Double Edged

Shout out and thanks to Jiraiyasgirl for the marvelous fan art… as well as that shower pic of Kakashi. Good LORD, is that drool-worthy! Be sure to check both pieces out at her deviantart account!


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Song Reference: What Do They Know?

Artist: Mindless Self Indulgence

Lyrics: Jump the gun, bust a cap, hit the ground/Yo, yo, yo word/My tendency’s never returned/Received like a big fat jerk/I’ve been silly but not absurd/Cause you know that’s what I heard/Tell ya thoughts that’s most impure/So everything’s splendid, sure/I’m just there to injure.


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It had taken a lot longer than Kakashi had estimated, but after nearly eleven days of steady traveling they were almost there. If he’d had his way, they would have pushed straight through the last few miles and gotten it over with… but Lord Tsuigetsu insisted on taking one last break before meeting up with the waiting Grass Ninja. At first, Kakashi was reluctant to allow this, seeing as they were only about a mile away from the border, but he changed his mind after taking in all the exhausted faces watching him, all of them pleading silently for a quick pit stop. He challenged anyone to resist forty pairs of puppy eyes directed on them all at one time.

Kakashi remained standing near the front of the group, Icha Icha in hand while the servants talked softly from where they sat. A few people were moving through the group, offering water and snacks as they went. The atmosphere was relaxed, the fact that they were almost to the relative safety of Grass country causing this false sense of calm. It didn’t seem to matter that Grass Country wasn’t their final destination. They were just happy that the first leg of their journey was almost over.

Glancing around, he caught sight of Anko showing off her shuriken to some of the children traveling with their parents, earning her quiet ‘wows’ and ‘oh, cools’ from the boys and little surprised squeaks from the girls. Kotetsu was stationed directly next to Lord Tsuigetsu and his wife, his body tense and face set grimly. Whether the obvious discomfort was because Lord Tsuigetsu was pestering him about being diligent or because he was doing just that was anyone’s guess. Kakashi flipped to the next page in his book, not at all remorseful that he’d stuck the chuunin on personal guard duty. At least he didn’t have to worry about Kotetsu beating their client to a pulp, unlike a certain missing student of his.

It was incredibly hot today, especially for the area being well into the fall months. The sun beat down overhead, mercilessly hot without a sign of clouds to help provide a little reprieve. Kakashi could feel the sweat sticking against his mask and was half tempted just to pull it down for a quick breather. It certainly wasn’t helping things that there were absolutely none of Konoha’s familiar trees around any longer. As they’d gotten closer and closer to Grass, the forests had dwindled down until it was nothing but tall, flat grasslands with the occasional scrawny tree peaking up against a sky that was nearly white in color. There was absolutely no protection from sun out here, and several people were showing the results of that on their bare shoulder and faces.

He’d always been a little reluctant to accept missions taking him into Grass just because of the scenery. It all looked the same; some shade of brown, pale green, grey or dull white. Nothing to see for miles except overgrown weeds, and the smell of grasses always made him want to sneeze. By definition, it wasn’t a wasteland… but it seriously ranked a close second after Wind country as being Most Boring Scenery In Existence.

But there was no reason to think gloomy thoughts. Just one more mile and then they could say goodbye to the client and hurry back home, where it was nice and cool under thick trees and there was always something interesting to look at. Such as a certain pink-haired chuunin’s legs.

Damn it… Kakashi let out a low, irritated puff of breath and frowned. Thoughts of Sakura had plagued him for the last eleven days, not including the one night where he’d actually dreamed about her. As far as he was concerned, the dream didn’t count anyway. For some reason, it had involved a platypus… a purple one at that. What could he say? His subconscious was a strange place.

Really odd dreams involving a purple marsupial aside, constantly having his thoughts turn back to Sakura had not only provided some much needed distraction from the boring scenery but it was also every bit as irritating as he’d known it would be. He kept replaying everything from their last date over and over again, trying to see if perhaps he’d missed some vital clue. After eleven days of thinking it through… nothing except he now couldn’t decide if it was more fun pissing her off or making her blush. It had been a frustrating eleven days, that was for sure. She hadn’t been this annoying since she’d been a boy-crazed genin under his tutelage.

Though, in all fairness to Sakura, it wasn’t entirely her fault. After all, she couldn’t control what his subconscious decided to dwell upon. And in his defense… How could he not think about her? She was certainly hard to forget about, and not just because she was easy on the eyes or a pretty good kisser. That last kiss especially… He’d known she was a feisty girl, but this was the second time she’d literally grabbed him and kissed him. While not at all unpleasant (he did like his women with a bit of spunk in them), it was a little embarrassing someone fourteen years his junior was proving more dominant in a romantic sense. Well, he’d just have to do something about that when he got back. After all, he had promised her a date somewhere nice to make up for the hiking portion of their last date.

Speaking of their last date though… His latest plan involving the ninken had backfired abysmally. He couldn’t prove it, but Kakashi was almost positive Sakura had swayed his dogs somehow. It was a gut feeling and he’d learned long ago to listen when it said something wasn’t right. This time, it was saying his dogs had mutinied in favor of a petite, pink-haired girl with a freakish amount of charm. Traitors… He had to hand it to Sakura though; she’d even managed to convince Pakkun to side with her. She was either much better than he’d anticipated or just insanely lucky. At this point in the game, he was beginning to think it was the former.

Well, whatever she’d done to convince them had worked. And if those mutts thought he was letting them sleep on the couch after this they were sorely mistaken. Hopefully, a pretty girl feeding them mochi (he’d already reminded Jubei that begging for food was not acceptable conduct) was worth the discomfort of sleeping outside.

Seeing as the canine perspective had bombed completely, maybe a new tactic was in order. Maybe instead of focusing on both of Sakura’s potential targets he should just pick one and run with it. It was a fifty-fifty chance that he’d be correct anyway. Even if he was wrong, at least he’d know for certain it was the other one. And once that mystery was solved… he would track down whoever talked her into doing this in the first place. Yes… This was a good plan. It wasn’t completely ideal but it was certainly his best bet for the time being. Now the question was; which did he go with, the mask or the book?

On the one hand, with the way she’d been trying to get him to kiss her without the mask he was inclined to think that was the one. However… she was trying to seduce him. That meant she would want to establish a more intimate connection between them as soon as possible, so it made sense from that stand point that she’d want a mask-less kiss.

Then again… she was also proving to be a bit cleverer than he’d thought, especially seeing as she’d conned the ninken into going along with her plan. She could be using the mask as a decoy in order to get to his book. It was a smart move… if that was what she was doing. After all, she hadn’t gone for the book he’d borrowed from Ino, otherwise the Henge no Jutsu would have been broken.

Sighing heavily, Kakashi closed his book and tucked it under one arm as he dug out a worn coin from inside his pocket. A quick toss would decide which he angle he would work from. Heads, he’d operate like she was after the book. Tails, and it’d be the mask. Balancing the coin against his finger and thumb, Kakashi flipped it into the air, the metal making a sharp ping against his thumbnail as it was sent airborne. He watched the dulled copper disc flip end over end in the air, tracking the movement as he stretched out his palm to catch it.

A hand appeared out from nowhere and snatched the coin in one violent swipe, leaving him staring at his empty palm blankly. Slowly, he directed his gaze over at the owner of that hand, who was snickering as she flipped the coin neatly back and forth over her fingers. “Whatcha doing, sempai?” Anko mocked, completely unaware that he was frowning at her.

“Thinking,” he replied as he opened his book once again, hoping she’d take the hint that he wasn’t about to entertain her like she was a kid. Anko had made it very clear during the course of the mission that she was bored to tears.

All of them had suspected that something wasn’t quite right with the request for an elite escort for a mission that was at best a B-rank, but other than a fox that had snuck into their camp a few nights ago everything had been nice and quiet. Well… as quiet as they could be with a bored kunoichi to deal with. Anko had been growing increasingly antsy with the lack of action and apparently the best way to take that out was by tormenting her teammates. Usually, Kotetsu was her preferred target since Kakashi had perfected the art of ignoring the annoying, but it seemed this time the chuunin was successful in hiding from her.

