Broke Straight Guys

Broke Straight Guys

And another chapter comes forthwith!

volaju66: Wish granted... sorta.

Lil-lo: No, Kono is a full-on bigot. No struggling whatsoever. As far as Sakura goes, I don't think she meant to hit such a tender spot. She just caught up in everything. And Sasuke? You know that ONE person who never fails to piss you off? Sasuke is everyone's ONE person put together... and he's still not as big a douche as Tucker Max.

0o0

Getting It On

0o0

There was a mess on the table. Gears and cogs lay in a shining array, one occasionally being plucked up and inserted into the spot they called home. Grimy parts were cleaned and the torsion spring—left unwound by a careless owner—was replaced with a new one that had the ability to compensate for temperature and therefore more accurate, remedying the problem that had plagued owners of similar clocks for more than a century and a half. The work was done with steady, masterful hands that had trained years and years to fix such things. The concentration required was absolute and any interruption was disdained to the highest degree. Torsion pendulum clocks were notoriously delicate.

"What are you doing?"

Irate, Sasori set down his tools. He looked up at his curious cousin through the lenses of the glasses he used to focus on the smaller details of clocks. "Working. I do have a legitimate job, yanno."

"You and Kankuro, always taking crap apart. Remember when you guys disassembled Dad's car engine in the middle of the living room?" There had been much yelling from parents that day. Kankuro hadn't seemed to care, but Sasori had been absolutely devastated when his punishment came down on him. His dad had not been happy to hear that his son had taken part in deconstructing an extremely expensive aspect of his brother-in-law's car. "How long did Uncle ground you?"

"Three fuckin' months. I don't know why, considering that we put it right back together afterwards. By the way, how is that bastard brother of yours? Still at MIT?"

"He's fine. He got his master's in mechanical engineering and the Army hired him to build robots for them, so he's pretty happy."

"That so? Good for him. He's a smart guy. Did ya need something else or can I get back to finishing this? The guy wants it done by Monday."

Indeed there had been a point to this conversation. Getting to it would be prudent. "I meant to say that I'm going out. I probably won't be home until late, so you can eat some leftovers or order a pizza if you want."

"Where are you going? Visiting that hairy beast you call your boyfriend?"

"He's not a beast and we're going to a party." In case Sasori was tempted to tag along, he added, "Invitation only."

"Never said I wanted to go, 'cuz."

"If you get bored, hand out candy. I bought some in case any kids stopped by." Gaara mulled over the potential outcomes of his mobster cousin distributing fun-sized treats to unsuspecting children. When Sasori was in high school, he'd been into Halloween. Really into Halloween. As in, he'd do damn near anything to get a scare out of anyone who had the misfortune to cross his path on that mystic eve. "Don't terrorize them. I'm not going to have a repeat of junior year."

"Oh, so because I'm in the mob, you think I automatically want to make every snot-nosed brat who comes around here to trick-or-treat piss their pants in fear."

"No, I think that because you have serious issues and your haunted basement shtick made five girls pass out, induced such terror in a grown man that he ran screaming out of your house, and horribly traumatized god knows how many innocent kids for the rest of their lives."

"I don't have the time for anything cool this year." While unfortunate, he still had his memories to look back on. Back then, people wetting themselves with fear were fresh and exciting. Now it had become such a mundane part of his life that a lack of bladder control in his victims was more of an annoyance than anything else. People simply couldn't handle torture as well as they used to.

"Where did you even get that many animal organs?"

"Classified info, 'cuz." Sasori smirked. "Have fun at the party with that hulking thing that you love so much"

"Bee is not a hulking thing! Just because you like your men scrawny and hairless—"

"A taste we both shared until recently, if I remember correctly."

"Well, yes, but still—"

"I'm just screwin' with ya. You've got someone who makes you happy. That's a good thing. Now, lemme do a premonition for you." Sasori squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his fingers against his temples.

"How's it looking, o master fortuneteller?" Sometimes he couldn't help but humor Sasori's ridiculousness.

"Hoo boy, it's a doozy. Gimmie a second…" Nodding as he tuned into the sounds of the cosmos, Sasori reached for his vision. "I see… I see…"

"Not a lawsuit from angry parents whose kids you scared, right? I refuse to hire a lawyer for you."

"I foresee you getting intimately acquainted with…" With one last ounce of mental exertion, he lifted the curtain that separated them from the future. "…a juicy black dick and a fat nutsack."

Gaara immediately acquired a lovely scarlet coloring to his cheeks and flailed fists at his cousin, who was roaring with laughter. "You ass!"

Feigning further inspiration, Sasori continued, "I also see you not being able to sit for a week!"

"Shut up!"

"I bet he pounds you good, doesn't he, 'cuz?"

Frustrated and unwilling to give in to his cousin's sadistic sense of humor, Gaara turned on his heel and retrieved his costume. "I swear you have to be adopted. There's no way we're related."

"I'm adopted and that Killerbee guy fucks you like you're his prison bitch…" Voice tapering off momentarily, Sasori slyly added, "Unless you're still a virgin. You are, aren't you?"

Why did people insist on caring about his sex life? "Oh my god, Sasori, I'm not a freaking virgin! How old do you think I am?"

Obviously he thought it wise to leave out how not-so long ago it was that he had lost it.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch. Have you done it with him yet?"

"Why does it matter?"

"So you haven't."

"I never said that."

"Didn't have to."

"Goodbye, Sasori."

Without further adieu, Gaara stormed out with costume in hand.

Going back to work on the clock, Sasori managed another blissful twenty minutes before the next interruption came up. It was the ringing of the doorbell. Probably some local brats set on rotting their teeth with candy. Maybe he should just call it quits for the night. It was Halloween, after all. Why not get in the spirit of the season? He snuck a Twix bar from the bowl and consumed it before opening the door.

The person on the other side was most definitely not a kid looking to score their next sugar fix.

"Oh… Hey." Sasori blinked. Was this a prank from some twisted incubus? "Sorry, I was working. Come in."

