No Revenge Is As Complete As Forgiveness

A/N: Finally this chapter is done. I hope you like it.



Additional disclaimer: Naruto quotes a thought from "Dune Messiah" by Frank Herbert - one of the best, perhaps the best, sci-fi novel series. I highly reccomend it.



CHAPTER 12







“I will absolutely not sign this piece of garbage!” Nagato exclaimed and threw away the sheets of the contract. They fluttered around Kakashi and finally settled on the floor around him like the feathers of a shot bird. The Jounin stared at him furiously, his hands curling into fists.



“Yes, Nagato, you will sign it, if you want to ensure the safety of your village.” He told him patiently, as if explaining obvious things to a child. It seemed to have an opposite effect on the older man – his face turned an ugly maroon colour, splotches of fury appearing on his pale cheeks.



“How dare you! This is a complete ripoff! I will not sign something that will affect negatively the lives of my entire population!”



“Nagato…”



“No! If it were you in my place, would you sign?” he asked, suddenly deflating, face filling with sadness. He looked young and lost and desperate, and for a moment Kakashi was ready to forget that this was a grown man, older than him even, and not an anxious genin on his first real mission.



Ignoring the sudden, unexplained urge to try and comfort him, he crouched on the ground and began to gather the sheets of paper.



They had been going over some of the text of the contract before the council meeting tomorrow, Kakashi patiently explaining the glyphs Nagato couldn’t understand, but unfortunately, it wasn’t going well. The council had ridiculous demands, that much Kakashi admitted before himself, even if he didn’t say out loud, and they didn’t seem to be willing to make compromises, despite Naruto’s repeated attempts to pour some sense into their heads. It was to be expected, he thought sadly, that they would try to bankrupt Ame. After all, both the fear of Nagato’s power and Naruto’s orders stopped them from mounting a military attack that would raze the place with the ground, so this was another tactic to get back at their enemy. He felt sad, disappointed and disillusioned. Despite Naruto’s best efforts, change was coming slowly, too slowly. Nagato was right to be angry, but there was nothing he could do but press him further.



“If you don’t sign” he began, once he got back to his chair and began putting the sheets in order “The council will begin pressing Naruto for a military attack. They know he beat you once in a duel, they’ll think he can do it again.”



“So either way, we’ll be destroyed.” Nagato said softly and leaned forward, burying his face in his folded desk on the desk.



Kakashi paused and stared at the dejected figure, unsure what to say. He wasn’t good at comforting people. His social skills were minimal at best, he was aware of that. That was the reason why he refused the Hokage position when it was offered to him. Naruto was so much more suitable – despite the blunt way he often talked to people, he almost always managed to endear himself even to his greatest of critics. It made Kakashi both proud and a little envious at the same time.



“I might as well go back to Ame now.” Nagato said softly, face still buried in his arms. “Either way, the outcome would be disastrous.”



Tentatively, Kakashi reached and put his hand on his shoulder, feeling the muscles tense immediately under his touch. The man looked up sharply and turned to meet his eye in surprise – apparently he hadn’t been expecting the touch. Kakashi was about to pull his hand away when the man gave him a sad little smile and reached to squeeze it.



“I am grateful for your help though. Both yours and Naruto’s. You have put great trust in me.”



Kakashi slowly nodded and smiled back under his mask.



“I will speak with Naruto, when he returns. See if he can press the council to back off the most outrageous of the demands.” He tried and watched Nagato’s face light up.



“You would?”



Kakashi nodded.



“We will both do our best to try and convince them. Don’t get your hopes up though. They are a bunch of conservative old coots who despise the fact that Naruto has managed to win over the population and the majority of the Ninja, especially the new generation Jounin. They want to exercise as much of their power – that is, as much of the power they have left, and that, unfortunately, includes trading contracts. That was set up to make sure that the Hokage, whoever that might be, wouldn’t try to create a monopoly.” He made a sour face. “And now they’re abusing their power.”



“Thank you.” Nagato said simply. “For doing all of this. I know how much you dislike me.”



Kakashi sighed and went back to putting the papers in order.



“I don’t dislike you, Nagato. I distrust you. I know that whatever you did, you did it with good intentions.”



“Good intentions pave the road to Hell.” Nagato quoted bitterly and Kakashi couldn’t help but laugh.



