Fading Scars

This is an Alternate Universe fic set perhaps a day or two after Orochimaru’s retreat from Konoha. A lot of liberties were taken from that point on in terms of time-line. This is also a very angsty (especially Naruto) and sexually graphic fic—just the way we like it!

This was written as a one-on-one RP, so the point of view of the story will change, usually with every paragraph. Scenes will also change abruptly and large periods of time will pass with little notice, though I’ll try to give some warning at the beginning of the chapter.

// = thoughts
* = emphasis

Please read and enjoy!

Fading Scars
Chapter Fifteen:

Gaara stretched his shoulders slightly as he watched another dull sun rise over the horizon. He wasn't sure anymore how long he had been out here, lost somewhere in the unclaimed territory between Fire and Wind. He didn't sleep except for shallow dozes at high noon. He didn't eat except for what Temari fed him. He wasn't even sure if he was really conscious for most of it, watching each day come in and out, trying to understand...what had happened to him. Who was it, that had changed him like this. Why he couldn't remember how he used to be.

Gaara glanced down through the branches. Temari was still asleep, curled up against the base of the tree. There was a puddle of boar's blood several yards away she wouldn't notice until she awoke. It had come through the woods during the night after her scent, and for some reason he had taken its limb. It had run off trailing blood, and he didn't really care if it had survived. He was too busy wondering...why he had bothered. What difference it would have made, had the creature gored his sister to death in her sleep.

When Temari woke it was all at once, the scent of blood heavy in the air. She sat up to find the puddle of blood nearby, her eyes widening. "Gaara?" Temari jumped to her feet, looking around for the boy anxiously. If he had been hurt.... "Gaara, where are you?"

Gaara didn't answer at first, letting her look around for him. At last he shifted. "Here," he called, only loud enough. He settled back against the tree that had been his vantage point for the last three days.

Relieved, Temari jumped up to join him. //God, he...keeps getting more and more pale....// She pulled the last of her bread rolls from her pouch, urging her brother to take one. //I'll have to go find a town soon, to replenish. If only we dared take him with us....// "How are you feeling?" she asked softly.

"Feeling?" She asked that too often. And Gaara still hadn't figured out what she meant. "I'm not." He accepted the roll, nibbling on it without interest. "It was a boar," he told her, as if she had been wondering.

She nodded. "I see.... Thank you." Temari sat and ate her own breakfast. It…was getting difficult, taking care of him. Gaara's apathy was something she wasn't used to and didn't know how to deal with, and Kankuro was even more confused than she was. But something needed to change, and soon.

Lee dropped abruptly out of the trees, his attention drawn by the body of a large boar. By the look if it couldn't have been dead longer than a few hours--bleed to death, due to a missing front leg and shoulder. As he inspected it more closely, he found bits of sand forced into the wound.

"Naruto!" After over a week of travel, it was their first large clue, and it made his heart pound. "I found something!"

Naruto landed beside him, looking over the animal. "It has to be him, right?" he asked, touching a bit of the sand--it made his skin tingle faintly. He lifted his head to scan the trail of blood winding off into the woods. "We must be close."

"Yeah..." Lee gulped. //Though why didn't he just…crush the whole thing…? Guy-sensei, wish us luck.// With a deep breath he followed the path of blood, Naruto just beside him.

Gaara had finished only about half of his roll when he detected a familiar chakra coming towards them. His eyes widened as the bread dropped, forgotten, from his hand. //Something's coming. Something--// He pressed a hand to the gourd at his side, drawing a torrent of sand abruptly out to strike the opening of their small clearing.

Naruto leapt back, startled as the ground before them seemed to explode. He grabbed Lee's arm as they ducked into hiding. //It's him. But....// "Let me go first," he whispered. "But if doesn't look like it's working...." He chuckled worriedly. "Back me up?"

Temari jumped to her feet and pulled her fan, staring into the undergrowth. "Who is it?" she asked Gaara quietly. "Did you see?"

"It's *him*," Gaara hissed, a tremor running through him. Something in him ached, and he pressed a hand to his chest, trying to make it stop. "It's him..."

Lee tried to peek through the undergrowth, but he could see little more than two pairs of shoes. "There's two of them," he warned. "Be careful, Naruto-kun."

