The Restricted Section

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do not own the basis for the story idea “The Restricted Section”.


The Restricted Section
By 11


Chapter 13

Sasuke frowned and fell to his side on the bed. He really wished that things had gone differently. What was worse was that this whole situation was entirely out of his power. He couldn’t even conceive what he could do to fix it.

It was so hopeless like this.

He ran straight to her, it was like Sasuke no longer even existed for him; all he even saw was her, her and her flushed cheeks and bright cherry lips and soft silk pink hair. Bright green eyes that Sasuke had filled with tears so many times…

But he didn’t know! How could he have even been prepared for it? Naruto just flung himself into her arms. It still had taken over a minute before it finally clicked, before he finally recognized the love in blue eyes and the lead stones inside his own body.

“Sakura!”

Just the way he said her name sounded like a gasp and cry at once, it was one of joy and he became so alive when he saw her – he wasn’t shy at all. And ‘she’ had returned his embrace, laughing her silver laughter and chaining Naruto’s ears all to herself.

Then her eyes had turned to him and had not strayed. Sasuke didn’t even have the decency to look away himself, he was too much in shock – he already knew what would happen, but that didn’t lessen the internal rips and tears that were slashed open then.

“Sasuke…”

Her whisper had carried so many controversial emotions, hurt, love, sadness, and even reverence and adoration of some sort. Spoken like a quiet prayer or a cry to salvation with a last breath.

Blue eyes had frozen then still gazing in love at the girl, he started in shock and then turned his questioning gaze to Sasuke. Dark eyes bouncing back and forth between Sakura and Naruto – he already knew what would happen, but he couldn’t stop it.

“You knew each other?” Naruto asked her. Sakura’s gaze finally broke from his and she looked away her face flushed and her foot rubbed at the concrete with her toe.

“We dated a while.” She finally answered.

That was the only information necessary and Naruto instantly knew what had transpired, anyone who knew who ‘Sasuke’ was would know what happened the moment a person admits to having had any ‘romantic’ or sexual relation for however brief a time with the renowned ‘Sasuke’.

Naruto looked at her again shock passed through him; though it seemed he had already guessed and only hoped otherwise. Hopes so hard, so that the pain that crossed his face at her admission could not be explained away by poor light or the briefness of the expression when he looked at her.

Then his eyes turned back to him, and Sasuke felt any life and light he had stolen from the blond earlier seep out of him. Naruto’s eyes were so blank, so disgusted, something between that shock and horror. But it was worse, because he had almost expected it the moment he realized that Sakura and Sasuke had met previously.

It disturbed him, and it began to disturb Sasuke more.

Sakura’s eyes watered and she glanced away only to return green eyes to ebony searching for acceptance, vindication for her own feelings. Sasuke stood impassive, whatever he said it wouldn’t change anything now. Already Naruto’s eyes had hardened to him with the same kind of detestation Sasuke wished he’d never have to see again.

Thus here he was curled in his bed wishing that things were different. He had hurt her even before he met Naruto though… this wasn’t fair. Circumstances were working against him here.

What was worse, Sakura was the girl Naruto was in love with. He knew, the moment he saw the way blue eyes looked at her, it was the same as that night when he’d first mentioned her. When he’d first let slip he was in love, ‘a long time ago’ he’d said, no so long that that love had waned though.

He had that same dizzying look of devotion that night after ramen. Sasuke breathed, realizing he hadn’t taken breath for several moments. Naruto still owed him a cooked meal, but no doubt the blond had forgotten by now, not that it meant anything anymore. Promises were made and broken amidst so many lies and unseen truths.

Naruto hadn’t even said ‘good bye’ when he’d walked Sakura home. Sure he didn’t ignore him, he acknowledged he was leaving him, and he treated it so flippantly – but that’s what friends did. So maybe he wasn’t that far gone.

What if this meant that Naruto really did hate him now? What could he do then? This happened in his past, before he met Naruto, it wasn’t anything he could really make amends for or to. Talking to Sakura at this point would only hurt her more, and as it was Naruto regarded him like that… what could he do?

Sakura was such a clingy lover too… how could Naruto have even used to love her? Her love was so smothering, almost too affectionate, caring to the point of domestic fortitude. What did he see in her? Why did he love her?

Maybe it wouldn’t last long, maybe Naruto and her would learn that time had changed their feelings and they didn’t want each other anymore.