“I couldn’t say it better. I’ve done my share of mistakes too, you know.”



“You’re speaking of Sasuke-kun?”



He nodded.



“One of my biggest failures. I wasn’t a good enough mentor for him. I couldn’t find a way to soothe his pain. The boy clearly needed a father figure, it was so obvious, but I couldn’t get over my own issues in order to help him. I couldn’t become what Minato-sama was to me.”



He stared down at the documents, fingers instinctively smoothing over creases. A pale hand carefully covered his.



“For what it’s worth, I don’t think that whatever you said or did would’ve changed Sasuke-kun’s mind. Some wounds ran too deep to heal without closure. I think both you and I have been through enough to be aware of that.”



Kakashi thought of all those he had lost during the course of his life – his parents, Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei, innumerable friends, Sasuke… Yes, he knew the nature of loss too intimately for comfort. He had spoken to Sasuke about letting go of his pain and his hate, and yet after he spoke to him he went to visit the Memorial. How could he try and teach the boy something which he himself failed at?



The hand over his was warm and surprisingly smooth for a Nin’s. It felt oddly comforting.



“Only when you forgive yourself you can begin to heal.” Nagato told him quietly. “Naruto taught me that.”



He nodded. Of course. Naruto touched everyone in whose life he entered. He was like the sun – bright and warm, with enough love to give the whole world. Sometimes he wondered what could he possibly see in him – he was more than fifteen years his senior, jaded and world-weary and damaged in so many ways. He was sure that if Sasuke hadn’t left back then, the two of them would have hooked up sooner or later when they grew old enough for it, and perhaps that would have been better for Naruto – to have a partner his age. A wave of irrational fear gripped his heart when he thought about where Naruto had gone that afternoon while he and Nagato poured over the documents.



“What’s wrong?” Nagato peered at him, apparently sensing the change in his mood. Perceptive. Few people were capable of reading him, let alone when he wore his mask. The fact that Nagato managed to do so with such ease unnerved him somewhat. It would be good to remember that even if he no longer possessed the majority of his powers, he was still a very capable and intelligent Nin. In fact, Kakashi thought with amusement, now that he was injured, figuratively speaking, and backed against a wall, he was at his most dangerous.



“Nothing.” He answered. “I was thinking about Naruto. He went to visit Sasuke today. They haven’t spoken since the brothers arrived in Konoha and he thought it was high time that he did this.”



Nagato nodded his assent.



“I am hoping that I’d be allowed to see them some time soon.”



“You want to meet with them?”



“Of course. They were under my care, after all. Kakashi-san, I feel responsible for all those who were under my command.”



“Oh. I’ll speak with Naruto about it, when he returns.”



Naruto trudged through the dusty, abandoned streets of the Uchiha district, wishing he had put on his Hokage uniform, and the hat, most of all. The sun was bright and hot, shining in his eyes with almost blinding intensity. Konoha had mild winter and hot, often humid summer, and the heat was getting even to him, who usually possessed such boundless energy. He wondered if things would go well enough with Sasuke for the other man to offer him something fresh to drink at some point. That, or he’d give him the silent treatment and the cold shoulder. He doubted that Sasuke would try to start an actual fight, but he couldn’t count on him to be civil.



Finally, he reached the house Kakashi had described and looked at it with curiosity – relatively small, single-storey building, surrounded by a spacious garden that showed signs of recent attempts to put it in order. He was a little surprised that Sasuke had made an effort to put a garden in order, especially considering his situation. He had thought that he’d let the place be as it was – run down and dusty – in a show of stubborn pride. He had forgotten that Sasuke, unlike himself, was a neat freak – the overgrown garden must’ve annoyed him to no end.



Smiling to himself he walked down the cobbled lane to the front door and knocked. No answer. He could clearly feel Sasuke’s presence inside the house, and the surveillance jutsu told him that the young man was quite alright, physically speaking. He knocked again, calling onto the patience he learned while dealing with the Council. Still no answer.



After the third knock, he decided that Sasuke was avoiding him on purpose. He knew that he was a lone in the house, and he didn’t need the surveillance jutsu to tell him so – even if it was Saturday, Itachi would’ve had to go to the Academy, because there was some sort of an sports’ event there today, and his services were needed.



