Everything He Ever Wanted (naruto version)

sango: i apologize for taking so long to update and for leaving it how i left it... um...that sounds redundant, so i wont continue rambling....



anywhoo...



THANKS TO TACHIMARU-SAN FOR ALL THE COOKIES....

and everyone else that reviewed!!!









anywhoo...on with the fic....



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13









Shikamaru stood up from stool and walked over to the small guitarist, gripping his shoulders, trying to prevent the redhead from hyperventilating. Gaara’s eyes were wide and unfocused, tears threatening to overflow. Fear gripped his throat; he chocked on sobs as they wracked his body, the dam breaking as tears streaked down his face. He buried his face in Shikamaru’s chest, gripping the drummer’s shirt as the elder tried to soothe him. The other men remained silent, anxiously watching as the scene unfolded before them.



Neji felt for his friend, he really did. Almost the exact same thing happened to him when he found out he was in love with Sasuke, even though he’d been sleeping with other people. But once all the ugly emotions were processed and sorted into something seemingly understandable—and that was an understatement—he’d felt better. Unfortunately, this was more difficult because there were so many people involved—for him it was only Sasuke; he didn’t fell the same way for Naruto and Shikamaru as he did for Sasuke.



“Gaara. You have to calm down. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. ” Neji commanded from his stool, his tone serious though his gaze was sympathetic. He waited until the young guitarist calmed down enough to look at him.



“I’m sorry.” Gaara said once he’d calmed, looking embarrassed at having panicked in front of them.



“I know this will sound a little harsh but...man Gaara, you’re not a child. You knew the consequences before this happened and you knew that your emotions could not come into play. But now that they have, you have to face this and sort them out. You have to figure out what you want; if you even want a relationship, or if it’s the sex talking.”



Neji sighed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He looked over at Sasuke and grabbed the bassist’s hand giving it a tense squeeze, the squeeze he received in turn calmed him.



“You have to calm down in order to organize your thoughts and emotions. What do you want?” The question was simple enough; the answer was more complicated.



“I... I don’t know what I want.” Gaara finished uncertainly.



“Okay, what don’t you want?” Naruto asked helpfully. Gaara took a deep breath. This was much easier.



“I don’t want our band to break up because I can’t control my emotions—”



“That’s not going to happen.” Shikamaru quickly intervened, sensing the younger guitarist close to tears again.



“I don’t want to choose between you two.”



The statement, only a handful of words, brought silence so tense, the tenseness could be cut with a knife.



Naruto looked away from the guitarist to meet Neji’s wise gaze. He looked away again, this time staring a hole at his dinner. Shikamaru looked at Naruto, sensing his quiet distress and hugged Gaara closer to him. Sasuke remained silent, watching everything unfold. He looked at each man individually: the hurt look in Naruto’s eyes; the possessive hold Shikamaru had on Gaara; the youngest member’s lost look.



Apparently, these three loved each other; there was a complicated love triangle going on. From what he could guess, Naruto liked Gaara, but he also liked Shikamaru; Shikamaru liked Gaara, but he also liked Naruto; but he didn’t know where that left the redhead. The guitarist cared deeply for both of them, but the same thing could be said about himself and Neji. It was also clear to see that he didn’t want to be left out of the loop, and Naruto’s guilty look confirmed that.



“There are two things you can do. Either you say what you want right now-” he held up a hand to stop Gaara, who had opened his mouth to speak, “or you let things play out and let time handle things for you. But believe me, you don’t want to leave this up to fate, take things into your own hands, you don’t know what will happen or if someone will make the decision for you.” Sasuke said wisely, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, the flame playing dramatically across his face as he pulled deeply on the cancer stick.



They all stared at the bassist; Neji in amazement and love—he knew Sasuke was smarter and wiser than anyone gave him credit for, the bastard was just too lazy to let his smarts show. Naruto’s eyes were wide with a mixture of understanding and uncertainty. His gaze kept flicking to Shikamaru and the possessive hold he had on Gaara, and his gaze dropped every time, as though it would be different each time he looked. Shikamaru looked undecided; the wheels turning in his head visible through his eyes. Gaara looked more lost now than he did before. He didn’t know what to do.



“I...what if I wait a few days? You know, give me a few days to think things through…to not make a rash decision...” He trailed off more tentative than confident of his own plan.



Sasuke was about to protest, but Neji stopped him.



“That’s a good idea. You’ll also need a few days to heal.” He said, trying to lighten the awkward silence. Shikamaru followed the guitarist’s plan, gasping in an exaggerated manner, his tone obviously sarcastic, and mockingly shocked.



“Really?! A few days?” Neji narrowed his eyes at him, playfully throwing a grape from the fruit bowl at the drummer.



“Yes, days.” He said curtly.