For an instant, watching Ed crawl across the bed sheets, Sasuke toyed with the idea of stealing Sakura from Naruto, then the blond would have no one but him. But he dismissed that thought as easily as it came to him.

Something like that wouldn’t be fair to Sakura or to Naruto, it would hurt both of them in the long run and Sasuke would always have to acknowledge the guilt for doing such a thing. He breathed out, and drew breath back in.

What could he do? Naruto didn’t even say ‘good bye’.

`

“Naruto?” Sakura wondered in some surprise.

Said blond grinned at her from her doorway. “I said I’d stop by, sorry; I just found some time and figured I’d come see you.” He shrugged, his shoe rubbing against the concrete, an unconscious movement only Sakura had ever brought in him.

“We have a lot to catch up on, why don’t I buy you lunch? Visit the park, there’s supposed to be a fair and there’s a lot of vendors and I think a couple street performances.”

Sakura’s brow creased, and her mouth curled upward in a sad, pitying, smile. “I’m sorry Naruto, if you want to catch up, we can go for a drink sometime, we can bring some friends, I’m sure I’d like to meet them.”

“I was hoping-” Naruto started and stopped, his foot ceased its motion. He turned away, smiling, “Right. It’s okay, some other time.” He turned to go.

“I can’t date you Naruto.”

He stopped, and stood, back facing her. She was too righteous, even now; why? “You just broke up with someone? Recently?”

“Sasuke,” Sakura started and trailed off and moment choosing her words, “was the last person I was in a relationship with. I just don’t want you to be the rebound, I’d hurt you.”

“I’m a guy, Sakura, I can take the pain.” Naruto told her turning with a smile. She returned the friendly gesture her brow still creased in worry and pity. He recognized that, but he’d take whatever she was willing to give. “You broke up almost two-three months ago though.”

“Yes.” She affirmed. Green eyes glanced away, her arm hanging limply by her side, the other gripping the door, her knuckles white and shaking. Naruto gave in.

“It doesn’t have to be a date.” He told her, “Let’s just go for a walk, I think you should see the festival at the least, you should get out today, it’s nice out.”

Sakura nodded slowly and after retrieving her coat followed him out the door. They didn’t hold hands, but they walked side by side. Her arms hanging at her sides, his stuffed into his jacket pockets, to prevent his from attempting to seek her palms for his own.

“So why won’t you?”

Green eyes turned to study him. “Date me, I mean?” He wondered. He watched her lips tighten from the corner of his eye and she looked away again, across the park, the green grass, the groups of people, families; lovers. “It’d be just like Nishi huh? Still?”

“I don’t want to use you,” Sakura told him. She sighed, tire and exhaustion exemplified in every motion. “In a way I’m a lot like Sasuke. Since right now I’m hurting one of the people I actually do care about.”

“Who?”

“You.”

Naruto smiled softly, a soft light of warmth blooming in his chest, and he stepped to walk a little closer to her, though somehow his steps faltered a bit behind her own, matching the movements so they moved their legs in time. “You care about me?”

“Of course I do Naruto.” She seemed to laugh at him, the first real smile he’d seen her make in a while, her perfect angelic face turned toward him, emerald eyes bright as they looked out at him, cherry colored locks framing her face, close enough that he could smell the strawberry shampoo.

“You are one of the most important people to me in the world.” Her eyes darkening slightly at the false hope ignited in blue eyes, “Which is why I can’t use you like that.”

“How would you ‘use’ me?” he wondered.

“So you don’t know, really don’t know?” she mused turning away to look across the field. Children were casting kites to the air now, bright colored boxes and shapes and animals taking to the air, wings or no, each rising with the tide of the wind.

Blue eyes followed her across the many colored floats entering the sky. He scanned the crowd, he spotted a few people he knew, random halves of couples, a few of the women out alone, or their boyfriend getting corn dogs or snow cones as they sat to watch the kites.

One brunette woman he recognized from work, she came in a few times a month. Across the crowd he stared at her dark hair swirling the in wind, from this distance her hazel eyes looked black, and her hair was such a dark brown it was almost the same color of ebony, just like him.

But her skin was darker than his, by just a shade. But for a moment he almost could have seen his face in that distant foreign face.

The woman glanced up an cocked her head at him suddenly, and then smiled and waved across the lawn. Tentatively he raised a hand and made a quick motion to return the greeting.

