Perception

Warnings: Rated M for violence, language and sexual situations/adult themes. Naruto and its characters are owned by Kishimoto.


This fic has officially passed 100k words! I never imagined this little plot bunny would get so big! Or that so many people would enjoy and respond like they have. So thank you all again for your wonderful comments and encouragement.

Also, I want to point out that even though Sakura knows Itachi’s true reason for what he did was out of a deranged sense of love, she still knows that he’s done a hell of a lot of bad things since then and he isn’t some good guy at heart. She knows he’s bad and dangerous and insane and that she can’t change him. All that’s changed is that she knows why he is that way, and she’s accepted that he’s not an evil monster, just a screwed up human being whose life went terribly wrong. She doesn’t excuse or forgive him; she just understands and therefore can’t hate him anymore.

Just wanted to point that out in case it looks like she’s going to try and redeem him and save his soul, because she knows she can’t.

So anyway…enjoy this chapter!

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Perception by Cynchick
Chapter 11: Nobody Loves No One

Sakura shifted her position on the large rock formation and crouched down atop one of the massive boulders. She held her balance easily with a small bit of chakra and pulled her thin cloak tighter around her chilled body. Kisame and Deidara stood on either side of her looking off in different directions. The blonde was scanning the surrounding area with his scope, as their group was currently trying to decide where to go from here.


They had left the cave and the forest early in the morning, and had traveled the entire day before anyone felt comfortable stopping. Sakura watched the sun setting below the horizon and shivered with the icy gust of wind that blew past and whipped her tangled hair across her face. They were several miles across the border now in a country Sakura didn’t know the name of, or if it even had one. All she knew was that it was a country that didn’t use shinobi and had no Hidden Village. It was also a damned cold one. She hadn’t bee this far north since the one time Team Seven had gone on a mission to Snow country, and that time she’d been properly prepared. It was still early autumn, and though the weather hadn’t turned yet, the air was cold and the winds of the rocky bare countryside were even colder.


She thought about climbing back down to the base of the rock so the massive stone could shield her from the cold gusts, but stubbornly decided against it. If the others were fine, then so was she. Besides, the view from up here was beautiful in the dying daylight. She saw Tobi several feet below scrambling across the jutting rocks that littered the earth in all directions, and he looked up at them and hollered something that was half-carried away by the wind. Kisame grunted and began to hop down the rock face to go see what he wanted.


From her crouched position, Sakura turned her head to the side and looked at Deidara, who was still scanning the wide, rocky moor. He didn’t look at her, but he’d noticed her watching him, among other things. “Cold?” he asked casually.


“A little.”


He smiled a little at her obvious white lie, still not looking at her. “You know, winter comes early in this part of the world, and the farther north we go the colder it’s gonna get, yeah. That cloak of yours isn’t made for a climate like this. You should get a new one.”


Sakura frowned a little and stood up next to him in defiance of the cold. “I’ll live,” she muttered.


The blonde smirked again at her stubbornness. “Maybe,” he taunted lightly. “You’re the medic, so I guess you’d know more about those things than I do.”


She made a noncommittal sound and watched Kisame and Tobi talking among the rocks below. Where Itachi was at the moment she didn’t know, and she brushed the thought of him aside grumpily. “We’re going to find somewhere to stop soon, right?”


“I hope so,” the blonde said irritably, as unhappy as Sakura about the current situation even if he was somewhat warmer than the kunoichi. He glanced at her and saw her shiver again, pulling her arms tighter to her small frame. “If you’re that damn cold…you can wear mine. At least until we get out of the open, anyway.”


Sakura snapped her head back to him in surprise. He was offering her his cloak? That was…she didn’t know what to think or say about that. He’d said it gruffly, as if she was simply annoying him with her constant shivering and he just wanted her to knock it off. But she was becoming used to his ways, and she knew better. She smiled softly at him, and he looked away at the horizon uncomfortably. It was very tempting, but she knew she couldn’t do it. It was an Akatsuki cloak. It was stained in blood and evil deeds and she wouldn’t feel right wearing it. “Thank you, but I can’t do that. Anyway, I’ll be fine once we start moving again.”


He nodded a little and looked at her with a smirk. He didn’t think she would accept. “Why are you so stubborn all the time, hmm?” he teased.


She raised an eyebrow at him. “Why are you?”


“Hn.” He pursed his lips with wry amusement and returned to scanning the distance.


Sakura watched his profile quietly. The occasional faint sounds of his scope zooming in and out could be heard over the rushing wind. His long blonde hair had been pulled free from his cloak by the wind and was flowing out over his back and shoulders, his long bangs swept away from his eye for once to reveal his face. There was just one problem…


She carefully reached out to touch him on the cheek and he started, tilting his head in her direction as his body jerked in surprise. “What are you-?” he asked sharply, his one visible blue eye going wide.


Sakura smiled and kept her hand where it was, index finger tracing the metal edge of the scope lightly. “I’ve never seen your entire face,” she explained simply. “Can you take this off for a moment?”


His brow twitched slightly as he gave her a strange look. A moment later, his expression softened and he reached up to carefully remove the scope and lower it, revealing his face to the woman beside him.


Sakura’s smile widened to a grin as she got her first look at the real face of Deidara. She wasn’t sure what to expect under that scope and curtain of hair; maybe a scar or deformation, a missing eye, something that would require covering at least. But there was nothing of the sort, and she had to say she was pleased by how completely normal he looked, and how handsome. His almond-shaped eye was the same pale blue color as the other one, though slightly bloodshot from using the scope. With his whole face revealed she could really see how young he was; he couldn’t be more than two or three years older than herself.


He was a little embarrassed by how openly she was beaming at him and the way her huge seafoam eyes sparkled as they scanned over his revealed face, and he blushed a little, which made her smile even bigger. He couldn’t help but return her smile then, and Sakura felt a tiny little flutter inside at the very handsome change in him when he smiled a real smile. He had that same look to him as Naruto, though not quite as sunny and warm. Thinking of Naruto made her miss him, but she was happy in this moment as well.


