Hunger

Disclaimer: I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.
Warnings: yaoi, INCEST, sexual harrassement, AU, unbetaed.
Pairings: At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.

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A/N: Here's the chapter 11, FINALLY! Sorry it took so long!

Thank you so much for all the reviews! Sorry I havent answered to them all.

I thought I'd be faster writing this story but big things have happened in my life. I got depressed to the point that I even had some psychotic symptoms. Hell, I even felt my personality divide! I've been told that I have Schizotypal personality disorder. Well, I'm now on a loooong sick leave, regaining my mental health. I've used all my energy to repair myself, so I haven't had much time to continue this story. Now I'm feeling better, though.

I drew two pictures about this chapter. See my profile for links.

Oh, this chapter is unbetaed because my beta is very busy at the time.

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Chapter 11: Double life

The little confidence Gaara had managed to get around Naruto vanished in a second as he received a pointed stare from Kankuro. It was like those endless, black pools could see into his very soul, revealing the secrets he tried his best to keep in the dark.

Gaara closed the front door and it felt like the sharp click of the lock was echoing in the quiet house.

Dead silence fell over them and it felt like even the time itself had stopped. Gaara wondered what actually was real, for the time with Naruto seemed now like some distant, childlike dream. Right now, real were only the smothering silence, the blackness that was suffocating both the house and their minds, and last but not least, Kankuro's inquisitive attention that was uncomfortably directed at him.

"You look tired, Gaara," Kankuro spoke calmly, his stare still remaining on the wary-looking redhead.

Gaara almost started at the words for he had not expected the silence to be broken. He wondered if his brother was actually capable of reading minds, for it sure felt like his own thoughts weren't safe in his head anymore. He was afraid that Kankuro would somehow know about him and Naruto just by looking at him. Was that why Kankuro was looking at him like that? Did he actually know? Realizing he was once again caught in his paranoia, Gaara tried to relax and faced his brother once more. When he looked more carefully, Kankuro didn't look so intimidating anymore but rather tired, as if he had been awake all night, too.

"Do you want some coffee?"

At the mention of the black extract, Gaara's eyes lighted up. The faint, familiar aroma that floated into his nose right then and the half-smile on his brother's face were enough encouragement for him to follow Kankuro into the kitchen. He hadn't had his morning coffee yet, for unlike himself, Naruto wasn't a coffee lover. The blond didn't actually even own a coffee maker of any kind. During the time Gaara had lived alone with his brother, they had both became caffeine addicts of some sort. One time, when there had been only a few coins left of their monthly income, they had both consensually decided to buy coffee instead of food.

All the positive feelings that Gaara associated with coffee made him relax and lower his guard down, so he wasn't prepared for one sudden question.

"Did you have good time?"

Kankuro was leaning on the doorframe, blocking the way and once again staring at his little brother with those piercing eyes of his.

"Yeah," Gaara answered automatically, instantly hoping that his reply hadn't been too quick. The thought of Kankuro being able to read his mind came back to him but he pushed it away, appealing to his rational side and telling himself that telepathy was impossible.

Kankuro lowered his gaze and took a sip of his coffee, the marks of tiredness and sleepless nights slowly fading away from his face. The both of the brothers drifted off into their thoughts and the only sound disturbing the silence was the lazy ticking of the kitchen clock. Kankuro poured some more coffee to himself and drank it peacefully, thinking.

He had noticed every little gesture Gaara had made, even those that the redhead had probably thought would go unnoticed. Gaara was so easy to read that it almost made him laugh. Oh, how he wanted to say that he knew what had happened last night! He wanted to shout out loud that he had seen with his very eyes how Gaara had rubbed and touched the disgusting blond, all the way to the point of Naruto's body going rigid until going limp again. He had seen it all, and it had broken his heart. He wanted to take his hurt and disappointment out on something but he couldn't, so he just kept the feelings bottled up inside. There was time for actions and time for biding one's time, and now was certainly the latter case.

"Well that's good," Kankuro finally said after a long silence, his black eyes back on Gaara again. Now the coffee was drunk and all there was left was a bitter aftertaste.

Gaara didn't say a word but stayed silent. Once again he was uncomfortable because the evaluating stare was back on him and this time he almost swore Kankuro could see the very depths of his soul. There was a knowing glint in the blackness of his brother's eyes but there was no way Kankuro would know anything. That would be impossible.

--

Only the soft clipping of scissors was heard in the kitchen as Gaara was cutting Naruto's hair. For a good two years now, he had been cutting both his own and his brother's hair. It was easy and creative and he liked it a lot.

They had been together now for about two weeks. It felt still so unreal, like he was in a dream. A dream from which he didn't want to wake up, a dream he feared would turn into a nightmare. They hadn't gone further than kissing, mostly because Naruto had insisted that they shouldn't move on too fast. For Gaara it was okay but under the surface, he constantly kept on worrying if he was good enough. He feared that Naruto would get tired because of their slow pace, no matter how many times the blond had told him that being together was all that mattered, not what they did or didn't do. Still, the doubt wouldn't leave Gaara's heart and he secretly feared for the day when this dream would end.

What he was happy about was that he had managed to keep everything in secret from his brother and he had even succeeded in convincing Kankuro that it wouldn't harm his studying if he spent one night per week at Naruto's place. Double life wasn't all that easy, though, for it had proven hard to keep secrets from both Naruto and Kankuro. Especially after those times he'd been with his brother, it had been really difficult to be around Naruto, pretending like nothing was going on at home behind the closed doors. In public, he and Naruto never showed their feelings or any tokens of affection. They had both agreed to act the neutral way because no matter how open minded and modern their society was claimed to be, most people still didn't have warm feelings for minorities like homosexuals. And partly, they avoided getting attention thanks to Gaara's secret paranoia of Kankuro finding out about them.

Kiba, that Naruto's jerk of a friend, had suddenly apologized Naruto for their fights and had suggested that they should be friends again. As a cheerful and social person, the blond had of course accepted the apology and after that, Naruto had hung around with Kiba at school and sometimes in freetime, too. Kiba had even agreed to be with Naruto when Gaara was around and a few times, the three of them had eaten lunch together. As Gaara had expected, the brown haired boy never talked to him but directed his attention only to Naruto. Still, every now and then Kiba had given him smirks and not so friendly glances, his dark eyes glinting in a way Gaara wasn't too fond of. All this wasn't really meaningful to Gaara but just because the renewed friendship seemed to make Naruto happier, he was ready to see Kiba in a bit more positive light.

A few days ago, Kankuro had had a slight episode and Gaara had found him in the bathroom, arms bloody and shaking. The old, familiar guilt had shined in the brunette's eyes, silently apologizing for everything that had happened in their broken home. Gaara had reminded Kankuro again that slashing wasn't a solution but the brunette had just mumbled in a trembling voice something along the lines that he deserved it. The encounter had been nothing too serious, for Gaara had managed to resolve the situation by talking whereas Kankuro's wounds had only needed bandaging. It reminded him that his brother needed help but whenever he tried to voice out his concern, the conversation was quickly ended by Kankuro.