Too large a motion though, Sakura glanced up and looked across at the woman and made a soft ‘hm’ to herself. Naruto frowned “What?” he wondered, hoping Sakura wouldn’t leap to conclusions or something.

“I wonder that you’re not tired of me yet.” She wondered more to herself than to Naruto it seemed, “We’ve lost contact for almost two whole years you know.”

“No.” Naruto seemed to laugh and her naivety, “My eyes are just for you.”

“Is that why you flirt with every skirt you see?”

“What?!”

“It’s not such a wild accusation,” Sakura tells him lightly, “I heard from Ino first, heard from her cousin heard from this guy Kiba you’ve been hanging out with.”

“Pretty extensive network to keep tabs on me.” Naruto grinned at her.

She smiled and shook her head, pretty pink strands falling across her cheeks. “I heard by chance,” the girl informed him.

“Listen, that’s just…” Naruto waved his hand but it fell back – he couldn’t find the right word, how he wouldn’t upset her. “Not like with you.”

She nodded and turned away, “I still love you.”

Sakura didn’t speak at the omission, she already knew.

“I still want to date you,” Naruto continued, not backing down until his request was out. “Will you? Please?”

She smiled softly, sadly; since it wasn’t a girlfriend that he wanted, she’d known that from the start; and what was worse she’d be using him as a boyfriend – her best friend, something that would quickly become unforgivable to herself. Especially when she was already took.

“I won’t use you.” She insisted, “You’re important to me Naruto, I told you that, and I can’t do that to you.”

“How many times do I have to say, ‘I don’t care’? Use me, do whatever you want to me,” Naruto insisted, stepping closer. It crossed his mind to wrap his arms around her, but he stopped as soon as he started, settling his hands on her shoulders instead, rubbing his thumbs against her in askance.

“I’d still want you. I still do.”

She shook her head, not facing him yet. The sky was so full of color now, they were a floating sea of reds and orange, blue and green, purple and pink and gold – it was a wonder so many could stay afloat on the air, so close together.

“I still love him.”

Naruto’s heart sank, “Nishi?” he wondered in shock. She shook her head, and dread filled him up until he felt full of lead and couldn’t move an inch. He already knew, but he asked anyway: “Then who?”

“Sasuke.” She admitted, her face creasing into a sad reminiscent smile, she turned to him, his hands fell to his sides. Green eyes glittered up at him, thick with regret and guilt for him; and freely revealing the depth of her emotion still burning brightly for Sasuke, and his return that would never come.

“I still love him.” She admitted, “So, see… I can’t go out with you. I’d be lying, to you and to me; it’d be worse than what he did to me in that case.”

He couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe the blind adoration she still carried beneath every inch of her skin… for ‘him’. What was worse, he couldn’t hate him for it. He liked Sasuke, he knew him, they were ‘friends’, he owed an emotional debt to Sasuke for what he did to him.

So he squashed the jealous demon that rose in response to his angel’s devotion to someone else. Sasuke wasn’t Nishi. But Naruto still envied him, for her affection, for her feeling where she carried little for him beyond friendship and pity that she could not return his feelings.

He hated those pitying eyes, that self-righteous distance she kept between them. A distance that from the moment they met was never breached in any form. They could have been seated at the same desk and they were still miles apart.

So she wouldn’t hurt him, when it would hurt less to use and abuse him as she saw fit. He would prefer that, so much more than to her respectful rejection.

But at this point, he could tell she was holding back for two reasons, for him and for Sasuke. He couldn’t understand it, after he hurt her like that, but she still loved him and it was obvious to see her. She couldn’t even see Naruto anymore, she was too full of thoughts of Sasuke.

He envied him, he hated him; but he wasn’t allowed to hate the person he’d wronged. He wasn’t allowed to hate his best friend who just forgave him. But still he couldn’t squash it, that burning blackness that circled through him.

Just knowing that Sakura wanted to person who didn’t want her love, the love she gave only to him, not Naruto, all of her, that overflowing love. The one who abused those feelings, she still wanted him and not Naruto.

They’d just become friends again, but it was impossible from the start; there were too many facts in the way. Naruto hurt him, and Sasuke had destroyed any hope Naruto could have had with Sakura. They could never be friends.

`

She sighed and bit her lip. She saw it, but it didn’t seem…

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as your imagining it to be.”

“They’re smiling. Talking.” Sasuke moaned, “they’re having a grand old time.”

