Savin' Me

Hi! I know it’s not a lot, but I’m still trying to get back into work routine, and so much has changed at work that I’m still finding my way. Still now happy there though. Anyway. I started this part over and over, not liking anything I did until this. I knew it was going to be hard to write, still… But here it is only three pages yes, but enough to keep my loyal readers something. Writing this and my DBZ story are challenging to do at the same time and I’m proud of both. I have a bit more confidence now that I did before. So hopefully things will settle into a routine. Naruto has gone into repeats here and we didn’t even finish the third series, I was most disappointed. I don’t know why they are stretching it out so much. And the Manga is frustrating me coz I want to know what happening where Kakashi is… (Smacks head) So I hope you like this little piece, more to come!!! Oh and I restarted my Livejournal, it’s not much yet, but I had to give up my Fyrbyrd one. This time it is not related to my phoenix, instead I chose something of Naruto’s. Of the amphibious type! Hopefully those I am trying to avoid seeing it will never catch on…

Savin’ Me
By Fyrbyrd

Iruka looked in through the small window at the man that he had come to love and felt dismayed. This was not what he wanted when he vowed to get him free. To have him locked up in a straightjacket. Tsunade came up behind him.

“I’m sorry Iruka, I know you don’t want him locked up, but there is little else we can do. The man is not stable enough to be cared for anywhere else. This unusual ability to call up his chakra without any hand signs makes him even more dangerous, he has to be in a controlled environment to keep the chakra under constant control,” Tsunade turned to look at him. “I know you came to care for him very deeply over the time you found him. But he doesn’t know who you are, or any of us.” She sighed, “Naruto has requested to go and find that farmer. I really don’t want him to go on his own. Why don’t you go with him? Kakashi will get the best of care, you know that.”

“No, I want to be here. I know that I can reach him. He changed while I was in the brothel, he knew that I was caring for him, I can’t let go of that. Please, please let me try. I don’t want Naruto to go on his own but I must stay here.”

“What do you suggest then?”

“Send him out with… Kiba is free, let them go together.”

“Fine, I will do that… There is some good news. I will be able to fix Kakashi’s neck and throat. There will be scars and he won’t be able to shout like you can,” she grinned at his slight blush, “But he will be able to speak in the future. However, I am delaying doing anything until he is a lot better. He wakes up screaming a lot. Of course there’s no sound at the moment, but if I cured him now it would not be good for his throat. Be assured that no one else will know he is back other than those who went on the mission to bring him home.”

Iruka looked through the window. “I want to speak to Naruto before he goes, then I will be back. I can reach him, I know I can.”

Tsunade also looked through the window; Kakashi never looked so helpless or more dangerous before.

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Naruto was getting ready to leave. He had been told that Kiba would be joining him; he knew Tsunade wanted to try and get Iruka to go with him, but it looked like he was not going to leave Kakashi. There was a knock at his door; he opened it to find Iruka there.

“Hey Naruto, getting ready to go?”

“Yeah, Kiba’s going with me.”

“I know.” Iruka looked away and Naruto signaled him to come inside and sit at his table. “I know you and Tsunade want me to go with you, but I just can’t leave him like he is.”

Naruto nodded, “I understand. If anyone can reach him, I bet it would be you. I will find out what happened with that farmer and if I can find anything else I will search for it… Iruka, I love him too.” Iruka looked him in the eyes. “The same way that I love you. You are both precious to me.”

Iruka lifted his hand and touched Naruto’s face, “And you are precious to us. He’ll come back to us. I know he will. I won’t give up on him. I can’t give up on him. He needs someone to care for him. To wait while he heals. Six years of his life have been taken from him. Six years of cruel treatment while we went on with our peaceful lives…” He lowered his face and looked down at his hands sitting on the table.

Naruto put his hand over Iruka’s, “We didn’t know. We still don’t know what happened to him to make him lose his memory. He’s home now. He’s free from that cruelty. I’m going to look for some answers to the questions we have.” He patted the man’s hands. “We both know that the past is the past. We have to live for now and the future.” He let go and sat back. “When I slept with Kakashi at the brothel, you told me I did what I had to do. I’d never done it with a man before, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to. I never gave up on the one I wanted, and maybe I can’t be with him yet, but I am waiting for my chance… I gotta go, see you when I get back.”

Naruto got up and left quickly leaving Iruka turning to watch him go a little surprised, then he smiled and got up, locking up behind him.

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The door opened and someone came in. He was sitting against the wall, as curled as he could in the restricting jacket, his head bowed.

