Can I See Your Package

Can I See Your Package
Part 12

Ok so first I would just like to apologize to everyone who has been waiting for this next part. I recently moved from my apartment that I lived in for 12 ½ years into a house so there was a lot of shit to pack and move then unpack, it’s been crazy But now I’m mostly settled so I can continue my fic, so enjoy

Warning: It’s been a while so I’ll just say there is a lot of adult content and should be marked with a parental advisory or something because it is cracked out...
Pairings: Lee/Gaara, slight Kisame/Itachi, mention of others that I am too lazy to write here
Rating: NC-17 of course

Previously on CISYP....

~~~“He wants to get away from you morons for a little. You’re all obsessed with his penis and I’m tired of it. This is mine!” He pointed to Lee’s crotch as he shouted. “You hear that, it’s mine Mine ” He began to laugh maniacally causing Lee, Sakura, and everyone within a ten foot radius to back up.

“Lovey...Why don’t we just go now ok?” Lee quickly grabbed Gaara who was still laughing and dragged him away. Oh yeah, it was going to be fun getting out of this village...

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Gaara had finally stopped laughing and Lee couldn’t be happier, his lover could be scary when he laughed. The black haired ninja also realized that subconsciously he had started walking with his bag in front of his crotch. Apparently having his boy friend yell out to the world that his manhood belonged only to the red head made Lee just a little paranoid. Sometimes he felt his ginormous penis was a curse, it called for attention and it also made his lover practically grab it in public to make a point, it was hard....ok bad choice of words but whatever...

“Lee, We never really discussed where we were going did we?” Lee looked at Gaara then snapped his fingers.

“Damn I knew I forgot something!” Gaara looked at his lover and could feel the annoyingly big sweat drop on the back of his head. “Well were should we go? I think we should go somewhere were we can relax with privacy! I know Lets go to that knew resort that opened up!” Gaara blinked his eyes a few times, wasn’t a resort a place were a ~shit load~ of people went to ‘relax?’ How the hell was that privacy?? Lee noticed the hesitation and suddenly he was in his good guy pose his thumb practically up Gaara’s nose. “You can trust me Gaara lovey I’ll take care of you and we’ll have a good time ” Gaara nodded figuring he should just let his lover talk. They walked down the dirt road, well Lee was skipping and picking the flowers on the side of the road...and was that a flower crown on his head? ...Gaara sighed as he watched his lover jump around and start talking to the damn squirrels again.

“Oh Lee what have those bastards in Konoha done to you...” Lee turned at the sound of his name and smiled widely.

“What was that panda?” Gaara shook his head as the green clad ninja continued to flitter across the road. Gaara really didn’t have any idea where this new resort was so he really hoped Lee was actually leading the way and not just prancing around pretending to know where they were headed. “Oi Gaara lovey do you think I can take one of these squirrels home? They really seem to like me!” Gaara shook his head and glared.

“No Lee you can not keep that diseased animal, plus it’s only after you for your nuts.” Lee turned to Gaara holding a walnut in his hand.

“Well at least he’s not after me for my penis, ~that~ would be embarrassing.” Gaara loved this man, he really did but what the ~fuck~ drugs was he on? Gaara sighed as Lee placed a flower crown onto the tiny creatures head then turned to the red head. “Would you like one Gaara? I’m going to make one for Gai-Sensei too!” Gaara rolled his eyes and suddenly a huge sand fist punched the squirrel back into the woods leaving a few flower petals in it’s wake. Lee turned around. “Now where did that silly squirrel go?” Gaara could have cried right then and there, what had happened to his lover, he used to be so....well he wasn’t this bad How can just the sight of one man’s cash and prizes (1) cause a whole town to go completely insane with desire and his lover to become a complete fairy? It just wasn’t fair Gaara sighed as Lee walked up to him. “Are you alright love?” Gaara looked up at Lee and cupped his cheeks gently.

“Lee, do you love me?” Lee blinked a few times.

“Of course Why would you....” Just then Lee was knocked upside his head by a giant sand fist. Gaara sat with the now unconscious Lee in his lap.

“Now when you wake up, please be yourself, you are driving me fucking crazy!” Surprisingly, Gaara didn’t feel all too bad about knocking his lover out, hell it gave Gaara a few minutes to himself and hopefully it’d get Lee back on track.

