Deprivation

"Are your eyes closed?" Haku asked from his bedroom.

"Yes," Kimimaro called back, hands up to block his sight as he sat in Haku's living room.

"You promise?"

Kimi felt a flicker of annoyance and then heard Haku giggle. Actually giggle. Kimi grinned, body relaxing back on the couch.

"I would never be so base as to lie to you," Kimimaro earnestly replied in his best subservient voice.

There was a pause, and Kimimaro heard the bedroom door creak open, a small intake of breath, and a soft, "Oh."

"What?" Kimimaro asked, alarmed.

"Nothing," Haku said immediately. "I just…like what you chose."

"Oh," Kimimaro said, feeling tension unwind in his gut. "I didn't…it was hard to…"

"Pick something to wear that didn't scream 'sub' or 'dom' or 'professional toy for grabs?'" Haku supplied.

Thinking of the agonizing hour Kimimaro spent in his meager closet discarding clothing options left and right, Kimimaro merely nodded. He'd finally chosen jeans without holes and a black, sleeveless shirt with a round collar that looked perfectly normal from the front but the back was made entirely of lace. The shirt was just stretchy enough to show off physique but not so clingy as to appear obvious, and Kimi grabbed his reasonably nice leather jacket to wear over the shirt. Plain black shoes and a black belt were the only two accessories he wore, other than the hair tie that secured his low ponytail. And all the jewelry, of course. But Kimimaro changed out his lip rings for simple studs and put a thinner ring through his septum. After that he had to say to hell with it and got over to Haku's else he fret even longer and make them late.

"Can I look?" Kimi asked.

"Yes, you may," Haku answered, hesitant. Kimimaro uncovered his eyes and his jaw dropped. Haku's hair was loose, save for two braids he'd woven into it on one side. His large eyes were made even more luminous with dusky gray liner and a smear of shimmering silver over the lids. The shirt was a black silk peasant blouse with a wide collar woven with a string of velvet. The sleeves were long and airy, the cuffs tied with more pieces of velvet, but the body of the shirt was shaped and it tapered into a narrow band that hit just below Haku's waist.

Beneath the shirt Haku wore a long, black skirt with asymmetrical hemline, the front of which fell to the tops of his black knee-high boots. The skirt was also black silk, but the bottom of it looked like it'd been dipped in blood-red paint, and the splatters came up and made a cherry-blossom pattern of twigs and blooms. Haku took two steps closer, the skirt flowed like water at night, and Kimimaro saw Haku's wrists and throat were bare of jewelry -- unusual for Haku -- but it meant the only sound he made when he moved was the whispering babble of fabric.

Haku's expression turned pleasantly hopeful when Kimimaro met his eyes. "Good, then?" Haku asked softly.

"Y-yeah," Kimimaro answered, nodding. "Oh, Haku…"

Haku looked down at himself critically. "Not too…much?"

Kimimaro shook his head mutely, standing up to approach Haku, eyes fixated on the smaller man made taller by the boots. "You're beautiful," Kimimaro whispered.

Meeting Kimi's eyes, Haku bit his lip. "You don't think it'll bother him that I…dress like…"

"No," Kimimaro answered with a shake of his head. He reached and squeezed Haku's arms with both hands, rubbing palms over the fabric, fascinated. He'd never seen this particular outfit on Haku; it made him look tiny, lean…elegantly edible.

"Okay, then. I trust you," Haku sighed, eyes turning coy as he reached up to wrap his arms around Kimi's neck. "You look nice, too," he said softly, kissing Kimmaro lightly and then hungrily. Kimi made a quiet sound of protest and lust as he pulled Haku to him. His eyes opened to half mast when he felt hardness hidden by layers of silk and trapped by functional undergarments against his thigh. He pressed Haku closer and heard him gasp, sound helpless and shooting straight to the center of Kimimaro's body to tug hard at his cock.

"Haku, you're--"

"I know," Haku whispered, hands sliding to Kimimaro's chest. "Been like that since we woke up to start getting ready." He sounded equally amazed and irritated, and a shudder rocked his shoulders.

"Should we--"

"No," Haku answered, shaking his head. "I…I…" He bit his lip again, worrying it.

"Okay," Kimimaro said, and he brushed his fingers over a braid.

"It's not that I think anything will happen, but… I just…"

"Hope it does?" Kimimaro finished.

Haku looked up at Kimi, face flushed and eyes uncertain. "Is it crazy to want that?"

"If it is, then we're both lunatics."

"What time is it?" Haku asked, head turning to try to see the clock in the kitchen.

