Role Play

Things you need to know: 'Yakuza' refers to the traditional Japanese organized crime groups and their members. (O)kaa-chan is 'mother/mom' in Japanese.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hoobastank, or anything like Hoobastank. What are you, nuts?
Mood Music: Barenaked Ladies 'Falling for the First Time'. Ish relah goood!

A/N: Thanks for all the amazing reviews! Oh, and it was my birthday, the friday before this post. Yup, just two days after Naruto's! (We Librans are hawt!) I was so bummed I wasn't online to post this in time for Naruto's birthday or my own; but it's here now, enjoy!!

And now for something completely different!

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Naruto was hiding in Tsunade's office. Having delegated all his responsibilities to his interns, he intended to stay there unless it was absolutely necessary that he leave. He wasn't sure who or what he was hiding from, but he just didn't want to deal with anyone today. He spent the time replaying his outing with Gaara, from the day before.

---

After spending the whole day wandering about the town, they had finally ended up at the amusement park. Gaara's disguise, which consisted of a ridiculously large American baseball jacket and matching cap was starting to get on the Daimyo's nerves. It appeared to attract comments more than anything. To prevent the impending disaster of Gaara losing his temper, Naruto had opted for a ride on the Ferris wheel. Quiet, calming and a perfect sky view of Konoha. At the head of the line, a bored looking girl collected their tickets, took one look at Gaara and snorted.

"Go Yankees..." Stupid American tourists.

Gaara, for his part, pulled out a pen and a notepad. "What is your name?"

Naruto quickly tugged him into the compartment. Before long, their slow ascent started and Gaara relaxed.

"You are selling yourself cheaply." Naruto raised an eyebrow. "To the Uchiha, I mean. You are selling yourself cheaply. Though I must admit surprise at his acceptance of the offer. I expected more of him."

Yeah, you and me both. Naruto simply shrugged.

"Whatever, I just hope he gets bored quickly, and we can finally go back to normal."

"Considering how you are, even if he does take you up on your offer, gets bored and leaves your bed- you won't be able to deal with it."

"Deal with what? There will be nothing to 'deal with'. I'll be fine!"

"You are one of those odd people who equate sex with love..."

Naruto stared at the deadpan man before him. That's odd? I am weird? What kind of perverted world was this?

"...If you have sex with Uchiha, you will be binding yourself to him. And you believe that he is not interested in such a bond. If your assumptions are correct, he will either pull away completely, or try to go back to the way things were before. Either of which would be impossible for you."

"No it won't. Besides, that is what I want..."

"What you think you want, and what you truly want are obviously two completely different things. I also believe you are giving him far too much power." Naruto eyed him dubiously, and Gaara shrugged. "It's a fact: the one who is less interested in maintaining a relationship, is the one who ultimately controls and dominates it."

"Right- and you learnt all this from?"

"Watching the 'Animal Planet'." Naruto rolled his eyes.

While Naruto brooded, Gaara got up and moved across the carriage. It oscillated as he stood over his friend and moved down to kiss him.

When Gaara finally pulled back and returned to his seat, Naruto eyed him with a raised brow.

"What was that for?"

"Given the situation you are in, it occurred to me: Who knows when I'll get another opportunity." Naruto smirked.

"What? You mean you'd want to do it again?"

"In a heartbeat." Naruto sighed.

"Do I need to start worrying about you too?" Gaara actually looked amused.

"Are you afraid that I am about to start wooing you, and double your problems? Don't worry about it- I'm not the romantic type."

"I don't know. After a few bottles of sake, you tend to get all Don Juan/Edgar Allen Poe on me." Gaara smiled, in spite of himself.

"Yes well, I may have the same Naruto-affliction Uchiha appears to have; but we do differ in one vital respect."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"I know I can live without you."

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Naruto sighed and shimmied further down into the leather chair. Why was his life always this complicated? He heard the door open, and looked up to see Sakura coming in.

"Naruto"

"Sakura-chan, I wanted to apologize for being so weird before." Sakura waved a hand deprecatingly.

"It's fine, it's fine. You were stressed out, who wouldn't be!" A brief grinning/mending-fences-session later, all was right in the world. Well, almost. "So what happened with you two?"