“So could we. I’ll get corndogs or something.” Temari bit out finally. Sasuke’s mood swings concerning Naruto were enough to make her want to hit him again.

“I don’t know Sasuke, I really think…” Hinata chewed her lip again. It was true, they were talking and smiling, but Naruto kept looking at the ground and then whenever he looked back at Sakura it was so shy.

The way he was acting was so contradictory of the flirtatious and bold Naruto she had first met. Something was wrong with the situation; something was just off…

Was that really how lovers, or even potential lovers, behaved? Sakura was the center of his focus, something sad in her smile, something affectionate but somehow…

No it was affectionate, there was devotion, but it just didn’t seem like.

“Honestly sitting here watching the whole time, I’m not even sure they got the hots for each other.” Temari huffed. “And I want a corndog.”

“Then go get a corndog.” Sasuke muttered dejectedly. Sighed, “They’re laughing! What does he see in her?”

“Boobs. I know I like them.”

“Temari.” Hinata chided her partner gently. It was Hinata’s fault they were here, Sasuke was out had seen Naruto and Sakura and followed.

Hinata saw Sasuke and found his obsessive behavior a bit worrying so here she was supposed to be on a date with her girlfriend and instead looking after their slightly manic-depressive friend who, until recently, everyone thought was the devil in vinyl pants.

“I’m telling you,” Temari groaned in boredom, “There is no sexual tension between them. Neither of them are getting laid tonight, so can you get over it?”

“He’s getting her cotton candy?” Sasuke looked scandalized and quickly dashed off to a better vantage point.

“It’s strange, they just don’t seem like a normal couple somehow. I mean they look fine together, but it’s…” Hinata shook her head. “I don’t know what it is. But there’s something off in their interaction and behavior towards each other.”

“They’re holding hands!”

“Give it a rest Sasuke! He’s helping her down the lawn steppes.” Temari called back. Some stealth mission: in the middle of a festival din they could shout and no one would hear them and care except themselves.

Sasuke followed after them, leaving the girls who after Temari persuaded her girlfriend, she could take the day off from shepherding Sasuke, they went on a real date as the blond girl had planned earlier and had timing set back but not enough to seriously disrupt the schedule.

Sasuke stalked Sakura and Naruto until he lost them somewhere in the crowd and the worried that they’d gone somewhere private to make out, and Naruto was forgetting him and soon he wouldn’t even remember his name.

Ed thought that was crazy, but that didn’t stop Sasuke from running around until he found a stable point – namely the diner on Leaf Street.

Tsunade greeted him in some shock, “Sasuke, you don’t look so good. Have a seat, let me get you some water.”

Sasuke took a seat at the bar area, “No really, I’m fine.” I he said before downing the glass of water set before him.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Naruto met up with Sakura I hear? Same Sakura you bang-?”

“I didn’t know they knew each other! There was no way to prevent it!” Sasuke outburst, and then realized who he was talking to. “Sorry, so sorry. Should I go?”

“No, you look sick. You want some more water?”

“Please.”

“So what happened?” she asked again, setting the cool glass before Sasuke. Ed crawled out onto the counter, having enough of the roller coaster ride on Sasuke’s head and not finding his shoulders any more stable.

“He loved her, and he knows what I did to her.” Sasuke shook his head over his arms, touching his forehead to the cool surface of skin, chilled by the stone counter. “That was before I met him though! How was I to know? There’s nothing I can do!”

“Naruto still talk to you?” Tsunade wondered, pursing her lips.

“He didn’t even say goodbye last night,” Sasuke breathed, “I woke up today thinking about it… and they’re together. Right now. I saw them…”

Tsunade nodded in understanding, her heavy hand reaching out to rest on his shoulder. Naruto was a reasonable person, he’d know not to blame Sasuke for that.

Naruto wouldn’t be mad at him anymore, though Sakura’s further rejection might make him a little colder in general, he wouldn’t be mad at Sasuke.

“This hasn’t been easy you know? A few months ago, it was all so simple.”

“You weren’t happy.”

“I wasn’t in constant flux between happy and sad either.”

“Naruto won’t hold your past against you, he only acts in the present, he won’t be mad at you over that for long.” Tsunade assured him. “If you want I’ll talk to him.”

“He’s not helping though. There’s no middle ground anymore.”

“I may not agree with what you did to that girl but I don’t think Naruto will hold it against you. It was the past, I’m sure Sakura’s moved on as well.”