"A quarter 'til five, I think. We need to go down to wait on the car." Kimimaro swallowed nerves.

"Tell me everything's okay," Haku whispered, clasping Kimimaro's hand in a tight grip.

"Everything's more than okay," Kimi reassured Haku. "Master Neji and Kakashi and Tenzou and Naruto all approve of Master Itachi." Kimimaro paused, and the words helped him find some modicum of peace. Then he frowned. "And, one would assume, so does Master Sasuke."

Haku made a face. Kimi laughed. "Come on -- let's go?"

Nodding and still holding Kimimaro's hand, Haku followed Kimimaro as the two men turned out the lights in Haku's apartment, grabbed Haku's keys and phone -- both of which went into Kimi's pockets -- and left. Kimimaro didn't say anything about how they were both acting as though they weren't coming back; not tonight, at any rate.

Maybe not ever.

Kimi shook himself: that made no sense. At the very least, they'd have to get their things. Or drop off keys…

"What are you thinking?" Haku asked as they walked toward Kimimaro's building, both of them scanning and searching for an unfamiliar vehicle.

"That I'm… worried about getting ahead of myself," Kimimaro replied.

"Yes… I keep thinking that this is just dinner," Haku said thoughtfully. "Because it starts to hurt when I let myself want it to be more."

"I'm terrified because it already feels like more," Kimimaro said, words nearly choking him.

Haku squeezed his hand and then linked their arms. "After all you told me of last night and this morning, I can see why you feel that way."

"I'm not worried about trusting him, though, Haku, and that's… foolish?"

"No, not really," Haku sighed, shaking his head as they stopped to wait for the car. "You said it yourself: he's vetted. And he proved himself to you last night." Haku paused, thinking. A light breeze rustled the branches of nearby trees and ruffled Haku's skirt, and Kimimaro fought the urge to pull Haku close to make himself feel safer.

"Being accepted and allowed by the Masters of Break to play isn't the same thing as earning ownership," Haku mused. "Or being qualified for such things. We know that. But I feel the same way you do. My instinct is that he's truthful and means what he says: that he's… greedy… for us both." Haku shivered, and Kimimaro knew it had nothing to do with the cool evening air. He also knew in that instant what was bothering him: Kimi believed Itachi wanted him. And the hope that Itachi wanted them was trying to kill him.

"I don't think this is a trap or a ploy or a cruel joke," Haku continued. "I believe him to be serious, and I remember him at Haze." He looked off at the horizon, the sun low and golden and surrounded by wisps of clouds. "He was always entirely honest under the whip."

Kimimaro said nothing, feeling daggers cut into him at the thought of Itachi hurting in penance to his family, his guilt, and to his idea of self.

"I already want to make him happy," Haku whispered.

"Me, too," Kimimaro fervently replied, thinking everything felt very simple and very complicated at the same time. He tried to focus on the simplicity so he could keep putting one foot in front of the other.

"Do you think Master Neji knew?" Haku asked quietly.

"Knew?"

Haku looked at the ground, a braid falling forward to swing by his cheek. "Knew that when Itachi asked for you he might be someone who would ask for us both?"

Kimimaro blinked and considered. "I… I have no--" He stopped, remembering what Master Neji said--

"…he operates on no ulterior motive…"

--and Kimimaro heard the other, unspoken part of that statement, now: "But I always do."

"It's Master Neji," Kimimaro said reverently. "Anything is possible."

Haku smiled up at Kimimaro, indulgently. "Then I am happy to try and trust the people we believe want to take care of us," Haku said, firmly. "And hope to enjoy dinner."

Kimimaro laughed. "Oh God… eating…"

"I know," Haku groaned. "I don't know if I could swallow anything right now."

With a glance down at the sidewalk and an amused quirk of lips, Kimimaro looked askance at Haku, who blinked and blushed before he turned toward the entrance of the apartment complex.

"But I'm sure I could make allowances for particularly tasty things."

"Of course," Kimimaro said seriously. "We both could. Chocolate, for instance, would be delightful."

"Naturally," Haku replied in the same tone.

"You always enjoy fine wine."

"Absolutely." Haku smiled.

"And we are sure to both sample and find satisfaction in Master Itachi's… cooking."

The hand-over-mouth giggles the words earned Kimimaro were worth their weight in gold, and Kimimaro wanted to freeze time and keep it in that moment: Kimi feeling lighthearted, and Haku gorgeous as he laughed.