As they stood together and watched the sun settle into the horizon, Sakura was aware of everything in amazing detail; Deidara’s handsome and peaceful face, his long pale blonde hair blowing in the cold wind and catching the last rays of sunlight, the deep orange glow of the dying day and the beautiful view of the endless, rock strewn moor; all of it would be forever fixed in her mind. This little unplanned moment that stood outside time would stay with her, as if she’d taken a picture, for the rest of her life. She had a feeling it would for him as well. And in this moment, they were happy.


A few minutes later the glow faded and dusk set in. Another cold gust of wind made Sakura shiver and she hoped they left soon because she had a feeling that now that the sun was down it was about to get very cold. She noticed Kisame waving an arm at them to come down, his lips were moving too but she couldn’t make out anything he said from up here. They climbed quickly down the steep slope of the massive boulder and joined Kisame and Tobi at the bottom.


A moment later Itachi appeared from wherever he had been, as if he was clued in to when they were all coming to regroup. Sakura’s peaceful mood dropped a little at the sight of him. He hadn’t said a word to her and had barely glanced in her direction all day. She knew he was disturbed by everything that had happened last night; the mind-blowing kiss that might have turned to more if they weren’t interrupted, the poisoning and the fact that such a silly and ignoble thing had almost put an end to him, and most importantly his incredible revelation given unintentionally in his feverish state. She was freaked out too, but this complete shut-out was unnecessary.


How much did he remember anyway? He certainly remembered waking up with half of her body draped over his chest, that’s for sure. That moment had been a little tense and uncomfortable for all of them after they were woken up by Deidara and Kisame, who must have questions they couldn’t ask about just what the hell had happened in that cave. And Itachi acting the way he was not helping prevent the others from being even more suspicious of what had gone on between them last night.


She glanced at the Uchiha, though as expected he ignored her completely. He was still slightly pale, the shadows beneath his eyes were even darker than usual, and he was probably a little dehydrated from burning out a fever and then running all day, but other than that he seemed fine. Except for the attitude of course.


“Well?” Deidara asked once the five of them were all clustered together.


“Tobi found a town about five miles northwest of here,” Tobi informed, speaking in third person as he did on occasion, usually when he was trying to earn praise or get out of trouble.


So that’s why he’s so dirty, Sakura mused. They always used Tobi as a scout since he could travel rapidly underground like his former master, Zetsu.


“Apparently it’s the only town around for miles,” Kisame interjected.


Deidara nodded. “Yeah, this country is pretty sparsely populated and most of it is wilderness, which I’m sure is why it was chosen, right Itachi?” he asked pointedly, looking at the dark haired man, who didn’t reply.


“Well if we’re gonna be out in the wilderness after this until we get to the final place, we may as well stop in the town for a couple days. We need to restock our supplies anyway,” Kisame reasoned with a shrug.


“Not to mention it’s fucking freezing out here, and the temperature’s dropping fast, yeah,” Deidara grumbled as a strong gust of wind blew over them. He glanced briefly at the kunoichi, who was holding her cloak too tightly to her chest to even move her tangled, windblown hair out of her face. “Let’s get going, hmm?”


Kisame and Tobi nodded, Itachi remained impassive, and Sakura gave the blonde a silent look of thanks as they readjusted their packs and pulled their cloaks tighter before heading out across the moor.

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The four Akatsuki and their unrestrained hostage arrived in the small city just after nightfall. Sakura was surprised and pleased to find that this town was the complete opposite of the last one they’d been in. It was clean, quiet, showed no signs of any significant crime and was one hundred percent civilian. She doubted anyone here had even heard of Akatsuki, and if they had, they wouldn’t recognize their individual appearances or be familiar with the red clouds on black cloaks. If by some chance there happened to be one abnormally well-informed citizen they would probably not think to inform the local police, if they even cared about such things as wanted men from other countries, until they were already gone so as not to disturb the peace of their village. In other words, it was safe to stay here for a few days at least.


The thought was comforting to Sakura because it meant that her pursuing teammates, for though she had no real way of knowing she still knew they were coming for her, would have more time to find their scattered trail and catch up again. She would try stalling tactics herself, if she could think of any or if she thought that anyone would buy into it for an instant.


Because of the lack of any militaristic or shinobi presence in this town and the country in general, people like them tended to stick out like sore thumbs amid the utter and complete normalcy of things, and they had to be careful of how blatantly they made their presence known. Amazingly enough Sakura seemed to stand out the most and was earning the most looks from passing citizens and vendors. Aside from her hair color, which always got attention, the fact that she was not wearing typical women’s clothing, was carrying weapons, and was in excellent physical condition made her quite a curiosity to the simple townsfolk who had obviously never seen a kunoichi before. Not to mention she was the only female in a group of dangerous-looking, heavily armed men that had a tendency to glare at and intimidate anyone who looked their way.


This town was old fashioned and much of the architecture and conveniences were still those used from a time before Sakura was born. She imagined this place as what things looked like when her shishou was a child. There were even paper lanterns lining the streets, not as ambient decorations, but as a real light source. It was actually rather charming, and might be a nice place to live, if she didn’t think she would be bored out of her skull after six months here. But, at least they didn’t have to sleep in a hovel this time since the Akatsuki weren’t wanted men here and there probably wasn’t a hovel to stay in anyway from the look of things.


They found a suitable hotel without much effort. It was old-fashioned like almost everything else here, and was large and clean and spacious. The interior smelled faintly of fresh pine, and when a little old woman in kimono came shuffling out of the back room behind the registration desk and bowed formally in greeting, Sakura smiled; this would definitely be better than last time.


“Good evening sirs,” The elderly woman greeted kindly, and when she saw Sakura her smile widened. “And lady,” she added. “Welcome to Kanna. I am Kaede, the matron of this hotel.” She bowed again slightly. It wasn’t clear if Kanna was the name of the hotel or the town itself. “I see you are not from around here, and it appears you have had difficult travel. Will you be requiring rooms?” the old woman asked. Sakura could see she was taking in their rough appearance, but had too much etiquette and professionalism to show her thoughts outwardly.


“We will,” Itachi answered, much more politely than he had talked to the shady, and now dead, innkeeper in the previous town.


The matron smiled again. “How many rooms will you require, sir?” she asked, her glance at the pink haired woman not going unnoticed. Apparently this town was old fashioned in more ways than one.


“We will need three rooms, next to each other, with doors connecting the outer two to the middle. Are you able to accommodate us in that way?” he asked smoothly.


