The Definition of Piety

A/N: I really am trying desperately hard to keep them in character. Also, thank you for not griping too much about the length of the last chapter. I’ve been having a really hard past few months. Anyways, pity party over, on to the reviews.

Special thanks to:

mina
caidanu
MeLaiya
Tofupimp
lo
Sickgirl
jess249
PieldeLava
ChrissyCrimson
XoXgaaraXoX
Anon

You guys rock my entire world. I love you all so much!

Also, in case ya’ll didn’t see my wonderful fanart in the last chapter. Here it is again:

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h146/tofu-pimp/sasunarufic.jpg

This was done by Tofupimp. Isn’t it absolutely fucking gorgeous? I demand you all worship her, now!…please.

Tofupimp, may I kidnap you and lock you in my closet and force you to draw me pretty pictures all day?

Ahem, anyways, on to the chapter!

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A favor

He woke up to the feeling of warmth surrounding him.

His eyes opened reluctantly to face the light that signaled that morning had come, shining brightly through the small opening in the tent. It was an odd experience for Neji to wake up feeling so utterly comfortable that actually getting up was almost regretful. Usually he woke before the sun rose after a light sleep that only a shinobi could find fulfilling. However, this morning, he felt as if he had slept soundly and comfortably for hours, which he most likely had.

He squinted slightly as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness and he nearly let out a very unbecoming squeak when he realized the reason for the comforting warmness. The first thing he noticed was a pale hand intertwined with his own resting lightly against his stomach. The next thing that registered was the warm breath puffing evenly on the back of his neck.

Gaara…

He remember now the night before when Gaara had admitted, if only to Neji, that he hurt more then his stoic persona let on. He also remembered that the boy had wrapped his arms around him in order to finally feel what it was like to hold someone, even if it really didn’t mean as much in the end.

He smiled softly when he realized that this position, which in most cases he would have found infinitely uncomfortable, was actually very nice…yes, that was a good word for it. Nice.

So this is what it felt like? This is what it felt like to be perfectly capable of protecting yourself and yet even then, when wrapped up in strong arms having the feeling of being so vulnerable and safe at the same time? This is what Naruto and Sasuke felt?

He was pulled gently from his thoughts when the pale hand that was entwined with his own carefully dislodged itself from his fingers and began a soothing caress against his stomach. Back and forth, up and down, never putting more than a ghost of pressure yet enough for Neji to let out a small sigh and for his eyes to flutter shut. He leaned back more fully into the warm chest pressed against his back and focused his attention on the hand that made such simple and profound movements against the material of his clothes, searing its way right onto his skin.

This too was nice. The hand was so gentle and sincere that for once Neji felt as if he truly had what Naruto and Sasuke shared. That sense of not only feeling love but feeling that love reciprocated.

Yes, nice indeed.

However, it took Neji a second to realize that if Gaara’s hand was caressing his stomach then the rest of Gaara was surely awake as well.

His eyes widened a fraction and he turned over slowly in those arms. He let his eyes travel up to the face of his companion and he was shocked to see what he found there.

Gaara was still very much asleep.

Neji could only remember one other time of seeing the Kazekage like this…when he had been dead. At the time he hadn’t known Gaara very well, nor had he truly cared to. The only worry he had felt had been when he had seen Naruto so upset over the assumed loss of his friend. Yet even then, even when his opinion of the other boy was poisoned by the memories of the monster he had been during the chuunin exam, he couldn’t help but think Gaara had a sort of ethereal beauty about him. As he had laid still on the unforgiving ground, his face relaxed, his eyes closed, his breathing stopped along with his heart, Neji could have sworn that there was a sense of calmness about him that had not been there before. That though Sabaku no Gaara only wore an emotionless mask (Unless of course he was feeling the intense pleasure of crushing someone to death) it was at that time, only when his life had ended, that Gaara was devoid of the burden that tormented him and was finally his true self.

The Kazekage had been beautiful in death.

And now it was the same as it had been then. Neji watched the steady rise and fall of the Gaara’s chest as he continued to sleep, his even breathing washing gently over Neji’s face as Gaara continued to hold him. He wondered idly that if his love for Naruto had not ruined him already, would the boy who lay in front of him have had the job of doing it?

Slowly, as not to awaken the rarely sleeping Kazekage, Neji reached out his hand, searching for what he wasn’t sure of, and only realizing it when the tips of his fingers brushed across the smooth skin of Gaara’s pale cheek. It was as soft as it appeared to be, years of protection from the sand he controlled saw to that. As his fingers traced along one high cheekbone, Neji felt a smirk come to his lips.