Sasuke strode in with the confidence of a king, slinking casually past Sasori. Stunned by his heartthrob of a guest, he felt his legs go numb and he seriously wondered if walking was possible. He tried. It was. His stomach coiled deliciously at the sight of Sasuke as he was now, clothes so tight they could've been painted on. Saliva began to pool in his mouth as he let his eye wander down to the other man's groin. The outline of his dick was so damnably clear that it was unbelievable. No matter how hard he tried to look away, he was stuck as if in honey—sweet delicious honey slowly trickling down Sasuke's stomach, how wonderful that would be to lap up!

He licked his lips in nervous excitement. "If you're looking for Gaara, you just missed him. He's on his way to his boyfriend's place to get ready for a party, but you probably know that on account of you being his friend and—"

Sasuke chuckled languorously and Sasori felt his knees go weak, stumbling to find the chair he'd been working in before. "I'm here to see you. Is that so surprising?"

Had he not been sitting, he would've dropped to his knees. "I was under the distinct impression you didn't like me."

"I'm not always the friendliest person."

"I figured that." Sasori gulped as Sasuke planted a foot on the edge of his chair. "You look amazing."

"I know."

"Always knew you had a great body."

"You like it?"

"Fuck yeah. You know how long I've waited for this?" Emboldened, Sasori slapped Sasuke's butt with a stiff palm. Sasuke smiled alluringly and the thrill magnified in intensity. "Like being spanked, huh? You a pain slut?"

"Maybe."

"If a spanking's what you want, I'm the man to give it to ya. I'll smack it 'til it's cherry red, then I'll do ya like a fuckin' animal. I'd fuck that ass to the bone any day of the week. That what you want?"

"What I want…" Sasuke slowly leaned in. Inch by inch the distance between them shrunk until their lips were mere millimeters apart. "I want…"

Sasori closed his eyes, heart racing a mile a minute. "Tell me what you want, babe. I'll give it to ya better than you could dream in a million years."

Two hands seized his windpipe, strangling him. He jumped in his seat, losing his cool completely as he tried to escape the iron grip.

"Information. That's what I want. You're an underworld guy, so I figure you've got some." How evil those once beautiful eyes had become! Savageness stormed through the murky grey. "You probably can't talk, so I'll let up a bit. No screaming for help."

"You cunt!" Sasori raged. "You fuck with my feelings and then try to choke me? I'm not telling you shit!"

"That's a shame." Silky wet flesh slid up Sasori's cheek in a hot streak. A lick from his beau. "Here I was, thinking of rewarding you for your services."

"What is it you want to know?" Sasori asked warily.

"Has anyone in your circles done any kidnapping lately?"

"You want me to kidnap someone? Sheesh, what'd they do to you?"

"I'm looking for someone who was kidnapped, numbnuts."

"Jesus. That could get messy. How are you planning on paying me?"

"Well, there's the regular boring route of cold, hard cash… But if you'd like me to fuck you, there's always that."

"Hey, I'm strictly a top. Either I get ass or you get zip. Cash would be fine too, I guess. Student loans, new apartment, that bullshit. How's seventy five big ones sound?"

"Terrible. That's more than the ransom." And since when did hitmen pay their student loans?

"Better get to prepping that ass, then."

"Listen, you," Sasuke said tersely. "I don't bottom, not even if the info you got found the perpetrator of every unsolved case in the tri-state area. Either you find a way to work with that or I'll find someone else to be my informant."

"How do you know you won't like it? Can't knock it until you try it."

"You know, I've never wanted to shoot myself in the face either, but perhaps I should try it just to make sure I'm not missing out on anything. Care to spare a bullet?"

A beat.

"You're fucking hot when you're mad."

"Pathetic." Sasuke stepped back. "I can't believe I wasted this much time. I could be getting ready for the party. Thanks for nothing, jackass."

"Wait!"

Sasuke paused in the midst of his trek to the door. Sasori sprung up and kissed the anthropologist hungrily, melding their mouths together in blissful union. Playing rough, he yanked on the back of Sasuke's hair to force his mouth open and indulged in the taste of the man's toothpaste. Mint. Delicious. Every inch of his seducer wholly rejected the advance and the sheer antipathy amped him up to eleven. Rarely had he been this turned on by simple kissing. Keeping a firm grip on the roots of Sasuke's thick hair, he used his other hand to grab that toned mass of flesh that filled out those jeans so nicely and jerked his body closer, mashing their groins together. White hot pleasure glowed in his brain, purging it of any other thoughts. If only Sasuke had decided to come naked! His dick was dripping already, wetness smearing against his leg to reduce the chafing friction of his vigorous humping.

Sasuke pushed him away, wiping his tainted mouth on his arm as he glowered at the clockmaker as if he were an overexcited dog that had gained an amorous attachment to his leg. Scalp aching fiercely where it had been yanked by the roots, a migraine began to set in. He spat on the floor, ridding himself of the disgusting sweetness that had been introduced to his mouth during the kiss. Sasori must've helped himself to some of the candy he'd seen while coming in. Nausea crashed in massive waves that tore through his guts until he seriously wondered if he was going to upchuck the small lunch he'd had. Kissing men was nothing new for him—working for Broke Straight Guys had ensured that—but to not be in control of the situation disturbed him profoundly. Once in a while Neji would try to rile him up with forceful tongue action, but that was nothing compared to the brutish treatment Sasori had given him.

"I'll look into it for you. No guarantees." Sasori felt his manhood wilting with disappointment. He didn't mind much. That kiss had been enough.

"Good. But if you pull that shit again you'll be eating through a tube for the rest of your life." Sasuke snatched a handful of candy out of the orange plastic bowl sitting by the door. He hadn't eaten candy in years. After that debacle, he suddenly had a powerful craving for it. Pocketing them and tossing Sasori a final nasty look, he left.

Longingly watching the door close behind Sasuke, Sasori sighed. He enjoyed a challenge but perhaps he was in over his head on this one. Pride didn't allow him to doubt for long. After all, the hasty settlement definitely left significant wiggle room in the negotiations. There was still a shot of getting that honey-soaked Sasuke he desired.

"I'll make you mine yet, Uchiha."

I0I0I0I0I

"Is this the place?"