Naruto had never taken no for an answer for Sasuke. He had chased him to the end of the world and back. A closed door and haughty attitude weren’t going to deter him now. He purposefully went back down the cobbled alley and traipsed through the garden around the house until he saw an open window. Curiously, he stuck his head through it and looked inside, realizing that he was seeing a small, cosy kitchen with flowery tapestries and lace curtains – entirely unfitting Sasuke’s personality. His gaze ran over the pristine counters and the bubbling pot over the stove – his former teammate appeared to be cooking something. He heard a metallic clang and looked down to see a pair of legs dressed in loose green pants reaching their calves sticking out from under the kitchen sink. Sasuke was crouching down on the wooden floor, his firm bottom sticking up in the air, his upper body hidden from view. A hand appeared and grabbed one of the wrenches lying in disarray around his legs, then disappeared again.



Naruto stared, unsure how to approach him, and trying to get used to the sight of such domesticity – something he had never associated Sasuke with.



“Naruto!” Sasuke snapped sharply, his voice strangely hollow and echoing from under the metal sink. “How long do you intend to stand out there and watch me like the resident pervert? I thought that was Kakashi’s job?”



He blinked. Of course Sasuke knew all along he was there. He must’ve hoped that Naruto would go away. Well, fat chance that happening.



“Well, I…”



But he couldn’t finish, because suddenly there was a loud curse from below and a jet of water sprayed across the kitchen, immediately soaking the floor. Sasuke cursed loudly and copiously again and grabbed another wrench.



No longer hesitating, Naruto climbed over through the window and quickly crouched next to Sasuke, who turned to look at him with annoyed dark eyes, his wet hair sticking his forehead. He pointed to the wrench around a piece of tubing.



“Hold there. Keep it tight until I shut the valve.”



He obeyed without a word, deciding that arguing over faulty house plumbing wasn’t worth the effort – thankfully, another thing he had learned from dealing with the Council was picking his battles.



When the water finally stopped leaking, they sat on the floor, soaked and sweaty from the effort of cramming both of themselves in the cramped space under the sink.



Sasuke surveyed the mess on the floor with a distasteful look.



“I have to clean this up or Bishamon will give me hell when he returns.” He muttered.



“Bishamon? The summon?”



“No, Naruto, my own personal fairy godmother! Of course, the summon.”



Naruto watched him get up and grab a towel then crouch back down and begin to soak up the puddle.



“Well, I am glad to see that you haven’t changed that much.” Naruto told him after a short silence. “You’re the same caustic bastard as before.”



Sasule glowered at him but said nothing, busy cleaning up the floor. Naruto grabbed another towel hung on the back of a chair next to the kitchen table and crouched down next to him, helping without asking for permission.



“I don’t need help, Naruto.” Sasuke snapped sharply.



“Yes, you keep saying that.” The blonde muttered serenely. “But you should know me well enough by now to know better.”



“Better than what, exactly? You not caring what I want? It’s nothing new.”



That gave him a pause.



“You’re still angry.” Naruto stated calmly. “Very well. I’ll go. It was a mistake coming here to begin with.”



He made to get up but Sasuke grabbed his sleeve.



“No. No, I am not angry. Not anymore. Don’t go.” He paused, looking strained, as if it took a great effort to say what he planned to say next. “Please.” He finished finally. “I’m sorry.”



Slowly, hesitantly, he returned to his position on the floor and grabbed the towel again. Sasuke brought a bow where they could squeeze the water out. They worked in silence for several minutes before Naruto spoke again:



“I was wrong about you. You have changed.”



Sasuke looked at him thoughtfully:



“You too.”



The blonde gave him a sheepish smile and scratched the back of his head.



“Okay, I feel awkward now.”



Sasuke actually smiled back. It wasn’t a big, shiny, sunny smile like Naruto’s smiles, but the corners of his lips definitely twitched with amusement. It was, Naruto decided, a welcome sight.



“Just go and sit at the table while I finish here. You’re making an even bigger mess.”



Later, they sat on the front porch overlooking the dusty road sharing a small bottle of chilled sake and a bowl of fruits. Neither was angry anymore, though the awkward silence between them persisted. There was so much to be said and neither knew how to even begin. Finally, Naruto gathered the courage to make the first step:



“You said you weren’t angry anymore.” He began.



