Of Samurai and Shinobi

Welcome to yet another chapter of madness >.>
It’s a bit later then usual, but I come bearing good news! I graduated!
Finally after months of preparing and toiling away, I’ve earned my dimploma!
On to the next school!

Warnings for this chapter:
- As always language
- Slight adult situations
- Many poor attempts at humor
- Slight character bashing/insulting....heh

Enjoy!

Chapter 13!
Of falling fanpeople and rub-a-dub-dubs

Naruto P.O.V.

Naruto couldn’t be happier when he saw the gates of Konoha grow bigger with every step.
His new life with Sasuke was about to begin!

He finally wouldn’t have to live alone anymore!
Unless Sasuke wanted a place of his own…
He sure didn’t hope so. Still, even if Sasuke didn’t want to live with him, they’d still get to see each other…when Naruto wasn’t on missions…and if Sasuke was allowed to stay in the first place.

‘Yosh! No more depressing thoughts!’

“Well, were here!”
Naruto said as they stood before the gate. “I can see that moron. As if those huge doors weren’t a dead give away.”
“Jerk…”
The gates opened and two guards stepped forward.

“Back so soon Naruto? Did you bungle your mission already?”
“Shut up Kiba! I didn’t mess up!”

‘Damn that Kiba…’
Why did the guy always have to be such a jerk, he really didn’t know. His dog was just as foul tempered…

“Wait a second... Where’s Akamaru?”
“Sniffing your boyfriends ass…Who is he anyways?”
Naruto turned around and was faced with Sasuke’s rather miffed, albeit amusing face.
“He’s-“
“I’m his fiancé. Now could you get your dog to leave me alone?”
“That’s right! Wait a second…what?!”
Sasuke’s arm ensnared Naruto’s lithe waist.
To any other person it looked like a loving gesture…however, the pressure of said arm proved it to be quite the opposite. To Naruto it was more of a ‘play along or I’ll kill you’ gesture.

“Now honey, you don’t have to be shy. I know you wanted to wait with telling everyone, but he appears to be a friend of yours right? He has a right to know about us.”
The grip grew tighter.
“Right?”
“R-right…Guys meet Sasuke, my fiancé.”
The second guard who had been silent for a while stepped forward.

“Congratulations Naruto on your coupling. May you and your mate be happy as the cicada during mating season.”
“Ehhhhh, thanks Shino…really.”

Shino was not the kind of guy Naruto was comfortable with. In fact, that’s probably the biggest sentence he ever heard from the guy.

“Can we go in now? I have to get to the old hag.”
“Yeah Naruto, go and report your failure.”
“Drop dead Kiba! You and your mutt too!”

The two shinobi’s gave the okay and allowed the two to go through. The two odd young men returned to their posts after waving, Akamaru following them with his tail cheerfully wagging.

Soon the grass and trees lessened and the first few buildings came into view.
It was good to be home…

“We’ll head over to Tsunade-baba first, then I’ll take you home. You’re probably tired.”
Sasuke snorted.
Naruto let it slide on account of his good mood and walked towards a huge red tower.
“Who is this Tsunade anyways?”
“She’s the current Hokage, the fifth to be exact. She’s like 50 or something, but she uses this jutsu to make her look younger…a lot younger.”
Naruto winked.
“By the way. Mind telling me when exactly we got engaged?”
“About five minutes ago…give or take a few seconds.”
“Would you at least be serious?!”
“I am very serious. Besides, it was the fastest way to get in here. Not to mention the easiest one.”
Naruto grinned. Tsunade really was going to kill him, but this would be an absolutely spectacular prank. Probably even better then the stunt he pulled on Tsunade’s ‘Hokage mountain Carving project’. Well, no plan could be better then that…but almost as good was good enough!

“Naruto-nichan! You’re back!”
Three oddly dressed kids ran up to the pair.
Naruto knew them as Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon, three young academy students.
“We missed you!”

