A Troublesome Series of Events

This chapter was so much fun to do. >D

Tellnoone_Noonetells: Well, most of the reason why Sasuke got off easily then was because she wasn't expecting it. And if you think about how most of the (faceless) ninja will be treating him (not sure if we'll really write that out, but...) added with that he will have to recount everything he went through with Orochimaru over the past 3+ years... That would be hard for Sasuke. Plus the fact that he won't be able to go higher than genin for a long time... Yeah. ANYWAY. Glad you still like it. [:

Thank you everyone else for the reviews! LOVEEE.

Also, Luney plays Kiba in addition to the norm.

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“Oh my god! SASUKE!” She squealed, a mixture of emotions running through her veins. She was remembering all she’d felt for the boy as children, all she’d seen Sakura go through from him, and what he was currently rumored to be doing with Shikamaru. How it was she could be so close to him through friends, yet so far away she didn’t know.

Shikamaru shrugged on the shirt as quickly as he could, wincing and covering an ear at Ino’s cry. He’d always wondered how her vocal cords held up all the time. Probably a female thing.

“Do you have to be so loud?” he griped, scowling.

“It’s not every day someone like Sasuke waltzes back into our village Shikamaru!” Ino snapped back, not taking her eyes off of said Uchiha. Sasuke refrained from wincing; only hoping his pretty face would distract her from glancing downward.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and muttered, “Troublesome woman.” He wiggled his pinky finger in his ear, trying to get it to stop ringing.

Ino rounded on the boy, her long imbedded need to argue with him winning out on gawking at Sasuke.

“Troublesome! You kept it secret from the whole village that Sasuke had come back!” She said, stepping forward and poking him in the chest with a slight huff. Sasuke was almost happy about Ino’s annoying habits. It was curing his problem nicely.

Shikamaru’s scowl deepened a little and he idly swatted at her hand. He leaned back, supporting himself on his arms.

“Because I’m sure if he just announced he was back to everyone at once it would go over so well,” he said sarcastically.

“But you kept it from your friends as well!” Ino said, poking him again.

Sasuke, moving as quietly as he could to be behind her, raised his brow. She expected Shikamaru to tell her such big news when she clearly loved gossip? He hardly knew the girl and he still could tell that.

Shikamaru heaved a sigh. “Ino, I didn’t keep anything from anyone. If you had come over earlier, you would have seen him; Hinata did,” he pointed out, purposefully not saying anything about Naruto.

“Besides,” he continued, “have you ever seen me make an effort to help you spread gossip? Or start some?”

Ino stuck her bottom lip out in a petulant pout. She crossed her arms, tilting her hips to one side as she scrutinized Shikamaru, designing a new plan of attack.

“Yes, Hinata did see me.” Sasuke interjected, just wanting Ino to leave. He didn’t have anything to look forward to now that both he and Shikamaru were limp, but maybe it was time to just relax and not have sex? ...It didn’t sound as appealing as others said it was. “Was she the one who told you?”

“I doubt it,” Shikamaru said before Ino could say anything. He yawned, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. “Hinata said she wouldn’t tell anyone and she’s not the type to break promises. The Hokage gathered everyone for an announcement, right?”

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders, ignoring the girl as she swung around to face him.

“Well, it could have been bullied out of her or something…” He said. Ino’s eyes narrowed at him with that one, but Sasuke went on just as she opened her mouth to retort. “And I don’t know. She only said ‘within the hour every ninja in Konoha will know of this’, not that she’d actually call a meeting.”

“She didn’t call a meeting, she told some Jonin about it and they went around telling others. I heard it from my dad who heard it from Chouji’s dad, who heard it from -”

“I guess that was a better idea than one big meeting. Less people will barge in at one time.” Sasuke interrupted, looking at Shikamaru.

“I suppose,” he said, giving a shrug. “I’d be worried about the information becoming distorted that way, though.”

Shikamaru turned his gaze back onto Ino again, eyebrow raised. “What did you hear anyway?”

“I heard that Sasuke had come back to Konoha because he found out Shikamaru was pregnant and he wants to raise the child as his own and won’t be reviving his clan anymore and has given up on taking his revenge or anything else out of some kind of love for you.” She rattled off immediately, her eyes widening with an almost starry quality at the thought.

Sasuke’s eyes widened at the information she’d received, looking at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru’s eye twitched a little and he rubbed at the bridge of his nose. At least it wasn’t too far off, he reasoned.

“Troublesome,” he said, sighing again and letting his hand rest back on the floor. He looked at Sasuke and asked, “Do you want to explain?”

“Not really.” Sasuke said. He moved to sit down on the couch they’d abandoned long ago, crossing his legs again and putting his hands in his lap. He leaned back, sighing. When would they be left alone?

