Bitch Nights

A/N: ZOMGWTFBBQ!?!?!? An update?!? Dina's not DEAD?!? That's right, folks. I'm stuck livin' at my mama's without Internet, and suddenly my muses get bored and come a-knockin'. I couldn't believe it myself. There's actually more to this, but it's not typed yet and I figured I might as well post the part that IS done now, since I never know when I'll get a chance at the Internet again. It's weird, but now that I don't have it myself, I keep doing things, like fanart and fanfiction, that requires me to be online to share it with others.

Murphy's Law SUCKS.

On the plus side, I just now signed up for internet, so, barring issues in installation, I'll have it back up by Friday

I'll grant you, this isn't a long update, but I assure you, there's all sorts of love involved in it. And while I'm here: LEANNA! IN FRONT OF GOD AND ALL MY FANS, I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU!!! And Wolfie, Feion and Aini. I promise, I'll get my phone turned back on when I can.

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Bitch Nights-Chapter 14

Sasuke's audience wasn't immediately granted. There were showers to be had, and Naruto's only (barely) fit two at once, and of course the first two that ended up in there ended up taking a ridiculous amount of time and using all the hot water. That left the next two utterly pissed at having to take a cold shower, and the Uchiha, who was forced to go last, even more irritated, because all the clean towels were gone by then.

However, eventually Team Kakashi was fully dressed and sprawled out on and around the couch-fighting off sleep. Naruto, smug and sated from sharing the first shower with Sakura, purred, "All right, Bastard. What's on your mind?"

Sasuke snarled from the opposite wall, where he was trying to use one of the less-soaked towels to dry his hair. "Right now? Roasting your ass and using the blaze to dry off."

Kakashi rolled his visible eye, "Thank god, you're using sentences. I was afraid we'd be here all day trying to translate broody stares."

"Hn."

"Ah, I stand corrected."

"All right, guys," Sakura cut in, "I don't know about you, but yesterday was long, and I haven't slept yet. Can we just listen to what he has to say?"

Naruto shrugged, "Fair enough." He waved his hand imperiously, "Continue, teme."

There was some grumbling, but finally, they all ranged around the table again, getting comfortable-but not too comfortable, lest they actually succumb to exhaustion-before Team Kakashi was solemn and waiting for the once again unreadable Uchiha to get the ball rolling.

And waiting.

And waiting. The guy seemed at a loss for how to begin. Finally, Kakashi leaned forward from his seat on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. In a deceptively bored tone, he asked, "Does this have anything to do with the attack yesterday?"

Sasuke looked slightly chastened at the reminder. "No. Well, maybe. That was most likely a last ditch attempt to get my body back for use as Orochimaru's next vessel. I . . . attempted to kill him before I left, but I knew before too long that he had survived. I had thought he would immediately use one of his backup vessels again, but perhaps he was even more determined to have the Sharingan than I’d thought.”

“So you tried to kill him and failed?” Sai’s voice held a thread of contempt.

If possible, Sasuke stiffened even further. “That is part of the implication when I said ‘attempt’”

“So in short, yes.”

“Fuck off, you son of a-”

“Don’t talk to Sai like that!” snapped Naruto.

Sasuke bristled and looked like he might say something back, but he caught the looks in the others’ eyes and visibly forced himself to relax. Taking a deep breath, he went on, “In any case, what I have to tell you concerns the reason I came here.”

Sakura couldn’t stop her snort of derision. “I just knew that ‘I wanted to come home’ line was a crock.”

Sasuke’s mouth pressed into a thin line before his next words. “That . . . wasn’t a complete lie, but it’s not the entire reason I returned.” He seemed at a loss for what to say next.

Kakashi stood abruptly. “Hang on.” He disappeared into the kitchen and returned with their last bottle of sake in one hand, the other readjusting his mask, betraying that he’d already partaken of it. He handed the sake to Sakura, who quickly took a quick drink, recognizing the game. She passed it to Sai, who gave her a little salute with it before swallowing his portion, followed by Naruto, who took a double to compensate for his metabolism.

Sasuke regarded the bottle with something approaching disgust and apprehension. “Didn’t we just do this last night?”

