Explosions of Emotion

When Sasori and Deidara arrived at home, it was a great surprise to Sasori that a majority of the Akatsuki was out on missions. Leader was gone, of course, along with Konan. Kakuzu and Hidan were packing for a mission, and Itachi and Kisame were no where to be found. The only person who was there was Tobi, who should have been with Zetsu, but was forced to stay behind. Zetsu insisted that the ‘dim-witted runt’ was too noisy and not much of a partner.



Sasori suddenly found himself wishing he’d been partnered with Zetsu instead. He never would have developed feelings for that overgrown venus flytrap, not to mention he and Zetsu had very similar mannerisms and both liked their space. They would have been perfect partners, but no, Sasori had to go and get stuck with Deidara.



“Sasori-danna, it’s so odd for things to be this quiet, don’t you think?”



Deidara stretched out his arms and looked at the pale blue sky above them.



Sasori shook his head. “Not really. It must be time to go after the Kyuubi’s Jinchuuriki, since everyone is gone.”



“Well, we have the whole place to ourselves, un,” Deidara nudged Sasori playfully with his elbow. “This wouldn’t be a bad time to have a bit of fun.”



“No exploding things, Deidara,” said Sasori with a sigh. Why did Deidara always have to bring up his art? Sasori rubbed his temple with his thumb. One good thing about being turned into a puppet would be no headaches.



With a chuckle, Deidara leaned in closer to Sasori, nipping his earlobe. “I was thinking about making you explode, Sasori-danna. With everyone gone, we could be as loud as we want, un.”



Sasori shivered as he felt Deidara’s teeth on his skin before pushing his partner away. “No, Deidara. I’m not in the mood.”



Deidara tutted his tongue and sulked. He hated it when Sasori would sleep with him, then push him away. It got very tiresome and old, and Deidara planned on telling Sasori just that. As soon as he knew that Sasori wouldn’t kill him, that is.



“Sasori-danna, what’s wrong with you?”



Sasori glared at Deidara, who winced and recoiled.



“It’s nothing, Deidara.”



“I don’t believe you, Sasori-danna,” said Deidara, grabbing ahold of Sasori’s wrist and pulling the shorter man back. “Nothing bothers you, so the fact that you are actually bothered has be concerned.”



Sasori grumbled against Deidara’s chest. It was so hard to be irate and frustrated when he had his head rested on the blond’s chest.



“I mean it, Deidara, I’m fine.”



Deidara tutted his tongue again, and, cupping Sasori’s face in his hands, kissed his lips gently. “You better be, un. A grumpy Sasori-danna is not healthy to be around.”



Sasori simply looked at Deidara, unsure about whether he should be shocked at the density of the blond’s brain, or if he should pulled Deidara’s lips back to his and kiss him more. No, things couldn’t keep going the way they were. Sasori had to put a stop to it.



“No, Deidara. Which is why you can’t be around me any more,” Sasori said firmly. He couldn’t allow any sort of remorse or regret to be heard in his voice. To do so would ruin everything.



Deidara frowned, his blond brows furrowing together. “What do you mean, Sasori-danna? I’m confused.”



“Well, I’m not.” Sasori crossed his arms. He had to do it, and he had to do it firmly, otherwise, Deidara wouldn’t never believe him. “Listen, Deidara, I know that you and I have done some things-”



“Sasori-danna, we’ve done everything,” said Deidara uncertainly, his voice shaking.



“And I know I’ve said some things,” continued Sasori, his brown eyes turning colder. “But the thing is, Deidara, I was not thinking clearly when I said them.”



“S-Sasori-danna, you don’t mean that-”



“Deidara, I do, and let me finish.”



The sight of Deidara at that moment was a difficult thing for Sasori to process mentally. His blue eyes were glossy, and, although Deidara did his best to hide it, his bottom lip shook terribly.



“I meant well by what I said, but the fact is, I just cannot be with you any more, Deidara.”



Deidara looked away, biting his tongue as he did so. Deep down, he knew that this would happen, that things were too good to be real. “Why, Sasori-danna? I know you love me, un. No one could feign something by saying it the way you did.”



“I thought I felt that way about you, Deidara, but I was obviously wrong.”



Deidara shook his head. “No, Sasori-danna. There is a reason for what you’re doing and I want to know why, un. Tell me why you won’t stay with me, Sasori-danna!”



Sasori flinched at the words. He could never tell Deidara why. No, it would hurt Deidara too much to know that Sasori was slowly losing his humanity, but Deidara would stay with him anyway. It would be too cruel for Sasori to put Deidara through that.



“I just cannot stay with you, Deidara. You wouldn’t be able to understand. You deserve someone better than me-”



“Sasori that is the most cliche line in the book!” Deidara wiped the tears off his face with the back of his hand. “No, Sasori-danna, there’s a real reason, and an important one. I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t do something like this without a reason.”



Sasori felt the anger rise up in his chest. It wasn’t because Deidara had insulted him. It was because Deidara was absolutely right about all of it. He’d let his partner get too close to him, and what was worse, he fell in love with his partner.



“Normally, I would say that you’re right, Deidara, but this time you’re wrong. My mind was clouded and it was a mistake. I never should have let things get as far as they did, and it was all my fault.”



His cheeks flushed pink with anger, Deidara poked Sasori firmly in the shoulder. “I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, un, but it was you who crawled into my bed naked that first night, Sasori-danna!”



