Formspring Drabbles

Title: Understanding Friends... Or Not
Pairing: KakaIru, AsuKure
Characters: Asuma (POV) and Kakashi (mentions Iruka and Kurenai)
Summary: Short written for KakaIru Formspring
Question: Why does Kakashi like Iruka's butt so much?
Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Naruto or these two would be Canon (and so would ShikaKiba)
In Collaboration With: Kita_the_spaz
Dedicated to: Megyal because her wicked little mind is what inspired Kita's wickedness *much love to both*


Kakashi: You've seen it. I think it's kind of self explanatory.
Iruka: ... Don't look at me. He's just weird like that.
Kakashi: That's because you can't see your ass and well it's your ass but anyone else who's seen your ass would get it.
Iruka: *pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs* He's a jounin, they're all weird and insane.

---
Kakashi: You've seen it. I think it's kind of self explanatory.
Iruka: ...  Don't look at me. He's just weird like that.
Kakashi: That's because you can't see your ass and well it's your ass but anyone else who's seen your ass would get it.
Iruka: *pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs* He's a jounin, they're all weird and insane.

---

Asuma furrowed his brow and knocked the ash off his cigarette. The dim light of the bar drifted through the haze of smoke and he took a drink of his sake and set the glass back down. "I don't get it... what's so great about his ass?"

"It's this perfect shape that fits my hands exactly." Kakashi held his hands up and squeezed an imaginary ass, the metal on the black leather gloves catching the light. "You should look the next time he's at the public baths when you are."

Wrinkling his nose, Asuma shook his head. "No thank you." He had no interest in men or their asses but lately it seemed like his friend was a bit... obsessed with them; one ass in particular. Not that he would argue against the man liking the chunin since it seemed to be good for them both. It was just that every time he turned around the guy was staring at it, making comments about it, and even comparing it to others. "It's another guy's ass, I just don't see the attraction. I mean a woman's ass is soft and curvy so I get that but a guy's... well it's too muscular, there's no give, nothing to hold onto."

"There is to!" Kakashi protested. "That's what's so great about his, there's just enough there that you can squeeze and he fits perfectly against me." He closed his visible eye and it crinkled at the corner giving it a slightly curved look; something that had become well known as 'Kakashi's smile'. "And he has this ticklish spot right on the inside where it meets the top of his thigh..."

"Oh fuck man, I really didn't need or want to know that," Asuma groaned and ran a hand through his hair. He took another long drag on his cigarette. Kakashi listened to him talk about Kurenai so it was only fair that he not complain, it was his own fault of course for opening his mouth. Though Kakashi was bi so it still seemed a little less fair. They were friends though and that's what friends did, they listened to each other go on and on and on about their significant others. He liked Iruka, he even thought he was good for Kakashi, but sometimes the details were things he'd much rather have skipped knowing. Most of the time he tried to pretend the pony-tailed, doe-eyed chunin was a girl even if the man, as far as he was concerned, looked nothing like a girl. Kakashi never seemed to notice his discomfort, that or the man did and enjoyed seeing it. Asuma wasn't quite sure which.

Kakashi grinned wide enough it was visible even under the blue fabric of his mask then picked up his own cup of sake. "All those muscles mean he's tighter than any woman, though you should get a little kinky with Kurenai then maybe you'll see the difference."

Asuma spluttered slightly then shook his head. "That's gross. There are places that it shouldn't go. I mean you're welcome to have your fun but I'm never doing that."

"Mah don't be such a prude." Kakashi set down an empty glass and poured another.

If he didn't know better Asuma would have thought Kakashi had said it just to distract him so he could get a drink but no he was pretty sure Kakashi was serious. "I'm not a prude."

"Yes you are and you don't know what you're missing." Kakashi shrugged. "Not that, that's a bad thing because if you did then you'd understand what's so amazing about his ass and you might try to trade up."

"Oh shut it, forget I asked." He laughed though, it was good to see his friend happy even if it would never make sense to him.


---

Normally, the slight shift in Asuma's position wouldn't have meant anything, but to Kakashi's trained eye, it spoke volumes. "He's right behind me, isn't he?"

Asuma took a long drag from his cigarette and exhaled slowly. "Mebbe you should start running now. You might even get as far as the door."

"Kakashi..." If ever there was a sound of impending doom, it was in the way Kakashi's name rolled off of Iruka's tongue, like the first rumble of an avalanche.

Kakashi made a small sound that (he would later deny vigorously) bore an uncanny resemblance to a frightened squeak and made the seals for a teleportation jutsu with unseemly haste.

Iruka's fingers lashed out and stopped him before he could finish. "Hatake-san, I think it's time we had a brief chat." Without waiting for Kakashi to finish his garbled protest, Iruka bodily hauled him up out of his chair. "Please do excuse us, Asuma-san, I won't trouble you with our conversation," he said politely. Then his eyes darted past Asuma's shoulder and he flashed a vulpine grin that held leagues of mischief. "I think you have your own troubles to contend with."

Despite his words, Iruka made no move to depart, his fingers still painfully tight around Kakashi's wrist.

Asuma nearly inhaled his cigarette when Kurenai's voice purred in his ear. "But Kakashi's right, you never know what you're missing unless you try it, Asuma-kun."

Kakashi almost laughed, but a wary glance at the chuunin at his side forestalled that idea.

Iruka's smile really was a scary thing.

Nodding to both Asuma and Kurenai, Iruka turned and bodily hauled Kakashi away.

Kakashi heard Kurenai chuckle softly, "What a cute couple," but then his attention was distracted by the delicious flex of Iruka's ass.