A Crafty Chameleon

(I'm thinking)

"I'm speaking"

"Demon / summon / ghost speaking"


(Demon / summon / ghost thinking)


/Author's comments;

Another Language

Pairing: Harem – Naruto x OC 'Dan' / Ranmaru / Natsu /

Last Time:

"I love you big brother" Mina said as Naruto, Orochimaru and Hiruzen left ... she never noticed her parents and other older siblings stare at her in shock as they wondered when the fuck she learned german!

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"this is stupid" grumbled Sasuke as team 7 approached a building with a sign saying 'Konoha Theater' in front.

Kakashi opened his mouth to say something, but Naruto cut him off "actually learning how to act, seduce and even dance are important for any ninja to learn. There's much more to blending in than stalking in the shadows" Sasuke scowled, he didn't like it, but it made sense. He just hated the fact that Naruto is the one giving all the answers when he is the 'Rookie of the Year', he should be the smart one!

Sakura squealed "this will be fun! Hey, Naruto want to dance with me-"

"sorry Sakura, but Naruto already agreed to be my partner" exclaimed Natsu making Naruto chuckle as he confirmed the promise with a nod.

Kushina frowned as she watched her twins ... her twins, did she have the right to call them hers?

"hey, you guys must be my students, come in. We're headed to room 411"

Naruto smirked as he saw their instructor ... she was tall with short brown hair save for one long bang on her left side that was blue. Her name was Silvia Nightingale a.k.a the 'Scorpion', a master thief and grifter who works at Dan's company. This could get interesting ...

XXXXXXXXXX

Minato watched Mina through the crystal ball and then slammed his head into the desk ... why? It all started yesterday ...

Flashback

"so the only way we have a chance to get Naruto to trust us is to tell him everything, even the masked man?" said Kushina to her husband as they talked in his office.

The blonde nodded "yes he managed to punch so many holes in our story there's no way he'll trust us otherwise. He's smart, very smart and analytical" said Minato with pride in his voice.

"but ... he might hate us even more" she whispered.

The hokage got up and held his wife "I know, but there's no way we can get away with lies" he kissed his wife. That's when things became heated ... Kushina pushed her husband back down into his chair and straddled Minato before kissing him again ...

*cough*cough* the couple jumped and turned to see Naruto standing at the door "hey Jiji, you were wrong, the hokage seems very busy" Naruto yelled to Hiruzen in the next room. The former hokage has been volunteering his time to help with paperwork ... no, not filling it out, but giving it to the hokage to fill out. He has discovered a very sadistic side to himself that takes great pleasure in piling mountains of paperwork on Minato's desk and seeing the man cry.

"doing what?" yelled Hiruzen.

"they're clearly not satisfied with the number of kids they've traumatized so far so they're working on making more" Naruto yelled much louder than necessary. Kushina practically jumped off Minato and the two tried to fix their clothes ... suffice to say, the mood was ruined.

Naruto smirked as he heard his Jiji laughing and shut the door "Naruto what are you doing here?" asked a flustered hokage.

"you gave me a medical red tag, I would like to know what possible information about my medical records were concealed" said the ROOT agent.

"you never told us about your metabolism condition Naruto, so I had to" explained Minato

"did you read my medical report? Cause I know it was in there" remarked Naruto, if this red tag wasn't keeping him from missions he would find this situation hilarious.

Kushina frowned "yes, you gave them-"

"hold it, I never gave you my academy file- I see, you're confusing a medical report and medical files. A medical report is the summary of any health issues a ninja has that is stored in the ninja's academy file for future senseis to read. So I'll ask again, did you read my academy file?"

The red head sudden'y looked nervous "no, but I thought-"

"that I botched my file?" the ROOT agent nodded "yes I did botch most of it, but I had no choice in my report, especially if situations like these show up. The only reason it wasn't publicly known is because Jiji slipped it in before the last year of the academy started so no one noticed- wait why am I explaining all this when you could just check"

Minato flinched and riffled through his desk for a file "I found it ... everything is here, I'm sorry Naruto I'll remove the red tag"

"don't worry about it, mistakes are to be expected when you've been dead for 18 years" Naruto shrugged ignoring the depressed aura that appeared around the two Namikazes "oh, if I catch you two in that position again I'll preform a vasectomy on you, Minato. You can't handled the children you have so you have no need for more"

"that's not fair, we're good parents- n-never mind" stammered Kushina, she forgot who she was talking to.

"all the issues with me aside there's still one thing you're missing, where's Mina?" asked Naruto before opening the door and leaving, not even bothering to wait for an answer ...

Flashback Over

"I'm an idiot" grumbled the hokage. He and Kushina thought Mina was with her older siblings, but they checked the crystal ball and there she was baking cookies with Orochimaru and Konohamaru ... in the Sarutobi compound. They don't know how she got there ... "I don't know what to do? ... I'm sore, must be stress"

The mild ache he felt in his lower abdominal/pelvic region was not stress related, it was Naruto's way of preventing more drama ... yep, the ROOT agent did some snipping ...

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"alright you're mission requires you to go to a ball, right?" asked Silvia

Kakashi nodded "yes, we have to guard a certain person, but can't hide in the distance or be noticed"

Silvia smirked "then we'll start with a Waltz. You there help me demonstrate" she pointed at Naruto.

The blonde shrugged and walked to the 'dance instructor' to perform a Waltz "so what are you doing here Silvee?" he whispered in her ear.

"a job, don't call me Silvee" she hissed as they spun around.

