Double Edged

Song Reference: Lay Down The Law

Artist: Switches

Lyrics: Now the door is open/Open for me/Coz I caught her looking/And her lips are itching/Itching for me/Coz I caught her looking/We lay down the law/So what the hell are you here for/We lay down the law/So what d’you need me for?


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She had to be insane. That was the only reason she could think of for just randomly inviting Kakashi over to her apartment for dinner. Sakura glanced at the man walking alongside her, one hand tucked into a pants pocket while the other carried one of the bags of groceries. He’d surprised her a little by taking the bag she’d held out to him without a word of complaint. Maybe it was just that she was used to shopping with Ino, who refused to carry anything if she could help it, but the fact that he was being agreeable about it was rather nice.

Still didn’t change the fact that she was the biggest idiot in all of Konoha. All she could hope for now was that Kakashi didn’t think her invitation to dinner meant anything beyond that. God… she was so stupid! Of course it sounded like she wanted to take him back to her place for sex! Well, if that’s what he thought he had no one to blame but his own perverted nature when she threw his ass out for getting fresh with her.

What had her even more worried than him getting the wrong signals about coming over was the dinner itself. Truth be told… her cooking was probably as bad as rumor had it. It didn’t seem to matter how fine the ingredients were or how carefully she kept her eye on them. Somehow, she always ended up with a kitchen full of smoke and nothing that looked like it belonged outside of a garbage can. It was pretty depressing, really, but she had no idea what she did wrong. Her mom was an outstanding cook, and so were her grandmother and her uncle. Why, in the name of all that was holy, did that particular gene skip by her in favor of giving her an enormous forehead and no breasts? It wasn’t fair!

All she could do now was hope for the best and pray that the neighbors wouldn’t be too mad over the smoke alarms going off again. They were generally nice people, but having every meal time punctuated with that god-awful screeching sound was taxing.

“So,” Kakashi drawled, his voice disrupting her worried thoughts as well as the silence that had fallen on them since leaving the grocery store. Sakura jolted a little at the sound of it and mentally kicked herself for not having initiated any conversation sooner. “Not to mix business with pleasure, but how’s Kotetsu doing?”

“Oh, he’s fine!” Sakura replied quickly as she smiled up at him. Even though he didn’t sound particularly concerned, she’d been around him long enough to know that teammates were everything to him. “He actually just woke up today and was talking for a little bit.”

“You mean he’s been unconscious the whole time? I didn’t think he’d taken any hits to the head.”

“No, no! Nothing like that,” she hastily added, touching his arm reassuringly. “I mean, his injuries were pretty bad, which is why Shizune put him into an induced sleep of sorts, but he’ll be back on the mission roster within a couple months.”

For some reason, this didn’t seem to make Kakashi entirely too happy. It was faint, but she’d still caught the slight flinching near his visible eye. “Hey,” she said softly, grabbing his sleeve to stop him from walking further.

Kakashi turned to face her, his heavily lidded eye betraying nothing as to what he was thinking. His expression was one of resigned patience, almost like he knew what she was about to say and had no choice but to hear it. For some reason, her mind flashed back to the time where he’d explained the relevance of the bell test to her, Naruto and Sasuke. He’d said the answer was so obvious… and perhaps it was here, too.

For as long as she’d known him, Kakashi had always placed his team first, even above his own life. Hadn’t he said before that he’d die to protect them? And now Kotetsu had come awfully close to dying on a mission where he was team leader… Chances were, Kakashi didn’t want to hear that it wasn’t his fault. Deep down, he probably knew it wasn’t but that didn’t change the fact that he’d almost lost a teammate. It was pointless to remind Kakashi there wasn’t anything he could have done differently to prevent it from happening.

So, instead of saying what she knew was true, Sakura held his gaze steadily as she slowly reached over to take his hand. His eye widened slightly as she twined their fingers together. Sakura swallowed past the lump in her throat but didn’t break eye contact with him in the least as she let him know silently that she got it. She didn’t agree with him for thinking he’d failed Kotetsu… but she trusted him to figure that out on his own.

A soft breath escaped him, the sound bordering close to a relieved sigh. She could just make out the barest shift of his masked cheek in the dim streetlight overhead and knew that he was smiling at her. A warm thread of emotion twisted through her stomach, brought on by the fact that he was smiling and she was the reason for it. Kakashi gave her hand a gentle squeeze, letting her know silently that he was grateful she’d let the matter drop.

Blushing as she gave him a bashful smile in response, Sakura glanced down at where she was digging her sandal into a crack in the pavement, suddenly unsure of what to do or say. She’d never really been in the position of offering comfort to Kakashi before and didn’t know what to do now that everything was okay. If it were Ino, she would have broken out the ice cream and the nail polish by now. Something told her Kakashi wasn’t the sort to get his nails manicured… but she had no idea how she was supposed to restore the happy mood from before.

Fortunately, Kakashi solved that problem for her by saying cheerfully, “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry enough to go dumpster diving. From what Pakkun tells me, the one behind Beni Hana’s is pretty good.”

Sakura barely stifled an amused giggle as she gave his hand a tug and started walking again. “Oh, so that’s why you smell like the inside of a garbage can,” she teased. “You and the ninken were doing a comparative study on dumpster dining.”

Kakashi’s eye creased happily as he shrugged unconcernedly. “You’d be amazed at how well you can eat just be scraping off what’s on top of the pile. Of course, you’ll have to face off against an alley cat or two… but so long as they don’t claw you anywhere vital, you can usually fend them off pretty easily.”

“So, you’re telling me that for two weeks you fought off rabid alley cats and feasted on the disposed of remains of other people’s dinners behind restaurants?” Sakura rolled her eyes but couldn’t quite manage to wipe the amused grin off her face. ”Dare I even ask why you’d wanna do something like that?”

Feigning absolute seriousness, Kakashi replied in a grave tone, “Boredom can make a person do weird and unexpected things. Eat out of garbage cans just to see what it’s like, take up knitting with senbon… distribute posters all over the village of them in their underwear.”

Oh… dear god… “So… I take it you saw the flyers then?” she asked cautiously as her cheeks burned so hot she swore she could see steam rising from her head. It was foolish to think that Kakashi wouldn’t ever see one of those flyers. After all, they were literally everywhere. She just hadn’t expected him to find out so quickly about it though. Not even twenty-four hours since he’d returned to Konoha.... She wasn’t sure if she should be impressed with his talent for tracking down the perverse of outraged that he didn’t have the decency not to mention it.

In response, Kakashi stopped walking and lifted his free hand to point across her body. Sakura followed the direction he was indicating and promptly wished she knew one of those transportation jutsu. Scowling, Sakura jerked her hand free from his and stomped over to the building that was sporting yet another flyer. She ripped the paper down so violently that it tore in half, one part clutched tightly in her hand while the other still clung stubbornly to the wall. Growling, she pulled the other half free, wadded the two sections together and threw them into the nearest trash can she saw.

Huffing angrily, Sakura marched back over to where Kakashi was still standing, what little she could see of his face arranged into a look of utter disappointment. “What a shame,” he murmured, a trace of sadness lacing through his words. “That was a surprisingly good picture for being taken off a surveillance camera.”