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It was about an hour later when Lee finally started to move, Gaara didn’t realize he hit him so hard...oops... Anyway as Lee opened wide dark eyes he looked at Gaara.

“Gaara...What happened?” Gaara thought about it for a second and thought it may be better to stretch the truth a bit.

“You tripped and fell, how is your head?” Ok so he totally lied, but it probably wouldn’t be the best idea to tell his lover he knocked him out because he was being too much of a pansy to stand. Lee was rubbing his head.

“Well I’ve felt better, are you sure I tripped, it feels like I should get the licence plate of the bus that just hit me.” Gaara touched the back of Lee’s head.

“You’ll feel better once we get some rest. Um Lee love do you want a flower crown?” Lee looked confused at first then put a hand to Gaara’s forehead.

“Are you sure I wasn’t the only one who hit my head?” Gaara smiled slightly.

“Is that a no?” Lee frowned.

“Gaara love I may be gay but I really don’t think I need to go and wear a flower crown now....” Gaara wept a little at that one sentence and hugged Lee to him tightly. Lee gasped and tried to break away. “G-Gaara! Can’t b-breathe!” Gaara smiled and let go of Lee.

“You’re ok!” Lee nodded slowly.

“Gaara... are you ok??” Gaara nodded happily and jumped up.

“I’m fantastic lets go to the resort!” Lee sat up and then slowly stood. His head pounding.

“Gaara, you know I had the scariest dream, I dreamt that Kakashi-sensei was chasing Gai-sensei with a rolling pin and then Neji was there trying to look a my....well my manhood...it was creepy.” Gaara blinked and turned back to face Lee who was rubbing his head.

“Oh crap....”

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Lee was not very happy to find out that Gaara had knocked him out to get him to stop flaming around but what was worse is that his scary dream wasn’t a dream. That silver haired freak actually chased Gai with ~their~ rolling pin and Neji really was after his penis. Apparently Lee hadn’t been himself for a while and Gaara had enough so he punched him in the head. What kind of trust was that in a relationship?! Not that Lee really blamed his lover, hell Lee was pretty much going crazy there for a while. Making flower crowns and skipping? Seriously he was surprised Gaara didn’t hit him in the head sooner, like when he was too scared to check downstairs at the house because the guy might have had a ~weapon?~ that’s just sad. But at least Gaara seemed happy considering he was smiling and holding Lee’s hand tightly. Lee just shrugged, hey whatever made the red head happy and not homicidal must be a good thing....flower crowns?? That’s just wrong....

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Gaara looked around and frowned as they walked closer to the ‘resort’.

“Lee you call ~that~ a resort, it looks like someone glued some sticks together....” Lee shrugged.

“The brochure looked nice, I can’t help if they had false advertising...” Gaara and Lee walked up to it.

“Let’s set it on fire, it’ll make a better fire then resort.” Gaara gave his little evil laugh which caused Lee to gulp audibly.

“Um...lovey why don’t we just see what’s inside ok?” They walked in the door, which after they passed it, it fell off it’s hinges and brought down half the wall with it. “Ok so maybe the rooms nicer...” Gaara glared as they walked up to the desk. There was an old rusted bell on the counter.

“I think I need a tetanus shot just by looking at it.” Lee nodded as he looked around.

“Um hello? Is anyone here?” There was loud bang and suddenly a black, blue, and red ball rolled down the stairs, well actually it rolled down the first three then broke into the other steps leaving it stuck in the middle of the staircase.

“Ouch...” Lee looked at the ~thing~ that rolled down the steps and realized it was a person. Actually he recognized it as that shark bastard who hung out with Sasuke’s incestuous brother or something like that.

“You deserved that Kisame.” Speak of the devil, the Sasuke look-alike walked down the stairs stepping over Kisame and walking to the counter. What was up with everyone wanting to look like Sasuke anyway? “What do you want?” Lee turned towards the door but Gaara grabbed his arm, he was glaring at the black haired man.

“Who are you to talk to me that way?” Lee’s eyes widened as Gaara questioned the older man. Oh great, ~now~ Gaara feels like fighting....Itachi glared and looked at the red head.