Sasuke looked at the kids and then back at Naruto.
“Are these friends of yours as well?”
“Not really, just some kids that-“
That was all he managed to get out before being tackled to the ground in a big group hug.
“Yeah, I missed you guys too! Now get off! You’re cramping my style!”
Konohamaru looked confused, clearly not knowing the meaning of that expression.
“What do you mean?”
Sasuke smirked. “Yeah, I was wondering that myself.”
His comment had more of a ‘what style’ type of approach…
Moegi froze in her place, staring at the ‘newcomer’ in amazement, a blush on her tiny face.
“Who are you mister?”
“Yeah, and what are you doing with Naruto-nichan?”
Konohamaru once again ‘innocently’ pointed out as he looked at Sasuke’s arm, still wrapped securely around Naruto’s waist.
The two of them had been walking around like that the whole time.
“Ummmm, this is Sasuke…he’s my fiancé.”
“WHAT?!” The three shouted in unison.
“Naruto-nichan?! You’re going to marry this guy?!”
“Yeah. Sorta…”
Things grew silent for a while, until Konohamaru once again broke the silence.
“He’s a real looker! Nice going leader!”
Naruto blushed like crazy.
“Konohamaru! Don’t talk about Sasuke as if he’s not here!”
Sasuke smirked.
“Then stop doing it yourself, you’re the one setting a bad example. Now if you three could excuse us, we have something important to discuss with Tsunade-sama. I’ll return Naruto to you shortly.”
Naruto grumbled. ‘Like they’re actually going to listen to him.’
Konohamaru and his friends were just as hard to get rid of as a bad odour…
“Right, you two want some time ‘alone’ huh…”
‘See? Leave it to Konohamaru to-‘
“Later Naruto-nichan!”
‘What the-’
“Now can we hurry dobe? If you’re done gaping like a fish that is…”
“How did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Make them go away? You’re great with kids! Glad I’m marrying you!”
“First of all, we’re both male. We can’t have kids. Second, we’re just pretending to get me in here, remember?”
“R-right, must’ve forgotten or something…”
“Moron.”
“Hey!”

Sasuke P.O.V.

This was Tsunade?
She sure as HELL didn’t look anything like a 50 year old granny.
And the size of those-
‘Must. Not. Stare. But it’s really hard to, I mean LOOK at them! Bad Uchiha! You’re here with your fiancé! Show some backbone!’

Fiancé…

Now he had to admit, he didn’t really think it over before blurting it out. But it could serve its purposes later on….like now for example.

“It’s about time you showed up brat. I received your note hours ago.”
Naruto couldn’t take this ‘stain’ on his reputation sitting down of course.
“Heh, you KNOW I did it faster then anyone else could have, old hag.”
Tsunade couldn’t exactly fall behind and smacked him. An ancient ritual of ‘acceptance’ between the two of them.
“Before I was so rudely interrupted… The matter you spoke of will be investigated as soon as possible. Now that business is out of the way…What’s this about you getting engaged?”
“Oh! Right! Granny, meet Sasuke.”
The big….eyes were now pointed in his direction.

“You’re the fiancé I keep hearing about?”
‘Keep hearing? How fast does news travel around here…’
“Yes I am Hokage-sama.”
“Well, at least you’re polite. Sai’s not going to like this…is he.”
The ‘old lady’ smirked. This Sai person, wasn’t he Naruto’s teammate?
“Why would Naruto’s team-mate object to us having a relationship?”
“Simple. Sai’s been after Naruto’s ass ever since graduating from the academy. Your fiancé kept turning him down. One of his reasons was ‘I don’t date the tall, dark and ugly types’ and since the two of you resemble each other enough to be twins…”