For the most of the time, Kankuro seemed to be calm and collected but Gaara could sense that under the surface, his brother kept on fighting some internal battle. Sometimes it was hard even for him to read his brother, for it was like Kankuro had many layers on him, hiding and disguising what he didn't want anyone to see. Gaara wished he could somehow help but every time he tried to approach his brother in a moment of unstability—no matter how much Kankuro tried to hide his weakness—his brother seemed to force on a mask, once again hiding everything.

And somewhere along the way, Gaara had turned 17. It was now the end of January, the coldest period of the winter. Occasionally, he teased Naruto for still being 16, because the blond's birthday wasn't until October. Time flew fast. Ever since he was 14 and the abuse had started, he had kept on waiting for his 18th birthday, for then he would be an adult and no one could tell him what to do. He was quite confident that then, his brother would let him go. All he needed was to wait just another year...

"I hope you're content with the outcome," Gaara said as he finished cutting. Every time he had a chance to cut hair his thoughts got loose, just like this time. But some things wouldn't get any better no matter how much you thought about them.

Naruto got up from the chair and stepped to stand in front of a mirror. He turned his head from side to side, evaluating the outcome. Then a wide grin appeared to his face and he turned to Gaara, giving a thumbs up. "It's great! I think you should become a barber or something!"

The corners of Gaara's mouth curved slightly at the encouraging words. Naruto always managed to increase his self-confidence just by little words like that. The whole way Naruto treated him made him feel appreciated and loved. Any other person could've taken it as given but Gaara, who wasn't used to the fact that his opinions and feelings really mattered, noticed the difference immediately.

--

"Don't I look great now?" Naruto asked as he stood in front of a mirror, smiling at his reflection.

He was wearing a tight orange T-shirt and black jeans, bringing out his slim body. There were a couple of chains hanging from the loops of his jeans to increase the punkish outlook. The reason why he was dressed in such a way was that Kiba had asked him to go to a party with him in order to celebrate their renewed friendship, with an addition that they would be going without Gaara. At first Naruto had opposed, telling that Gaara would be hurt if he wasn't even asked to join them. With a sharp look in his eyes, Kiba had snapped that then it would be better if Gaara wouldn't know in the first place. In the end, Naruto had agreed but the guilt of keeping even a little thing from Gaara still plagued him. Looking at his own reflection and forcing a smile onto his face, Naruto tried to dissolve the guilt and turned to see his friend.

"You bet," Kiba answered as he looked at the blond with an animalistic glint in his eyes. He was more than glad that the annoying redhead wasn't around this time. In his opinion, there was no need to inform the freak about anything anyway, because very soon the redhead would learn that Naruto wanted to rather hang around with him, Kiba.

"Let's go then," Naruto said, smiling.

In no time they were at the party, talking with Shikamaru and Neji. Everyone was in such a happy mood but under the surface, Naruto felt guilty for having ignored his other friends for so long. To tell the truth, he had let Gaara consume all his freetime because really, he didn't feel like being with anyone else. The friends' chat was soon over as Neji excused himself to spend more time with his girlfriend and as Shikamaru left too, to hit on some pretty boys—or girls, since he liked both.

"Here, take a beer," Kiba said, offering a can to Naruto.

"I don't know. I've never really drank anything like that before," Naruto replied, eyeing the can of beer suspiciously.

"Come on! Everyone else is drinking, too. You'll look weird if you don't. Or are you telling me that you're a sissy who doesn't have the courage?" Kiba asked, an animalistic grin once again on his lips. He could see the internal battle Naruto was having and as he had expected, the blond soon snapped the can out of his hand.

"I'm not a sissy!" Naruto exclaimed and sipped the beer. He didn't want to stand out from the crowd now, when all his life he'd desperately tried to blend in.

"Of course you're not," Kiba said and took a gulp of his own drink. He didn't like the taste of alcohol at all but in these kind of situations, he drank a little just to give a carefree and cool impression.

After few cans, Naruto was feeling a bit tipsy. "Kiba, I feel different now. It's like I'm very relaxed or something," he informed his friend, who looked at him amusedly.

"Alcohol does that to you. Here, take another one," Kiba offered, draping a new can towards the blond.

"But I don't know if I should drink anymore. What if something happens?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes not sharp anymore but hazy because of the liquor.

"Nothing will happen. I'll take care of you," Kiba assured and grinned again, his narrow eyes reminding Naruto a bit of a hungry wolf.

"Okay," Naruto replied happily, smiling warmly to his trusted friend.

--

"I'm going to the party now. Are you sure you don't want to come?" Kankuro asked even though he already knew the answer.

"No. I don't care about things like that," Gaara replied stoically. "Besides, I have a lot of homework to do."

"Whatever you say. Bye now," Kankuro said, feeling that he at least needed to get out of the oppressing house they inhabited. He didn't care about parties either but he needed to go, so that his image of a social and normal person would stay in the minds of other people.

At the party, Kankuro was sitting on a couch in the corner, talking with his so-called friends and looking as people made fools of themselves. A clearly drunk, pink haired girl was clinging onto his arm, trying to get his attention yet she only managed to annoy him. He knew her, she came quite often to the café with her annoying, giggling friends. The girl was probably one of those silly teenagers who actually thought he liked them, just because he smiled at them and occasionally flirted with them, only in order to increase the café's sales profit. God how he hated his job sometimes.

He was already bored to no end until a mop of blond hair caught his attention. He saw a brown haired guy dragging Naruto to the upstairs and judging by the blondie's wobbly legs, he wasn't sober. Stupid, Kankuro thought and excused himself.

Silently like a cat, Kankuro followed them and climbed up the stairs, entering a hallway which lead to many rooms. One door was ajar and making sure that no one saw him, he peeked inside. The blondie was lying on the bed while the other guy was hovering over him, not letting Naruto to get up. Stupid blondie, Kankuro thought, remaining in his stance.

"What are you doing Kiba?" Naruto asked, not fully registering everything what was happening.

"I'm going to make you forget that freak," Kiba murmured quietly and lightly traced his hand along Naruto's body. In this state, the blond would be an easy prey.

"What?" Naruto asked, not hearing what his friend had said. He tried to get up but was pushed down onto the bed again.

"I said that I'll make you feel good," Kiba now said in a gently voice, pulling up the orange shirt. Naruto's confused expression only deepened and then Kiba knew that the blond was too baffled to stop him. Smiling more warmly now, Kiba started to uzip Naruto's jeans. He had waited for this so long that he could barely contain himself. After tonight, Naruto would be his and the red haired freak would be forgotten. It wasn't fair that Naruto never smiled to him like he smiled to the weird redhead. After all, he had been Naruto's friend way longer than the annoying freak.

For about a year now, Kiba had tried to give hints to Naruto about his warm feelings. However, the blond was so dense he never seemed to notice and that had gotten Kiba very frustrated. He wasn't a man of sentimental words or romantic confessions so he had approached Naruto in other ways, like buying him presents and sitting close to him at classes. When those means hadn't worked, he had even held Naruto's hand while they were walking but to no avail. For Naruto, it had clearly been just a gesture of friendship.