Sakura snickered as she and Kakashi shifted to sit on the couch together, “Sasuke-kun, we’ve been having these little bitch sessions for a while, now. We all have problems opening up about our issues, especially Kakashi and Sai. Trust me, if Kakashi thinks a round of shots will help, they will. He’s all about repression.”

“Hey!” Kakashi muttered, nudging her good naturedly.

Sasuke cast her another dubious look, but he brought the bottle to his lips for a drink. Then, after a moment of consideration, made it a double.

“All right, ease up there, lightweight. We want you to relax, not get stupid.”

Sasuke licked his lips as he set the sake down. “If we’re avoiding stupidity, perhaps you should abstain altogether, usuratonkachi?”

“Bastard,” Naruto replied without heat, just a sort of weariness. “All right, I’d tell you to start from the beginning, but I have an inexplicable yet undeniable fear of flashback scenes. Just tell us what made you decide to split from Orochimaru. Preferably without any angsting 'woe-is-me' soliloquies. We’ve heard enough of those.”

Sasuke wasted another glare on the blonde, then took a deep breath. “Konoha’s been investigating Akatsuki for years, now. What do you know about their member, Tobi?”

Sai fielded this one, “The public files have only his name, physical description-what we know, anyway, since no one’s seen under his mask-and that he seems completely immune to all attacks. It also mentions that he uses eye techniques. Current orders are to avoid combat and retreat on sighting. He usually doesn’t pursue, though his partner, Deidara, often will.”

“You said the public records. What else is there?”

Sai looked at Kakashi for permission, then replied, “Those who have been in contact with Tobi, plus the Hokage and her ANBU, are aware that he has a Sharingan eye. Whether this is truly his or a trophy from a slain Uchiha, we don’t know. My masst-erk-” Sai stumbled to a stop as his tongue grew suddenly uncooperative. Cringing a little, he borrowed the sake bottle for a drink, hoping to get some feeling back into his mouth.

Sakura saw the confused look on Sasuke’s face. “His master, Danzou, has a jutsu on all of his followers, so that they cannot speak of him or his intentions in an outsider’s presence.”

Sasuke’s gaze became sharp and suspicious, “Outsiders as in not from Konoha?”

Kakashi shook his head, “Outsiders as in not from his little group of personally trained ANBU root soldiers.” His tone let them know just how not happy he was with that implication as he gave Sasuke a quick rundown on what Root was, and about Danzou. “We’ve checked, and there’s nothing we can do about any of it.” Yet, he left unsaid. “However, as an elder, he has been kept up to date on all the current information on Akatsuki, and probably even has his own people performing investigations.”

Suddenly, the older man was leaning forward, expression very intent. “Now, what do you know about Tobi?” When Sasuke was silent, he prodded, “He’s an Uchiha, isn’t he. That’s why he can use the Sharingan without the massive chakra drain I experience.”

There was a moment while the entire room held its collective breath.

Slowly, Sasuke nodded. “A few weeks before I left, I was traveling with Orochimaru and his entourage. Tobi . . . found us. May have been looking for us, I don’t know. I was alone when he showed up, and he revealed his identity to me as Uchiha . . . Madara.”

There was some significant eye action between Sasuke and Kakashi now, the latter beginning to look slightly horrified at the revelation.

Naruto looked blankly over at Sakura, “Huh?”

Sakura rolled her eyes a little, but answered, “Madara was made Uchiha clan leader, but that was decades ago, Sasuke! He must have been lying! Remember the Valley of the End?”

The look of incredulous ‘did she just really ask that?’ expressions on the boys’ faces was priceless.

Oops. She flushed. “Okay, stupid question.”

“I’ll say.”

“Shut up! The point is, Naruto, that those statues depict Uchiha Madara and the First Hokage at the place of their epic battle in the year-”

“Whoa, whoa! Time out!” Naruto cut in, waving his hands. “It’s me you’re talking to, Sakura-chan. Information in small doses, please. Basically, you’re saying it couldn’t be Madara because he’d be too old?”

“Try dead, Naruto. The First was Tsunade’s grandfather.”