"should I know something?" he whispered.

She spun away and smiled "excellent work, now whose next?" she said completely avoiding Naruto's question.

A certain pervert stepped forward and Naruto grabbed his wrist "hands above the waist sensei" was the only warning the blonde gave before letting go ... and it was all Kakashi needed.

Two hours later ...

"you guys have gotten the hang of it now so we're done for now, but I think you need a few more pointers" she looked at Naruto who nodded and stayed behind "the Uchiha almost broke my foot"

"yeah he has two left feet ... so what's going on?" asked the blonde.

"do you know what's great about having a boss like Dan? I don't have to have sex with him to suck up to him ... you do!" she shoved Naruto into a room labeled 'Props & Sets' and shut the door ...

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Naruto shook his head "I knew something was up" he shifted his eyes so he could see in the dark room and saw a stage with a single chair in front of it. He took the hint and sat down ... the lights came on ... the curtains went up ...

There on the stage were two very naked men Naruto knew all too well, Dan and Ranmaru ...

Dan pulled the purplette into his arms and they kissed passionately. Naruto sat back and watched as his lover's molested each other. Ranmaru let out the cutest moans as Dan locked his lips around his cock and slowly sucked as he fondled the curry cook's ass. The blonde licked his lips as Ranmaru squirmed and moaned in pleasure, not once did the purple haired cook take his eyes away from Naruto's.

"ahhhh ahhh oh god Dan s-stop I'm cumming" Dan pulled off the curry cook's cock before he reached his climax, but gave one last teasing lick to the weeping slit making Ranmaru squeak. Naruto's eyes widened and his pants tightened even further as Dan got down on all fours so Ranmaru could dip his tongue into the raven's ass.

"ooooh shit so good ahhh" moaned the dark skinned man as Ranmaru brought his hand up to fondle Dan's balls as he continued rimming the twitching asshole. Dan felt himself cumming, but they agreed to only cum with Naruto so Dan flipped Ranmaru and climbed on top of the curry cook to play with the pink nipples.

*crack* the two perverts looked at their 'audience' and saw cracks in the armrest of the chair Naruto was sitting in ... he was trying so hard not to jump them that he gripped the armrest way too hard "please tell me the audience gets to participate soon"

Ranmaru smiled with his eyes glazed over with lust "hmmm what do you think Dan?"

"sure why not-ahhhhhh" before Dan could finish his sentence Naruto thrust his very hard cock deep into his ass. Naruto pushed in so hard that Dan's hips bucked forward so that his cock went into Ranmaru ... but no one seemed to mind. The blonde was basically fucking both of his loves at once. Every thrust made both his lovers scream ...

"oooh god I'm cumming ahhh" screamed Ranmaru as Dan's cock slammed into him at the furious pace Naruto set.

"me too ooooh ooooh fuck" Dan's eyes rolled back as he came flooding Ranmaru's tight channel as Naruto filled him to the brim with hot seed.

Naruto pulled out of Dan and rolled off to the side as Dan and Ranmaru moved on either side of him so they could cuddle "I never expected you two to be so perverted"

"you must be rubbing off on us" chuckled Ranmaru.

Dan got up and walked over to a rack of clothes ignoring the cum trickling down his leg "yes your perversity and stamina ... we aren't done yet love" he pulled out a pink feather boa and Ranmaru straddled the blonde's waist ...

XXXXXXXXXX

"where have you been Naruto? The ball is in an hour!" exclaimed Kushina

"I will never look at a feather boa the same way again" was all the ROOT agent said before heading upstairs to get dressed letting a pink feaather float to the ground behind him ... leaving the rest of his team behind and very confused.

One hour later ...

The ninja got into the limo behind their client "sensei, shouldn't we have searched the area for possible vantage points" Naruto whispered.

Kakashi shook his head "no we'll be indoors"

The ROOT agent sweat dropped (that's right, Kakashi was only an anbu not a ROOT anbu so he has never guarded a foreign diplomat or even taken missions outside of the elemental nations before so why should he expect a sniper or something ... come to think of it he hasn't done much since the nine tails attacked ... well at least one person on this team isn't rusty or green) he created six clones that took off the to patrol the buildings nearby and closed the car door behind him.

"this is going to be fun!" exclaimed Natsu. Naruto smiled at his brother’s excitement and hoped this wouldn’t the difficult mission he expected. They all got out of the car after it stopped in front of a beautiful old Japanese building where the party was to take place and escorted their client into the building under the guise of guests.

(I thought so, two snipers … and both are now incapacitated, but there’s always a plan B) thought the ROOT agent as he felt his clones kill the assassins. The evening was running smoothly until their client excused himself to go to the facilities …

A waiter casually followed him towards the bathroom and pulled out a knife as the diplomat entered, but before he could slip into the bathroom someone clapped a hand over his mouth.

“not on my watch” said the man behind the waiter before he snapped the waiter’s neck …

XXXXXXXXXX

Natsu looked up to see Naruto coming back from the bathroom and towards their group “hey Naruto isn’t this place awesome! The food is great too”

“yes it is” said the ROOT agent.

“what’s that in your hand Naruto?” asked Kushina

“a knife, one of the serving staff must’ve dropped it” said Naruto with a shrug as he dropped the utensil on the table.

Kakashi eye smiled “well our client is fine and our mission is complete. See Naruto, there was no reason to worry”

 “yeah” (I have three dead assassins that say otherwise … if I wasn’t concerned about traumatizing our client I’d let you see how wrong you are)