“What? What? What’s the real story then?” Ino demanded, eyes sparkling with curiosity and annoyance at being out of the loop.

Shikamaru scowled again and shifted to make himself more comfortable on the floor, still not wanting to get up yet.

“He’s staying because I might be having his kid,” he started, not caring that the whole pregnancy story hadn’t been told to her. It would be too troublesome to start way back there anyway. “But he didn’t know about it when he came here. I don’t think he’s given up finding Itachi, just postponing it.”

He glanced at Sasuke for confirmation. “The rest of it, I can’t say is true or not.”

Sasuke’s eyes shifted away from Shikamaru, not sure if he meant the reviving clan part or the bit about love. One of those he was willing to answer, but the other…

Luckily, Ino was too shocked by the new information to question his love for her teammate.

“Pregnant with Sasuke’s kid?! You’re pregnant with Sasuke’s kid?!? How, what?!!” She demanded, eyes widened. She hadn’t thought that part was true when she heard the story! This means that Sasuke, her precious Sasuke-kun, was gay! And Shikamaru was the one he was gay for!

Again, he wondered how she could scream so loud without any strain on her voice.

“Maybe,” he restated. “The Hokage isn’t sure if it’s his, Orochimaru’s or Kabuto’s. And I hope you know how.” He smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you kunoichi’s get the big sex talk?”

Ino flushed at Shikamaru’s words, lifting her hand and lunging, punching him in the arm.

“Maybe I meant how he could stand having sex with you! You probably are lazy in bed and said troublesome if you had to do anything!” She screeched out, voice higher than normal with embarrassment. Sasuke resisted the temptation to cover his ears.

Shikamaru rubbed his arm, holding back his laughter. He made a show of rolling his eyes and said, “I haven’t heard him complain once.” He hoped talking enough about it would drive her out of his place. For tonight at least.

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke allowed himself a low chuckle. No, no complaints at all. Except maybe how they kept getting interrupted all the time lately. He was glad they hadn’t been caught in the act this time at least.

Ino flushed, punching his arm again on reflex.

“Shikamaru, what happened to relationships being so troublesome?” She said hotly, still embarrassed. Of all people, she hadn’t expected Shikamaru to have sex before her.

Wishing that every female he knew wasn’t so violent, Shikamaru shrugged. “They still are,” he said. “But I suppose it’s not as troublesome as being alone.”

Ino threw up her hands, shaking her head. “Honestly, of all the luck! You finally decide to have a sex drive and end up landing the last Uchiha!” She exclaimed, envy coloring her voice.

Sasuke remained quite still, not wanting to draw her attention. He was hoping Shikamaru could drive her away before she became bored with talking to him, and switched her gaze onto himself.

Shikamaru frowned a little. Really, he knew how much she pined after the Uchiha before, but…

“Tch,” he muttered, putting on his normal bored expression. “It’s not like I went out looking for anyone.”

“Troublesome, troublesome, troublesome!” Ino mocked back, wagging a finger at him. Before she could say anything more, the door burst open without much defense. Apparently Ino hadn’t locked it again after her own bout of breaking and entering. Not that it would have matter much, with who it was that came barreling in.

“Shikamaru! I heard Sasuke was back and living with you as your bitch!” Kiba called out, the hugely grown Akamaru bounding in faster than his master. The dog paused, growling softly at Sasuke but sensing no threat. He then turned, spying Shikamaru and Ino. He lolled his tongue out, running across the expanse of floor in moments, lapping and slobbering over Ino’s face before she could recoil.

“Ew, Kiba, restrain your mutt!” She yelled, pushing at his thick furred neck. Akamaru ignored her, only relenting when he spotted Shikamaru again. He dropped down, rushing forward to lavish the teen with sloppy love.

Shikamaru couldn’t help but laugh at Kiba’s entrance, despite that he didn’t want any more company. He brought a hand up to scratch at Akamaru’s ear, smirking. “I’m glad you can’t ask me any questions,” he muttered.

“So is it true? Does the Uchiha really bend over for you?” Kiba asked excitedly, not bothering to call his dog off. Ino could deal with some dog spit on her face; it was cleaner then what came out of her own mouth.

“Sasuke would never do that!” Ino retaliated before Sasuke had finished opening his mouth to snap some hot retort at the dog boy. Kiba raised a brow at her, smirking devilishly.

“I’m so sure. He’s a total pansy; I can totally see Shikamaru topping him.” Sasuke’s eyes narrowed, legs uncrossing from where he sat. Akamaru growled affectionately at Shikamaru, nuzzling his cheek with his nose, not caring what the humans were arguing about this time. The dog could smell the musky scent of sex on the Nara anyway, and if he wanted he could follow it to confirm which way the human preferred. If he’d cared.

