Akatsuki Maddness

No seriously, how the fuck did this manage to go this far? *shrugs* Anyway this time around Zetsu gets some ^^ and Mr. Multi-heart [Kakuzu] and Undead-himself [Hidan] start a small bitch fight. But the most important part. DeiDei-kun snaps. Enjoy. =^.^=

Kakuzu: *RUNS*
Itachi: Oh man... my head...
Zetsu: Dude I didn't know you took pills.
Tobi: Meh *shrugs*
Hoshiko: KIT DROWNED?! *runs to Kit* NOOO!! BREATH DAMNIT! TToTT

Hidan: *pulls out a mag and starts reading while he's dragged*
Kisame: *holds up a unconcious Kit* Yup, drowned. She should really change species from fox to something with gills. *drops her on bank*
Kitsune: x_x
Deidara: Point un.......*hears shrieking* That sounded like Hoshiko-chan un. Should we bother going down un?
Sasori: Of corse I do, you think I could have stayed with this faction or with Deidara without being medicated in some shape or form?

Kakuzu: *stops running* Okay... far enough...
Itachi: Ow my head!
Zetsu: ...true...
Tobi: Okay.
Hoshiko: NOOO TT_TT What shall I do!? I don't wanna be the only female! *does medic-ninja stuff on Kit* Awaken!

Hidan: *looks up from his mag* Oh we've stopped?
Kisame: For the record.....this isn't my fault.
Kitsune: *kinda just jerks a bit* x_x
Deidara: *landing the bird* Kitsune-chan un! What happened un?! *glares at Kisame* What did you do to her un?
Sasori: Want some? I'm like totally wasted so everything just seems so great at the moment.

Kakuzu: Yes... I'm tired.
Itachi: *crawls out and falls in to the lake* Damnit...
Zetsu: *hold up hands* No, dude... it's okay...
Tobi: Noo! TT^TT
Hoshiko: *tries to push the water out of Kit's stomach*

Hidan: Oh, well you better sit down or something. You know rest a moment.
Kisame: ......Nothing. I swear. If you want me to do something I can drag her back into the water.
Kitsune: Glug.
Deidara: That didn't sound right un. Hoshiko-chan, aren't you ment to get it out of her lungs not her stomach un?
Sasori: *high off his rocker* That cool. Better be careful Hosh-chwan. :3 She might be pregnant or something, afterall she was getting close and friendly with Zetsu before.
Deidara: *looks at Sasori suspiciously* Zetsu-kun has Sasori-danna been taking pills again un?

Kakuzu: Yeah...
Itachi: Kisame!! Help I'm drowning!
Zetsu: *sweat drop* No...
Tobi: *moarns*
Hoshiko: WHO PASSED MEDIC CLASSES?! *looks around and tries to push water out of Kitsune's lungs*

Hidan: Lookit, there's a piece in here about that genocide we did last week.
Kisame: You really have to take swimming lessons Itachi-kun. *dives in and swims over to his rescue*
Kitsune: x_x
Deidara: *giving both Zetsu and Sasori sus looks* I took them but I never passed them un.
Sasori: *stares back at Dei* Problem?

Kakuzu: Shweet.
Itachi: :3
Zetsu: >_>
Tobi: *still moarning*
Hoshiko: Well I did... a little... *looks at Kit* Do you want me to mouth to mouth you?! WAKE THE F*CK UP!

Hidan: I don't believe it.......they spelt your name wrong. K. A. Z. U. K. U. How the f--k do they manage that!
Kisame: ......
Kitsune: ......
Kisame: Try slapping the bitch!
Deidara: Hmm.....*taps Kit's cheek*
Sasori: Aw, you limp wristed sissy give her a hard one.
Deidara: *growls and punches Sasori out* SHUT UP UN!! I KNOW YOU TOOK SOMETHING AND I'LL FIND OUT WHAT UUNN!! ><
Kisame: .....*sweatdrop* Dei snapped.