Some guy was after Naruto’s ass?
“He’s probably going to be a tad bit resentful towards the two of you.”
“I can handle one jealous team-mate.”
“Sure kid, I believe you.”
That statement would have probably been a lot more credible, hadn’t she broken down with laughter.
“I don’t see how he could pose a threat… The two of us are ‘together’ regardless of his opinion.”
“Glad to hear you’re so spirited about this kid. You’re gonna need it. Especially when Iruka finds out his ‘little girl’ is getting married. I doubt he suspected to become ‘father of the bride’ this soon.”
Iruka…Naruto had definitely mentioned him before…
“You got a last name kid?”
“Uchiha. Uchiha Sasuke.”
“Uchiha you said? Sai is definitely going to be angry now.”
“What does my last name have anything to do with it?”
“I’ll let you figure that one out on your own.”
Tsunade seemed to be scribbling something down on a piece of paper, double-checked the things she wrote down and called in an assistant.
The assistant looked at the piece of paper as if it had gotten up and started serenading.
“Very well, the two of you can get out of here.”
“Hokage-sama. If you don’t mind me asking, what was on the paper?”
“The official announcement of course. When the two of you get married, you’ll be an official citizen of Konoha.”
‘Oh….my…god. It backfired…’
Sasuke looked at Naruto, hoping he would take it well. There was no way he could go home now, his father would murder him. Not that he wouldn’t put up a fight, but the man had several years more experience. That, and Sasuke was born in a time of piece. Sasuke had never been forced to defend against an angry horde of invaders.
Yet another form of experience he lacked. The only thing close to a true battle he had ever experienced had been with the recent shinobi-assaults.
The old bastard would kill him…
Sasuke hadn’t planned on ACTUALLY getting married yet. Who knows, maybe someday, but this sudden? But then again, if marrying Naruto was the answer to all of his problems, he would literally drag the idiot down the isle if necessary.
It didn’t matter if Naruto liked the idea or not. Sasuke was NOT going back.
(AN: 0-0 Talk about eager >.>)
To his surprise however, Naruto didn’t seem all that reluctant. For some reason he even seemed rather ‘happy’ about it…
And if it’s one thing he had learned while being on the road with him, it’s that a ‘happy’ Naruto is something to be careful about…
The endless rants about Ramen and its godliness were still fresh in his mind. He already hated it and he hadn’t even eaten it.
It was practically inhuman to keep going on and on about the same subject, the only things that seemed to stop the idiot during a ‘ramen-rant’ was the prospect of ramen or the lack of air finally catching up…
Like he actually wanted to know about the many ‘different exotic flavours of ramen’.
(AN: Weren’t you the one going on and on about clothes? XD)
“Well, get going you two. You have better things to do then sit around in my office. Go and christen you marriage or something.”
‘Wait a second what?’
“Unless you’re actually planning on using my office. In that case, be my guest, I don’t mind stepping out for a bit. Just clean up when you’re done.”
‘Again WHAT?!’
“You perverted old hag! What do you think we are?! A bunch of teenage hormone driven- Wait a sec…don’t answer that….”
“Let’s just go going dobe.”
“Didn’t I tell you NOT to call me that?”
“Haven’t you figured out that after the first time you told me ‘not to call you that’ and I still did it, that I wasn’t going to listen?”
“Bastard…”
Sasuke seriously wasn’t in the mood to start yet another argument.
Suddenly marriage didn’t seem like such a ‘fool-proof’ idea anymore….
??? P.O.V.
“What exactly do you mean with ‘it’s not him’?”
Deidara was not having a good time. The silky feminine kimono had been discarded, a red and black cloak now in it’s place.
“Very simple my idiotic companion, the jinchuuriki is from Konoha, not Sound.”
Itachi was holding the severed head of the former Sound-nin. Yet another village was filled with the horrid smell of smoke and blood. The two oddly dressed young men didn’t seem bothered by it at all though.
“How was I supposed to know, you didn’t TELL me he was from Konoha! In fact, you barely talk at all! You got a personality disorder or something yeah?”
The Uchiha-glare™ was carried out to deadly perfection. It didn’t seem to work against blond people though. If it was because Deidara was too ignorant or too innocent, the Uchiha didn’t know, nor was he aware his little brother had similar problems with a certain blond back in Konoha…
“If you’re so smart, then where is he, yeah?!”
The smouldering black eyes opened, only to reveal stunning red ones.
