Angel's Touch

Artemis: Today I’m going to share my biggest of online pet peeves…

I once was reading a great Yami/Seto story on ff.net, but then the stupid author in the sequel changed it to Yami/Yugi and had Yami leave Seto!!!! I hate Yami/Yugi. That’s like, the sugary most disgusting fluff possible. >_< That’s like…Sasuke/Sakura actually lovey-dovey or like eating a hole bag of pure sugar without a drink and oh god…there is nothing more sickening fluff then Yami/Yugi. I hated her for that, especially because she didn’t warn the readers, and because I love my Seto and she was extremely mean to Seto in the break up. I mean super mean to the point I was crying. (These are yugioh characters in case you don’t know).

The point of this was to simply say…No, I’m not changing this to Neji/Naruto or Gaara/Naruto. So stop asking me that. If you want to read a Gaara/Naru or Naruto/anyone other then sasuke story…go read one elsewhere. Or write one yourself. You won’t find it here with me. Neji’s crush on Naruto is simply for the enjoyment of a jealous Sasuke. As for Gaara and Naruto, they’ll be close and brotherly possibly, because I do like that. But I’m not pairing them up. Gaara is reserved for Lee-san! *nods firmly* And Sasuke isn’t a bad person. *cries and hugs him*

Note: I love Kakashi. ^^ And I make a reference in this chapter with Kakashi solely to make fun of people that call Sasuke an ‘emo’…cause the guys at my college call him that all the time. XD

The theme for this chapter and the next is based on life itself. Sooner or later we have to face our pasts. Sooner or later we have to take on responsibilities, and to do so we must overcome our fear of them and grow stronger. I felt like it was a good theme for Sasuke, and that's why I had made what happened happen, including the stadium incident.

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Chapter 9: Fear and Responsibility

“…I think we should call this whole thing off. In fact…I know we should. I don’t want you around me anymore and I don’t want to see your stupid face again. Go back to heaven where you belong or find someone else to annoy. We’re through.”

The words echoed in Sasuke’s mind as he locked his door. Turning, he leaned heavily against the wood and bowed his head, the cold mask melting away to one of pain. He tightened his shaking hands and bit his lip, staring intently at the door mat.

He could hear voices outside and listened, though he really didn’t want to hear Naruto cry. An older male voice was saying something. Then Naruto’s declaration that Sasuke hated him cut through the walls like a dagger sent straight for Sasuke’s heart. Sasuke stepped away from the door quickly as if to dodge it and walked towards a chair to sit down, shakily lighting a candle that sat on the end table.

The lights in his apartment were off and the whole place was shadowed. He’d felt like lingering in the dark for a while now, so he hadn’t bothered to open a curtain or anything. Lying back in his chair, he chewed gently on his thumb nail and stared at the little flame dancing on the wick.

In the flame he could see memories staring back at him, haunting and painfully clear. A lifeless body lying in the road…blood covering the sides of a car…his mother shoving him into the closet and closing the door on him…the blood painted over everything…

Sasuke moved to run his hand over his face before covering his mouth. He closed his eyes to the candlelight, struggling to hold back tears that threatened to spill out. His other hand gripped the armrest with such edge that his knuckles began to turn white. Then he tensed, realizing someone else was in the room with him. Quickly drawing all the emotions back in, Sasuke stood up and looked around with a scowl.

“Naruto, that better not be you! I told you…go HOME.”

He was met with no reply, but Sasuke knew there was someone else in the room. It was just that sense you develop after a while. Growling, Sasuke grabbed the TV remote, prepared to use it as a weapon if he must. A chuckle from behind him made him jump where he stood and whirl around to face the intruder.

“You’re very combative, aren’t you?” Kakashi asked, smiling at Sasuke from his seat in Sasuke’s chair. “What were you going to do with that? Whack me to death?”

“I just might,” Sasuke replied curtly, glaring at the offending man.

They’d met back in the hospital. Hatake Kakashi if Sasuke remembered correctly. He’d introduced himself as Naruto’s former sensei. Scowling at him, he tossed the remote to the ground and took a seat on his couch.

“I’m serious. Naruto has to go.”