Shikamaru snorted, closing his eyes and shrugging. “Although I’m sure it would be amusing to see Sasuke have a conniption on my couch, I have to say it’s really none of your business what our sex life is like, Kiba.” His smirk widened, letting them draw their own conclusions from his wording; and whether they ended up right or wrong wasn’t his problem.

Akamaru took the opportunity of Shikamaru’s distraction to lick him full frontal on the lips and across the undersides of his nose. Kiba was roaring with laughter, both from the lick attack and the answer he’d gotten.

“Heh, Shikamaru, that’s great!” He snickered out, loving the pissed off look on Sasuke’s face as well as the disgusted look from Ino. The girl was priceless when confronted with ‘gross’ things. “I bet you guys switch it up.” He added, partly believing it and partly to goad Ino.

“They do not switch you animal!” And it worked. He was left snickering like mad, even as Ino gave him the same treatment she’d given Shikamaru by punching him in the arm.

Shikamaru opened his eyes again and wiped off the slobber, muttering something about deer not making buckets of saliva. But then he just pet the nin-dog again and leaned against him to get more comfortable. He glanced over at Sasuke, raising an eyebrow. Was he really that sensitive about it?

“Pft, they totally switch it up Ino. You know, it’s the quiet one’s that have all the hidden kinks and the insatiable sex drive.” He informed her. She flowered, punching him again in the arm. He only laughed harder.

“Kiba, just, ugh! I’m leaving!” She said, no longer comfortable at all with the topic. She turned to Shikamaru, waving offhand at him, turning to Sasuke and doing the same. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to deal with him any longer!”

Shikamaru just grunted softly, raising a hand in a small wave. He wasn’t going to make an effort to acknowledge her when she had just barged in. At least she was leaving now and hopefully no one else would show up. He dreaded his mom’s reaction to all this.

“So, Shikamaru, straight up no joke. You’re the one delivering in this relationship, right?” Kiba asked once she was out of earshot. Akamaru whined softly at his master’s blunt persistence, lying down behind Shikamaru.

“Why are you so curious, Kiba?” Sasuke asked hotly. He didn’t like the thought of people around town talking about such topics as ‘is Sasuke pansy enough to take it up the ass?’ “People might start wondering if you were into us.”

“Well, no lying on my part, I’d do you both. But I top.” Kiba said shamelessly, plopping down beside the irate Uchiha. His dog snuffled again, anxious that his master was courting danger so thoroughly today.

“There aren’t many you wouldn’t do, Kiba,” Shikamaru said, smirk growing again. He absently started scratching Akamaru again. “But if it’ll get you to shut up about it, no I don’t.”

Kiba grinned at Shikamaru, laughing as Sasuke scowled at his little boyfriend. Apparently their sex life was private to the Uchiha. Nice.

“True, very true. But you’ve never wanted to top? To feel how tight your boyfriend here is? ‘Cause you know he’s got to be.” Kiba elaborated, pointing his thumb at Sasuke as he referred to him. The pale boy looked ready to kill.

“Too much work,” he simply said with a shrug, giving the excuse most expected from him. It really didn’t matter to him, he still got release and if the Uchiha didn’t want to bottom so be it. He ignored Sasuke’s reactions, confidant that he wouldn’t do anything stupid this soon.

“Awww, Shikamaru you prude! You know there are tons of positions where you can be ‘top’ and not have to do anything. Like, if you were on your back and Uchiha got up to ride -” He was cut off by Akamaru barking at him, followed by a low whining noise. He cocked his head, listening before nodding. “Alright boy, I’ll lay off of them for now…” Kiba said reluctantly.

Sasuke crossed his arms and turned his head away, sulking.

“Is that all you came to ask, Kiba?” Shikamaru said after sighing. “Because it’s getting late and we kind of wanted to rest.”

Kiba sniffed, smirking down at the boy from where he sat.

“Resting wasn’t what you were up to.” He said devilishly. Akamaru barked in agreement, lapping at whatever skin on Shikamaru was closest to him. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the two.

“Regardless of what we were doing, we want to rest now.”

“And I suggest you leave soon if you don’t want to be kicked out. And I mean literally,” he said, giving a smirk of his own. “Why don’t you go bug your own teammates instead?”

“Come on; do you really think Hinata’s anything more than a virgin? And Shino, hell, I don’t even know if he’s straight or not!” Kiba complained. Akamaru whined in agreement.

“Leave.” Kiba turned to the now glowering Uchiha, unable to keep the smile off his face. The Uchiha sure did want his alone time. He snickered out loud, entertaining himself with thoughts of what they might be doing later. If only they were into fuck buddies, they could have some wild nights together.

“Alright, alright, me and Akamaru get the picture! Come on boy.” Kiba said, a grin still in place as he stood up.

