Inside on the Outside
folder
Naruto › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
25
Views:
1,570
Reviews:
40
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
25
Views:
1,570
Reviews:
40
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The Lease
“Well, I would tell him one of two things. Fuck off or jack off…take your pick. Uh huh…yeah…yeah…I know! See, that’s why sometimes you just have to be a total asshole Kurenai! You’re too nice! Don’t let that dumbass pervert say that kind of shit to you. If he ever said something like that to me, I would tell him where to go.” Anko was having a most colorful conversation with Kurenai. Kakashi was having an equal amount of fun listening to her advice for Kurenai on how to handle Jiraiya’s sexual comments. Anko hadn’t been to her apartment for more than 30 minutes in the past three days. She had camped out at Kakashi’s, only going home long enough to get clothes or raid her porn collection. Kurenai could hear Kakashi laughing in the background.
“Yes, that’s Kakashi, he’s laughing at my advice.” Anko said to Kurenai. “Yes he thinks it’s humorous that Jiraiya makes comments about how he’d love to suck your rack. Yes, he also thinks it’s funny that Asuma’s too much of a pussy to stand up against him and protect you. See that’s why you need me. Unlike Asuma I have balls!” Anko said. She had dove into a bowl of pretzel sticks. She was lying across Kakashi’s lap trying to protect Kurenai via telephone and trying to avoid choking on pretzel sticks.
“Yeah, well Shizune is on my bitch list for a long time now. I don’t care what Jiraiya says to her.” It was funny to hear only Anko’s side of the conversation. “Here, Kakashi wants to laugh at you and the fact that Jiraiya wants to violate you.” Anko handed the phone Kakashi who was laughing so much he couldn’t hold an intelligent conversation with Kurenai. Kakashi motioned for Anko to take the phone back but she wouldn’t.
“Here, you want to give Kurenai all the advice so start talking.” Anko said with playful spite. Anko talked to Kurenai for another 10 minutes. She hung up and flung the phone to the end of the couch.
“Okay, what happens if that rings again and it’s way down there and you and I are way up here?’ Kakashi asked.
“Then, we’ll both be too damn lazy to answer it and we’ll let it ring and if it’s someone calling with something important, then they’ll call back.” Anko had a solution for everything. Kakashi laid down on the couch and Anko stretched out in front of him. She was still protecting her bowl of pretzels. “What would you do if I ate this entire bowl?” Anko asked.
“I wouldn’t really care if you did.” Kakashi said.
“Okay, well I just might do that.”
“When is the lease up on your apartment?” Kakashi wondered.
“It’s up in October.” Anko answered.
“You should move in with me when your lease is up.” Anko turned around and looked at him.
“Are you serious?” Anko fluttered her eyes.
“Of course I’m serious.” Kakashi reassured her. Anko couldn’t help but smile all over.
“I’m a girl you know. I’ll put girl stuff in your bathroom; I’ll hang girl clothes in your closet. I’ll have adorable note pads by your phone with inspirational phrases on them…okay you know I’m lying about that last one right?” Anko said a completely serious look on her face. Kakashi laughed.
“Yes I know, you’re note pads say things like ‘Burn in Hell Bastard’ and ‘Shut the Fuck Up Iruka’.” Anko thought about this a moment.
“Hmmm...you’re right! My note pads do say stuff like that.”
“So really, what do you think? Will you move in with me when your lease is up?” Kakashi dug his fingers into her blackish purplish hair.
“I will. I can do that.” Anko smiled. “Besides, between my porn collection and your porn collection…it would rival even Jiraiya’s. But there is one thing. I have an ass load of furniture; what am I going to do with it?” Kakashi thought a moment.
“Well, you could try to sell it. We can see what we can use here and you can try to sell the rest and what you can’t sell we drop off at Gai’s and make him do something with it.” Kakashi said.
“I like that…making others deal with my crap…you know Kurenai’s furniture sucks ass she may want some of it.” Anko was still working on the pretzels.
“What all do you have anyway?” Kakashi questioned her.
“A coffee table…thing. A giant entertainment center, two cabinets with glass front doors, a wine rack, a dresser, a stupid looking chest thing…I should so give that to Iruka…it’s so ugly he’d like it. I have a portable island thing…” Kakashi cut her off.
“Wait…a what?”
“I don’t know what you call it. It’s this thing that you keep in the kitchen, it stands alone so it looks like an island, you put dishes and other shit in it and you push it around.” Anko said, pissed that this useless piece of furniture sat in the middle of her kitchen.
“What? You push dishes around in it?” Kakashi was already laughing at her.
“I don’t know! It’s a retarded cart thing! It has a flat top that you can use as a cutting board! I hate the damn thing! It sits and my kitchen and I cut crap up on it! My mom got it for me.” Anko whined.