"I will," he assured with a grin. "Just keep the other from sneaking up on me." Taking a deep breath, he slipped off, trying to get away from Lee before revealing himself. //Please, please let this work.//

Naruto took to the trees, bringing himself onto a thick branch just even with Gaara and Temari. He crouched in a defensive position. "Hi there," he called, making sure they could see his empty hands. "Been looking for you."

"What do you want?" Temari replied, her tone warning as she shifted her grip on her fan.

"Just to talk," Naruto assured, eyes on Gaara. "I wanted to meet you again."

"I don't want to talk to you," Gaara hissed, though there was a note of desperation in his tone. He drew closer to the tree. "I don't want to see you--I don't like you."

Naruto smirked a bit at that. "Well, you're not exactly my favorite at the moment either," he muttered before slowly straightening. "I'm not here to fight. I'm actually here...to ask you for help."

Temari moved protectively in front of her brother, glaring. "What the hell are you talking about?"

//Help…?// Gaara pushed slowly up onto his knees as he glared at the boy. "I tried to kill you," he reminded Naruto in a low voice. His hand trembled against the tree trunk. "Your...your village...."

Naruto nodded cautiously. "But you wouldn't have been there if not for Orochimaru, right? It's not like you had anything against us." His fingers curled. "He killed your Kazekage, right? And our Hokage. He'll come back to finish my village, to finish us, and I'd bet anything he'll be after you guys next."

Temari faltered. //So...he really did kill Father....// She glanced hesitantly at Gaara over her shoulder.

"Kazekage...?" Gaara was finding it difficult to focus on any of what Naruto was saying at the moment. Slowly, it came to him that he was talking about their father. //He's dead. He's really--he's dead--//

Gaara clutched at his head as a sudden pain struck through him. Shaking and whimpering, his balance abruptly failed, and he dropped heavily off his branch perch.

Lee gasped; having snuck closer to the tree while Naruto spoke he darted out of hiding, and was just fast enough to catch the boy before he hit the ground.

Naruto leapt down shortly after, knowing he wouldn't make it in time, though he sighed with relief when he saw Lee had managed to save him. "Gaara!" He hurried over to the pair.

Temari followed, though she was slightly slower than Naruto. She stood back as the pair urged Gaara onto his side, Lee supporting his head. //I...don't understand. That boy....//

Gaara groaned softly, still gripping his scalp. By then he was aware that it wasn't just Naruto--there was another familiar pair of eyes watching him. He cried out sharply as he jerked away. "Not you," he gasped, trying to claw free. "Go away!"

Lee leaned back, but he wasn't fast enough--a clot of sand caught him in the chest and threw him back. He gasped, a thrill of fear running up his spine, but the sand didn't pursue him after that. He stared in confusion from several feet away as it quickly dissipated and dropped to the ground.

"Gaara, stop!" Naruto quickly moved closer, taking a gentle but firm hold of the boy's shoulder. "We're not going to hurt you!" //He's scared of Lee.// It was a strange thought, but...that's what it seemed like.

"Go away!" Gaara cried again. He curled in on himself, as slowly the sand began to creep up around him. But with Naruto so close it was closing him in as well, forming a thin cocoon around them both.

"Naruto-kun!" Lee ran back, but by then it had already closed them in. He pressed ineffectively against the shield of sand. "Damnit...!"

Naruto froze, holding very still, but the sand didn't come any closer. He couldn't see anything, and the only sounds were Gaara's soft whimpers and his own breathing. //He's like a little kid,// he thought, fingers curling in the fabric of Gaara's shoulder. He licked his lips. "Gaara," he said softly, shifting a bit closer. "Calm down a moment, okay? No one's gonna hurt you."

"No one *can* hurt me," Gaara whispered in the dark. He clutched at his chest as gradually his breath grew even. "I'm fine...I'm not hurt. Because...no one can...." He felt his hand scrape against the scar on his chest, and he sobbed quietly, drawing his knees in.

//Gaara....// Naruto sighed. //But you can be hurt.// He tried to think, wondering what Iruka would have done in that situation. Steeling himself, Naruto slipped closer, gently lifting Gaara so he could support his head and shoulders. "There are other kinds of hurts, you know," he murmured, lifting a hand. He hesitated, then gently ran his fingers over the other's thin hair.

