Hard Love Life

They soon finished shopping for clothes and stopped by the toy department. When they left Seiun and Acheron each had a pretty geisha doll in their hands, snuggling them. "So paint is next." Hidan said, carrying two of the bags.

Kakuzu regretfully handed over the bills to the cashier when they had to pay. He groaned when he remembered that they needed paint and how much more walking they were going to have to do. "I hate you sometimes Hidan. Especially for hitting my bad hip."

"You had it coming." Hidan said, "But if you want we can get the paint tomorrow. I can get the paint tomorrow. What do you say?" Hidan picked Seiun up with a grunt, putting her on his shoulders.

"Oh yeah, I really did," Kakuzu muttered sarcastically. "Let's just get it tomorrow, I can't walk much more." He turned around and began toward the direction of the base.

"You were being a jerk, and you didn't put on the brace." Hidan said, "Tomorrow it is then. One more night for you two to sleep in Tobi's room." Seiun and Acheron nodded hesitantly, not wanting to see the plant again.

"It doesn't give you a reason to injure my hip more, insensitive brat." Kakuzu muttered, looking away. He sighed when they finally reached the base, opening the door and setting the girl's stuff in his and Hidan's room.

"Well sorry." Hidan snapped, setting Seiun down, "At least you now know not to leave without the brace. Now lay down and I'll have the girls take a nap."

Kakuzu frowned and laid down, folding his arms behind his head. "I need your help to put it on." He felt pathetic with always needing Hidan to do things now, but he would have to deal with it.

"I know that. I'll be right back." Hidan took Seiun's and Acheron's hands and left, returning five minutes later, "Alright, lets do this." He picked up the brace and sat next to Kakuzu. "Under or over your clothes?"

Kakuzu waited for Hidan and sighed, trying to move a bit to make himself a bit more comfortable. He looked at Hidan when he came in and watched him. "Under my clothes."

Hidan nodded and tugged Kakuzu's pants down to his knees; lifting his hips and putting on the brace, "Pull your pants up. I know you don't like me staring at you like you’re a piece of meat."

Kakuzu sighed and felt like he lost all dignity when Hidan pulled down his pants and put on the brace. He tugged up his pants and turned onto his side, away from Hidan.

Hidan sighed sadly. "What's wrong Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu tried to ignore Hidan, but slowly replied. "I have no dignity. I'm old and useless."

"You have dignity. More then I do. I'm a sex craved murderer." Hidan said, sitting next to Kakuzu and petting his head, "Your not some quadriplegic who can't do shit. Your hip just hurts. You may be old but you're not useless. I love you."

"And least you don't have to have someone help you put on a hip brace." Kakuzu could feel his pride slowly being taken from him. "Yeah, I love you too."

"I would need help to. Now stop acting all sad. It doesn't suit you." Hidan turned into a woman and stripped. He laid next to his lover and snuggled next to him, "Now rest."

Kakuzu turned around and wrapped his arms around Hidan's waist. He kissed his lover's forehead. "You like being a woman, don't you?"

"Not really." Hidan said, "I did it to make you feel better."

Kakuzu shook his head, "You don't have to, I like you as a man and a woman."

"Hmm. But you like my boobs." Hidan said, "You like them a lot." He kissed Kakuzu's head, before pressing his face into his cleavage.

Kakuzu frowned. "You're suffocating me in your boobs!" He managed to muffle out.

Hidan pulled Kakuzu's face away slightly. "There? Is that better? You still have my breasts in your face. Don't you like that?"

Kakuzu nodded and kissed the top of Hidan's breasts. "They are a really nice pair of breasts Hidan."

"I am good at transformation jutsus. I could turn into... .Well I can't think of anything else you'd like other then money." Hidan sighed and kissed the top of Kakuzu's head. "Feeling less old and useless heathen?"

Kakuzu nuzzled his face into Hidan's breasts, smiling softly. "Yes, I'm feeling less old and useless now."

"Oh good." Hidan said lazily, starting to braid Kakuzu's hair, "Your hair is like... really coarse. I like it."

Kakuzu resisted the urge to smack away Hidan's hands. "I'm glad you like it Hidan." He finally dozed off

Hidan sat up and stretched. He slid off the bed and went to take a shower, slipping on Kakuzu's cloak and padding off. He returned, smelling like roses and blood; the blood smell from a ritual. Hidan slipped back into the bed and pinched Kakuzu's cheek.

Kakuzu grunted when Hidan pinched his cheek and rolled over away from Hidan. "Did you waste all the hot water?"

"No I did not. I took a cold shower." Hidan said, shivering, "Help me warm up?"

Kakuzu shook his head and stood up, "Use the covers. I'm going to have some alone time." Digging through his bookcase he fond his favorite book. Going into his closet, he grabbed his bath supplies and headed off to the bathroom. Once he was in, he took off the brace and started up the tub, getting undressed while he waited for it to fill. Kakuzu set a few scented candles around the tub, lighting them up. Looking through his bag, he found a green ribbon to tie his hair back with so it didn't get into the water. He locked the door and turned into a woman before getting into the tub and turning off the water, grabbing his book nearby and starting to read. This was his personal time that he took once every four or so months to just let all the stress of the world out. But he took it randomly, never planning it out, just whenever he felt like it was an appropriate time to take it.

Hidan sighed and got up. "I haven't killed anyone for a while... I'll go do that." Hidan got dressed and left, but not before yelling at Zetsu to not eat, maim, or scare the girls. He waited in the allies, attracting the attention of men who thought they were going to get some action, forced or other wise. They offered Hidan money or simply pulled out a knife and threatened to kill him if he made any noise. It wasn't to long until he had filled a dumpster with corpses. He headed back, his chest aching from stabbing there so often and went to the room, using hand wipes to clean himself. He then waited for Kakuzu to come back. He sighed as he looked at his mangled left breast.

