Just Too Sexy For His Own Good

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I'm making no money off this fanfiction piece. All characters not associated in the series (meaning original characters) do belong to me. Enjoy the story and don't sue.
-Ruri

Chapter Twelve
Uzumaki Narutos Plan of Retailiation

Kakashi was nervous.

Okay, so he was more than nervous. But he was going on a date with Umino Iruka, Konoha's resident adorable, beyond irresistable oh-so-sexy teacher. Who wouldn't be nervous?!

Kakashi straightened the fabric of his black shirt, and shook one of his legs awake. He had to admit though, his ass looked great in khaki's. However one thing wasn't going well with his outfit. The mask. He couldn't take it off, for should things go extremely well tonight, only his Iruka could see his face.

He then squealed like a little school girl and jumped around in an excited circle. Something that no one, would ever have guessed Kakashi did, nor would ever find out. He was ready and set to get Iruka, romance the pants off of the dolphin and have his sweet way with the sensei.

"Iruka, tonight you're mine!"

Off at Iruka's apartment, the dolphin sneezed, and snatched a tissue.

***

"Naruto, why are you in my room?"asked Hinata with a faint blush upon her half naked former crush.

"Hinata, thank God!"Naruto crushed the petite girl in a large hug. After a few cracks of the spine and choking coughs, he finally let go with a sheepish smile.

"Nice to see you too, Naruto,"coughed Hinata. "So why are you here?"

"Hinata, this may sound crazy but, I think Sasuke and Neji want me."

Hinata's left eye twitched and she held in her self control as of not to laugh. "Really?"

"I know, it's so weird! Of course, with someone as sexy as I am, I can't believe I didn't see it sooner, but dear Hokage, they really really WANT ME!"

"I know all of this, "Hinata admitted.

"You what?"Naruto asked.

"Naruto, I can't lie. There's a betting pool going around of who will get you. Currently, the odds are for Neji but Sasukes' catching up pretty well."

Naruto stood there stunned and Hinata found that she couldn't face him.

"So...how much money is in the wins?"Naruto asked.

"NARUTO?!"Hinata shouted in suprise. Naruto jumped in his own suprise not expecting such an outburst from the young girl.

"What?"he shrugged.

"Aren't you mad that you're being betted on? Aren't you angry that someone would put money on your heart?!"Hinata asked.

"No,"Naruto admitted.

"Well that takes care of that,"Hinata mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing,"Hinata smiled.

"So, who started the bet?"Naruto asked.

"Ino and Sakura. They found out that Neji and Sasuke wanted you so they started a betting pool."

"And who all bet?"Naruto asked.

Hinata sighed heavilly. She padded over to her desk and opened up her drawer and pulled out a scroll. Untying the red ribbon, it fell on the ground and many names in small print could be seen.

"Ino, Sakura, Tenten, Kurenai, Haruko, Heza, Sumire, Tsume, Neji, Sasuke..do you really want me to finish?"Hinata asked.

"No,"Naruto lowered his voice.

"Naruto, are you okay?"

"Here I thought they actually liked me. They bet on themselves to get money didn't they?"Naruto asked with a flare of anger.

"You weren't mad before,"Hinata stated.

"Before, I didn't know that Sasuke and Neji placed a bet on who could get me. I just thought it was a few girls bored with nothing better to do! Now I find out that they only like me for some money!"

Hinata slowly stepped away. Naruto's anger was venting quite visably.

"Who did you bet for Hinata?"Naruto spat angrilly.

"I didn't bet on anyone. I've been telling Sakura and Ino that it's a bad idea!"Hinata retailiated. Naruto's face fell.

"I'm sorry Hinata,"Naruto apologized. "I'm a dumbass, I know."

"You're not dumb,"Hinata said, comforting Naruto in a hug. "I would feel the same way. Used."

"What do I do?"Naruto asked.

"D-do you like any of them?"Hinata asked.

"You'd be suprised of who I liked,"Naruto admitted with a false chuckle.

"Well, it seems that they've had a few plans of how stuff works. So why don't you make a plan?"Hinata suggested.