“No. I am too tired to be angry anymore, Naruto. I am tired of anger and of hate and of revenge.” Sasuke answered after a moment, taking a sip from his bowl. “I spent a lifetime being angry. I don’t intend to waste anymore time on that.”



Naruto looked into the clear depths of his own bowl and carefully picked the words of his reply:



“And yet you still think that I was…”



“Disrespectful and nosy? Trying to control my life?”



“I was only trying to help you!” he protested, expecting an outburst from Sasuke but no such thing followed.



“I know.” Sasuke said simply. “But I didn’t want to be helped at the time. I just wanted to find Itachi.”



“For revenge?”



“So I believed at the time.”



“I don’t understand.”



“No, I don’t suppose you do.” Sasuke muttered. “Although, from what I heard, you learned quite a lot about personal loss for the past several years.”



“You’re talking about Jiraiya-sensei?”



“Among other people.”



“Yes. Losing him helped me understand you a little, I think. It helped me understand why you were so very obsessed with finding Itachi. He took what was most important to you.”



Sasuke bit into an apple and chewed for a while, not responding.



“I have never regretted leaving Konoha, Naruto.” He raised his hand when he saw him open his mouth to say something. “Let me finish. I don’t regret leaving Konoha. If it were up to me, neither Itachi nor I would remain here even for a second, had we been free. Nothing connects me to this place.” He gestured around. “My clan is gone. These are just empty houses. There aren’t even any ghosts here. Konoha, not Itachi, took them from me. I will never feel for this Village even a shred of love or duty. It is as dead to me as my own parents.” He threw the heart of the apple in the garden and continued “That said, going to Orochimaru was a mistake. He was a manipulative snake who withheld knowledge from me. I shouldn’t have gone to him, I’ll give you that. I also regret hurting you and Sakura and Kakashi-sensei. You were the first real friend I have ever had. You and Kakashi… you cared. I guess that Sakura cared too, in her own way, once her childish crush on my Uchiha fame faded a little, and eventually became my friend too. I am truly sorry that I hurt all three of you. And I am sorry if my words are hurting you now. Still, I believe that I should tell you all of this. Honesty is the least of what I owe you, after all we’ve been through.”



Naruto didn’t know how to respond to that. What had he been thinking? That now that Sasuke was forced to stay in Konoha, all would be forgiven and forgotten and things would be just like before? Had he retained some of that childish naivety from before, even after all these years of hardships to believe that? Yes, he had, he discovered bitterly. For all this time, he had chased after Sasuke, trying to force him to come back, to return to the previous status quo. He had wanted his friend back, because Sasuke too, had been his first real friend. At least, the first real friend who wasn’t a father figure like Iruka-sensei. He had validated his own existence through his friendship with Sasuke, and when he lost that, he tried desperately to return things to the way they had been before, without regard to his friend’s wishes. How selfish they had both been.



“I think I understand now. Truly understand.” He said softly. “When a creature has developed into one thing, he will choose death rather than change into his opposite.” He quoted sadly.



“Huh?” Sasuke looked at him uncertainly.



“It’s from a book I read some time ago. It means that when one has found a form he finds comfortable, he’d do everything possible to remain in that form, choosing not to search for another, even if it destroys him in the end.” Naruto explained. “Don’t give me that look, Sasuke. Yes, I began reading books that didn’t involve ramen and jutsus a long time ago.”



“Okay. Let’s assume that I understood what you just said. What is the form that I didn’t want to change?”



“You validated your existence through Itachi. He was your caretaker, your best friend, the only person in your family, perhaps other than your mother, who truly cared about you. He was your hero. And when that hero abandoned you, betrayed you, you were ready to do everything, absolutely everything, to try and make things be as they were before his betrayal. You don’t follow him for revenge, didn’t you?” he asked softly in the end. “You followed him because you wanted your big brother back.”



Sasuke was staring at him in wide-eyed shock. His jaw worked but no sound came out. Finally, he finished his cup in one large swig and stared at him.



“How come you figured something out so quickly when it took me years to understand it myself?” he asked incredulously.



Naruto gave him a bitter smile.



“It wasn’t that difficult. You know why?”



“Why?”



“You were MY Itachi.”