Is This What You Wanted?

In having lost motivation for a lot of these old fics, I’m trying to finish them off as soon as I can for a number of reasons. 

If there was one thing that worried Sasuke, it was seeing the way his brother’s sanity continued to dwindle until he was sure there was nothing left at all.  The sessions with Pein and Konan hadn’t helped, and it didn’t seem like Deidara was helping either, no matter what the blond did for him.  Itachi had been serious when he told Sasuke to leave him be, but the younger male could see a train wreck was about to happen if he didn’t try and do something about this soon. 

Deidara wasn’t about today, Sasuke knew that.  Itachi had been wandering aimlessly around the building, looking as if he were lost.  It worried the younger Uchiha, knowing that this behaviour was abnormal. 

Doing as his gut told him to, Sasuke followed Itachi back to the taller male’s bedroom.  The sickly male wasn’t aware of his sibling’s presence, believing that he was alone.  The spiky-haired male wasn’t entirely sure of what Itachi was up to, but he did know that the knife his brother had hidden in his sleeve had been taken from the kitchen. 

It would probably forever be a mystery to Sasuke how Itachi got into a kitchen and left undetected with a knife, but that didn’t matter; what mattered was the fact that Sasuke’s dark orbs were watching a hand wrap around that same knife, raising it to pale wrists. 

The younger male understood what was happening, and one-thousand thoughts ran through his mind, unconscious of the fact that his feet were moving.

“Itachi!” Sasuke shouted, his hands instinctively reaching out and grabbing the blade of the knife.  He didn’t feel the pain of having his hand sliced open; all that mattered was that he had been in time to save his brother’s life. 

Staring into confused onyx eyes, the smaller male couldn’t help but whisper, “Why... would you...?”

Itachi let go of the knife, instead focusing on tearing the sleeve of his shirt to try and stem the blood.  He closed his eyes, becoming stoic once more as he spoke.  “You understand... Sasuke...”

“I know I understand...  That’s why...” Sasuke looked down, watching nimble fingers tend to his wound.  “...That’s why I don’t understand...”

“Life hurts, Sasuke...” Itachi pulled his hand back to his person.  “People hurt each other, and hide behind false lies and promises...”

“Itachi...” Sasuke understood; Itachi was blaming himself for the way their lives have turned out.  “...Itachi, you never did break your promise to me...”

“...” The older male closed his eyes, emotionless. 

“Those promises you made to me when I was little...  The promises to protect me, no matter what...  You always did fulfil them, Itachi...  I...  I was the one who broke my promises...”

Voices of the past ghosted through Itachi’s mind, recalling vividly the promises they had made each other.  “...”

“My promises to you, Itachi...” Sasuke looked down at his hands, frowning.  “...My promises are the ones I could never keep...  I was never as strong as you...  I couldn’t handle the life we lived...  I forgot how much I loved you, and all of the things you sacrificed for my happiness...  Itachi...  You never wronged me once in my life...  It was me...”

Itachi tensed slightly as he felt skinny arms wrap around him.  He opened his eyes, finding that Sasuke was hugging him, burying his face in the older male’s chest. 

“There’s nothing for me to forgive when it comes to you, but...” Sasuke sighed, “...will you forgive me, Itachi...?”

“...” Itachi closed his eyes as he returned the embrace.  “...Foolish little brother...  I already have forgiven you...”

For the first time in years, Sasuke felt a genuine smile slip onto his face.