“Thinking about… what?” Anko pressed as she continued to idly flip his coin back and forth over her knuckles.

“Whether I should switch from boxer briefs to boxers.”

Anko snorted and flicked the coin up into the air. She fisted it in mid-air, wrapping her fingers so tightly around it that her fingers whitened. “And that required a coin toss?”

Kakashi shrugged, unperturbed that she wasn’t taking the hint he wasn’t game. “It’s a tough decision. Boxers, though comfortable, tend to let things swing a bit more freely than a shinobi should allow. However, boxer briefs have a nasty habit of riding up, which isn’t exactly a comfortable thing. What you do you think?”

“I think you’re full of shit. I also think I don’t wanna know about anything going on in your pants,” she retorted. Then, as if she’d just remembered something delightful, a beaming smile spread across her face as she drawled coyly, “Speaking of things in your pants…”

Oh, god.

“… What’s this I hear about you and the Hokage’s apprentice?”

Oh, good. Relieved she wasn’t going to make a comment about his southern bits, Kakashi turned a page and answered, “I don’t know what you’ve heard, Anko, so I can’t tell you.”

Anko shoved his shoulder roughly, which finally earned her a reaction in the form of a mild glare. “Don’t play dumb with me, Hatake! Are you off the meat market or not?”

“Is that what it’s called nowadays? That’s disturbing.”

Growling in frustration, Anko tapped a finger on the upper edge of Icha Icha and forced it downward in an attempt to look him in the eye. Kakashi didn’t humor her, opting instead to follow the text rather than meet her gaze. “Fine,” she huffed. “Meat market’s too butch for you? Wanna braid hair and share secrets next?”

“I don’t think either of our hair styles are good for braiding, and secrets aren’t really supposed to be shared.”

She let out a long, low breath that bordered close to an exacerbated groan. “Okay… fine. Hatake Kakashi, are you fucking the Hokage’s apprentice?”

“No.” And he had no intention to either. This was all about educating Sakura in the dangers of trying to seduce someone. He’d rather she learn it through someone she knew than being tossed head first into a mission that was completely beyond her ability to handle.

Missions that involved seduction were the most dangerous in his opinion. There was greater room for mistakes, a higher risk factor for everyone involved and there was almost always some sort of emotional complication. If the target was particularly vile or sadistic, the ninja assigned usually left with some sort of mental scar that carried over into their everyday life. But, if the target was actually rather nice and a decent sort of person… it hurt more than it normally did to stab them in the back. That was why he’d decided to play along with Sakura’s game rather than ask her point-blank what she was after. This was a much safer setting for her to learn in rather than out in the field where people depended on her.

“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Anko declared as she planted her hands on her hips and leaned closer toward him. “So, you’re not fucking her. Does this mean the rumors that you’re actually dating her are true?” The way she asked it sounded as if it was the most shocking thing she’d heard in a long time.

Kakashi resisted the urge to sigh and murmured, “We’ll be moving soon, so I’d suggest returning to your post.”

“I’ll take that as a yes then,” she smirked. “Kakashi, the Cradle Robber of Konoha! Ha!” Her laughter was loud and mocking as she flipped the coin back to him and began walking toward the back once again. Kakashi caught the coin and jammed it into his pocket. It was a good thing she hadn’t tried to keep it. That was the only coin he had and he needed it later to finish his coin toss.

Sighing and shaking his head at the eccentric woman, Kakashi went back to finishing up the last page he’d be able to read for a little while. The Cradle Robber of Konoha… He couldn’t wait for that title to get entered in the Bingo Books. Closing Icha Icha, Kakashi placed it in the pouch on his belt and did a quick scan of the group. He frowned when he noticed a couple mothers shooting nervous glances at him as they ushered their young daughters away from his general area. Apparently, they’d overheard Anko’s comment and were now afraid he was going to ravish their little ones. How lovely.

As if putting his book away was the signal they’d been waiting for, the servants began getting to their feet and preparing to move once again. Kakashi caught Kotetsu’s eye and nodded once toward the younger man to let him know they were leaving. Kotetsu nodded back before turning to inform a rather irritated looking lord what was going on. Obviously, Tsuigetsu wasn’t quite ready to leave… but they were already several days late in meeting up with the waiting Grass Ninja. Much longer and there could be political ramifications from the delay.

A bird zipped by overhead, flying rather low and close to the noisy group. There was nothing really extraordinary about its plain brown coloring but when it let out a sweet trilling sound it caused everyone to take notice. The servants smiled and pointed it out to their children before it quickly disappeared against the horizon line.

Kakashi adjusted his pack casually while tracking the bird’s path. If he wasn’t mistaken that had been an uguisu, a bush warbler. Strange… typically, they preferred heavily covered areas like Konoha’s forests over the wide open grass lands. They weren’t seen too often, even in their preferred environment, but their song was very unique and always a welcomed thing. It was often said the uguisu’s song was the herald of spring… Except… this was fall. Why in the world would a spring bird that stayed hidden in the brush be out in the open during fall? Unless…

Eyes narrowing, Kakashi scanned the wide, flat expanse of grass carefully. No other sounds could be heard, not even the creaking of insects. The only noises came from the rustling of grass as it caught in a faint breeze and the typical sounds of a large group making ready to move. But everything else was entirely still…

Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, he glanced back over his shoulder to his other two teammates. Kotetsu was standing next to the client and his wife, his hands tucked in his pockets as he too stared warily across the plain. Anko was very casually steering the boys that seemed to have adopted her toward their parents, all while still laughing and talking loudly. Apparently, they’d noticed it, too. Excellent. He hated having to explain things.

Knowing that his teammates were watching him closely, Kakashi started slowly walking off toward the right, heading for a small hill that was a suitable distance from the group. The servants standing nearby looked up, frowning in confusion over his change in direction. “Hatake-san, shouldn’t we be going that way?” one of the men asked as he pointed directly ahead of them.

Flashing the man a happy look over his shoulder, Kakashi replied, “Sorry, call of nature. Be right back!” With that, he disappeared around the other side of the hill.


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This was gonna be so freakin’ easy! Saniiro Renzo grinned as he slipped through the grass smoothly, circling around the front to follow after the white haired ninja that had moved off away from the group. His people had been observing the travel party for a few days now, trying to get a feel for their movements in preparation of a raid. They were short on money and a few of his men were a little anxious for some… softer company.

This group was prime for pillaging; a whole mess of servants, a few nobles who looked as if they’d never seen outside their fancy house and only three ninja guarding them. Seriously… only three? He may have dropped out of the program after failing the jounin exams three times in a row, but even he knew that it took more than three people to guard a group of forty people. Those Leaf Nins were severely understaffed for this mission and he was going to take full advantage of that.

He flicked his hand to the right, signaling for his second to break off and hedge in their quarry. Mizuru flashed by him, his face much paler than usual and looking as if he was just barely holding the puke back. He’d said something last night about how he thought one of the ninja his pet song bird had been observing was the Copy Ninja Kakashi… but that was complete bullshit. Why the fuck would Hidden Leaf put their best shinobi on some stupid little escort job? And even if it was… Renzo wasn’t very impressed. The guy was fucking reading, for god’s sake! Apparently, they let just anyone pass the jounin exams in Konoha. Hn, maybe he should have defected there then.

Renzo waited until Mizuru was completely out of sight before signaling for Daizhou to break left with Akemi. The plan was simple; he’d make the initial attack, getting the ninja’s attention while Mizuru moved in from the side. Mizuru would serve as yet another break in concentration while Daizhou and Akemi took him out from behind. Was it overkill to send four guys out after one man? Maybe… But on the off chance that Mizuru was right and this was the Copy Ninja, he wasn’t taking any chances.

They were approaching the hill now that the ninja had moved behind. Adrenaline sent a fresh burst of energy and speed through his system, making his chest tight with eager anticipation as he drew a kunai in each hand. Sweat slipped down his spine along with a shudder of pleasure. It’d been so long since he’d felt the thrill of combat! He crested the hill and leapt into the air directly over his target, aiming to take the man out in the neck or shoulder blades. The stupid bastard was too busy taking a piss to realize he was about to die. Ha!