“I suggest you shut your mouth, all three of them.”
Itachi pointed at Deidara’s hands. They each contained a rather ‘strange’ opening, which upon closer examination turned out to be mouths.
“Is that a threat Uchiha?”
The blond who had been previously sitting on the Sound-nins mangled corpse, now jumped up, grabbing what seemed to be some sort of clay.
“Hn. You’re even more annoying then Kisame.”
A slightly wet, blue skinned man walked towards the pair, his sneezing alerting them of his presence.
“Don’t talk trash behind my back Itachi-san. Besides, you shouldn’t treat your wife like that.”
The shark-like man grinned maliciously.
“Yeah! You shouldn’t treat your wife- Hey!”
The other two men laughed, or rather the blue one known as Kisame laughed. Itachi smirked and let out a sound that indicated amusement.
After all, an Akatsuki member did not laugh. Well, except for Kisame…and Zetsu.
And DAMN IT he was doing that thing again! Even with his family dead he was still talking that way. And he was pretty damn sure they were all dead, after all, he killed them himself. All of them except-
“The blond.”
Kisame looked surprised.
“What blond? Mister hand job extraordinaire over there?”
“You wish fish-boy, you’re the one taking ‘blue balls’ to a new level, yeah!”
“No. The one my otouto had with him.”
“Oh, you mean the cute one with the whiskers?”
The former pet-fish, now a full-grown male, smacked himself in the face.
“Well duh. Talk about obvious.”
Deidara, still miffed about the ‘humorous’ comments he received, showed a bit of his explosive personality as he tossed the clay onto the corpse he had been sitting on.
As it exploded, blood and guts were send flying.
“Real nice Deidara.”
Kisame said as he removed something from his still drying cloak.
“This is YOUR fault Uchiha!”
“How is this Itachi-sans fault? He is the one that pointed it out.”
“Because it’s his jinchuuriki and he should have pointed it out sooner! So yeah it’s his fault!”
Itachi had enough.
The sharingan wheels started to spin, knocking Deidara out like a light. He fell to the ground mumbling random stuff about jerks, fishes and stupid dresses.
Kisame caught his falling body before it hit the ground, he looked like he would have rather just let him drop though.
“We could just use paint, cut off his hair and make him wear orange. No one would be able to tell the difference. He has it coming. Besides, he didn’t have to pretend to be a fish and freeze his ass of in a pond while pretending to be someone’s pet-fish. Lucky I can breath under water…”
The sharingan faded.
When Itachi wanted to join Akatsuki, Kisame had come with him to his home and pretend to be his fish. This way it would be easy for him to assist in getting away from the rather twisted family the boy had grown up in. No wonder he became a criminal…
Their leader had asked for a repeated performance on account of the…sensitivity of the subject. So upon arriving, Kisame dropped the simple genjutsu he had placed on the pond and took the illusionary fish’ place.
Speaking of their leader, it was probably best not to mention this little misunderstanding to him. Deidara seemed like an angel compared to that guy if it came to their ability to ‘over-react’.
If Deidara was a stick of dynamite, their leader was a factory filled with landmines…with a big sign at the front stating ‘tread cautiously’.
“So now what?”
Itachi looked in Kisame’s direction.
“The same…”
(AN:…..thing we do every night, try to take over the WORLD! X3)
“You mean follow their trail only to reach another dead-end?”
“Just the following part will do Kisame.”
Kisame laughed. His partner was….interesting to say the least.
“Just remind me never to take another mission with this idiot EVER again.”
Kisame huffed. (AN: And puffed >.>)
“I don’t see why I couldn’t be your partner from the start Itachi-san.”
Itachi smirked and made the not-laughter-yet-still-amusement-sound.
“Because you’re too ugly. Do you really think my parents would allow me to marry an obviously cross-dressing blue skinned man that so happens to look like my pet fish?”
“You’re never going to let me forget this are you…Besides, there’s nothing a good genjutsu can’t fix.”
“There are wards around the village that prevent people from using genjutsu. Only those with huge amounts of chakra or superior chakra-control, can use genjutsu within this village.”
“Which means you could have used genjutsu Itachi-san.”
“Using genjutsu for two days straight?”
“Right…your energy levels…I still don’t understand how you could have mixed up this guy with your jinchuuriki though. You NEVER make mistakes.”