“Too bad,” she snapped back. “I think you had more than ample time to gawk, don’t you?

Kakashi arched a brow as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Considering it only took me about eight seconds to spot it before you so viciously tore it down, I’d say it wasn’t nearly long enough,” he replied evenly. “I was still trying to decide whether those were lip marks or eyes on your ass.”

“They were lip marks, not that you really need to know. As in, you can kiss my ass and forget about dinner if you don’t drop it!”

“So… You like the panties with the funny prints on them then? Does it matter if they’re thongs or full coverage?”

“You know, most normal guys, upon returning from an extended trip, would have said something like, ‘Hey, sweetie, how was your week?’ But you? Nooooo… You just comment on the fact that some idiot in surveillance managed to catch me with my pants down!” Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and turned her face away from him, glaring at the same wall that until a few seconds ago had an image of her panties on it. Of all the people Tsunade had to blackmail her into dating, it had to be the one that was seriously bad for her blood pressure.

“First of all,” Kakashi countered immediately as he tucked his hands into his pockets. “Your pants weren’t even on from what I noticed. Second of all… hey, sweetie, how was your week?”

Growling, Sakura shoved him hard in the chest, causing him to rock back a step before regaining his balance. “Your sarcasm isn’t appreciated right now,” she bit out as she met his amused look angrily.

Chuckling, Kakashi’s eye creased happily as he gave an innocent shrug. “Who’s being sarcastic? You are fairly sweet… when you’re not looking like you want to punch a hole right through my head.”

“Funny. That’s exactly what I was thinking about doing.” Sakura dipped out of reach quickly when he went to tap the tip of her nose with one finger.

“That answers the question of who’s being sarcastic. Now, back to the other question; what’s going on in the world of Haruno Sakura? Besides the obvious homicidal thoughts in regards to your charming, clever companion for the evening, that is.”

Sakura shot him a wary glance. He was watching her expectantly, a flicker of mild amusement making his eye crinkle slightly at the corner. On the one hand, he seemed to be completely sincere about his interest. But on the other hand… since when had Hatake Kakashi ever truly been interested in what she did? Even on the first day she’d met him, when he’d asked about their hopes and dreams… it was very obvious he didn’t really care. Eyes narrowing, Sakura cocked her hip to one side and shook her head slightly. “You don’t really wanna know,” she mumbled.

Kakashi’s eyebrow rose slowly, as if he really couldn’t believe she’d just said that. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked,” he responded, his voice just as low as hers but with a thread of something a little less humored. He wasn’t annoyed with her, not from what she could tell at least, but he was definitely more serious than before.

Shrugging and deciding to act on the off chance that he actually was curious about what she’d done, Sakura shrugged and released a long, low breath before saying, “Well… Tsunade-shishou started teaching me about poisons.”

Nodding encouragingly, Kakashi moved a step toward her and said, “Interesting. Is she teaching you how to mix poisons, extract them or both?”

Sakura felt her heart flutter a little as he took her hand and began walking once again. Still a little surprised that he was genuine about his request, she answered, “Just extraction for now. Eventually, I’ll learn how to mix antidotes and poisons alike.”

“Ah… that’s relieving. I was afraid I’d have to take a rain check on tonight’s dinner.”

A smile was already forming on her lips before she could even think to stop it. She managed to keep it down to a begrudging smirk as she slid a glance at him from the corner of her eye. “Well, mixing it is only half the battle. Once the poison is mixed, you still need to administer it and that takes a little skill. Fortunately for me, my teacher is apparently a master in the art of poison administration. I’m sure with her help I’ll pick it up pretty quickly.”

“… I haven’t told you yet that you’re a very pretty girl, have I?”

Sakura turned to him with an arched brow and an expectant quirk to her lips. “Pretty?” she repeated, suggesting through her voice that he should reconsider his word choice.

Kakashi’s eye crinkled shut as he rubbed the back of his neck in a wonderful display of sheepishness. “Sorry, I’m a little tired from the mission. What I meant to say was beautiful.”

Laughing, she squeezed his hand comfortingly and said, “Don’t worry, I won’t poison you. Not unless you take me on another hiking trip again.”

A quick cringe flashed across his face as he looked down at her. “Was it really that bad?” he asked.

She shook her head and adjusted her grip on the shopping bags still dangling from her free hand. “No, it wasn’t a complete disaster. The dinner and movie part definitely made up for it. But if you ever, ever, combine training with a date again I’ll make certain you wake up in the morning with the stomach ache from hell.”

“If it comes down to that, I’ll just be happy to be waking up at all.”

Sakura laughed and bumped her hip against his playfully. Kakashi pressed her hand a little in answer with what looked almost like affection in his eye as he gazed down at her. It was such an unfamiliar look from her former teacher that it made he glance away from him uncertainly, a light blush rising in her cheeks. In a way, it was a little strange. He was quite a bit older than herself, first of all. Then, of course, was the fact that he’d been her teacher. This was the same man who’d told her perfume was not permitted on missions before sending her running laps through the swamp just to further ingrain the lesson. To be holding his hand now while he looked at her like that was strange… but it also made that weird thing happen to her insides again.

She’d come to accept the fact that the twisting in her gut whenever he was around was not nerves or a sudden bout of indigestion. It had taken four talks with Ino, plus an overheard conversation between two older medics, before she’d realized what was going on. She actually liked dating Kakashi. That wasn’t a bad thing at all, really. If anything, it made the job of dating him much more tolerable than she’d initially thought. It was easier to be flirty and seductive when she didn’t mind being in his company so much.

Still though… was it really all that normal for her pulse to speed up whenever his thumb rubbed across her knuckles lightly? Or how about the warm feeling that made its way through her chest whenever she managed to make him smile? Sakura was pretty certain those signs pointed to something a little more than simply enjoying his company. The thing was… she wasn’t entirely sure if she would object to that.

It’d been over two years now since the boy she’d first given her heart to had disappeared. It made her sad still to think about Sasuke… but it was the same kind of sadness she felt whenever she thought of Naruto. If she were still in love with Sasuke, wouldn’t it hurt more to think about him? The fact that she didn’t feel the pain of loss particularly stronger for one of her teammates over the other told her quite a bit. It made her think that maybe… just maybe… she hadn’t been as in love with Sasuke as she’d initially thought.

Sakura glanced up at Kakashi as subtly as she could, chewing her lower lip thoughtfully as she considered his profile. She’d been honest when she’d told Ino she’d been thinking about Kakashi a bit. Well… It was more like the invasive bastard had somehow found his way into her subconscious than any cognizant thought process on her part. She’d had a few dreams about him while he’d been gone. And by a few, she actually meant six, though she really wasn’t counting that weird one where she’d opened the fridge to find him crammed in the small space, reading Icha Icha Paradise while drinking Ino’s soy milk.