“And I told you that it was a mistake to do so, Deidara. I never should have slept with you.”



Deidara inhaled, his shoulders rising and making him seem taller than he already was. “Right, well, at least you own up to your mistakes, Sasori-danna. I’ll move out. I’m sure Tobi wouldn’t mind some company while Zetsu is gone, un. Once Leader comes back, I’ll tell him.”



“Deidara, you don’t need to move out-” Sasori reached out and held onto Deidara’s arm.



Deidara looked down at his former lover coldly, his blue eyes like ice and sending chills through Sasori.



“No, Sasori-danna, I do need to move out. Wouldn’t want you coming under my covers for some make up sex, now would I, un? I think I can take care of myself.” Deidara shook Sasori’s hand off his arm and with a turn on his heal, headed back to his and Sasori’s place to retrieve his belongings, leaving Sasori alone.



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By the time Sasori had returned to his and Deidara’s house, Deidara had already left, a majority of his belongings either taken or packed away. On the table was a note from Deidara. As Sasori picking it up, his throat seemed to get smaller, making it hard to breathe, almost as if he’d swallowed a tea cup.



Sasori-danna,



I’ve gone to Tobi’s, just in case you’ve forgotten. You can always reach me there if you need anything, but judging from the circumstances, I doubt you will.



-Deidara



Sasori tried not to focus on the handwriting. He’d only seen Deidara’s handwriting once, and it surprised him how adult like Deidara could be when he was really irritated.



Placing the note back down on the table, Sasori made his way to Deidara’s room, just to see if Deidara was really gone. Sure enough, the bed was made, the clay was gone, and the room was just as vacant as it had been the day that Sasori awoken to find Orochimaru gone. There was a different feeling this time, though. When Orochimaru left, Sasori felt a bit of relief. Now, he had a crushing pain in his chest and his head was hurting terribly.



Sasori collapsed onto Deidara’s bed, wrapping the covers around his small body, taking in the feeling of what he could, trying to ignore that suffocating pain. He remembered so much; all the wonderful dreams he had in that bed with Deidara’s arms wrapped around his waist, the kisses. It was just too much for Sasori to even be in that bed, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. His body began to shake as he wrapped his arms around one of the pillows and pulled it against him. If Sasori had been able to cry, the pillow would have long before been soaked with his tears. However, crying was the first piece of his humanity that he’d lost.



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Deidara was grateful towards Tobi, especially since Tobi didn’t ask questions as to why Deidara needed a place to stay when, technically, he had his own home. It was then that Deidara figured that the whole Akatsuki probably knew that he and Sasori were together. Ever since Sasori started having civil conversations on a regular basis it was suspected that he had been sleeping with Deidara.



“I was such an idiot,” Deidara growled as he hit the wall of the shower with the palm of his hand. The water was scalding hot, fitting his mood. He didn’t even mind the fact that he would probably have burns on his skin. Actually, that only made him increase the temperature of the water, hissing through his teeth as the scalding water ran down his back.



“Why did I even think that Sasori-danna would even care about me in the first place?” Deidara’s stomach clenched at the thought. He grabbed the bottle of shampoo he’d brought with him, squirted some gel into the palm of his hand and ran it through his hair. It wasn’t as if Sasori could ever really have cared about him. No one could be that blank when crushing someone’s feelings in their hands and still have a heart.



Deidara rinsed his hair, massaging the suds out of his long tresses. He was so dumb to have fallen for Sasori. Leader would probably still make them work together since they were “such a good team.” He turned off the faucet and dried himself down with a towel, looking at his reflection in the fogged up mirror.



His eyes were swollen from crying, and he just looked like crap overall. At least Tobi was understanding and comforting, as much as he could be that is. Deidara swallowed passed that lump in his throat. No, he wouldn’t cry any more. Sasori would think he was wimpy if he were to cry. Crying was pitiful! Deidara growled and rammed his hand into the wall repeatedly until he heard the cracking of bones.



“I’m better than this,” Deidara hissed as he looked down at his bloody hand. There was blood on the tile wall, which was easily wiped away with Deidara’s towel. With his arm at his side, his hand hanging limply, Deidara headed out to find Tobi. He couldn’t let his hand go unattended.



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“That was a silly thing to do, Deidara-senpai,” said Tobi as he tended to Deidara’s hand.



“Shut up, Tobi. You couldn’t possibly understand why I did it, un.”



“It was because of Sasori, right, Deidara-senpai? You shouldn’t let him get to you, he has a lot on his mind it seems.”



Deidara looked away from Tobi, wincing as the orange-masked man dabbed at Deidara’s bleeding hand with a antiseptic-soaked cotton ball. It stung a lot, but at least someone wasn’t treating Deidara like a child.



“Maybe it is, un. He doesn’t want to share what’s going on with me anyway, so it isn’t like it matters.”



Tobi shrugged and began bandaging Deidara’s wounds. “You should just give him time, Deidara-senpai. Sasori’s not used to being around people. You kind of gave him a crash course, you know.”



Deidara chuckled. “Right. Well, thanks for everything anyway, Tobi, un.”



“No problem, senpai.”



Deidara frowned. “And can you quit calling me ‘senpai’?”



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Author's note: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up! I had it written, but I totally forgot to add it on here. *sobs* Please remember to review!