Gaara shivered. //Is he touching me? Is that him? He's touching me?// "Other hurts...." He gulped, and the words came to him so easily they might as well have been his own. "Pain in your heart that medicine can't heal. That...might never go away."

Naruto's eyes widened, though it didn't help him see any better. "I know," he whispered. "Hurts until...you can barely breathe. Until you want to scream." He continued to run his hand through Gaara's hair, encouraged when he wasn't rejected. "I told you I understood," he went on. "There isn't anything that hurts more...than being alone."

Gaara choked quietly. "Why?" he breathed. He pressed the back of his wrist against his face, but by now he was too weak to keep the few tears from sliding free. "Why are you doing this? Leave me...leave me alone..."

"I can't," he pointed out lightly. //I'm kinda trapped.// "But I wouldn't want to anyway." Naruto listened for a long moment, feeling his own chest begin to ache. //I remember crying like this....// "I'm doing it...because I know how painful it is, and I don't want someone to feel the same if I can help them." He pulled Gaara a little higher, just so he could better cradle him against his chest. "It's okay to cry, you know."

"I don't want to," Gaara replied petulantly, but it was too late for that--he was already crying, tasting salt and sand seeping into the corners of his mouth. Rather than try to cover his face he gripped Naruto's sleeve. "Aren't you...." He swallowed hard. "...scared of me?"

Naruto held him closer. "Well, I certainly don't want to fight you again," he replied. "But like I said back in the hospital, you're not the only one with a monster in you. So I could ask the same thing." He tilted his head, even if the other couldn't see him. "Are you scared of me?"

"Yes," Gaara confessed, his breath coming shallowly. "You...and that boy...." He sagged weakly against Naruto's knees. "You make me strange."

//Are you sure you weren't strange to begin with?// He kept that thought to himself, rubbing at Gaara's back--or at least what he could reach around the gourd. "Because we understand what it's like, fighting to be seen, heard...acknowledged. Lee knows that very well."

//It's not that.// Gaara grimaced in the dark. //It's that…he has….// His fingers tightened, almost painfully, around Naruto's wrist. "Could...do you think someone could maybe...someday...love me?"

Naruto's eyes widened. //Love....// He pulled Gaara closer. "Of course," he replied honestly. "It might take a while, but yeah." Naruto dared to brush at the boy's cheek. "Maybe you should start smaller, though, like with friends. That's as far as I've gotten for now, but...." He smiled wistfully. "It'd be nice, to have someone love me."

"Friends...?" Gaara's hand relaxed around Naruto's wrist, and slowly, the sand surrounding them began to crumble away. "You really have that? Even though you...."

Blinking in the light, Naruto grinned. He lifted his head to find Lee and Temari watching them anxiously. "It's okay," he assured quickly before turning his attention back to Gaara. "Yeah, I've got friends. Lee's my friend now, since the exams, even though we didn't like each other all that much in the beginning."

"Gaara...." Temari stepped back, wrapping her arms around herself as she watched her brother. She...had never seen him like that, clinging to someone so desperately....

Lee stepped unconsciously closer to Temari as he watched the pair of them. Gaara suddenly seemed so small...it was hard to imagine what he had been like in the tournament. He gulped. //He really is just a kid, like all of us.//

"Lee...was that his name?" Gaara glanced up at the boy, and cringed, drawing back against Naruto. "I don't want to be Lee's friend," he whispered, shivering again. Just thinking of him, how carefully his teacher and friends had cared for him...it made something in him burn. "He doesn't understand."

"Because he was lucky to have a teacher to support him," Naruto explained. "I asked his teacher to take me, and he agreed." He held Gaara firmly, hoping he was doing the right thing. "But we need three people in order to be a proper group, right? So...we've been looking for one more to be our comrade."

"You...." Gaara wasn't sure what to make of that. He tried to imagine it. Tried to think of what it would mean, having a teacher like...that. Having friends cheer for him. Having a pair of arms around him.

"No." Gaara pulled suddenly away from him, pushing clumsily up onto his knees. "No, I don't want to." //I'm scared.// The sand began to creep up around him again, this time keeping Naruto out. "I don't trust you!"