"Yep."

"Hurry up. I want to get drunk."

Sasuke trudged up the narrow stairs of the Broke Straight Guys office, the cape of his Zorro costume fluttering behind him. His pockets were full of sweets that he'd picked up on his way back from Gaara's house, in case he had the misfortune to have a run-in with Neji tonight to pile on to the horrible thing that was not to be named that had happened earlier. Knowing the persistent little prick, it was highly probable. He would be amazed if he didn't have a cavity or two festering in his mouth by the end of the night.

"I didn't think it was possible, but I do believe that he's in a worse mood than usual," remarked Tenten. She could swear that she could hear the crinkling of candy wrappers coming from the general direction of his pants. Sasuke didn't strike her as the type of guy who indulged in sweets.

"He said he had an errand to run earlier. I guess it didn't go so well. How do I look?" Naruto gestured to his pimp suit. It was a particularly interesting shade of purple.

"Ridiculous." Tenten grinned.

"Perfect."

Strutting grandly to the second floor, his jeweled cane clicked where it made contact with the floor. He entered the party with Wonder Woman faithfully at his side. The event was well under way and the man who'd interviewed him on the first day greeted them.

"Long time no see, Blondie! Well, isn't she a cute one? Glad to see things worked out for you."

"Me too." Naruto placed an arm around Tenten, hugging her for a few seconds.

"Well, the refreshments are over there, the bathroom is back there, and everything pretty much explains itself, so have a good time!" Waving merrily, he bounded off into the crowd just as Naruto's phone started to ring.

"Hello?"

"Okay, he should be occupied for a couple of minutes… Naruto? Are you there? I need you to do me a big favor."

"Gaara? Why are you whispering?"

"I haven't told Bee how I know any of these people."

"You mean you haven't told him you did por—"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean. 'Oh, we haven't even slept together, but I'd like to let you know that I did some porn once.' Make sure no one lets it slip."

"How?"

"I don't care, just make sure it gets done."

"You could always ditch the party and hit the town."

"You think I haven't suggested that? I'd love to be anywhere but there, but Bee's got his heart set on this because he's never celebrated Halloween before. I wish he'd never heard about this stupid party."

"You won't have to stay too long. We were planning on doing either some trick-or-treating or a bar crawl after we finished up here."

"Thank god. Can you help me out with the other thing?"

"Consider it done."

Naruto hung up and sought an opportunity to broadcast the message. He found it at the snack table, which he leaped upon and whistled furiously to gain the attention of the entire crowd.

"Listen up! Gaara—who most of you know as Nike—is on his way here with his new boyfriend! He hasn't told him he did videos for you yet and we want it to stay that way! This guy is really nice and he really loves him and I will really beat the shit out of anyone who ruins it for Gaara! Okay?"

There was some murmuring amongst the attendants until someone finally piped up.

"We'll keep it secret!"

"Count on us!"

"My lips are sealed!"

Satisfied, Naruto got down and rewarded himself with some punch.

Gaara arrived a while later, dressed simply as a gangster. His gleeful escort was a Roman soldier. The first person to notice their arrival was Sasuke, who approached them at a brisk stride. To those who knew him well, it was the equivalent of a normal person doing a full-on sprint from the devil himself. Confused, Gaara backtracked as Sasuke's intense stare beat into him mercilessly with each step he drew closer. He abruptly found himself against the wall but Sasuke did not stop. Shielding them from the outside world with his cape, Sasuke pressed his lips to those of Gaara. Heat flooded his cheeks as he felt a knee nudging his groin, spreading his legs wider. He gasped 'oh, oh' and became the second in his family to get a taste of Uchiha tongue tonight. Sampling chocolate and caramel was inevitable because Sasuke's mouth was ripe with it, sweetening the odd situation. The kiss made his innards feel warm and squishy in a way that was extremely unsettling but mildly erotic.

Slipping his hand down to the back of Gaara's knee, Sasuke hoisted the leg up and wedged himself snugly between the masseuse's thighs. Moaning shamefully, Gaara felt the tongue dip into him again. What was Sasuke doing? And with Killerbee right there, no less!

"Well, you certainly don't seem keen to see me. Whatever. Have your fun now and I'll be ready for you the next time we do a video."

Still hiding Gaara from view, Sasuke glanced over his shoulder. "Go fuck yourself, kid."

"Duly noted. See you later, big boy."

When the unseen man departed, Gaara was released.

"Damn, I hate that guy."

"You better have a good explanation for whatever that was. Right in front of Killerbee, too!"

"Had to be occupied. Otherwise Neji would've started bothering me." Resorting to Sasori's tactics disgusted him, but it was a necessary evil.

"Next time, I'd suggest you use a man who's not my boyfriend." Killerbee's voice was tight.

"I doubt that'll be much of a problem. Wouldn't want to get between you and your precious Gaara." Sasuke slunk off, intending to find a woman to spend the night with.

Overhearing, a partygoer in a devil's outfit came up and said, "So you're who our Gaara has been seeing. Nice to meet you. Would you like to enter the raffle? We've got a lovely selection of prizes you could win. Only five dollars a ticket. We're drawing in a few minutes."

"You're not even guaranteed to win," Gaara scoffed. Raffles were pointless. His bitterness towards them could be attributed to ages ago in elementary when he had wanted nothing more in the world than to win a raffle basket that had a stuffed lion in it and didn't win because some jerk's parents had bought twenty tickets and put half of them into the same raffle. Owning up to that was silly, so the rationalization was wasted.

"I'll take two."

"What?"

"Relax, Gaara. I've got a good feeling about this." Forking over the ten dollars breezily, Killerbee filled out the necessary information on the cards and gave them to the raffle drawer.

"If you don't win, I'm telling you 'I told you so'."

"Have some faith. We don't even know how many tickets are going to be in the basket I'm trying for. We might be the only ones."

"Hey, you made it!" Naruto maneuvered through the crowd. "We just about to leave."

"Oh? But I have to wait for the raffle. Plus it'd be a shame to go without saying hi to any of your friends, Gaara."