Naruto sighed and dropped his head to the desk. He should have figured Sakura was going to jump all over that immediately. After a few more prodding’s, he finally told her.

"HE WHAT? YOU WHAT?" Naruto waved his hands, trying to get her to stop screeching.

"Look, what's done is done. I just want to get back to normal." Sakura was too busy bristling to pay him any mind.

"Obviously there was been some misunderstanding! Sasuke-kun is not that stupid! YOU are that stupid! Making a dumb offer like that! But Sasuke-kun! Why on earth did he accept?! Clearly you have to talk to him!"

"What?! Why?! We already agreed! We kissed on it, which I assume is more legally binding than the usual handshake."

"You two need to talk about it." Naruto strongly disagreed. He didn't want to talk about anything anymore. He certainly had reached his limit discussing this with Sakura.

"I don't think so! The deal stands. I haven't heard him trying to call it off!"

"You have to talk about this! It's...It's like there's an elephant in your room, and you're just choosing to ignore it!"

"Why would there be an elephant in my room?" Naruto looked at the flushed woman, clearly puzzled.

"It's just a metaphor or what have you. The elephant is not the point."

"Really? If there was a big-ass elephant in my room, I think I'd want to know how it got there." Sakura swiped a hand over her face.

"Naruto, there is no elephant."

"You just said there was!"

"I was being symbolic!"

"With an elephant? Who makes symbols with an elephant? What are you, a republican?"

"Naruto, forget the elephant..."

"But how can I?! It's sitting right there!!" By this, Sakura was making vague clawing motions in the air.

"There isn't really an elephant!"

"But you said there was!"

"Enough with the goddamn elephant!!" Naruto looked completely taken aback.

"Sakura-chan, calm down! If elephants bother you so much, why bring them up?"

Sakura glared hard, a heartbeat away from throwing herself across the desk, and strangling the moron for all he was worth. Naruto was smiling in a positively maddeningly way.

Calm down, Sakura. You know what he's doing. It's a distraction technique. He's good at that. Just calm down and don't let him get to you.

Naruto stared at the ceiling for a moment, apparently thinking deep thoughts. "How would an elephant even get into my house anyway, let alone my room? Hey, do you think they have midget elephants?"

---

Tsunade's eyes widened as Sakura stalked passed, ranting in incoherent gibberish. She entered her office to see Naruto nursing his head.

"What did you do?" Tsunade asked, rolling her eyes as she shooed Naruto out of her chair and unto the small couch.

"Me? Nothing! We were talking about elephants, and then she got all bent out of shape for no reason!"

"I'm sure." Naruto assumed his most innocent, wide-eyed look.

"Why don't you ever believe me Baa-chan?!"

"Because you're a brat, and stop calling me granny!"

Naruto smiled at the irritable blonde woman.

"You're always complaining about that. Would it make you less huffy if I started calling you Kaa-chan instead?"

Tsunade froze, gaping at the young man, completely stunned at the question.

"What?!" Naruto shrugged and smiled sheepishly, looking off towards the door.

"I've been thinking, you know. That maybe it's time I re-evaluated some of my relationships. All this time I've had issues with mothers, and didn't think I'd even be able to call anyone 'mom', ever again. When I think about it though, you've being a mom to me more than anything, or anyone. Plus you don't look like a grandma- even if you are really ancient. So what do you think? Can you stand being called mom?"

Naruto finally hazarded looking at the woman, only to see her hastily trying to wipe tears away. Naruto did the next logical thing a man would do- he panicked.

"Nooo, don't cry!! I'll go back to calling you Baa-chan if that's what you want!!"

Tsunade finally managed to stop sniffling. Going over to the distraught and sputtering young man, she pulled him into a bear hug.

"Stupid! How could I mind? Damned brat."

"Kaa-chan, you're stifling me!" Came a muffled voice from the region of her bosom.

After Naruto could breathe again, he asked the next question he had for Tsuande.

"Do you ever regret it?" Tsunade looked up. "Falling in love with Dan, I mean. If you hadn't loved him, you could have avoided all that pain you went through. If you don't love someone, if it doesn't work out- then you could save yourself a lot of grief, right?"