Sasuke waited for Kakashi to reply, growing annoyed when he did nothing more then just sit there with that rather annoying mask. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. He was really starting to hate that face mask.

“I like your place. Very…emo-ish?” Kakashi complimented after a while of silent staring.

Sasuke glared at him for that. “What do you want?”

“You know cutting is addictive,” Kakashi randomly advised.

Sasuke’s eye twitched in annoyance.

“I was just saying…” Kakashi shrugged and smiled in his crinkle eyed way. “But I suppose if you’re going to be pissy about it………I’m here to talk to you about Naruto.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Sasuke huffed, looking away with a frown.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, “Oh? But he’s your guardian angel. Aren’t you happy to have one?”

“I never asked for an angel to protect me. I don’t really want anyone protecting me!” Sasuke scowled, hanging his head to hide his face behind his bangs.

Kakashi remained quiet, looking at Sasuke with weary thoughtfulness.

“I don’t.”

Kakashi sighed and tilted his head, “Why not? Everyone needs someone. What are you afraid of?”

“I’M NOT AFRAID!” Sasuke shouted at him.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow again.

“I’m just sick of it. Everyone that has ever protected me has gotten killed. I’m tired…of watching it,” Sasuke continued, gritting his teeth. He wasn’t going to cry. Not anymore.

“I understand, Sasuke. More then you may realize. But…Naruto needs this. He needs you.” Kakashi sighed, sitting up and smiling lightly. “And you need him. Besides, I remember his first day of Angel Academy. In the middle of orientation, just as we explained that an angel could either be a soldier or a guardian, Naruto stood up in the middle of the congregation and announced that he wanted to be Uchiha Sasuke’s guardian.”

Sasuke frowned at that, turning his gaze to his feet. “Why me? How did he even know me?”

“Sasuke…you and Naruto are connected,” Kakashi replied simply, folding his hands together.

“Connected?” Sasuke frowned, staring at the older man.

“It’s…a little hard to explain. But you’ll figure it out for yourself soon enough.” Kakashi sighed and shrugged. “The concern right now is Naruto and his safety.”

Sasuke looked down again, swallowing thickly.

“Sasuke…you may not remember what happened at the stadium. Since you were unconscious, it’s understandable. But I believe you need to be made aware, regardless of what the old farts in the counsel say,” Kakashi sighed. “Naruto is the reincarnation of a Saint Beast.”

Sasuke looked up, unsure of what that meant. “Are you saying he’s not an angel?”

Kakashi shook his head and sighed, sitting back in the chair, “No. He is an angel, without a doubt. But he is also the reborn spirit of Kyuubi no Kitsune. A long time ago, before God and humankind, a group of powerful spiritual beasts created and ruled this planet. It was a time before humans, when only animals existed. They were…in short…the animal gods and they pretty much got along. Then God came along and with him came humans. It was all ok at first. God was more powerful then the beast gods, but he treated them with love and respect. But after a while, some of the beast gods grew to hate the rivaled intelligence of man and God. They turned against him and mankind and tried to destroy everything. It was the first holy war.”

“I can understand why the animals would hate humans,” Sasuke mumbled, thinking on the history of the human race itself and its destructive tendency’s towards nature.

Kakashi smiled sadly, “Yes. There is some point in their views. But nature itself is a thing of its own. Its origins are something no god of beast or man knows. No one truly has the right to make decisions for it.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at that.

“Yes. Very interesting isn’t it? Nature and time both are things that were always there, even before the days of knowing,” Kakashi mused.

Sasuke shrugged and looked back down.

Kakashi took that as a silent agreement and continued his thoughts, “Truthfully, there really is no set good or evil. Just opposing opinions that sooner or later clash against one another for dominance. Humans fail in that understanding, and think that heaven is ‘good’ and hell is ‘evil’. It’s really a silly, narrow-minded view.”

Sasuke snorted, agreeing just a bit.

Kakashi chuckled at him, “There really is no ‘hell’ in the sense that humans believe. It goes back to the beast gods and the holy war. Some of the beast gods disagreed with each other and joined God in the battle. These were the four oldest and strongest of the animal gods. They later became known as the Saint Beasts.”

“You mean there are others?” Sasuke asked, looking at him.

