Almost Sucks

Almost Sucks
by Mashiro

Naruto fandom, series, no spoilers
AU, BOYS LOVE: Naruto x Sasuke, Kakashi x Iruka, Lee x Gaara

first version: February 23rd 2006, Thursday
second version: July 15th 2008, Tuesday

.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the rights to the Naruto series or characters and I make no money writing this. I’m just a fan. This is fan fiction.

.
.

10: Desperation drove me to it

.
.

“Why are you such an asshole all the time?”

“If I’m such a damned asshole, why are you stalking me?”

“I’m not...!” Naruto started yelling, then he turned abruptly silent, an ‘oops’ on his face, before finishing with a hiss. “...stalking you, I’m being nice.”

Sasuke gave him a look.

“If you wanted to be nice you would leave me alone.”

The look Naruto gave Sasuke was something like a combination of glare, pout, embarrassment and frustration. They were standing in Naruto’s room with their backs against the door. Sasuke’s arms were wrapped around a rolled up mattress and Naruto’s were wrapped around a comforter, a couple of pillows, sheets and covers. It smelled of sleep over. Iruka had given them a long look of doubt before handing over the stuff.

Naruto looked away. Sighed dramatically and left Sasuke’s side to dump comforter and things on his bed. The place was clean now, compared to the last time Sasuke had been here. Less pointless stuff spread all over, no toy robots in sight.

“I just think you’re... cool!” Naruto threw out with his arms. “We’re neighbors, I wanna be friends, what’s wrong with that?”

There was nothing wrong with that, Sasuke’s mind said. Nothing at all. It was just that Sasuke didn’t want any friends here, didn’t want to be here at all. He especially didn’t want this friend; even if this had been the city he wouldn’t have wanted this friend. The blond was too loud and too stupid.

“If you want me to leave you alone,” Naruto’s eyes were narrowed. “Why didn’t you take the couch?”

“Because I want to talk,” Sasuke said and shrugged. He left the door too and dropped the mattress on the floor.

“No, you don’t,” Naruto frowned suspiciously. “About what?”

His lips were pressed together in a pout. Sasuke felt a sliver of... something skip through his stomach. He had been almost excited about his plan before, as excited as he could be in this place he did not want to be in. It would be so amusing to see the look on Naruto’s face and it would be such a relief to get rid of him. Sasuke couldn’t wait to do it.

At least he was supposed to not be able to wait to do it.

“...I’ll go get my bag,” Sasuke muttered and before he knew it he was out the door.

He cursed himself all the way down the stairs for stalling. ‘What the hell is wrong with you? It’s not like you haven’t done it before. It can’t be that disgusting. And even if it is it will be worth it. Just do it!’

It was darker now too, dimmed, though the outside would not be real dark for a few hours yet. The first floor was quiet, enough that for a second Sasuke wondered if Iruka had gone out without telling them. He quickly decided that Iruka doing something like that was absurd; the man had to be around somewhere, only he was quiet.

Sasuke gritted his teeth and picked his bag off the floor. ‘Just get your ass upstairs and do it’. On his way back to the stairs, Sasuke was stopped and given half a heart attack when Iruka suddenly peeked out from a room that had to be the living room.

“Are you getting along?” the man asked and seemed nervous. “Are you sure you don’t want to take the couch?”

‘No’, Sasuke’s brain muttered.

“Yes,” Sasuke said. “We’re doing fine.”

“You could... watch TV if you’d like,” Iruka said. “Naruto is just banned from the Playstation. I’m reading, but it wouldn’t bother me. I could make some popcorn.”

“No, thanks,” Sasuke said and took another step toward the stairs, and one more when Iruka didn’t follow.

“Okay,” the man smiled nervously. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

“Right.”

When Sasuke was halfway up the stairs he glanced over his shoulder and found Iruka still standing in the doorway, watching. The man looked caught when Sasuke saw him and snapped out of it, was on his way away when Sasuke’s lips started moving, backed up by his vocal cords.