Tsunade sighed; there was no easy answer for that.

"The only thing I regret is not having had more time with him. Those years with Dan, I wouldn't exchange for anything in the world; no matter how much it hurt when I lost him." Tsunade sighed again and started playing in Naruto's hair. "I can say without reservation, that if it is love- it's always worth it. You can't help who you love Naruto... the heart wants what it wants."

"Ero-sennin says the same thing whenever he meets an 18 year old co-ed."

"That perverted old ass wouldn't know true love, if it jumped up and bit him on his wrinkled behind! I know what I am talking about! Tsunade coughed discreetly and regained her composure. "You can't keep people out, they'll work their way in eventually. Someone as intrusive as you should know that better than anyone."

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Gloom was emanating from the house as Sakura pulled into the driveway. Obviously Sasuke was in full-out angst mode, and was probably deteriorating. Gathering the last of her courage, the young woman rang the doorbell. A while later Sasuke answered and stared at his pink-haired friend. She immediately thrust a large jar at him.

"Since I am not allowed to interfere in your relationship, I have come here to borrow some sugar!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and leaned lazily against the door frame.

"Sakura, there is still sugar in that jar." Sakura looked down at the almost full jar, and started tittering nervously.

"Heh, so there is! One moment please." She backed up a few steps and dumped the contents of the jar all over Sasuke's lawn. "Now I'm out of sugar! Help me out."

Sasuke debated closing the door in her face and going back to his brooding. After a few nerve-wracking minutes, he relented and took the jar. Sakura bounded in and started following his about like a shadow. Sasuke wasn't in a patient mood.

"What?!"

"What happened with you two?! Naruto says you agreed to some deal, that has him whoring himself out to you! That's wrong, right? You didn't, right?"

For the love of... Does she know everything? You team up with a person for one year, strictly in the name of taijutsu, and suddenly they think they are entitled to running your life.

"There was a misunderstanding..." Sasuke admitted at length. Sakura heaved a great sigh of relief.

"Oh, so you are going to straighten him out? He is completely stonewalling and won't talk. So you are going to sort this whole mess out and everything will be fine!" Sakura crossed her arms, and nodded confidently.

Handing her the jar of sugar, Sasuke passed Sakura and flopped down into his armchair. "I'm done talking."

"What?"

"I'm done. Let him believe whatever he wants to believe. I'm sick of this. He thinks that I don't know what I want or feel. That I am just confusing lust and a screwed-up friendship with love. You know what? Maybe the jackass is right, stranger things have happened."

"Sasuke-kun, you don't mean that!"

"Naruto and I do have a weird relationship, and things can get confused."

"But you know what you feel!" Sasuke opened his mouth to retort, but stopped.

"Forget it, you don't understand."

There was a long pause, just before Sasuke was hit viciously over the head with a cushion.

"What the... (whap), stop hitting...(smack), WILL YOU QUIT... (whap) SAKURA!!" Sasuke managed to wrench the cushion away, and stop the onslaught. "WHY are you hitting me?!"

"Because you are doing it again!" Though Sasuke conveyed ignorance and an appreciable amount of killer intent, Sakura would not be derailed. "The whole 'no one understands, no one gets it, no one has loved the way I love, or hurt the way I hurt' thing! You know something? Not only is it getting really tired; right now, it's just counter-productive!"

People often say that just before you are about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. Sakura didn't really have that experience. What she did feel, was the certainty of an impending death. After that came the calming, zen-like feeling that she was about to die for one of the greatest causes a person could die for: True Love.

However, death did not come swift and true at the hands of a darkly beautiful, avenging angel. Instead, the eyes of said darkly beautiful, avenging angel, frosted over and his jaw tightened. Then, using language not typically associated with heavenly and divine creatures (even the avenging ones), Sasuke demanded that Sakura take her damned sugar and get the fuck out of his house.

Though her life was spared, this merciful development did not comfort Sakura in the least. Sasuke was not the easiest person to bargain with, even when he was in the best of moods. Putting on her most contrite and placating expression, Sakura hazarded speaking once more.

"I'm sorry Sasuke-kun. I shouldn't have said that. Well, I shouldn't have said it like that. It's just frustrating to me, seeing you and Naruto self-sabotage like this. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for the two of you- feeling what you both feel and not being able to get anywhere."