His grin widened as the ninja finally realized something was up and looked over his shoulder. A solitary eye widened in shock just as Renzo dropped down and jammed both kunai into the other man’s throat, jerking his hands outward to rip the tender flesh beyond any hopes of salvation. He heard the surprised gurgle from his victim as blood began to gush into his open throat, effectively choking him with his own fluids. It was a sound he hadn’t heard in months, not since that last raid job they’d done on some village in Grass. He’d missed it.

He rode the body down to the ground, raising his kunai high to deal another blow. He didn’t have to, the guy was already as good as dead… but he wanted to. Laughing, Renzo’s hand slashed downward toward the man’s chest…

And met with nothing but dirt and smoke. What the… Renzo coughed roughly as the smoke dissipated, his eyes narrowed and glaring angrily at where his kunai sprouted from the dirt. A Bunshin no Jutsu, a basic clone jutsu that just about every genin worth their salt could pull off. His freakin’ target would insult him by using that… wait… Renzo froze, his outrage over such a simple technique being used on him fading as he realized something much more important; his target wasn’t there. The fact that the other ninja had used a clone meant he’d known Renzo and his squad were out there, which also meant... That fucking ninja was reversing their ambush! Shit!

Renzo spun around again, his mouth opening to shout a warning to his comrades when a horrible noise broke out from the grass surrounding him. He recognized Mizuru’s voice, despite the fact that the man was screaming louder than he’d thought any human could. He could hear Daizhou and Akemi screaming as well, but what was worse than that was the snarling. Angry, fierce growls and snapping sounds, like a pack of dogs fighting over an old bone.

A choked gasp broke from his dry, parted lips as ferocious barks rang out from the violently swaying grass. Occasionally, someone’s foot or hand would flop out from the tall grass, only to disappear seconds later with another blood-chilling scream of pain. Renzo could hardly breathe as a chill ran across the entirety of his skin. What the… What the fuck was going on?!

He fell onto his ass and scrambled back toward the hill, breathing hard while his heart pounded heavily in his chest. Flecks of blood arched up from the grass in random spurts. The screams were now becoming grunts, the snarls dying down to low, angry purrs of sound. Whatever was happening in the grass was almost over, and it looked as if his comrades were on the losing side of things. Renzo gulped heavily and continued pushing backward through the grass. He wasn’t sticking around for the creatures to get him, no way in hell!

He had only scuttled back a few feet when he bumped into something solid and froze, terrified. His throat was so tight that his scream only came out as a pathetic whimper when cool metal slid menacingly close to the throbbing carotid artery in his throat. “Don’t move,” a low, cold voice whispered near his ear.

He didn’t need the icy words; he was too paralyzed by fear to move. A sick feeling settled in his gut and he realized frighteningly that he was just one slice away from death. It was something he’d never experienced before, and he didn’t like it one bit. He couldn’t believe he’d been taken out by a simple genin trick and was now about to die in a field, surrounded by faceless monsters and dead comrades. Renzo closed his eyes and did something he hadn’t done in a very long time; he prayed.


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Bidou watched as Renzo and his team rushed off to take care of the shinobi who had broken away from the group. If that really was the famous Copy Ninja, he was glad it was Renzo’s group going after him and not his. He’d heard stories about the man who had copied over a thousand jutsu… and none of those stories had been told by survivors. No one who saw the Sharingan ever lived to talk about it.

For the sake of his comrades, he truly hoped Mizuru was mistaken. Chances were good that he was too, seeing as he was basing his information off of a glance he’d gotten a few years back at some big shot’s Bingo Book. Not to mention, the visual confirmation had been obtained from a small bird, not any first hand contact. Just because the guy had white hair didn’t mean he was Hatake Kakashi.

Taking a deep breath and holding it briefly to stead his nerves, Bidou slowly reached back for the ninjaken strapped to his back. Around him, his team reached for their own weapons, all of them tense and ready for him to give the sign. He couldn’t see Uzumei or Kaito, the leaders of the third and fourth squads, anywhere in the thick, tall grass but he didn’t have to. As soon as he gave the sign to Shuei, his explosives specialist, the other two would know to attack.

Crouching lower into the grass, Bidou dug his boots into the damp earth and released the breath he’d been holding, steadying his nerves. “Shuei,” he whispered, giving the command to go. If he stalled any longer, he’d chicken out of it.

He didn’t know why he was so uneasy about this particular raid. There were only three ninja guarding almost forty people and one of those ninja was probably already dead now, thanks to Renzo. The guy was needlessly brutal sometimes but he was good at getting the job done quickly. All he and the other two teams had to do was take out the remaining two ninja and any personal guards that were possibly disguised as peasants. It was a simple job… but he still felt like something just wasn’t right about it.

The soft click of metal hitting flint came from behind him, followed by the hiss of flame meeting fuse. He heard the faint whistle as a small cluster of explosives was flung toward the group. Bidou gripped his sword harder and closed his eyes tightly as the other man counted down the seconds until detonation under his breath. Four… three…two…

BANG!

A flash of light burned up the dull grey sky so brightly he could see it behind his closed eyes. Chaos erupted from the target group in front of him, a frenzied blend of screaming voices, wailing children and crashing cargo. The flash bomb had done its job in sending the masses into a panic. Now… to move in and finish the job!

His eyes flew open and he sped forward, whipping his ninjaken out as he raced through the grass toward their targets. His group would take out the kunoichi at the rear while Uzumei’s would handle the shinobi standing guard over the nobleman. Kaito’s team was to hold back and serve as support if things got out of hand. Hopefully, their bailout services wouldn’t be needed, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

Bidou wound his way through the hazy smog, keeping low to the grass to further camouflage his movements. He could see the outline of the kunoichi’s shape as she shoved a child further into the knot of screaming people behind her. He drew his blade back sharply, his gaze fixed on the back of her neck. She began to pivot around, preparing to fall into a sweeping kick for his legs… but she wouldn’t be fast enough. A quick flash of sympathy for her stabbed through him as his blade cut sharply toward her.

That was when he caught the movement out of the corner of his eye. Something came flashing out of the grass toward his arm, something that was much too large to be a shuriken and seemed to be alive. Bidou grunted in surprise as the thing coiled around his arm and squeezed, hissing fiercely as its powerful jaws closed over his wrist. He grit his teeth to hold back the pained scream as fangs sank deeply into the softer area just beneath his palm. Those jaws tightened even more as he gave his arm a sharp jerk, trying to shake whatever it was off of him. Bidou glanced down to see what sort of weapon it was and his eyes widened in surprise. What the… a snake?!

Just as that thought registered with him, another snake flew upward out of the grass and latched itself to his inner thigh, perilously close to his femoral artery. This time, his scream broke free unrestrained as he quickly dropped his ninjaken in favor of grabbing the reptile locked onto his thigh. All around him, the grass began to sway and twist as more and more things slid through the grass toward him. His eyes went wide and panic began to set in when he realized not all of the hissing he heard was because of the grass’ movement. It was because the land was swarming with snakes.

A burst of agony radiated up from his Achilles tendon, followed closely by a wet popping sensation that made his entire leg feel like it was on fire. The pain in his leg combined with the speed he’d put into his attack caused him to stumble over his own feet, lurching head first into the ground. He went rolling through the dirt, plowing over grass and something that was most definitely not dirt. Not once did the snakes let go, not even when he finally came to a halt on his back.

That was when panic became sheer, outright terror. Snakes swarmed in from all sides, fangs bared and eyes gleaming coldly in the sunlight overhead. Bidou had barely drawn enough air to scream when the creatures were upon him, coiling around his limbs and squeezing to the point where he could feel his blood pulsing as it tried to circulate through his constrained body. Sharpened teeth sank into him from all over, too many to accurately count. His sides, his arms, his throat… everywhere radiated pain as the reptiles quickly brought him under submission.