The old woman appeared to think for a moment before nodding enthusiastically. “Yes, I can provide just such an arrangement.” She went about making preparations behind the desk eagerly. Of course he knew a hotel of this style would have a room setup like that, that was why he picked it. Clever bastard. Sakura assumed she would be put in the middle room with two Akatsuki on either side connected by doors. Well, at least she’d be getting her own room this time. The matron returned a moment later with the room keys and some paperwork. “May I ask a name for the records, sir?”


Itachi gave the old woman a small smile, and Sakura swore she saw a pink blush appear on her wrinkled cheeks. “The truth is, madam, this is a matter of great discretion. You see, the beautiful lady here is the daughter of a great nobleman, who is our employer, and he has charged us with her protection,” he said smoothly. The old woman’s eyes went wide and she looked at Sakura, who caught on quickly and tried her best to look ‘noble’ through her tangled hair and dirty, torn clothes. Itachi continued in his velvety voice, instantly grabbing the matron’s attention again. “We are traveling in secret so that our lord’s enemies will not attempt to use his daughter against him. The lady is very important to us, and we must not allow her to come to any harm. I’m sure you can understand, madam, and we will of course compensate you well for your discretion during our stay.”


Itachi was the perfect person for dealing with a situation like this, with his ingrained etiquette and soft way of speaking, a fact that was illustrated perfectly when the little old woman nodded and smiled from ear to ear. “Of course, of course! I understand perfectly,” she said, excited to be part of such a big affair. Just as before, the hotel’s logbook disappeared unsigned below the counter. The matron turned to Sakura and bowed. “I apologize for keeping you, my lady, I’m sure you must be tired from your journey.” Sakura smiled and tried to look dignified and magnanimous. The matron looked at the darkly handsome man again. “I will have the rooms prepared immediately sir. Would you like meals to be brought up once you have settled?”


“Please,” Itachi answered with a dark smirk. And the little woman shuffled off to get their rooms ready.


It was ridiculous the way he so masterfully twisted his little story with bits and pieces of the truth, and Sakura almost laughed. As sinister and dangerous as he was, he could still charm the pants off of anyone. The other Akatsuki appeared impressed with his brilliant improvisation as well and a few murmurs went around about how this would be a nice break for a change. On top of getting out of having to put any names in the logbook, they would now be given the absolute privacy and discretion accorded to ‘nobility’ for the remainder of their stay.


It was a masterful manipulation, but the one thing that had latched onto her mind about the performance was the fact that he had called her beautiful, when it wasn’t necessary to make such a statement. It made her insides flutter a little, and she mentally chided herself for thinking like a silly teenager. He still wouldn’t look at or talk to her, so it was best not to put too much thought into offhanded comments. Though, Itachi never made offhanded comments…She shook herself mentally and was relieved when the matron appeared and bowed again, lower now that she thought she was in the presence of aristocracy. She informed them that their quarters were ready, and gestured for them to follow.

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“Hey, do you think this place look good?” Sakura asked, looking appraisingly at the front of the small shop.


“I don’t know. Looks good enough to me, yeah,” Deidara replied with an indifferent shrug.


Sakura shrugged as well, and the two ninja entered the little shop, a small tinkling sound chiming as the door struck the bell placed above it. An elderly shopkeeper came out from behind a curtain in the back and bowed politely to them, telling them to ask if they needed assistance. Deidara brushed him off with barely a glance, but Sakura had a bit more manners and thanked him softly with a small smile as she followed after her blonde companion to the back of the store.


Because of the sort of town they were staying in, the kind that didn’t get many travelers and everyone was completely normal and boring, they had to keep somewhat of a low profile to avoid suspicion. All of them had unique and remarkable appearances, but certain members of their little group were a bit too unique to parade around town. Tobi wore a strange mask covering his entire face and Kisame was, well…blue. Itachi looked fairly normal not counting his speckled, scarlet eyes, but he had a dark aura about him that tended to put people on edge. So that left Deidara, who could, when he wanted to, appear to be just another regular, handsome young man on the street. Because of this, the blonde had been designated as the one to take care of their supply needs this morning while the rest of them lurked around the hotel and did, well…whatever they did during the day, and Sakura had managed to finagle her way into tagging along with the explosives master so she could get some new clothes.


She had nothing else to change into anymore, and her pants now had a large slash in the thigh. She wondered sourly why none of the Akatsuki around her seemed to wear out their clothes as fast as she did. Of course the men had spares, but their pack weren’t that big. Maybe those cloaks hid more than she realized.


It certainly did in Deidara’s case, and she just couldn’t get over the sight of him without it. He had left it behind at the hotel as a precaution, and was wearing only a long sleeved, mesh lined black shirt and black pants with those Akatsuki-trademark stirrups. He’d also had to leave his scope and clay pouches behind, which he was not happy about. But Kisame had cleverly pointed out that surely there was nothing in this town he couldn’t take care of with a few kunai…so the blonde couldn’t find an argument that didn’t make his ordinary ninja skills seem less than competent and in the end the pouches were left behind. Just as she’d noticed with Itachi, those bulky cloaks hid all sorts of stuff about the wearer. Deidara was a bit taller than Itachi, and although still lean was not as wiry. He was well built but not overly defined, and she figured that was due to being a long range fighter. His close combat skills were still impressive, but he didn’t use them unless necessary so he lacked the chiseled definition of a shinobi specializing in more martial tactics. It actually reminded her a lot of Sai, who was also primarily a long range fighter; they were almost the exact same height, size and build. She vaguely wondered what he would look like in a belly-shirt like the ones Sai used to wear, and the mental image made her giggle.


Deidara looked back over his shoulder at her with a questioning look. “What?”


Sakura tried to straighten her face. “Oh…nothing,” she evaded, and the blonde just gave her another strange look before turning his head back around.


They went about their task of gathering supplies for the time they would be traveling though unpopulated wilderness and talked casually about random things. In reality Sakura was a captive, and Deidara was her watchful guard, but from the outside it looked like two friends out shopping. That was what was so strange and disconcerting for Sakura. She had come to realize that she liked spending time with Deidara, and more unnerving still, that she liked Deidara himself. As a person. The fact that she now regarded him as a person at all was unsettling, and the fact that she liked him even more so. He was a criminal with twisted moral judgment, he was also sort of a lunatic when you provoked him far enough. But she liked him anyway. She also sort of liked Kisame, and Tobi, and even…well, she didn’t want to think about that at the moment.