“Holy shit, that’s like older than water!“

“I’ll thank you to stop making fun of my master, Naruto, unless you want me to tell her just how old you think she is?”

“Eep!”

Sasuke sighed in irritation, “In any case, that’s who he claimed to be. And he had the Mangekyou. And . . . he . . .” The raven suddenly looked slightly ill. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell you all that he claimed, but he . . . he claimed that he helped Itachi murder my clan.”

You could have heard a pin drop on the tatami.

“There’s other things, but . . . I . . . I need to see my brother. Not necessarily to kill him, but . . .” Sasuke took a deep, slightly shaky breath. “I need to talk to him. I need to convince him to talk to me, to tell me the truth. If what Tobi told me is what really happened . . . there are things I need to know before I make any decisions regarding that.”

After a space of heartbeats, Sai asked, “Is there not a very good chance that he was lying?”

Sasuke stood abruptly and started pacing, “I don’t know! That’s part of the problem. Part of it makes sense-genius though Itachi was back then, could he have truly taken on the entire clan? There were plenty of shinobi and ninja-class policemen, all with various levels of the Sharingan. Every Uchiha, even if they chose the life of a civilian, received basic training until they could, at minimum, activate their Sharingan and perform simple fire jutsu, and that training included self-defense.”

“Even a regular Sharingan could be rendered helpless by the Mangekyou. I was, and I‘m considered an elite, even among the shinobi,” Kakashi reasoned.

“Yes, but when Itachi . . . that night, when he trapped me in his illusion, he showed me . . . I had to watch as he slaughtered them all like sheep. They were helpless, they didn’t fight back. Even against the Mangekyou, with that many opponents, someone should have fought back. And it’s not even like he killed them in the dead of night, either. He made his way through the entire complex in the afternoon, while I was staying late at the academy. Reports filed say that the clan gates closed about an hour before I came home, and nothing was heard from the complex until . . . someone smelled the blood, I think.”

“The Inuzakas,” Kakashi supplied. “Their clan's fairly close by yours and their ninken caught the scent when the wind changed that night. You were found unconscious.”

One of Sasuke’s hands twitched. “Since Tobi, I’ve remembered more about that night. I remember that when I last saw my brother, he was crying. I remember attacking him, and my Sharingan activating for the first time. Then, not against Haku. And . . . I remember that his armor was clean when I saw him.”

That caught their attention.

“No blood at all?“ Sakura asked, leaning forward.

“None.”

“That’s damn near impossible in close combat,” muttered Kakashi, looking distinctly troubled. “And . . . Itachi killing that many people so quietly during daylight with no indication to the outside of what’s going on . . . it would make more sense for there to have been an accomplice.”

“So all this made you decide to completely drop whatever plan you had with Orochimaru?” Naruto asked skeptically.

Sasuke sat back down. “That wasn’t all of it. By the time I’d been with Orochimaru a few months, I’d had a fairly infallible plan. On our travels, just the three of us, I’d met some of his followers that would have been useful to me once I killed him. I’d intended to kill him just before he could force me to become his vessel.” His eyes snapped up, the full Uchiha Death Glare threatening to incinerate Naruto where he sat. “But you had to interfere. You forced Orochimaru into a weakened enough state that he was forced to transfer prematurely into a different vessel, but you also left me too incapacitated to take advantage of it!”

There was an awkward silence where the four of them absorbed that statement with varied amounts of embarrassment and chagrin.

Naruto let out a nervous chuckle and scratched the back of his head. “Um, whoops?”

The Uchiha rolled his eyes, “And after that, we started taking more of his people with us-he’d recognized that the only thing that had saved him was the fact that you attacked near one of his strongholds, and we’d had reinforcements. He was almost never alone, and those moments had been rare enough before. And the longer time went on, the less he trained me. I’d already surpassed his teachings by then. This also meant that I was no longer as much in his favor-I wasn’t privy to the same information. Kabuto was thrilled, of course, the little cocksucker-” He stopped, looking slightly horrified. He cast a considering glance at the sake. “Damn, but that stuff really works, doesn’t it.”

“Tried and tested on all of us,” Kakashi nodded.