What the hell was going on? He wasn’t surprised to find snakes in Grass Country, but this many attacking at once was more than coincidental! Choking, hands clawing at the rich earth as he writhed in agony, Bidou’s eyes went wide as he saw his teammates drop to the ground around him. Shuei… Agatsu… Morimei… All of them didn’t so much as twitch a muscle to get up. Shuei was facing him, his normally lively brown eyes dull and staring at nothing. Bidou spluttered and choked, wincing as the snake clinging to his throat squeezed harder. They were dead, he realized. All of his team had been killed.

It took him a couple of dizzied seconds before he noticed the shadow looming over him, blocking out the hard sunlight that had been burning his skin. A chill ran down his spine, a feeling of cold dread so intense he didn’t even dare to finish trying to breathe. The kunoichi, the one his team was supposed to take out, smiled delightedly at him as she crouched down, straddling his chest as intimately as any lover would have. Either by design of the snakes or a miracle on her part, she avoided stepping on any of the hissing, writhing mass piled on him.

Blood was splattered all over her, matting her hair and staining her pale skin darkly. Slowly, she licked her lips, her tongue cleaning off the drying remains of his teammates’ blood. The look on her face as she settled her weight more firmly on his stomach made him gag. She looked as if the blood of his dead comrades was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted in her life.

He flinched when she reached out and ran a fingernail down the snake coiled around his neck. Something passed through her eyes that made his entire body go cold. The closest he could come to describing that look would be to say it was lustful. It was like the sight of him bleeding and completely immobile while covered in squeezing, hissing reptiles was turning her on. No one should look like that when they were covered in other people’s blood. No one sane, that was. Just what the hell kind of ninja lived in Hidden Leaf?

The kunoichi leaned forward, so close that a hard thought would have placed her lips on his. Bidou closed his eyes as sweat fell freely down his temples, soaking into the head protector secured to his forehead. He whimpered when cool fingers slid underneath the cloth and slowly pulled the protector off, either unaware or uncaring that he was all but pissing himself underneath her. He’d seen and survived quite a few things in his time, but never had anyone terrified him as much as this woman did.

“Today’s your lucky day, lover,” the kunoichi purred enticingly. It was the sort of voice a woman would use in the bedroom, and Bidou knew that if by some miracle he survived this he would never set foot in a brothel again. “Know why?”

He didn’t even dare to move. Hell, he couldn’t even bring himself to open his eyes right then. If he saw that smile again… those fiendish eyes… Well, it didn’t look like he’d live long enough to have nightmares at any rate. He would be sent to hell soon enough, and at that moment he would have preferred those eternal flames than to have her straddling his hips.

Bidou flinched at the feel of cool metal sliding down his cheek, too dull to be a kunai. It took him a moment before it occurred to him that it was the metal plate on the hitai-ate that she was rubbing along his jaw. The movement was slow and would have been rather sensual were he not in the middle of a field and about to die. “This is a very interesting accessory you have here. Sound Ninja, hmm? You’re very, very lucky I spotted your comrades wearing these babies. Otherwise, my snake would have crushed your windpipe in an instant. Now… I’m gonna take her off so you can breathe, and you’re gonna thank me for not killing you, got it?”

He flinched harder, hoping she would understand the movement to be a yes, he got it. The snake around his throat loosened its hold immediately, leaving him choking for an uneven breath. Blinking through the pained tears in his eyes, Bidou saw the snake curl its way up the kunoichi’s arm, disappearing under the sleeve of her jacket. Chest rising and falling heavily, making the snakes curled around him follow that same rhythm, he met the kunoichi’s gaze as she dangled the head protector between her fingers.

“Where’s Orochimaru?” she asked, her voice dropping the seductive tone in favor of one that promised painful, lethal force if he didn’t answer.

He was about to tell her he had no idea who she was talking about when he spotted movement in the air above her. The shape was dark against the glaring sun, but easily recognizable as a person with a katana raised overhead for a death blow. A pang of relief so sharp it made him choke on happy tears broke from him when he realized it was Kaito’s group coming to the rescue.


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Kotetsu wheeled around, spinning the giant shuriken in his palms swiftly as he bent backward and sliced one of the attacking ninja up the back of his spine. Blood sprayed everywhere as the man went down with a piercing scream, falling just a few feet away from the terrified lord and his unconscious wife. He let the shuriken fly as he finished the pivoting motion, his hands already reaching for his weapons scroll as the two new attackers crouched down to avoid having their chests gouged open. The giant shuriken spun out of sight, cleaving a jagged trail through the tall grass. Kotetsu flicked the scroll open sharply, the thin paper rustling wildly as it unspooled around him, fluttering in elegant circles as he rapidly worked the hand signs to release its contents.

Lips set in a thin, firm line Kotetsu quickly grabbed the weapons now piling out from the scroll, sending the barrage of kunai and shuriken whistling with deadly accuracy at the enemies. He could see the whites of their eyes as they realized they were about to become gruesome pincushions and watched as they dropped futilely into the grass to avoid the damage. The sounds of their cries were drowned out by the wet squish of sharpened metal slashing into flesh.

He dropped to one knee as the last of the four attackers sprang up on his left with a katana poised to strike. The whistle slicing through the air over his head was sharp, telling him he’d just barely missed having his head lobbed off. Kotetsu’s hand closed over the first weapon he came into contact with – a ninjaken- and rammed the short blade upward into the man’s chest cavity with everything he had. Blood spurted all over his hands and face as he used the upward momentum to fling the man over his shoulders and into the ground on the other side, quickly swiveling away when the man made a last ditched effort to slice his stomach open. It took one flick of a kunai across the man’s throat before he wasn’t capable of lifting a weapon any longer.

Breathing hard, Kotetsu wiped his eyes across his sleeve, grimacing as the soaked material didn’t do anything to clear his vision. He shook the kunai free of the dead man’s blood before placing the blade in his mouth. He grabbed two more kunai and glanced over his shoulder to make certain the client was still alive. Lord Tsuigetsu was still clinging to his wife as he cowered behind the shelter of an overturned cart. So long as he stayed put, Kotetsu didn’t have to worry that he would be at risk.

Standing up, he scanned the area for Anko and Kakashi. Their team leader had disappeared shortly before the attack to try and draw some of the ninja away from the group. It had worked, but the outcome of that battle was still a mystery. Not that he couldn’t already guess at what that would be; these guys were chuunin at best, which meant they were basically cannon fodder for the Copy Ninja. If that was the case though, Kakashi should have been done with them pretty quickly. So… where the hell was he?

Kotetsu whirled around when he heard screams coming from the back of the group, falling into a defensive crouch on reflex. Those screams… They weren’t from any of the women or children back that way. They were coming from grown men, ones who were in an extreme amount of pain. Apparently, Anko was working out her boredom on them. If it weren’t for the fact that they had tried to kill innocent people, he almost would have felt sorry for them. That woman was a little too close to insane for his comfort.

The servants were backing away from the battle in the rear fearfully, cramming into the terrified knot of people bunched together in the center. They were tripping over themselves, which created a new problem as those that fell weren’t helped back up and were now being trampled by their frightened comrades. Damn it… was he supposed to protect all of them while Anko was occupied and Kakashi took his sweet-ass time doing god-knows-what? Not even those hounds of his were anywhere nearby! Kotetsu straightened from his crouch and gazed out over the area once again to see if he could locate any of his comrades.

That was when he spotted the nin streaking up behind where Anko had to be located. He couldn’t see her amidst the grass, but there was only one reason why someone would move that fast and that was to kill an enemy combatant. Kotetsu flung both his kunai at the now airborne assailant before reaching down for one of the giant shuriken planted in the dirt. The kunai would do some damage but they wouldn’t be strong enough to knock the man off his trajectory course. A giant shuriken, however, would.

He launched the spiked weapon with barely a conscious effort of the movement, the fluidity coming from years and years of practice. Even though he was only a chuunin, there were very few people better than he was when it came to weapons and how to use them. His father had been coaching him ever since he’d been old enough to stand, even giving him a wooden kunai to snuggle with at night instead of a stuffed animal. Despite the fact he knew his throw was precise, instinct still made him take up another one and spin around just in case he’d been off.