"I don't know the people here that well. They'll barely notice we're gone." Bluffing was not one of Gaara's strong suits. Hopefully Killerbee would bend to his will and get out of here before anyone started complimenting him on his acting.

"I'll go see if we won."

"Fine. I'll wait for you." No, hold on a second. Killerbee was a friendly guy. He might talk to someone too drunk to keep the secret. "On second thought, I'll go with you."

"Great!"

They did, in fact, win one of the prizes. Their reward? A basket filled with an array of butt plugs, lubricant, and condoms. Gaara blushed furiously, darkening further when Killerbee offered the prize to him.

"An early birthday present in preparation for the real thing."

"Bee!" The audacity stunned him. Sure, they were in a room full of porn stars and gifts of this nature were commonplace among them, but Killerbee didn't know that. He believed they were regular people, yet he was presenting him with a butt plug bouquet.

"Want to try something interesting?" Killerbee whispered.

"Define 'interesting'."

"Take one of these plugs and wear it for the rest of the night. I think that would be very, very sexy…"

"Are you crazy?"

"You don't want to?"

Gaara eyed the insidious implements cautiously. There was an additional strap to hold in plugs for long periods of time and the plugs themselves had a plethora of shapes and sizes. If he lubed one up enough…

"Oh god."

"Which one would you like?"

Glowering at his boyfriend, Gaara selected one at random and collected both the strap and a small bottle of lubricant as well, tucking them into his pockets before discreetly hurrying to the bathroom. He locked himself in a stall and dropped his trousers. For the first time he looked at the plug he'd chose: a pleasant magenta-colored device divided into three increasingly larger spherical sections, not unlike a string of oversized anal beads. The biggest sphere tapered sharply at the bottom and then flared back out to create a place for the user to grip the plug. Holding the plug by this, he managed to squirt a quarter-sized amount of lube on the fingers of his free hand and wetted his entrance, disbelieving that he was going to do this.

Once he figured he was prepped enough, he liberally coated the plug and worked the first sphere into his anus. He didn't anally stimulate himself often, so it was slightly tough going. It slipped in with a faint wet pop and he began to focus on the second one. Grunting, he pushed and tried to loosen up at the same time and it slid into place as well. Now for the third. Backing out of this right now would be so easy and he had started to start to reverse the direction of the force on the plug until he remembered what Killerbee had said. According to his memory, if he did this his boyfriend would find him sexy beyond belief. Having someone consider you sexy was a precious commodity and he wanted to hoard as much of Killerbee's various forms of affection as much as possible. Determined to go all the way, he had went into a deep bow, bracing himself against the stall door as he pushed it inside him. He could feel every millimeter slipping past his sphincter at a snail's pace and the sensation made his cock tingle. The bead abruptly was swallowed by his anus once it began to taper and he hissed, the fullness unfamiliar to his body. Attaching the strap to the plug was easy. He exited the bathroom and tried to get used to the feeling of the plug shifting inside him.

"How is it?" Killerbee couldn't keep the excitement out of his voice.

"I hate you so much right now." Gaara gritted his teeth. This is what they meant when they said people did stupid things for love. Based on the experience of more than two decades of life, this was undeniably the most humiliated he'd been in a public setting.

"Take it out any time you like."

"You guys ready? Whoa, what's up with Gaara?" Naruto studied his friend curiously.

"He was saying that it was hot in here."

"It'll be cooler outside. I asked around and the people here said that there's a bar right down the street. You guys in?"

"Yes." Bars meant places to sit. Having a place to sit meant not having this damn plug rubbing his innards every time he took a step.

"I don't drink, but if Gaara wants to go…"

"I'll go find the guys." Naruto bounded off.

"Will you be needing me to carry you?" Killerbee queried playfully.

"I can walk fine."

Later he was wishing that he'd taken Killerbee up on his offer as he tried to figure out how to walk so that the plug wouldn't move so damn much. Love was so stupid.

I0I0I0I0I

Naruto didn't fancy himself to be paranoid. And yet…

"Is it just me, or have people been staring at us?"

A lanky twink sidled up to Gaara. "Are your legs tired? I'd think so, seeing that you've been running through my mind all night."

"He's with me." Killerbee cut off the courtship before it ever had a chance.

The twink looked down at Gaara, lip curled as if a particularly foul odor had just been wafted in his direction. "So you're into that, huh? Figures you'd be a size queen. It's always the innocent-looking ones."

Acknowledging his presence meant admitting to something that he wasn't that interested in, so Gaara pretended that the man wasn't hovering over him. Smugly strutting off, the twink disappeared into the crowd of pulsing bodies around them.

"Okay, now I'm sure people have been staring at us."

"I'm afraid that's my fault." Killerbee admitted, running his finger around the circumference of his glass of cranberry juice. "Interracial dating hasn't quite caught on in the gay community yet. Sticking to what you know is generally how it works. Being attracted to someone your own gender is already agony city for the way the world views you. We're considered abominations in the eyes of every major religion. No need to make it tougher by mixing the pot."

Another man came for a swoop, this time for Killerbee. His teeth were exceptionally bright compared to the rich darkness of his skin. "Hey. How about you drop that pasty white bitch and take on a real man?"

"Not interested."

"Don't play me, man. We spent more than a century enslaved to these fuckers. Where's your African pride?"

"In the same part of me that loves him."

"Damn Toby, he's got you whipped real good. Guess I'll leave you with 'Massa'. Fuck you and your tiny-dick white bitch."

Killerbee's hand tightened into a crushing grip on his glass. "Hard as it is, I'm attempting to be civil with you, but if you keep trying to start something with me—"

"Nigga, this shit started when you betrayed your race to be with that emaciated cracker. This shit is on like Donkey Kong, you hear?" His hands went up in a fighting stance that was so blatantly stolen from some B-list action flick that it was almost as painful as the insults he'd been slinging. "And 'attempting to be civil'? Bet you went to college, didn't ya? You did your tricks for the Man and he gave you a dime to get good and educated. You don't know how hard it is out there for a real nigga! We don't get nothin' handed to us 'cause the Man is keepin' us down! Forget me ever wantin' to fuck you! Your punk ass couldn't handle a real nigga like me! Now get your bigheaded self up and prepare for the asswhoopin' of a lifetime!"