Sasuke's features remained immobile and stony. The look he sent Sakura made her feel as if he was contemplating throwing her out physically. She swallowed convulsively and continued, finding herself trampling on thin ice.

"You remember when we were kids, and Naruto had a crush on me?"

'Vaguely', Sasuke's thoughts sounded sarcastic and grumpy, even to him. Was she ever going to let go of that?

"...And I was so awful to him; I would say and do the worst things to get him to leave me alone."

"Is there a point to this?" Sasuke ground out testily. Being inadvertently reminded that he wasn't (and isn't) exactly the nicest person to Naruto either, was not helping his mood.

"Yes, my point is that despite all the stuff we said and did to hurt him, he'd still come after us. Naruto has spent half our lives chasing us around Sasuke-kun. If he had given up half way, we'd probably be perfect strangers; giving each other awkward smiles at reunions or on the street."

Sasuke conceded the point. Naruto did spend a good portion of their childhood and teenage years chasing after him. He didn't want to think about what it would be like if Naruto had given up on him. It took him a moment to realize Sakura was still speaking.

"...which is why I think you should role play!" Sasuke looked up in surprise.

"Role play?"

"Yeah, role play. Be the Naruto in this situation. Don't give up on him; chase him around until he understands. Naruto deserves to be the one chased, for once Sasuke-kun. And you deserve to catch him. Just think about it before you quit." Sakura gave the silent man an encouraging smile, before taking her jar and heading for the door. "Thanks for the sugar!"

Sakura closed the door behind her, certain that Sasuke was inside mulling over her words. On the other hand, she was exhausted. Her two idiots were so difficult. If they have amazing sex, they better name it after me!

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Sasuke sat in the hospital parking lot, nervously drumming his fingers on his steering wheel. For the millionth time, he checked his appearance in the rearview mirror. As expected of his hair, with the exception of his bangs, it continued to defy gravity. It wasn't about to change for love or money. He sighed, contemplated opening the car door, and heading into the hospital. Convincing himself that he was an Uchiha, and Uchiha were not spineless jellyfish, Sasuke willed himself out of the car.

He was glad that the cool weather permitted his choice of outfit. The white button down shirt, black slacks and his favourite black leather trench coat. If he was going to make an ass of himself, he should at least he knew he looked good doing it.

The automated doors to the hospital slid open, granting him entry. He strode in, a flurry of cherry blossoms swirling about him. For a moment he stood in the entrance, searching for a hint of blond.

"Wow, that entrance was both dramatic and sexy!" An intern said appreciatively.

"Shh, quiet! He's still milking it!" Another young doctor whispered in response.

Activity stilled until the last cherry blossom had floated sexily to the ground, and Sasuke finally stepped forward into the lobby. Then everyone got back to what they were doing. It is simply bad manners to distract from the angst-filled, dramatically sexy entrance of a hero on a noble quest.

Before Sasuke could head towards Naruto's usual hang-out, he spotted his quarry. Blue eyes shone out like a beacon, despite the face being hidden by a surgical mask and cap. The eyes stared at him suspiciously, before widening when they latched on to Sasuke's. The doctor quickly backpedaled. Undeterred, Sasuke went after him. He had decided he was doing this, and not even a skittish Naruto was going to stop him.

Maneuvering around patients and doctors alike, Sasuke caught the fleeing man and tripped him. The man fell into Sasuke's arms, and remained there. It looked as if Sasuke was dipping him after a dance. Sasuke wasn't going to be able to hold that romantic pose for long; Naruto was ridiculously heavy.

"There is no point in running. I have you and I'm not letting you go!"

"Sasuke, what are you doing?" Sasuke looked up in the direction of the voice, to see Naruto standing in front of him. The look on his face clearly conveyed that he thought Sasuke had lost what little there was of his mind.

"Wait, Naruto? If you are there...who the hell is this?" Sasuke tugged down the surgical mask to reveal a completely bewildered surgical resident, who was most definitely not Naruto. "What the... why the hell did you run?" Sasuke asked the startled man indignantly.