“Um Itachi, remember we are trying to run a business!” Lee looked at the man/shark/thing that was trying to get out of the stairs.

“Your running a resort?” Itachi turned his permanent glare onto Lee.

“It’s not a resort. It’s a mom and pop breakfast house.” Gaara rolled his eyes and folded his arms. Lee almost laughed he couldn’t help but wonder which one was mom....

“Needs some work if you ask me.” Lee sweat dropped as the two older men glared, well Gaara glared Itachi just looked.

“Um Gaara perhaps we should go...” Gaara shrugged and turned to walk away.

“Wait! We’ll let you try it for free if you stay for a bit!” Gaara glared and turned back to the big fish-like guy.

“I don’t think so, it looks like the only thing your ready to feed are the termites, which you have one in your hair.” Lee jumped as there was a loud shriek as the big blue man slapped at his hair.

“Ahh!!Get it off! Get it off Itachi!!” The shorter man just stood there watching his partner, or whatever, jump around. Gaara turned towards Lee.

“We’re going to Suna for vacation ok?” Lee nodded as he quickly raced out of the broken down building, as he did he heard a loud crash and saw that half the roof collapsed. Gaara was smirking as he led the way towards Suna’s boarders. Wow this was definitely going to be a vacation to remember.

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Gaara smiled as he saw the sand getting closer. Ok so they weren’t really prepared for a trip through the desert but that never stopped Gaara, he would be just fine. Of course there was his lover that he had to consider which is why he decided to follow Lee into the little shop. He waited as Lee bought water and some other necessities. Gaara just wanted to go home He wanted to go play in his sandbox...er...right moving on....

“Gaara do you think we’ll need blankets for tonight?” Gaara shrugged.

“Not really if it gets cold we can always have sex for body warmth.” Lee’s jaw pretty much unhinged from the rest of his face as all the blood in his body rushed to his face. He glanced over at the shopkeeper who was grinning trying to keep his laughter down. There was also an old lady who was mumbling to herself about ‘kids these days’ and some such nonsense. Gaara walked over to Lee and handed him a bottle of suntan lotion. “What’s wrong?” Lee who’s brain seemed to have shorted out did the classic anime fall with his legs sticking up in the air. Gaara rolled his eyes and picked up the basket Lee had dropped. He stepped over his lover and put the basket on the counter and pulled out his change purse. (His was ~not~ a frog He was much manlier then that pain in the ass who, by the way, ~still~ wore that goofy night cap.) So he pulled out his little panda change purse. (Shut up that was totally a gift from Lee) and began pulling out some coins.

“Um is your uh..friend going to be ok?” Gaara looked over on the ground where Lee was still twitching on the ground.

“He’ll be fine, he does it all the time, doctors say he’ll grow out of it eventually.” The shopkeeper looked over to Lee and shrugged.

“Ok well you two have a nice day!” Gaara nodded as he turned. He looked over at his lover and lightly kicked him.

“C’mon Lee time to go.” Lee seemed to snap out of it and jumped up trying not to make eye contact with the grinning owner or the glaring old lady.

“Gaara I can’t believe you said that in front of those people!” Gaara looked over to Lee and sighed.

“What does it matter? You’ll probably never see them again, and even if you do, at least you can brag that you are getting some. Now come on I want to get to Suna as soon as possible.” Lee frowned and followed his lover like a kicked puppy.

“But Gaara...that’s embarrassing!” Gaara turned and kissed Lee passionately, Lee didn’t resist very long as he wrapped his arms around his lover. As they broke apart Gaara smirked.

“Is it really all that bad?” Lee shook his head and kissed Gaara shortly.

“We should get going.” Gaara nodded and turned around leading the way. Yay He was going home

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(1) I must thank Dane Cook for that phrase

A/N: Ok so next chapter they are going to go to Suna! Well maybe, I’m thinking up a bunch of things that could happen in the desert so we’ll see. Oh and I might make the next chapter smutty not like that’s new or anything but whatever.

So I’m still getting fixed up in my new place so I’ll try to update soon but I can’t promise it’ll be in the next few days I’ll try my hardest though. So let me know what you think