100 Themes fics

Title: Seeking Solace

Pairing/Characters: KakaIru, Kotetsu, Izumo

Rating: PG

Warnings: Yaoi M/M relationships, Angst, WAFF, One-shot, COMPLETE, No sexual content

Summary: Sometimes all we need is a little reassurance

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... obviously

Dedication: To Fuyu_no_akegata (you've come a long way babe), written for 100 themes



"Why do you do this to yourself?" Izumo asked, leaning on the mission desk across from Iruka, Kotetsu beside with a nearly identical expression of confusion.



The brunet the question was directed at rubbed his eyes, an obvious attempt to clear them before his shift started. "I don't know. I keep... trying to let go and I just can't. He was my best friend, sometimes I was so sure I loved him and now I think sometimes that I hate him and that hurts more than anything," Iruka said, the scar on his nose twitching as he scrunched up his eyes and tried to make the tears stop.



"So stop going to see him, stop dragging yourself to see him if it hurts so much," Kotetsu said. The spikey-haired chunin frowned as he said, already certain the 'advice' would be ignored.



Iruka stared at the mission reports, picking one up as he began sorting them into piles. "Am I really as weak as he says..." The comment made absently, not even really a response.



Kakashi sighed, slid a hand through his hair and tucked his book away. He'd intended to pick up a quick mission but when he'd landed outside the window and overheard the conversation his plas had changed. Ducking inside as soundlessly as he'd landed, the jounin laid a hand on Iruka's shoulder and smiled at the room's only other occupants, the two chunin that his lover had been speaking too. "Iruka's coming with me, you two can cover for him and we'll forget about the favor you owe me."



"Kakashi, I'm fine really... I just need a minute," Iruka said, though his voice still shook and the protest sounded weak at best. It didn't matter however since a moment later they were both gone in a puff of smoke.



~



The landing was precise, Iruka sitting on the couch in place of his chair and Kakashi behind him. Sliding around to the front of the couch, Kakashi sat, then immediately slid an arm around Iruka and pulled him close. He didn't say anything just held him, brushed Iruka's hair back from his eyes, and waited.



The was a quiet sniffle as Iruka rubbed his eyes, tucked safely in his lover's arms. It was followed by a slightly shakey sigh that was breathed out almost reluctantly as tears slid silently over tanned cheeks. "Sometimes I think I deserved it."



The words were whispered, half-heartedly, and Kakashi said nothing only held Iruka a little tigher. They'd done this before and sometimes what Izumo and Kotetsu said simply didn't help and sometimes it did but Kakashi knew what Iruka needed when it didn't.



"When I'm standing there in front of him and he says I was never there for him, that I just didn't understand... I believe it," Iruka started again, his voice choking a little more with tears as he spoke. "I read the letters he sends and I think... was I really such a horrible person? Am I really so weak?" He sniffed again, the tears breaking the words up and making them unintelligble to anyone other than possibly Kakashi. "He wasn't even aiming for me, but he's right... I failed him and I failed Naruto..." Iruka tilted his head up and looked at Kakashi, tears streaming down his cheeks. "...and I deserved it."



Kakashi reached up and brushed the tears away, kissing each of Iruka's cheeks as he did. "You didn't fail Naruto, you're not weak, and no matter what Mizuki or youbelieve you didn't deserve it."



Iruka's chest shuddered and the tears streamed down his cheeks. He twisted his head free of Kakashi's hand and buried his face against the man's shoulder for a long moment. "Thank you," he whispered finally, not lifting his head, it had been what he needed to hear and they both knew it.