“You know he just wants to get into your pants, right?”

Iruka turned and looked confused.

“Excuse me?”

“Kakashi. He just wants to get into your pants.”

“I... don’t...” Iruka blushed. Sasuke wasn’t sure if the man thought it was a joke. “I-I’m sure that’s not it.”

“No, really,” Sasuke said. “He does it all the time.”

Iruka’s smile faltered and he almost frowned, then he tried the smile again, but it didn’t really work.

“All the time?”

“Yeah.”

It was the wrong response. ‘Into my pants? I thought he just liked my buns,’ would have been more expected, unless Iruka had been aware of what Kakashi was doing and okay with it and he couldn’t be; but Sasuke had too much on his mind for it to really sink in.

No, this was not what Kakashi had meant by behaving; Sasuke giving away his intentions and screwing up his chances with the latest flirt, especially since the whole point to this sleepover was increasing his chances, or so Sasuke assumed. But even with the blackmailing, Kakashi wasn’t naïve enough to think Sasuke would do nothing. He knew there would be payback, he had to know. Besides, he could probably talk his way out of it anyway. Deny or something. ‘Ooh, that kid is mentally challenged, don’t trust a word he says.’ Whatever.

Sasuke said good night to Iruka and went back up the stairs, leaving the man with his almost frown and failing smile. ‘Just do it’ was repeating in his head and he hated this sudden, unexpected bout of nervousness. He needed to get this over with. Ripping open the door, Sasuke stalked inside and spoke right after the door had slammed shut.

“Close your eyes,” he said, his voice a bit too loud and a bit too impatient.

Naruto looked up from where he sat on his bed, frowning over the fluffy comforter in his lap.

“Huh?”

The mattress had been rolled out on the floor next to Naruto’s bed, sheets draped over it. The pillows were covered and ready and Naruto was in the middle of pulling the cover over the last piece of sleepover equipment. He had worked fast. Sasuke sensed an air of impatience in him too, or something like it; his feet jumped against the floor.

“Close your eyes,” Sasuke repeated, slower and lower this time, dropped the bag on the floor.

“Why?” Naruto’s frown deepened and he looked at Sasuke like Sasuke was a door-to-door salesman trying to get him to buy something. His cheeks were gaining color again and it looked like he was aware that it showed but tried to ignore it.

“I want to show you something,” Sasuke tried not to get impatient, though it was hard. Stupid, untrusting... blond. He made his way over and sat down on the mattress in front of Naruto, waited. When Naruto was still frowning Sasuke sighed.

“Just do it.”

The large amount of soft ‘come on... please?’ surprised Sasuke. He met Naruto’s eyes and the frown on the blond’s brow stumbled and faltered. The blush increased and it wasn’t long before Naruto tore his eyes away, pouting rather than frowning. Internally, despite the nervous swirls in his stomach, Sasuke couldn’t help but smile. He had always had killer eyes; perfect for getting what he wanted, when he wanted it. He’d used them for candy when he was a kid and used them for cigarettes now. Age restrictions were no match for Sasuke’s eyes.

Naruto struggled for another moment with his eyes turned away but in the end gave in and let his lids cover his too blue eyes, muttering ‘if you hit me I’ll hit you back...’

Sasuke grabbed his knees through the comforter and Naruto flinched at the touch and looked even more nervous.

“What are you doing?” It was clinging to his voice as well.

Sasuke didn’t answer. Naruto didn’t move, just tensed, as Sasuke heaved himself up off the mattress. Naruto was allowed to be nervous, that was the whole point of this. Sasuke being nervous however was completely unfounded, he had done this countless times, but his stomach swirled anyway.

Maybe it was his CD. Kakashi was not supposed to find out about this, but what if he did? He wasn’t supposed to get angry enough to do something stupid either, but what if he did? Yeah, it was probably the CD.

Sasuke inched closer. The comforter was as fluffy as it looked and rustled under Sasuke’s hands. Naruto’s back, entire body actually, was stiff as a wooden board and he looked like he expected electrocution.