She didn’t want to like any of them, didn’t want to humanize and feel friendship for her captors. It was just happening. And if her intuition was correct, they were beginning to like her as well, in their own individual ways. The truth was it was no longer possible for her to regard any of them as monsters or demons like their reputations cast them as. They had shown themselves to be very human; they all had feelings, some more than others, and they all had things about them that were likeable as well as unlikable. They had troubled pasts and complications that had led them down the road to where they were now as members of Akatsuki, and it was not all about greed and ambition or just plain being evil. None of them were one-dimensional and it had been wrong of her to assume so, just as they had wrongly assumed about her.


This was so screwed up. They would hurt her loved ones; they would kill them if they got the chance. They would hurt and maybe even kill her too if it came down to it, and she would also do what was necessary to protect her precious people. So why was this happening? Why was she developing this strange camaraderie with her supposed enemies? Even the fact that she’d made out with Itachi in a tree the night before last wasn’t as frightening as her amicable relationships with the other Akatsuki, because in that situation she could at least chalk it up to lust. After all Itachi was incredibly sexy and he’d been teasing her for days. But this? This harmonious existence among her captors where they shared meals and conversations and personal stories, where they barely kept watch over her anymore and she never thought of trying to run? What did this all mean, really? This situation was more complicated than she could have possibly expected, and it was getting more so with every passing day. What was going to happen in the end?


She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard her name and realized that Deidara had been saying something to her. She blinked and snapped back to herself and found that they were standing near the exit and were about to leave. Apparently she’d been so caught up in her thoughts that for the last few minutes she’d been following Deidara around blindly and he was finished making his purchase. “Oh…huh?” she asked the blonde, who was staring at her impatiently.


He narrowed his eyes a little. “I said…didn’t you say you needed clothes?”


Sakura smiled sheepishly. Bad move, she thought, this guy hates to be ignored or brushed off. “Oh, yeah. Sorry…I was just distracted thinking about something.”


“Well let’s go, then. I saw a clothes store a little ways down the street. I don’t know about you but I’m getting hungry and I want to get back to the hotel for lunch,” he said casually, and the two of them walked out into the street, the bell above the door tinkling as they left.


They walked a ways past vendor stalls and shop fronts before he spoke again. “Must’ve been some pretty heavy thoughts to make you tune out like that, yeah,” he smirked.


She smiled ironically. “You have no idea.”


The blonde made a ‘whatever’ sort of gesture. “Well, try not to get so distracted next time. I won’t try and catch you if you trip on something. I’ll let you fall on your face, and then I’ll laugh, yeah,” he said teasingly.


Sakura rolled her eyes. “Such a sweetheart,” she said with a laugh.


Deidara gave her a boyish, lopsided grin that she found completely adorable, despite the fact that he was currently in jerk mode. “You know it,” he said with smug sarcasm.


She smiled again and even went so far as to swat him none too lightly in the arm, making him laugh.


They went about the rest of their shopping companionably and made their way back to the hotel, where the others were sure to have lunch ordered to the rooms. Sakura had managed to find a few passable items of clothing, all men’s of course since in this place women tended to wear dresses and not skin tight flexible ninja apparel. Deidara had teased her, saying if she wanted to wear men’s clothing she could have just asked to borrow some from one of them. She jokingly replied that Tobi and Kisame were too tall and wide, and her ass was too big to fit into Itachi’s pants so that only left him. He jokingly told her that no, she couldn’t borrow his pants because they were his and he needed them. A moment later he offhandedly added that her ass looked just fine. She blushed and went back to picking out clothes with a smile.


At least she had something warmer to wear now, as she had gotten a sweater as well as long-sleeved shirts and pants. All black of course. Deidara had asked why always black, and she replied that it looked good on her and that her hair was bright and girly enough, then looked him over pointedly and asked what his excuse was. He smirked and dropped the subject of her taste in fashion after that. However, she had fumed indignantly upon finding that she couldn’t get a heavier cloak because no one in this town sold traveling cloaks since hardly anyone traveled. All they sold were bulky winter coats that were completely useless for a ninja. So she had emitted a string of curses, completely forgetting she was supposed to be a noblewoman, and settled on a long, emerald green scarf to wrap around herself and at least keep her head warm. Her teased her again, asking why not black, and she retorted that it went well with her eyes and then stuck her tongue out at him before paying the sales clerk.

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They returned to the hotel and had lunch with the others in Kisame and Itachi’s room. Just like the night before at dinner, the food was much better than the greasy takeout they had been eating up until this point, and just like last night, Itachi wasn’t there to eat with them. Apparently, the older Uchiha could get as moody and broody as his younger brother when he wanted to, and had been spending most of the time off alone somewhere; to the point where Kisame didn’t even know where he was most of the time.


Sakura was pretty damn sure she knew what all the brooding was about, and as soon as she saw him again she was going to find a way to give him a good piece of her mind for acting like a sullen teenager. Not that she thought he would care or listen to her, but she was determined to put a stop to his pretending she wasn’t there.


She spent the rest of the afternoon lounging around between three rooms, doing pretty much nothing, talking idly with her various captors as they came and went from doing whatever sort of shady and illegal business they did from day to day.


Itachi finally made an appearance shortly after dinner, which he had also been absent for. She looked up at him from the card game she and Kisame had been playing, for fun only since he refused to bet with her after the drinking incident, but the Uchiha completely ignored her presence again. She frowned at his back and returned to the card game.


Several minutes later, Sakura lost. Kisame grinned smugly and stretched his arms above his head. “Well, there you go, princess. Maybe we should have bet something after all,” He chuckled. Sakura stared at him blankly, tempted to point out that it was only dumb luck since he would only play games of chance and not games of logic because he knew she was smarter than him. And why was he still calling her princess anyway? Still flashing a pointy-toothed grin, Kisame slid his chair back and stood up. “Good game. Well, I’ll be back later on,” he said casually to no one in particular and left the room, sliding the shoji panel shut behind him.