Kakashi nodded, “Nine in total. The five youngest went rogue and created their own ‘heaven’. That is the hell humans believe in. No Satan. Just another plane of existence ruled by the five who hate humankind. And that’s how we get to today’s topic of Naruto’s safety. Those reborn of the beasts suffer tragic mortal lives. Humans have a hard time excepting what’s different, and reborn beast gods are definitely different from their fellow humans. They have powers others don’t have, and most of the time they share similarities with their animal side. So when growing up among mortals, these children are often destined for misery. And just because that child was a Saint Beast in his previous life, doesn’t mean he’ll walk the same path. In death, two roads open up to a beast god. The road to becoming a Saint Beast, and the road to becoming a Devil. Normally, at least four of the beasts side with God…and normally they are the same four that always have. But history has shown that the ones who have chosen to become a Devil will do everything they can to sway a beast that hasn’t chosen its path. And if ever seven or more beasts become Devils…well…that’ll be the end of God and our Heaven.”

“…so you’re saying…” Sasuke frowned, eyes widening slightly. “Naruto could become a devil…”

“I’m saying Naruto has enemies he has yet to even know about. And they will come after him…and you…” Kakashi sighed.

Sasuke frowned at that. “Why me?”

“Because…you are Naruto’s charge,” Kakashi replied simply.

“Then…then why is Naruto here with me!? Shouldn’t he be in heaven instead? Why put that danger on us both?” Sasuke asked, suddenly feeling like an older child being left to baby-sit his sibling for the first time.

Kakashi shook his head and looked down at his feet. “Actually…he’s safer here with you then he would be in heaven.”

Sasuke grew silent at this small bit of information, letting that sink into his mind. If Heaven wasn’t safe enough for Naruto…was that the strength of the enemy? Why? How could being with him be safer?

“I’m sorry Sasuke. I can’t force you to let Naruto stay. If you truly want him gone, then I will take Naruto with me to Heaven.”

Sasuke bowed his head, fiddling with the couch cushion. “I just don’t see how being with me could be safer.”

Kakashi smiled warmly at that, “You’re stronger then you think, Sasuke. You have more influence towards Naruto then anyone else. He’d do anything for you…He’d likely even die for you.”

Sasuke’s hands tightened and shook a little. The last thing he wanted…was another person to die for him. That was what this was about after all.

“No…I don’t want this responsibility, Kakashi. I stand by my decision.”

Standing up, Sasuke started for the door. He didn’t want to talk about this anymore, especially not to a man with a face he could barely see. He stopped when he opened the door, calming himself and evening out his tone.

“Hatake Kakashi…I’m a selfish, unreliable, cruel bastard who’s only ever cared about himself next to others. Putting an angel like Naruto in my care is like leaving a lion to care for a lamb. I know Heaven can do better for him.”

Kakashi sighed and watched Sasuke walk out after that. Turning his gaze to the candle, he smiled softly behind his mask. “Maybe…but life is full of surprises.”

Shrugging, he relaxed and pulled his book out, leaving the rest to fate.

A while later, Sasuke found himself sitting up on the school roof, his back against the water cooler. The sun was setting, making the sky a brilliant array of reds, yellows, and oranges, but he couldn’t look for to long without Naruto’s smiling face popping into his mind. So he stared at his folded hands, thinking about everything Kakashi had told him.

It was hard to believe that someone so kind and warm like Naruto could become something like a Devil. It was harder to believe that he could somehow keep Naruto safer then Heaven with its full arsenal of angels. When he thought back to the fight at the stadium………Naruto pinned to the wall by Neji, about to have his heart ripped out. Naruto lying on the floor bruised and battered as green flames flew at him with the intent to destroy………

Sasuke shuddered and curled up, resting his head on his knees.

There was no way he could go through with this. It was a mistake for Naruto to have ever come into his life.

“Somehow…I knew you’d be here,” A voice spoke up, suddenly interrupting Sasuke’s thoughts.

Sasuke raised his head and looked at his visitor with a frown, “What are you doing here, Shikamaru?”

Shikamaru shrugged and sat down in the shade near Sasuke, stretching and lying out. “Didn’t know they started reserving the roof now.”

