Iteration

‘Iteration’ is part of the space saga that began with ‘In the cold of space you find the heat of suns’ and continues in ‘Tales in Tarrasade’. There is also a one-shot ‘Silver Leaf Tales: Tying the knot’.

Thanks to Small Fox for being my beta. For this story he has also been my muse, suggesting a number of the ideas that have evolved to create this arc.

Thank you to those readers who have written a review and particular thanks to V-anon, liby318, disembodiedvoiceofthedying, unneeded, lonelylulaby, Prism0467, blugirlami21, sadie237, angelj232000, silentnight, telynaayuri, YamanashiOchinashiIminashi, Aflyingmonkey123, satterb, xxShadowheartxx, Dorkchic, cynaga and Nescafe who reviewed after chapter 100 was posted.

It is almost exactly a year since I started writing this story. Thank you for all your support. Every review and message is treasured.

Apologies if the characters have grown differently in their new environment.

This is posted in the Naruto/Sasuke section because it is part of a Naru/Sasu/Naru space saga. However, it does feature many other pairings (and a few threesomes). Apologies to those hoping for Sasuke/Naruto or Naruto/Sasuke action in every chapter.

---

Chapter one hundred and one: Edges

---

Inryoku spotted the folded sheet of paper first. En-chan did not notice when something was out of place but he always did. That was Inryoku did what little tidying they did, with En-chan moaning every step of the way.

“Did you put that there?” he asked.

En-chan was off thinking of something else. Inryoku waited until he was paying attention.

“No,” En-chan answered and then was gone again.


He sighed; En-chan had always been slow in the morning but he was worse now. It was like that with everything; being trapped in the apartment made them sadder, thinner, jumpier, more manic and more fearful. Unfortunately it had not had the same effect on the good things.

It was better since the door. The door was open from mid morning until mid afternoon. Kakashi-san, who was scary, had made it clear that everyone had to be on the correct sides of the door when the automatic lock engaged. One mistake and the door would stay closed as a punishment.

Hana always made sure they were always on their side with minutes to spare.

“Do you think Shika-san will come today?” En-chan asked.

Inryoku sighed. “No. He explained. He is looking after his little sister as well as hunting Deidara and Orochimaru.”

En-chan’s good mood wilted. “He has not visited in ages,” he whispered. He turned their head towards the paper. “Do you think Hana left that there?”

Inryoku was sure he would have noticed if she had. En-chan moved towards it, picked it up and unfolded it.

“It’s from Haru-chan!” En-chan squealed.

It was indeed sighed ‘Haru’. Inryoku decided to play along. “That’s nice,” he replied. Privately, he knew it was one of En-chan’s fantasies.

He had been tired last night. He had fallen asleep before they had gone to bed. En-chan must have taken advantage of how deeply asleep he was to create the letter.

Making the little drawings around the edges was a nice touch.

Inryoku did not comment when En-chan insisted on writing a reply; it was harmless and it kept him happy.

He did notice that En-chan did not mention the letter or the reply to Hana or Konan.

---

Enerugi decided that it had been a good day. First there had been the letter from Haru and the challenge of writing a reply. Then the door had opened and they had gone into Konan-san’s apartment to play with the baby while Hana cleaned and tidied the apartment.

Lunch had been fine. Choza-san had brought a basket the day before so there were lots of the things Enerugi like to eat. After lunch they had worked with Hana and Konan on the garden while Nagato-chan gurgled and cooed at them.

Usually the door shutting felt like them being put back in a prison cell. Today it had not seemed so bad.

Part of him had expected to see his reply gone but it was still there where Haru’s letter had been.

Enerugi was looking forward to seeing who came for Haru’s reply. Would it be Haru himself? Or someone else? How would he or she get in when the doors were locked?


He sat in the armchair and waited. Inside, In-chan was asleep. Enerugi suspected that In-chan thought the letter from Haru was one of his games.

But it wasn’t. There was a noise from another room. Then, in one of the doorways, there was a small figure.

It was a child, male and strangely familiar, but it wasn’t Haru.

“Are you here for Haru’s reply?” Enerugi asked.

The child nodded.

“I am Enerugi. Haru calls me En-san. Inryoku, In-san, is asleep.”

The child nodded and crept closer to the table to reach the letter.