The other dreams were fairly standard with the exception of one. That one… Whoa. Just… Whoa. She’d woken up with a flushed, heavy feeling throughout her body and an odd ache in the pit of her stomach. It was the same feeling she got whenever she read a particularly smutty section in one of Ino’s romance novels. To have that same reaction to a dream involving him had been so unsettling that she hadn’t been able to sleep for the rest of the night.

Okay… She was willing to admit that maybe there was a small hint of genuine attraction for Kakashi in her. But it was so microscopically small that not even Shizune would be able to spot it with a chakra enhanced microscope. It was just a teeny, tiny little earworm that made its home in the bowels of her subconscious mind and only surfaced to give her steamy… very erotic… drool-worthy…

“Is there something on my face?”

Sakura snapped back into the present with a sharp jerk at the sound of Kakashi’s voice. “Huh?” she asked distractedly, turning away quickly so he wouldn’t see the dark pink stain to her cheeks. If he so much as guessed where her mind had wandered off to, he’d never let her live it down.

“You’ve been staring at me for almost three minutes now,” Kakashi continued bemusedly. “You weren’t even aware I had to pull you around the light post you were about to collide with.”

“Oh… sorry,” she mumbled hastily, pulling her hand free of his before the nervous tremor making its way through her body was detected. She covered the action up by pretending to push a stray piece of hair back behind her ear. “I was just thinking, that’s all.”

“Hmm… must have been pretty intense. You didn’t rupture anything doing it, did you?”

Shooting him a scathing glare, Sakura replied tersely, “No! For your information, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

“Ah. Such as?”

“... Hospital… things….” Outside, Sakura maintained what she hoped was a calm façade. Inside though, she was screaming at herself for being such a raging idiot. That wasn’t a very convincing excuse, even to her optimistic way of thinking. There was no way he wouldn’t see through her now!

Kakashi’s brow rose slowly over his hooded eye before a disbelieving hum of acceptance came from him as he tucked his hands into his pockets. He wasn’t going to push it… but he didn’t believe her one bit. Sakura cringed as she hastily tried to come up with a new topic of discussion.

“So… Shizune-san said I might be ready to take the jounin exam next year,” she said quickly, offering him a bright smile that she hoped would distract him from the less-than-subtle shift in conversation.

Regardless of the rather obvious topic change, he went along with it without raising a fuss. For once, she was pretty glad he was too lazy to keep digging at things. Kakashi nodded thoughtfully and replied, “Think you’ll be ready by then?”

Laughing in relief, Sakura pushed her hair back and shrugged. “Hope so. I’d hate to be stuck as a chuunin forever.”

“Being a jounin isn’t necessarily better.”

“Umm… higher pay, more perks, not to mention some real clout to throw around-,”

“Possibly being assigned as a teacher, nothing but high-risk missions, getting your name in every Bingo Book from here to Mist and back again,” he countered quickly.

Sakura stuck her tongue out at him and muttered, “Killjoy. If it’s so awful, why’d you take the exam?”

Kakashi glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and said, “Because no one was kind enough to tell me that before hand.” At first, she thought he was being serious, but after a second look she caught the faint spark of laughter in his eye and knew he was only pulling her leg.

“Please! If it was really all that crappy, you would have resigned by now and committed yourself to a life of reading poorly written porn in a dark corner somewhere.”

“And just how would you know if my porn is poorly written or not? Been reading Icha Icha while I was away?”

Sakura rolled her eyes at that and snorted in contempt as they rounded a corner and came out on the street her apartment was on. “Considering I don’t even have time to read good books, I’d say that’s a big exploding tag to the forehead that I haven’t.” She heard him laugh softly as she dug her keys out of her pocket and started up the steps of the apartment building.

The elderly security guard at the desk just inside the main entry way stopped watching his television show long enough to nod a greeting in her direction. “Good evening, Sakura-san,” he said politely before his gaze flickered to the man walking behind her. “And to you too, Hatake-san.”

“Hello, Ubizu-san,” Sakura called back cheerfully as she made her way to the stairs. “Did they reveal who the father of her twins is yet?” She was referring to the soap opera that Ino had gotten the poor old man addicted to almost a year ago. From the way Kakashi glanced from her to the security guard and back again, he obviously thought they were speaking of real life drama.

Ubizu rolled his eyes and gave a low, annoyed rumble of sound as he shifted in his chair to a more comfortable position. “No, not yet. You know how these things go; string ya along as far as they can ‘fore revealing the baby’s daddy was really some mutant fish or other such nonsense.”

“If it’s nonsense then why do you watch it?” she laughed, purposely pausing on the stairs so that Kakashi nearly ran into her. She stuck her tongue out at the mildly irritated look he gave her before returning her attention to the old man at the desk.

Shrugging, the guard mumbled, “Got nothin’ better to do, I guess. ‘Sides… All the stuff you told me to watch wasn’t much fun. All them mysteries and whodunits… My old brain can’t follow those complex things so well anymore, ya know?”

Sakura flushed a little as Kakashi chuckled under his breath before she turned about and started walking again. She’d be damned if she was just gonna stand there and be laughed at because she enjoyed a good crime drama every now and then! “Have a good night, Ubizu-san!”

“You too, Sakura-san! And don’t go givin’ her any grief now, ya hear, Hatake-san? I’ve no problem escorting even you out for causin’ trouble with a lady.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I only finish what she starts,” Kakashi called back with a pleasant smile, one that didn’t betray the fact that he’d just caught the elbow aiming for his gut. Ubizu’s harsh laughter followed them up the flights of steps, furthering grating on Sakura’s nerves.

Just as she was about to tell him off for stealing her security guard, Kakashi settled his hand against the small of her back, causing her to jump… and all of her anger to fade away as he gave the area above her ass a soothing rub before curling his hand around the side of her hip. Sakura swallowed hard, torn between two conflicting forces inside her. The first was appalled by how he didn’t even think twice about touching her so familiarly, while the second was thinking he should do this more often. Swallowing hard, Sakura decided to compromise the two halves by pretending she needed to step away from him to unlock the door. Or, rather, she was hoping the two sides would be appeased. Only one was. The other was really missing the feel of his hand on her hip.

Sakura unlocked the door and pushed it open onto the dark, shadowed apartment. She was just reaching around for the light switch by the door when she suddenly remembered the last time he’d been there… and what hadn’t been put away. Turning quickly to block him from following her, Sakura nearly collided face first with his chest. Blushing at the too-close proximity, Sakura smiled shakily at him. “Um… do you mind waiting out here for a few minutes? I just… I need to make sure the place isn’t a disaster.”

She couldn’t see it, but she was pretty certain Kakashi was smirking underneath his mask. Taking a step back, Kakashi tucked his hands in his pockets and said, “Sure, take your time.”

Nodding her thanks, Sakura took the bag of groceries he was carrying slipped through the door before flicking on the light in order to survey what sort of disaster was lurking in the living room. A sigh of relief broke from her when she saw it wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d been dreading. Just a few things needed to be tidied before she’d let him in, but at least there wasn’t any laundry lying around.

Sakura quickly kicked the shoes that had been kicked off by the door to one side before heading over to the coffee table to tuck the box of nail polish under the sofa and straighten the magazines strewn across the surface. She took the bills as she headed for the kitchen, pausing to pluck the pillow Ino had thrown at her the night before off of the floor.

