Hard Love Life

Kakuzu sighed when Hidan ran in, tucking his member back into his pants and finishing up his cigarette. From what Kakuzu saw, Hidan didn't look bad at all; he was just over exaggerating. Taking a quick cold shower, he picked up the girls and took them out a cheap restaurant nearby, getting them both pancakes, and only coffee for himself. As of now, he was afraid to go back to the base.

"Where is mama daddy?" Seiun asked eating the last of her pancakes, while Acheron was trying to find the appetite to finish hers, "Is he still praying?"

"Mama's not in a good mood right now, so I wasn't going to make you two suffer." Kakuzu paid for their food and waited for the girls to finish. "How about we go to the zoo?"

Acheron shook her head, looking afraid. "No! Home." Seiun nodded in agreement. "We don't really like animals. Even if we did we would want mama to come. I want to go home and make mama feel better. Do you want to do that daddy?"

Kakuzu sighed and narrowed his eyes in frustration. Damn kids, making it difficult to ignore Hidan for a day, or two, or thirty. "I… I'm not really good at comforting people." He looked to the side and stood up. Kakuzu felt like he was being psychoanalyzed by a ... "Hey Seiun how old are you anyways? You sound… Older."

"I'm four. I can read a little and count to twenty. I was living with my grandma who was like... I not sure how old... She did not remember who I was most days." Seiun said, tilting her head to the side, "Why?"

Kakuzu felt like he was being psycho analyzed by a four year old. "We'll have to start you in school soon it seems. But first we need to figure out if either of you have chakra... To see if we could put you in a ninja academy. Now Acheron, how old are you?" He asked, bending down to pick her up and hold her.

"Uh... Two?" Acheron guessed, "Yeah, two." Acheron soon went into a babble of what to Kakuzu was nonsense. "Acheron says she wants mama. I do to. Please daddy?"

Kakuzu sighed and began to walk in the direction of the base. "You two can deal with your mother, I'm going out… Somewhere. Far… Far away."

"Are... Are you going to leave us daddy?" Seiun asked sadly, "Please don't. Come and help us make mama feel better. If you don't we'll cry."

"No, I'm not going to leave you, I'm just going out for a bounty," Kakuzu looked down at his daughter and sighed. "Fine, I'll go and help you make Hidan feel better."

Seiun smiled and pulled Kakuzu along. They arrived back and went to Kakuzu and Hidan’s bedroom. "Mama what happened to your hair?" Seiun asked.

Hidan sniffed sadly. "Go to your room girls. I need to talk to your daddy. Alone." Acheron squirmed out of Kakuzu's arms and dashed down the hall, fearing that there was going to be a big fight. Seiun followed as well. "Are you happy? Look what you did to my hair! I had to cut most of the length off because is was singed."

Kakuzu shifted awkwardly as Acheron left. Well, there went his shields. He prepared for an object to get thrown at him, but it never did. " I didn't mean to singe off most of your hair! It doesn't look too bad though, you look kinda cute with short hair. Plus, hair grows back."

"I don't look cute! I'm hideous!" Hidan started crying again, "Who cares if it grows back? I will look ugly for weeks!" He buried his face into a pillow and yelled into it. Hidan used his hand to usher Kakuzu closer to him.

"Hidan, you look beautiful. Shut up." Kakuzu moved closer to Hidan and took him into his arms. "There's nothing I could ever do to you to make you look hideous."

"Shut up. I didn't disserve this. This is your fault." Hidan said against Kakuzu's chest, "You could have gently smacked me but instead you put an ember in my beautiful hair and ruined it! You fucking heathen."

Kakuzu let Hidan vent a bit, "How could I smack you, I was paralyzed." He kissed the top of Hidan's head. "Hidan. You look beautiful and your hair is still beautiful, just a little short."

“You could have dropped the ashes on my skin! Not my hair! You know how much I like it.” Hidan ran his fingers threw the silvery locks, pouting, “I think I look ugly.”

"It's not like I meant to drop them in your hair, I wasn't aiming for it." Kakuzu rested his chin on top of Hidan's head. "You look fine."