Sakura reshuffled the cards and returned them to their case before looking up at the rooms remaining occupant. He had taken his cloak off and placed it over a chair, and was reading a scroll that apparently contained very little of interest from his bored stance and expression. Now that they were actually alone, she didn’t know exactly how to bring up the subject of the tension between them. But, this was his room and he wasn’t going to leave it on her account, and she may not get another chance like this so she needed to take it.


“Itachi.” He didn’t look at her, but she could tell from the slight angle of his head that he was listening. “Why are you avoiding me?” she asked very cautiously so as not to put him on edge.


He looked at her then, and their eyes met for the first time in two days, the intensity of that hypnotic crimson gaze sending a jolt right through her. He smirked slightly. “What a foolish idea. What makes you think I’m avoiding you, Sakura?”


She gave him a shrewd look, for the first time not buying his detachment. “You have been avoiding me, ever since that night in the woods. Don’t talk to me as if I were stupid. You’ve done nothing but watch me and play games with me for days, and now you won’t even look my direction. That’s proof enough,” she said calmly.


His expression darkened just a little, proof that her words had affected him. “Perhaps I simply no longer find you interesting.”


Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and raised her chin stiffly at his obvious lie. Oh, his tone was convincing enough, but she had felt very acutely how un-true that statement really was the other night. In fact, she could still feel it now, pulsing in the air between them. “You find me a little too interesting, is more like it,” she countered. His eyes narrowed at her accurate observation, but he didn’t deny it.


They stared at each other across the room for a long moment, and Sakura uncrossed and re-crossed her legs before continuing. “Are you unsettled because you kissed me?” she asked quietly. Itachi’s face was conspicuously blank. “I kissed you back, remember? I have as much reason to be freaked out as you are, but I’m not hiding from what happened.” She saw his jaw clench slightly, and knew she was getting somewhere. Why she was trying to get a reaction from him when the last attempt had nearly resulted in her death she didn’t know, but she felt like things were a bit different now all around. Getting any sort of reaction from him was fascinating to her and was becoming a bit addictive. “Or is it because you almost died from something insignificant and beneath your status and I was the one to save your life? Because you were vulnerable and weak in front of another person? Or…is it because I know the truth about why you killed your clan and what you want from Sasuke?” His eyes narrowed menacingly at her. Bingo.


She sighed tiredly. “I’m not going to tell anyone your dirty little secret, Itachi. Stop avoiding me so I can finish healing your eyes.”


He looked away to the corner of the room, appearing to think on her words. “Not even my brother?” he asked, still not looking at her.


“Do you want me to tell him?”


He was quiet a long moment as he thought about it. “No,” he admitted softly.


Sakura understood. If Sasuke knew the truth, if he understood like she had, he may not be able to hate his brother enough to kill him. “I understand. Then…I’ll tell him after your dead,” she said evenly. She didn’t think she’d get a chance to talk to Sasuke before the fight between them that would leave only one alive anyway.


He met her eyes again and gave her a small, accepting nod, for the first time not making a comment about how that would never happen. After a long, quiet moment, he spoke again quietly. “Would you like to finish working on my eyes now?”


She nodded and stood up from her chair. Itachi moved to sit down on the bed nearest him, and Sakura walked over and sat down next to him. Instead of asking him to lay down again, she simply tucked a leg underneath her and shifted her body at an angle toward his. He shifted to an angle as well, and without thinking about it she reached up and removed his scratched out hitai-ate and set it on the bed. He smirked a little at her boldness, and when she met his eyes again they were dark. She slowly placed her fingertips at his temples, brushing the stray strands of dark hair aside, and began to heal.


They didn’t speak as she worked, and though it only took about half an hour to finish, she felt the lingering tension between them shift and fluctuate with every passing minute. It was like a magnetic pull, but it was so strange and forbidden that it made you want to fight against it at the same time.


When the healing was complete, she removed her hands from his temples and smiled satisfactorily as he watched her face closely again, taking in every detail. He activated the Sharingan and scanned the details of the room. “Just remember that the more you use it, the Mangekyou especially, the faster it will deteriorate again.” He looked at her when she spoke and after a moment his eyes slowly swirled into that beautiful ebony. She smiled at the fascinating way they changed. “Besides,” she said softly, “they’re much prettier this way.” And without thinking, lost in those mesmerizing orbs, she reached up and gently brushed his dark hair away from his eyes with her fingertips.


Itachi watched her with an unreadable expression, but after a moment his dark eyes hardened. “I am not my brother,” he said darkly.


What? Is that what he thinks? That her attraction to him was because he looks like Sasuke and she preferred his eyes dark to better suit that illusion? That she was projecting her feelings onto him because she couldn’t have the other brother? She lowered her hand to her lap in surprise. That couldn’t be further from the truth, something she had realized some time ago. She had never felt such a strong pull toward Sasuke, had never really felt any pull at all aside from her own fanciful ideas. She couldn’t believe he thought that, or that he would even care if it was the case.


She shook her head imperceptibly and gave him a small, ironic smile. “No, you are not. And I have never once thought that. I had a misplaced crush on him when we were younger, but I realized a long time ago that it was never real. I never felt this…” she trailed off, afraid to finish her thought.


She had some dangerously close to saying something she was still afraid to admit to herself. Sakura nervously held her breath as Itachi’s intense dark eyes stared into hers for a long, tension filled moment, weighing both the said and unsaid. Then, in one smooth movement, he grabbed the back of her head and pressed his lips to hers in a searing kiss. She was surprised by such an abrupt and emotional action from him, and she was pleased to know that her words had had some effect. At the same time, a tiny little voice in the back of her head cried weakly that this was wrong, again, that this was her enemy’s kiss she was indulging in. The voice drifted away like the wind as she abandoned all thought and responded immediately when his soft lips parted just slightly and rubbed over hers in passionate exploration, sighing breathlessly into his mouth as his fingers threaded into her hair.


She leaned closer and brought her hands up to cup the sides of his smooth face, returning his kiss hungrily. This, this she had missed, had craved, ever since they had been interrupted the other night. This kiss was harder than the first, full of fire and possession as he tilted her head and slanted his mouth more fully against hers, lips demanding, as if taking her very essence with his mouth. She had wanted her whole life for someone to kiss her like this, with so much passion, almost desperate, as if letting go would spiral him back into darkness. As if he would never kiss another again, never feel like this again. It frightened her, his intensity, yet she was moved deeply that it was her he was reaching for and she responded in kind, her lips locking firmly with his, and it was her tongue that moved along his lower lip, begging entry.