"What did you expect me to do? The suit, the trench coat, the sexy, dramatic entrance! Obviously I thought you were Yakuza!"

Curiosity got the best of Naruto. "Why would you run from Yakuza?"

"Well, I've incurred some gambling debts and (oof)" The surgeon's answer ended in a pained grunt, as Sasuke dropped him unceremoniously to the floor, and stepped over him to get to Naruto.

"Look dobe, we have to talk. And if I don't do this now, I sure as hell may never do it again."

Naruto started to respond but Sasuke cut him off before he got a word out.

"I know you think I'm confused about what I feel, but I'm not. I have never been clearer about anything, as I am now. I love you, I know that, and I need you to know that. Not the kind of love that you can write off and say it's there because we are best friends or we're like brothers..."

A woman with a hearing problem, strained to catch the conversation.

"Did he say they're brothers? That's disgraceful! Yet, strangely fascinating and erotic. Maybe because it's so taboo and forbidden. You know I once had a cousin..." Her attending nurse turned up the dosage of sedatives from the woman's IV-drip; and she was out cold in a matter of seconds. The chatterbox was distracting her from a real-life soap opera.

Sasuke continued talking in a flustered rush, fortunately not hearing the woman's outburst.

"What I'm feeling is crazy and intense, and frankly starting to freak me out a little. It makes no sense. It's dirty and pure at the same time; and it makes me feel the most amazing things, that I don't think I have any right to feel. Because I know how I am."

I'm not a perfect person; there are many things I wish I didn't do.

"We both have serious trust issues, and I have done more than my share of things, to make you afraid to trust me. Sometimes I can't help who I am..."

But I continue learning; I never meant to do those things to you.

"But I am willing to try, for us, for you- because I know you are worth it. And what we could have would be real."

And so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know; I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be.
A reason to start over new. And the reason is you.

"Everything that happened in the past- I can't take back, I wish I could. I wasn't always there for you, but I want the chance to be there from now on."

I'm sorry that I hurt you, that’s something I must live with everyday.
And all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away, And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear-

"And I know you feel the same way about me, or I wouldn't put myself out on a limb like this..."

I've found a reason to show, a side of me you didn't know.
A reason for all that I do, and the reason is you...

"And I swear to Kami-sama if he doesn't stop singing, I'll break his legs!!"

"THE REASON IS YOU!! AND THE REASON IS YO-..." By then, the aspiring singer was on his knees emoting for all he was worth. This could be his big break. How often do owners of record labels make themselves this accessible?

He quieted abruptly when he heard Sasuke yell. He stopped baring his chest, and opened his eyes to see said label owner glaring at him. He rose sheepishly.

"I was just... providing a little mood music for your gay confession there, heh. Umm, I have a demo CD with me and my band playing..."

Sasuke took a threatening step towards the man, which sent him screaming down the corridor. Pausing to see if anyone else was about to break into song, Sasuke came to the realization that about every hospital worker, mobile patient and arbitrary visitor had gathered to witness the show. It was official; he had made an ass of himself.

To add injury to insult, Naruto was staring at him incredulously as if he'd sprouted a second head. Sasuke felt embarrassed and defeated.

"It doesn't make any difference, does it? You've already made up your mind." And with that, he turned abruptly and quickly exited the hospital, leaving a stunned Naruto and expectant audience in his wake. Well except for one person.

"AMAZING! What a wonderful performance!" Chiyo, an elderly patient with a sick tendency to play dead and scare the interns, waltzed in front of Naruto. "Simply amazing! Of all the hospitals I have been in, I have never seen a live theatre! Oooh, is this the part where you chase after him and declare your undying love?" She batted her eyes at Naruto.

Naruto then reached out and pulled the life-giving IV from Chiyo baa-chan's arm, laughing evilly as she crumpled to the floor. At least, that is what he wanted to do. Naruto suppressed the urge.

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Sasuke reached home in record time. He needed to find a quick, clean, and efficient way to kill himself. He needed to find it before the full horror and heartbreak of the trauma he just endured, hit him. No, he wasn't being melodramatic; and yes, he was serious.

'Sure you are, you drama queen.' A specter of Naruto taunted him, as he looked about the house for anything to assuage his suicidal tendencies.