No she hadn’t, Sasuke knew that much. Though surely by now she must hate him, so she and Naruto could both hate him; and they’d stay together forever always hating him.

Ed was annoyed with emo-ness. In his opinion, he and Sasuke should go see the gold-head and then Ed could sit on the head and soak up it’s thoughts by sitting on those soft goldy – hopefully warm – fibers and then he’d go back to Sasuke’s head eventually and beam the thoughts into Sasuke’s head, and then they’d know what the other was thinking.

To a gecko, it was a really wonderful plan. But of course the human would never think of it!

“You would have been around when they knew each other right?” Sasuke suddenly perked up, “What can you tell me about that time? Probably high-school? Naruto would maybe be all… lovesick, and stuff?”

Tsunade straightened her back thinking a moment, “So Sakura was the owner of that red ribbon he brought home a few years ago?”

“Yes, that must be it.” Sasuke agreed, not sure what the significance of the red ribbon would be. Then the door to the shop opened and he glanced up falling out of his seat and scutting backwards around to Tsunade’s side of the counter crouching low.

“Sasuke – what do you think your-?!”

“SHH!!” Sasuke begged her. She looked up, Sakura and Naruto walking beside each other, no contact to a two-seater table nearby.

Tsunade grinned, and looked down at him. “Why don’t you go say hi? Interrupt or something?” She laughed and glanced back at them, watching. But there was something… Naruto didn’t seem, well he was-… happy. But there was something… something.

“I know I should be happy for him or something. I am, I really am,” Sasuke was muttering half to Tsunade half to himself, as if their conversation had not been interrupted. “I’m just…”

He clenched his hands over his arms.

He was just so furious! It wasn’t fair!! Naruto would be happy with her, and she’d be happy with him and they’d both be happy without him. It wasn’t right! It wasn’t fair!! It just wasn’t fair! He didn’t do anything to deserve this! He’d already paid hadn’t he?

Couldn’t the universe cut him some slack?

“I’m losing him all over again.”

`

Ed was very cold.

Ed was lost on the counter, with no Sasuke in eyesight. Thankfully this blond lady seemed to know something and tucked her into her pocket for a short wile before finally after a very long time where Ed became very bored, she found and returned him to Sasuke.

Stupid Sasuke, leaving Ed all alone!

Oh he brought him a peach! Wasn’t Sasuke the nicest human ever!

`

Naruto stared into his drink by himself. Hot chocolate, it smelled good in any case. Sakura had had to get to work a few moments ago which left him sitting alone in Tsunade’s diner, staring into his cup watching his reflection swim.

“Naruto, it’s been a while.” Tsunade greeted trotting over, and sliding into the seat previously occupied by Sakura. It was odd how well Tsunade fit there in her place. “So what’s up with the cute redhead? I’ve seen her in here before.”

“Yeah. She dated Sasuke a while back, right?” Naruto wondered. He hadn’t seen Sasuke since yesterday. They hadn’t spoken, but that was okay. Distance was the best way to end things, just grow apart.

“What’s wrong? You look upset.” Tsunade noted, and frowned, “Now you know Sasuke wasn’t the same as he is now when he was with Sakura. You know a lot has happened since then, you can’t keep blaming him for his past. He’s trying you know.”

“I know that.” Naruto stated, staring up at her. Then he laughed, a mirthless snort of air. “I love you, you know that? I loved her in high school, and I still do.”

Tsunade nodded.

“Guess what? She loves Sasuke.” Naruto downed his drink, wishing for a moment it had been alcohol when the heat burned its way down his throat. “He treated her like shit then, right? How can she still say she loves him?”

Tsunade shook her head, “Something not many understand, unless they’ve experienced it themselves. Given the way you’re treating Sasuke, I think he probably knows the feeling himself.”

“We’re not lovers.” Naruto told her pointedly, “Never were, never will be.”

“Because she loves him?”

“We were friends mom!” Naruto informed her again. “It’s just… he knows, and he just ignores her!” he shook his head, “Maybe if she talked to him they could sort it out? She’d get over him, and then me and Sakura could be together, and Sasuke and me could be friends again. Maybe.”

“I and Sakura, Sasuke and I.” Tsunade corrected blandly. Naruto glared and she grinned back at him. “You know you looked so happy before, just a few days ago even. You looked so much better than a few weeks earlier, and now you’re back to looking sickly.”

“It was because of Sasuke, am I right?”

