Spiral Falling

Title: Spiral Falling
Author: BeccaAmon
Genre: AU
Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke x Naruto
Warnings: Shoune, ya, yaoi, lemon, language
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.
Archived at: [Voyeurism]http://www.geocities.com/serenitatishime/
[Banana Oil]http://www.bananaoil.tk/
Author’s note: My first Naruto and NC-17 fanfiction. Be kind, enjoy^^. Thanks for reading. Thank you Ailetoile for beta-reading.
Feedback: Always welcome, especially constructive. If you’re just e-mailing me to tell me you’re enjoying the fanfic, that’s deeply appreciated.
Beta: Thanks Ailetoile

“….” - Dialogue
* - Scene change/ time pass
Italic – Memory

011 - Chatting with birds and fishes.

~*~

Sasuke and Naruto waved to the group as everyone went inside their assigned rooms. After a short break, the class participated in a series of activities, most of which had to do with understanding of themselves as growing individuals. The purpose of the retreat was to distance themselves from their daily distractions so that they could focus solely on the person within.

Outdoor activities had been postponed due to the rainy weather, so the students were given an extra hour before bedtime to do what they wished. Kiba and Shino waved as they entered their room, leaving Sasuke and Naruto alone in the dim hallway. Sasuke watched Naruto walking ahead of him, twirling the keys as he approached their room. He hastened his steps and just as the blonde tossed the keys in the air he deftly caught them.

"Wha-?" He saw the surprise blossom in Naruto's face when he pocketed the keys and the small start when Sasuke shoved him against the wall opposite their empty bedroom. Sasuke didn't give him a chance to speak before he captured the bewildered mouth and thrust his invading tongue inside. He felt Naruto's body freeze against his as he pressed the blonde against the wall. He held Naruto's arms above his head as he rocked against the firm body. Somehow, Naruto managed to slip a wrist free and pushed Sasuke away enough to disentangle their tongues and lips. The blonde boy breathed heavily as he caught his breath, glaring at Sasuke.

He looked down the empty hallway and then eyed all the doors carefully. Only when he deemed it safe did the blonde turn to him again.

"What are you doing?" he hissed sharply. "Anyone could walk down the hall or open their door!"

Sasuke grinned as he held Naruto's head in his hands. He leaned close to an ear, licking the soft lobe. "Exactly."

He felt the boy stiffen at what his answer implied. Kissing him briefly and then placing a silencing finger against the bruised lips, Sasuke ran his other hand downward. As his hand traveled over Naruto's stomach, he whispered his intent to the shivering boy. Sasuke guessed the boy shook from either wariness at being discovered or excitement. Either way, Sasuke thought, it would make for an interesting experience.

He unhooked the button on Naruto's pants and unzipped the metal zipper, all the while showering the boy's neck with nibbles and kisses. He kissed the boy briefly, then knelt in front of the open fly and looked up into the glazed, nervous eyes. He watched Naruto look down the hallway once more and lick his slightly dry lips in nervous anticipation. Sasuke grinned up at the boy as he slipped the hard cock out of the blonde's pants and gave it a long, wet lick from base to tip. Closing his fist around the base, he lapped at the swollen head before taking it into his warm mouth. He placed his other hand on the boy's hips to hold him up when he saw the trembling knees begin to buckle. He stroked the base firmly as he sucked, quick and wet, slowing when he could feel the boy stiffening on the verge of orgasm. Removing his hand from around the cock, he massaged the sensitive balls lightly with his thumb. He heard Naruto's uneven breathing and a soft keening moan that would have been much louder in other circumstances. He took the cock deeper into his mouth allowing Naruto a few shallow thrusts. His hands slid behind the boy's thighs and kneaded the firm ass while guiding the hot cock into his mouth.

Above him, Naruto's breath grew quicker, hands pulling at Sasuke’s scalp, making it sting and causing his eyes to water. He felt the body stiffen just before he felt hot cum flood his mouth. He swallowed it quickly, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. He glanced upwards at Naruto. The boy's head was thrown back, his eyes shut tight and his mouth still open from his silent cry of euphoria. Sasuke caught the boy's body as it slumped against the wall and dragged Naruto to their bedroom just as one of the doors opened, spilling several of their classmates out into the hallway.

Sasuke shut the door behind them then leaned Naruto against its hard surface. He pushed the sweaty bangs off the boy's forehead and kissed him, first on his still-shut eyelids, then on both cheeks, on the tip of the nose and then a chaste kiss to the bruised lips.

"Uchiha…"

"Hmmm?" he inquired, amused at the breathless quality of the other boy's voice.

"I'm now fairly certain you are an exhibitionist."

Sasuke's bark of laughter followed.

"Nah… Just part exhibitionist." He winked and gave the breathless boy a thorough kiss.

Separating their lips, Naruto tiredly leaned forward to rest against Sasuke and embraced the other boy. They stayed in the warm embraced for a while, and once their legs got tired they walked to the bed and fell to the mattress together. Neither of them allowed their arms to let go of the other.

A piercing sensation thrummed deep within Sasuke, just before he had the most peculiar feeling of falling… Falling… Falling. The pain was sweet, indescribable.