Naruto reached forward before the sand could get too high, catching Gaara's shoulders. "Wait, Gaara! Please! Running away isn't going to make the hurting stop!"

"Why would it stop?" Gaara hollered back, trying to pry the hands from his shoulders. He didn't have the strength to get very far. "How can it? How could anyone--they hate me! I hate them!"

//No, that's not true.// Naruto pulled Gaara forward, ignoring the sand that pawed at his arms and back as he wrapped the boy up against his chest. "I don't hate you," he said over him, holding him tightly. //This is what's right. What I always needed....// He hugged Gaara closer. "I don't hate you, Gaara."

Gaara froze, as did the sand. All at once he realized what was happening; Naruto was holding him. He couldn't remember ever being held like this, not even by Yashamaru…. "You...." He sagged slightly against Naruto's chest. "...don't?"

"No," Naruto replied with conviction. He sighed with relief as Gaara began to relax. //This is the right thing--this is what he needs.// He curled protectively over the boy. "I don't hate you, and I'm not scared."

Temari turned away, suddenly ashamed. //We never did that. We...could never tell him that, because we were scared. I....//

Gaara's sand fell to the ground with a quiet swish--a moment later his gourd dissolved as well, dropping over his backs and legs. With his fists curling in the back of Naruto's jacket he sobbed hoarsely against his shoulder. He was shaking, barely able to breathe...

Lee's shoulder's dropped heavily. //Is…that it?// He sighed with relief, dropping onto his knees as the tension drained out of him. //Naruto-kun, you really did it.//

With the gourd gone, Naruto was able to properly embrace the boy, holding him close and tight as he cried. "It's okay," he assured softly, same as he'd seen parents doing for their children.

At last the rest of Gaara's strength ran out, his cries fading to a quiet sniffle as he leaned against Naruto's chest. He kept his eyes closed as he gradually drew his breath under control. //I'm tired.// He sighed as he pressed his face into Naruto's thick collar and at last fell silent.

Lee gulped. Now that Gaara seemed to be quiet, he crawled forward slowly--only a foot. "Naruto-kun...?"

He raised his head, smiling weakly. "Lee...I think it's all right." Naruto tried to glance at Gaara, but from their angles he couldn't see anything. He touched the back of his head gently, looking back to Lee. "Is he...asleep?" he asked quietly, feeling a faint trill of fear.

"I...can't tell." Lee crawled over to them, marveling at the boy's shaken state. Licking his lips, he reached to touch Gaara's back--he flinched, but quickly settled again. "He's shivering."

//Yeah, I can feel it.// He turned to Temari. "How bad would it be," he asked, "If he fell asleep?"

She turned back, watching Gaara with thin eyes. "I...don't know. I've never seen him really sleep."

Naruto sighed. "That doesn't help us much, but...." Figuring there was nothing else to do, he tried to settle himself a little better without disturbing Gaara. "Lee, do you think we can risk staying out here for a while? Until he's ready."

Lee glanced around. "There...is the blood," he reasoned. "But any animals would probably follow it to the boar before us. Do you want me to be look out?"

"If you don't mind," he said gratefully. "He'll need to rest a bit after crying like that--it wears you out." Naruto rubbed the boy's back a moment, hopefully to reassure him. "We'll give him no more than an hour, though, and…we'll see what he says." //If he'll come with us.//

Temari stepped forward suddenly. "You really want to take him back?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly. "You want to make him...a Leaf ninja?"

Lee sat back on his heels, taking it upon himself to explain while Naruto was occupied. "We'd like him to help us," he stated determinedly. "Orochimaru tricked us all, but if we work together, we can save both our countries."

Gaara flinched--though he didn't move, he could still hear them, distantly. "You…." His fingers twisted in Naruto's coat. "You'll use me," he whispered.

"Of course not," Naruto replied immediately, voice rising at the accusation. "We want you to be our comrade." His arms tightened. "If you want to be, of course. Gaara...." He felt a brief tremor go through him. "We're alike, you and me. I think we can be friends--I want to be." He tipped his head down to be sure Gaara would hear him. "Trust me this much--I swear we're not going to use you."

Gaara was silent a moment, and then he adjusted his grip, fitting more comfortably against Naruto's body. "Okay."