The shuriken struck the attacker dead in the side, and the force of the throw combined with the size of the weapon was enough to fling the man’s body far out of reach. As the ninja hit the ground and didn’t get up again, Anko’s head popped up over the grass. Surprise was written all over her face, but whether it was because of his skill or because he’d just saved her ass, he didn’t know. Smirking and completely proud of himself for showing her that a chuunin was just as capable as a jounin, Kotetsu waved back at her.

And then gasped in pain as a blade thunked heavily between his shoulder blades. He cried out sharply when a kunai was thrust through his arm, forcing his hand to spasm and loosen its grip on the giant shuriken. Before he could even think to spin around and offer a counter attack, two more kunai found their way into his calf and thigh, instantly dropping him to the ground. Pain like nothing he’d ever felt before swam through him, so incredibly sharp that he almost wished he would die just to escape it. Choking back a scream, Kotetsu managed to get one arm under his chest and pushed himself to a kneeling position. He could feel the presence behind him and smiled wryly as he realized this was how he was going to die; forced to his knees after saving a teammate’s life. He couldn’t have asked for a better ending than that.


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What a dumb fucking thing to do, Chikaru thought as he slowly walked up behind the shinobi now kneeling before him. Arrogant idiot… Thinking he was the shit just because he took Kaito out. He wasn’t gonna live long enough to boast about it. Grinning as he flipped a kunai across his palm idly, Chikaru took a good grip of the kneeling shinobi’s thick, dark hair. He jerked his opponent’s head back, a satisfied smirk twisting his lips at the pained grunt from his victim. He didn’t bother with any last words, merely drew back his arm to deal the death blow.

The ground beneath him erupted suddenly, throwing him off balance as he looked down in shock. A fist exploded from the dirt and connected with the underside of his jaw before he could even think to react as stars burst inside his head and he was sent airborne. His body slammed into the ground roughly and went tumbling, jerking his arms nearly out of socket with the force of it. Gasping , Chikaru struggled to push himself up with one arm, blood trickling from where his teeth had cut into the insides of his cheek. His arm shook and gave out, numbness settling through his torn muscles heavily. Breathing brought about a new pain, as did applying any pressure on his left knee. Shit… What the hell had that been?

He only had a second to register the rapid sound of footsteps heading his way before something heavy connected with his chest and he was lifted into the air again. Agony burned through his lungs and he knew the sharp crack he’d heard were his ribs being broken. He’d barely hit the ground again before the next attack came. A round of kunai zipped almost soundlessly through the air, hitting him directly in the joints on his arms and dragging a scream from his throat as tendons were severed, making it impossible for him to even think about lifting a weapon.

A weight settled on his chest, intensifying the anguish of drawing breath as it applied pressure to his broken ribs. Gasping as blood began to trickle into his throat, Chikaru felt a dry sob tear from him as he turned pain-filled eyes up at his attacker. One dark grey eye glared back at him, completely devoid of any human mercy. There was nothing in that look except a silent promise that if Chikaru so much as twitched, he would die. The man wasn’t holding a weapon, but he didn’t have to. Just the deadly aura surrounding him was enough to make Chikaru think twice about trying a counterattack.

Groaning, Chikaru dropped his head back into the dirt and closed his eyes as he realized Mizuru had been right. The man with the pale hair… the one who’d done nothing but read the entire time… had been Copy Ninja Kakashi. He was so royally fucked now.


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Holy hell… More of these guys?! Seriously, wasn’t the ass-whooping their friends took enough to scare them off? Growling angrily, Anko spun around as she sensed a presence appearing out of the thick grass behind her. Without any hesitation, she drew a kunai and aimed for the guy’s throat…

Only, she redirected her aim at the last second when she noticed the hitai-ate tied around the upper portion of his arm bore the Grass insignia on it. The man wasn't with the bandits. It was too late to completely stop her forward momentum, but at least she redirected what would have been a lethal attack to a mere graze across his shoulder.

“Shit,” he hissed angrily, glaring at her as he pressed a hand to the bleeding wound. “You goddamned Leaf bitch… what the hell are you doing?!”

“Hey it’s your own goddamned fault for sneaking up during an attack, idiot,” Anko shouted back at him, shoving him away from her roughly. She didn’t care if they were on the same side, the guy had no right getting pissy over his own stupidity!

“Why do you think we were sneaking up?” the man fired back angrily. “We were coming to protect our client and help your useless asses out!”

“You son of a-,”

“Anko, calm down. These are our allies. They have the same goal as us; to protect Lord Tsuigetsu,” Kakashi called as he offered a hand to someone in the grass. Anko very nearly sagged with relief as Kotetsu got to his feet, blood coating him from shoulders to waist. He followed Kakashi over to the group of Grass Nin, limping heavily and looking much paler than he usually was. Awww… Poor baby, getting soaked in blood! This was probably his first real fight as a ninja. He should consider himself lucky he was even alive.

“But, Kakashi, he just-,” she blurted out, pointing an accusing finger at the Grass Nin.

“Stand. Down.” It wasn’t a request any longer. He was flat out ordering her to back off.

Scowling angrily at her team leader, Anko slowly relaxed her stance and took a step back from the smirking Grass Nin. It took a helluva lotta willpower not to just lay the bastard out flat in one blow, but she knew Kakashi wouldn’t allow it. He was just no fun sometimes!

“Sorry we’re late,” Kakashi said cheerfully, as if they weren’t in the middle of a battlefield and hadn’t just been about to attack their fellow ninja. “Unfortunately, there were several, ah… changes in the travel plan.” His shoulders curved forward slightly as he stuck his hands in his pockets and directed his lazy gaze at the other three Grass Ninja wandering over to them. Nine hostages stumbled and limped behind them, all of them neatly bound and looking much worse for ware.

Well, well… Nice to see their allies hadn’t been lazy in all of this! Anko smirked wickedly at the one enemy ninja covered over in bleeding snakebites. He was still several feet away but she could hear his gulp as clearly as if he were standing next to her. Oh, yes… He wouldn’t be forgetting Mitarashi Anko any time soon!

A quick looking over told her that only four others were wearing Sound badges, which meant they’d either defected (which usually wasn’t an option with Orochimaru) or had met up with some like-minded troublemakers during their travels. She chuckled lightly, which made the hostages blanch considerably. Interrogating them was gonna be fun!

The apparent leader of the Grass Ninja stepped forward, sparing a quick glance at the one that had snuck up on Anko to make certain the injury wasn’t serious. Once he was sure his comrade wasn’t going to die, he snorted derisively through the loose wrappings draped over the lower half of his face. “Your Hokage said the numbers were bigger than was initially negotiated,” he replied, his voice low and a little raspy as he took in the group of huddled, frightened servants that were barely daring to breathe. He sighed, his eyebrows rising briefly as if in disappointment. “Apparently, Konoha doesn’t care if they get screwed over… but we do. What bullshit.”

Snorting contemptuously, Anko moved until she was standing next to her team once again and folded her arms under her breasts while pinning a hard glare on the leader. She opened her mouth to let him know just what was bullshit but promptly shut it once again when she caught the warning look Kakashi directed at her. Hmph… spoilsport. He just had to suck the fun outta everything, didn’t he? Fine, if he wanted to ignore the insult she’d play along… for now.

Once satisfied she wasn’t going to tell the Grass Ninja what she really thought of them, Kakashi put on a blatantly fake happy face and said, “We’ll stick around to help get things in order again before turning everyone over to your care. Sound good?”

The Grass leader made a scoffing sound as his eyes darkened fiercely at Kakashi’s offer. “We’re not like you Leaf Nin,” he sneered. “We don’t need to have someone bail our asses out. You’ve gotten our client to us alive. Your job here is done. Go home.”

Anko grit her teeth and squeezed her hands into tight, angry fists to keep from beating the bastard into a pulp. She didn’t like the way he said ‘you Leaf nin’, as if they were to blame for the strained relations between Grass and Konoha. She started to step forward, fully prepared to show him just what a ninja of Hidden Leaf could do when Kakashi’s arm shot out to block her. “Listen, Kakashi-san,” she bit out tightly, ignoring the amused snickers coming from the ninja across from her. “I’ve about had it with-“

“That’s fine with us,” Kakashi cut her off, speaking to the smirking Grass Ninja as if she hadn’t just tried to speak. “We’ll get out of here just as soon as you pass over our captives.”