"What kind of plan?"Naruto asked.

"Well, I don't really know,"Hinata shyed away. "You could play their game and watch it backfire?"

"HINATA THAT'S GREAT!"Naruto jumped up and gave Hinata a bear hug.

"T-thanks!"she blushed.

"Hmm...I shall call it Uzumaki Naruto's Plan of Getting Sasuke and Neji Back At Their Own Game!"Naruto declared.

"How about Uzumaki Naruto's Plan of Retailiation?"Hinata suggested.

"That sounds better!"

Hinata laughed.

"Well, I better get going. Maybe I'll crash at Iruka-sensei's place until tommorrow,"Naruto pondered.

"See you later Naruto. Good Luck."

"Bye Hinata-chan!"Naruto waved.

Hinata blushed ans sighed happilly. "Anytime Naruto."

***

Six O'Clock had arrived and Iruka silently pondered where Kakashi was. Of course, he was notorious for being late, and should he ever know that the jounin was really outside his door, and had been for about a half an hour pacing back and forth gaining the courage to knock on his door, he would probably laugh in amusement.

Kakashi swallowed back a gulp and knocked timidly at Iruka's door. Showing a face of suprise, the dolphin stood up and walked towards the door, opening it up to see the charming crinkled eye of Hatake Kakashi.

"Kakashi, hello,"Iruka smiled.

"Good evening Iruka,"Kakashi returned the smile.

Iruka passed the awkward moment with a simple statement. "Shall we go?"

"Yes."

***

"Hyuuga."

"Uchiha."

"And what are you doing here?"asked Sasuke with his hands on his hips outside the door of Naruto's house.

"I'm here to visit Naruto,"Neji stated as a matter of factly. "But I'm guessing he's not here."

"You're right about that."

"So why are you here?"Neji asked with a raised eyebrow.

Damn Neji, Sasuke thought with a visible scowl.

"I'm waiting,"Sasuke stated.

"My guess is that you're waiting for Naruto,"Neji stated.

"You are quite the genius they say you are,"sarchastically stated Sasuke.

Naruto peeked silently around the corner, kudos for him for getting so far without catching the attention of the dark haired men. His azure gaze narrowed and a pouted face played his features.

"Shove it Uchiha. Naruto doesn't want a guy like you,"Neji stated.

"Yeah, and why's that?"Sasuke defended.

"Well for one...how many times have you tried to kill him? How many times have you ever given him the time of day when you haven't tried to beat the crap out of him,"Neji stated.

Naruto raised his eyebrows. 'Good point.'

"Why would he want a guy like you? Pompous, arrogant, and always thinking he's better than everyone else!"Sasuke replied.

"Jeez, you just described yourself perfectly,"Neji smirked. Sasuke growled. Both boys gave eachother a glare, and turned away from eachother.

Naruto smirked to himself and then exited from his little hiding spot in the corner.

"Hiya guys,"Naruto chirped, inwardly smirking at the reactions he got from the guys, who kept starring at his chest. In a rather seductive voice, he stated, "Whatcha doing?"

"Uh-well,"Neji sputtered, shifting slightly.

"Erm.."Sasuke replied his own answer.

"Umm, ahh, it's kinda hot in here isn't it?"breathed Naruto. "Oh, sorry, I don't have a shirt on."

The two boys unconsiously nodded.

"Why don't you two come inside?"Naruto grinned a feral grin. Inner Naruto laughs evilly as Naruto rubs underneath both boys' chins with his two index fingers, and they float into the apartment with little hearts and foxes around their heads. (A/N: Funny image...LOL)

Naruto quickly wiped the evil smirk off his face when he turned around. Neji and Sasuke had followed him silently into his kitchen, where they practically drooled over Naruto's oh-so-sexy torso.

Naruto opened up the freezer and pulled out an ice cube. He then, placed the piece of ice on his neck.

"Hmm, that feels much better,"Naruto moaned lightly tracing a path down his tanned torso. He never broke eye contact with the two mens eyes, whose own eyes watched/twitched as he kept moving the ice cube lower.