It took a whole hell of a lot to get the Kazekage to fall asleep, but once he did, the kid slept like a rock.

The smile was fleeting though as his fingers moved to run softly along the darkened skin under and over Gaara’s eyes. The dark rings being a physical proof of the burden of being Shukaku’s vessel, even after the demon was gone, years of habitual insomnia was hard to break. The tips of his fingers graced over one slightly pointed nose- and Neji quite enjoyed the feeling of its smallness and found it admittedly to be kind of cute- until he came to those pink lips that he found to be quite intriguing and undeniably intimidating at the moment. He was just about to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat and continue on his exploration when teal eyes snapped open.

Neji gave a small jolt and went to pull his hand away but Gaara caught it quite easily, holding it firmly in his own.

“What were you doing, Neji?” Still that same voice, as if he hadn’t just caught Neji pawing all over his face.

Neji continued to stare in shock for a moment, until finally regaining his senses. “I was checking for bugs.” He threw out casually, hoping to lighten the mood. However, Gaara just continued to stare at him with that ever blank expression. “I was only joking, Gaara.”

“I know.” Gaara said, and then continued to remain silent, waiting expectantly for Neji to answer his question.

“I…I’m sorry, Gaara. I don’t know why I did it. I’ve just never seen you asleep before. And it’s only the second time I’ve seen you so…serene.” Neji answered, feeling far more nervous then was befitting of a Hyuuga.

“When was the other time?”

“When you were dead.” Ok, so perhaps he could have put it a little less blunt.

“I see.” If Gaara was fazed by Neji’s answer, he didn’t show it. Instead he nonchalantly brought Neji’s hand to rest back against his cheek. “It feels nice.” He said blandly, as blunt as ever.

Neji’s eyes widened in surprise for what felt like the hundredth time since they started this trip, but they quickly softened as he watched Gaara’s own eyes flutter closed as he leaned slightly into the warm touch, reveling silently in the new experience. Neji slowly began to continue his gentle exploration of Gaara’s skin, and he couldn’t help but notice when Gaara let out a contented sigh. It was small but it was there.

“Why are you letting me do this? I would have figured you would have tried to kill me by now.” Neji tried to keep his tone light, but he felt his anxiousness building as Gaara’s eyes opened slowly once more. His hand stopped and just rested against Gaara’s cheek, his fingers gliding almost unnoticeably over Gaara’s temple as those sea green eyes unmercifully studied him. He held his ground under the scrutiny. He wanted to know.

“I was thinking that they must have been doing something like this…among other things. I want to know what it’s like. Since I was six years old, I’ve never let someone touch me in a gentle matter. I’ve always wanted it to be him. But now…now that that wont happen, I at least want to experience it. And I at least want it to be someone who understands completely the reason why…does that answer your question, Neji?” Gaara finished, his fingers somehow now resting atop Neji’s own. It never ceased to amaze Neji that anyone could say something so personal and deep in such a monotone voice. “Besides, I wouldn’t kill you. You offer too much amusement.”

He could have punched him for that one.

“Oh, well thank you, Gaara. How considerate of you.” Neji said sarcastically, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. It was a very uncharacteristic move for him, but he found himself doing things differently quite a lot while around Gaara.

A small smile twitched at Gaara’s lips before his face fell solemn once more. Neji suddenly felt an unwelcome twitch in his stomach. Something was off with Gaara’s expression. It was as if the Kazekage actually wanted to say something but was holding back.

“What is it, Gaara?” Neji asked, internally scolding himself for letting his worry show through in his voice.

Gaara paused for a moment longer, seemingly searching for the right words. It was unnerving to see someone like Gaara so uncertain about something. “Neji…you seem to be the only one that I trust saying things of this nature to. And I also feel comfortable enough with you to allow you to touch me. So, seeing as how you seem to be the current best option, forgive me for asking you for a favor…” Gaara trailed off, seemingly waiting for Neji’s consent to continue.

“What type of favor?” Neji was beginning to feel anxious once more. What could be so important that Sabaku no Gaara would actually be shy?

“I…want to experience something else, and I need you to help me do it.”

“What?” Neji thought that his eyes might bulge out of his head when Gaara suddenly moved his face closer to Neji’s own, his lips hovering close to Neji’s. realization hit the Hyuuga hard. So Gaara wanted to experience his first kiss…with him? “Oh…”

“Do you mind?” Gaara asked in a low voice, his eyes boring holes into Neji.