"Am I still attractive to you? Don't lie just to make me feel better." Hidan moved to Kakuzu's lap and wrapped his legs around his waist, "I've lost my whole image. Where did you take the girls to eat?"

Kakuzu nodded, "You'll always be attractive to me, even if you shaved your head bald." He wrapped his arms around Hidan's neck. "I took them to a small place in Ame."

"Bald is ugly." Hidan retorted, not liking the mental image of himself without a head of hair. He sighed softly, wishing Kakuzu had brought him something. "Can you beat me up? Break a few bones or something? I need some release that sex can't bring."

Kakuzu stroked Hidan's hair slowly, frowning when Hidan asked him to hurt him, but slowly consenting. He grasped his partner's arm and slowly twisted it before he heard it snap. Then, he took out a kunai from his drawer and buried it in Hidan's chest.

Hidan remained quiet, not wanting to startle their new daughters. He however could not hold back the guttural moan he made when Kakuzu stabbed his chest, nicking his heart. His heart was always sensitive. He felt pain when his other organs were stabbed, his heart on the other hand... Well what Kakuzu said about him having an orgasm after every battle wasn't to far from the truth. "Not quite ready... More...."

Kakuzu dragged the kunai down from Hidan's rib cage to his stomach and slipped his hand into the bloody mess, snapping a few of Hidan's ribs and setting them to the side. Finally, he found Hidan's heart and took it into his hand, wrapping his fingers around it tightly, digging in his fingernails. He began to tug on the heart, feeling its strong bonds to Hidan's body pull against him.

Hidan was panting now, delirious with pleasure almost as good as sex. He grabbed Kakuzu's arm as blood trickled from his mouth. "My heart... Take it... Use it... Eat it. I don't care... Just take it. Do... What ever you want... I'll just grow a new... one."

Kakuzu abided by Hidan's wishes and ripped out his lover's heart, holding it in his hand, not entirely sure what to do with it. He set it off to the side for now, leaning in and kissing Hidan roughly.

Hidan kissed Kakuzu back. "Look... Kakuzu... It is still beating." he said quietly, feeling a little lightheaded, "Am I beautiful even inside?"

Kakuzu looked over at the heart, seeing it actually still beating. "Yes, it is... ." Kakuzu place Hidan's ribs back into his body and began to sow up his lover's chest. "You're beautiful everywhere."

"Will you use it Kakuzu? It will keep you here with me for a long time...." Hidan's breath caught in his throat as Kakuzu stitched him closed, "I'm all horny now... ."

Kakuzu shook his head, "I don't need it now… If it was at a time when I needed it, I would use it though." He smirked when Hidan said he was horny now. "Why don't you go play with the shower?"

"Use it now. The thing can... Go bad." Hidan tossed his head back showing his neck to Kakuzu, "I'm to weak to make it."

Kakuzu looked at Hidan. "What element are you then? Which heart do I need to remove for it?" He left small bite marks on Hidan's neck when he exposed it. His fingers unbuttoned Hidan's pants and dipped his head down, deciding that he was finally going to give his lover a blowjob.

"I'm wind." Hidan said, looking down at Kakuzu, "What are you -Ah!" He squeezed his eyes closed as Kakuzu licked his member softly. "Oh my....That's nice."

Kakuzu removed the wind heart sealed in his body and replaced it with Hidan's. He smirked when Hidan said that it felt nice. Kakuzu licked as his lover's member a few more times before looking up at Hidan to see what he wanted him to do next.

Hidan watched Kakuzu lick him, blushing when looked at him. "J-just lick it... All over. Maybe suck on it a little?" He didn't want to rush Kakuzu.

Kakuzu took the head of Hidan's member into his mouth and sucked lightly on it before taking in enough of Hidan just before he started gagging.

Hidan bit his hand, trying to stay quiet. "Kakuzu... ." he grasped his lover's head, running his fingers threw the man's black hair. Hidan bit his lip as lifted Kakuzu's head up a bit before bringing it back down gently. He repeated the action, not going to hard or fast. He didn't want Kakuzu to hate this. "A-are you alright?" Hidan gasped out, shuddering.