"Paul!" shouted the bartender. The bouncer arrived and snared the rabble-rouser by the arm in attempt to drag him out before the situation got any more heated.

"There's no need for that. I assure you, I can handle this on my own."

Killerbee slid off the bar stool and pressed his feet firmly on the floor to ground himself. The enraged man took a swing at him that he neatly sidestepped, retaliating with a hard right that drove home into his attacker's stomach. Coughing, the man distanced himself before going in for another strike. Killerbee caught his fist, tightening his grip on it until the onlookers that had gathered could hear bones popping. His knee came up and nailed him right below the ribcage and that was all she wrote. The man lay gasping on the floor, visibly shaken at the turn of events.

"For your information, my parents were illegal immigrants. But to them, it was unacceptable for me to do anything less than my best so I could have the life they wanted me to. We didn't always live in the best neighborhoods and when my father was scraping by on minimum wage jobs, trying to get employers to acknowledge his abilities and being degraded and belittled along the way because the fact he was from the supposedly backwards country of Iran made them sick, we didn't always have food on the table. When I did get the chance to go to a better school, he took a second job and my mother got one of her own so they could afford the tuition and when I got there, I saw nothing but white faces every day. The civil rights movement had ended decades before, but even then I was a second class citizen. You think you've got it tough because you're black? Try adding Muslim on top of that and see how much people like you. Even then I worked hard throughout my primary school career so I could have the chance to get a better education."

"Fuck you!" wheezed the instigator.

"Nothing was ever handed to me. My 'African pride', as you call it, does exist. It lives alongside my Persian pride and my American pride and all three are thriving. They don't hold me back. They empower me. You have no excuse." Killerbee raised his head high. "Leave before your damage becomes a type that's more permanent."

He sat back down and the people who had come to watch the fight dispersed somewhat disappointed at the lack of bloodshed.

Gaara ordered some more juice for his lover, shunning the watered down cranberry drink of ten minutes ago. "Do you often give motivational speeches when you're beating the hell out of someone?"

"I thought it appropriate for the occasion. That's what you get for dating a big scary terrorist race-traitor like me. It's always a surprise."

"Congrats on the victory." Gaara lifted his drink and Killerbee did the same, clinking them together. "That guy was beyond rude."

"Indeed he was." Killerbee lowered his juice so the rim touched the bottom of Gaara's glass. "I am your servant."

Keeping his curiosity to himself, Gaara amused himself by running his finger through the fringe of Killerbee's beard. "You're so weird."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"So… This beer's pretty good, eh, Sasuke?" Naruto wasn't quite sure to handle what had happened mere moments ago.

"The head is weak. Cheap shit." Sasuke was a scathing critic, but he was going to get his money's worth one way or another. He forced another mouthful down his gullet. "Where'd your midget girlfriend go? Didn't she leave to use the bathroom like twenty minutes ago?"

"She's not a midget, you dick. Not every girl can have legs up to their eyeballs." Naruto prodded his companion with his pimp cane. "Maybe there was a line."

"Long legs are hotter. She probably hooked up with some random chick."

"That's your opinion and there's no way she did that."

"Long legs are hotter, period. Especially when they're in stilettos and fishnets."

"Again, your opinion."

"Sorry it took me so long to get back. I was talking to my new friend." Tenten gestured towards a redhead decked out as Poison Ivy. "She knows a lot of neat things about guns."

"Called it." Knocking back the last of his drink, Sasuke set down the empty glass with an air of satisfaction and ordered a stronger spirit to slake his undying thirst.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Naruto."

"Tenten mentioned you. You really are as handsome as she said you were, aside from the hideous suit." The redhead shook his hand. "I might have to take you up on that offer."

"See, we were talking and she mentioned that she just broke up with her girlfriend and I thought the three of us could have some… fun. Provided that you're feeling up to it."

Naruto wished he'd had a tape recorder so he could replay that beautiful statement over and over again until the end of time. God bless bisexual women! "I'm more than up to it."

"My car's out front. We can go whenever you want."

Blissfully stupefied, Naruto turned to the rest of the group and said, "Sorry, but we'll be ducking out on you guys. Happy Halloween."

Sasuke rattled the ice in his glass for a long while after his roommate was gone. "So unfair… Gimmie another."

Half an hour later, the faintest of a buzz had settled pleasantly between Gaara's ears and the world had developed a misty outline. His cognition was only slightly slowed, but he figured it was time to call it quits. "Well this whole evening was a bust. Let's go home."

Sasuke groaned into the polished wood of the bar. He'd just downed an extremely unreasonable amount of 150-proof vodka to drown his sorrows. "M'not goin home."

Forgetting the false advance on his boyfriend momentarily, Killerbee almost felt sympathetic towards Sasuke. "Can't say I blame him. I don't know if I'd want to listen to Zetsu having a three-way."

"He can stay at my house. Hope you like sleeping on couches. Sasori is in my main guest bedroom and the other one is full of junk at the moment. You could move it, but with the state you're in, I wouldn't recommend it." Tactfully neglecting to mention the issue of his cousin's deep-rooted sexual attraction and the potential ramifications, Gaara helped Sasuke to his feet. "Easy there. Watch your step."

"Yer a good friend, Gaara. You know that? You are." Drifting into microsleep, Sasuke staggered sideways, nearly taking the both of them down before abruptly regaining consciousness and righting them so they wouldn't become too intimately acquainted with the floor. "And you have soft lips. Jus like a girl… Better than yer stupid cousin."

Perplexed and troubled, Gaara figured he shouldn't touch that subject. Was it best to put him and his horndog cousin in such close proximity? When Sasori was on the rebound, he tended to behave more lasciviously than while in the middle of a semi-stable relationship. Plus there was that mob mindset. No didn't mean no. The word no might as well not exist as far as he was concerned. Fortunately, Sasori managed to maintain a shred of human decency and probably wouldn't take advantage of him while Gaara was trying get in his forty winks. If he did, well… Sasuke was going to be shit out of luck.