Kakuzu: *doom* I'll kill them.
Itachi: *grins* I'm enjoying this.
Zetsu: *sweat drop*
Tobi: *STILL moarning*
Hoshiko: Aight f*ck this. *Mouth to mouth resusitation here*

Hidan: Sidan? Who the f--k.......oh you can't be serious? How do they mistake Hidan for Sidan? IT'S A F--KING H NOT A S YOU ASS!! *growls* Let's kill 'em.
Kisame: ^^
Kitsune: O.O ..........*blinks*
Deidara: What did you take un?! Tell me un! ><
Sasori: Chill bitch.
Deidara: .......*silence* .......What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me. Un?
Hidan: *twitch* Something evil is nearby.

Kakuzu: ...
Itachi: o.o
Zetsu: Err... Deidara-san?
Tobi: *stops* o.o
Hoshiko: You wouldn't wake up!

Hidan: *shivers*
Kisame: *glup* He didn't just call Dei a......a.....
Kitsune: Arigato for saving me but did I just hear Sasori-danna call Deidara a bitch?
Deidara: *storms over to Hidan and holds his hand out* Now. Un.
Hidan: O.O Okay. *hands over scyth*
Sasori: *realising what he just said* ..........shit.

Kakuzu: Oh shit...
Itachi: Kisame... I'm worried.
Zetsu: *Backs away behind Kitsune*
Tobi: *shivers* Poor Sasori-san
Hoshiko: What? *looks around* Holy Crap Sasori... it was nice knowing yah. *pats shoulder*

Hidan: *grabs Kakuzu and whimpers*
Kisame: This is going to get messy.
Kitsune: *holds Zetsu* Oh Kami-sama.
Deidara: *advancing* How dare you call me that word un. You know it's taboo un.
Sasori: *backing away* I didn't mean it Deidara. ^^'' Really I didn't mean it.
Deidara: Too. Late. Un. *swings scyth at Sasori then gives chase* GGGRRRAAA!!
Sasori: OH SHIT!! *runs....fast....very....very....fast* ><

Kakuzu: D8
Itachi: *grins*
Zetsu: *huggles Kitsune* D:
Tobi: *whimpers*
Hoshiko: *shudders and gets video camera*

Hidan: *shudder*
Kisame: v_v *sigh* You're loving this aren't you Itachi?
Kitsune: O.O *still holding Zetsu*
Deidara: RRRRAAA.....oh snap un. *trips and falls flat on his face*
Sasori: *stops running* Whew.....safe.
Deidara: *pushing him self up* Grrr. *handseals* Doton: Retsudotenshô un.
Kitsune: Oh snap.
Sasori: Oh crap! *falls into the ground*

[note: Doton: Retsudotenshô or Earth Release: Split Earth Turn Around Palm. This technique causes the ground surronding the enemy to spiral inwards on itself, burying them alive or crushing them.]

Kakuzu: Ouchies...
Itachi: Muahahaha
Zetsu: Epp! *hugs Kitsune and Tobi*
Tobi: *sobs softly*
Hoshiko: Sasori-sama!

Hidan: Aw gees.
Kisame: That's gotta hurt.
Kitsune: O.O *holds Tobi as well* Why do I get that feeling of doom? Like DeiDei isn't finished yet?
Deidara: *evil laughter and more handseals* Doton: Iwayado Kuzushi un.
Kitsune: *as rocks fall down* WHERE THE F--K THAT CLIFF FACE COME FROM??!!
Sasori: O.....w....ch.....i.....

[note: Doton: Iwayado Kuzushi or Earth Release: Rock Lodging Destruction. This jutsu dislodges rocks above an opponent to crush them.]