In-chan was waking up. That was bad. He might scare the child. Enerugi tried to keep him away from their body; even though he knew he shouldn’t. In-chan fought back.

Their body jumped.

“What’s happening?” In-chan demanded.

The child grabbed the letter and ran.

---

At first Inryoku had thought it was a dream; a boy who wasn’t Haru but who was hauntingly familiar. He decided to wake up only to find En-chan was trying to hold him back.

They never did that to each other. It was their number one rule. He shoved back and En-chan immediately gave way.

Their body over-reacted, their muscles suddenly contracting, and Inryoku thought he saw a small figure running from the room.

It couldn’t be real.

He decided that it wasn’t real. He was sharing En-chan’s fantasy. Maybe it was a hallucination; it had happened before, just not for a long time.

“Sorry,” En-chan whispered. “I thought you would scare him away and you did.”

Inryoku wilted. He knew that En-chan hated being trapped in the apartment but it had been better lately. En-chan liked playing with Nagato-chan and they both loved working in the garden.

Coping with En-chan when he lost his grip on reality had been hard. Inryoku remembered having to constantly evaluate what his senses told him; was it real or one of En-chan’s hallucinations?

“He took the letter. That’s good,” En-chan declared. “Maybe he’ll come back tomorrow night with another letter.” He stood them up. “Time for bed.”

Inryoku sighed.

---

Ran swarmed through the ducts and dropped into the lower void. He crouched; trembling.

Haru had not told him that the Zetsus were so scary. He could still see the weird black and white face as the man lurched towards him.

A few deep breaths and he was calmer. He checked the letter was safe. Then it was across the lower void, up the shaft, into the middle void and through the ducts to his room.


Next morning he went to the playroom. Once he and Haru were alone in their corner, Ran slid the folded paper across the table.

“You didn’t tell me he was scary,” Ran whispered.

Haru scowled at him. “They aren’t. They’re just En-san and In-san.” He claimed the letter and gave a brief smile. “Thanks, Ran.”

Ran was pleased that Haru was excited. It meant he forgot about being sad. He watched as Haru read the letter.

Maybe reading was useful after all. Ran had wanted to read until he realised that the tablets spoke the words for you. Then it seemed pointless.

The paper that Haru was holding could not speak the words. Ran remembered how much he had wanted to read before, when it would have been useful.

“Teach me to read,” he suggested.

Haru looked up from his letter. “Biwako-san or Iruka-san or Kono-san could teach you better,” he replied.

Ran just looked at him.

Haru shrugged. “If that’s what you want,” he agreed.

Perhaps the Zetsus weren’t that scary. “Take another letter tonight?” Ran asked.

Haru smiled. “Yes, please.”

---

“Maybe he’d be less scared if we left the face paint off,” En-chan suggested.

Inryoku’s hand shook as he was making the line down their face. It was an unnerving suggestion. In many ways it was worse than the hallucinations.

En-chan’s hand started taking off the wobbly line with cleanser.

“You aren’t the one who won’t be there,” Inryoku objected.

“You don’t even think he’s real, so what do you care?” En-chan argued.

Inryoku was shocked that En-chan was acknowledging his disbelief. “I never said that,” he replied, cautiously.

En-chan shrugged. “I can tell. Face paint for the day but we take it off for the night,” he suggested. “Just this once. We did it when we went to buy stuff for the ship.”

Inryoku found himself agreeing.


So they were sitting in the chair, their face freshly cleansed. Inryoku felt naked.

En-chan had put a plate of treats and a glass of fruit juice on the low table. He had placed a cushion for the imaginary child to sit on. He had wrapped and labelled two small presents. One label said ‘Haru’. The other was blank.

Inryoku sighed. It was way out of control.


Then there were sounds from the room next door and the imaginary child entered. He was scarily real; En-chan’s psychosis had to be severe this time.

“You washed your face,” the child said in such a soft voice that they had to strain to hear.

“We didn’t want to scare you again,” En-chan replied.

The child took a few steps into the room. He was eerily familiar.

“Haru explained,” the child admitted. “The dark half stands for In-san. Is he asleep?”

En-san chuckled. “No, but he doesn’t think you are real.”

The child came closer. “No, I’m real. I wasn’t once but I am now.” He focused on the table. “Are those for me?” he asked.