And then had come the red haired loner who had quickly gotten Naruto's attention, the attention that Kiba thought belonged rightfully to only himself. It made him sick of jealousy whenever he saw the two together. What had the freak ever done to deserve someone like Naruto? Nothing, in Kiba's opinion. He had thought of teaching a lesson to the redhead but had given up the idea, knowing that Naruto would only be mad at him. For surely, the blond would be babying the freaky redhead after something like that, giving him even more attention, and that was something Kiba wanted to avoid. The bitter thoughts made Kiba even more annoyed and hurt and he yanked Naruto's jeans lower a bit too forcefully, not really meaning to be so rough.

"Stop," Naruto snapped as he blurrily realized what Kiba was doing. As his friend gripped his limp member, his drunkenness cleared a bit, thanks to his shock over the situation. He tried to get up again but it was in vain. "Kiba, no," Naruto managed but the only answer he got was a hungry smirk which didn't quite match the lonely desperation clearly reflecting from his friend's eyes.

"If I were you, I'd leave him alone," came a voice from the doorway. There stood a livid Kankuro, staring daggers at the brown haired boy.

"Who the hell are you? Can't you see we're busy!?" Kiba barked, angry that they'd been caught like this. However, he quickly pulled his hands away from Naruto and jumped off of the bed.

"Kankuro?" Naruto asked, now even more surprised. What was Gaara's brother doing in here?

"Leave," Kankuro growled, taking a step closer to the brown haired guy. He was disgusted. Why did he see things like this everywhere he went? Why couldn't he have even one carefree evening in his life without being reminded about the dark and greedy side of human nature?

"Make me. And who are you to interrupt us, anyway?" Kiba replied defensively, as he, too, stepped closer.

"Leave now or I'm going to tell the host of this party that you were going to rape one of the guests!" Kankuro almost shouted, clenching his fists. He had had enough of this already, and all he wanted to do was get out of the situation.

That got Kiba serious and his face visibly paled as his anger was replaced by fear. Without another word, he quickly left to the door like a dog who had his tail between his legs. There, he glanced one more time to the blond still lying on the bed. He hadn't meant to hurt Naruto but if the blond had noticed his feelings, he wouldn't have had to force himself on him. An angry look from the older man got him back to reality again and quietly but quickly, he left the room.

"Now get your clothes properly on so that we can leave," Kankuro snapped at the blondie who was staring at him with blurry eyes.

"O-oh!" Naruto said, pulling down his shirt and making sure that his jeans weren't unzipped anymore. Now that his drunkenness was slowly fading away, there was room for embarrassement. He was more than ashamed that Kankuro had seen him defenseless, almost shirtless, and with another guy groping him against his own will.

"Come on, I'll drive you home," Kankuro said, not bothering to be friendly. He was annoyed that Naruto had caused him extra worry with his thoughtlessness.

Naruto followed Gaara's brother as they left the party, not seeing even a trace of Kiba on their way. It hurt him that his friend—and Kiba of all people—had taken advantage of him in such a horrible way.

"Now get in," Kankuro said and held the car door open for Naruto. As soon as the blondie was in, he slammed the door shut with unnecessary force. He knew he had no real reason to take his anger out on Naruto but seeing those things happen only reminded him of all the things he would rather forget. Out of habit, he glanced around the dark yard and on the border, he saw a suspicious looking man lurking in the shadows. Brow furrowing, he went closer and familiar anger rose in him again as he regocnized the long, blond haired male.

Naruto looked out of the car window and saw Kankuro talking to a man he had never seen before. He at first took the encounter as friends' chat but as he distantly heard Kankuro shouting something, he thought otherwise. As the long haired stranger only smirked in reply, Naruto saw the brunette grip his front in a threatening manner. That seemed to get the strange man serious and after that, the intruder left.

"You stay away from that man," was all Kankuro said as he got to the driver's seat, starting the car and pulling off from the yard. To Naruto, the brunette looked suddenly much more tired than before, and there were almost unnoticable lines under his eyes, reminding Naruto of a person with lots of worries.

"Okay... but who was he anyway?" Naruto asked, his drunkenness fading away minute by minute.

"It doesn't matter," Kankuro said sternly, ending the conversation about the topic. He concentrated on driving, enjoying the moment of silence and peace. Naruto's earlier stupidness annoyed him, yet he couldn't fully blame the blondie. He knew how naïve the blond was but it didn't stop him from being sore. "Who was that boy?"

"He's Kiba, my friend. Or should I say, my ex-friend," Naruto replied, looking sadly at his lap. He had had no idea that Kiba harboured such feelings for him but now that he knew, it explained quite a bit of his ex-friend's behavior towards Gaara. A silence fell upon them again and to Naruto, it felt awkward. He was just about to open his mouth when Kankuro suddenly spoke.

"You do realize how stupid it is to get drunk at a party like that?" Kankuro said, keeping his eyes on the road. Who knew what would've happened if he hadn't been there to save the blondie? He was so tired of all this, exhausted.

"I'm sorry," Naruto said, a blush of embarrassement coming to his cheeks. "I mean... thanks for everything."

Kankuro didn't answer, for he didn't need or want the blondie's gratitude. Even though he disliked Naruto and wanted him out of Gaara's life, there was no reason to let the blondie get scarred for life just because some brown haired boy couldn't control his urges. After a few minutes of silent driving, they arrived at their neighbourhood. Kankuro parked on Naruto's front yard and stalled the car.

"Did you tell Gaara that you were going there?" Kankuro asked, turning to look at the blondie.

"No," Naruto confessed, already feeling guilty that he hadn't.

"Good. And you shouldn't tell him, okay? There's no need to worry him with your thoughtlessness because in the end, nothing really happened, right?" Kankuro assured and for the first time, he looked friendly at Naruto.

"Okay," Naruto said, even though he didn't totally agree.

It was dark outside but in the car, lights were on. Kankuro turned away, looking at his reflection from the windshield. He let out a sigh and faced the blondie again, this time with a softer expression than before. "Look, I'm sorry what happened earlier between us," Kankuro said, sounding almost guilty.

"Huh?" Naruto exclaimed, dumbfounded at the confession. He blushed as he remembered what had happened back then. The sincere sorryness in the black eyes made something tighten in his chest and he nodded, feeling that Gaara's brother was probably a good and nice person, after all. Everyone made mistakes, didn't they? "It's okay," Naruto said, giving the brunette a small, warm smile.

Kankuro only replied with a smile of his own which wasn't so warm but rather a smirk, but to Naruto it was a gesture of friendliness anyway. "Look, Naruto," Kankuro started in a gentle voice, his black eyes friendly once again. "Please don't tell Gaara that we talked, don't even tell him I gave you a ride home, okay? He doesn't appreciate you being near me after 'that incident', even though you now know how much I regret it," Kankuro said with a pleading expression. After a brief silence, he continued. "He would only be mad at me, even though I only have the best of intensions," Kankuro finally said in a depressed voice, his eyes cast downwards.

"I won't tell him," Naruto was quick to assure, not wanting to see Kankuro so dispirited.

"Good," Kankuro replied quietly, staring out of the windshield.

The silence fell again and Naruto took it as a sign of the end of their conversation. Just when he was about to leave, all the doors locked, thanks to the central locking system. A bit scared, he turned to look at Kankuro who didn't look so friendly anymore.