Kakuzu: Oh shi-
Itachi: MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
Zetsu: D:
Tobi: TT___TT
Hoshiko: NOOO!!! *dives over Sasori*

Hidan: I can't believe he just did that.
Kisame: Oh for the love of mother, what next?
Kitsune: Hosh-chan! Don't do that you'll get taken out as well! Sasori-danna's used to dying! No offense.
Sasori: *underneath everything* None.....taken......
Deidara: *drops some spider bombs in hole* Katsu un!
*hugh explosion*
Sasori: ....Fin....ish....ed......?
Deidara: *smiling happily* Hai un.

Kakuzu: Oooh...
Itachi: *grins*
Zetsu: O__o
Tobi: *still sobbing*
Hoshiko: But I love him TToTT
Kakuzu & Zetsu & Tobi: Awwwww
Itachi: Bleugh...

Hidan: *took photos* ^^
Kisame: Nice finish.
Kitsune: That's sweet Hosh but didn't you say the same thing about Kiba-kun? *sweatdrop* I.....uh.....mean that Leaf-mutt.....ehehe....
Deidara: *pats Tobi*
Sasori: *is still in a steaming crater* @_@

Kakuzu: ...
Itachi: Leaf-mutt?
Zetsu: Hoshiko-chan?
Tobi: O___o
Hoshiko: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT KIBA-SAn! *coughs* I mean... Leaf-mutt...

Hidan: Leaf?..........
Kisame: Hosh-chan.....?
Kitsune: *palm to face* It's nothing, she.......um......*CHA-CHING!!* She was trying to kill him and you know how Hosh just loves to draw out peoples suffering well she was doing that but Shikamaru caught her and stuff........
Kisame: *frown* That wasn't the time you guys came back and you were basically carrying her was it?
Deidara: *whispering* Think quick Kit un.
Sasori: *yup still in the crater*
Kitsune: .......Hai?

Kakuzu: Hoshiko...
Itachi: *twitch*
Zetsu: *frowns* Hoshiko-chan.
Tobi: ...
Hoshiko: I didn't sleep with him I swear!
Everyone: ...

Hidan: .....
Kisame: O'reily? *grin*
Kitsune: *throws hands up in the air* I try and lie my ass off and she goes and ruins it! That's it! Zetsu! *drags him off*
Deidara: *sweatdrop* Is she.....going to do what I think she's going to do un?
Sasori: *crawling a few inches up the side of the hole*
Hidan: *shrug* You know how she gets when she's stressed.

Kakuzu: What is she going to do?
Itachi: *twitch*
Zetsu: ...
Tobi: ...
Hoshiko: But I still love Sasori moreeeee!!!

Hidan: Well you know that talk Deidara and Zetsu have repeatedly tried to have with Tobi? *hint hint*
Kisame: O.O
Kitsune: *disappears somewhere with Zetsu*
Deidara: Oh kami they are un. *hand to face*
Sasori: Pain......agony......
Deidara: Ew. I just slobbered myself un.

Kakuzu: o__o'
Itachi: Ew.
Zetsu: Err... Kit? What are we doing?
Tobi: ...the talk about babies? Are Kitsune and Zetsu-san going to make babies? Can I watch?
Hoshiko: *twitch* No Tobi. * walks beside Sasori and tries to help him up* Are you okay sama?

Hidan: *has a vision of hybrid fox plant babies and promtely falls over laughing*
Kisame: *pouting* But why the plant.......?
Kitsune: *still dragging Zetsu* To relieve some tension before I'm forced to do what Dei just did only worse........though I'd proberly do it to Itachi so there wouldn't be much problem......*drags him behind some rocks*
Deidara: *grabs Tobi* Iie Tobi-kun, lookit gummie bears un. *pulls another bag out of his sleeve*
Sasori: Arm......broken.......stop.....pulling......it........kudasai.....