“I sensed a huge amount of chakra on the night of the celebration. Someone had been suppressing it the whole time. Since this guy was the ‘only’ shinobi in the area, most people with common sense would make the assumption that man would be the one…
Hence why I’ve never believed in common sense.”
(AN: Now there’s an understatement if I ever heard one 0-0)
“Heh. I still wouldn’t have believed ‘Uchiha Itachi’ messed up, if I hadn’t been there myself.”
“Enough talking, we need to hurry. It will be a lot harder to infiltrate Konoha then some common village.”
“You’re right, as usual.”
Kisame lifted the blond onto his shoulder and started walking.
Itachi turned towards a burning house. There, on the floor near the open sliding doors, where the remains of what had once been his parents.
His foolish little brother would be joining them soon.
It simply would not do for something as precious as a jinchuuriki to be left in the care of a whimpering child. The whittles boy was weak and ignorant.
It wouldn’t take much to take the jinchuuriki from him though. The blond shinobi would be in Akatsuki’s possession soon enough.
Naruto P.O.V.
‘I still can’t believe me and Sasuke are going to get married.’
Naruto grabbed his keys and started to unlock the door to his house, while taking sneak-peaks at Sasuke.
‘Iruka-sensei is going to kill me…’
The door opened, revealing a rather modest apartment.
“Well, this is it. It’s nothing much, but it’s home.”
Naruto grinned while scratching his head.
He hadn’t really planned on getting married before he became a Hokage. His apartment wasn’t exactly a place he wanted to ‘take someone home’ to.
The only ones that came over every once in a while were Iruka-sensei, Sai and Sasame.
The latter two had been there once or twice, but always left rather quickly.
“It’s…homey.”
“Homey? I guess you could call it that…Sorry it’s not as fancy as your parents place though.”
“It’s fine. I never liked that house much to begin with.”
“Eheheh…yeah. They say it’s the people that make for a home…sorry shouldn’t have said that.”
“I don’t mind, it’s the truth. Would you show me around?”
‘Changing the subject huh…Can’t blame you.’
“Alright! Follow me!”
Naruto P.O.V.
“And this is the bedroom! Like I said, the place isn’t that big…”
‘Wait a sec… If the two of us get married, won’t we be sleeping in the same-‘
Naruto blushed and attempted to close the door. It was best to avoid embarrassing situations while you were ahead.
Sasuke however had other ideas in mind…
(AN: I think we ALL have other ideas in our minds >3)
“That thing called a ‘bed’ is something you sleep on?”
“Oh right. You’re used to futon’s aren’t you.”
Naruto scratched his head.
“Yeah we sleep on that. That old pervy guy Jira- something had them too. You really never seen one before?”
“No. I didn’t exactly visit Jiraiya when it wasn’t necessary. Personally I wouldn’t be caught dead in his bedroom…”
“Yeah, I can imagine that…”
The blond looked out of the bedroom-window. The sun was already setting.
“It’s actually a lot later then I thought. How about dinner and a shower and then going to bed? I’ll give you a full tour of Konoha tomorrow!”
“Whatever dobe”
“Would you stop calling me that?”
“No.”
“Jerk…let’s just eat.”
If this was Sasuke’s idea of a pet name, he really didn’t like it…
‘Perhaps I should get one for him too…like jackass….let’s see how HE likes it.’
With renewed determination Naruto strided off to the kitchen and checked the cupboards.
‘I need to go shopping tomorrow…’
“Well, I hope you like ramen. I don’t have anything else at the moment since I just got home and all…”
“It’s alright. I didn’t expect someone like you to be very skilled with kitchen utensils to begin with.´
“HEY! I know how to cook!”
“I never said anything about you not being able to cook, I said you’re probably no good at it.”
“And we’re supposed to get married? All we ever do is argue!”
“Isn’t that the whole point of getting married? Well that and having brats. And since I don’t see anything like that happening any day soon, we might as well have fights. It’s only natural.”
Naruto stared and stared.
“You have one depressing look on life you know that?”
Naruto grabbed the instant-ramen-cups and put some water in the boiler.
The two sat down in silence, determined not to look at each other.
The sound of a high-pitched whistle signalled the water was ready.
Naruto poured it into the cups, grabbed two pairs of chopsticks and sat back down.
“Itadakimasu!”
He noticed Sasuke wasn’t making a move to pick up his chop sticks-though.
“What? No good?”
“How is this stuff supposed to be food? It’s hot water in a cup with…stuff.”
This time it was Naruto who almost suffered a fatal heart attack.
“You did NOT just insult ramen.”