When their tongues met, a wave of pleasure jolted through her so intense it made her eyes roll back in her head, and she mewled softly in the back of her throat, her reaction making him intensify the kiss even further as his tongue slid along hers expertly. His other arm grabbed her around the waist and pulled her closer until she was nearly in his lap, her thigh half on top of his. He slid his fingers through her hair, removing her hitai-ate and tossing it aside as his other hand slid up her back until he grasped her hair in both hands. He certainly liked to do that, and she moaned softly into his mouth at the sensation and caught his lower lip between her teeth, sucking gently.


He made a low, primitive growl deep in his throat and pulled her flush against him, kissing her deeply and lowering himself backwards until he was lying on the bed with her upper body pressed atop his as they continued to explore each others mouths with a mind-numbing passion. His hands moved from her hair to her waist again, palms and fingers pressing firmly as he caressed up and down her sides and back. Once again, she was lost in his kiss, in the feel of his lips and hands on her body. Everything else faded away as all five of her senses were completely dominated by him. Never had she felt such intense desire as she did with him, and she pressed her body against his as close as it would go. She was just forming the thought of moving her leg over his and straddling him when his hands slid lower and firmly cupped her rear before he threw his leg atop hers and rolled them over until she was beneath him.


He pressed her body into the mattress, settling against her and pushing one of his thighs between hers, causing her to sigh and squirm under him. He supported himself on one elbow as his fingers threaded once again into her short hair, the other arm sliding slowly over her waist and hip. She gripped her fingers into the soft hair at the base of his ponytail firmly, meeting his lips kiss for kiss with equal passion. His fingers in her hair tightened and pulled, tilting her head back to give him access to her throat as he began to trail hot, open mouthed kisses down her neck. His other hand slid down her side and under the hem of her shirt, sword-calloused fingers teasing lightly over her navel and making her insides flutter. His teeth nipped lightly over her collarbone and his hand began to trail soft patterns over her bare stomach, fingers moving slowly upward until they were teasing just below the edge of her bra.


When his hand cupped over her breast she sighed softly in pleasure, and she felt his lips curl into a smirk against the hollow of her neck. He slowly kissed and suckled his way back up her exposed throat until his mouth hovered just above hers, his lust clouded eyes watching her swollen lips intently as he slowly and firmly rubbed the calloused pad of his thumb over her nipple through the thin fabric. She sighed raggedly and threw her head back, hips rising into his, instinctively tying to continue the erotic feeling. He smirked sexily at her reaction before pushing his hips hard against hers and capturing her mouth again to muffle the resulting moan of pleasure she made. His tongue slid deeper into her mouth and at the same time he rubbed his thumb again over her hardened peak and ground into her roughly. She cried out sharply and bucked upward, fingers digging into his shoulders as she lifted her thighs over his hips, their mouths muffling each other’s groans at the first full contact of their groins. One hand grabbed the back of her thigh and lifted it higher as the fingers of the other began to slip under her bra, when they both heard the sound of the shoji panel sliding open.


Sakura felt Itachi’s entire body tense, and she closed her eyes tightly, desperately hoping it was just the cleaning lady but knowing full well that they weren’t that lucky. She felt a curious mixture of alarmed embarrassment at being caught by someone, and irritated frustration at having to stop. She knew Itachi must have been as caught up in their passion as she was to not have noticed an outside presence either. He slowly and carefully moved off of her, and he had enough presence of thought to smoothly and discreetly pull her shirt back down over her stomach as he removed his hand, which she would be eternally grateful for. He stood up casually without looking at her, and Sakura rolled to a sitting position as she gathered the courage to open her eyes and face the intruder.


Kisame was staring with his mouth open, his expression a mixture of surprise, awe and something else not entirely pleasant. Thankfully he wasn’t looking at Sakura; his silver eyes were fixed entirely on Itachi. The partners stared each other down for an agonizingly long moment, neither moving nor saying a word. Finally, Itachi grabbed his cloak from the back of the chair and threw it on in one swift motion, fixing one last cold glare on the shark nin and striding out of the room, Kisame shifting aside to let him pass.


Those silver eyes fixed on her now, and she willed the flush from her face, smoothed her tousled hair, and met his stare with as much poise and boldness as she could muster. She didn’t ask him why he’d walked in or what he wanted; it was his room too and he had no reason to expect to find something like that going on. He watched her curiously, as if wondering, for a long time.


When he finally spoke, his tone was guarded and deliberately casual. “We’re leaving here tomorrow, and we won’t be near any towns again, so we’re all heading downstairs to have a few drinks and relax. You wanna go?”


Sakura breathed a weary sigh and nodded, standing up and straightening her clothes. “Yeah. I’ll be out in a second,” she said quietly, heading for her own room through the adjoining shoji panel, Kisame’s eyes following her curiously as she went. She closed her eyes tight against the nerves racing through her insides. Oh yeah, she definitely needed a strong drink.

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Kisame sat slumped his chair, fumbling with his deck of cards and making a sloppy, mostly-drunken attempt to shuffle them as he waited for his blonde comrade to return. He glanced over at Tobi, who had fallen out on the bed the moment they had come back to the room and was now passed out and snoring. Lightweight.


What was taking Deidara so damn long? How long did it take to drop one tiny, passed out kunoichi on her bed and come back? The four of them had all gone downstairs together to the adjoining tavern of the hotel and had a good time relaxing and drinking and telling jokes. But something had been off about Sakura. She’d been overly-animated and eager to participate in their conversation as if she was distracting herself or trying to put on an act, but then she’d get unusually quiet and withdrawn during moments where no one was speaking. And she drank. A lot. And this time she didn’t handled it well for some reason and became very, very drunk to the point where she’d fallen asleep right there at their table. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was wrong with her, especially not after what he’d walked in on.


In the end, when they had had enough and decided to go back to their rooms, Deidara had picked her up gently and carried her up the stairs and was currently putting her in her own bed. Something was weird there too, but the shark couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He wasn’t exactly the analytical type.