Kakuzu: What?
Itachi: =__=
Zetsu: ...I don't want angry sex...
Tobi: Nummies! *dives on Deidara*
Hoshiko: Gomen! *stops pulling* Hold on *does medical Ninjutsu on Sasori's arm*

Hidan: Just imagined what a fox plant hybrid would look like. ^^
Kisame: .......
Kitsune: It won't be angry trust me Zetsu-kun. ^^ We'll have great fun. *dives onto Zetsu behind the rocks*
::NEXT SCENE HAD BEEN CENSORED FOR WTFNESS::
Deidara: O.O .............*can see some because of his scope*
Sasori: *testing arm* Wow, not a bad job on the arm Hosh.....what about my spine now?

Kakuzu: ... *rolls on the floor laughing*
Itachi: Why do I feel dirty...
Zetsu: *is busy*
Tobi: I feel sick...
Hoshiko: ^^ *starts on Sasori's spine*

Hidan: ^^
Kisame: Dirty while in the water? No idea, you still hung over?
Kitsune: *is busy*
Deidara: *rubs eyes and snuggles beside Tobi* My therapist is going to crack when she hears this un.
Sasori: Gah.......I think you missed a vertabre........and maybe my shoulder blade.

Kakuzu: *still laughing*
Itachi: ...yes...
Zetsu: *busy*
Tobi: ^^ *pats and gives gummy bears*
Hoshiko: *picks Sasori up and lays on flat on the ground, preforming medical Ninjutsu on his whole body* Stay still. After the I'm going to give you a massage to help your muscles.

Hidan: ^^
Kisame: Expected.
Kitsune: *busy......very busy*
Deidara: *eating gummie bears and huggling Tobi*
Sasori: Puuurrrr.........X3

Kakuzu: :'D
Itachi: Can we go on land now? I'm cold...
Zetsu: *Why does Hoshiko even bother to post his name at the moment?*
Tobi: :3
Hoshiko: ^^ *starts to massage Sasori gently*

Hidan: Wonder if it would have bother their abilities? ^^
Kisame: Fine. *swims to shore*
Kitsune: *I was thinking the same thing Hosh*
Deidara: :3
Sasori: Oooohhhh........*is in bliss*

Kakuzu: ...that would be weird...
Itachi: *climbs on the surface and takes off clothes* Need to dry off... *handseals* Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu. *dries clothes off*
Zetsu: *yup*
Tobi: Hehe ^^
Hoshiko: There... all done ^^ How do you feel?

Hidan: It would be wouldn't it? A fox able to control plants......
Kisame: *shakes himself off, what he's coldblooded*
Kitsune: *you know the drill*
Deidara: Eh? ^^
Sasori: *ish snoozing totally relaxed. flops on the ground still alseep* Zzzzz

Kakuzu: Yeah...
Itachi: *dries hair and puts clothes back on*
Zetsu: *lalalala*
Tobi: Hehe, Sasori-san fell asleep.
Hoshiko: *sweat drop* Sasori-sama? *shakes gently*

Hidan: Hmm. Maybe we should stop them.
Kisame: *standing in the sun*
Kitsune: *........*
Deidara: Aw. Poor Sasori-danna.
Sasori: Ngh......Zzzzzz.

Kakuzu: *looks at watch* That was quick...
Itachi: *sits down*
Zetsu: *appears fully dressed and clears throat*
Tobi: Hiya Zetsu-kun!
Hoshiko: *looks up* Hey you two... keep your voices down because Sasori-sama is asleep.

Hidan: *looks at Kakuzu's watch* Actually they were fourty-five minutes, more then plenty of time to.......
Kisame: Gah! Dude, no just........no.
Kitsune: Hm. Aw poor Sasori-danna.
Deidara: *plots using a foghorn for about three seconds before deciding her already got enough punishment.*
Sasoir: Zzzzz

Kakuzu: ...Hidan you're an idiot.
Itachi: *blocks ears* Lalalalalalaaa
Zetsu: I'm tired now...
Tobi: Aww poor Zetsu-san.
Hoshiko: Isn't he sweet when he's sleeping? *hugs Sasori gently*