“Kashi. Kashi can you hear me? It’s Iruka.” He moved very slowly, the man was easily disturbed and threw himself about trying to attack or escape, even though he was severely restricted in his movements. But Iruka hoped that he would be remembered. Hoped that Kakashi had not have gone so deep into the pain and anger that had been inflicted on him, that he could recognize the one person that had shown him kindness. He got down on his knees and crawled closer, trying to show that he was no danger, that he had not come to hurt.

The silver head rose slightly and Iruka stopped. The single grey eye glared at him.

“Kashi, it’s me, you remember me? I won’t hurt you.”

Still he received the hard stare, he sat back and folded his arms around his legs, trying to look less threatening. The whole point of his going in that day was to get Kakashi to trust him.

Iruka stayed quiet as he sat there, he did not look at Kakashi, just at the floor. Yet the stare remained for some time. Iruka was beginning the get uncomfortable so he slowly untangled himself, noticing that Kakashi tensed as he did so, and he slowly moved back to the door. He stood and looked back inside to see Kakashi lean back against the wall and lower his head

“Well, that went better than I expected,” said Tsunade.

“He was so tense though, he would not relax.”

“I saw. Look, I don’t really want to do this, but it’s better than having to use force, which we know gets us nowhere, but I am not going to send people in to force feed him. Later I want you to take his food in, if he relaxes, he might let you close enough to feed him, if not he will have to go without.”

“For how long?”

“Not too long, don’t worry Iruka. I do not want him facing any more cruelty than he already has. But he must learn to trust again. If after a few days we are unsuccessful we’ll sedate him and hook him up to feed him.”

He sighed. She put a hand on his shoulder. “This is not going to be easy Iruka. You must realize this now if we are to get anywhere.”

He nodded, and he knew he was bound to be frustrated by it all. He would have to be careful not to let Kakashi see that frustration and think it was his fault. If he couldn’t reach Kakashi the man might have to remain as he was, and that was one thing that Iruka did not want. That would be swapping one prison for another.

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As planned Iruka returned later and was given a container of warm food to take in with him. He did exactly the same as he had before, only making sure the container could plainly be seen.

“Hey Kashi. It’s me again. I have some food for you. Are you hungry?”

The head had lifted and the eye was once more glaring at him. The other eye had been covered. Iruka could feel that he was tensed, so he sat quiet for a little. Then he opened the lid of the container, letting the smell of the food fill the small padded room. He saw Kakashi’s nose take it in and a little of his tightness loosened.

“Don’t you want some Kashi? It smells so good,” he sniffed at it himself. “I know I’m hungry.” He took out a set of chopsticks and ate a little of the food. “Mmmm, mmm, that is good. Sure you don’t want any?”

Kakashi lifted his head and Iruka saw him lick his lips. So he took another mouthful, making sounds of enjoyment. He knew he was being watched in a more curious way, but he did not turn his eyes to see. He ate a few more mouthfuls, then he looked at Kakashi, softening his face as much as he could, looking as pleasant as possible. He lifted the container, “Want some Kashi?”

The head turned a little crossly, so Iruka ate some more until he got back the other man’s interest. “Mmm, this is very good.” Knowing he was being watched he looked again. “I’ll share it with you.” He lifted the container again. “Okay Kashi?” He moved a tiny bit closer.

Kakashi tensed up, his eye went flat. So Iruka stopped and ate a little more, he was only taking small mouthfuls as he wanted to get Kakashi to eat.

Again when Kakashi relaxed, he looked at him, “You must be hungry, share with me?” He offered again. Kakashi’s eye was on the container, so Iruka moved again. Kakashi flinched, but apart from that he did not look angry. Iruka got as close as he could before Kakashi pulled back, he was within a long reach, so that was something. He put the sticks into the food and lifted out some. He slowly moved them towards Kakashi’s mouth. Twice he had to stop, because the man flinched back. He stopped a final time and stilled and watched with the greatest of relief when Kakashi leaned forward and opened his mouth, taking the food. He chewed very slowly, not taking his eye from Iruka, who slowly pulled his arm back to scoop up some more food and slowly reach back again.

It took a little time, but he got him to take the food. It was not a lot, and he flinched back not to move forward again and his eye showed his dislike of Iruka being so close. So Iruka pulled back. “That’s okay. It was good to have something, huh? I’ll bring some more later. Okay Kashi? I’ll bring some more later.”

Iruka moved away slowly and backed out of the room. He gave a huge sigh once he was out. “I never thought he’d take any for a long time there.”

Tsunade had been watching and she smiled, “But he did. Good idea eating yourself Iruka. I’ll leave him to you. I check on him tomorrow. It’s a good sign.”

He nodded smiling himself. It was a start.

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tbc