"Shut up! You don't get to talk!" Great, he was arguing with a figment of his imagination. The Naruto specter simply rolled his eyes and disappeared.

A few minutes later, Sasuke still hadn't found anything worthy enough to be his suicide vehicle. He sat down to angst and eat a tomato. He'd kill himself later.

He flew up in surprise when his door was suddenly flung open. There was Naruto, doubled up and panting. The blond was struggling frantically to catch his breath.

"Naruto!" The other man raised a hand, asking Sasuke to give him a minute as he repaid his oxygen debt.

"Car. Broke. Down. Had. To. Run. All. The. Way." A few more heaves later, Naruto finally straightened up, good as new. "Gama-chan stopped about three miles up the road. I ran full speed to get here."

"Why?" Sasuke asked suspiciously, trying not to get his hopes up.

"I figured you were trying to find a quick, clean, and efficient way to kill yourself. Is that blood or tomato juice?" Sasuke quickly cleaned his face.

"I'm fine, moron. And I am not suicidal." Sasuke said moodily.

"No, but you are a drama queen." Sasuke sent him a glare that spoke volumes. "What on earth's the matter with you?"

"Excuse me?" Sasuke was surprised at Naruto's tone. What was he put out about? He, Uchiha Sasuke, was the one who had horribly and publicly humiliated himself!

"You can't just drop bombshells on a guy like that, and then immediately run off wailing into the sunset! It was like a romance drive-by."

"I did not 'run off wailing'! I..."

"I was at the hospital! I was working! I had a patient's urine sample in my hand. You couldn't have expected me to recover so quickly and then run after you! Just because now you decide to prove your sincerity!"

"Well I..."

"This isn't one of those medical dramas that have more affairs than sick people! You have any idea what I had to do to get here? I had to drop off the sample, order the tests, give out my patients to Sakura and my interns, and then clear it with Kaa-chan, so I could leave the hospital."

"I just thought..."

"Oh I know what you thought! You thought you'd just waltz in, all hot and sexy. You'd sweet-talk me, I'd swoon, fall into your arms like some love-struck southern belle, and then we'd have consummatory sex in one of the supply closets!"

"I-I didn't think you'd swoon..."

"This is real life! Not a TV. show, not a tacky romance novel, and certainly not some yaoi fanfiction with over-the-top characterizations and a forcedly humorous plot, by some rabid sex-crazed fangirl with an idealized view of gay men; written for other rabid sex-crazed fangirls and boys, with idealized views of gay men! In real life, Sasuke, you do stuff like that when I have time-off!!" Sasuke remained silent, afraid to say anything lest Naruto gave him another tongue-lashing.

Since Naruto seemed to have run out of steam, Sasuke hazarded speaking again. "So...what are you here to talk about?"

Naruto sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, I don't want to talk to you anymore, Sasuke. I'm done talking."

Sasuke's heart started beating erratically, as he tried to pick up where this was heading. He felt his stomach plummet at Naruto's next words.

"I've come to a decision."

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TBC! One more chapter everyone, and then you can kiss Role Play goodbye! *sob*
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A/N: I am not sure- does this ending qualify as a cliff-hanger? Heh, if it does, evil ain't I?
I was appalled at the number of people who tried to stab me because of the little bit of angst in the last chapter. Really now! I guess if you are delusional enough to try stabbing me online, it would be futile to point out that if you kill me, the story would never be complete! XD
I was super happy with the reviews, threats and encouragement the faithful sent me, you guys keep me going! Thanks ever so much *swoon*. My internet woes remain, but Chapter 12 (da conclusion) is on the way! You can stab away then!

The lyrics for Hoobastank's 'The Reason', were in and italics interwoven with Sasuke's speech. It was being sung by some wanna-be idol while our poor Sasu-chan was giving the most important emo-chat of his life. That idea was taken from me and my friends. In accordance with the girl-code, we mercilessly heckle almost any guy with the stones to 'chat us up' while we are in a group. The last time it happened to me, my idiot friends burst into a corny love song, sending the poor guy screaming into the night. Never to be seen again, until my next Microbiology class, that is...hehehe. I love my best friends, so deliciously evil.

I am a review monster: feed me!