“You don’t want to be my friend,” Sasuke mumbled and leaned a bit closer. Naruto flinched again at the words, slightly. Sasuke could hear his heart beating.

Then he was suddenly pushed away, Naruto’s hands against his shoulders.

“I’m not smoking!”

Sasuke started at the sudden movement and sound and his nerves stumbled as fast frustration came rushing.

“Do you smell any smoke, you retard?”

“Don’t call me a retard, you bastard!”

“Stop screaming,” Sasuke hissed.

Naruto pouted, an angry pout now. Despite the outburst he hadn’t opened his eyes. His eyelashes fluttered as his eyes moved back and forth behind his eyelids. They were light in color, for eyelashes. His cheeks were still red. His hands dropped again and pressed down hard on the comforter, not far from Sasuke’s own. The silence only disturbed by heartbeats and fabric rustling came back and Sasuke’s anger ran away. Nervous again.

“I do wanna be your friend,” Naruto muttered.

Sasuke hesitated for a second before moving closer again, close.

“No, you don’t,” he said, knowing very well that Naruto would not let it end at that. He wet his lips.

“Yes, I...!” the blond started, agitated again.

The lips opened to let out the words and Sasuke was ready for it, dove right in and cut off the ‘do’; no looking back, no second thoughts, tongue first and silently wishing Naruto’s reaction wouldn’t be biting.

Perfect-neighborhood-in-a-small-town guy and homosexuality. Oil and water. Fish and desert. The impossible combination that would be Sasuke’s savior from his stupid retard stalker. If violence pulled him closer...

Sasuke had never been interested in girls; ironically, with the crowd of female fans he had a tendency to gather. He had kissed a few, a friend of a friend once and a couple of fans that had been unexpectedly bold and hard to avoid. But Sasuke didn’t like the girls, not like that. It had never really been confusing for him. He liked guys. As naturally and simple as with straight guys liking girls, he liked guys. It had never been something he worried or agonized about. He had stumbled across homophobia here and there, of course, but a broken nose or rib or arm and even the nastiest, cockiest guys changed their mind about teaching him a lesson. His sexuality had been the least of Sasuke’s problems over the years.

The lips against Sasuke’s were dry and stunned to immobility as Sasuke tasted them. His tongue was equally stunned as Sasuke slid his own over it, trailed the sides of it and the warm inside of the mouth.

Naruto’s lids had flown up and revealed his eyes at the impact of lips against lips and tongue against inside of mouth. His blue eyes burrowed into Sasuke’s now, closer than they had ever been, reflecting nothing but utter shock. Soon the disgust would come, Sasuke knew. Soon.

His hands were still on Naruto’s knees, keeping himself up straight, the comforter between them. Naruto’s hands were somewhere else, Sasuke didn’t care. The blue eyes and the warm mouth held his attention. Sasuke felt a sudden, violent urge to close his eyes and so he did. The world grew dark, but his mind remembered Naruto’s eyes and kept playing them inside. No escape. Sasuke was starting to think that maybe this wasn’t such an amazing idea after all.

Naruto’s tongue moved slightly, and his lips, and Sasuke opened his eyes again. He found something accompanying the surprise in the inescapable blueness, but he couldn’t put a name to what it was. It wasn’t disgust though and the doubts about the idea grew stronger. Sasuke’s stomach was invaded by cold and warm at the same time.

He closed his eyes again, hesitated for a second before pulling his tongue and mouth back, a soft squishy sound as they parted. The nervousness was there again and Sasuke worried it would eat him up from the inside. It took determination to open his eyes and look.

There was no surprise in Naruto’s eyes anymore, but that other thing that had come to keep it company before was still there; still unnamed, but it swirled Sasuke’s stomach. He swallowed.

“No, you don’t,” Sasuke finished.