The Grass leader’s eyebrows rose as he tugged at the wire binding three of the captured nin sharply, causing them to stumble and very nearly fall to their knees. “Who, these assholes here? Sorry, but they’re coming with us. They did attack our client, after all.”

“As I seem to recall, Lord Tsuigetsu and his entourage don’t become your responsibility until they cross the borders of Grass,” Kakashi continued, keeping his voice calm and reasonable. “Since we’re still in Fire Country, that makes those men ours.”

“We’re the ones who saved your worthless hides,” another Grass Nin snapped back, his hand dropping down to the shuriken holster on his thigh. “They’re ours by conquest!”

“A conquest you conducted within the borders of our territory. Which, if we really wanted to get technical, could constitute as unwanted hostile actions toward Konoha,” Kotetsu coughed out thickly, much to everyone’s surprise. Wasn’t he the one who’d been so concerned about maintaining relations with Grass Country? Wow… Anko couldn’t help grinning at this surprising turn of events.

All of the Grass Ninja stiffened angrily and shifted around at the rather blatant threat. “Better watch your next words carefully, boy,” the leader hissed fiercely. “Don’t wanna go starting a war, now do you?”

“Believe me, that’s the last thing Konoha wants with its friends in Grass Country. But we cannot allow you to take those men back with you,” Kakashi interjected calmly before Kotetsu could even open his mouth. His tone though suggested there wouldn’t be any arguing this point.

“And how do you propose to stop us? We out number you, we’re more familiar with the terrain and we’re all uninjured. You have no room to negotiate here.”

“Is that what you think?” Anko snapped as she reached back for her last kunai. She’d only get one hit and she intended to put it right between that smug bastard’s eyes!

The Grass Ninja, who had been reaching for their own weapons, came to a dead halt when dogs suddenly appeared out of the tall grass, hair raised and angry growls leaking from between their bared teeth. They ringed the Grass Nin and captives completely, bodies tensed to pounce should anyone think to attack. Slowly, the Grass leader raised both his hands and settled them on the back of his head, keeping his eyes on the hounds at all times. His men soon followed suit, all of them being very mindful of their movements lest one of the dogs mistook the action and tore their throats out.

“I’m surprised you have the gall to attack us, what with our relations being so strained and all,” their leader hissed, his eyes all but spitting venom at Kakashi. Anko couldn’t help grinning at her leader’s profile, all of her earlier irritation with him fading in light of this change in events.

Kakashi glanced from the irate man toward the circle of dogs as if he had just now noticed their presence. “I’m sorry, but I suffer from random bouts of amnesia. Terribly problematic, really, especially when it happens on missions. It makes filling out the reports later rather difficult,” he deadpanned.

Realizing he wasn’t getting anywhere with Kakashi, the Grass leader snarled fiercely, “Fine! Take the hostages, but know that we will be addressing this with your Hokage as soon as we get back to our village!”

“Taking up what, exactly? The fact that you crossed our borders with hostile intent, imposed yourselves on our mission unnecessarily, insulted my team and then proceeded to hold persons of interest from our authority? Yes, please do mention that to the Hokage. It’ll save me a lot of time.” Kotetsu groaned heavily at Kakashi’s flippantly cheerful words and looked ready to weep at the obvious damage done to their foreign relations.

Anko moved forward then, uncaring that she was literally stepping into a circle of dogs just waiting to rip something to pieces. She jerked the wire lines from the Grass Ninjas’ hands and tugged on them, forcing the captives to edge their way carefully out of the snarling pack. Grinning brightly, she slapped the wires down into Kakashi’s waiting palm and said, “And here I thought I was gonna have to take the client hostage just to get them to play nice! Those dogs of yours are pretty hand, Hatake.”

“If Tsunade asks, I beat you into submission and forced you to go along with this,” he murmured as he wrapped the wires around his wrist. “That goes for you too, Kotetsu.”

Kotetsu blinked his eyes slowly and mumbled in a voice that was oddly thick sounding, “I’m going to have to disobey that order, Kakashi-san. I could have stopped you from doing that.”

“Of course you could have. Still… humor me on this, would you?”

Giving a resigned sigh, Kotetsu offered a weak smile and nodded his agreement to the request.

Pleased that he wasn’t going to get any further arguments for taking the heat on this stunt, Kakashi’s eye creased cheerfully as he gave the wire lines a sharp tug. “Well, it’s been fun but we really must get going now,” he called as he waved at the Grass Ninja, who were still being held in place by the ninken. “Pakkun, wait ten minutes or until Lord Tsuigetsu’s people are ready to start moving again before you let our friends go, okay?”

“Sure thing,” the pug growled out absently, all of his attention focused on the four ninja in front of him.

The three of them began walking off, Kakashi forcing the captured nin in front of them while he picked up where he’d left off with his reading. Anko walked behind him with her hands folded behind her head and a beaming smile on her face while Kotetsu limped in the rear. “I have to say, sempai, that was pretty cool back there,” she commented as soon as they were out of earshot from the Grass Ninja. “For a second, I thought you were seriously gonna let them get away with that!”

“Mm,” was all Kakashi said in return as he flipped to the next page in his book.

Laughing, Anko nudged him in the shoulder playfully, rocking him over a step before he readjusted his stance and continued walking. “Don’t be bashful! Did you see the looks on their faces? I thought for sure they were gonna crap themselves, they were so scared! And you, Kotetsu… Spouting off like that about hostile actions? Your balls are bigger than I- KOTETSU!”

Anko raced back to where their teammate had collapsed in the grass. She fell to her knees beside him, her eyes widening in shock. His back was soaked with blood, which continued to flow out of the wide split in his flak vest. She rolled him over swiftly, her fingers frantically jerking the zipper to his vest down to check for any further injuries. Kotetsu’s eyes rolled back and his lips parted, letting out a rattling gasp before he went completely limp. Hands shaking, she pressed her fingers to his throat and pleaded silently that there was still a beat. A dry sob escaped her as she felt the flutter of life in his veins. Anko scrunched her eyes shut tightly at the beginning burn of tears.

The entire time they’d been standing there, arguing with the Grass Ninja, and he’d been losing blood. All that time… and he’d never once hinted that he’d been injured!

Anko was rolling Kotetsu back over again to examine his back just as Kakashi dropped to his knees as well, having paused long enough to secure the captives to a tree to keep them from plotting an escape. He pushed her hands away when they wouldn’t stop shaking long enough to do the job. Taking a firm grip of the sopping material sticking to Kotetsu’s back, Kakashi it a firm jerk and exposed a deep, ugly wound that stretched from between his shoulder blades several inches. It continued to pulse fresh blood down his back, spilling it thickly into the dirt under his stomach.

Immediately, Anko’s mind flashed back to that surprised moment during the fight when one of the enemy had fallen with a giant shuriken sticking out of his side. She’d looked up to see who’d thrown it just long enough to note that it had Kotetsu before she’d gone back to terrifying her prisoner. She’d thought he’d been okay. Had she known…

“Anko.”

She blinked at the sound of her name and slowly tore her eyes from the wound to look at the item Kakashi was holding out to her. It was an emergency transport scroll. She took it, her bloody fingers staining the paper with rusty red splotches. The fact that he was giving her this to use told her just how bad off Kotetsu was. He needed to get back to Konoha and fast. “Get him directly to Shizune and tell Tsunade I’m coming back with people for interrogation,” he explained.

Nodding, Anko flipped the scroll open, did the necessary seals and held tightly to Kotetsu to make sure he transported with her.


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Sakura puffed a breath of air into the shorter pieces of hair that fell into her face and shifted restlessly on the paper lined examination table. She swung her legs idly, frowned when she noticed it made the paper gown ride up indecently and promptly stopped. Sighing, she looked at the clock on the wall and noted that it was now ten after three. She’d been waiting for almost twenty minutes for Shizune to conduct her biyearly physical.