“One of the presents is for Haru. The rest is for you,” En-chan explained. “What’s your name? I couldn’t put a name on your label.”

“Ran,” the child answered, sitting down on the cushion and picking up a cookie. “Choza makes these,” he observed.

“Choza made those ones,” En-chan acknowledged.


Inryoku was struggling. It was just too real. Maybe it was him who was crazy, or maybe both of them.

The name Ran was, again, familiar. Then he had it. The child looked like Ranmaru, the print who had looked after Haru. Only he was much younger; a child version.

He had to be a product of their imagination.

He watched the child eat. Crumbs fell from the cookie as he bit into it. Did hallucinations leave crumbs?

“How did you get here, to Tarrasade?” he heard himself ask.

The child, Ran, looked across. “Is that In-san?” he asked.

“Yes,” En-chan confirmed.

“On a ship. It is called the Oak,” he replied.

“And before that?” Inryoku asked.

“I was asleep for a long time. In a pod. The child catcher sold me to a man instead of killing me.” He stopped eating. “He killed all the others.” He shivered and then took another bite of his cookie. “There are no child catchers here.”

Child catchers were very much the stuff of fantasy.

But when the child was gone there was an empty glass, a plate with crumbs, no presents and a letter from Haru.

---

Haru woke up excited. He was thinking about the Zetsus rather than To-chan, Papa and Shi-chan.

Kazuki picked up on his mood. There was lots of nudging and a bit of shoulder-barging. Haru found himself laughing.

“Come on you two,” Kiba-san said but he was smiling rather than telling them off.


His good mood lasted until Neji-san brought Sumiko to the playroom. Where was Shi-chan? Shi-chan always brought Sumiko.

Neji was speaking with Kiba. Haru crept closer, hoping to hear.

“...infirmary,” Neji was saying. “I hope it is just a matter of too little sleep and too many stims but...”

“Haru-chan?” Kiba-san queried, cutting Neji off.

Haru decided to ask. “Where is Shi-chan?”

Neji turned to him. “He’s just tired, Haru-chan. He’s sleeping in.”

Haru knew it was a lie. Neji was lying about Shi-chan like Papa was lying about To-chan. Shi-chan was in the infirmary. Haru imagined him in a tank like To-chan.


He went back into his corner. There was no sign of Ran. Haru hoped he was all right. Perhaps he had fallen from the ladder.

It was training with Itachi-can first thing. Haru could not concentrate. Even Kazuki got annoyed with him. Then Itachi-san put him in Hikaru’s team against Hoshi’s. They lost and it was Haru’s fault.

Hikaru pushed him. “You could have tried,” he complained.

“Hikaru-chan! Come here,” Itachi-san ordered.

Then Itachi-san told him off in front of everyone for being a poor leader. Haru hung his head. It was his fault; Itachi-san telling Hikaru off was only going to make it worse.


It did. Hi-chan could not let it go; there was a poke here and a comment there. Haru was worried about To-chan and Shi-chan and Ran. He just wanted Hikaru to go away and leave him alone.

Hoshi gave Hikaru one of her looks; warning him that there was a limit to what she would permit. In response, Hi-chan let up.

Then Hoshi went off to her extra music lesson; the one she had on her own. Hikaru was back immediately, determined to goad Haru into responding.

There was still no sign of Ran.

Finally, Kazuki snapped at Hikaru and was put in the punishment corner. That left nothing between them.

“Shi-chan, Shi-chan, why don’t you pay me any attention anymore?” Hikaru whined in what Haru guessed was meant to be an imitation of his voice.

He did not want to think about Shi-chan. “Shut up,” he warned.

“Make me,” Hikaru challenged.

Haru was not going to hit him. If he hit first it would be his fault, like Ka-chan had been blamed for snapping. Instead he looked Hi-chan directly in the eyes. “You and I are second best,” he stated.

Hikaru stared back. For a moment he looked frightened. Then his confidence flooded back. “Rubbish,” he declared.

“Te-chan and Ta-chan’s genetic parents are Papa and To-chan,” Haru told him. “If they had known how to do that seven standards ago, you and I would never have been born.”

Hikaru was on the edge. One more push and he would crack. He would hit first.