He heard a soft shuffling and out of the corner of his eye he saw Deidara enter through the connecting door from Sakura’s room and slide the panel shut quietly. “Did you tuck the princess in all nice and cozy?” he jibed.


The blonde glared at him and began to remove his cloak. “Fuck off,” he said irritably.


Kisame chuckled. “Don’t get pissy. I just think it’s funny that you were such a gentleman to carry her like that.”


The blonde scoffed indignantly. “So what- I’m supposed to sling her over my shoulder like a barrel of rice? I’m not a complete asshole all the time, yeah.”


The shark grunted noncommittally. “Game?” he asked.


Deidara glanced over at the table the shark was sitting at and noted the deck of cards laid out and the bottle of sake the shark man had managed to smuggle upstairs. “Sure,” he said in a bored tone, moving over and sitting in the chair opposite. “Besides,” he said, pouring himself a cup of sake from the open bottle, “there was something wrong with her tonight.”


Kisame looked at him cautiously and started to deal cards. “It’s Itachi,” he said.


“Huh? What did he do to her this time?” the blonde asked, his voice taking on a slight edge.


More like what they were doing to each other. He debated for a moment whether or not to tell the blonde man. “There’s something going on between them,” he said carefully.


Deidara’s eyes narrowed and his mouth turned downward in a frown. “What do you mean?” he asked in a suspicious tone.


Kisame looked up from his cards and met the other man’s icy blue eyes. “I walked in on them earlier tonight.”


“What?” the blonde said sharply, eyes going wide.


“Mmhm. Making out like a couple of horny teenagers,” the shark answered bemusedly before pouring himself another cup of sake and downing it.


“Where’s Itachi now?”


“On the roof I think. But I wouldn’t bother him about it if I were you. Probably shouldn’t bring it up to her either just yet,”


Deidara’s scowl deepened and he looked at the door of the sleeping kunoichi’s room. “I wasn’t planning on it, yeah. It’s just…how the fuck did this happen? She was scared shitless of him a little over a week ago. You don’t think he…”


“Itachi doesn’t do things like that,” Kisame cut him off sternly. “He won’t even pay for a woman. Doesn’t need to I suppose,” he shrugged.


“So then what, hmm? Is this some kind of game he’s playing with her? Some twisted way to fuck his brother over once and for all?”


“Fuck if I know, man. According to Sakura, the little runt Uchiha doesn’t have those feelings for her and vice versa so I can’t see how this is about him.”


Deidara shook his head in disbelief. “So you think they’re really into each other then? Or does he just want to…I mean she is really…well…no. I don’t know Itachi all that well but he doesn’t seem like the type to really bother with women and sex, yeah.”


“He’s not. In all the years we’ve worked together there’ve only been a handful of times I can remember him seeking out a woman’s company, and it was just for…well, you know how it is. I don’t know what the hell this is about. I’ve never seen him like this, not once. And we’ve been partners for over ten years,” he shook his head in puzzlement.


The blonde’s frown deepened thoughtfully. “This could be bad, yeah. For the mission, for her, for everyone involved.”


Kisame nodded. “Yep.”


The two Akatsuki were quiet for a few minutes as they continued their card game. After a while, Deidara shook his head again. “Uchiha…that guy…he doesn’t deserve someone like her,” he muttered darkly.


Kisame raised his eyebrows and smirked. “And you do?”


The blonde man glared at the shark across the table. “I didn’t mean it like that, asshole. But to answer your question: no. I wouldn’t either, yeah. No one like us deserves someone like her. She’s got so much fire and spirit, and she’s still so pure of heart…so untainted by the shit we’ve seen. I think that’s probably what draws our kind to someone like her, like creatures of darkness drawn to fire, remaining forever out of reach. And someone like Itachi…who sees no beauty, feels no joy or appreciation for anything other than himself, he really doesn’t deserve to reach for that flame, yeah.”


Kisame chuckled lightly. “There you go waxing poetic again. Sounds to me like you’re just a tad bit jealous,” he said, smirking toothily at the glaring blonde.


“Don’t be stupid. And anyway, don’t act like she hasn’t had some effect on you, too, yeah,” he defended.


Kisame shrugged nonchalantly. “I’ll admit I like the girl. She’s smart, makes good jokes, and she’s damn tough and isn’t some sniveling little damsel. I’ll even admit I wouldn’t like it if she ended up dead at the end of all this. She’s definitely unique, and there is something about her; something even my indifferent partner has noticed. Too bad she’s one of the good guys,” he sighed almost wistfully.


Deidara frowned thoughtfully. “I think if she wasn’t, she’d be tainted and ruined just like the rest of us, and that special fire wouldn’t burn so bright anymore. Whatever’s going on around here, it’s probably gonna end badly, yeah.”


“I agree,” Kisame said, thinking to himself about how this new turn could affect all of them, and his eyes flicked to the brooding blonde thoughtfully. He seemed to be taking this rather personally. How interesting. He looked at his cards again and smiled sadistically before laying them out on the table for the other man to see. “Looks like you lose.”

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Sakura awoke the next morning and her first thought was to find out who had hit her in the head with a hammer and break their arm. Then she remembered that her head was throbbing because she’d gotten wasted drunk and passed out in the bar. Then, she remembered why she’d gotten so drunk and all of the events of the previous evening and her eyes flew open in mortified recollection. Bad idea! She groaned audibly and threw her arm over her face as the morning light sent throbbing pain through her bloodshot eyes.


Moaning in self pity at her sorry state and the reason behind it, she lay on her back with her arm over her eyes and carefully channeled healing chakra to her head to slowly ease her hangover from the inside. She thought about what had happened with Itachi. Along with embarrassment and unease at the whole situation and being caught like they had been, she also felt warm flutters of pleasurable sensation at the memory of his hands and lips on her body, of how he’d pressed himself against her and how damn good it had felt. She knew without doubt that if they hadn’t been interrupted, it would have gone further. Why was it so easy to just give in like that? Why wasn’t she resisting these primal urges? It was only lust right? Simple fascination and physical attraction, so why was it so hard to keep her head on straight when he looked at her with those beautiful dark eyes and spoke to her in that devastatingly sexy voice and when he got close to her and invaded all of her senses…Ok, she was so not helping herself by thinking that way.