She’d been caught off guard when she’d walked into the hospital that morning and been informed that she was due for a check up. Actually, she’d been due almost a week ago… but apparently Suki kept conveniently ‘forgetting’ to tell her about it. Sakura snorted and glared at a spot on the tiled floor glumly. Yeah… that was really likely. Or, another, more believable scenario was that Suki had deliberately not told her because she was still carrying a grudge. How the hell was she supposed to know taking Konoha’s number one bachelor off the market was a major social gaff?

At least no one was messing with her when it came to her patients any longer. No more charts were misfiled or disorganized, no one dared to elbow her in passing when she was wearing the green medic coat. It still wasn’t pleasant having people hate her for something so stupid, but it was definitely more tolerable when it wasn’t affecting her job. That was an unforgivable thing, especially when it was her fellow medics doing it. They above all people knew it was dangerous playing around when people’s lives were on the line.

While the patient areas were blessedly free of incident, the break room and surgery prep areas were a different story entirely though. She’d had everything from snide comments to random stuff being slipped into her coat pockets done to her since it started getting around that she was dating Kakashi. The really bad thing was that there wasn’t much she could do about it either, seeing as those were the only two areas (besides the administration offices) where patients weren’t at risk.

Her tormentors were very careful, following her outburst, to keep their antics away from the patients and to make certain that neither Shizune nor Tsunade were around to catch them. One of the older medics had been caught by Tsunade as she was trying to slip a stinging beetle down the back of Sakura’s shirt in the locker area. She’d not only been cut from the medic program but completely blacklisted from all ninja activity for the rest of her life. Tsunade had essentially excommunicated her from the shinobi world completely. That act had reduced the number of pranks significantly, but it still didn’t make it safe for her to leave her coat around though.

The last time she’d taken her medic coat off and draped it over a chair, some idiot had dropped a wet clump of nasty, moldy hair into her pocket. It was pretty pathetic when someone would actually resort to digging out the crap from inside their shower drain just to torment her. Of course, that wasn’t the worst thing that’d been left for her. That distinct honor went to whoever had rubbed fish oil all over her locker so that she had no choice but to touch it in order to get her stuff out. She’d smelled like a fish for the rest of the day, which had raised several eyebrows and frightened a few patients completely.

Sakura sighed again and stared at the chipped nail polish on her toenails. She was grateful Shizune had been there this morning, otherwise she had a feeling Suki would have stuck her with some bitter, pissed off medic who would probably add ten pounds to her weight just be spiteful. Obviously, the hazing hadn’t gone completely unnoticed by the higher ups, seeing as Shizune very rarely performed basic physicals any longer. The look on Suki’s face had been priceless when she’d offered to do it.

But Shizune was a very busy woman who really didn’t have the time to do a check up appointment, which was why she’d been stuck waiting for so long. Even though the other woman meant well by the gesture, all Sakura could think about were the patients she was supposed to be treating who were now being reassigned to other medics because she wasn’t there yet. She should be out there helping them, not cooped up in a small examination room wearing a paper dress! But Shizune had said she was to be in room two-eleven at ten to three… so here she was.

The door opened then, causing Sakura to sit up straighter as Shizune came bustling in with a chart under one arm and a smile on her face. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Sakura-chan,” she said breathlessly as she pushed the door closed and dropped the orange colored chart onto the counter area. “Tsunade-sama took a little longer than expected in her meeting and with Izumo bogged down in paperwork…”

Smiling back, Sakura shrugged and said, “It’s okay. I just wish I was allowed to check my own vitals or something, just to make this faster.” It was against hospital policy for medics to conduct any part of their own physical. There’d been incidences in the past where people had done just that and fudged a few facts in order to keep their standing in the medical field.

Shizune laughed as she flipped open the chart to a blank encounter page and pulled a pen out from her pocket. “I’ll try and make this as quick as possible, I promise. Now then… let’s get your weight and height first, okay?”

Cringing as she grudgingly slid off the paper covered bed, Sakura trudged over to the scale in the corner and reluctantly got on it. “Do we really have to do this?”

“Yes, we do. You can turn around if you don’t want to see the results, though I don’t really understand why you’d be upset by it.”

Sakura wrinkled her nose at Shizune but didn’t take the offer to stand on the scale backward. She knew she wasn’t fat or anything, but she was pretty sure she’d gained a few pounds and she knew she hadn’t grown a single inch all year. Standing as straight as she could in hopes of somehow making her body stretch last minute, Sakura watched as Shizune rapidly slid the scale weights into place before settling the height guide on top of her head.

“Sakura-chan, please don’t stand on the balls of your feet,” Shizune reprimanded.

“Sorry,” she mumbled back dismally as she fell back on her heels again. So much for pulling one over on her.

Once the weight and height were recorded in her chart, Shizune smiled and stepped away from the machine. “Okay, take a seat, please. We’ll do a quick history and complaints review before moving on to your other vitals. Unless you want to get that done with first?”

Shizune had remembered Sakura’s dislike for the chakra alignment exam, having claimed once that it left her feeling woozy and a little ill afterward. It was an invasive procedure that was unfortunately something every ninja had to go through. Basically, a medic would infiltrate the body with their own chakra to check and see if the levels were suitable and if all points for chakra release were in working order. Then, the medic would purposely stimulate the chakra to see how well it reacted. Stimulating chakra involved working it into a frenzy and then ceasing abruptly. The entire process was repeated over the course of two minutes to gauge the patient’s stamina, which was a very taxing thing on those with lower tolerances… like her.

Pouting as she picked at the paper lining under her fingers, Sakura answered reluctantly, “Tsunade-shishou likes the vitals done after the history and complaints… so I guess we can do that.”

Nodding, Shizune hooked her foot under the rolling stool and took a seat as she prepared to write. “Have you experienced anything out of the ordinary for you in the last six months?”

“No, not really. I mean, I had a stuffy nose a few months ago, but that was it.”

“No headaches, random bouts of nausea, spotty vision?”

“Nope.”

“Have you noticed any change in your performance when using chakra?”

Sakura shook her head no. “It’s actually gotten easier to channel it. You know, more natural.”

Shizune smiled brightly at that as she continued writing. “Well, you are making fabulous progress, Sakura-chan. Tsunade-sama was just saying so the other day.”

“Really?” she asked hopefully, her mood lifting at the other woman’s praise. Tsunade wasn’t the sort of mentor who doled out compliments very often, so whenever she did it was incredibly flattering.

Nodding, Shizune continued happily, “She was thinking you’d be ready for the jounin exams sometime early next year.”

Oh… wow! She flushed happily and bit her lower lip to keep from giggling. She really couldn’t believe Tsunade was serious about her taking the jounin exams, but her teacher never joked around when it came to her training. It was just unbelievable to her that she’d come as far as she had in a little over two years. She couldn’t help the bolt of pride that went through her over the fact that it was her hard work and Tsunade’s demanding training that had gotten her to this point. Of course, she still had a long way to go before she’d feel totally comfortable taking the jounin exams. She’d also have to find a jounin sponsor between now and then.

Sponsors were the ones who recommended that a chuunin be promoted. They also served as a sort of mentor and coach during the exams. Normally, any chuunin preparing for the jounin exams would ask their teacher to sponsor them for the event. But seeing as her current teacher was the Hokage and she was now dating her former teacher… She really couldn’t ask either of them to sponsor her.

Sakura looked up at Shizune and asked timidly, “Shizune-san, when I’m ready would you… would you maybe consider sponsoring me for it?”

The sound of the stool rolling across the floor was loud in the little room. Sakura’s eyes widened a touch when Shizune reached out and covered one of her hands with her own, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’d love to.”

Touched by the other woman’s kindness, Sakura smiled back and whispered, “Thanks.”

Giving her hand one final squeeze, Shizune spun around again and went directly back into business mode. “Now then, it looks like Tsunade-sama started you on birth control last year. How’s that working out for you?”

Shrugging and wrinkling her nose slightly, she answered, “Okay, I guess. My cycle’s pretty much on to the minute, which is really great for mission planning on my part. Oh, and it’s been amazing acne control, too.” She grinned at Shizune’s chuckle as she began swinging her legs back and forth idly. “Other than the first couple weeks where it was making me nauseous, I haven’t really had any problems with it.”