“Or maybe I would, because my genetic parents are Papa and Shi-chan. Yours are Papa and...” He paused for effect. “...a bunch of random chromosomes.”

Hikaru was staring at him. Then he burst into tears.


Haru was horrified. He had wanted Hi-chan to hit him, not to start crying. He tried to make it better. He tried to say that Hikaru was the best Uchiha the computer could come up with but Hi-chan wasn’t listening.

Then Kiba-san was there. He gave Haru a look and crouched down. “Hikaru-chan, what is wrong?” he asked.

“Ha-chan said that Papa and To-chan didn’t really want me,” Hikaru sobbed. He looked at Kiba-san with tear-filled eyes. “Is it true that Te-chan and Ta-chan are To-chan’s children but I’m not?”

Kiba-san gathered Hi-chan to him and hugged him. “You are Naruto-san’s son and he loves you very, very much,” he insisted. “Your Papa and your To-chan wanted you from the moment they thought of you. Your To-chan loved you every moment you were in the gestator and every moment since. He still loves you, even in the tank.”

Haru wished he believed that but people in tanks didn’t feel.

Kiba-san swept Hikaru up and took Haru’s hand. Haru knew where they were going. They were going to Papa’s office.

---

Sasuke was sitting at his desk staring at the drawing of Naruto. The regeneration using Keizo’s cells was failing. The day before yesterday, Rin had come to him and asked him if he would overrule Naruto’s instructions.

He had hadn’t thought she would do that.

And he hadn’t thought he would say no.

It was the correct decision but that did not make it any easier. It was up to Naruto to change his mind rather than Sasuke to take the decision for him.

He had told Rin to start looking into implants but had repeated his instruction not to involve Shikamaru.

Rin was talking about stabilising Naruto and waking him.

It would be up to Sasuke to tell him that the regeneration had been unsuccessful and that they were facing a very different life than the one they had shared so far.


Then, this morning, Neji had informed him that Shika had collapsed and was now sleeping, sedated, in the infirmary. Sasuke was not surprised. Sumiko was being even more difficult than any of them, even Biwako-san, had expected. Neji had admitted that he wished they had delayed unpodding her.

Sasuke was not sure he agreed with Neji. He suspected that there would be no good time to unpod Sumiko. Leaving it longer would only delay the inevitable pain.


The door announcer sounded. He almost used the speaker to ask who it was but that was rude when there was no reason for it. Instead he changed the display frame to show Naruto with the children and opened the door.

It was Kiba. He was carrying Hikaru, who was crying. Beyond them, sitting in the corridor, was Haru.

Sasuke sighed. He recognised the scenario. It looked like Hikaru was the victim this time and Haru the culprit.

Sometimes he wished they could be sensible, like Hoshi, or easy going, like the kits, or stoic, like Ryuu. Not often; he loved each of his children for being himself or herself.

Kiba put Hikaru down on the furthest away of the comfortable chairs, the closest to the display frame, and walked back to Sasuke who was still at his desk.

“They have been sniping at each other all morning,” Kiba whispered. “Haru told him that Naruto-san is Teruko and Takara’s genetic parent and it has really upset him.”

Sasuke’s heart sank. He and Naruto had intended to tell the children about their different origins. They had even discussed it. They had been going to talk about what a gift it was to have such an amazing variety of sons and daughters to love. Shika had been going to base a story around it.

Only they had not done it and Haru, somehow, had found out.

He would worry about that later. For now Hikaru was the priority.

“Thank you, Kiba-san. I shall take it from here. Please could you tell Haru-chan to wait in the corridor?”


Kiba nodded and left. Sasuke went down to the other end of the room, lifted Hikaru up and sat down with him in his lap.

“I love you very much,” he assured him. “You are my son and I am very, very proud of you.”

Hikaru looked at him, obviously uncertain.

“And I know your To-chan feels the same,” Sasuke continued. “He loves you very, very much.”

Hikaru blinked back fresh tears. “I’m not second best?” he asked.

Sasuke hugged him close and then kissed his forehead. “Never, Hikaru-chan, never.” He touched the crest over Hikaru’s heart. “You are Uchiha. There is nothing second best about Uchiha.”

“Te-chan and Ta-chan aren’t better because To-chan is their ’netic parent?” he asked.

Sasuke held him a little tighter. “No, Hi-chan. You are all the best.”