"Wait!"Naruto jumped up.

"GACK!"the two boys shouted in suprise, jumping accidently into eachothers arms. Once they realized they were holding eachother, they immediately broke apart.

"Both you boys have been naughty,"Naruto grinned. "Tormenting poor lil ol' me."

They nodded.

"So that means you have to make it up to me,"Naruto pointed out, tossing the ice cube aside. "Follow me." If possible, his tone had just become sexier, deeper and shot even faster to the pants of Sasuke and Neji.

Silently, they padded through the hallways as Naruto led them into his bedroom. "Now, sit."

They sat on his bed.

"Good boys. We're going to play a game now."

They nodded.

Inner Naruto was clapping and running around in circles, noting how easilly manipulative they were when he was half naked and moaning or speaking in a sexy voice.

"Now, here are the rules. I'm going to blindfold you and turn off the lights. Then, you're going to make up to me all the naughty things you've been traumatizing me with, until I'm fully satisfyied,"Naruto began, crawling on the bed and slowly wrapping the jounin's headbands around their eyes.

"Now, no Byakugan Neji, and no Sharingan Sasuke. If you remove the blindfold, then you lose me. Now strip."

The boys slowly began to strip. As they did this, Naruto performed several handseals and created a single clone of himself. The others didn't even detect another presence.

Soon they were naked.

"What now?"smirked Sasuke, ready to win.

Naruto wickedly grinned and twiddled his fingers together. Inner Naruto laughed wildly and slapped his knee before passing out and rolling towards Kyuubi's cage.

"I want you both to just remain quiet and lay down on my bed,"Naruto commanded. "While I get ready."

As quick and devious as the little fox Naruto was, he snatched the boy's clothing and went into the bathroom. He tossed the clothes out the window and snickered quietly. He then walked back into the room and whispered into his clones ear...

"Seduce em,"he snickered. "..for eachother."

And with that, Naruto exited his bedroom, until he reached down the hall, where he climbed out a window, and jumped off.

The Naruto clone slowly crawled onto the bed.

He took Sasuke's hand and placed it on Nejis stomach. Neji however thought it was Naruto's hand and Sasuke thought it was Naruto's stomach. "Touch me."

"Kiss me,"Narutos clone breathed, slowly backing away watching the scene unfold.

Sasuke leaned in as did Neji and slowly their mouths descended upon eacothers, their hands still tracing eachothers bodies.

Naruto didn't say anything more, or else the geniuses would stop (one of them would) and figure out, Hey, this isn't Naruto I'm kissing!

The Naruto clone simply pulled out a kunai and stabbed himself, exploding in a cloud of smoke.

The two stopped.

"What was that?"Neji asked. Sasuke stopped.

"Neji?"Sasuke asked. He lifted his blind fold as did Neji.

The widening look of horror in their eyes only grew as they jumped off eachother, and in unison screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Jumping on the roofs, Naruto could hear the screams of the raven haired men.

"Well, that was quick,"Naruto snickered pausing on a roof. "And they call themselves geniuses. Dumbasses."

The blond headed towards Iruka's house.

***

"Ungh, Kakashi,"Iruka moaned as Kakashi's lips continued to move down a kissing trail of his toned torso, tugging at the pants of the sensei.

Kakashi couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it...pinch the pervert because he's gettin laid! He must've said the right things during dinner.

Iruka meanwhile, in the back of his mind not clouded by the torturous pleasures of Kakashis hands as they toyed with his sensitive nipped, threw his hands in the air, the sign of victory as well.

"Does this feel good, Iruka?"Kakashi asked, flicking his tounge over the slit of the brunettes manhood.

"Mmm...yess,"groaned Iruka.

"What about this?"grinned Kakashi, as he licked a long trail from the base of his erection to the tip.

"More! Dont stop!"Iruka pleaded. Kakashi continued his menstrations.

"Kakashi,"lulled Iruka in a hot groan. "Just fuck me!"

Kakashi grinned widely.

***

"So...can guys place bets?"asked Lee out of nowhere.

"What? You wanna place a bet?"Sakura asked, brushing her short locks.

