescribable feeling was filling him, something akin to fear. It had felt like time had stopped, like even the blood had stagnated in his veins.

"P-please don't," Gaara whispered, back in his accustomed pleading mannerism without even noticing it himself. He half-expected Naruto to continue and ignore his protests, for that was the only way of handling these kinds of situations he had experience of. He felt like leaving the room but stayed still, for only yesterday he had been jerked back to the bed in similar circumstances. He was afraid. What if Naruto would now be displeased with him and get back at him? In his confused, almost panicked state of mind, Gaara couldn't see that Naruto wasn't like Kankuro at all.

"Gaara? What's wrong?" Naruto asked, gently touching the redhead's shoulder. He was dumbfounded, wondering what he had done wrong. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, I didn't mean to."

As the tanned hand kept on smoothing his shoulder, Gaara relaxed a bit. He still didn't turn around, for he didn't want Naruto to see the anxiousness he couldn't hide. He was so embarrassed for acting weird like this. It would be no wonder if Naruto got suspicious now. But how could he ever explain this to Naruto, when he couldn't even explain this to himself? No, this couldn't happen again. Maybe this time Naruto would be patient with him but in the future, the blond would surely get impatient like his brother did.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said quietly, the first thing that came into his mind. He felt guilty for ruining everything, for not fulfilling Naruto's expectations.

"What? You have nothing to be sorry about!" Naruto exclaimed, inching closer to his boyfriend in order to hug him from behind. "Gaara... It's me who should be sorry. I clearly upset you."

Staying silent, Gaara just waited. He wanted to belive Naruto, from the depths of his heart he wanted to believe that the blond would be nothing like his brother. Still, he kept on waiting for the anger and impatience which led to him getting hurt, for that he was accustomed to.

"Look, maybe we proceeded a bit too fast. We don't have to hurry, okay?" Naruto then spoke again, holding his precious person tenderly. He felt bad at letting his hormones get the better of him. The truth was, he had desired Gaara for so long that when the redhead had finally responded, he had been blinded by his own happiness and desire, forgetting all the rational reasoning. "If you ask me, I don't really mind if we proceed slowly. What's most important to me is that we're together, no matter what we do."

"Naruto..." Gaara whispered, desperately wanting to believe that the blond was truthful.

"Gaara, I... I love you, I would never hurt you," Naruto said, meaning every word.

At the confession, Gaara slowly turned around and faced the blond, his face now almost void of the earlier fear and unsureness. He was more relaxed than before and slowly, the guilt was vanishing. But seriously, things like this couldn't happen anymore. It was hard though, for Gaara didn't honestly know how he should act, so he acted like he'd learned to. Besides, he hadn't foreseen this happening... Was he really this far from normalcy? It was a depressing fact to face and Gaara wondered if he would ever be able to be like everyone else.

Naruto looked at the pale face, adoring every feature of it. He was so very happy but at the same time, very worried, too. Gaara felt so... fragile, so scared. He couldn't understand why Gaara had acted that way. Was he only shy, inexperienced or was it something else? But surely Gaara wasn't too inexperienced, for the way he had touched him made him blush even now.

Or maybe his own eagerness had scared the redhead? After all, he knew Gaara didn't easily let people close to him, not to mention touch him. He, if anyone, should know that. But why had Gaara been so sorry, when clearly nothing had been his fault? The Gaara he knew, the one that had strangled him at school and had angrily dropped him down from the couch today, certainly wouldn't apologize too easily. But did he really know Gaara? Hadn't the redhead said to him only today that he didn't know him at all. What had that even meant? Naruto had no idea how to interpret it properly, so he just let the weird words hang in his mind, puzzling him.

"How do you feel now?" Naruto asked, gently looking at the redhead next to him. He wanted to make sure everything was alright, or as alright as things could be after something like this.

"I'm okay," Gaara said, even though he was a little unnerved. In his mind, he could hear Kankuro's warnings of not letting Naruto get suspicious and the threats of what he would do if anyone found out. A cold feeling came over Gaara. In what had he gotten himself into?

"Gaara... please tell me if you don't want me to do something, okay? I'm sorry, I really hope I didn't ruin everything," Naruto said, wondering how weird his words sounded to him. Until now, he certainly hadn't needed to encourage Gaara to tell him what he didn't like, for the redhead had always snapped at him or at least glared at him whenever he had invaded his personal space without his permission. This didn't quite fit into his image of Gaara and he had a distinct feeling that some pieces were missing, like when Gaara had told him earlier today his reasons of skipping school. Something didn't quite fit in but he couldn't tell what. It could certainly be only his imagination for the more he thought about things, the more confusing they got.

"You didn't ruin anything," Gaara said and then, after remembering something, turned his gaze to Naruto, "You should go to the shower."

Naruto blushed, though he agreed that a warm shower would certainly wash away the sticky feeling he had. "But I don't want to leave you alone so soon. I feel like it's better for me to stay here, beside you."

