Crazy Daze

XII

The opening speeches were long and painful. Crap everyone had heard before, but like courtroom proceedings go, it had to be heard again. Over and over. Like the Chatty Kathy from hell. So I played shadow puppets under the table and got elbowed by Sasuke a few times until we were finally allowed a chance to breathe before witnesses were called and questioned and cross-examined. People were called up to explain evidence and photographs, and then Sasuke was called up to be grilled.

The way the lawyers moved reminded me of sharks in a frenzy, scenting blood and rushing for the kill. Answer the question, get blind-sided by the same question, just rephrased. Yes, no, maybe so. It was like a carousel nobody wanted to ride. I could feel Amada’s eyes on me, pressuring me to lie. Hah, go fuck yourself, bastard.

- Why lie? The jury’s seen enough for an acquittal. – Kyuubi said dryly, unamused.

“An acquittal should’ve happened a long time ago,” I whispered aloud. Itachi shot me a glance and I refused to meet it, deciding on a sullen look. It wasn’t completely false. I didn’t really want to be here, but I had to be, if I wanted Sasuke back. After what was like an hour, Sasuke finally got to leave the stand and sit back down next to me. And then I got called up. I strode up, swore on the good book, and said my soft hellos to the bailiff and judge before I sat down. Then I began to get grilled, but I wasn’t alone. Kyuubi helped me answer, again and again. Amada’s face was turning red and I made myself look as cute as possible. I mean, I was still a kid. I couldn’t cry on a dime, but I could sure as hell get sympathy.

“Uzumaki-kun, please tell this court one more time what Uchiha-kun told you,” Itachi’s lawyer was saying.

“He told me Itachi didn’t do it. He told me someone called Madara did it.”

- Somehow… I think there’s going to be trouble. -

Yeah. Amada’s pissed.

- This is not going to be a good day. -

I don’t think so.

There was yelling, arguing, and I clenched my fists to keep from making things worse. I knew I could do it, too, just fuck everything up and lose everything. I bit my tongue hard, over and over, until I could taste blood. The fighting was escalating and I was about to jump up, to yell for everyone to just shut up, when a hammer hit wood, loud and deadly serious. Then everything quieted. Quickly.

“This is a courtroom, not a classroom.” The judge was saying. “You’ve heard everything this boy’s had to say, all the evidence. Enough now. Closing statements, and we’ll get on with this.”

Kyuubi helped me walk from the stand back to my chair, and I slid down to the seat, swallowing something metallic tasting. Sasuke took my hand and squeezed. I returned the touch and clutched onto him, bowing my head and letting out a huge, quiet sigh.

“You okay?” Sasuke whispered. I gave him a weak smile.

- Want me to tell him? -

No. No, I can do it.

“I will be. I just hope we win.”

“We have to.”

“I hope.”

Sasuke flashed me a glare, as though to say ‘How dare you say that?’ It took all my willpower to clutch his hand and keep it in mine, trying to convey via osmosis how I felt. See the thing with trials was that no matter how much evidence you presented, no matter how many witnesses you called, the final decision rested with judge and jury. You could be completely innocent, but some jerkoff on the jury decided you looked funny, then that was probably grounds for maximum punishment.

- It doesn’t make any sense. -

They say justice is blind.

- And corrupt. -

When’d they say that?

- Dunno. Just fit. -

Finally the jury left the room, and we were stuck listening to the buzz of conversation around us. People were going on about how Itachi was guilty or not guilty, about dinner, about their mundane insignificant lives. It made me pretty angry, honestly. I knew people derive their pleasure from other people’s pain, but it’s sickening. It’s so funny until it happens to you, and you’re under the microscope, with all your secrets broadcast to the public. Then it isn’t funny anymore.

- But no one ever learns. -

No one ever will.

“Naruto?”

“No matter what happens,” I whispered, “I love you.”

Sasuke was awfully silent for a long while, cheeks ruby red, before he bowed his head and smiled. “I love you, too,”

He squeezed my hand and I clutched back, harder when the jury returned. They were grim-faced, ready to chum the waters with their verdict. Sasuke looked just shy of panicking and I held tighter to him, just to try and calm him down. It didn’t stop my own dread from choking me, and I stared at that slip of paper held by one woman, the jury’s representative. She stood up, flicked the paper a few times, and waited for silence before she began to speak. I closed my eyes.

“We the jury–”

I didn’t want to listen.

“–find the defendant–”

Tension was building in my muscles, in my grip.

“–not guilty.”

I sagged in the chair, eyes still closed tight even as Sasuke hugged my brains out. There was all sorts of noise, but it didn’t matter. It was just noise, just white noise, because we’d won. Sasuke hugged me tighter before he let go to hug his brother, and I fell back to my chair.

- What’s wrong? –

Now that Itachi’s cleared, Sasuke’s going to leave.

- And? -

He’ll go live with Itachi.

- And? -

I’ll never see him again.

- …Oh. -

I looked over at the triage of Kisame, Itachi, and Sasuke, and tried to fake a smile. I was happy for him. Really happy. But now there was no room for me, not anymore. I stood up and looked at Amada, finding him just as miserable as I.

I moved over to him and stood there until he noticed me. We stared at each other for a long while before he finally nodded and got to his feet. With a hand on my shoulder, we walked from the courtroom to the car, and he drove me back to the ward. I didn’t bother to greet anyone, not even Gaara, and collapsed on my bed in my room. I closed my eyes and tried to dream.
Except, I had no dreams any longer. They were shattered on the spike of loneliness a long time ago.