“To-chan doesn’t love them more?” he checked.

Sasuke smiled at the ridiculous thought of Naruto not loving one of his children to the absolute limit of his capacity. “No, he loves each of you as much as he possibly could.”

Hikaru looked directly into his eyes. “You don’t love them more?” he asked.

And Sasuke discovered that he didn’t, which was wonderful. “No, I love each of you so much it fills me up to the very top,” he replied.

Hikaru finally relaxed. “Good,” he acknowledged. “I love you too, Papa.”


They sat for a while but Sasuke knew he should not leave Haru sitting in the corridor too long. He asked Hikaru if he could walk back to the playroom on his own and then carried him out into the corridor, beyond where Haru was sitting, and put him down after one last hug.

Then he turned back to Haru.

“You, inside,” he ordered.


He sat at his desk with Haru standing on the other side of it. Sasuke could see how pale he was but decided that it was not the time to be soft. Haru had to learn that there were some things you just did not do.

“How did you find out about Teruko and Takara?” he asked.

Haru went even paler.

“Did you hack into the medical files?” Sasuke demanded.

Haru gave one, small nod. “Yes, Papa,” he admitted.

Sasuke could not imagine Rin or the other medicos giving Haru the slightest opportunity to connect to one of the consoles in the infirmary.

“How?” he insisted. He could see that Haru did not want to tell him. Had it been via the data streams? If so, he would have broken his promise. Sasuke took a very dim view of anyone breaking a promise but particularly an Uchiha.

“I piggybacked on Rin-san’s wireless access,” Haru told him.

Sasuke’s gut twisted. Traditionally Uchiha used hardwired systems because they were more reliable and much more secure. Shino had persuaded them that additional short-range wireless communication was a convenience with very few associated risks.

It was not Shino’s fault. He had only been considering the danger of a hacker from outside, who would never be close enough to pick up the signal.

He refocused on Haru. “And her security?” he asked.

Haru shrank a little more. “I broke it.”

Sasuke began a mental list of all the systems Haru could have accessed; far too many. Shika should never have allowed him to have a tablet with wireless capacity.

Haru was wearing his satchel. That meant he had his tablet with him. He held out his hand.

“Give me your tablet,” he ordered.

Haru did not move. For a moment Sasuke wondered if he had heard. Then he realised that Haru was defying him.

“The tablet, Haru, now,” he insisted, annoyed.

Haru still did not move. Sasuke’s annoyance deepened. He decided to try a different approach.

“Haru, put your satchel on the desk,” he instructed.

“No,” Haru replied.

Sasuke experienced a small flash of anger. He took two deep breaths. It was nothing to be angry about. It was just Haru being stubborn.

“Haru!” he commanded.

Haru jumped and Sasuke felt momentarily guilty but it was swamped with irritation. Haru fumbled with the fastenings on his satchel. Sasuke watched as he opened the flap and brought out his tablet.

Sasuke stood up and reached out, fully expecting Haru to hand him the tablet.

Instead Haru swung it up and smashed it on the edge of the desk.

Mother’s desk.

Sasuke stared at the ugly scratches. There was a gouge at the edge. He could see raw wood with tiny splinters.

Then, sweeping away his shock, came fury. It erupted from the deep in his core and flooded every corner of his being. He lunged across the desk, intent on his target, his hands clutching for Haru’s shirt.

Haru stepped back, just out of reach. Sasuke’s hands closed on air.

His eyes caught sight of Naruto’s image. It was as if the blue eyes were looking at him.

Haru’s blue eyes were staring at him; wide with terror.

Sasuke battled to control himself. The urge to attack, to punish, was overwhelming. He forced himself back into his chair.

“Get out of my sight,” he ordered. “Now!”

For a split second Haru just stood there. Then he ran.


Sasuke sat there with his body held rigid. Rage coursed through his body. Then Naruto’s eyes drew his gaze to the far end of the room.

Slowly, gradually his vision widened; from eyes to face and then golden hair. He let out a shuddering breath. The rest of the image came into focus: the triplets arranged on Naruto’s lap and the other children clustered about him. At the front were Kazuki and Haru.

Memories of his family and how much he loved them washed the rage away.

He was on his feet heading for the door.

He had to find Haru.

---