"I don't want to let go," he whispered, shutting his eyes tight, preparing himself for any hurt that would come with such a confession. Silence met his words, then a reassuring squeeze.

"Then don't let go. I don't want to either."

Silence reigned until Sasuke found his voice once more, pushing it past the tightness in his throat.

"Uzumaki, I think I'm…"

He felt the boy move and met suspiciously bright eyes.

"What?"

He averted his eyes, feeling a bit of trepidation suddenly. The things he felt were so new, so unknown, leaving him feeling uncertain and awkward. Instead of replying, he kissed the patiently waiting boy. He kissed him and the other kissed back. They kissed and held each other until Sasuke thought Naruto had forgotten he said anything at all.

"I think I'm falling…"


*


"You must remember that before you can respect and love another, you must first respect and love yourself. It is not selfishness. To be able to love yourself enables you to love another just as strongly. Today we are going to explore…"

Sasuke tuned the discussion out, his eyes drifting pthe the six people in his group circle until they landed on the hunched figure of the blonde boy. The past two days had been filled with activities: group activities, sharing of thoughts, opinions and of memories. The large group would split into smaller groups and prepare presentations or complete a task that usually led to lessons on life and love and an awareness of self. He didn't begrudge these activities or the lessons they learned; he only grew slightly angry when he was not able to be with the blonde boy. He felt he was indeed learning about such things as life and love and awareness of quite a few things, but he felt strongly about learning them together with Naruto. He’d chastised himself particularly on one occasion when all he’d wanted to do was to stomp his foot in frustration when once again Naruto was assigned to another group and was sent out of the building to participate in an outdoor activity.

"Then don't let go. I don't want to either."

He signed inwardly and watched as Shikamaru poked Naruto in the ribs to keep the boy from nodding off. They stayed up during the nights, sometimes talking, kissing, exploring and sometimes just holding on tightly to one other. Sleep only came when the darkness lightened or when the other fell asleep. On more that one occasion, Sasuke found himself just watching Naruto sleep, watching the rise and fall of his naked chest and feeling wondrous at how much his life, their lives, had changed.

"I think I'm…"

"All right, does anyone have any thoughts they would like to share or questions they're just dying to ask?" the excessively bouncy counselor inquired merrily, apparently finished with her speech for now.

Several hands rose in the air and a few expressed their opinions. Some questions were repeated over and over, only in different words. Sasuke watched and listened passively, only paying attention with half an ear, not wanting to miss anything in case he was asked for his own opinions.

"Yes, Sakura-chan… I can call you Sakura right?"

"Yes, that's fine."

Sasuke's eyes swiveled to her, a queasy feeling in his stomach somehow prompting him to pay attention.

"How do you know that you're in love? It is possible to love someone more than you love yourself?"

From the corner of his eye, he saw Naruto sit up straighter, suddenly wide awake. His own ears grew warm as he sat, waiting for an answer.

"Before I say anything, what do you think Sakura?"

"I…" She bowed her head, biting her bottom lip, a habit she never outgrew. Then, with determined eyes she set her shoulders and looked straight at Sasuke, meeting his eyes. Although she flinched at his hardened stare, she continued anyway. "I think you know you're in love when you want only the most wonderful things to happen to that person. When you don't want any harm to come to them and when you're aware of their entire being, even if you're miles away. Always worrying, wondering and hoping." She gave a brave swallow and licked her dry lips. "I think it's possible to love someone more than you love yourself. Always wanting to give everything to him first and worry about yourself later." She paused and silence fell heavily in the air.

A few heads turned, looking back and forth between the two of them. Beside Sakura, Ino's head was bowed, her fist clenched on her lap, her shoulders shaking. He couldn't look away from Sakura's green eyes no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to, badly. He wanted to see how Naruto looked and he wanted to get up and hurt her for daring to confess so blatantly in front of so many people.

In the end, he blinked slowly, turned away and looked straight ahead, unseeing.

"Ummm…" The counselor cleared her throat and turned her attention to Sakura, voice less perky, a little softer.

He didn't see how Sakura looked, nor did he hear most of what was said.

"First love yourself… Loving someone didn't mean… It's not love when… Unconditional…"

The sentences sounded broken in his ears. He pasted on a mask, looking uncaring, detached. It was far too familiar. He still felt her pleading eyes on him.

"Hey Naruto! Get up! This isn't your bedroom!"

"Wha- Sleepy… Stop poking…"

The commotion broke the tension immediately and Sasuke was by Naruto's side when he shakily stood up.

"Excuse him," he apologized for the boy, "I don't think he slept much last night. I'll bring him to our…The room."

The teachers nodded their consent and he half-dragged Naruto out of the room, leaving the uncomfortable discussion and the pleading stares behind.

Only when they passed the lobby did Naruto stand straighter and walk towards their room normally, fatigue evaporating as if it hadn’t been there in the first place.

"Man… That was some serious stuff!" He disentangled himself from Sasuke's supporting arms and walked backwards to speak with him face-to-face. "I thought she was going to crawl to you and start shaking you for an answer! Heck, just a word or two and I bet she would have been happy."