Naruto shook his head. “Yes. And no…” He sighed and looked into his empty cup. He didn’t want to be at a diner he wanted to be at a bar. “It’s not like I don’t like him. I do like him – as a friend. But he hurt Sakura, and she still… and he- it’s just.”

He shook his head again, rubbing his temples with his thumb and forefinger. “If Sakura were dating you now,” Tsunade wondered, “Would you still be mad at him?”

“I’m not mad at him, I just… no. If she were dating me, if she wasn’t still hung up on him then…” Naruto waved it away with his hand and picked up his cup trying to get the last drop to fall from the bottom of the cup.

He didn’t want to talk about this anymore. As it was, it already confused the hell out of him.
“You were okay with him until that point. Were you happy dating him?” Tsunade wondered, wrinkling her nose at the prospect, but still had to be sure.

“No! I mean, we had fun sometimes but – it wasn’t like that!” Naruto protested, “It’s why, after, we could still be friends I think. I mean he’s cool, I like him; he’s better now since he’s not hurting people of course, but even then; he was the nicest guy and he was cool to hang with.”

“But it’s not like it was seriously, I didn’t like the weird stuff – not at all! Who would? I mean-! I’ll just shut up now.”

Tsunade nodded in understanding, and internally sat back and breathed out nice and slow. There was nothing wrong with her surrogate son being gay or bi, as oddly biased as Naruto could be towards females, that was an undeniably strange reaction concerning Sasuke.

Which of course meant that there was something.

“There’s nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual you know.” Tsunade decided to voice part of her thoughts. Naruto stared at her, and she stared back.

“I told you it wasn’t like that. I’m not-! I mean I can see how to girls he may be hot, but I’m not attracted to him!” Naruto laughed, “I wouldn’t want to be either. Not to Sasuke.”

Tsunade nodded, her lips pecking outward in that manner than said ‘I’m agreeing with you but I don’t believe you’.

“When we were ‘dating’,” Naruto told her, “It was more like a strange best-friend relationship. I liked that part.”

“And the other part?”

He liked it, even when he felt like he wanted to feel sick. Naruto shook his head, steeling his eyes to her; he knew now that she was trying to read him.

He was too late to try and cover his tracks, she already knew.

“Now… there’s no way I can forgive what he’s doing to her, because it’s hurting her even right now.”

“You’ve had your share of fuck and leave too, Naruto.” Tsunade reminded him.

“I know,” he admitted, “But I told them upfront too. That was different. I wasn’t purposely being cruel.”

“Weren’t you?”

“No.”

And that was the truth, right?

“I have to get to work.” Naruto excused himself. Tsunade watched him go and took a deep breath to steady herself.

She could hardly believe it, but there it was in front of her.

`

“You found her? Well ain’t that true love.” Jiraiya rolled his eyes, “And what happened to the piece of ass that was in here a month or so ago?”

“I told you before, just a misunderstanding.” Naruto told him.

“It’s hard to misunderstand what that bratty prick said, you know?” Jiraiya arched his eyebrow at his employee.

“I’m not dating her, not yet, I don’t know if she’ll ever say yes.”

“Sounds like she just doesn’t dig you.” Jiraiya informed him oh-so-very tactfully. “You should just get over her – two of you are like clones made by the sick twisted minds of perverse gods or something.”

Naruto took a moment to process that. “Where’d that come from?”

“Back of this new DVD – looks good!” Jiraiya whistled appreciatively, showing the half-naked girl and guy on the cover in a weird sci-fi and foresty reality of some kind. Too abstract to tell.

Naruto turned back to sorting back onto shelves, while Jiraiya bitched from his office. Closing up made him grumpy since he was ‘this’ close to watching the new shipment but he’d wait until Naruto had put all the other disks back on their shelves – etc.

“But why tie yourself down to this girl who doesn’t even want you?” Jiraiya wondered again turning back to the blond, “Have you even tried getting with other girls? If you did, you wouldn’t have these issues of needing some girl from your past t get laid.”

“Yes I have been with other girls.” Naruto returned in honesty. “So I guess it’s not as effective a cure for love as you make it out to be.”

“You’ve been with other girls? And? What was wrong with them? Really?” the old man pressed, unable to understand how youth could tie themselves to a person when he’d been alive much longer and still hadn’t found anyone he wanted to be eternally bound to.

Naruto paused to try and recall the mouths of some of the girls he’d kissed, but he had nothing to compare them to; he’d never kissed Sakura. “It was never her.” He shrugged.