Sasuke frowned, turning his gaze back to the ground.

“Climbing the drain pipe is a lot harder then it seems,” Shikamaru noted and yawned.

“Why bother then?” Sasuke asked, finding such a thing to be very un-Shikamaru.

Shikamaru glanced at him, then shrugged, “It’s tiresome…but Hinata called.”

Sasuke felt the groan escape before he could care to stop it.

“Sounds like you already got a lecture.”

“You could say that,” Sasuke grumbled and made to stand up, stopped by a hand on his sleeve.

Shikamaru frowned up at him and tugged him back down, then let go. He pillowed his head on his arms and stared up at the clouds. “I won’t lecture. So…talk. I don’t think you hate Naruto. If anything, hate is probably the last thing I expect from you towards that kid.”

Sasuke felt tired out by all of this, but Shikamaru was offering to listen…Maybe he’d see it Sasuke’s way. Returning to his previous sitting position, Sasuke watched the clouds with Shikamaru.

“Naruto and I are too different. Besides…I’m tired of pretending like he doesn’t annoy me. He’s useless and intrusive and I’ll be happier when he leaves and goes back to where he came from.”

Shikamaru didn’t say anything, staring at the clouds for a while and allowing Sasuke’s words to settle in the atmosphere. He shifted after a moment, looking at the other who was using his hair to hide his face out of habit. Frowning, Shikamaru decided that the sooner sense was knocked back into Sasuke, the sooner he could take a nap.

“You know…we’ve never really been close. You’ve always been a cold asshole to others in school, and I’ve always found it to much trouble trying to play the peer game and make friends. But that’s why we’ve always hung out. Hinata is quite and prefers not to talk much. I don’t want to put the energy into it. And you’ve never wanted to be close to people. The perfect trio of school outcasts…getting along fine because we all understand that about each other and except it,” Shikamaru sighed softly, watching a small bit of cloud break off from a larger one. “But you know…in all the years we’ve hung out……I never saw you laugh or smile. But last week, here on this very roof, you did just that.”

Sasuke glanced at Shikamaru, before turning his gaze to the side and glaring at a small pebble on the roof.

“You looked…happy…”

Sasuke’s eyelids drooped, his lips turning down in a slight frown.

“Just this weekend…you spent time with Hinata outside of school…You helped teach her to cook. She won the contest, and now she’s happier and her cousin Neji seems like a better person. That’s something I never would have expected from you,” Shikamaru continued, his tone gentle and thoughtful. “You looked pretty worried in the hospital to.”

Sasuke shook his head in denial, “I was just going with the flow. It was all Naruto. He forced me into everything…and I just let him.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, “Bullshit…just admit the truth already.”

Sasuke tensed at that, looking at Shikamaru with wide and confused eyes.

“You’re afraid,” Shikamaru put it bluntly, deciding to just smack Sasuke in the face with the truth rather then skirt around it. He didn’t have the energy to waste and Sasuke always handled things best when put bluntly.

“I’m not afraid,” Sasuke denied it, glaring at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru shook his head with a frown, “You are. You’ve lived alone in the darkness for so long. You’ve grown used to not seeing, not feeling…Then suddenly this candle appears named Naruto. He’s offering warmth and light that you lost memory of long ago. And you’re drawn to him. But your mind is afraid and you’ve realized how close you’ve come to that candle. And you’re drawing away from it. Why? Fear. You’re afraid to soak in his warm embrace and his light, because you’re scared Naruto will leave and take it away with him. And then you’ll be in the darkness again. But it won’t be the same darkness from before…it’ll be a maddening darkness haunted by the memory of the candle and what it had given you.”

Sasuke turned his head and gaze away, gripping his pants tightly at the frighteningly true words. Of course Shikamaru, the school’s number one genius, would be able to see and put things clearly out in the open. The brunette was good at shooting down an opponent’s defense when he had to.

“I don’t want Naruto to die. I don’t know what would happen to him if he’s killed, and I can’t bear to even see it once,” Sasuke finally admitted, giving into the truth. There was no use fighting or lying to Shikamaru anyways. “I’m not…strong enough.”