"Kankuro?" Naruto said, not sure if he should be afraid or not. Just a moment ago, the brunette had been so nice but now, his expression made chills run down on Naruto's spine.

A smirk appearead on Kankuro's face at the blondie's reaction. The boy was surely amusing and if it had fit to his plans, he would've certainly played with him a little longer. Now though, he had other things to do and so the smirk vanished, leaving a serious look on Kankuro's face.

"Naruto," he said in order to get the blondie's full attention. "I don't know what your relationship with Gaara is but if you hurt him, I'll never forgive you," Kankuro said, dead serious, as his black eyes were boring holes into Naruto.

"I would never!" Naruto exclaimed, shocked that someone even thought of the possibility.

"You better not," Kankuro replied and unlocked the doors, knowing his job here was already done. He amusedly watched as the blondie hurried out of the car, thanked him for the ride and then stumbled into the house. As he was now alone, Kankuro let the smirk appear on his face again, letting out a self-assured laugh. Pulling off from Naruto's yard, he drove home, still smiling to himself.

--

"How was it at the party?" Gaara asked, even though he wasn't really interested.

"It was okay," Kankuro replied and opened the refrigerator door. He took a bottle and as if he'd just remembered an important thing, he casually said, "I saw the blondie there."

"Naruto?" Gaara asked, now more interested than ever.

"Yeah. He was there with some brown haired guy who had weird tattoos on his cheeks," Kankuro explained, taking a gulp of the cool drink. As he felt Gaara's eyes on him, impatiently waiting for him to continue, he knew his time had come.

"The blondie was all over that guy, you should've seen them! At some point during the night they went to get a room so I don't know what happened after that," Kankuro lied casually, trying not to smirk as he saw the look on Gaara's face.

"Hn," was all Gaara said, careful at not giving out how close he and Naruto nowadays were. He shouldn't act too interested, that would reveal everything! After all, he was sure that his brother had the impression that they were only friends. His first reaction was to deny what he'd heard—there was no way Naruto would do anything like that.

After the moment of confidence, doubt crept into his mind and he started to hesitate. What if it was true? No, it couldn't be! But what if Naruto really was bored with him, seeking out for Kiba because of that? But Naruto had said he loved him. That wasn't a lie, it couldn't be. Naruto had always been patient with him, he had told him they didn't need to hurry. Then again, Kankuro was always so impatient, what if Naruto was secretly, too? Would Naruto really do something like that behind his back?

Kankuro's hidden smirk vanished at the indifferent reply. Taking another gulp of the drink, he put the bottle aside and stepped a bit closer to Gaara. "It makes me wonder why you weren't there with him, since you two seem to get along so well these days," Kankuro said provokingly.

Gaara only glared at him, honestly not knowing what to answer. Naruto hadn't asked him... He hadn't even known that the blond was going anywhere, not to mention with Kiba. But it's not my business, anyway, Gaara thought to himself, trying not to make any hasty conclusions. He and Naruto were together, Naruto wouldn't mess around with Kiba.

"Or maybe he didn't even tell you?" Kankuro said, his smirk melting into a vile grin. "Maybe he wanted to go without you."

"What does it matter?" Gaara asked, growing irritated because of his brother's suggestions and his own uncertainty.

"It just proves that I am right, that I've always been. How many times have I told you that you can't trust anyone except me?" Kankuro asked, his tone of voice turning from casual to irritated. He hadn't forgotten the hug he'd witnessed, not to mention what he'd seen them do in Naruto's house. For two weeks now, he had kept on acting like he didn't suspect a thing. It was pretty tiring and did no good for his mental balance.

"I can trust Temari... and Naruto," Gaara replied but didn't sound as confident as he wanted to.

"You can't trust her, you know what she's like," Kankuro replied isntantly, until his eyes narrowed and he stepped closer to Gaara. "Have you talked to her?"

"N-No!" Gaara said quickly, taking a few steps back until his back met with the kitchen sink.

"You better not," Kankuro said threateningly. He didn't like the idea of Temari getting wind of their... secret. Shaking off the unpleasant thought, he directed his attention back to Gaara again. "You can't trust the blondie, either. Weren't you hugging him back then?" he asked, leaning closer to the redhead.

Jade eyes widened, revealing Gaara's uneasiness over the topic. He feverishly tried to think of another topic, just to distract his brother from thinking too deeply of that hug. But before he could say anything, the brunette was already talking.

"So it makes me wonder why he was now all over that other guy. Don't you think so, too?" Kankuro asked, placing his hands on either side of Gaara, trapping the redhead between himself and the sink.

"I trust Naruto," Gaara said confidently, trying to keep the hesitation out of his mind. He couldn't lose his trust, he just couldn't. Desperately, he denied what his brother had said, hoping that there would be some logical explanation that would prove Naruto innocent.

"You're still so naïve, Gaara," Kankuro whispered, staring down at the redhead. "You trusted Yashamaru, didn't you? And now look what he would have done to you, if it hadn't been me stopping him. You trusted Temari, too but where is she now? When has she called you last time?" Kankuro asked and seeing Gaara's face, he let out a bitter laugh. "That's what I thought. And Naruto... Do you have any proof that he's worthy of your trust?"

Gaara didn't know how to answer. Proof? He had Naruto's words. Naruto cared about him. Didn't that mean anything?

"I have proof that he's not worthy of your trust. I saw them, everybody did! Or if you don't believe me, why don't you just ask Naruto? Or that brown haired guy, hm?" Kankuro went on, desperately wanting to crumble the redhead's trust on the annoying blondie.

"Don't be stupid," Gaara said. Asking Kiba about this was the last thing he'd do. Asking Naruto was out of question, too, because what if it all was true? Would he stand hearing the confession from Naruto, who was now his boyfriend?

"I'm not the stupid one but you," Kankuro snapped, irritated that it was so hard to make Gaara believe in his lies. It had been so much easier before... "Why can't you see that I'm on your side, that I'm only protecting you from getting hurt—again? Look, if I didn't care, I wouldn't have told you and I would've let you find out everything on your own. I thought you already knew that I am the only person who's truly cared about you and your well-being, haven't I proved that many times already? I'm the only one you can trust because I've never betrayed you and I never will. I love you, Gaara," Kankuro spoke heatedly, desperatedly, looking straight into the glistening jade orbs.

Before Gaara had even a chance to reply, hands found their way into his hair and right after, he was being kissed. It was a desperate kiss, unexpected, full of need and tension. Gaara turned his head away, escaping the kiss—he didn't want this, he couldn't. This was wrong.

"He doesn't deserve you. I do! I'd die for you," Kankuro whispered, making Gaara face him again and then continued the interrupted kiss.

"No..." Gaara managed to say, breaking the kiss again. It didn't feel the same as with Naruto, it felt impure. "I have to go and think," he said quickly, pushing his brother away and leaving the kitchen.

--

The little lamp on the bedside table cast threatening shadows on the walls, leaving some paintings in the dark while emphasizing the others. The grotesque pictures were grimacing down on him, like they were laughing at his pitifulness.