The kitchen was a little worse off than she would have liked, mostly due to the small stack of dishes that needed cleaning, but there wasn’t much she could do about it now. Maybe she could con Kakashi into helping her clean up after dinner or something. Sakura deposited the unopened bills in the mail pouch just inside the doorway and turned on the faucet to wet a sponge. She gave the counters a quick wipe down and deposited the groceries on the freshly washed surface, all while still hugging the pillow to her chest. Tossing the sponge back into the sink, Sakura did a mental run through of the areas he would most likely be seeing. Okay… living room was good. Kitchen was good. Bathroom was next.

Sakura tossed the pillow onto the couch in passing and hurried toward the bathroom. She turned the light on and grimaced as the harsh light illuminated a very disorganized sight. Damn it… what were the odds that Kakashi wouldn’t need to use the toilet? Sighing in resignation, Sakura grabbed the two hairbrushes on the counter and chucked them in the cabinet under the sink. She swiped all the makeup and hair ties into one of the drawers, uncaring that her stuff was now thoroughly mingled with Ino’s. They could sort it out later.

A quick straightening of towels and the rug later and the bathroom was as ready as it would be on short notice. Pleased with herself, Sakura shut off the light and was about to go let Kakashi in when a sudden idea occurred to her. She backtracked to the bedrooms… and shut both doors firmly. That should hopeful dispel any misguided thoughts from him that anything beyond eating the amazing dinner she was about to make was going to happen.

She hurried back to the door and opened it with a sharp jerk. “Alright,” she said breathlessly as she stepped aside with a bright smile and a welcoming sweep of her arm. “Sorry about the mess. I hadn’t really planned on having anyone over.”

“It’s okay,” Kakashi replied as he stepped in. As with the first time he’d entered her apartment, he began to wander around curiously, his gaze resting the longest on her book case.

Sakura shook her head, grinning as he oh-so-casually began to meander toward the collection of books. The man’s fascination with the written word was almost comical. No need to worry about him looking at other women, not unless they were wearing a newspaper. It was the bookstores she needed to worry about. Leaving him to poke around at Ino’s dirty novels, she called over shoulder, “Make yourself at home!”

“’Kay,” he mumbled distractedly as he tugged a book out for inspection.

“Want anything to drink? Water, orange-pineapple juice, soy milk…” As soon as she said the last it reminded her of that one weird dream, which in turn led to her thinking about those other dreams. Cheeks burning, Sakura quickly busied herself with getting dinner around.

“I’m good,” Kakashi replied. She heard him groan softly and glanced over to find him slouched on the sofa with a book in hand. All she could make out of the cover was a woman with perfectly windblown hair (which was such an oxymoron) who was arching her back against a man with bulky muscles who looked like someone had coated him in bronze paint.

Wrinkling her nose as she slid a nice out from the block on the counter, Sakura asked, “Do you really like reading those things?”

Kakashi didn’t so much as glance at her as she began chopping the mushrooms. “Mm… it’s not Icha Icha, but the sex scenes are pretty good. I’m not really feeling most of the plot devices though.”

“Really? That’s weird.”

“How so?”

Shrugging, Sakura grinned over her shoulder at him, uncaring that he was too absorbed in the book to notice she was laughing at him. “I didn’t know smut books had a plot beyond heaving bosoms and such.”

She caught the faint sound of Kakashi’s chuckle as he turned the page and sank further down into the sofa cushions. “That’s not the plot point I was objecting to,” he murmured back.

“Then what don’t you like? All the non-smutty dialogue?” she laughed as she dug underneath the counter for a baking dish. She’d just dump it all together, season it and add a little water to keep the chicken from drying out. Pop it in the oven and around forty minutes later, a delicious, nutritious dinner for two. Hopefully.

“Some of it is pretty bad,” Kakashi admitted. “But my main problem is the fact that some authors would rather try and hide the fact that all they write about is sex with a poorly planned storyline. I’d rather they just admit they’re writing smut than insult my intelligence with a laughably weak plot.”

Sakura arched a brow and she him an incredulously look as she turned the oven on. “That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”

Her sarcastic comment made his brow crease in confusion. “How do you figure that?” he drawled as he turned to the next page.

“You read Icha Icha.” The way she said it made it clear she thought the answer to that statement was rather obvious.

Apparently… it either wasn’t or he was being deliberately obtuse because the pinching between his eyebrows deepened as he slowly lowered Ino’s stolen book until it was spread across his chest. “And how does reading Icha Icha make me a hypocrite?” He was using that flat tone with her, the one that meant he was either curious about her response… or a little offended by the accusation. Having three-quarters of his face covered up didn’t help in revealing his exact mood either.

Sakura wiped her hands on a dish towel, taking a deep breath as she shifted her gaze from his. “Well,” she began cautiously, fidgeting a little under his close scrutiny. “You just said you didn’t like when an author masks the porn with a flimsy plot. Isn’t that basically what Jiraiya-sama does?”

“Actually,” Kakashi replied as he dog-eared the page he’d left off on and closed the book, obviously having decided their current conversation was better than reading half-assed porn. “Icha Icha doesn’t have as much sex as you seem to think.”

Sakura snorted and shook her head disbelievingly. “Yeah… okay. Sorry, I forgot about the four pages Jiraiya-sama dedicated to ‘plot’,” she answered drolly.

He laughed quietly from where he was half-sprawled across her couch and shook his head. The look he gave her was very similar to the sort an adult would give a child who’d just said something incredibly cute. “The sex scenes are quite graphic… but that’s not the only reason there’s a restriction label on the cover. Jiraiya’s description of the action sequences is incredibly good… and incredibly violent.”

Her eyebrows rose and she actually paused with the oven half open to stare at him in shock. She only realized this when the hot air wafted upward and stung her cheek, causing her to flinch a little as she dropped it open fully to slide the chicken inside. “You’re such a liar, Kakashi-sensei,” she exclaimed as she rose, kicking the door closed with her heel. “There’s no way you really expect me to believe that!”

“Believe what you want, Sakura,” he replied unconcernedly, his voice coming from much closer than the living room. When Sakura turned around, she wasn’t at all surprised to find him leaning against the entryway of her kitchen with his hands tucked in his pockets. “But, seeing as you’ve never read Icha Icha, your accusations are completely groundless.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Sakura tilted her chin up in a silent challenge to him. “You seriously mean to tell me that the Icha Icha series, which features some poor, harassed woman being chased by a horny guy on the cover, has a real plot line.”

There was a spark of an answering challenge in his dark grey eye as he pushed away from the entryway and further into her small kitchen. Sakura maintained her ground as he came to a stop directly in front of her. He wasn’t standing close enough to touch her, just enough to force her to look up in order to keep eye-contact. If he thought he could intimidate her, he was sorely mistaken. Hatake Kakashi was a kitten when compared to a raging, hung over Tsunade who had just found out she had a budget meeting scheduled for that very morning.