“Well…no, I don‘t think so, but wouldn’t you rather share this with someone you care about?” Neji gulped slightly at the prospect of kissing Gaara.

“Neji, the person I love spent last night most likely fucking the person I hate. You are the closest thing to a friend that I have after Naruto, and it can’t be him. And if it can’t be him then the only other person that I have no problem doing this with is you. So, may I?” Gaara said pointedly, explaining his logic as if it were the most rational thing in the world and then looking at Neji like he was surely an idiot for not seeing it.

“I…I…” Dammit, he was stuttering. Hyuuga Neji did not stutter! “Close your eyes, Gaara.” he breathed out suddenly, winning the battle against his nerves. Gaara did as he was told and Neji watched as those teal irises disappeared behind pale eyelids. He gritted his teeth and ordered his nerves to calm. He could admit that he was in fact curious. His hand still rested against Gaara’s cheek and he jumped slightly when a tentative hand came up to place itself on his own cheek. Gaara’s hand was trembling noticeably against his skin, in fact, Gaara’s entire body was shaking. It seemed Gaara was nervous, perhaps even scared. It was a sight that he was sure very few people, if any, had ever seen before. It was undeniable proof that Sabaku no Gaara was in fact human.

Finding himself in awe of Gaara’s nervousness Neji began to close the distance between them.

In truth, this would be his first kiss as well. He had always been too withdrawn, had always thrown himself into his training, had always been in love with Naruto. The opportunity had probably presented itself many times but he had always ignored it. So while he may have been superior in many aspects to his comrades, they had always been ahead of him when it came to this. He felt like a child again.

His heart was thudding wildly in his chest as his own lips came closer the Gaara’s. at the last second before their lips touched, his eyes fluttered closed, and…

He missed.

He actually missed.

His lips instead came in contact with the side of Gaara’s mouth and at that point he could have sworn that it was indeed possible to die from embarrassment. However, all was quickly forgotten when Gaara took hold of his chin and redirected his lips against his own.

Then it was just slightly chapped lips against soft pouty ones. Their lips just rested against each other’s for a second, unsure of how to proceed, but Neji took the first step and began to slowly move his lips against Gaara’s, his fingers moving on their own accord from Gaara’s cheek up to tangle in his shockingly red hair. Gaara, following Neji’s lead, moved his arm to around Neji’s waist, pulling the other boy closer to him, silently enjoying the feeling of the firm body pressed up against his own. It was admittedly clumsy and inexperienced, but there was something about it. Something that was comforting about the way they were both unsure of what to do, and yet neither pushed more than the other, neither demanded more than the other. In the back of his mind, Neji was glad that his first kiss had been shared with Gaara.

Yet, it was only when he ran his tongue along the seam of Gaara’s lips and Gaara’s body stiffened against his own that Neji came to his senses. A kiss could be simple, but deepening it like that meant something more. He knew that Gaara wasn’t actually resisting him and was probably only shocked for a moment, in fact that was confirmed when Gaara’s mouth opened slightly, accepting the offer of Neji’s tongue, but instead Neji pulled away, his eyes wide as he stared at Gaara’s face. Gaara’s own eyes opened to look questioningly at him.

“I’m sorry, Gaara.” Neji blurted out before he could stop himself.

“for what?” Gaara seemed generally confused by Neji’s behavior.

“This was wrong…”

“But-”

“No, don’t give something important like that to me. Just don’t, alright? I’m not Naruto and neither are you. We shouldn’t do this to each other…it’s not right.” Suddenly Neji unwrapped himself from Gaara’s embrace and was quickly to his feet, heading for the entrance of the tent. “I’ll start the fire.” He said over his shoulder before stepping out into the morning, leaving Gaara behind.

Once out in the open, and sure that Gaara most likely would not follow, he rested against a nearby tree, trying desperately to calm his racing heart. He was upset with himself for bursting like that, but he still couldn’t stop the guilt that was churning in the pit of his stomach. Neji could never be a replacement for Naruto and Gaara could never be one either. They were just using each other. Fighting to keep the pain they felt in check. Fighting to find comfort in someone who could actually understood, and that was fine, but not at the expense of something like this. Not if they had to trample selfishly over rationality to achieve it.

No matter what, Neji loved Naruto.

No matter what, Gaara loved Naruto.

And in the end they were just using each other because they couldn’t have him.

It’s not right, Neji kept repeating over and over in his head, trying unsuccessfully to forget the feeling of Gaara’s lips against his own.