Gaara hugged his knees tighter, thinking about the recent conversation. He had come to a conclusion that it didn't matter whether Kankuro had told the truth or not. He really hadn't the right to complain or feel hurt if Naruto cheated on him, for wasn't he just doing the exact same with his own brother?

Disgusted, Gaara gripped his hair, letting out a frustrated growl. He was cheating on Naruto this whole time... Naruto trusted him and was patient with him, yet behind the blond's back he was with his brother, no matter if he was willing to do it or not. He was sure that Naruto would never look at him again if the blond found out about the truth. So no, he really had no right to feel hurt. Still, he felt so bad he could almost vomit.

--

"Ah... Kankuro."

Gaara had tried his everything to get rid of the haunting thoughts—he had painted, finished his homework, cleaned his room, listened to music, stared at the ceiling and even tried to sleep but nothing had eased him. In the end he had come to the livingroom where Kankuro had been sitting on the couch, channel surfing.

"Oh, Gaara... I'm about to—"

He had sat down on the couch, finding his brother's silent company oddly calming. Seeking for comfort, he had leaned against Kankuro, hoping that the contact would ease his anxiousness. They had sat like that for a long time, watching random shows and filling the quiet of the house with the meaningless TV noise. Gently, Kankuro had smoothed his hair as if understanding his pain. It had felt so good and comforting. At some point Kankuro had turned off the TV, leaving them sitting in silence until he had lied down on the couch, ignoring the redhead and staring at the ceiling like he was deep in thought.

Wanting more of the pleasant comforting, Gaara had moved to lay on top of Kankuro to get his full attention, letting his brother caress his back in a gentle manner. It had felt like Kankuro understood him and listened to him, even though he didn't speak with words but with silence. His brother's scent had given him a sense of safety, relaxing him until he hadn't noticed or cared when one hand had slid under his shirt and then after a while, lower...

"Haah... I'm so close, Gaara!"

And now he was naked, sitting on his brother's lap, moving up and down. Kankuro was holding his hips, guiding him and looking at him with his black, lusty eyes. Gaara let out a moan, his grip on Kankuro's sweaty shoulders tightening. This felt good, this had to! It was so much easier to bear this when he thought how pleasurable this was. He didn't want to think about Naruto, yet he still thought and at that moment, he had to close his eyes so that he wouldn't cry.

"Haah!" Kankuro almost shouted, pushing Gaara down as he came. As soon as his grip loosened, Gaara got up and with wobbly legs, ran into the bathroom.

The first thing Gaara did was vomit into the toilet. He felt so bad, so sick! Why had he let it happen again? Was he now cheating Naruto purposely, because he hadn't opposed but submitted like a soulless doll? He was shaking as he wiped his mouth and managed to get into the shower to clean himself. As soon as the shower was on, he collapsed onto the floor, still shaking, letting the warm water wet him.

"Gaara are you alright?" Kankuro asked even though he knew that his little brother was everything but alright. Hurriedly, he kneeled beside the trembling redhead and instantly pulled him into a hug and held him, letting both of them calm down a bit. He was worried at seeing his beloved little brother like this and he had a nagging fear that this was all his fault.

But what could he do to his own feelings, his need of loving Gaara like this? This far, he had lived in a self-imposed illusion that their relationship would last forever but now as he held the shocked redhead, reality was sinking in. Pushing his own fear and shock away, Kankuro braced himself to act like an adult. After all, he had always had to be an adult—or at least very mature—for Gaara's sake. He had never really had a chance to be a child, and without bitterness he thought that for Gaara's sake, he was always ready to sacrifice himself.

"Kankuro... I d-don't feel good," Gaara managed to say, trying to suppress a retch.

"It's alright, calm down. You have to stop hanging around with him, look what he's doing to you," Kankuro said, caressing the wet, pale skin. It felt unfair to make it look like this was all Naruto's fault but if it made Gaara leave him, then it was worth trying.

"H-He doesn't make me s-sick," Gaara stuttered, his sickness not easing at all. "This has to e-end, now." It was hard to speak, especially those words.

A coldness filled Kankuro, coldness that was akin to fear. "Shh, you're shocked right now, okay? It's normal to be confused at a moment like this. Everything will be alright after you calm down, I promise," Kankuro spoke gently, giving Gaara an assuring squeeze. After that the redhead stayed quiet and Kankuro let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

The rest of the evening Kankuro took good care of Gaara, making him supper and talking gently to him. He had supressed the uncomfortable, fear-like feeling, assuring himself that Gaara wasn't going to abandon him. That just couldn't happen. They were now sitting on the couch again and Gaara was holding a cup of hot cocoa in his hands while Kankuro was trying to entwine a blanket around his little brother.

"Are you feeling any better?" Kankuro asked, worry clear in his eyes.

Gaara stayed silent, looking at the steaming cup in front of him. After a moment, he found his voice. "I... I don't think we should do it, anymore."

"What do you mean, Gaara? Everything's alright now, you don't need to think things like that," Kankuro tried, avoiding the actual subject. The look in the jade eyes comfirmed his fears and suddenly, everything felt so dark and hopeless.

"Gaara, you have no idea how black my world is. You're the only light I see. And... and showing my love to you reminds me that I'm capable of being a good person, that I'm not thoroughly rotten. When you're near me I feel like there's at least some hope for me," Kankuro spoke in a quiet and unsteady voice. He wasn't looking at Gaara anymore but at some invisible spot in the distance, biting his finger nails.

"You're not rotten," Gaara corrected, sipping the warm drink. "I just meant that maybe we could stop doing it. We could do other things instead," he continued, feeling the tension rise in the room.

"You don't get it, Gaara! You mean everything to me! Without you, there's no reason for me to live! If you break the bond between us, you'll leave me alone in the darkness. Do you really want that?" Kankuro exclaimed almost hysterically, his eyes reddening. He never cried, and Gaara had learned from him that it was how men were supposed to act.

"No," Gaara cringed, worried about the sudden turn of conversation. On the other hand, he didn't want to see his brother anguished like that. Then again, he felt really bad about their secret doings. Buying more time to think, he drank a bit of the cocoa. From the corner of his eye, he could see his brother still biting his finger nails, a thing the brunette rarely did unless he was distressed. "But we could make a compromise," Gaara then suggested carefully.

"A compromise? You still don't get it! I need you, how can you compromise that?" Kankuro yelled desperatedly, his eyes now even more red than before.

"Maybe... maybe we just shouldn't... so often?" Gaara suggested quietly, putting the now empty cup onto the coffee table.

Slowly, Kankuro turned to look at Gaara, his expression full of suspicion. "Why?" he asked quietly, almost hissing. Then his eyes narrowed. "Is it because of Naruto? Is there something going on that I don't know about?" Kankuro asked, acting like he really didn't know about anything.

Gaara gritted his teeth, not liking the sudden turn of conversation. He had just wanted to stop all this and when it hadn't worked, he'd tried to compromise and now, he feared that his brother would find out about him and Naruto. "There's nothing going on," he then said, willing his voice to stay steady even though it cracked a bit in the end.

Kankuro stared at the serious pale face. So that was what his little brother looked like when he lied to him. There was a sting in his heart but he pushed the ache away into the depths of his mind, to there where all his other pains were carefully locked up.