It just never gave him even close to the comfortable and safe feeling he got around Sakura, it was never her; it would never be her and he couldn’t keep it when it wasn’t her.

Except him.

Well he wouldn’t think about that. He’d be off in ten minutes, and then he’d go to meet Sakura. He wound up meeting Gaara on the way, Gaara of all people.

“Gaara! Can’t believe I’ve never seen you around before.” Naruto nearly tackled him. Gaara looked back at him, kohl lined eyes looking darker than usual. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” He didn’t really look fine.

“Cool.” Naruto nodded, not bringing up that Gaara looked like he hadn’t slept in a while. “Hey, have you heard about Sakura?”

“Who?” He didn’t really look or sound curious though.

“I’ll show you, come on, you should meet her!” Naruto decided instantly, the happiness of running into a friend while on his way to see the girl he loved, just made him feel unusually lighter than normal.

“What’s so special about her?” Gaara wondered watching the candy-colored-haired girl from across the street. Her back facing them as she looked out over the river.

“Nothing really for you I guess.” Naruto shrugged, watching her peacefully. Gaara looked at him, wondering how he could be so exuberant before and now that he saw her he became so hushed and calm. “But I love her. She’s beautiful though isn’t she?”

Gaara looked back at Sakura and wondered, Sasuke didn’t get all calm and sedated around Naruto, if anything he lit up, Naruto seemed… dimmed somehow.

“I don’t get it.”

“Get what?” Naruto wondered.

“It seems a silly concept; love.”

“It’s not that silly.” Naruto protested, “You’ve never liked someone?”

“Yashamaru, my uncle, explained it to me once, I didn’t really understand it then.” Gaara shrugged, “Can’t say that my understanding has improved. Still, if it makes you happy have fun with it.”

“You think she’s pretty?”

He glanced back at her, she turned slightly from the wind so he caught a glimpse of her face. “I suppose.”

“You’re so antisocial,” Naruto sighed, “Don’t you have an opinion?”

“No, I don’t really care.” Gaara told him. Naruto arched his eyebrows at him and Gaara shook his head, elaborating to a point. “She’s a person, she has pink hair, she’s thin, she’s got regular skin tone, she has a nice smile.”

“Oh come on!” Naruto grinned, laughing in disbelief, “You can’t be serious?”

“You want me to start spouting poetry?” he wondered, completely serious. It wasn’t his fault he’d been forced to memorize a few in grade school.

His teacher was psychotic, and how he never would be able to forget Emily Dickinson’s ‘Liquor Never Brewed’, and Frost’s ‘Miles to Go Before I Sleep’. Psychotic poetry reading grade school teachers…

“No.” Naruto answered quickly, knowing instinctively that Gaara could and would start with poetry if he didn’t say that. It sort of shocked him to know that Gaara had read poetry though.
“Evil school teacher. Poetry fanatic.”

Naruto nodded. This explained everything of course. “But really, is she pretty to you? Not? Hot? What?”

Gaara looked at her again, her frame her personage, the eyes again, green and peaceful. She wasn’t an eyesore in any case.

“…She’s pretty.” Gaara told him, appeasing the part of Naruto that wanted right now, for some odd reason, to help Gaara recognize beauty in people – specifically his crush. Actually, though he may not know anything about it, it seemed an odd reaction for a crush.

“Thank you.” Naruto smiled.

“It’s not necessarily a compliment.” Gaara quipped.

“What?” Naruto looked down at the wry grin on Gaara’s face, and his eyes lit up in realization. Naruto was bright again, and his focus wasn’t on Sakura. “Hey! You made a joke! Gaara that’s so awesome! You’re coming out of your shell – I’m so proud!”

Naruto reached over towards the back of Gaara’s head. The redhead ducked the touch and he stepped away, still grinning slightly. Naruto laughed. Where others may have become offended, where this whole situation may have been awkward Naruto made it so normal.

He made Gaara not mind being around him. A while ago he’d annoyed him, but now it was okay, it was just them.

“Knock it off blondie, you’ll lose what few brain cells you have left.” Gaara warned him, his tone solemn and angry, but both seemed to know he wasn’t serious. Where others might have felt threatened or otherwise, Naruto stayed and sniggered, calling his reaction childish.

Then his eyes caught on her again, and the light flowed out of him. Gaara frowned, he didn’t like him like this. “So is she your girlfriend?” he wondered, if she was he could make an excuse to leave already. He didn’t like Naruto as much like this.