With a sigh, Kimimaro stared at the entrance and saw a car slowing down and turning into the complex. Next to him, Haku stopped chuckling and emitted what could only be described as a startled squeak.

"What?" Kimi asked.

"That's… oh my God."

The car turned out to be a black limousine, an older model from what Kimimaro could tell, but Haku started breathing like he ran a race.

"I think that's the car?" Kimi said.

"That's a Bentley," Haku said as though declaring that the car was the second incarnation of the Christ child.

Kimimaro knew enough about cars to know they had wheels and engines, but he smiled as Haku practically squirmed in delight before making a visible effort to get a grip as the car drew nearer.

"I feel just a little like…" Haku trailed off, licking his lips.

"Cinderella?" Kimimaro suggested.

"Yes," Haku whispered, shooting a glance up at Kimi.

"Me, too," Kimi replied, a secret between them.

Haku turned his head and pressed his mouth against Kimi's sleeve, eyes shut. "I… I could get used to it."

"You should have nothing less," Kimimaro said, affectionately kissing Haku's hair. The smaller man sighed, and the Bentley stopped in front of them. A man wearing a black uniform with silver buttons and sleek cap climbed out from behind the wheel.

"Good evening, gentlemen," said the driver as he took off his hat and gave a curt bow. His hair was gray, his mustache still mostly black, and his eyes were dark. He was between Haku and Kimimaro in height, of indeterminable age, and he extended a black-gloved hand to Kimimaro, which Kimi took.

"Good evening," Kimi replied.

The man smiled and when Haku reached to take the driver's proffered hand, the man clasped Haku's fingers in a gentle squeeze, bent forward over their hands, and then let go.

"I'm Merek, Lord Uchiha's driver among other things, and here to convey you to my Lord's estate in what I hope passes for a comfortable and soothing drive." Merek smiled, showing perfectly even teeth. Kimimaro thought he sounded faintly British.

"Pleasure to meet you," Haku said.

"Likewise. Now please, if you'll allow me." Merek stepped to open the back door of the car, and Haku nodded as he again took Merek's hand and slipped inside. Kimimaro smiled politely as he got in after Haku, and Merek shut the door. The interior of the car was gray leather, nothing particularly astonishing but very comfortable. Haku settled on the seat next to Kimi with a sigh of pleasure.

Another door closed and Kimimaro saw Merek situate himself behind the wheel, hat back in place. "Would you care for music, conversation, or silence?" Merek asked, eyes up in the rearview mirror.

"Music, please," Haku answered.

"Of what variety?"

Haku considered, one finger on his chin, and Kimimaro felt warmth flush through him at seeing Haku so happy.

"Something Lord Uchiha enjoys," Haku answered.

"Well done, sir," Merek replied, sounding genuinely pleased. A second later, Rachmaninoff filled the car, low and peaceful.

"Oh," Haku said, wistful and resting his head back against the seat. "Thank you, Merek."

"Done with delight, gentle sir. Now then, my fellow travelers, the GPS informs me that our drive shall be just over an hour. I'm happy to leave you to private conversation, and please buzz me with the intercom button on the door panel should you need anything at all."

"Thank you," Kimimaro said.

"But of course, sir," Merek replied and the screen rolled up between the front and aft compartments. As soon as the car started moving, Haku slid across the seat and reached for Kimimaro.

"I'm afraid I'll muss you," Kimimaro said, hesitating.

"I want you to hold me more than I want unwrinkled clothing," Haku said simply, and Kimimaro took the other man at his word, gently pulling him into Kimimaro's lap and letting Haku lean against one shoulder. Moments passed, lost to thoughts of what the evening might entail, and Kimi was content, nervous, terrified, eager, and must still be riding the Scene high as despite it all, his mind was quiet. His guts churned, but his brain seemed to believe circumstances were progressing in the natural order of things. Fairytale or not, holding Haku in the back of a fancy car when they were headed to a dinner with a fascinating and beautiful man felt amazing. Kimimaro clung to that, to the image of Haku laughing, and Kimimaro closed his eyes.

"I'm so nervous," Haku said breathlessly, shifting in Kimimaro's hold.

"I won't let him hurt you." Kimimaro blinked at the words, frowning at the vehemence of his tone.

Haku clasped Kimi's leather jacket. "I know. You will not let me be a burden so that he may have you, and I will not let you be the object of a cruel man's desire."

"Thank you," Kimimaro said, chest feeling like it might explode as he sighed. Haku twisted in his arms to look at him.

"But Lord Uchiha is not cruel." Haku's dark eyes darted back and forth, searching Kimi's face.

