A Caring brother

This is NOT Beta-read and English is not my native language so please bare with me. The two betas I have are mia and loa atm. I have the tendency to run long sentences here and there but please try not to mind that! I try my best when my muse hits me so please be gentle when it comes to grammar and sentence issues :p


___________________
CHAPTER XIV
___________________

Kankuro had awakened quite early the next morning and once he realized he was still in Gaara’s bed, the anxiety had struck him of what he had done. He’d now been making breakfast for two hours and made both laundry and dishes twice but it still didn’t stop his mind from bashing himself. What man in his own sane world had sex with his little brother!?

“Fuck!”

He cursed again and started over with the laundry once more and stuffed the machine full of sheets, pillow cases and other bed stuff and flicked the machine on. How could he ever look Gaara in the eyes again once the guy realized what he’d done? Kankuro had to say he was sorry and ask Gaara never to tell and to forget what happened, this was a mistake and a big one at that.
Breakfast, yes, breakfast’s good. Must make more breakfast.


Gaara slowly turned around in bed and rolled over onto the other pillow next to him. It was cold and someone was missing. Had everything been a dream last night? Or was it real? He opened his eyes slowly and looked around in the dim room without moving. The rays of the sun outside made a small streak of light through the curtains and revealed that the room was a bit dustier than it usually appeared since the dust particles in the air showed with ease in the ray of sunlight.

He turned around again and slowly sat up with a slight groan when he felt the soreness in his behind. No, what happened last night must have been real, not to mention that Kankuro’s hood was still on the floor, only in another location and with white stains on it but if the pain wasn’t proof enough, the hood was.

“nh…”

Gaara rubbed his morning hair that stood on all ends and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. The cover moved with him but not enough to cover his naked body that’d had its first sexual experience only hours before. What time was it anyway? He blinked a few times and looked around and located a wrist watch Temari had given him on a birthday, a gift he’d never really worn and usually forgot on the night stand.
Lunch. It was lunch time, at least if you were Gaara and usually didn’t sleep at all. 10 am. Gaara turned and looked at the pillow that still had the shape of Kankuro’s head on it then turned towards the closed door and wondered if his brother was home at all or not since everything was so quiet.

Gaara stretched a little then rose and allowed the sheets to fall free from his body before he walked towards his drawer and picked out some new underwear and clothing before he went to the shower to freshen up. Memories from the night before playing in his head, mostly the conversation that had occurred before the actual act had happened. Kankuro had been a bit on the nervous side but Gaara didn’t really understand why. If two people liked each other and made the other feel good, why would it not be allowed? He kept on pondering this while he dried his hair with the towel from the rack, then put the clothes on and headed out of his room.

What met him was the sweet smell of freshly baked scones, pancakes and a slight smell of coffee in there somewhere as well. A light frown appeared on his face while he followed the smell, hearing Kankuro moving around somewhere close by but not yet in view. Could Kankuro even bake? Approaching the kitchen he saw his brother move from the laundry room to the kitchen again and it made Gaara tilt his head while he silently made his way there, his stomach rumbling due to the smell of food that he hadn’t quite eaten in several days of laying on his bed doing nothing while his siblings worried about him.

Gaara looked around the doorway to see Kankuro taking plates from the already made dishes just to re-wash them again which made him wonder why he cleaned plates that were already clean as well as he wondered why Kankuro seemed to be so round up about something.

Then, his eyes fell on the table. Pankakes for an entire party, baked scones for an army, Coffee to keep said army up for at least three days, cookies that Gaara had never even seen Temari bake. The list went on and Gaara’s unseen surprise with it.

“Are we expecting company I do not know of?”

Gaara asked, earning a yelp from Kankuro who hadn’t noticed that Gaara was even standing there. He turned around with a haunted look fumbling for words with an embarrassed look on his face.

“aah…eh.. Hey..umh.. Gaara! Eh..n-no… no company heh.. just felt… uh… no reason…just.. wanted to bake..”

Yeah, real swell Kankuro, a warrior that’s a guy, playing with puppets wanting to bake freely like a housewife, for no reason? Like Gaara’d buy that. In turn, Gaara looked very suspicious to what Kankuro said then looked at the over-made table, made his usual “hn” then went to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup before he walked to the table and sat down on his usual spot, pulled the chair out and sat down the way he usually did. He took a drink from the cup then looked up at Kankuro who hadn’t moved from the spot he was at by the already made dishes, still staring at his little brother.

“Are you going to join me?”

“oh.. oh, sure heh..”

Kankuro looked a bit embarrassed again with that fake smile of his and Gaara frowned at it while he took a piece of scones from one of the plates and took a bite from it. Why was Kankuro behaving so strangely? Then it hit him, it must have been what they had done last night. He finished chewing and just as Kankuro sat down he looked straight at him.

“Kankuro, did you not like what we did last night?”

“wh…eh.. no.. uh.. I mean, yes.. yes! I did.. but… umh… we…hm.. well, we shouldn’t have…uh… done it…”

“Why not?”