There was no way she had any real feelings for him. She couldn’t. He wasn’t the type of person that it was even possible for anyone to care for on a deeper level, not if they were sane, and not to mention the fact that he was incapable of feeling any of those things himself. It wasn’t love, but she knew it wasn’t just pure lust either. Was it the danger? The fact that it was forbidden in so many ways? That certainly made it exciting, she’d admit, but it was only a factor and not the entirety. The boundaries between love and sex were complicated and blurred, and just as she was quickly learning with other aspects about life, things were not always simple and easily explained or categorized. It was a scary thought to a rational and analytical person like herself.


The throbbing in her head successfully eliminated, she slowly got out of bed and went about her morning routine. Kisame had said they were leaving today, and she wondered how much time she had and when they would come to get her. Kisame. How embarrassing to have him walk in like that. If it had been a few minutes later…her cheeks flushed just thinking about how embarrassing it would have been then. Still, she was somewhat glad it had been Kisame walking in and not Deidara. She wasn’t sure why exactly, but she knew she would have felt worse if he had been the one to see them like that, and the situation probably wouldn’t have gone over as smoothly as it had with the shark nin.


Sakura finished getting dressed and was gathering the rest of her belongings when she noticed a dark bundle sitting on the small sitting table. It hadn’t been there when she’d gone downstairs for drinks, and she walked over to it curiously to see what it was. There was a note lying atop what appeared to be black fabric, and she picked up the paper to read the scrawled and definitely masculine writing:

Sakura,

Take this, since you couldn’t get another one here in town. You’ll need it where we’re going.
It doesn’t have the pattern; I know that’s why you wouldn’t wear it the other day.
You’re such a stubborn woman.
Anyway, it should fit. Take care of it because they’re not easy to get.

Deidara.


Sakura’s face softened in wonder as she set the note aside and held up the black bundle. It was an Akatsuki cloak, but it was solid black without the red clouds and lining. Other than that it was the exact same cut and material. It was really nice, something she’d never noticed before in looking at the members’ cloaks. The fabric was thick and of very high quality, and it was expertly tailored. She knew just by holding it up to her body that it would fit perfectly. Deidara got this for her? How had he gotten it so quickly and how did it get here? Did he put it in here after she passed out last night? Wait, did that mean he was the one who brought her upstairs? She was very touched by the thoughtful gesture, but was still a bit apprehensive. It was true that she’d politely refused his offer of letting her borrow his cloak because it was it was a symbol of membership to a notorious criminal organization and the thought of wearing it made her highly uncomfortable, but the chivalrous gesture itself was also distressing to her given the odd relationships she was forming with them all, Deidara and Itachi in particular.


She re-read the note and a small smile formed on her features. She half expected his unique speech pattern to be in his writing as well, but she knew that people rarely write the way they speak. It really was a sweet gesture, and it was a beautiful cloak, and she really did need a warmer one if they were going to be moving farther north. She was still staring between the note and the cloak in her hand when there was a small knock at the door leading out of her room.


“Sakura-san? Are you awake?” Tobi called out to her from the other side of the shoji.


“Yes, Tobi. What is it?”


“Were leaving soon, Sakura-san. Tobi is supposed to tell you to get ready and come downstairs.”


“I’m ready. I’ll be right out.”


“Ok.”


Sakura bit her lip softly and stared at the heavy cloak for a long moment before sighing and slipping it over her shoulders. It fit beautifully, and felt nice too. She smiled softly before grabbing her pack, taking a last look to make sure she hadn’t left anything, and walking out into the hallway where Tobi was waiting.


They walked down the hallway in silence and after a moment when Tobi looked down at her. “Do you like the cloak, Sakura-san? Deidara-senpai told me to ask Zetsu-senpai to bring one when I met with him,” he said eagerly.


Zetsu? Tobi had met up with Zetsu? Why? More importantly, was the plant man here? She hoped not; he gave her the creeps. She smiled at the masked ninja. “It’s lovely, Tobi. Thank you for your part in getting it.” Though she couldn’t see his face, his aura was thrumming happily and she knew he was smiling, and she smiled wider and just couldn’t resist. “You’re a good boy,” she laughed, patting the tall man on the arm playfully.


They entered the lobby and found the other three waiting for them, fully cloaked and holding their pointed, straw hats in hand. “Zetsu told Tobi the base is straight north, four days travel from here on foot, and that everything up there is ready for when we get there, yeah,” she heard Deidara say as she walked up to the group. He turned to look at her and gave her a pleased look when he saw she was wearing her new cloak.


She walked up closer to him and smiled softly. “Thank you,” she said lowly so the others wouldn’t hear.


“It’s nothing, yeah. Looks good on you,” he murmured and looked away.


She felt Itachi’s eyes on her then, and turned to lock gazes with him, feeling a nervous flutter in her stomach. His eyes were dark, she was surprised to see, but his expression was unreadable. He looked at her new appearance blankly and after a moment looked away. She resisted the urge to growl in irritation. It looked like they were back at square one and he was distancing himself from her again. At least he would look at her this time. She was beyond frustrated. Why was he being so childish? They were both adults, and they had both consented to what they had done, so who really cared if they’d been caught? Why does it have to be so damned complicated?


Because he’s insane. Because he’s a murdering criminal, and you’re supposed to be one of the good guys, her conscience pointed out flatly. Well, after everything that had happened so far and was still happening, she wondered if maybe she was just a little bit insane as well. And lately, she wasn’t feeling so much like one of the good guys anymore.


The four Akatsuki donned their hats and moved outside, preparing to leave this town and all others behind for the remainder of their mission. The little old matron lady came shuffling out of the back and bowed to her in farewell. Sakura smiled at her and said goodbye, wrapped her scarf around her neck and followed the four men out into the chill morning air.

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For my AFF readers: just wanted to let you all know that there is fanart for this fic! It's done by ME. Yes, I am a semi-professional artist. SO. I decided to do some illustrations for my story as a thank you to all the loyal readers and reviewers. Some of the most loyal fans to this fic are here at AFF so I thought it was only fair that I share the art with you. :D

You can find it all at my Deviant Art page: http://cynchick.deviantart.com/

I also have all of the chapters and art posted at my Live Journal: http://cynchick.livejournal.com/

Also, in case you were wondering, this story is also up at FF.net