Kakuzu felt a bit of panic shoot trough his body when Hidan first began to control his head, but he let it go and forced himself to get through this. He muffled out a 'yes' when Hidan asked if he was alright.

Hidan kept everything slow, even as he approached orgasm. He cried out softly as he came, gently pulling Kakuzu's head away. "I'm sorry... ." Hidan said, looking at Kakuzu blushing face, "You can hit me for doing that."

Kakuzu swallowed when Hidan came into his mouth and he looked away awkwardly. "I only did that because I felt bad for burning your hair. I'm never giving you another blow job ever again."

"Alright... Never again." Hidan agreed, "Did I uh... Taste good down there?" He blushed, grabbing his broken arm and squeezing it.

Kakuzu nodded slightly, "You tasted pretty good, it was disgusting to swallow though."

"Not my semen...." Hidan's face went beet-red, "My skin... down there..." He squeezed his broken arm harder, making the bones scrape against each other.

It clicked in Kakuzu's head after Hidan explained it. "Oh... Well… It didn't taste bad at all." He snatched Hidan's hand from his arm. "If you keep doing that, the bone will set funny and they will heal funny."

"Oh. Good..." Hidan said, smiling, "If that happens you could just break it again and set it right." He wrapped his arm around Kakuzu's neck. "Thanks for beating me up... How does the new heart feel?"

Kakuzu shook his head smiling slightly. "Did you like your blowjob?" He kissed Hidan softly. "The new heart feels fine."

"No... ." Hidan said, smirking when Kakuzu's face fell, "I loved it." He tilted his head back so Kakuzu kissed his neck instead. "Do you still have your heart?"

Kakuzu smirked when Hidan said he loved it. "Hey Hidan... What's it like having sex as a female? I mean, on the receiving end?" He began to kiss down Hidan's neck. "My original one?"

Hidan pursed his lips in thought. "Well, when you first thrust into me it feels like I'm stretching... And that can feel good... .You know when I stretch that piece of skin on you penis and it drives you crazy? It's like that I guess... Uh... Then for a bit I can't really feel you moving in side of me and then you hit some spot and it feels good... It also feels like I need to pee... " he bit his lip, "I can't explain it much more then that. The heart you were born with stupid."

Kakuzu closed his eyes when Hidan explained to him what it feels like to be on the receiving end in het sex. "That sound really good, actually." He rolled his eyes, "Yes, I have my original heart."

"It is good. But I prefer sex when I'm a man... .You'll have to tie me down and rape me if you want to have sex with you being the woman... It's to odd for me..." Hidan huffed and picked at a line of stitching on Kakuzu's chest, "Is it still strong?"

"What about our threesome? I'm sure you enjoyed being a woman then. Tying you up and raping sounds fun, so don't tempt me, or I'll do it." Kakuzu smacked at Hidan's hand. "It is still quite strong."

"I did. I'm talking about me being the man and you the woman." Hidan tugged on Kakuzu's hair, "You can't attack the willing unless you do stuff I don't really like. Like drilling a hole in me skull and screwing my brain. It takes a while for my brain to heal up. I'd be a vegetable for a few days."

Kakuzu shook his head, "You're very confusing sometimes." He smacked Hidan's hand for pulling his hair. "That sounds disgusting, I would never do that. Ugh, who would ever want to screw someone's head? And I was talking about me having to rape you in order to get sex as a woman. It would be fun to put you through anguish like that." Kakuzu pulled Hidan closer. "Why'd you ask about my original heart?"

"At least my brain is cleaner then my ass." Hidan pointed out, "If you do that then I will do something. I'm not sure what, but you will regret it." He slid a finger under a stitching and pulled. "I was just wondering..."

"But you're not supposed to fuck it." Kakuzu countered. "Oh, now you've honestly peaked my curiosity. You're not helping your case much." He winced when Hidan pulled at his stitching. "Stop that."