Sasuke felt like he had been slapped. From Naruto's words, it suddenly sounded like he really is the monster he felt he was. He bowed his head and hid his hands in his pockets, walking forward slowly.

"What the? Oh! Hey! I didn't mean it like that." Naruto's voice wavered.

A hand tugged one of his hands free from its pocket. Naruto pulled him and he was forced to keep up as the blonde ran towards their bedroom, dragging him by their entwined fingers. They entered the bedroom; the door was barely shut behind them before he was engulfed in a fierce hug. He moved his arms to hug back and buried his face in the boy's shoulder. He took in calming breaths, breathing in the boy's baby powder scent. Then Naruto let go of him and leaned against the door, arms crossing over his chest.

"I didn't mean it like that, okay? I didn't mean to insult you. I just thought that was how she looked, that's all. If she was going to say something like that, she should have damn well braced herself for every possible kind of reaction."

Sasuke nodded, fighting the urge to rub at the ache that was blossoming in his chest. He grabbed Naruto's shirt suddenly, kissing him frantically. He pulled them to a bed, pulling Naruto down on top of him. He concentrated on the boy's body on top of his own, feeling every slide of the boy's tongue against his, drawing from him a warm feeling to numb the ache. He rolled on top of the blonde boy and allowed his hand to wander over the toned body, all the while kissing desperately.

He realized his desperation and stopped, resting his hands on the hard stomach and the soft cheek.

"You should sleep. You really didn't sleep much last night."

Naruto blinked up at him.

"The same goes for you. I don't think you slept at all."

Sasuke moved to get up and kissed Naruto's neck before he stood.

"I'm fine. I have to get back. They will need me for the next activity."

Naruto nodded, unsure, and then covered himself with a blanket. Sasuke tugged the edge of the white cloth and squeezed the hand under it.

"I'll be back later to wake you for dinner. Sweet dreams."

He waited until Naruto closed his eyes, standing over the boy, watching his breathing even out. Once he was certain Naruto was asleep, he left the room.

He strolled down the hallway and instead of heading back to the others, he went outside. He found a large rock to sit on beside a small, manmade pond. The occasional fish would break the surface and then swim away. A slight drizzle fell, making his clothes, hair and skin a little damp. It had been wet all week.

"I can't get enough of him," he confessed to a wading fish. "From the moment I touched him two years ago, I was hooked. It's frightening." He wrapped his arms around himself, feeling a sudden chill.

"I don't know what the hell I'm feeling!"

The fish scurried away at the sudden cry, diving back down into the dark depths. He raked his fingers through his hair, feeling an overwhelming frustration.

He heard approaching footsteps crunching on the pebbles around the pond and stood quickly, grabbing at his runaway composure.

"There you are."

He turned to face the camp counselor who had found him and gave a small bow.

"I checked your room to see if both of you had fallen asleep." She gave a soft smile. "Do you want to come back inside? It's kind of wet out here."

"What is love?" His question had taken her by surprise, but he noted how she adjusted quickly. "How do you decipher between love and the selfish desire to keep something, someone, close simply because they gave you something you never had? Will I turn and cling to every person who gave me a slight taste of it? "

She listened patiently and waited while he reigned in the emotions he hadn’t meant to show.

"I think you already know the answers, Uchiha-kun. I'd like to tell you what I think, but I think it's different for everyone."

She tossed her head toward the retreat center, to the other students.

"I don't want to sound repetitive or cliché, but it truly is up to you. You have to ask yourself these questions. When you feel those overwhelming feelings, think of your answers to the questions and don't let fear and doubt cloud your judgment. Grab on to it and discover what it is."

Silence.

"Wooooh…" She shivered. "It's getting pretty cold. Let's head back huh? You look like you need some sleep too. Why don't you rest as well? I'll excuse you from the next activity."

Sasuke watched her walk away. He simply replayed her words in his mind, hoping he would discover the answers. He knew he wasn't going to find them so easily.

She stopped walking, waiting for him to catch up. He trotted to walk by her side and watched the bounce in her steps and the wistful smile on her painted lips.

"I'll tell you one thing, though. For me love is like..." She spread her arms wide open looked up to the sky and closed her eyes. "...Soaring... Soaring... Soaring."

She 'soared' to the center's doors and made flapping movements with her arms. Momentarily stunned, Sasuke watched his counselor 'fly away'. He shook his head and chuckled a little.

No wonder she was so bouncy, he thought.

He didn't follow her to the recreation room; instead, he headed back to their bedroom. He entered the room and shut and locked the door behind him silently. He removed his shoes and damp shirt and pants and crawled onto his own bed, watching Naruto's turned back across the room. Several minutes later, he gave up trying to sleep on his own and moved beside the other teen. He reached out a shaking hand and stroked the turned back. Instantly, Naruto turned in his sleep and wrapped his arms and legs around him. Drawing the blanket over them, Sasuke kissed the blonde head softy and embraced the boy in return.

A myriad of thoughts came to him at once but his fatigue and the fragrant smell of baby powder kept them at bay for the time being. Sleame ame quickly and then his thoughts followed him in his dreams.


TBC