"You can go, I'll be fine," Gaara assured. Besides, he wanted a moment of solitude to sort out his feelings.

After a moment Naruto was in the bathroom and Gaara stared out of the livingroom window into the dark night. From the glass, he could see his own reflection. He looked like always, yet he wasn't the same anymore. For the first time, his mask had shattered in Naruto's presence. That could never happen again. He had a mask for a reason and this far, only his brother had been able to take it off. It was all so confusing. He trusted Naruto, cherished him, yet he was still cautious and afraid. Naruto wouldn't hurt him, he knew that, yet he feared that the same things that happened with Kankuro, would happen again with Naruto. That wouldn't happen, he knew that. Naruto had never been nothing but trustworthy and friendly. He knew his fears were unreasonable but even though his brain realized this, the cautiousness still didn't leave his heart.

Gaara leaned his forehead against the cool glass and closed his eyes. A part of him wanted to leave and go home, only to avoid his embarrassment growing any stronger. At home, though, there was his brother who'd surely ask questions endlessly if he returned. It would be hard to lie, for he wasn't a person of untruth, and so Kankuro might get wind of what was going on between him and Naruto. It'd be best to stay here, after all. He admitted he had a desire for Naruto but all the ghosts of the past and present were haunting him, distracting him.

Those ghosts actually weren't as far away as Gaara thought, for in the darkness of the night, Kankuro was looking at the red haired figure leaning against the window. Kankuro had become suspicious and when his own doubts and guesses had almost driven him mad, he had finally gone out and lurked behind the windows, spying the two teenagers. He had seen everything, and things were just as he suspected.

Letting out a sigh, Gaara collected himself. When he lifted his head to once more look at his reflection, he almost thought he saw someone out there but after a blink, he saw no one at all. Now his mask was back on, like always, and he turned away from the window.

In the bathroom, Naruto was drying himself on the towel. The image of curled up and fragile Gaara kept on haunting his mind. It disturbingly reminded him of himself but as soon as the thought emerged, he pushed it away into the darkness of his subconscious. He was so confused. Should he be worried? Well, whatever the answer to that question was, he'd still worry. Gaara was an enigma to him. There was something oddly familiar in him, something he couldn't put his finger on.

He hoped he hadn't ruined everything and that Gaara wouldn't run away from him. He was afraid and insecure, even though he always let the smile on his face tell otherwise. He just hoped he could be normal, like everybody else. He didn't have many friends and people always ignored him, thinking he was weird, an outcast. But with Gaara he felt comfortable because Gaara wasn't like everyone else. No, Gaara didn't get bored of his talking or belittle him, telling him he was an idiot like most people did. Maybe it was because they both were a bit like outcasts that it felt so easy to him to be around the redhead.

From the bottom of his heart he hoped that Gaara wouldn't turn out to be like Sasuke. He couldn't take it if he lost another precious person. The feelings he had for Gaara were much, much stronger than those he had had for Sasuke, and that made it all the more important that Gaara wouldn't leave him.

When Gaara saw Naruto emerge from the bathroom, he noticed the sad look in the blue eyes. Now when he really looked at Naruto, he admitted he was beautiful, handsome. Why was it so easy for Naruto to conquer him like this? There was something strange in the blond, something that made him relax around him and feel safe, yet at the same time, there was a spark between them, making him even more drawn to him. Naruto was so contradictory. For the most of the time, he was cheerful and full of happiness but at times, when the blond thought no one saw—like now—sadness took over his features, darkening the shine in the blue orbs.

It intrigued Gaara what made Naruto so sad. He knew that relationships and especially friends worried Naruto, even to the point it wasn't reasonable anymore. He had told the blond that it wasn't truly important what other people thought about him but Naruto never believed. No, Naruto wanted to be friends with everyone and, Gaara had noticed, it hurt Naruto when most people ignored him. It was so like Naruto to brush it off instantly and smile widely like nothing had happened. But still, Gaara sensed the mysterious sadness, knowing that often, Naruto's happiness was fake. When they were together though, his blond radiated cheerfulness that was so powerful that it had to be true, for it rubbed off on him too.

"Why are you so sad?" Gaara asked. Usually, he let Naruto's moods come and go but now, he felt he had some sort of obligation to ask.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, dumbfounded, for he hadn't noticed Gaara standing there in the shadowy livingroom. In a second, he wiped off the sadness from his face, only to replace it with a wide smile. "It's nothing. I was just thinking, that's all. Are you feeling better already?"

"Yes," Gaara replied. The mask was back on his face again and he felt safer. Now his secrets were safely locked away again, far from the surface.

They were on the bed again, ready to sleep. Gaara was holding Naruto against his chest like that one night when he had wanted to protect him. Gaara was gazing at the blue orbs, wondering what he should do, what was expected of him to do. Naruto looked so calm and gently, he smoothed the blond locks. One day, he'd paint a picture of Naruto for sure.