Lee gulped, leaning anxiously forward. "Does that mean...you'll come with us?" he asked. "Will you let us help you?"

Gaara paused again, though not for as long. "Okay."

Naruto grinned. "Good to hear." He tipped his head. "You wanna stay here a bit longer?

"No." Gaara leaned back, taking a moment to scrub at his eyes. He winced a little as the sand crept into them. Once he was finished he glanced between them all. "I'm hungry."

Lee reached into the pouch at his hip, removing an apple he'd picked along the way. "It's fresh," he assured as he offered it over.

Gaara watched the apple warily, then Lee's hopeful face, then the apple. When he at last accepted it was hesitantly, and he nibbled humbly at the skin.

"Gaara--" Temari stepped forward, though when Lee and Naruto looked at her, she hesitated. //What can I say? Would he be better with them?// "I...."

Lee glanced up at her, then pushed to his feet. "Um...Temari-san, wasn't it?" he asked cautiously. "Can I talk to you for a second?" //Maybe I can help in this situation, too.//

Gaara glanced up at them, but he didn't speak, still making slow progress with his fruit.

She followed Lee, not knowing what else she could do. //I could never comfort him like that. I couldn't even tell him...I wasn't afraid, because I was. I was.// Once they were a safe distance away, Temari leaned against a tree for support.

"Temari-san...." Lee took a deep breath. //I can do this. Just like how Naruto-kun is helping Gaara. San.// "I know you're worried about your comrade. But I think Naruto-kun really understands...at least some of what he's been through. He needs that, doesn't he? People like you and I...." He lowered his eyes guiltily. "We're not strong enough to take care of them. So maybe we should let them take care of each other, for now."

Temari looked up, staring at Lee blankly as though she hadn't understood. She finally sighed and rubbed at her eyes. "Even though he's my brother, there's nothing I can do. They kept him so separated...we didn't know what to do. We couldn't...." She covered her mouth before facing Lee again. "You aren't going to use him? You...really want to help him?"

//Her brother…?// Lee smiled grimly. "We...do." He glanced away. "It's not easy for me to say that, really. But Naruto-kun wants to help him, and I believe he really can. So we should try, right?"

She closed her eyes. "Yes. Yes, we should." After a moment of gathering herself, Temari pushed away from the tree. "If I hear otherwise, however...." She came before Lee, meeting his eyes fiercely. "...I will personally make both of you pay."

Lee gulped. "You could...come with us...?" he offered sheepishly.

Temari shook her head. "No, I can't. If what you're saying is true, and that Orochimaru may come after our village, I can't abandon it. But Gaara...." Her expression fell. "He may be better off...leaving...."

"We'll take good care of your brother," Lee assured. "And if you want to come visit him, you can anytime. Right?" //Guy-sensei--I really am helping! Like you helped me....// "We'll welcome you."

Nodding, Temari took a step away. "I appreciate that, Lee-kun." She turned to head back to the others. "I'll go with you to the edge of the Fire Country, just to be sure."

"Okay...." Pleased with himself, Lee jogged after her. By then Gaara had graduated to full bites, and had nearly finished the apple Lee had given him. Looking at him now, he really didn't look very well--he was pale, and the dark circles under his eyes seemed worse than ever. He glanced to Naruto. //Will we really be able to travel with him like that?// "Think...we can start back?"

Naruto nodded--he was patiently watching Gaara eat, though he smiled up at the others as they came forward. "As soon as Gaara's ready, we can go. We should make pretty good time back, and then we can rest for a bit." He grinned brightly at Gaara. "Until we can get you a place for yourself, you can stay with me. I don't have much room, but I don't mind."

"Stay with you...?" Gaara frowned, gulping down the last bit of apple he could scrape from its core. "That's not really necessary," he said, pushing to his feet. Though it took more concentration than usual, he drew the gourd back into shape at his back.

"Well, you can't just live outside all the time, right? I really don't mind." Naruto stood as well, dusting sand off his jacket and pants. He looked around at all of them--at least the hardest part was done with. For now. Stretching, he started off towards the East. "Ready?"

"Yeah...." Gaara glanced at Temari, just to be sure she was coming with them, before following after Naruto. //This will be all right.// Though he was still weary he had no trouble keeping pace with the others as they went deeper into the forest. //It will have to be.//

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