Naruto pressed his lips together and licked them. That something in his eyes glimmered, then he looked sad, then determined. His hand flew out fast and buried in Sasuke’s hair. Before Sasuke could protest or react or even think he was pushed backwards and he fell and twisted and hit the mattress with a thump. Naruto fell with him, over him, but Naruto must have known what he was doing because they didn’t crash together as they should have done; it was more like they melted together, were pressed together and Naruto was heavier than he looked; heavier than Sasuke remembered from the last time he’d been pushed down by the blond. The comforter was still there, acting like a thick barrier between their crotches and Sasuke was grateful for it; he shouldn’t have anything to hide, but he was grateful.

Sasuke was kissed again. Or maybe this was the first time because the last time he’d been doing the kissing, hadn’t he? Was there a difference? Did it matter? Naruto’s tongue was hard and soft at the same time, wet and insistent and urgent and his lips were equally overwhelming. Their mouths were open. Naruto probably hadn’t done much kissing, if any, before, did not seem to know what he was doing, but for some reason it didn’t matter. His desperation made up for... everything really.

Naruto kissed like he talked, Sasuke realized, loud; only his mouth didn’t grate on the nerves as his talking did. It blew the nerves away.

Someone made a sound. A throaty, muffled moan that Sasuke hoped Naruto was responsible for, though he had a feeling it was him.

He found his hands grabbing onto Naruto’s sleeves, his eyes squeezed closed and his mouth kissing back. As well as he could with Naruto’s lack of good timing and skill. Sasuke wasn’t used to inexperienced kissers. It felt like the blond tried to eat him. There was a knee between Sasuke’s knees. This time Naruto moaned.

The lips lifted from his and the tongue retreated from his mouth. Rapid panting beat against Sasuke’s wet lips and he opened his eyes to find Naruto’s closed, his whole body heaving from his breaths. He looked exhausted, emotionally more than physically.

Then the realization of what had happened began to sink in; along with what should have happened and what Sasuke was aiming for. Naruto had kissed him. Naruto was not supposed to have kissed him, he was supposed to have pushed Sasuke away and yelled ‘eew!’ or something equally disgust expressing. Sasuke was supposed to get rid of the blond retard, not kiss back. He had kissed back? Why had he kissed back? What the hell was going on?

“You bastard,” Naruto spoke with a shaky voice between pants. Then his eyes opened and they were blazing. “You bastard!”

The blond swirled off Sasuke and away, got tangled in the comforter in the process and stumbled and kicked angrily to get free. Sasuke managed to push his back off the mattress and half-sat, leaning on his hands. His head just wouldn’t stop spinning, emotions and thoughts flying all around. Had they just kissed?

“You just did that to get me to hate you, didn’t you!? You are such an asshole!”

Naruto pointed accusingly at Sasuke from the other side of the room.

“Well, I won’t hate you! I refuse to hate you, Sasuke! I’m gonna love you until I die and then I’m gonna marry you!”

How the hell could Sasuke not have noticed? The blushing, the stalking; Naruto was like one of the fan girls only more difficult to get rid of, gutsy enough to punch Sasuke in the face and not a girl. And Sasuke had kissed him.

‘He’s got a crush on me.’

At the same time as he was stunned, one part of Sasuke wasn’t surprised at all; acted like it had known all along and muttered ‘finally...’ to the rest of him. ‘Say something sooner!’ he wanted to yell to that apparently well-informed part. ‘You knew that idea was moronic!’ Imagine the chances, running into a gay perfect-neighborhood-in-a-small-town guy when you desperately didn’t need one.

Iruka was yelling something from the stairs. Naruto was still pointing at Sasuke, his hand waving in the air as his body heaved with every hard breath. Sasuke found something rippling through him and put a hand over his mouth. The corners of his lips were pulled towards his ears and a snort came through his nose, followed by another and yet one more. A mix between giggles and snorts and quite uncontrollable.

He was not supposed to be laughing of course, but there was no reason to this anywhere else. Nothing went the way it should, no one acted appropriately; no effect followed the correct cause. And Sasuke’s head was still spinning.

.
.