“There’s a big difference between those cheap romance novels on your bookcase and Jiraiya’s work,” he said, speaking in such a low, smooth tone that it sent a shiver down her spine. “That difference is his perfection in the ‘less is more’ technique.”

“The less is more technique?” she repeated dubiously.

Kakashi nodded once firmly and took just a half step closer to her so that her bare arms brushed across the front of his vest with each breath they took. “Instead of having several grand scale, full out orgasmic sex scenes strewn all through the novel, Jiraiya usually has only two. What he does instead is build the anticipation throughout the course of the story… like foreplay. A few teasing touches here… perhaps the faintest ghosting of someone’s breath along the skin… And when the sex finally does happen, it’s like an orgasm for the reader as well.”

Silence fell between them, one that was punctuated by the clock ticking on the wall and the sounds of people laughing on the street below. Sakura couldn’t tear her eyes from his mostly covered face, as if he’d worked a genjutsu on her that prevented her from doing so. Her breathing was shallow, making her feel a little lightheaded in a kitchen that was suddenly too warm. She wanted to call him out on this, tell him he was full of crap… but even if it were possible for her to find where her vocabulary had run off to, she doubted the words could have made it out of her oddly dry throat.

“Sakura.”

She blinked at the sound of her name said in that voice and let a shaky breath escape her parted lips. “Yes?” she whispered back. A shiver moved through her as he traced a single finger down her cheek, the rougher texture of calloused skin making something warm flood through her.

“You’re blushing.”

Instantly, she snapped out of whatever daze he’d put her in and glowered at him. He chuckled as she slapped his hand away from her and stomped over to the fridge under the pretense of pulling out Ino’s soy milk. “Of course I’m blushing,” she bit out angrily, though admittedly it was directed more at herself for letting him affect her than at him for doing that. “You’re standing in my kitchen, acting like a total pervert and spewing crap that’s more absurd than your lame excuses for being late!”

Still laughing, Kakashi dragged a chair out just far enough from the small kitchen table to flop down in it as if standing were suddenly too much effort. “You did ask,” he remarked, something akin to mischief brightening his dark eye as she scowled at him. “And now I have a question for you; do you really only read thriller novels and mysteries?”

Back stiffening indignantly, Sakura set her glass of soy milk firmly on the countertop and said haughtily, “I hardly think a man who reads porn all day has the right to judge my taste in reading material.”

“I’m not passing judgment, merely inquiring as to your likes and dislikes. It’s a little thing I call ‘getting to know my date’.”

Still eying him suspiciously, Sakura shrugged before joining him at the table. “Mostly,” she answered honestly. “I don’t really have time to read though, but when I do it’s usually something along those lines.”

“If you don’t have the chance to read, why pick a genre that requires so much attention?” he inquired, a small frown pinching between his eyebrows. “I’d think you’d lose the plot rather quickly if you don’t get a chance to pick it up relatively soon.”

Grinning, Sakura waggled a finger in his direction as she leaned forward across the table. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. What’s really great about a good mystery is that I’m constantly thinking about it during the time I can’t get back to it. Was it her brother? Did the witness really see the victim get strangled before being thrown in the water? Where did the money go? So, in the time I can’t finish the story, I’m always running over the different scenarios and trying to figure out what the twist in the plot is gonna be.”

She paused when she realized Kakashi was simply staring at her, the surprised tilt to his eye making her cheeks warm. “Sorry,” she said, laughing nervously as she pushed her hair back from her face. “I didn’t mean to get carried away. This sort of thing’s probably rather boring for you.” This part of the evening was going to be carefully edited out when she recounted it to Ino. She just knew her roommate would have a blast making jokes about her boring Kakashi to death.

“No, on the contrary… that actually makes sense. I was just surprised, that’s all,” Kakashi said, scratching along his jaw as he nodded thoughtfully.

“You’re surprised I made sense?” she asked slowly, smoothing her hands flat across the tabletop. Before she went and punched him through a wall, she wanted to be certain she did it for the right reason.

“I’m surprised because I never thought you would be that patient. You always struck me as being the type to want to know what happens now. It’s interesting.”

The blush that had just started to stain her cheeks came out in full force at his compliment. A nervous laugh found its way from her mouth as she covered her face with both hands and mumbled, “I hate that you can do that.”

“What? Color coordinate your cheeks with your shirt?” Kakashi answered with an edge of mischievousness to his words. “You look cute when you’re all flushed and flustered.”

God… there he went again! Unable to stop laughing, Sakura dropped her burning forehead to the table and covered her head with both arms as if to protect it from an explosion. Cute wasn’t exactly the adjective she was trying to go for here… but it still warmed her to hear it. “So, I go from being beautiful to being cute in the space of one night?” she joked sarcastically from underneath her arms. “Thanks, Kakashi-sensei.”

“Anytime, Cherry-chan.”

Sakura’s head snapped up at the despised nickname, bristling as he flashed her that happy see-I’m-so-nice eye wink. Before she could even reprimand him for using it, Kakashi said in a deceptively light voice, “That’s two times tonight you’ve used my title. It seemed only fair I drag that lovely nickname out for use.”

Oh… crap. She had called him Kakashi-sensei. Something like that could very easily tip off a red flag for him. It’d mean she wasn’t really into him, which would then make him wonder why she was still dating him… which would then lead to her being stained electric blue and working midnights. Thinking quickly, Sakura propped an elbow on the table and leaned her cheek against her palm. Hoping that her smile was suitably flirty, she teased, “I thought men liked it when cute girls called them sensei.”

For a moment –just a very quick half a second- Kakashi’s face was the very picture of a man who’d had the rug swept out from under him. He hadn’t expected that sort of comeback at all, and it pleased her no end that she’d finally gotten a really good hit in on him. But this was Hatake Kakashi, which meant he not only recovered quickly but also in tenfold. Sakura’s victory lasted only about as long as that look on his face had.

Kakashi leaned across the table as well, keeping his eye fixed with hers the entire time. Sakura felt her back snap taut but she refused to back down. She couldn’t afford to retreat now. Girls who purposely flirted with their date to get them to do something didn’t suddenly shy away. He was close enough now that she could just make out the lingering scent of dried sweat and old leaves on his clothing. She could also see that his eye wasn’t just a solid, dark grey; there were tiny flecks of blue and black in there that, depending on the way the light hit, would shift the hue lighter or darker.

The hand she still had on the table twitched in reaction to his fingers tracing lightly over hers. Once again, she felt as if breathing had become something she really needed to think about. His hand covered hers on the table, allowing his fingertips to just barely graze the sensitive skin along her wrist. Sakura could only stare at him, as if in a daze, as he leaned closer, like he was about to…

And then the hand she hadn’t been paying attention to flashed out and tweaked her nose faster than she could follow.

Sakura yelped and jumped away so quickly her chair went rocking back on two legs. Arms flailing, she managed to right herself again by grabbing the edge of the table, all while his shoulder shook with delight. “You are such an asshole!” she ground out, kicking his shin under the table hard enough to cause him to wince.