Shikamaru thoughtfully blew at a stray lock of hair, “You know, I’ve seen people suffer through hurricanes to keep that small candle lit. Because its warmth is that much worth holding onto.”

Sasuke shook his head, “I can’t…”

“If Naruto’s this important to you, Sasuke, then instead of chasing him away, work to become stronger and hold onto him just as tightly,” Shikamaru finished, sighing heavily. He was way too winded to keep this discussion up. “If you don’t, you may lose the greatest thing to ever happen to your life.”

“……” Sasuke wrapped his arms around his knees, burying his face into his lap.

Shikamaru sensed he’d done all he could and shrugged, “Well…whatever. It’s your life, mess it up or fix it as you wish.”

Sasuke quietly got up after another minute and headed off, Shikamaru not stopping him this time.

***reviewer responses***

Everlasting Skies - Lee will definately come in later. He's a necessary part of the plot I've developed. ^^ And yeah, Neji has a sort of psychic side to him. Later you'll see him use charms or stuff like that. In Pita-ten, Poops (who Neji sort of mirrors role wise) studies the lessons of yin and yang, and uses charms/talismons on Shia a lot. XD

CommGonn - I love big brother kinda Gaara. ^^ I'm still working on how Sasuke will react when he learns about Gaara. ^^

Artume - Hiya again! And thank you. ^^

BrokenSouledPoetess (NSI) - Gaara rules!!! ^^

Donedin - Yeah! *glomps Gaara* I'm working on Sasuke's reaction right now. The next chapter I've got to work several things out in. ^^ Hopefully it won't put me in a writer's block state. Oo Nah, I'll figure something out. As for what Gaara is? Not saying yet! ^^

Nemo -Thank you, Nemo. But NaruoChuushin IS the site that I've been getting my manga from. They had problems, and lost everything. Now they are slowly getting it all back and I'm still waiting for the chapters I haven't read cause I don't want to miss anything. Oo

Miko hanyou - Of course! Gaara had to come in sooner or later, and thinking of him as the Shia-chan equivalent character...well...it just works in my head. ^^

kawaiicrimsonkitsune - Sorry...but I NEVER change pairings once I've stated what they are. It's my pet peeve. And I'm not a Gaara/Naruto fan. >_> I like them as close friends and brothers, but I never could get into the couple itself. Expect Gaara/Lee instead. ^^ Sorry.

Rasengan22 - Actually, Shikamaru and Kakashi stepped in to slap sense into Sasuke. ^^ Gaara biting Naruto...hmmmm...XD I have to put that in here somewhere. Probably not during their first meeting though. I've working that out right now. Now go write! XD You making me feel bad for updating. ^^'

bloodyrose - *hugs you and gives you a Kakashi angel plushie* Thank you. You're like...the only one who has begged me NOT to make this Gaara/Naruto. No...this will be Gaara/Lee. ^^ As for the smut...well...I'm not sure what will happen. Maybe I'll have Naruto or Sasuke walk in on Kakashi and Iruka. *snickers evilly* But Kakashi hasn't even met Iruka. But trust me...it'll be great once Kakashi starts working at the school and all. XD So funny in my head already.

Yuri-san - Done spazzing? Need some water? O.o *giggles* ^^ And yes, only Naruto would think to ask Gaara to let him make a sand castle with his sand. I'm still waiting for him to ask in the anime. XD

Red Stone - Sasuke's reaction to Gaara. I get that question lots at the moment. I myself am asking the same question. XD

DL - *sweatdrop* o.0'

lauryl - What Gaara is will remain a mystery until Kakashi sheds the light. ^^ And Naruto's attachment to Sasuke...I won't clearly reveal it just yet. I have four chapters planned, one each telling the tragic childhood/life of my four basic lead characters...Sasuke, Naruto, Gaara, and Lee. They'll be called The Tragic Spring, The Tragic Winter, The Tragic Autumn, and The Tragic Summer accordingly. When you see those, you'll know to be ready for a sad look at each of their pasts. ^^

Yura(Anna) - hiya! ^^ Trying to hide from me by changing your name, eh? XD Nah, kidding. *glomps Gaara to* ^^ Yesh! Gaara! ^^

Kuu-ish - Don't worry. It'll all be ok soon. ^^