“Sooo . . .” Sakura cringed a little at the faintly hopeful tone in her voice, “If we-and Tobi-hadn’t interfered, you would have come back home anyway, right?”

“. . . No.”

Naruto flinched like he’d been struck. “After you’d had your revenge, then?”

“. . . . . . . . I . . . don’t think so.”

The blond gaped, “Are you serious? You left so you could kill your brother! Why would you stay away after you’d accomplished that?”

Silence. Sasuke grabbed the bottle for another long pull. Grimacing from the slight burn, he finally replied, “Aside from forming the team to find him, and making up about a dozen ways to fight and kill him, I didn’t really plan much for what would happen after.”

Sai spoke this time, his tone of dawning comprehension, “You didn’t think there would be an after. You thought he would kill you.”

“Not an unreasonable conclusion, is it? Part of my team was selected to make sure that someone could finish off what was left of Itachi after I’d hopefully weakened him.” His shoulders slumped, hair spikes drooping a bit as though in defeat. “I’m not entirely sure what to do now that you all and Ma-Tobi-have changed the game. Without Orochimaru dead, I can’t secure the cooperation of the others. Everyone in Sound and in league with him knows of my betrayal by now. I’d made another plan, but . . .”

“But?” Sakura prompted.

“Consider this. All these years, Orochimaru and I have been searching for Itachi. In turn, Itachi and his partner have been searching for Naruto. And Naruto-and the rest of you-had been searching for me until recently. An endless circle. My hope was that if I turned my course and found you guys, that you would help me by finding-or perhaps simply letting Itachi find us.”

Naruto’s fist pounded into the table, his eyes turning red with anger. “So you just figured you could use us like that, use me like bait?”

“We’ve offered you our help. Several times,” Sakura pointed out coolly. “You’ve told us every single time that not only is it unneeded, but unwanted.”

Sasuke was on his feet again, fists clenched, face showing enough fury that the others unconsciously started inching towards the nearest potential weapon. “Gods dammit, Sakura, I’m sorry! I’m fucking sorry! I fucked up a lot, I know this, and you’ve all made it more than clear! There’s nothing else I can say, and I know it doesn’t fix anything, but you know what? Maybe I did some of that fucking up for you, for our team, did you ever think of that?”

Kakashi had a firm hand on the back of Sakura’s neck, keeping her from standing as Sai was holding on to Naruto. “Sasuke.” Their sensei’s voice was full of warning.

“Don’t you get it?” the raven shouted, oblivious, “I thought Itachi had single-handedly killed my entire family! Family. Saying ‘clan’ just doesn’t get across what happened. Every person, from the eldest to the babies-that’s not just ‘the clan,’ that’s Mom and Father, my Uncle Ojiiro and Aunt Miyabi, my cousins Ichiro, Hanahi, Mitsume, Hayaru, and even the new baby, Rinatsu, and dozens, dozens of others! People I’d known and loved all my life, and I had to watch them die, over and over again through my brother’s Mangekyou.” He stopped and took a heavy breath, oblivious to the tears beginning to run down his face, “And whether he truly had help or not, he tortured me. And he gained the Mangekyou by killing our cousin, Shisui. Whatever happened, he’s not totally innocent.

“And he made me into the family’s Avenger, and I was fine with that, until you three came along. I didn’t want you, any of you. I had my goals, and you were only going to stand in the way. And you did, by distracting me, by making me . . . want things I knew I couldn’t have.”

Kakashi snorted, “What, like friends? I watched you turn from a self-destructive machine into what could pass as a human being.” His gaze grew gentle, “Sasuke, I told you before. You can’t just shut yourself off from other people. If you do nothing but dwell on the past and those you’ve lost and never allow yourself to form new-”

“Gee, sound like a very familiar story, sensei,” Sasuke interrupted nastily.

Sakura caught her breath at that-she hadn’t really thought about the incredible parallels between Kakashi and Sasuke.