“No,” Naruto shook his head, “But give me a few days, and maybe.”

“She already rejected you.”

“Hey!” Naruto started, “How can you tell anyway?”

Gaara shook his head, and Naruto looked back towards the girl in question, “You want to meet her?”

“I’ll pass. I have some things I have to do.” Gaara lied before he started off down the street. Naruto waved after him.

“See you later.”

“See you.”

Naruto waited a moment more after Gaara disappeared around the corner and before he took his first steps towards Sakura. He wondered what he was really doing.

`

Dark eyes, raven hair, his perfect skin; she missed it, all of it. The moment she heard his message and that time on the bus, the hurt was so easy to recall, but she could also still feel him sleeping beside her, his body wrapped around her.

Silently she considered if it was possible she was slightly masochistic. She knew she should probably leave the area, of live in the outer area of the city, so she wouldn’t have to see Naruto and be reminded constantly of the whole left in her by Sasuke.

Just a kind word, a simple truth of why he did it? Why her? She knew why, but she couldn’t let go, her heart still beat just for him, and with every cruel word or blank look she felt it’s beat weaken and fade.

“Sakura!”

Then there was Naruto. He would be the most logical person for her to ever have gone out with. He was the kind of person she could trust not to hurt her, he could keep her safe and probably happy.

But she didn’t love him, not that kind of love. And since the beginning, she knew Naruto didn’t hold that kind of love for her either.

He worshipped her, he adored her, he did love her, but not in the way he thought he did. At least that was what she thought.

Perhaps she was wrong, perhaps he loved her over all others, since he would flirt boldly with them and yet with her he was so reserved, so reverent - as if attending a queen or a saint.

“Naruto, you look well.” She smiled in greeting, his happiness infectious. Then when he neared the brightness seemed to fade and he stood looking at her, calmer, sedated.

“You look beautiful.” He told her, “You always do.”
She smiled at the compliment, “You too, I like the shirt.”

“Oh it’s some band…” Naruto waved it off, not really comfortable in himself it seemed. At least to her, he couldn’t relax around her; even when they first met he always tried so hard to please her. But she wasn’t his stern mother, there was no reason for him to feel that way.

“You seem like you’re recovering, well, you know.” Naruto shrugged afraid he’d tread on some kind of intimacy he wasn’t allowed to inquire into.

“Yes, I am. I’d like to see him though.” Sakura mused to herself, knowing enough not to say his name. When she did, Naruto would get the most peculiar look on his face.

Something like anger and sadness and affection, and longing, and guilt. He looked like he wanted to be somewhere else, though she had no inkling of where that might be.

He nodded in response, looking down, away. “How is Kyuubi?”

“Same.” Naruto responded looking up, still smiling, “I think he might wake up soon.”

“You sure?” She wondered at that. “How do you know.”

“Well different fluxuations in heart beat, and such.” Naruto waved his hand, “I think he might be getting close to being conscious now.”

Sakura turned away, refusing to frown and have Naruto question her skeptism. She was in training herself to go pre-med, she as well as anyone knew that the chances of Naruto’s twin waking up were slim to none.

Naruto always was optimistic. She was glad he hadn’t lost that.

“You know, Sakura, I’d never hurt you like he did.”

She did know. Naruto was the best choice all things considered. But Sasuke…

“He hurt you, he doesn’t care, I’m sorry; I’m really sorry to say it.” Naruto broke off, “I know you already know, but still. I wouldn’t do that to you, and if he’s not going to take you back or…”
She knew. She knew it all, and still she denied him, why? It wasn’t fair to Naruto, it never would be.

“Can’t you at least give us a try?”

Why not. Sasuke hurt her. Who cared if in some small way she hurt him. She did… but maybe it was the only way to get him to notice her, so she could face him.

“Okay.”

“I mean, I lo-!” Naruto paused and stared at her. Blue eyes welling up in joy, adoration shining through, his love, his affection. “You mean it?”

“I have thought about it. And you’re right.” Sakura told him, smiling and feeling a sad weight across her chest. What she was doing, it wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. But it was probably the only way to make him notice.

His grin spread and he stepped forward, breaching the distance between them to wrap her into his arms a warm embrace. “Thank you.” A breathless whisper against her hair.

She frowned, and held him to her. She’d be able to see him soon.

---

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