"I'm sorry I upset you earlier, I really am. We shouldn't have moved on so fast, it was my fault. Gaara... you mean so much to me and I don't want to hurt you, never," Naruto said.

"It wasn't your fault," Gaara said, his tone of voice hinting that he wished to end the particular conversation. Could it be that Naruto didn't expect anything from him? Or at least not those things he had assumed? The blond had looked so honest when he had spoken. Maybe he wouldn't have to be afraid of not being able to offer everything, at least not this instant.

"Are you mad at me?" Naruto asked suddenly. It was another thing that haunted him. What if Gaara was secretly angry at him and would dump him soon?

"No. If I were, I'd already left," Gaara said. There was Naruto again, worrying about things.

As an answer, a wide smile appeared on the tanned face and the blue of Naruto's eyes turned warmer and lighter. "Good."

The undefined expectations still bugged Gaara. The unsureness made him feel weak and cautious and he wanted to get rid of those feelings. After a long moment of hesitation if it would be suspicious to ask or not, he finally opened his mouth and spoke, "What do you want from me?"

"What do I want? Um... I just want to be with you and know that you're mine and that I'm yours. I don't know... It really doesn't matter what we do as long as we're together," Naruto answered, not sure how to phrase his thoughts. To him, relationships weren't about expectations, they were about commitment and devotion.

The answer somewhat relaxed Gaara, even though it saddened him that he couldn't be fully Naruto's. At that thought, his heart missed a beat as realization fully hit him. He'd still have to be with his brother, there would still be no escape from that part of reality. No matter what he felt for Naruto, it would change nothing, nothing at all. His feelings didn't matter, they had never mattered. Now that he thought about all this, it was very depressing.

Then, Gaara felt soft lips against his own, reminding him that at this precise moment, life was good. Naruto made his skin tingle and his heart beat faster. Did he love him? Would he dare to love him back, when he couldn't even be fully his? He had tried to protect himself so well, at first from any kind of acquaintance with the blond, then from friendship and today, he had tried to protect himself from both of their emotions. But every time, Naruto had managed to penetrate those walls he had tried to set up. There was something in Naruto, something that allowed him to let him this close. He still wasn't sure if it was love what he felt. What love even was? It was all so confusing...

"Goodnight," Naruto whispered sleepily. He curled up closer to Gaara, enjoying the warmness and safety, and what was most important, the closeness and human contact. He wasn't alone. In this dark, little house, where all the memories of the past still lived with him, he wasn't alone. Now there was Gaara and even though he knew they wouldn't be together like this every night, the knowledge that there was someone who cared for him was enough to comfort him. Before sleep overtook him, distant memories of his childhood in the orphanage popped into his mind, almost making him see nightmares but then, his hold on Gaara tightened and comforted him, dissolving the dark images.

In the darkness of the night Gaara kept on thinking, unable to sleep because of his insomnia. The long hours felt like forever but it was fine for him. He wished he wouldn't have to go home the next day. It would be wonderful if everything just mysteriously sorted out during the night, if he wouldn't have to go through certain things anymore. It was a foolish desire. It couldn't come true. That gave Gaara all the reason to stay awake and enjoy the sleeping Naruto's presence, until the dawn would come and separate them. He could always sleep at home. Now, all he wanted was to feel the blond next to him, hugging him in his sleep.

To be continued...

A/N: I drew a picture about this chapter (it's about Naruto and Gaara), see my profile for link.

Hmm... I hope you won't wonder too much why Gaara's having problems with coming when he's with Naruto. It's not just a product of my imagination, those things really happen to people like Gaara.

Naruto's character is finally deepening (the way I want), it wasn't possible until now. I hope that I succeed in describing Naruto as honest, patient and loving person because I really don't believe there's people like that in real life. Everyone has an ulterior motive. I know there are people like Kankuro and Gaara for sure but Naruto... well, no, not possible. Still, I try to write him to be a good, loving person, for as much as I dislike to admit it, I foolishy want to believe that somewhere in this world, there's a person like that.

About the currency: I chose that they're using dollars, for I think dollars fit nicely in English. At first I thought they'd use euros but then I let it be. :P

I think that the song "Betty Blue" by The 69 Eyes describes Gaara's thoughts/feelings about Naruto in a way. :) Go and listen to that song in Youtube!! :D Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGg-xaxbenI

"We're like two fingers of the same hand
The Hand of Fate writing on the sand
What does it matter
What does it mean
Can you see the difference
In the lines between

I'm gonna run away with you
Gonna run away into your eyes blue
I'm gonna run away with you
I'm gonna run away—into your eyes blue

We're like two fingers of the same hand
Beautiful strangers of the strange land
What does it matter
What does it mean
Can you feel the difference
And the passion between

I'm gonna run away with you
Gonna run away into your eyes blue
I'm gonna run away with you
Gonna run away into your eyes blue..."

The 69 Eyes: Betty Blue