"Then there's no reason to change anything," Kankuro concluded and when Gaara didn't reply, he took it as a sign of agreement and left the room.

In his own room, Kankuro turned on the stereos. He didn't remember what CD was in, so he chose the track randomly, hoping it was something calming. When the music started, he lied down onto the bed and closed his eyes. What a day had it been...

Soundly, the mattress sank as another person came to lay next to him. It wasn't a surprise, for Kankuro had learned that Gaara often had this need of making sure that things were settled.

"You wouldn't have needed to come," Kankuro said. "Everything is alright."

"No it isn't," Gaara whispered and wrapped his arm around the brunette. He didn't want Kankuro to be angry at him. He didn't want his brother to hate him, to abandon him...

Without answering, Kankuro let out a deep breath and listened to the singer.

"Come into my life
Regress into a dream
We will hide
And build a new reality"

Oh how he wanted to hide, hide himself and his past. Maybe then all the things he'd done wouldn't be so wrong, wouldn't be so terrifying. And how it would feel purifying to start a new life! But he couldn't, it was just impossible. There were no second chances for people like him.

"Kankuro?" Gaara mumbled. He had lied his head against his brother's chest, listening to the steady heartbeat.

"It's okay," Kankuro whispered. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be. It was me who collapsed," Gaara said quietly. Maybe the fight was really his fault, anyway. Everything would've been okay if he hadn't run into the bathroom. Now that he thought back the incident, it felt embarrassing.

"I... I love you, no matter what," Gaara whispered, closing his eyes. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to confess the feelings that his brother already knew. Maybe it was because of his own insecurity, or the loneliness that filled his soul whenever Kankuro left him alone after a fight.

"Why?" Kankuro asked so quietly that the voice didn't reach the redhead's ears. He didn't deserve that kind of love, not from Gaara. He was a monster who should be unloved, not treated like a real person.

"And I've had recurring nightmares
That I was loved for who I am
And missed the opportunity
To be a better man."

The song ended but Kankuro let out a bitter laugh. Would he be a better person if Gaara hated him? If Gaara really hated him, would he strive more than now to earn his brother's love? On some level, he could understand why his little brother was now glued to him, not wanting to let go, when in reality Gaara should yell at him and hate him for what he had done, again.

Kankuro closed his eyes and hoped that when he'd open them the next time, this all would've just been a horrible nightmare. It was an impossible wish, he knew it, but he dreamed so nevertheless. In his dreams he was the perfect big brother he'd always wanted to be for Gaara, instead of being this twisted, sick and unstable monster he in reality was.

He knew it was his fault that Gaara had that guilt inside of him, that shame of submitting to his older brother's twisted kinks. He himself had planted that guilt inside of the redhead, so that after all their fights, Gaara would come crawling back to him, obedient and hungry for love and peace. Even now, the redhead was glued to him, waiting for him to smile again and act like a normal brother, to mark that their recent fight was already forgotten.

Nevertheless of all this, Gaara still loved him. Oh how that knowledge hurt Kankuro, for he knew he didn't deserve any of that. He wondered which one would hurt him more, Gaara's hate or Gaara's love. Which one would hurt more—hate deserved or love not deserved?

--

Sunday came, offering a lot of empty time to mull over things Gaara rather didn't think about. At school on Monday, Naruto was like always even though Gaara could sense that something was bothering the blond. He ignored it, not wanting to give room to his fears and the worst case scenarios he'd come up with. Tuesday came, then Wednesday and Thursday, and on each day Gaara refused to be with Naruto after school. For excuse he had mumbled something about a big pile of homework waiting for him at home. In reality, he was afraid that if they were alone, Naruto would find the courage to tell him that their dream was over.

Now it was Friday and they were walking home from school, again.

"Let's hang around today, what do you think?" Naruto suggested, flashing a friendly smile at the redhead in order to hide his insecurity. He feared that Gaara would reject him again for no actual reason. He couldn't understand why the redhead was suddenly so distant. All kind of suspicions bubbled inside of Naruto, starting from Gaara abandoning him but he did his best to hide them under his sunny optimism.

"No. I have a lot of homework to do," Gaara said his now customary answer. What if Naruto was going to some party with Kiba again this weekend and wanted to dump him before that, so that the blond could flirt with the brunette without bad conscience?

Despite his firm refusal, later on that day the ever happy blond was standing at his door, smiling warmly at him.

"I thought I'd stop by," Naruto told as he walked in. As he met the redhead's impassive stare, his grin widened and he said friendly, "I know you missed me too."

Almost unnoticably, the corners of Gaara's mouth curved up. Now that the blond was here, it felt like the whole house was more lighter and warmer. The sheer friendliness radiating from Naruto eased him and almost hopefully, he thought that maybe all this time, he had worried in vain.

"I have something to show you," was all Gaara said as he decided to lead Naruto into the underground cellar. Up until now, he had kept the blond oblivious about his chilly sanctuary. He wasn't sure why now of all times he chose to show this side of his life—maybe it was just sheer desperation that motivated him, a secret wish to show someone the place that held so much importance to him.

Climbing down the stairs, Naruto followed Gaara into the dimly lit cellar. The first thing he noticed were the numerous paintings on the walls, reminding him of icons of some demonic church. He didn't even flinch as he eyed the pictures of murder, torture and death but his compassion towards his boyfriend increased every second. What on earth posessed the redhead to paint things like these?

"You're really talented! Have you ever thought of selling these? You could became a famous artist, who knows," Naruto said cheerfully, smiling to the redhead. He was so used to hiding everything under his sunny composure that even at a moment like this, it came naturally.

Gaara only snorted and almost smiled, thinking why anyone would want to buy pictures so grotesque as his paintings were. Still, he was relieved that Naruto took this part of his life so well.

Naruto looked at the paintings again, one by one, until his eyes hit one particual picture that was in the corner of the room and facing the wall. "Oh, here's yet one," he said aloud and turned the picture, just in time to see Gaara tense and open his mouth.

His eyes widened as he took in the painting. Of all things, this he hadn't expected to see... On the rich blue background, there was a smiling boy with golden hair and bright blue eyes. The matted skin shone like silk and the orange shirt brought out the tan color of it. The whisker-like scars on his cheeks were unmistakeable. Even though the colors were cold it was the warmest picture Naruto had ever seen, for it had been painted with a deep feeling.

"You painted a picture of me," was all Naruto could say as he directed his attention to the artist. Gaara nodded to him, clearly waiting what he thought about it. "It's beautiful," Naruto spoke, still looking at the redhead. The jade eyes softened as Gaara looked at him gently and Naruto wondered if the redhead had had that same, tender expression when he had painted the portrait. "Heh, you painted a picture of me after all!" Naruto exclaimed, grinning. The at first so crumpy Gaara had really painted a picture of him!

"I'm glad you like it," was all Gaara said as he sat down onto the bed as if a large amount of stress had been lifted off of shoulders. To tell the truth, he wasn't sure how to act, now that he'd let Naruto into his sanctuary.