"...Maybe."

"Alrighty then. Who are you betting for?"asked Sakura. "And how much?"

"Of course I would always bet on my rival Neji to win!"Lee did a special pose, but Sakura ignored it.

"How much?"Sakura asked holding out her hand waiting for the money.

"Four thousand dollars!"Lee declared slapping some fat bills in front of Sakura who drooled over the money.

"You HAVE four thousand dollars?!"Sakura exclaimed quickly snatching the money and counting it. "You carry this much money on you?!"

Lee continued his pose.

Sakura sweatdropped. "Well thank you for your patronage."

***

Iruka rolled his hips as he continued to ride Kakashi, sweat sheening their adgile bodies. Kakashi's own hips thrust into Iruka, while his large hands wrapped around the dolphins waist guiding his motions.

The bed was rocking so hard that both men were suprised that it hadn't broken already. Iruka's hair was undone, something that Kakashi liked a lot, and the brunette continued to groan and moan the sexiest sounds the jounin had ever heard. Not to mention he was such an animal in the sack!

"Faster!"Iruka demanded, as Kakashi continued to strike his prostate gland. Kakashi did as he was commanded to do, all too eager to please. Iruka merely got louder as did Kakashi whose attempt to hold in the groans long since faded.

The tenant downstairs from Iruka, or better known as Asuma, looked down at his pants noting a growing bulge.

"Shit,"Asuma sighed, lighting up a cigarette.

"UGH HARDER!"Iruka nearly screamed as Kakashi wrapped one of his hands around his erection, pumping furiously.

"Iruka!"shouted out Kakashi, tossing his head back from the pleasure, feeling his completion near.

"Aghnnn!"Iruka replied unable to form a coherant sentence.

"OY, IRUKA-SENSEI, CAN I CRASH HERE FOR TONIGH-"

Iruka had already reached his climax as did Kakashi with a final thrust.

Basking in the afterglow, Iruka's vision soon cleared. He noticed Kakashi slap his hand to his head. Iruka turned around and noticed Naruto standing there, as redder than the color red and only getting redder. His blue eyes were wide and he seemed placed on pause as his body froze in place.

"NARUTO?!"Iruka nearly screamed gathering up the blankets and wrapping them around himself, moving his hips in the process and causing a slight groan from Kakashi, despite the perverted jounins attempts not to make a peep.

"I-I,"Naruto stuttered.

"I think he's broken,"Kakashi stated. Iruka gave him a glare and then turned back to Naruto whom he gave an apologetic grin towards.

"Uh...nice night eh, Naruto?"Iruka nervously chuckled.

"I'll just stay at Tsunade-samas tonight,"Naruto stated, starring into space. He slowly walked out the door and closed it.

Iruka let out a long breath and fell onto Kakashi's shoulder.

"Did he just say Tsunade-SAMA?"Kakashi asked.

"I think we did break him,"Iruka groaned into Kakashi's shoulder.

Kakashi paused and allowed silence to blanket the room.

"Wanna do it again?"Kakashi asked with a hopeful glance, only to get a pillow in the face from Iruka...followed by a passionate kiss.

***

"What are you doing brat?"Tsunade asked, shuffling her papers as Naruto laid on the couch in her office, covered in a blanket with wide eyes.

"I don't wanna talk about it..."

"Well, you can't stay in the office!"Tsunade exclaimed.

"I can't go home."

"Why don't you stay with Iruka-sensei?"Tsunade suggested.

Naruto began to cry.

"Erm..you can stay with me, I guess,"Tsunade corrected herself quickly.

"Can't I just stay here, for one night?"Naruto asked.

"No, because I'm expecting important visitors,"Tsunade stated, standing up and placing several files in a black cabinenet.

"Who?"Naruto asked.

"Naruto, I told you this about five days ago!"Tsunade exclaimed. "The Kazekage is visiting Konoha."

"Gaara's coming?"Naruto perked up.

"Yes! And his brother and sister, and a few escorts,"Tsunade stated.

"When's he going to be here?"asked Naruto.

"I'm already here."

***