Killerbee had flagged down a cab already, fortunate given the area they were in. "After you get him situated, I want you to come back to my place. I have something I want to show you."

"Watch the curb, Sasuke." Gaara ushered the anthropologist into the cab delicately and squeezed in to the crowded seat.

"Gaara, I love youuuu…" Sasuke patted his friend on the back awkwardly. "I can count on you, 'cause you're my bro... And I love you, Beeee… Actually, I'm kinda terrified of you… And I love this guy driving us hooommmeee… Give him a really, really, really, really, really, really, really big tip."

Hot embarrassment stained Gaara's face crimson as the cabbie gave them a peculiar look. This was quite possibly the drunkest he'd seen Sasuke. "Guess I should stock up on Gatorade. You're going to have a hell of a hangover."

Struck by sudden inspiration, Sasuke leaned over Gaara and opened the door, letting a cool rush of air flow into the small cabin as stuck his head out and screamed, "I love everyoneeeee!"

Killerbee grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him back inside as Gaara quickly closed the door, narrowly dodging a wayward bicyclist.

"If he's going to be a problem, then you three can get the hell out right here."

"He won't be a problem."

"Turn up the radio! I love this song! They took the midnight train going anywheeereee!" Sasuke belted out gleefully.

Gaara put his hand over Sasuke's mouth. Note to self, he thought as Sasuke tried to pry his hand away from his face, extremely drunk Sasuke should not be allowed in public.

"Reminds me of why I don't drink." While amused, Killerbee was bothered by the notion that people willingly did this to themselves. "Does this happen every time you go out?"

"If you mean him belting out karaoke solos and declaring his love for everyone and everything within a three mile radius, then no. He went the full nine yards tonight."

"How privileged we are to witness this for ourselves." Killerbee rolled his eyes as Sasuke's energy faded again and he nodded off briefly on Gaara's shoulder, drooling copiously.

"Gross." Gaara pushed him over to Killerbee's side of the seat and tried unsuccessfully to get the wet spot out of his pinstriped suit.

Jolted awake, Sasuke took in his surroundings with a baffled look and lulled momentarily. "Wha happen? Where are we"

"We're going home."

"Your home?"

"Yes."

"Dibs on the bathroom. Gotta piss like a racehorse."

"Thanks. We really wanted to know that." Gaara was seriously considering dropping alcohol from his life after this shenanigan ended. He doubted that he'd miss it much. Sasuke began to croon 'Bohemian Rhapsody'.

No, he didn't think he'd miss it a bit.

I0I0I0I0I

Gaara was not a fan of surprises. In fact, he rather disliked surprises on the whole. When Killerbee told him to close his eyes while he opened his apartment, he hoped that whatever this thing that had to be seen was not surprising whatsoever. The horror film-addled paranoid part of himself imagined a bloody massacre scene where guts hung from the ceiling as decorative garlands and not a square inch of the entire apartment was free from the burgundy taint of blood stains. Zetsu's head would be served up on a platter with an apple crammed in his mouth. The many people he held dear to him would be hanging from the ceiling on butcher's hooks. While the macabre theories were running, he might as well mention a murder-suicide. Killerbee would draw a Colt, shoot him somewhere vital, and then turn the gun on himself in the stupidest romantic statement to ever exist. Or he could go solely for the murder and defile his still-warm corpse by deep-dicking it to completion. What a plethora of possibilities!

Impatiently tapping his foot, he waited for Killerbee to get the door unlocked and unleash whatever horrors lay within. Taking Gaara by the hand, he led his boyfriend inside and urged him to look at what he'd done.

Countless candles flickered dimly on any flat surface there was room to occupy and a trail of rose petals created a path to Killerbee's bedroom. Soft music played distantly from the same direction. Sandalwood incense smoldered in the kitchen. Searching for an explanation, Gaara looked to Killerbee. Added together, this only came out to one possible solution.

"I said it'd be special, didn't I?"

"Bee, this is kinda… cheesy. But in a good way."

"I had hoped you would like it. Zetsu help me set it up." Killerbee joined their lips briefly. "May I have you, Gaara?"

"Aren't we Mr. Manners tonight?" Gaara marveled. "You most definitely may."

They slipped out of their costumes on the way to the bedroom and while Gaara shivered at the chill that touched his skin, he wasn't cold for long. Killerbee kept close to him, warming him as they kissed their way to the bed, laying him down slowly. Gaara didn't spend much time in that position as he quickly found his face against the covers, underwear being stripped away. Naked and prostrate before his lover, Gaara cast him a look over his shoulder at the man who sat patiently on his haunches, disposing the underwear that had stood between him and what he wanted.

"I'm impressed that you kept it in the entire night." Killerbee undid the strap that held the plug in and gripped the base. "Ready?"

"Yes."

Killerbee drew back the plug, cock springing with every sphere that slid out of Gaara's ass so cleanly. Gaara groaned earthily, anus alive with raw sensation as the spheres dragged smoothly across the sensitive muscles. Being empty was strange after having spent the better part of two hours with the thing stuck in him. Killerbee discarded the plug and kissed the back of Gaara's neck, then parted his lips to lick it with his broad tongue. Shivering as the saliva cooled on his skin, Gaara wondered where this would lead. More kisses? Or another form of foreplay?

Neither was the answer for again Killerbee licked him, slightly lower this time, running his tongue straight up to Gaara's neck. This way he carried on down Gaara's upper back, always coming back to the original destination before starting the next lick. There was something soothing about it.

"Close your eyes and feel, Gaara. That's what I want you to do. Just feel me touching your beautiful body, feel me rubbing my hands all over you, feel me worship you the only way I know how." Committing his sweet sacrilege, he was halfway through the ribs when he spoke. "You want me to tell you what I'm going to do to you, Gaara?"

"Try me…" Gaara purred drowsily.

"I'm gonna lick you from your head to your toes."

Demonstrating further, he went fancy and drew a sloppy swirling path to the origin. His breath fanned heavily against Gaara's upper vertebrae.

"Maybe I'll suck on your nuts."

Reaching out with those delicately trained hands of his, he fondled the pale sack to wake it from its unattended slumber.