"Sure I do," Naruto replied and sat next to his boyfriend. His spirits sank as he remembered Kiba. Was it really necessary to not tell Gaara, as Kankuro had told him? But what if Gaara would be mad at him? What if Gaara wouldn't believe him but thought he had betrayed him? It had taken so long to get this far with the redhead and Naruto feared he would ruin everything. Then again, Gaara had actually painted a portrait of him, a picture full of feelings. Gaara had never said aloud that he loved him but now, he was sure of the redhead's feelings. Encouraged, Naruto started to speak.

"Something has been bothering me..."

Under the surface, Gaara shuddered of the fear that was slowly filling him. He had a vague idea where this was going. "What is it?"

"You know, last weekend..." Naruto began, looking at the floor. Who would've believed how embarrassing it was to tell what had happened? But surely he could tell Gaara and now that he'd started, he wasn't going to back off. "Last weeked I was in a party with Kiba."

Gaara wondered if it was possible for the temperature to suddenly drop dramatically, because judging by the cold feeling that was threatening to drown him, it sure felt like it. Was this it, now? Was Naruto going to dump him? Fearing that his feelings were shining through his eyes, Gaara kept his eyes on the floor.

"And I drank too much beer there," Naruto confessed.

Something tightened on Gaara's chest. Was Naruto going to blame his drunkenness for being with Kiba? Gaara didn't say anything because he didn't trust his own voice.

"And... And then Kiba led me to the upstairs and... he tried to get advantage of me!" Naruto finally told, his gaze glued to the floor. He knew he was blushing from shame but he hoped no one would witness it.

"What!? That's horrible!" Gaara said, snapping out of his thoughts and turning to look at the blond. Unsure what to do, he put a hand on Naruto's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Naruto gave him a thankful smile, although Gaara could detect sadness in it. Then he frowned, as he realized something. "Tried? What happened then?"

"Thankfully, I don't remember much of it. But your brother interrupted Kiba and saved me," Naruto explained, ashamed that he hadn't been able to defend himself back then.

"K-Kankuro?" Gaara stuttered, paling. At first, he didn't feel anything but confusion.

"Yeah, he was there. He was livid at Kiba and drove him away. After that, he was kind enough to drive me home," Naruto said.

"He drove you home..." Gaara repeated, some so far unnamed feeling growing inside of him. His brother had lied to him. Kankuro had lied to him about Naruto...

"Yep. He was very nice to me, he even apologized what happened at my home back then," Naruto said, smiling warmly to the redhead. "I think your brother is a very nice person, after all!"

Gaara stared at the smiling blond, trying to pick up all the pieces of the story. Something was missing. "Then why didn't you tell me all this until now?"

"Um, your brother told me not to. I'm not sure why, maybe he just didn't want to worry you," Naruto suspected, wondering why his boyfriend was suddenly so pale.

Gaara let out a bark of laughter, his eyes narrowing as he looked into the distance. Like hell didn't Kankuro want to worry him! He gritted his teeth as he remember the conversation he had had with him last weekend. How dared his brother lie to him like this? Gladly Kankuro wasn't at home right now but at work, otherwise he would've most likely gone to give him a piece of his angry mind.

"Uh... Is everything alright?" Naruto asked, noticing how tense Gaara was. The jade eyes turned to look at him and soon, the coldness withdrew and was replaced by warmness.

"I was just thinking," Gaara said, deciding that there was no need to tell what he had just figured out. Besides, he could never tell Naruto why Kankuro had tried to separate them. "You should stay away from Kiba. I'm gonna talk to him on Monday," Gaara then said, pulling Naruto into a hug. He knew from first-hand experience what it felt like to be taken advantage of, not that he could ever tell about it to anyone. Still, he wanted to show his sympathy for his precious blond.

"No, don't go! It's alright, believe me. I don't want you to get into trouble," Naruto was quick to say.

"If I see him, it won't be me who's in trouble," Gaara said coolly, holding Naruto protectively. If it was up to him, no one was going to hurt his precious person and get away with it.

"Please Gaara, let it be. It's just better to forget it," Naruto pleaded, his bright blue eyes shining like diamonds.

Gaara didn't reply, for he had already made up his mind. Instead, he caressed the blond locks, admiring how the soft light reflected from them. It felt so natural to be with Naruto and now that all the suspicions were cleared from his mind, he could admit to himself that he'd been missing this kind of closeness. If only Naruto wouldn't have to leave tonight... Then, an idea hit him. "Would you like to stay the night here?"

"Of course!" was the instant reply. Again, Naruto was smiling.

"We should go upstairs and eat something. I don't know about you but I'm hungry," Gaara said. In reality, he knew his brother would come home after an hour or two and when Kankuro would be in the house, he didn't want to be seen with Naruto.

"Sounds good. Is it okay to your brother that I stay the night?" Naruto asked, knowing how strict Kankuro was with these things.

"Yes," Gaara replied. Because we won't be telling him.

For supper they ate fruits and porridge, even though Naruto had of course at first asked if there were any instant ramen in the house. Then they showered—separately tough, for there were still lightly visible, white lines on Gaara's stomach resembling the kanji for 'love'. Besides, to Gaara the bathroom was full of bad memories and he didn't want to experience anything even remotedly sexual there with Naruto. Before Kankuro came home, they retreated back into the peace of the cellar. Just to be sure, Gaara had taken Naruto's shoes and coat from the hallway, taking them to the cellar with them so that Kankuro wouldn't see the evidence and tell Naruto to leave. Naruto had found his behavior weird and had asked him why Kankuro couldn't know that he was staying the night. Unable to find a reasonable reply, Gaara had just shrugged and stayed quiet until Naruto had stopped asking.

"I can't imagine how you can sleep in here!" Naruto said as he sat down onto the bed, shuddering with cold. He was ready to sleep, wearing only a T-shirt and tight boxers.

"I've gotten used to this," was all Gaara said. He was wearing his pajamas, not because he was cold but because they gave him a sense of security. He could hear his brother walking upstairs and he hoped that the brunette would just settle down and go to sleep. It occured to him just then that there was a chance that Kankuro could have an episode during the night. Also, there was a chance that Kankuro could come to the cellar door, seeking for forbidden closeness. Gaara shuddered. Hopefully, neither case would happen.

"I still think it's inhumanly cold in here, especially now that it's winter," Naruto said and lied down, pulling the cover over himself and shaking under the blanket. He looked at Gaara who seemed so concentrated on something he himself didn't have an idea of. He blushed as he thought that maybe tonight, Gaara would keep him warm.

As his brother's pacing stopped and it was quiet after that, Gaara was confident enough to turn off the lamp that was on the night table. He then settled next to Naruto and welcomed the warmness, even though the closeness made him a bit uncomfortable. How could it be that it was suddenly so hot in the cellar?

In the total blackness of the windowless cellar, a shivering Naruto inched closer to Gaara, seeking for warmth. Gaara let out a shaky breath as under the blanket, Naruto's cold hands fumbled along his body, searching him with touches because eyes couldn't see. Soon they were body against body, breaths mingling, just feeling each other.