“So what, does your mom hate you because it sounds like she buys you useless stuff.” Kakashi said still laughing at Anko’s description of her furniture.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to plan as the lease to my apartment draws closer. We’ll figure out what to do with the stuff we don’t want here.” Anko decided to put her pretzels aside. It was settled, Anko would move in with Kakashi in October. She was indeed writing a chapter of her life that she never thought would be written: the commitment chapter.
“Yes, that’s Kakashi, he’s laughing at my advice.” Anko said to Kurenai. “Yes he thinks it’s humorous that Jiraiya makes comments about how he’d love to suck your rack. Yes, he also thinks it’s funny that Asuma’s too much of a pussy to stand up against him and protect you. See that’s why you need me. Unlike Asuma I have balls!” Anko said. She had dove into a bowl of pretzel sticks. She was lying across Kakashi’s lap trying to protect Kurenai via telephone and trying to avoid choking on pretzel sticks.
“Yeah, well Shizune is on my bitch list for a long time now. I don’t care what Jiraiya says to her.” It was funny to hear only Anko’s side of the conversation. “Here, Kakashi wants to laugh at you and the fact that Jiraiya wants to violate you.” Anko handed the phone Kakashi who was laughing so much he couldn’t hold an intelligent conversation with Kurenai. Kakashi motioned for Anko to take the phone back but she wouldn’t.
“Here, you want to give Kurenai all the advice so start talking.” Anko said with playful spite. Anko talked to Kurenai for another 10 minutes. She hung up and flung the phone to the end of the couch.
“Okay, what happens if that rings again and it’s way down there and you and I are way up here?’ Kakashi asked.
“Then, we’ll both be too damn lazy to answer it and we’ll let it ring and if it’s someone calling with something important, then they’ll call back.” Anko had a solution for everything. Kakashi laid down on the couch and Anko stretched out in front of him. She was still protecting her bowl of pretzels. “What would you do if I ate this entire bowl?” Anko asked.
“I wouldn’t really care if you did.” Kakashi said.
“Okay, well I just might do that.”
“When is the lease up on your apartment?” Kakashi wondered.
“It’s up in October.” Anko answered.
“You should move in with me when your lease is up.” Anko turned around and looked at him.
“Are you serious?” Anko fluttered her eyes.
“Of course I’m serious.” Kakashi reassured her. Anko couldn’t help but smile all over.
“I’m a girl you know. I’ll put girl stuff in your bathroom; I’ll hang girl clothes in your closet. I’ll have adorable note pads by your phone with inspirational phrases on them…okay you know I’m lying about that last one right?” Anko said a completely serious look on her face. Kakashi laughed.
“Yes I know, you’re note pads say things like ‘Burn in Hell Bastard’ and ‘Shut the Fuck Up Iruka’.” Anko thought about this a moment.
“Hmmm...you’re right! My note pads do say stuff like that.”
“So really, what do you think? Will you move in with me when your lease is up?” Kakashi dug his fingers into her blackish purplish hair.
“I will. I can do that.” Anko smiled. “Besides, between my porn collection and your porn collection…it would rival even Jiraiya’s. But there is one thing. I have an ass load of furniture; what am I going to do with it?” Kakashi thought a moment.
“Well, you could try to sell it. We can see what we can use here and you can try to sell the rest and what you can’t sell we drop off at Gai’s and make him do something with it.” Kakashi said.
“I like that…making others deal with my crap…you know Kurenai’s furniture sucks ass she may want some of it.” Anko was still working on the pretzels.
“What all do you have anyway?” Kakashi questioned her.
“A coffee table…thing. A giant entertainment center, two cabinets with glass front doors, a wine rack, a dresser, a stupid looking chest thing…I should so give that to Iruka…it’s so ugly he’d like it. I have a portable island thing…” Kakashi cut her off.
“Wait…a what?”
“I don’t know what you call it. It’s this thing that you keep in the kitchen, it stands alone so it looks like an island, you put dishes and other shit in it and you push it around.” Anko said, pissed that this useless piece of furniture sat in the middle of her kitchen.
“What? You push dishes around in it?” Kakashi was already laughing at her.
“I don’t know! It’s a retarded cart thing! It has a flat top that you can use as a cutting board! I hate the damn thing! It sits and my kitchen and I cut crap up on it! My mom got it for me.” Anko whined.
“So what, does your mom hate you because it sounds like she buys you useless stuff.” Kakashi said still laughing at Anko’s description of her furniture.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to plan as the lease to my apartment draws closer. We’ll figure out what to do with the stuff we don’t want here.” Anko decided to put her pretzels aside. It was settled, Anko would move in with Kakashi in October. She was indeed writing a chapter of her life that she never thought would be written: the commitment chapter.