“And you’re making certain you take it every day? You’re not forgetting and doubling up, are you?”

Sakura rolled her eyes and grumbled, “No, I’m not forgetting. Tsunade-shishou spent almost four hours drilling the importance of birth control into my head, thanks.”

Shizune shot her a stern frown as she paused in making notes. “You can never be too careful, Sakura,” she chastised. “You’d be surprised how many women don’t take their contraceptives appropriately and end up pregnant.”

“I know…” Great, now she’d started it. She couldn’t have just said ‘yes, Shizune-san’ and called it a day? Noooo… That would have been the smart thing to do.

“This is for your own protection, Sakura,” the other woman continued firmly, her voice falling into the lecture mode that most of the medics dreaded having directed at them. “Tsunade-sama wouldn’t suggest it if she didn’t think it was necessary.”

“I know, Shizune,” Sakura groaned, meeting her superior’s gaze levelly. “Tsunade-shishou’s gone over this a hundred times now.” It wasn’t quite a hundred times, but Tsunade had definitely drilled in the reasons why she was really pushing for all active duty kunoichi to start using contraceptives. One of the most effective means of torture for a female ninja was rape. While birth control couldn’t stop the act itself from occurring, at least there would be comfort in knowing a baby wouldn’t result of it. Then, of course, there were the missions that required getting to really know the target. Sometimes, or so she’d heard, that involved actually sleeping with them. Hmm… what if her mission to steal Icha Icha led to…

Sakura yelped and caught herself just before she slid off the exam table and onto the floor, her cheeks burning a brilliant crimson color as Shizune gave her a puzzled frown. Smiling a shaky apology for her clumsiness, Sakura climbed back onto the table and waited until Shizune went back to writing before slapping her hands over her face in embarrassment. Oh, dear god! She did not almost think about sleeping with Kakashi! There was no way in hell it was ever coming to that. She was not losing her virginity over some stupid porno books, no matter what Tsunade threatened her with.

She jumped again at the touch on her shoulder and jerked her head out of her hands to find Shizune standing next to her, looking very worried. “Sakura? Are you alright?” Shizune questioned, pressing a cool hand along her forehead and cheek in concern. “You’re awfully warm. Do you have a fever?”

No… More like a really awful misdirection in thoughts. Pushing her hair back and plastering what had to be the most unconvincing smile in existence on her face, Sakura laughed tensely and said, “No, no I’m fine! Really, just… um… A clumsy moment, that’s all.”

“Hmm… That’s not normal for you. Are you sure you’re not experiencing a headache, dizziness, nausea… anything?”

Crap. Gritting her teeth, Sakura shook her head no while beating herself mentally for her lame excuse. She should have known better than to say something like that in front of a fellow medic. Admitting to a clumsy moment was never good when the slightest shake of the hand could misplace the healing chakra and actually cause more damage than good on a patient. Taking a deep breath to regain her composure, Sakura managed a more genuine smile as she repeated, “I’m fine. Honest. I was just thinking about something else, that’s all.”

A knowing look crossed over Shizune’s face shortly before she stepped back, her hands folded in front of her and her eyes down turned demurely. “I understand,” she said softly. “It has taken them longer than was anticipated, but from what I gathered from Tsunade-sama the situation had changed a little. See, the client failed to declare the correct number of people traveling so-,”

“What are you talking about, Shizune-san?” Sakura asked bewilderedly, her eyebrows pinching together tightly over her eyes. What situation? And what was taking longer than planned?

Blinking, Shizune glanced up at her with a frown. “You were thinking about Kakashi-san, correct? And the fact that his team’s late in returning?”

Oh… Oh! Shizune thought she’d been thinking about Kakashi? Well… yeah, she had. Just not in the way Shizune thought, or in the way she should be thinking either. Shizune was right though; Kakashi had been gone a long time. She’d heard Tsunade talking about it the other day with one of the mission coordinators. But the Hokage hadn’t sounded too concerned about it, so Sakura had chalked it up to Kakashi being late, as usual.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t worried about him though. She always felt some trepidation whenever someone she knew left the village, just because there was always the chance that they wouldn’t return. But… that was the way of it with ninja, and she had long ago come to terms with the fact that she either had to get used to it or find something else to do. And that was why she’d become a medic; because she couldn’t quite get used to it all the way. As a medic nin, she could at least help in keeping those she cared about alive. Including her teacher-turned-mission-target.

Sighing as her lips twisted wryly, Sakura shrugged and mumbled, “That obvious, huh?” It wasn’t quite a lie, seeing as she had been thinking about him.

Winking as she stroked Sakura’s hair soothingly, Shizune murmured back, “Only to someone who knows how you feel. If you don’t mind… may I ask how long you two have been seeing each other?”

Flushing bright red again, Sakura dropped her gaze to her lap and studied her nails self-consciously. “Oh, well… not very long. It’s still sorta… new.”

Nodding in understanding, Shizune pat her back gently and stepped away from her, returning to the countertop and the chart that needed filling out. “Forgive me for prying, Sakura-chan. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, no! It’s okay, Shizune-san. I know it’s kinda… weird and all, us dating. I mean, there is a pretty big age difference and…” Sakura scrunched her eyes closed again and silently told herself to shut the hell up. It was bad enough everyone knew she was dating Kakashi, why did she have to make it sound like she was pining for him on top of it?

“Honestly, Sakura-chan, I don’t think age is such a big issue when two people care about each other,” Shizune answered as she continued making notes in the chart. “If the person is good and decent… That’s all that matters. And Kakashi-san is a good man.”

Snorting and rolling her eyes, Sakura quipped, “I noticed you left off the ‘decent’ part though. A good thing, seeing as he’s anything but that.”

Shizune laughed at her joke and pulled the stethoscope from around her neck, inserting the ear pieces as she walked back over to Sakura. “True, but he’s harmless. Now, Jiraiya-sama on the other hand… Be certain you’re not left alone with him for more than a minute. And make very certain you’re never alone with him for more than thirty seconds if you’re wearing the standard uniforms, alright? Tsunade-sama has stories that will scar you for life about that man.”

“You mean like the one where he somehow talked seven female medics into an orgy right outside the Sandaime’s office?” Sakura grinned as the listening end of the stethoscope slipped abruptly out of Shizune’s hands as she was warming it up.

Cheeks pinkening ever so slightly, Shizune mumbled, “Yes, like that one.” Then, deciding that the conversation had gone quite far enough, she motioned for Sakura to sit up straighter. “You know what to do; deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds and release. Ready, and-“

Before Shizune could so much as settle the metal piece against her chest, the door to the exam room burst open and a wide eyed, pale faced chuunin came stumbling in. Gasping for breath, he ran over to Shizune and grabbed her arm, urgently dragging her toward the door. “Shizune-san, come quickly! We need you down in the emergency area and-,”

“Oda! You don’t just go waltzing into a closed exam room like that,” Shizune reprimanded as she pulled her arm free with a firm tug. “The medic on duty in emergency care is Fuzuki today and she’s more than capable of-,”

“No, it has to be you,” Oda exclaimed anxiously. “It’s Kotetsu-san! Anko-san suddenly appeared out of nowhere with him and is demanding that someone get you! Shizune-san… he’s bad. Kotetsu, I mean. I-I’ve never seen…”

That was all it took for Shizune to drop everything and hurry out of the room, leaving Sakura staring blankly at the panting chuunin still standing in the doorway. Kotetsu was injured… How awful. He’d been so nervous going on a mission with Anko and…

And Kakashi.

Gasping as a heavy, cold feeling flooded through her body, Sakura’s eyes widened fearfully as she struggled to remember how to breathe. That was Kakashi’s team, the escort mission. If Kotetsu was hurt, then that meant… “Oda,” she choked out. “Kakashi-sensei… is he… where is he?”

Oda gaped at her and shook his head. “He didn’t come back with them. Or, at least I didn’t see him there. God, Sakura… Kotetsu’s a mess! He’s covered in blood and- Sakura? Hey, Sakura, where’re you going?”

Sakura was already passed him and running barefoot down the hall of the hospital, uncaring that she was only wearing an examination gown and that people were openly gaping at her.