"Yeah, because normally you would die. Not me." Hidan retorted, "I'll kill our daughters or maybe deify Jashin so he would strike me down if you do." Hidan tugged at the stitching again. "If I get undressed would you whip me with these?"

"It crosses every moral line ever set." Kakuzu muttered. "Well that's a bit harsh." He looked over at Hidan and shook his head, "No, I won't whip you with them, maybe you can file a request for me to do so sometime."

"When has the Akatsuki ever been moral? We have cannibal. A necro-cannibal." Hidan ripped at the stitching he was tugging on, "No it's not. And please whip me some time?"

"Well there's a point where you've gone too far, and fucking someone's brain is way past too far." Kakuzu tied Hidan's hands above his head with the threads. "Stop, that hurts and I'm not a masochist. And maybe I'll whip you."

"You have no sense of adventure." Hidan said, pouting a he tugged on his bindings, "Reminds me of the first time we had sex. You?"

Kakuzu nuzzled against Hidan's neck, hearing the door open and little feet scampering across the floor. "We have company," he murmured, untying Hidan.

Hidan blushed and stuffed his member back into the pants he was wearing. "Hi there. How are you two?" he held open his arms and Seiun and Acheron jumped into his arms, "We need to get you two all set up. So go wash up while daddy and I get ready, Okay?" Seiun and Acheron nodded, padding off again. "They need shoes.

Kakuzu smirked as they left "They really know when to catch us naked, don't they?" He slipped out of bed and ran his fingers through his hair before slipping on his mask and cloak.

Hidan stretched, yawning before he got up and went to his closet, only putting on some pants before pulling on and fastening up his only cloak. "How do I look? Same as always minus the hair?"

Kakuzu looked over at Hidan. "Yes, same as always." He walked over to Hidan and kissed him through the mask before walking out and heading toward the bathroom.

Hidan trotted after Kakuzu, grabbing the elder's hand. Seiun and Acheron were waiting out side the bathroom, their small shirts wet, "Well it looks like someone had a splash fight. Oh well. Its just water." Hidan picked Acheron up with a grunt.

Kakuzu laced their fingers when Hidan grabbed his hand. He couldn't help but chuckled slightly when he saw that they girl's t-shirts were wet. "We should take them to the lake when the days begin to get warmer, teach them how to swim." Kakuzu picked up Seiun and heard his hip crack slightly.

"Them and me. I don't know how to swim. I'm afraid of deep water actually." Hidan winced when he heard the crack, "Go put on the brace or I'll take Seiun."

"You don't even know how to swim? How useless." Kakuzu scowled slightly, ignoring the slight discomfort in his hip. "No, I'm fine."

"I'm not useless." Hidan snapped, poking Kakuzu's hip roughly and hearing him groan, "Go put on the damn brace. You need it."

Kakuzu winced when Hidan poked his hip. "I'd be fine if you didn't just go around poking my hip." He shifted Seiun onto his good hip. "There, you happy?"

"Don't blame me when you hurt it again." Hidan said, kissing Acheron's cheek, "So, we're going to a second hand store right? It's cheep."

"I won't. My hip is fine. Plus, if my hip gets hurt again, the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get your daily dose of... 'Fun'." Kakuzu nodded, "Yes a secondhand store and a hardware store, for the paint."

"Your hip is not fine. It can't hold up. It was weak to start with. It broke during my daily dose of fun. God your bones are like those of a ninety-one... ... Oh." Hidan blushed, not finishing his sentence, "You need to drink more milk. The paint can't be cheap. Cheap paint has a lot of lead in it."

Kakuzu looked off to the side. Perhaps he was old, but at least he didn't look it. "I am ninety-one, idiot. Which can technically make you a grave-robber." He was in a bad mood now, not enjoying being reminded of his old age. "I wasn't planning on getting cheap paint."

"I know you are. I just... Forgot." Hidan pouted, "And you're a pedophile. Sixty-nine years in an age difference? You were in your eighties when I was a minor." He reached behind Kakuzu and grabbed his ass, smiling "You're a damn sexy old man."

"Technically I'm not a pedophile because you're in your twenties. Plus you're the one who wanted me," Kakuzu smirked and pat Seiun on the head. He frowned when Hidan grabbed his ass. "Not in front of the children."