Kakashi, for his part, didn’t falter, “Yes, it is. And after I lost my family, my sensei was right there, refusing to let me do to myself what others let happen to you. I don’t know what the hell the Sandaime was thinking, allowing you to live on your own, in that place, but if I could go back, I’d have taken you in myself if necessary. My sensei took me in, and I was the better for it. He forced me to keep going when I would have given up. He put me on a team to make sure I bonded with them, and we did . . . eventually. Perhaps a little late, in Obito‘s case, but-”

“And then what happened? They all died, and you were left alone. Maybe I didn’t feel like letting history repeat itself.”

“I wasn’t all alone, Sasuke. Even in as much pain as I was, I still had people to fall back on. And now I have even more.” This was punctuated with a squeeze of Sakura’s hand. She grinned at him, knowing that he wasn’t so much thinking of their recent ‘upgrade’ in Team K, but more about the times he’d dragged them out to get to know his age group better-particularly Genma and Raidou, Izumo and Kotetsu, and even Anko, Kurenai and Iruka-sensei. They’d returned the favor by bombarding him with visits with the others from the Rookie Nine and Team Gai. And best of were the times all of them got together, two generations of Konoha’s finest.

Sasuke snorted, “Yeah, but having those friends didn’t make the others any less dead. About the time I really started to think that maybe I could give up on finding Itachi, he shows up and hands you your ass on a plate. Then he goes after my best friend. He fucking escaped Jiraiya!“ He shook his head, voice full of bitter self-loathing, “And I couldn’t protect any of you any better than I could have protected my family before. At least with Orochimaru, I wouldn‘t care if he killed them.”

Sakura felt a pang of guilt at that, for how utterly useless she’d been back then. Against all the things they’d faced in that time, she’d only fallen further behind, and, had Tsunade not taken her as an apprentice, Sakura didn’t doubt that she would have eventually given up the ninja life altogether.

Naruto was mulling things over at his corner of the table. Sai, still close by, seemed fascinated by the entire exchange.

The Kyuubi container finally lifted his head and peered up at the Uchiha, whose rage seemed to have mostly passed, instead replaced by the all-too-familiar aura of broodiness. “Even accepting that you left to save us-”

“In part,” Sakura reminded.

Naruto nodded, “In part. But even so, it’s just a bit asshole-ish for you to assume that we’d spend forever waiting for you. We gave everything we had into getting you back, until finally we had to stop, just to try and have something for ourselves. Why keep chasing you and trying to force you into something you didn’t want?” His voice sounded defeated by the end, and Sai, in a rare moment of perception, moved closer to slide an arm around Naruto’s waist.

Sasuke cringed a little at this, and Sai just looked back with an inscrutable look in his eyes. “Sasuke-kun, as loathe as I am to offer you any sort of comfort, I feel I should point out that while they may have stopped chasing you, they never forgot you.”

The other snorted, slowly lowering himself back to the floor.

“It’s true,” Kakashi said quietly. “We checked every week with Tsunade to see if there’d been any news.”

“Hell, every time we left the village on a mission, we kept our eyes open in case we saw you,” added Naruto.

Sakura laughed, “Hell, you already know about me convincing the guys to buy in on the Uchiha District. And we fully intend to have it restored to its glory.”

Seeming to consider this, Sasuke glanced over at Sai, a question in his eyes.

Naruto caught it, “We’ve told you and told you, teme. He’s not your replacement. He may have taken your place on our team, but you each have separate places in our hearts.” He chuckled a little, “Though to be fair, I hated him at first, too. He kinda . . . grows on you. Like a fungus.”

Sai brightened, “Naruto-kun, that’s too kind . . . wait, what? A fungus?!”

And so the Bitch Night ended with laughter.

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A/N: And on my parting note, I want to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you. And not just those that reviewed, fave'd or voted, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. From the multi-reviewers down to the people who have read this a zillion times and not yet given me a word of praise, I LOVE YOU GUYS. I love my fangirls and my lurkers, and even to my sister, who's never read this, yet knows more about the plot and characters than anyone because she's my soundboard and test subject for the non-porny stuff. And a thanks to whichever of my friends(for some reason I can't remember which one), who told me I should go to my next Con with a "I am Blackwidina" shirt on the one-in-a-million chance that someone knows who I am and cares. I get a giggle every time I try to imagine it.