Kakashi was still laughing at her as he reached down to rub his abused leg. She would have bet what little she actually had in her bank account that underneath that infernal mask was the biggest shit-eating grin, and it pissed her off. Damn it, she should have known he was going to do something like that! Shaking her head and slumping in her chair while glaring petulantly at him. She hoped like hell she’d left a good sized bruise on his leg!

“I just want you to know,” she said coolly as he finally managed to control his quiet mirth. “That I’m really regretting asking you to join me for dinner.”

“Funny, I don’t regret you asking me at all,” Kakashi replied as he leaned his chair back against the wall. There was a wicked glint to his eye that said he was purposely rocking back in his chair, mocking her close call from moments before. She wanted to punch his smug face in.

Huffing angrily, Sakura pushed away from the table and stood up to put the soy milk away. “Why don’t you go back to reading in the living room?” she suggested tightly.

“Is that a subtle hint to leave your kitchen?”

“There’s nothing subtle about it. Get out. Now.” He should consider himself lucky she was only banishing him into the next room and not the street outside. Sakura pretended to be busy reorganizing the few groceries in her fridge, giving him yet another clear indicator that her kitchen was off limits to him for the time being. But instead of the expected sound of footsteps heading for the living room, she heard the water at the sink running. Sakura spun around sharply and saw that he was filling the small metal tea pot that had been on her stove with water. “What are you doing?” she demanded.

“Well, I thought a little tea would be nice. Want some?” Kakashi cast a questioning look over his shoulder as he switched on a burner and set the pot on the rapidly reddening coils. He then began opening and closing cabinet doors in search of two mugs.

Some of her ire cooled a bit at his offer, much to her utter bewilderment. How did he do that? One minute, she was ready to rip his head off and the next she was willing to let it remain on his shoulders. And he hadn’t even apologized for being an ass either! All he’d done was offered to make her a cup of her own tea… which actually did sound rather good.

Sighing as she admitted defeat once again to the enigma that was Hatake Kakashi, Sakura motioned vaguely to a flat wooden box on top of the refrigerator. “The tea selection is there, and the steeping balls are in the top drawer to the left of the sink. There’s some ground ginger in the cupboard over your head. Only a little of that in mine, please.”

Then, leaving him to take care of the pot that was just beginning to whistle, Sakura wandered into the living room, grabbed the mystery novel she was currently reading and flopped down in the corner of the couch that he had previously occupied. But the entire time she tried to read, all she really did was watch him, Kakashi, performing the mundane act of making tea. It should have felt odd to see a man capable of killing someone in one blow doing something so utterly domestic. ‘Should have’ being the operative phrase.


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“Ugh… That Shikamaru! He makes me so… grrrrrr!” Ino scowled darkly at her menu, one fingernail tapping her irritation out on the beautifully stained table she and Chouji were sitting at.

“Y’know he didn’t mean it,” Chouji replied as he eyed the menu with growing trepidation. Vegetable platters… lentil dishes… whole wheat flatbread sandwiches… “Where’s the meat section on here?”

Ino lowered her menu just long enough to shoot him a droll look. “It’s a vegetarian restaurant. They don’t have a meat section.”

What the hell kind of restaurant didn’t have a meat section in their menu? Even if it was a vegetarian place, he would have thought they’d have some meat product. After all, a lot of the steakhouses he liked to go to offered vegetarian options, which always seemed sort of dumb to him since it was a steakhouse. It seemed only fair the vegetarians would do the same.

Well… this was where Ino said she’d wanted to eat. He could always hit up the yakitori stand on his way back home. Oh, and the candy store tomorrow for a bag of those lemon candies Shikamaru liked. He knew buying a bag of sweets wasn’t nearly enough of a thanks for getting him a pseudo-date with Ino, but it seemed like a pretty good start to him.

Chouji squinted at the menu options critically, trying to find something that at least didn’t sound like over glorified cow food. He’d always found it ironic that cows, which were pretty big-boned animals, at the same thing people did to get skinny. And speaking of cows… there was an entire page of the menu devoted to cheese. Yes! If he couldn’t get any meat, cheese was the next best thing!

“Anyway,” Ino continued blithely as she folded her menu closed and set it on the edge of the table. “Even if he didn’t mean it, he still said it. Just because some people are socially awkward, sexually repressed geniuses doesn’t mean they know squat about what’s going on in a man’s head.”

Without looking up from the menu, Chouji grinned and snickered at her implying that she did know what went on in a guy’s head. The irony of a very girlie girl (off of a training field that is) claiming she knew the inner workings of a man’s brain struck him. “Shika’s not sexually repressed, Ino. If he says it’s not gonna-,”

“Hold up! Whaddya mean he’s not sexually repressed?” she demanded, her voice rising in volume so that several other diners looked their way.

Uh-oh… He’d gone and done it now. Gulping, Chouji ducked further behind his menu and mumbled, “Maybe we should get a coupla appetizers or something…”

Ino jerked the menu from his hands and slapped it onto the tabletop roughly, fixing him with an uncompromising glare. “Spit it out right now, Akimichi Chouji! Why isn’t Shikamaru sexually repressed?!”

Chouji cringed and sank as low as he could in the booth. Shit… Shikamaru was gonna kill him for this! If he didn’t tell Ino what he knew, she would confront Shikamaru on it as soon as she saw him. And if he did tell he’d be betraying the best friend he had. Damn it… he was so screwed! Why the hell had he gone and opened his big mouth? Maybe if he just told her to keep it a secret…

Swallowing hard, Chouji stammered, “W-Well, I don’t know for sure… but the last time Temari from Suna was here, I sorta… kinda… maybe saw them talking.”

Whack!

“You idiot!” Ino complained while he held his recently slapped head and moaned. “Of course you saw them talking! Shikamaru’s helping to organize the chuunin exams in a few months!”

“Yeah, but Ino… it was how they were talking that made me think that-,”

Rolling her eyes and growling irritably, Ino shook her head and flopped back against the booth across from him. “Regardless of what you think you saw, if I find out Shikamaru’s gone and hooked up with that Sand twit when there are plenty of better looking girls here at home, I swear to god I’ll castrate him.”

Chouji looked around desperately for a waiter to take their order, not at all comfortable with the topic of lobbing off his friend’s balls. Maybe Ino was right and there really was nothing odd about them talking…

Then why had Shikamaru been leaning in as close as he had? And why had Temari felt the need to smooth her hand down his arm?

Shaking his head, Chouji smiled in relief as a hesitant waitress finally came over to their table. “Welcome to Jakouendou,” she said politely as she set two glasses of water before them. “Would you like to hear the specials or do you know what you’d like?”

Before Chouji could even open his mouth to ask about the specials, Ino cut in and said, “We’ll start with an order of edamame, please. For dinner, I’d like the steamed curry tofu with snow peas and extra mushrooms. And water’s fine to drink.”

The waitress wrote it down and turned to Chouji expectantly.

“I want the cheese cubes, please. And an order of the cheese dip with wheat crisps. Oh, and the cheese and multigrain pizza, too. And can I have orange fizz to drink?” He grinned at her, completely unaware that she was looking him from head to toe with a mildly disgusted look on her face as she wrote down his order. Unfortunately for the waitress, as well as the few people who had turned to smirk when they’d overheard the order… Ino hadn’t missed it at all. And she wasn’t at all happy those idiots were laughing at her teammate.