"You're still a pedo. You would have done me even if I was fifteen." Hidan said, smacking Kakuzu's bottom, "They didn't see."

"I wouldn't have even touched you in the first place if you didn't beg me to." Kakuzu scowled and grabbed Hidan's hand. "Stop it."

"But do you denigh that you would have touched me if I had been fifteen? If I had still begged you?" Hidan pouted when Kakuzu told him to stop. "I don't wanna. It pisses of those people against two men being together."

"Probably not, I don't like teens going through puberty. It's too odd." Kakuzu held Hidan’s hand. "I don't really care if it pisses off people, I don't like being groped."

"You would have. When I was fifteen I got what ever I wanted. I still do most of the time." Hidan said, smiling, "Oh. But I like it. You never stop pulling my hair even though I don't like it."

"I wouldn't have. You must've been a spoiled brat… Oh wait, you still are." Kakuzu wrapped his free arm around Hidan's waist. "I stopped when you asked me to stop."

"Yes I'm spoiled. I'm proud of it." Hidan said, kissing Acheron again, "You'll do it again. Trust me."

Kakuzu scoffed, "No wonder why you don't know the meaning of a dollar." He leaned his head against Seiun’s. "I probably will."

"I know the meaning of a dollar. A candy bar." Hidan laughed, loving to tease Kakuzu, "See? So why should I stop doing this?" Hidan grabbed Kakuzu butt again. Someone made a wooting sound.

Kakuzu frowned. "Spoiled brat... " He pulled Hidan closer to himself and placed a kiss on his lips. "Because if you don't, we'll never have a threesome, ever again," he whispered close to Hidan’s ear. Kakuzu blushed when he heard a wooting sound. "Perverts... ."

Hidan leaned into the kiss, moaning. "You liked the threesome to much to stop doing it. Don't make empty threats." Hidan chuckled, "Is my Kakuzu-chan embarrassed?"

Kakuzu pushed Hidan away after he moaned. "How do you know? You liked it, but to me it was just like sex." He shook his head. " I don't get embarrassed."

"Hey! I like your kisses." Hidan said, pouting and moving pack to Kakuzu's side, "When I asked you if you liked it you said 'God yes.' so you liked it. You're blushing."

Kakuzu smirked and pulled Hidan closer. "I like your kisses too, but you don't see me moaning." He leaned his head against Hidan's. "I liked it, but it's only sex to me, I'm not getting it on both sides."

"Liar. When you release a clone you get all the experiences it had. So you had two orgasms." Hidan tilted his head to the side, "You don't have ears."

“I was also twice as tired. You're hard to please, you know that?" Kakuzu smacked his forehead to his palm. "I do too have ears, you just can't see them because they're hidden by my mask."

"Yes. But you’re happy to please me." Hidan said, looking at a sleeping Acheron, "No you don't... Not the out side part. You just have stitches."

"Who said I am happy to please you?" Kakuzu asked, raising a brow at Hidan. "And why must you point out the obvious?"

“You don't like pleasing me?" Hidan asked, is eyes sad, "Well... It's weird.

"I do. Sometimes," Kakuzu shook his head. "Well, thank you for the compliment," he muttered sarcastically.

"Well if you hate it so often then why bother." Hidan snapped, moving Acheron so she was on his shoulders, "You're a jerk."

"I never said I hated it. But sometimes it can get tiresome pleasing you." Kakuzu rolled his eyes and stopped in front of the secondhand store and place Seiun down, letting her walk.

"I hate you. You're such a jerk." Hidan set Acheron down, "Go with your sister over there and look for a nice sun dress to wear. Me and daddy need to talk again."

"You're so harsh sometimes Hidan." Kakuzu folded his arms over his chest. "Stop being such a drama queen about this."

"Stop saying stupid things. It just pisses me off." Hidan crossed his arms over his chest and humphed.

"You're not that hard to piss off, now are you?" Kakuzu asked, raising a brow slightly.