"I'm going to play with your asshole for a while, but not too long. Wouldn't want to keep you waiting."

Rubbing his thumb against the rosy pucker, Killerbee now directed his mouth up from the spot where it had been, past the kidneys. He paused his ministrations momentarily to lean into Gaara's ear and huskily whisper, "And then I'll stick my big fat dick in your almost-virgin ass and give it a real nice workout. I'll get noises out of you that you didn't know you could make. I'll fuck you through the mattress and the floor and your ass will be gulping me up like I'm the best damn milkshake you ever had. I'll take you to the breaking point and back. And when I'm finished with you, I'll pump you full of rich, creamy dick juice. Do you want that, G-a-a-a-r-r-r-a?"

Gaara moaned into the sheets, body flushing hotly as Killerbee sensually dragged out his name.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

"Yes!" Gaara groaned, stomach muscles rippling beneath him as the gentle lapping recommenced.

"I'd hoped so. But talk is cheap."

Killerbee reached the base of Gaara's spine, swooping his tongue up its entirety. Gaara trembled with pleasure, body loose and willing to be taken at Killerbee's behest. Pausing the action for a moment, Killerbee retrieved something from his nightstand and showed it to Gaara. It appeared to be a three by three square of latex. Curious to the purpose of the petite sheath, Gaara waited with bated breath. Returning to his previous position, Killerbee parted the moon-white globes that were his boyfriend's asscheeks with one hand and pressed the latex square to the lubricated hole with the other. Once it was in the ideal position, he dipped his head down and thrust his tongue—curled into an cylindrical shape smooth the entry—against the sheath into Gaara's anus. He hoped Gaara didn't take offense to the sheath, given that it could be taken as he viewed him to be unclean.

Gaara was having no such complaints. Killerbee had unfurled his broad tongue and it had taken on a life of its own inside him, undulating, twisting, lapping, sucking at his inner walls in this forbidden pleasure. For the first time he had a violent reaction to his lover's treatment, writhing under his skillful touch and shrieking out the name of the man who was doing this fantastically wicked thing to him. Fingers tightening in the sheets, he briefly wondered how long his claw marks would remain in the soft blue fabric. Killerbee began to nibble—Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!—at his hole, bringing his boiling blood forth to saturate the vessels he was becoming intimately acquainted with. Gaara nearly wept. Part of him was so seized with lust that he pushed himself back further onto Killerbee's face, delighting in the feel of the rough moustache tickling his skin. His dick dribbled eagerly, seeking more excitement.

Killerbee disappointed him by removing his tongue and casting the sheath aside. "Now, to get some latex on the both of us…"

It took a moment for his brain to catch up and when it did, Gaara thought it was a bit extreme to have the bottom wearing a rubber as well, but this was Killerbee's time to shine so he wasn't about to complain if it meant that the rest of their session would be anything like that glorious eat-out he'd surrendered to. He rolled over to receive his condom and got a look at his boyfriend's prick for the first time.

"What the hell is that supposed to be?" he exclaimed, scooting away nervously. "Jesus! That's not a penis, that's a WMD!"

Bobbing between Killerbee's legs was a circumcised penis with dimensions rather similar to that of a cucumber. Flushed dark with blood, it was girthy and of a considerable length. Beneath it hung a pair of heavy-looking testicles and Gaara had to wonder what it felt like to be carrying that in his pants every day. The ego-boost he got out of it had to be phenomenal.

"Relax," Killerbee soothed him. "If you get too nervous, it'll hurt."

"How is your brain still functioning with that taking up so much of your blood supply?"

"Ha ha, Mr. Funnyman." Killerbee rolled his eyes as he secured the condom. "Here's yours."

There was something strangely beautiful in the monstrous thing, which was currently being lubricated by its tamer. He knew that penises could get to that size but had never seen one himself. "You could do push-ups with that thing. Seriously. If you lost a leg, that could replace it."

"Am I going to have to make you behave?"

"I don't think I can take it."

"Look, it's just like the butt plug. You're already stretched pretty well and if you just relax a little, I promise it won't hurt that much." With a twisting flourish he finished lubing up his hardened length. "If you don't like that, then you can ride me so you're controlling the amount you're taking at any given time."

"If you're okay with that."

"I'd be honored to be your steed."

Nothing he could think of could adequately respond to that, so he gave Killerbee a look that said it all and more. Perking his eyebrow at his lover, Killerbee took a new place on the bed at the headboard to give himself support. It wouldn't do to have to stop because of back strain halfway through. Gaara positioned himself accordingly and began to carefully sink down onto the girthy prick. Every half inch or so he would pause and try to get used to the fullness. Overall the pain was minor and he was soon stuffed like a spring chicken. He lifted himself up slightly and pushed his hips back down, slowly setting a pace for himself. He worried that Killerbee wouldn't like this, but the biologist sat there smiling at him in pure adoration.

"You're so beautiful, Gaara." His strong hands caressed the pale thighs of his lover, eliciting a soft groan. "You could have nearly any man you want and you chose me. Do you have any idea how blessed that makes me feel?"

"I'm the one who should be saying that about you."

"I'd call you perfect, were it not for the fact humans are incapable of being perfect. But even in your imperfection, you manage to be a cut above the rest."

Gaara blushed at the praise. "You're going to make me lose my focus with that sweet-talking."

So Killerbee kissed him instead. Encouraged by the gratuitous affection, Gaara picked up the tempo. Hands migrating from thighs to hips, Killerbee steadied him and began to rock shallowly into the inexperienced hole. The size of his manhood made it as such that the contact with Gaara's prostate was nearly constant and lazy waves of pleasure stroked the edges of his mind. Lactic acid burned in Gaara's leg muscles from the exertion and his cock occasionally twitched, spitting out bits of precum. He stopped to catch his breath. Killerbee had been patient with him this long. Rewarding such a virtue seemed appropriate.

"Fuck me, Bee."