“I’ll be back with the edamame shortly,” the woman muttered before walking back to the kitchen, completely oblivious to the deadly glare Ino was shooting at her back.

As soon as she was out of sight, Ino leaned across the table and motioned for Chouji to come closer. “Did you see that?” she hissed angrily.

Frowning, Chouji shook his head and whispered back, “See what?”

Rolling her eyes, Ino mumbled, “Just play along for a bit, okay? I wanna prove a point to that shallow bitch.”

Eyes wide, Chouji just nodded and waited for whatever it was Ino was going to do. He had no idea which shallow bitch the blonde was referring to, but whatever the other woman had done had Ino white-hot mad. He felt really sorry for her, whoever she was.

But any concerns for Ino’s victim were blown totally out of his mind when he felt her fingers tracing over his in slow, leisurely lines. Oh… holy… Chouji had to fight to get a breath through his suddenly tight throat as he sent a panic-stricken look at Ino. In answer, his teammate winked subtly at him before twining her fingers with his on the table.

Where everyone could see.

Chouji thought for sure he was about to wake up any minute.

“I really love your hands, Chouji-kun,” Ino purred a little louder than was absolutely necessary. A few ears perked up and a couple of surprised people cast subtle glances their way. All Chouji really saw was Ino’s hand on his. “They’re so strong and… manly.”

Please don’t wake up now, he furiously ordered his subconscious. Usually, this was the point where he’d wake up and realize it had been yet another too-good-to-be-true dream. He was so enraptured with the way Ino was glancing at him through coyly lowered lashes that he didn’t notice the surprised lifting of several people’s eyebrows. When she ran her tongue across her lips, he could almost feel the nosebleed getting ready to rupture.

“I’ve never told you this but… when you come up behind me and tilt my head back with these hands…” Ino sighed, her eyes closing almost dreamily as she leaned further across the table. “It really, really turns me on.”

The waitress dropping her tray and his orange fizz made Ino look over with feigned sympathy. Chouji, however, barely registered the disaster. All he could do was gape… and remind his lungs to keep breathing… and his heart to slow down a bit. He had no idea what she was talking about, but the idea of doing exactly what she’d said made the blood rush from his head to below his waistline. His dreams had never been like this before! They usually involved some hand holding, maybe them sharing a box of chocolate or something. But never anything this… this… Whoa.

“Oh, dear… you really should be more careful, you know,” Ino simpered, smiling sweetly as the waitress began swiftly scooping the broken glass back onto her tray. The blonde didn’t bother to hide the cold, triumph in her eyes as the waitress looked up with burning red cheeks and a look of understanding on her face. She’d gotten the message, loud and clear; there was nothing wrong with Akimichi Chouji. Mumbling an apology, she hurried back to the kitchen to get a new drink order.

Snickering cruelly, Ino pulled her hand away from Chouji’s and shook her head. “Some people,” she complained. “They can be so rude! Who the hell does she think she is, looking at you like that? I mean, really. Like she’s the grand prize at the fair with that big nose and lanky hair! She’d be lucky enough to get a blind dog to- Chouji? Hey, Chouji? What’s the matter? Chouji!”

Chouji blinked when Ino snapped her fingers sharply in front of his face, giving himself a small shake to try and get rid of the lingering fantasies that had been circulating in his mind. “Sorry… what?” he mumbled thickly, his own cheeks growing a little pink as he remembered where his daydreaming had taken him.

Sighing, Ino slouched in her seat and muttered back, “Never mind. It’s not important”

He was about to tell her that anything she had to say was important to him when the waitress returned to their table with not only his drink but their food as well. Without a word, she placed their bill on the table, along with a pitcher of water for them to refill their own glasses, and hurried off to her next table. Not once did she look at either of them. Eyebrows puckering in consternation, Chouji commented, “She seems kinda rude, don’t you think?”

Ino’s eyes narrowed as she shook her head. “You have no idea.”


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Beep, beep, beep! Beep, beep, beep!

Coughing on the thick smoke that had billowed out from the oven, Sakura staggered to the kitchen window and jerked it open roughly. Immediately, the cool night breeze began whisking through, sucking the grayish cloud out of her home. Behind her, the smoke alarm continued to trill urgently before it was suddenly cut off in mid-screech. Sakura heard Kakashi coughing behind her as he hit the switch to get the fan going.

“What the hell happened?” he choked, peering cautiously into the stove.

“I-I don’t know,” Sakura groaned dismally as she joined him to see just how bad it was. “I swear I had it set to bake…” Apparently, she hadn’t though. One minute, they were sitting on her couch, him reading his porn and her reading a fascinating murder mystery, with their tea and the next he was saying he smelled something burning. Sakura had hurriedly pulled her feet off his lap (putting an end to the exquisite foot massage she’d been getting up until then) and rushed to the kitchen to check on the chicken. The minute she’d pulled the oven door open though, she’d gone reeling back as thick, almost black smoke stung her eyes and burned at her throat. The first thing she’d done was check the setting… and that was when she’d noticed it was set to broil.

As the smoke cleared away to give them a clear view of what was supposed to have been their dinner, a dismayed sigh came from Kakashi at the same moment Sakura slapped a hand over her eyes and whined miserably. What had once been lemongrass and ginger chicken now resembled something close to charcoal. Seemingly oblivious to the heat, Kakashi reached out and poked one of the blackened lumps experimentally. It was so well done it actually scraped across the baking dish.

“Wow,” he so succinctly stated.

Sakura nodded wistfully and murmured, “Yeah, wow.”

“I don’t think we can just scrape that off.”

“Probably not,” she agreed.

“You know… these would probably make very effective projectiles.”

“… Or we could just throw them out.”

Sighing again, Kakashi straightened and grabbed the dish towel that was folded across the towel bar over the sink. Sakura stood back as he removed the pan from the oven and walked the disastrous meal over to the garbage can. He flipped the lid open and dropped the hardened chunks in. The sound of the chicken pieces hitting the bottom with a hard thunk made her wince. As he dropped the still hot pan in the sink, Sakura moaned, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he reassured her as he closed the oven once again. “Granted, this doesn’t do us any good as far as eating goes… but you have to admit it was pretty funny.”

Despite the fact that she didn’t really find her appalling lack in cooking skills that funny at all, she couldn’t help smiling sadly at him. Her breath caught a little when he reached out and swiped a thumb across one cheek. Holding it up to show the black smudge on the pad, Kakashi said, “You have some soot on her face.”

Huffing, Sakura raked a hand back through her short hair and frowned at the garbage can now containing what was supposed to have been her first ever successful dinner. “I don’t get it,” she complained. “I just… How the hell can I bake a cake but destroy chicken? I mean, it seems impossible that one person is so inept at cooking that she can’t even-,”

Kakashi stopped her from continuing by covering her mouth with his hand. Caught off guard, Sakura’s eyes widened as she looked from his hand to his face and back again. “Listen to me,” he said, using the same firm tone he’d employed as her teacher. When he was certain she wasn’t going to interrupt him, he removed his palm from her mouth. “First, you need to relax. Not everyone can cook. It’s a simple fact of life and it doesn’t make you any less inept than someone who can cook.”