"This really pissed me off. You're insensitive. More then me." Hidan smacked Kakuzu's hip again before turning to Seiun who was holding a pretty flower print dress, "Oh that is lovely. Don't you think it will look good on her Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu grumbled when Hidan hit his hip once more, now walking with a slight limp. He limped slowly over to Hidan and Seiun, giving a pained smiled to his daughter. "It'll look lovely on her."

Seiun beamed and grabbed Kakuzu's hand, tugging him to where the dresses were. "Come on daddy! Help me look for one that’s betterer." She made Kakuzu sit down as she wandered into the rack, coming out with another dress. "I like this one too. It has hearts on the chest part."

Kakuzu limped after his daughter and gave Hidan a dirty look as he passed him. He sat down with a slight sigh of relief, watching Seiun scamper off to find another dress. "That one's pretty too, but I still think the one before looked better." He sighed; it felt odd to be giving a four-year-old advice on dresses.

Seiun wrapped her thin arms around Kakuzu's neck, giving him a kiss. "Daddy can I have a pretty yakuta and kimono too? I've never had one before."

Kakuzu looked around, then nodded slightly. "Alright... If you want one, you can have one… just... if they're not too expensive."

Seiun squealed, tackling Kakuzu and hugging him. "Thank you daddy! I love you!" Seiun gave her daddy a big wet kiss before climbing off of him, "Lets go look at them. Will you get one too? You'd look really good in one."

Kakuzu smiled at his daughter, trying to ignore the pain in his hip. "Why don’t you go find your sister so she can get one too." He shook his head, "No, I don't suppose I will get one."

Seiun nodded and rushed off, returning with Hidan and Acheron. "Okay daddy. Lets get the kimono's and yakutas."

Kakuzu stood up slowly and began to head off where the kimonos and yukatas were.

Hidan smiled as the girls dashed off to the kimonos. "We'll be in the dressing room." he made a clone to watch over them as he dragged Kakuzu into a stall. "You're angry right?"

Kakuzu followed Hidan into the stall. "Yes, I'm quite angry that you'd hit my hip when you know how much it hurts. And the fact that you always do it pisses me off even more."

"You should have gone back and put on the brace. How stupid are you? I'm surprised it has healed this fast. But if you don't wear the brace it will heal all wonky." Hidan huffed and undid his cloak. "I'll be your punching bag then."

"You shouldn't of hit it in the first place, then I wouldn't have a limp at all. I heal faster than you think." Kakuzu looked around and leaned into kiss his lover. "You didn't really mean it when you said you hated me, did you?"

"If you kept carrying either one of the girls you'd be limping." Hidan said, kissing Kakuzu softly. He sat down on the bench and made Kakuzu sit on the floor, pulling his lover's head to his bare chest. "Has my heart grown back completely?"

"I doubt it, but you're right, I should've gotten the brace." Kakuzu leaned into the kiss. When he leaned against Hidan's chest, he could hear a faint heartbeat. "Yes. It's grown back, but it's not very strong yet."

Hidan sighed, feeling edgy. "Can you beat me up again? Keep it in the chest area. I can cover that with me cloak. Do a number on me."

Kakuzu shook his head. "No, the girls should be done soon."

"Just punch me... please?" Hidan begged.

Kakuzu punched Hidan in the stomach swiftly before looking away and sighing.

Hidan hissed, placing his hand over a rapidly forming deep purple bruise. "Shit... You split my liver." He fastened up his cloak, panting. "What's wrong? You never minded hitting me before."

Kakuzu limped out of the stall, leaving Hidan in there, shaking his head slightly. "I don't know, I guess things are different now."

Hidan stood and staggered after Kakuzu. "How have things changed? I don't get it." Hidan smiled as Seiun and Acheron ran up to them, showing off the Yakutas and Kimonos they found. One of each. "Oh good. Lets go get you two some pants, shirts, skirts, and skorts next. Then shoes."

Kakuzu looked back at Hidan. "I can't tell you how, but they've changed. A lot." He smiled at his daughters, secretly counting up the cost in his head and subtracting it from the money he found in Tobi's room.