Keeping a guiding arm around Gaara, he laid the man down on his back without splitting their conjoined state. Once he thought him to be properly situated on the sheets, he propped himself up and began a legato series of thrusts, powerful and slow. Each one moved Gaara a fraction away from his previous resting point. It wasn't long before Killerbee found the proper angle to access the prostate and the blunted edge of his cock was soon alternating between short, sharp bursts against it and longer ones that were borderline painful. His arms snaked up to pull Killerbee closer to him, to meld their flesh with sweat. His legs followed their fingered brothers to lock ankles behind Killerbee, effectively imprisoning him in an embrace.

Gaara was completely overwhelmed with sensation. The musky smell of Killerbee, the soft crush of pubic hairs against his ass, the heaviness of Killerbee's weight on his comparatively fragile body, the faint slap of full testicles against his skin. So unbearable was this bliss that he had scant doubts an orgasm in this state just might kill him.

"I love you, I love you, I love you—oh god, I love you!" Gaara moaned, arching up into a particularly potent thrust.

Each declaration made Killerbee whisper back 'I love you too, I love you too' and the affirmation only served to make Gaara more enthralled, prick drooling steadily into the reservoir tip of the condom. The wetness of his own juices on his aching skin stirred up a fervor that was nearly hallucinogenic in nature. Pressure spiraled in a chaotic vortex that inhabited the space right below his gut, a rapidly shrinking black hole that would result in a personal Big Bang that he was trying to fend off for as long as he could. Will battling the firm thrusts of his lover's cock, he mounted a mighty defense with shields gleaming. Each push was a battering ram to take down the fortress he had carefully constructed and the shields were soon dented and crumpling. Redoubling his efforts, Gaara sent in reinforcements to support the collapsing guard and for a while it seemed to be successful, but Killerbee's aerobic capabilities were greater than those of his own and once more he was waging a losing war as the tides of an orgasm began lapping at the heels of his strained self-control. Tighter and tighter the vortex coiled, on the verge of implosion.

The line broke.

Tossing his head back, Gaara cried out his lover's name in pure, unadulterated ecstasy as his buttocks clenched to the tightest the muscles could contract and his body locked into a massive shuddering ejaculation that caught Killerbee off guard and drove him over his own cliff. Thick cum jetted out of their respective penises to stretch their reservoirs to the limit and Gaara, still shaking, uttered a few breathy noises before falling into a fuzzy limpness beneath Killerbee. Showing his appreciation the only way his dulled mind knew how, Gaara began rubbing small circles on Killerbee's back and kissed his sweating brow.

"I've never cummed that hard in my life…"

"I think…" Killerbee half panted, half laughed. "…that was a bit of a first for me as well. I really wasn't expecting that trick at the end. I thought I'd be able to last a while longer but you pulled that and it was game over."

"Sorry. I don't know what that was."

"Don't be. I look forward to seeing more of it." Killerbee tasted the sweat on Gaara's cheek, sighing at the saltiness. "You have no idea how amazing it felt when you clamped down on me all of a sudden and started to shake. With all the lovers I've had, none of them stimulated me that much in a single moment."

Replaying the final moments in his memory, Gaara felt mortification creeping up on him. "I can't believe I was screaming like that…"

"Bet the neighbors know my name." Killerbee shook his head, chuckling. He expected he'd have several noise complaints against him first thing in the morning.

"Get off me, you big lug. It's not funny."

"I assure you, you'll get used to hearing yourself make those noises soon enough."

Laughing as Gaara protested this indignity, Killerbee smothered his faces with kisses and began to withdraw, the thick penis dragging mournfully out of Gaara's ass and leaving a gaping emptiness there that longed to be filled again. They cleaned themselves up and settled down on the plush pillows. Sleep came quickly for both.

I0I0I0I0I

Miles away, Sasuke Uchiha was trying to enjoy a good night's rest of his own. His success was limited. Falling asleep was easy, especially since he was drunk. Hours later he woke up to take a piss and had stayed up since, trying to work his way into slumber once more. When he had gotten to that blissful semi-conscious state that was situated firmly on the border between rest and wakefulness, he'd heard that unmistakable noise. There was only one person who could fapping in the doorway of the second guest bedroom at midnight. Moving slowly, he shifted unnoticeably under the blanket to get a better look of the voyeur who was so fascinated by his sleeping cycle. Unless Gaara had decided to come home—which was highly unlikely—then the culprit was Sasori, as he suspected. He wanted to chase him out and give him a sound beating for even having the gall to do such a repulsive thing but Sasori was his only link to the city's seedy underbelly. Better to put up with the minor crap when he could than to lose his informant.

Finishing with a muffled grunt, Sasori watched Sasuke for a while longer before crossing the floor of the small room to stand at his bedside. He brushed the hair out of Sasuke's face tenderly with his cum-free hand and bent down to kiss his temple.

"Sleep tight, Uchiha."

Disappearing quietly as he came, Sasori retreated to his own nighttime dwelling and Sasuke shivered. That was beyond creepy. Spending nights at Gaara's house was a no-no from now on. Rubbing the spot where Sasori had kissed him on the back of his hand, he struggled to resist the urge to take a very long and thorough shower. With his luck, Sasori had likely planted a camera in the bathroom to catch any potential action. Was this really the right guy for the job?

Naruto was going to be paying this stupid favor off for the rest of his life.

0o0

More Sasori, since the readers requested it. I've mentioned this to a few of you, but for everyone else: Since Sasori is Gaara's cousin and Karura was his aunt, you know who that makes his dad, right? Think about it.

Extra story related stuff: Remember a couple chapters back when I mentioned that when Sasuke was younger he had a girlfriend he was super in love with but they had a really nasty breakup and he suffered some deep emotional scars that he represses as much as humanly possible due to it? Interested in seeing her in the not-too-distant-but-not-too-near future? All in favor say yay, everyone who doesn't give a flying fuck say nay.

In regards to people who are like the angry guy at the bar… STFU, you're making the rest of us look bad. On the upside, I think I get bonus points for working a tiny Roots reference into a Naruto fanfic.

Finally, slang note for those who may not know.

Fapping: (verb.) A term synonymous with masturbation, jerking off, etc. Derived from the fleshy sound of a hand moving quickly across a penis.

Until next time…

~YamiTenshi~