Kakuzu finished his bath a little while after Hidan returned and he didn't bother to take out the hair ribbon yet because he was hoping he had the room alone for a little while, Digging through his bath bag once more, he pulled out a simple vibrator he used to cool down after his bath. Then after that he normally slept or had a nice cup of tea and finished whatever book he was reading. His ideas were shattered when he saw Hidan in the bedroom when he came back. Kakuzu dropped his bath things and vibrator and looked at Hidan. "You weren't supposed to be here!" He grumbled, changing back into his male form, taking out the ribbon and picking up his things off the ground.

"Well sorry for killing so fast. Do you have any idea how many men wanted to take advantage me?" Hidan snickered softly, "Was that a personal vibrator?"

"Well maybe you should've became a man and hit on some women instead," Kakuzu grumbled, putting away his things. "Yes, it was, I rather like to pleasure myself during my alone time."

"Bah! I got rid of scum." Hidan said, fingering his ruined dress, "I kind of figured you'd be old fashioned and use your hands. I must be gay. Didn't find you being a woman very appealing."

"Ah you just wanted to be a slut." Kakuzu muttered, pulling on some boxers and pants. "Vibrators feel… So much better than my hands. And honestly I don't care if you found me appealing or not, because your opinion doesn't count in my alone time. No one's does. Only mine."

"I just stood there. Didn't do anything at all. Didn't flirt, didn't make eye contact. What a bunch of pervs." Hidan said, scowling, "Vibrators are inferior to human partners. You can't cuddle with one and they don't say they love you. They're crap."

"Hm. I still think you just wanted to be a slut." Kakuzu said, going back into his bed with his book. "Alone time doesn't involve others, why would I want to cuddle with someone when I could pleasure myself then go make myself a cup of tea? Plus, it's not like you would sleep with me while I'm in my female form, which is how I spend alone time."

"What ever. I don't want to see you as a woman again. I hate it. Stay in the bathroom the whole time." Hidan curled up and turned away from Kakuzu, no longer happy or comfortable.

"I'm not going to not follow what I do for my alone time just because you don't like it. The world doesn't revolve around you. Next time I do this, whether you're in the room or not, I plan on going on with my normal routine," Kakuzu growled and went back to his book.

"Fine. I'll just move in with the girls. We'll only share a bed when we have sex." Hidan snapped, "I'll be surprised if you ever get sex again. You just turned me off big time." Hidan new he was being mean, but he didn't like the idea of Kakuzu being a woman. He liked him to be strong and masculine and most importantly, have a penis. He didn't feel safe any more.

"Fine, I wouldn't have a problem with that." Kakuzu glared at Hidan. "If I want sex then, I'll just get a whore, not like there's much of a difference between you and them." He stretched out in the bed and tried to read, his alone time being totally wrecked by Hidan.

"At least I don't have an STD like they do." Hidan sighed, "I'm sorry. It just makes me feel so uncomfortable."

"I'm sure STDs are the only difference." Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "There are times you should keep your opinions to yourself."

"I guess... ." Hidan whimpered, "I don't feel safe anymore."

Kakuzu let out a soft scoff; "I would never become a woman when it's not my alone time. It's just awkward to pamper myself like that when I'm a man, I do it to feel more comfortable."

"I pamper my self. What's wrong with being a man when you do it?" Hidan growled, "Like yourself the way you are. You're an idiot.

"Well you're a bit girly and an uke, you should pamper yourself to please your seme. I'm manly; I shouldn't have to pamper myself. It's just odd." Kakuzu looked to the side, knowing Hidan wouldn't understand.

"Well then no more massages for you." Hidan said, "You hate to pamper yourself as a man and there is no fucking way I'll give one to you when you’re a woman."

"That's different. That's a sexual massage, not pampering." Kakuzu shook his head; he just didn't get Hidan.

"Fuck you! Just fuck you! And where is your brace?" Hidan stood up and glared at Kakuzu, "Do you want to be a cripple? Do you?!"

Kakuzu glared at Hidan. "My brace is over there." He motioned calmly to the brace on top of his towel. "Hidan. If you're going to yell, you should just leave."

"Don't take it off! It doesn't rust so you can bathe in it!" Hidan kicked over the desk, "You're so stupid. I care about you and you slap it in my face! You don't wear the brace! It won't heal right and you'll be a cripple and then Leader will dispatch you! He'll kill you! I'll be alone!" Hidan slammed his head into the wall before sliding to his knees, leaving a smear of blood on the wall.

Kakuzu sighed and let Hidan rant to himself, going back to the book he was reading. After a few minutes he looked at the wall and Hidan. "Instead of whining about it, why don't you put the brace back on me?"

Hidan grumbled before grabbing the brace and roughly pulling down Kakuzu's pants. "Fuck you." he hissed as he tugged Kakuzu's hips up and put the brace on. Hidan sighed and plopped next to Kakuzu, gripping his arm. "I need sex."

Kakuzu went back reading as Hidan put the brace on, "You need sex? Maybe someone else will service you. That little show you put on made sure we're not having sex for the next two weeks."

“I thought you were the only person who could be inside of me!" Hidan snapped, "That's what you told me."

Kakuzu scowled, "Yes the only person that could be inside of you."

Hidan got out of the bed and stomped to the door. "See ya. I'm going to find some man to fuck me." he pulled the door open and stomped out, slamming it behind him.

Kakuzu shook his head, doubting that Hidan would actually do it. He put down his book and went to the kitchen, making himself a small cup of tea to relieve the headache.