Kankuro sighed.

“Because… I told you Gaara, we’re brothers… brothers shouldn’t do that… not with each other.”

“Says who?”

“…the law.”

“I am the law, Kankuro”

Gaara watched his brother squirm when he clearly didn’t manage to explain things to his little brother the right way.

“I mean… society frowns upon it, it’s not right for two siblings to share the same bed as we did last night”

“But.. you helped me”

Gaara stated and took another drink of the coffee in front of him then another bite of scones while Kankuro seemed to think that the table was quite interesting to look at and it seemed one specific spot must be very dirty since he kept rubbing his sleeve on it over and over.

“You may see it like that, and I might see it like that… but Gaara… it’s wrong…”

Kankuro slowly looked up to meet his brother’s eyes with his own pain filled ones.

“Gaara… what we did was incest, it’s wrong on all the worst places…”

“But, we both wanted to, how can it be wrong then?”

The Kazekage asked and tilted his head somewhat to the left while studying Kankuro and his stressed behavior that not even the cat would be able to miss if they’d had one.

“It’s not like that Gaara…”

“Then, you didn’t like it. You didn’t like being with me.”

Gaara stated and put what was left of the scones down on the plate again from holding it while he spoke, looked at Kankuro with one of those looks that struck you right in the heart when you saw he shut himself down emotionally, then rose from the table.

“Gaara, Gaara wait! It’s not like that! Wait!”

“hn… you lie.”

The Kazekage left his brother alone in the kitchen and exactly where he went, Kankuro wasn’t sure of since he ended up with his elbows on the table and his hands covering his eyes and forehead as he sighed deeply. How was it that he managed to finally get so close to Gaara, and then fell right off the grid again?

“God damn it all!”

Kankuro cursed himself then tossed the towel he had been drying the plates with on the table. The boys remained on different parts of the house for the rest of the day even though Kankuro wasn’t even sure that Gaara was in the house more than the fact he could sense his chackra at least being close by.

When the night fell and Kankuro had been in agony ever since breakfast even during his shift, his co-workers had of course wondered what was going on since he seemed unusually quiet but he had just waved it off as a head ache. When he came home again the food on the table was still untouched, no one had been there to open the bags or plastic covers that kept it fresh and with that, Kankuro sighed. So they were back to not eating again were they?

He took some muffins he’d made earlier and made some tea and placed it all on a tray after leaving his scrolls in his room. No need to have his puppets with him now when he wasn’t working and he was certainly not going to use them on Gaara. Kankuro walked with the tray to brother’s room only to find the door slightly open but out of respect he knocked on it before he gently pushed it open just to see the most stunning sight he’d ever seen before.

Gaara sat in the open window looking at the moon while a soft breeze were playing with his hair and allowed his clothes to occasionally tighten over his chest when it flew by. He swallowed and began to slowly walk inside even when Gaara didn’t make a sound or a movement to acknowledge his approach.

“Gaara… you need to eat.”

A snort in return and a sideway glance before those beautiful light green eyes returned to the nearly full moon outside. Kankuro sighed and walked up to the desk beside his brother and placed the tray there and took a muffin from the plate and held it up towards Gaara.

“You need to eat, brother.”

“You don’t need to feed me, I’m not a child.”

“I know you’re not, but if you don’t eat your stomach will hurt eventually…”

“Fits well with my chest then”

Kankuro sighed and placed the muffin on the plate again and looked at his brother with eyes filled of pain while the agony inside hurt like hell and he knew he deserved every bit of it too. He leaned on the wall to be able to face Gaara a bit better and let his left hand hold his right elbow in a movement of insecurity.

“Look, Gaara… I didn’t mean to hurt you this morning..”

“But you did.”

Gaara said with a cold calm voice.

“I know, I know… and... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, it’s just… If someone would find out what we did…”

“If that is what you are afraid of, no one needs to know.”

Kankuro found himself staring at Gaara who was staring at the moon. Was he just implying he wanted this again? That he was ok with this? Was he implying that they would have a secret incest relationship? Kankuro’s mind raced and the confusion and agony rose like a wave of water ready to hit the chore once it got high enough, crushing what was left of Kankuro’s sanity.

“uh.. umh… well, what if someone sees us? Even walls have eyes Gaara… This is wrong in so many ways no matter what hearts feel.”

With this, Gaara turned to look at him with eyes that were examining him very closely.

“You say your heart feels? Does it feel good things? … because my heart is in pain.”

A deep red strand of hair fell into Gaara’s face from the wind just as he returned to look at the moon and shut his feelings down as good as he could. Kankuro’s heart melted even though he tried to make it un-melted again but didn’t quite succeed. He slowly reached for the strand of hair.

“Gaara…”

“Don’t. Not unless you mean it.”

Kankuro stopped in his motion when Gaara turned his face away from him and he sighed and let his hand fall again. What did he mean by his actions? At the same time he did realize that Gaara didn’t stop him with the sand like he usually did, just by his words and that was bad enough.