“I didn’t. I just find it hard to believe you’re so obsessed about this stuff”
This was going to be one long dinner…
Sasuke P.O.V.
“The shower is over here…”
Naruto pointed towards a door located in the bedroom.
“I trust you’ve seen a shower before?”
‘Like I’m actually going to give you a change to start yet another rant that will most likely involve ramen…’
“Hn. Whatever.”
“And a ‘whatever’ to you too, you can leave your clothes on the bed, I’ll clean them later. There’s towels and stuff in the closet over there.”
The door closed, now to find out what a shower was exactly…
It couldn’t be that different from the things he was used to back home. A bed was like a futon on legs…right?
Sasuke cautiously opened the door.
True, it was slightly different…
As in no bath….at all.
Just two water taps, only bigger then the smaller ones they used to tap water from to rinse themselves off before they stepped into the bath. It seemed simple enough.
He didn’t exactly get it why there were two of them.
Perhaps it was made for two people?
The brunet closed the bathroom door and walked towards the bed.
He peeled of his sweat-soaked shirt and tossed it on the bed.
As he fumbled with the buttons on his pants, he couldn’t help but feel some sort of strange sense of pending doom and couldn’t shake off the horrible feeling of being watched…
It was probably nothing though, just the stressful conditions he had been living in for the past 5 days. Or should he say 7? Just meeting Naruto seemed stressful enough as it is.
How in the world was he going to live with the guy for the rest of his life?
He sighed. A hot shower would probably ease him up a bit.
??? P.O.V.
“You can’t be serious! Someone who looks just like Sai?”
“Yeah really! He was walking with that boy!”
“Awww, how come it’s always him that gets a lucky break! He always manages to get the good ones to chase after his-“
“It’s not that dear. You know the old saying. ‘All the good ones are either taken, gay or both.’ For some odd reason they’re mostly gay in this town…”
Indeed, the whole village of konoha was buzzing with the latest gossip.
From young women to elderly ladies, they all joined in, sharing their side of the story.
As if gossip wasn’t dangerous enough, it became lethal when reaching obsessive stalker ears.
And it so happened a young stalker by the name of Yamakana Ino walked around the corner she had been ‘minding her own business’ in with a strange smile on her face.
The pale blond hair seemed to flow behind her as she walked. As if the creepy hair wasn’t enough, the scary vision was soon replaced by an unsightly shade of pink.
(AN: Can someone tell I don’t like them? *looks around* Anyone?)
These two were the most dangerous stalkers around.
The queen bitches.
Heck, the leader of stalkers in the entire fire country.
(AN: Anyone yet? XD)
The pink thing seemed to be almost cackling. It was known as Haruno Sakura.
Just the mere mentioning of these two names brought fear into the hearts of bishounen all over Konoha and beyond. Their latest obsession had been Sai, one of Naruto’s teammates.
The two were forced to give up when Sai had once and for all proven to the world he was gay.
For on a party about two years ago, Sai had made the death-defying move to pay some random guy to ‘accidentally’ push Naruto into him.
The results had been….interesting to say the least. The ‘fake-kiss-scenario’ was played out to absolute perfection. Sai had even managed to get some tongue in according to some lucky girls who had been sitting right beside the two boys when ‘fate struck’.
The scene that followed was a little more unexpected though, Sai went a tad bit too far and slipped a hand down a certain blonds pants, pulled back from the kiss and uttered the ill-fated words ‘Well I’ll be damned you DO have one!’
Said words caused Naruto to ‘awaken’ from his initial shock and react with extreme viciousness. A fist to one of Sai’s pretty dark eyes had been the result…
That and several weeks of wearing an eye patch and nearly getting addicted to the painkillers he was forced to take.
Nowadays Naruto tried to stay away from Sai as much as he could. Which is hard when you were put on the same team. Just one mentioning of ‘the word’ had the blond climbing trees out of fear for weeks, the word ‘Penis’ was as much of a taboo for Naruto as the word ‘fat’ was to their former class-mate and fellow shinobi Chouji…
His screams of ‘Stay away from me you freak!’ never ended though.
If Sai had ever had a change with Naruto, no matter how slim, he had ruined it altogether.
Sai was convinced their ‘relationship would survive any obstacle’ though and never gave up.
The girls were left with no other choice then to give up…