Hidan: Hn.
Kisame: *thinks of stealing Sasori's meds*
Kitsune: Ya, me too. *promtely falls asleep against Zetsu*
Deidara: Sleep jutsu un?
Sasori: Zzzzz

Kakuzu: Yeah...
Itachi: Lalala...
Zetsu: *falls on the floor asleep*
Tobi: *blinks*
Hoshiko: Iie, you always feel sleepy after you've done it. *strokes Sasori*

Hidan: *goes asleep sitting up* Hn.
Kisame: Itachi, you can stop now.
Kitsune: Zzzzz
Deidara: Weird un.
Sasori: Zzzzzz

Kakuzu: OI! HIDAN!
Itachi: *unblocks ears* What?
Zetsu: Zzzz
Tobi: I'm tired now...
Hoshiko: Well, it's logical really. Wake up Sasori, my legs are going dead and I'm hungry!

Hidan: *snaps teeth at Kakuzu's fingers*
Kisame: Gees, he's been hanging around me and Zetsu too much.
Kitsune: Zzzz
Deidara: Threaten his puppets un. That always makes him wake uo.
Sasori: Ng.........Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Kakuzu: Ow!
Itachi: What? What did I do?
Zetsu: Zzzz
Tobi: Aww.
Hoshiko: I can't do that! That's mean! O__o Sasori-sama let go of my boobs!

Hidan: ^^
Kisame: Nothing..............yet.
Kitsune: Zzzzz
Deidara: I know it's mean un. But seriously it works, just say I have your Ma or something they'll get him up un.
Sasori: Hmm......Boobies......Zzzzzz

Kakuzu: Meanie ;o;
Itachi: ...okay...
Zetsu: Zzzz...
Tobi: Hehe, Sasori-san! Deidara is breaking your puppets!
Hoshiko: *blush* OFF!

Hidan: Baby.
Kisame: Hm.
Kitsune: Zzzzz
Deidara: *holding up a scroll* Oi Sasori-danna, I've got your Ma un. No literally I'm holding her right here un.
Sasori: *snaps awake* Gomen! My puppets! Ma?! *stares at Dei* You bastard.

Kakuzu: ...Ugly...
Itachi: Hn.
Zetsu: Zzz...
Tobi: ^^
Hoshiko: Thanks Deidara! *gets up* Come on Sasori, I'm going for food, I'll pay for you too. Then... I'mma getting in to the hot spring! ^^

Hidan: Bitch.
Kisame: .....
Kitsune: *sitting up* Did I hear hot springs? M'like hot springs. *rubs eyes cutely*
Deidara: ^^
Sasori: Hm....Fine. Deidara give my Mother back!
Deidara: ^^ Nope un.

Kakuzu: ^^ Whore
Itachi: *looks around bored*
Zetsu: *slumps on floor* Zzz...
Tobi: Tobi loves hot springs!
Hoshiko: *sweat drop* Sure.

Hidan: ^^ Scank
Kisame: *watching Hidan and Kakuzu*
Kitsune: *flops over Zetsu sleepily* Zetsu-koi......come to the hot springs.
Sasori: Give me my Mother back you little......maniac.
Deidara: Flirt un. ^^ But you're still not getting her back un.
Sasori: Shit.

Kakuzu: Slut.
Itachi: *does the same*
Zetsu: NO! zzzz...
Tobi: o__o
Hoshiko: *sweat drops again* Deidei, give him back his mother or I'll hurt you.

Hidan: Fairy.
Kisame: *doing the tennis match thing*
Kitsune: *glares* I won't do that thing you like ever again plant-boy. *shaking Zetsu* You like water and you can sleep in it I don't mind.
Deidara: But she was going to teach me how to sew properly un.
Sasori: .......You've been talking with my Mother? She......uh......hasn't been talking about me has she?
Deidara: Hai, and we looked at your baby photos last week un. You're so kawaii Sasori-danna.
Sasori: O.O ........*lunges* Give my Mother back Dei!