“But, Kakashi, I –mmph!”

“Second,” he continued, speaking over her muffled protest at having him clamp his hand over her mouth once again. “Dinner didn’t work out as planned? No big deal. That just means we’ll have to get a little creative. But if it’s alright with you… I’ll do the cooking. Now… what sorts of groceries do you have?”

Sakura looked pointedly at the hand still covering her mouth.

“Oh, sorry.” Kakashi pulled his hand away and stuck it in his pocket.

Lips twisting thoughtfully, Sakura tried to remember if there was anything at all edible in their apartment at all. She knew there was a packet of rice noodles in the cupboard… and some fruit flavored chewable vitamins… Sighing, Sakura shook her head. “We don’t have anything. That’s why I was shopping.”

“You have absolutely nothing?” Kakashi repeated, as if not quite believing her.

“Ino and I slacked off a bit on the groceries department, okay?” she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest and staring grouchily at the evil stove. She blamed it entirely for changing its own setting. This definitely was not her fault this time!

“No canned soup? Cheese slices?” he pressed.

Sakura gave him a long, hard glare in response.

Eyebrows rising in mild surprise, Kakashi nodded slowly. Sakura went rigid as his gaze swept her from head to toe appraisingly, as if he wasn’t quite sure he liked what he saw. “What?” she demanded, fidgeting as a thread of exasperation began to wind its way through her.

“How long would it take you to get ready?”

“Well, I’d need to shower so… maybe an hour?” she guessed hesitantly.

“Good. That’ll give me time to get home and do the same. Remember where we met for our first date?”

Number Seventeen, Asaihi Lane. She’d had to memorize it because of his lousy handwriting. Sakura nodded as she caught on to what the new plan was. “Are you sure you’ll be there on time?” she asked dubiously. “After all, you did say some things were-,”

“Trust me, I will be. I’m too hungry not to show up on time. So… one hour, outside the teahouse. Oh, and if you wouldn’t mind… maybe you could wear that dress you’d mentioned earlier?”

Before Sakura could even finish getting the argument to leave her lips, Kakashi had already made his way to the door and left. She was left standing in her foggy kitchen with only an hour to get ready to go out somewhere nice.

In a dress she didn’t own yet.

“Shit!” she screamed as she raced to the bathroom, stripping the entire way. She had no idea what she was going to do about a sexy dress, but hopefully inspiration would strike while she was scrubbing soot from her hair. If it didn’t, well… She’d just have to think of a really good excuse for not wearing it.


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There were times in his life where Kakashi would freely admit to being selfish. This was definitely one of those times. He did feel a little bad about sabotaging Sakura’s dinner, especially after seeing just how dejected she was that it had been ruined… But, damn it all, curiosity had gotten the best of him. No matter how hard he’d tried, his mind kept wandering back to the dress she’d mentioned at the grocery store. Was it strapless? Maybe there was a shamelessly deep slit up the side. Or perhaps it was a backless number like that teal one she’d been wearing before he’d left…

Well, the only way to truly satisfy an itch was to scratch it. And the only way to scratch this particular itch was to arrange so that they had to go out to eat.

Secretly, he was rather proud of himself for the job he’d done. He’d kept her occupied with talk so that later she couldn’t be positive about whether or not she’d set the stove correctly. He’d used the excuse of making tea to not only change the stove settings but to also make certain her grocery stock was as minimal as she’d claimed. Thankfully, it was almost as pathetic as his own. And then, all he’d needed to do was sit back, read and wait until the smell of food burned beyond recognition hit his nose.

Once Kakashi reached his apartment building, he took the stairs two at a time, already tugging his gloves off and unzipping his vest. By the time he had the door unlocked and had slammed his shoulder against the warped wood to force it open, he was already shucking off his shirt and working on his undershirt.

Pakkun lifted his head from the couch as Kakashi continued stripping his way toward the bathroom, his wrinkled brow lifting slightly. “There a reason why you’re in a rush to get naked?” the pug called dryly.

“Can’t talk, in a rush,” Kakashi called back as he shut the bathroom door and twisted the rusted knobs of his shower on. Pipes groaned and protested, the showerhead gave a few reluctant gargles and then a stream of water began to fall steadily.

Kakashi used the ten minutes it took for the water to reach a sub-boiling level (his shower only had two temperatures; hot and blistering) to shave the annoying stubble from his cheeks and grab his toothbrush. Genma thought it was weird that he brushed his teeth in the shower. He thought it was the most logical thing to do. Stand at the sink and scrub, or do it in the nice, warm shower while soaping up?

It had to be the quickest shower in his entire life. In twenty minutes flat, he was out and toweling off swiftly as a chill breeze eased in under the inch wide gap under the door. He was disappointed that he couldn’t savor the warm water a bit longer, but he didn’t really have time. He still had to get dressed and get to Pinaka’s Teahouse in less than thirty minutes. Normally, he wouldn’t have really concerned himself with the clock… but his stomach was gurgling for food and he had a date with a girl in a very sexy dress who probably wasn’t in a very forgiving mood tonight.

Fortunately, he’d found a foolproof way to get dressed in no time flat; a monochromatic wardrobe. Everything he owned was a basic color that went with whatever happened to be folded next to it. He preferred the darker shades mostly because they didn’t stain as easily, but also because the paler ones tended to wash out on him. Draping a towel over his hair, Kakashi entered the small area reserved for his bed and a small chest of drawers.

He grabbed whatever happened to be at the top of the drawer reserved for civilian attire (which normally only saw use on undercover missions), a fresh undershirt and boxer briefs and began getting dressed. Pakkun came sauntering in and jumped on the bed while he finished fastening his pants. “Going out with the girl tonight?” the small dog asked as he circled the spot he intended to lay down on a few times before settling himself.

“Yes. I sort of owe her dinner, seeing as I destroyed hers,” Kakashi answered while tugging his mask into place.

“... Why’d you do that?”

Chuckling, Kakashi glanced over his shoulder and winked his unclosed eye at the frowning canine. “It’s a dating ritual for humans. Woman offers to cook dinner. Man ruins dinner to get her in a short dress.”

Pakkun snorted, his muzzle quirking every so slight into a dog grin. “For a guy who says he’s only datin’ her to teach a lesson, you sure do some weird things just to see her in a dress,” he commented lazily.

Kakashi frowned at the pug as he tugged his boots on and made his way into the living room again to retrieve his wallet from his vest. “Wanting to see her dress doesn’t mean anything beyond the fact that she has very nice legs,” Kakashi called back. “Rule number thirty-three; sometimes the most obvious solution is the correct one.”

The door shut and locked just as the little dog jumped off the bed and went trotting into the cramped living room. Pakkun waited until he could no longer hear Kakashi’s footsteps before muttering, “Rule number fifty-six; some missions will break all the rules.”