But to lose yet another good looking guy to that idiot? That was just plain cruel…
So, with plans for a fan club already forming within their twisted hormonal fangirl minds.
A couple of blocks ahead a certain young man having the sneezing fit of a lifetime.
He hadn’t suffered one this big since two years ago. Not that he had the time to dwell on the matter. Sai had heard a rather disturbing rumour. A VERY disturbing one.
His territory was being invaded by a ‘new guy in town’. Not that he cared much.
He had never been one to oppose to sharing. Unless it came to one thing….Uzumaki Naruto, dickless wonder extraordinaire. Or rather not so dickless.
He had confirmed that much at least, true it had almost cost him an eye, but it was a price well worth it. Naruto was so innocent and Sai had been the first to touch him like that. Well, other then Naruto of course…
‘Hmmm, Naruto touching himself…’
Sai smiled and walked over to his ‘Naruto spotting perch’.
After the threat of Hyuuga Neji, he could withstand ANY foe he came across.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
The sight that greeted the gathering masses, all just ‘randomly passing by’ on top of the roof of the building looking over Naruto’s bedroom, was more then they could have ever imagined.
A plain blue shirt was pulled off revealing a well-toned chest.
Just the simple flick of a wrist, used to toss the shirt on the bed, told a tale of almost royalty like grace. The entire mass of drooling peeping toms seemed to be wishing the window was just a few inches lower so that they could see the ‘prize’ that was revealed when this gorgeous specimen removed the remainder of his clothes.
People were randomly dropping down from the roof like flies…
Sasuke P.O.V.
‘Ok, so this handle shouldn’t be touched. Blue means cold. VERY cold.’
Figuring out how to use the water had been easy enough, picking the correct products to get clean wasn’t.
He just hoped his hair didn’t end up the way Naruto’s hair did. As if the spikes at the back of his head weren’t enough. Imagine the bangs sticking up at the front…
Not that the fluffy sunflower look wasn’t adorable on Naruto, he just didn’t feel like looking ridiculous.
(AN: Note! Basic pairing rule nr. 1! Seme’s look emo, Uke’s look cute! XD)
How was he going to be taken seriously when the mere sight of him made people laugh their asses off.
Oh well, at least the ‘feeling of being watched’ had lessened.
For some reason he wouldn’t put it passed Naruto to spy on him just to get even.
Most likely for spying on him when they first met. Not that he had really spied on the blond.
The results had been pretty nice though…that was one image that wouldn’t leave his memory any day soon. Or his fantasies for that matter…
(AN: I couldn’t resist a pervy Sasuke…I am ashamed -_-)
It was almost enough for the hormones to escape, which he had been bottling up since the day he had first hand discovered the alternative meaning to the word ‘wood’.
(AN: Hand. Wood. Get it? I’ll go shut up now >.>)
Said meaning decided to rise up (AN: NYAHAHAHA! Rise XD I’m on a roll!) from his thoughts. Naruto really was something else. It was a pity no one else seemed to realize how great the blond was. Or lucky, depending on how you looked at it.
The rather fascinating images quickly turned into full-blown raunchy ‘you know what’ movies in that special little way only the adolescent male mind could.
(AN: And the fangirls! Don’t forget he fangirls!)
The hand that had been rubbing what Sasuke believed to be shampoo into his raven locks, slowly slid down and caressed the smooth, creamy thighs below. He imagined it was Naruto’s.