“Yeah.” Sasuke said, shaking his head as he remembered his and Neji’s first time.



“After our first time, Neji wouldn’t let me anywhere near him for a week.” Neji gave an undignified squeak, hitting Sasuke’s shoulder before smacking the back of his head.



“Chotto! What was that for?!” The bassist demanded, rubbing his abused head as Naruto and Shikamaru laughed. Gaara couldn’t help it—he smiles, joining in on the laughter, momentarily forgetting his current dilemma.



They finished ‘breakfast’ completely at ease, if not for the slightly uncomfortable at the fact that Gaara couldn’t sit down. Seeing as how two of the men could barely walk and another could barely move, they decided to remain indoors for the rest of the evening, all thoughts of unpleasantness out of their minds even though it loomed over them like a dark cloud; they were that good at ignoring things. Like ignoring rabid fangirls and that one fanfiction Gaara passed out over about himself and Sasuke that involved BDSM and Sasuke as uke. It was too much for then-innocent Gaara.



It was close to midnight when the other members of the visual kei band finally left to their own homes, feeling slightly guilty for imposing on the young guitarist for so long. Neji went home with Sasuke, the two having finalized their plans for living together (it was the only course of action to take after that possessive statement earlier by Sasuke and his declaration of love for Neji). Naruto and Shikamaru left their separate ways; the former had been sneaking longing glances at the arm Shikamaru kept possessively around Gaara’s midsection the rest of the evening. Shikamaru did look guilty, but the drummer knew how to mask it—mostly.



Gaara was left alone to sit, more like lean sideways, on the couch left alone with his thoughts and Midnight on his lap. He had told them that he needed a few days to think things through. And while he didn’t want to start right away, that was the only thing going on in his mind. The thoughts chased themselves and began to overwhelm him once again now that he was alone. He tried to organize his thoughts as Neji told him to, tried to figure out what it was that he wanted. And he knew.



He didn’t want to be left out of the loop…didn’t want to be the only one without someone to come home to. He also didn’t want to choose between the two. They were too important. Then again, what was wrong with not being a part of it? That’s how it was before and it didn’t bother him, why should it now? Because he got laid after so long? If anything, he felt more daring and willing to be able to do those things more. He knew what his fans thought of him, and could pursue a romantic relationship with someone else. If he really thought about it, he really cared about Naruto and Shikamaru. But it was also the same way he cared for Sasuke and Neji. All this emotional drama was over nothing—his feelings hadn’t changed. However his bodily urges had increased and he wanted more of it.



But he knew that wasn’t what he wanted.



He wanted Naruto and he wanted Shikamaru.



He began to replay in his mind what had happened this morning and last night.



Both times he’d broken down it had been Shikamaru who had been there to comfort him.



Gaara knew he didn’t want just sex with anyone. He wanted to be loved and comforted and feel safe as he had with Shikamaru those times. His heart began to beat a little faster as he remembered the way the drummer held him—almost possessively. But then he remembered the hurt look on Naruto’s face and a pang of guilt raced through him. A thought of realization shot through him—an epiphany one would call it.



Naruto was in love with Shikamaru.



Then again he could be completely wrong as he was most times, and Naruto could be...in love with...him?



The thought was preposterous and farther than his most unbelievable dreams.



Naruto wasn’t in love with him...it was...it was probably jealousy that Shikamaru was hugging Gaara and not him.



But now that…everything had happened, he really didn’t want to be alone. He really, really didn’t. He wanted to have what Sasuke and Neji had; as impossible as it seemed. Being the type of person that he was, he didn’t let people too close, and had never believed in love for himself. But now he wanted it—he craved it. He just didn’t know it would hurt so much to have to choose between Naruto and Shikamaru. It would be the right, noble thing to do –to let them be happy together. But he knew he couldn’t; it would hurt too much and he was much too selfish. He wanted them both.



His hand stopped mid stroke through Midnight’s soft fur.



The feline nudged his hand with her head, not wanting him to stop petting her, breaking him out of his trance.



Did he really think that?



Was he really that selfish?



The more he thought about it, the more sure he grew. Yes. He wanted them both for himself. He also thought about what Sasuke said—how he wasn’t going to share Neji with anyone ever again...yeah! He didn’t want to share Shikamaru or Naruto with anyone else. The thought of anyone seeing them like that with anyone else, aside from each other—that was hot, made his blood boil. He knew it was irrational, that he had no claim on either of them, but...he couldn’t think about it. Shikamaru or Naruto...with someone that wasn’t him...it hurt too much. He didn’t want to be alone...but he wanted them both to be happy...with him.



Steeling his resolve he sucked in a deep breath. He knew what he had to do.









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also....i probably wont update again for a while....

BUT!!! this is the second to last chapter....

i KNOW!!!