"And you would be no sane man's burden," Kimi replied, earnest to his core.

Haku smiled, tiny white teeth flashing. One hand came up to cover his mouth as he spoke: "Listen to us."

"I know," Kimimaro replied, forehead touching Haku's, who chuckled, and then shifted with a hissing inhalation.

"Uncomfortable?" Kimimaro asked, voice slightly deeper.

"Ridiculously so," Haku mumbled, ducking under Kimimaro's chin. The acknowledgement and Haku's scent collided with an image of the Scene with Master Itachi: his lips forming the word "beautiful" against Kimi's cheek and the feel of him moving inside Kimimaro… filling him, and…

"I sympathize," Kimimaro whispered, and he shivered as he hardened. Haku squirmed in his grasp, pulling a gasp from both their lips.

"He'd be pleased with us," Kimimaro whispered. "Aching for him and miles to go."

"I… I think he could just…" Haku shuddered and Kimimaro heard him make a sound like a trapped groan. "He could look at me, put a hand on me, and I'd…"

"Come screaming?" Kimimaro husked with no small amount of chagrin.

Haku whimpered, and coals of lust burned bright in Kimimaro's groin. He kept his hands in carefully neutral places, merely holding; he didn’t want to tempt when Haku wanted to resist.

"He would like us this kind of nervous," Kimimaro said, swallowing, and trying very hard not to see Itachi's face when his lips were kiss-swollen and his eyelids were heavy with pleasure.

"Tell me more about him." Haku's fingers flexed on Kimimaro's arm. "Talk to me of mundane things or I'm not sure I'll make it."

For a moment, Kimimaro couldn't think of a thing to say that wasn't somehow sexual. "Oil," he said, a little too loudly as the fact occurred to him.

"Come again?"

Wincing at the turn of phrase, Kimimaro rubbed Haku's back, smoothing the shirt. "The Uchiha family made their fortune in oil, generations ago, now."

"I see," Haku said neutrally. "Tell me more?"

"I believe they immigrated here from Japan, and they were well established in their home country. They got a bit of a head start on the Hyuuga family, who began investing in steel and iron mines somewhere around the turn of the last century." Kimimaro paused, considered. "Possibly earlier."

"How do you know this?"

Kimimaro shrugged. "My old master was interested in all the major families in Monoshizukanohi. Between him and Google, I filled in the details."

"Ah," Haku said, nodding. "And Uzumaki?"

"New money. Opened a chain of retail stores in the 1970s."

"Hatake?"

"Military family, and the men married very well. Old money, not sure where it all materialized, but until Kakashi's parents died, they owned one of the oldest homes in Monoshizukanohi."

Haku resituated himself in Kimimaro's lap. "Thank you." He sighed, the sound easy and fluid and Kimimaro felt a bath of nerves and fear slosh through his insides. Wanting something so much could be so damned dangerous. He trusted Itachi -- wanted to, needed to, and his experience told him he was right to do so. He loved Haku -- wanted him content and smiling and peaceful.

I believe…I'm serving them both. But in ways that pull me apart.

"Kimi…" Haku said, and Kimimaro let him shift to sit up, one small hand coming to touch Kimimaro's cheek. "Remember: we have each other. No matter what."

Kimimaro sighed and his lips were on Haku's before he could think twice about it. Immediately, he pulled back. "I'm… I'm sorry."

"More?" Haku whispered, leaning closer, long lashes on his cheeks. "Please… more?"

Kimi's mouth met Haku's in swift compliance, and the kiss was slow and gentle. When Kimimaro tried to pull away, Haku made a complaining noise and wrapped a hand around Kimi's neck, holding him in place. Haku's lips nibbled at Kimi's, and he returned the attention, but tongues stayed in their respective mouths and two sets of hands held, clutched, and remained determinedly platonically placed.

After a moment or two, Haku began to tremble, and Kimimaro again tried to pull away and Haku stopped him. They held one another, mouths slowly sliding, slick and wet. Kimi felt his thoughts drift away, his focus on the silk beneath his palm, the heated skin under the fabric, the way Haku breathed fast and sharply through his nose. Kimi lost track of time, and classical piano formed the soundtrack to sweet kisses that worked very hard not to become urgent, desperate, or purposeful.

When Haku broke away, Kimimaro hugged him tightly. In mutual, silent agreement, the men shifted in the seat so their mouths had easy access to one another, and they spent the car ride in quiet repose; lips pressing when one or the other needed it, eyes meeting and speaking volumes without words.

~*~