A soft gentle moan escaped his lips. The ones he had been pressing together so tightly, they were turning into a completely different colour.

“Nah…ru…to…”

God he loved the way that name sounded, hell, he loved the stupid grin and the damned complaining about ‘unfairness’ or people – mainly Sasuke – being mean.

Sasuke’s hand moved closer to it’s goal. He was almost painfully erect now. The brunet placed a hand on the wall as if to keep from slipping out of reality altogether.
The soft moaning turned into panting as his fingers made contact with his aching member…

His eyes opening, without even realising he had closed them in the first place.

“Nah-Ah! Damn!”

Sasuke’s ‘play-time’ with Sasuke jr. came to a climax soon enough….in form of the log forgotten shampoo getting into his eyes.

(AN: That’s for not admitting your feelings for Naruto yet and staying away for so long!….And looking like a pirate! X3)

As if that predicament wasn’t enough, a knock on the door startled him so much he slipped, hitting his tailbone on the cold, merciless ground of doom below in the process.

“Fuck!”

Another knock, this one sounding a lot more urgent then the previous one.

“Sasuke! Are you alright in there? Answer me?!”
“I’m fine!”
“Like hell you are! You sound like you’re in pain and you were calling for me! I’m coming in!”

‘Called his name?…Oh god he heard…’
The little realisation caused him to completely forget his current ‘condition’.
Had he been thinking straight at the time (AN: Which is impossible for Sasuke >.>) he would have run to the bathroom door and locked it, or at least tried to convince Naruto not to come in…

It was far too late though. Naruto’s ‘caring’ nature was stronger then any door or glare, even the Uchiha patented ones.

The glare he received in return after his ‘little secret’ was discovered would have outmatched it easily enough. Heck, it made the ‘secret’ go away…Sasuke just hoped it didn’t do any permanent damage…

“I can explain!”
“You don’t have to! You PERVERT!”

The door slammed shut. For someone who was usually thicker then 10 feet of concrete walls, he managed to figure out this situation easily enough. Uchiha Sasuke would later wonder if this was because the ‘situation looked familiar to Naruto’ and question his ‘I’m not a pervert’ holiness, but again, that was later.

Right now Sasuke, having been caught ‘pants down’ so to speak, wasn’t particularly thinking before acting and rushed after Naruto after managing to get up from the slippery floor.

“Naruto! It’s not what you think!”
“Like HELL it isn’t! And what do you think you’re doing now?!”
“I’m trying to talk to you! What does it look like I’m doing!”
“You don’t expect me to answer that do you?!”
“Stop running!”
“Then stop chasing me like that!!!”
“I will, once you stop running!!!”
“Like HELL I will!”

The door to Naruto’s apartment opened slowly and two figures cautiously made their way to the living room….

TBC Soon!