Accidentally, or maybe innocently planned, their lips brushed and the contact soon turned into a tender kiss. To Gaara it felt so pure, so right. His precious blond had been faithful to him all this time. Naruto still loved him. And what had he done, in return? He had let Kankuro's evil lies taint his mind, causing him to avoid Naruto. And all this time, the blond had probably had no one to talk to about what had happened with Kiba. Gaara knew that feeling all too well, the feeling of not being able to tell anyone. Oh how he wanted to make it up but he wasn't sure how. He wanted to show Naruto how much he cared, how much he meant to him but he just didn't know how.

"Good night," Naruto whispered happily.

Gaara was desperate. It felt like time was running out. He didn't want to fall asleep without showing that he didn't take Naruto's presence granted. He wanted to prove himself worthy of Naruto's love, because just some hours ago he had doubted the blond's feelings.

"Naruto," Gaara said, engaging them into a kiss again, for it was the only thing he could think of doing. As he traced his tongue along Naruto's lower lip and the blond let out a surprised yet eager moan, it suddenly became very clear to Gaara what he could do to make everything up.

"Are you really sleepy?" Gaara whispered in the darkness, as he gently placed a kiss on Naruto's neck. As the blond's grip on him tightened, it encouraged him even more.

"Uh... G-Gaara," Naruto stuttered, not feeling sleepy at all anymore. As the redhead gently guided him, he turned to lay on his back. Due to the blackness, Naruto's sense of touch intensified and he could feel every probing and eager brush of Gaara's fingers and lips.

At first, he felt Gaara giving attention to his neck and collarbone. It sent pleasant shivers all over his body, exciting him like never before. Gaara was pulling up his T-shirt now but stopped, asking for his permission. "It's okay," Naruto whispered huskily and sat up, discarding himself of his T-shirt and throwing it away somewhere into the darkness. Soon Gaara's hands were on his bare chest, willing him to lie down again. The sweet touch of lips followed and Naruto gasped, realizing that Gaara was going down.

"Gaara? Are you sure?" Naruto asked, hoping they weren't going on too fast. The blissful touch of lips stopped just above his navel as Gaara lifted his head.

"Yes," Gaara whispered quietly, pressing his lips below Naruto's navel. He felt the blond's body tense as his hot breath hit against the sensitive skin. Sensually, he lowered the tight boxers and finally pulled them off, this all of course on Naruto's permission. He never wanted to hurt his precious Naruto, never.

Now lying naked on the bed, Naruto was staring into the pitch-black darkness, in the direction where he knew Gaara was. His hardened member was pulsing, almost painfully begging for release as some precum was dripping from the tip onto his stomach. He felt Gaara's warm hands caressing his tights and then hips, squeezing them. He gasped as the redhead's hot breath hit against his erection, hinting what was to come next.

"Ah—!" Naruto gasped as soft lips touched his hardened member. A wet tongue licked the tip, tasting him, and Naruto couldn't help but grab the sheets into his fists. Before he even knew it, his erection slid into the hot mouth and the tension in his body tenfolded.

"Haah..." Naruto moaned quietly, grabbing the sheets more forcefully. This was bliss, a salvation. If this really was a demon church, like he had playfully named the cellar just hours ago, then he was sure that Gaara was the high priest and what he was just experiencing, had to be the highest possible salvation. It felt so good that Naruto didn't even pay attention how Gaara took him in his mouth all the way, not even once gagging.

"Talk to me," Gaara whispered before resuming to his work. In the darkness he couldn't see a thing, so he needed Naruto's voice to keep some haunting memories at bay. He needed the voice to remind himself that he was now with Naruto and not with his brother. He wanted to please Naruto so much, yet he couldn't fully suppress the images that came into his mind.

"O-Okay," Naruto stuttered, his voice full of pleasure. "Please don't s-stop," he said, feeling the tension in his body increase before it would erupt.

The meaningless, lusty words Naruto managed to say aloud kept Gaara anchored at reality. He enjoyed when Naruto enjoyed, for this was the meaning of his life, wasn't it? To please others. Besides, after this there would be no way Naruto could be unsatisfied in a way or another. Gaara had still hard time believing that Naruto wasn't secretly impatient with him.

"Gaara... I'm going to... I'm going to—!" Naruto moaned, his body tensing.

As the warm, salty seed spilled into Gaara's mouth, he swallowed it out of habit. The incoherent, passionate groans of Naruto were like music to his ears and it made him happy that he had just been needed and wanted.

"Aah... G-Gaara," Naruto moaned now in a quieter voice as lights flashed in his eyes. He was drained and exhausted in so many ways but most of all, he felt satisfied and happy.

Also pleased, Gaara crawled to lay next to his precious Naruto. He was just about to draw the blanket over them as a sound came from the cellar door.

Knock, knock.

"Gaara?" came Kankuro's quiet, sleepless voice. The brunette had no idea that a certain blonde was also staying the night in the house.

Closing his eyes in frustration, Gaara sighed and then got up from the bed. He climbed up the stairs but didn't open the door.

"What?" Gaara asked back, his voice far from happy.

"Would you like to... sleep next to me tonight?" Kankuro asked, hesitating, as if voicing out his wish was illegal.

"Not now!" Gaara hissed, hoping that Naruto hadn't heard his brother's question.

"Why not? Come on, please," Kankuro continued in a pleading voice.

"Not. Now. Go away," Gaara hissed angrily, cold sweat taking over his body. He didn't like where this was going. Hopefully the brunette would leave immediately.

"But—"

"Go away! I was sleeping," Gaara snapped, raising his voice. "Now go to sleep, good night!"

"Jeez, no need to yell allright? Sleep well," Kankuro said in a quiet voice, retreating from the other side of the cellar door.

Relieved, Gaara went back to bed, hoping against hope that Naruto hadn't heard a word.

"Why did he want you to sleep next to him?" Naruto asked, confused.

"What? Uh, I don't know. He's sometimes afraid to sleep alone. It's because of our... father," Gaara lied. He would never tell Naruto the real reason.

"Oh, okay," Naruto said and faked a yawn.

"You're tired, go to sleep," Gaara ordered, hoping that sleeping would cease the blond's curiosity.

"But what about you? I want that you enjoy too," Naruto said, not wanting to be the only one who had received wonderful pleasure.

"Maybe some other time, okay? Now we both should sleep, it's getting very late," Gaara said, even though he often stayed up all the nights and painted, thanks to his insomnia.

"Well, good night then," Naruto accepted reluctantly. They then kissed before Naruto turned his back to Gaara so he could sleep better.

In reality, the blond kept his eyes open for the most of the night, unable to go to sleep. The redhead next to him breathed heavily, indicating that Gaara was asleep. Naruto couldn't sleep though, not when there were so many questions swirling in his mind. Why had Kankuro wanted to sleep next to Gaara? Was there something going on that he wasn't aware of? Was it normal for 17 and 18 years old brothers to share a bed?

The questions didn't let Naruto sleep for a long, long time. In the total blackness of a cellar, no one knew he was awake. When the first bangs of tiredness finally came to him, he yawned and decided to ask Gaara later about Kankuro's weird question.

He was sure that there was something he ought to know.

--

A/N: The song I quoted in this chapter is "Hoodoo" by Muse.

Thanks for reading! The next chapter will be the most interesting so far (in my opinion)!! :D