Shikamaru sat up again so he wouldn’t fall over when Akamaru got up. As much as he wanted to be laying down that wouldn’t be the best way to do that.

“Don’t go spreading the information you just got around, Kiba,” he said then added. “I can’t guarantee you’ll be in good health if you do.”

Kiba’s grin twitched just a little at Shikamaru’s words.

“Which part? The fact that you take Uchiha cock or that you two have been getting it on like rabbits?” He asked with mock sincerity about his question.

“Any of it,” Shikamaru said, rolling his eyes. “Not everyone is like you—bragging about who they have sex with.”

“You’re both no fun at all.” Kiba said, laughing despite this. Akamaru trotted over, nuzzling his hand, wanting to get petted. Kiba looked down, petting his dog before looking up and seeing Sasuke’s glare.

“Alright, I’ll go now since I’m so unwanted.” He said, rolling his eyes and heading for the door without further prodding. He wouldn’t tell people that it was a fact, but he could still help spread rumors.

After all, what he was going to spread wasn’t as bad as what was already going around.

Shikamaru laid back down on the floor, bringing an arm up briefly to wave goodbye to the other boy. After Kiba had closed the door, he turned onto his side and looked at Sasuke.

“I hope you know he’s not really going to keep it to himself,” he said, lips twitching as he tried to keep his face neutral.

Sasuke sighed, nodding slightly from where he sat on the couch.

“I know. I’m just hoping he doesn’t tell people to come and visit us…” Sasuke trailed off, glancing at the door in earnest. He would like to actually have some alone time that wasn’t interrupted before the good part.

Shikamaru let out a snort, turning his gaze back to the ceiling. “If you really want, you can set traps or alarms around the doors and windows. Never really cared for them myself, but…” he trailed off, giving a shrug.

“And after that,” he continued, a grin forming. “you can carry me over to the bed so I can relax better.”

Sasuke snorted, standing up and stretching. He felt slightly cheated, having gotten close to coming so many times it seemed without actually getting off. It was almost enough to make him ask Shikamaru if he would mind him masturbating, considering he wouldn’t be able to hide the act from the other.

“There’s really no point to it. The only ones who will be coming over are ninja’s, and the stupid ones already came over today. That leaves the one’s that would get by them.”

“Still, you usually don’t have to be that cautious in your own village so an alarm here or there won’t be noticed too often,” he said, waiting for the Uchiha to pick him up.

Sasuke nodded in agreement, walking over to the boy still on the ground. He bent, sliding his hands under him and lifting. He was surprised by his light weight.

“Were you this light back at Orochimaru’s?” He asked, not sure of it himself. He’d been concentrating more on making sure the boy wasn’t raped more than necessary at the time.

Shikamaru shrugged before slipping an arm over Sasuke’s shoulder for better balance. “Not sure. I know I had lost a little weight when I got back to Konoha, but since then I’ve eaten normally.”

“You’re probably just too lazy to eat all you need.” Sasuke said, stepping into the bedroom. He smirked down at Shikamaru, moving to the side of it and dumping him onto the soft landing seemingly without much care.

Shikamaru grunted softly as he bounced a little on the bed. He rolled his eyes at the Uchiha but didn’t comment just making himself comfortable.

“It wouldn’t matter if I was, with half the village’s ninja forcing food down my throat daily,” he said.

Sasuke paused, about to climb onto the bed. Reaching down, he undid the pants and slipped them down, removing his shirt afterward. He would have pulled his borrowed boxers off as well, preferring to sleep in the nude, but with how many people were coming by…

“True, but don’t people normally lose weight during pregnancy? Before the baby starts showing I mean.” Sasuke said, crawling onto the bed beside the Nara. He reached out, pulling him close as he’d done the last time they’d gone to bed, what seemed like forever ago.

Shikamaru shook his head before comfortably settling against the other. “Not really. In the first trimester you don’t gain weight—mostly from not wanting to eat after puking—but the baby itself gives the extra weight you’d lose normally.”

Sasuke sighed, enjoying being able to just lay still and hold Shikamaru to him. He got caught up in his hormones a lot, and forgot how nice this was.

“Mmm.” He didn’t bother to comment further on the subject, not really caring anymore. There was an entire village willing to take care of Shikamaru; if he’d lost any weight he shouldn’t have he’d gain it back within days.

Shikamaru snorted and just closed his eyes, giving a small yawn. He was sure no one could really see it, but he had been getting tired more often than usual. It had always been more for show, so he wouldn’t be asked to do anything, but now he was actually tired.

Sasuke nuzzled into the tired teen’s neck, relaxing bit by bit. It took him a while to completely relax, and even then it wasn’t fully.

A knock rang throughout the apartment, sharp and clear as the voice that followed it.

“Shikamaru, Sasuke, I know you’re both in there. Open the door or I will be forced to open it myself.”