A Caring brother
folder
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
15
Views:
1,552
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
15
Views:
1,552
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own this fandom. It belong to the owner of the Japanese manga series Naruto. I am simply making a story with his characters. I make NO money out of this. I just write for my own enjoyment.
A Caring brother 15
This is NOT Beta-read and English is not my native language so please bare with me. The two betas I have are mia and loa atm. I have the tendency to run long sentences here and there but please try not to mind that! I try my best when my muse hits me so please be gentle when it comes to grammar and sentence issues :p
_______________________________
CHAPTER XV
_______________________________
Kankuro had left Gaaras room after he was “dismissed” the way he had been, and took a shower to try and sort his thoughts out even though he had ended up masturbating to the memories of Gaara underneath him, the feel of being inside of him and his sounds and smells. He had gone to bed even though he couldn’t really sleep that night and had ended up touching himself once more while thinking of Gaara again.
It was a long time ago he had such a hard time relaxing because of a raging mind and that of course lead to a lot of twists and turns in his bed while he was trying to sort them out without being overly horny on his little brother. What did he want? And most of all, what was he prepared to do to get it. Gaara was obviously willing, that much was clear, but was Kankuro willing to risk everything? Not only himself, but Gaara’s seat as Kazekage as well. Something he was Sure Gaara hadn’t quite understood yet.
Gaara remained in the window for a few more hours, watching the moon making its course over the desert sky of Suna. Once again his heart was full of pain just like it had been when he opened up to his uncle Yashamaru so many years ago. And now here was Kankuro, giving him pain as well even though it was a completely different one. On the other hand, pain was at least something to feel, right?
Suddenly, something wet appeared on his hand which he held by his chest and he looked down on it in surprise. Water? No, a tear. Gaara found himself looking at it as if it was a foreign object for a moment, raising his hand to look at the drop resting there before it trickled its way down his hand. The other hand reached for his cheek as if he wanted to check if it was from him the tear came from and it was.
When was the last time he had been crying out of heart ache like this? Nightmares and frustration sure he’d cried to himself then, but when had the world felt so heavy and dark as it did now? … When he was six. His uncle, that had been the last time he’d cried out of heart ache, that was also the day when he’d shut his emotions down again. The thoughts kept returning to that moment when Yashamaru had tried to kill him, the only person he had allowed himself to give trust because he seemed loving and caring. Was Kankuro doing the same? Was he making Gaara open up just to hurt him more? Perhaps kill him when he least expected it? The questions were many but the options to ask them were few.
Eventually, Gaara crawled into bed after undressing until he only had his underwear on. His bed still had Kankuro’s scent still, on the extra pillow as well as on the covers which made him sigh in his own sadness of being alone, the sadness he didn’t want to accept was there even though he knew he couldn’t really deny it. Gaara pulled the covers up to his waist then pulled Kankuro’s pillow closer to him.
“Why am I always denied love..?”
Gaara asked quietly while his hand ran over the empty pillow his nose was inhaling the scent from. What was he to believe and what was he to think? None of this made any sense. One day you get what you need and the other you’re denied because of what other people may think? Gaara rolled up in fetal position and eventually fell asleep holding Kankuro’s pillow. Even though it was a restless sleep with a lot of dreams which Kankuro could hear due to Gaara’s whimpers but he didn’t go there to soothe his baby brother, not tonight.
Kankuro didn’t go there for the other three nights either, even though the dreams seemed to continue night after night. His heart ached for his little brother every time he heard his whimpers and half screams but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to say what he felt or what he wanted or even if it was the right thing to do to begin with. The boys spent three days, four days, almost a week apart. Gaara in his room; barely eating more than a fly but at least drinking a bit more than he ate once the food was placed outside his door. Kankuro took care of the household and doing his rounds while worrying about his brother.
When a week had passed and Gaara still had refused to talk to him, Kankuro was out of his mind. He was back on square one which he had hoped he’d never go back to and it was his own fault to blame. It was now almost four AM but he still hadn’t gone to bed but instead remained watching the stars outside while sitting in Gaara’s favorite armchair, why he did that he wasn’t quite sure of.
Then it came. Just like so many nights before. Gaara’s fussing while having nightmares about Shukaku no doubt. Kankuro listened to the sounds of his brother in dreaming-agony for a while and finally made up his mind. He couldn’t let Gaara suffer like this, not anymore.
The Sand ninja rose from the armchair and made his way to his brother’s room and knocked on the door but there were no answer more than a few whimpers and that was enough to make him open the door and enter with his brother’s name on his lips. A soft call of concern that went unnoticed and unanswered, if you didn’t count the whimpers.
“Gaara… Gaara, wake up. It’s a just bad dream”
Kankuro walked up towards his brother’s bed and just as he was about to touch him, he heard the sound of rustling sand but never got the chance to react more than gasping at the sound and knowing what would happen. Gaara swung around in bed with a hunted look and glistening sweat all over his lithe frame.
“Are you going to kill me now?!”
He accused with a cold voice while still catching his breath from the dream. Kankuro who found himself locked in a wave of sand around his chest and arms locked behind his back, unable to move but able to speak and breathe, instantly stared at his brother in shock of what he heard.
“Wh.. what? No! Why would I..?! No! Never, Gaara! Why would I want to do that!?”
“You act like him, you probably think like him too… so kill me then and be done with it, but not without me defending myself.”
Gaara said sharply, those cold eyes felt like they penetrated Kankuro’s entire mind and being. Was this what Yashamaru had seen before he died? No one really knew since Gaara hadn’t been that keen on telling anyone what had really happened. The only thing that had been changed besides Gaara’s personality, was the scar on his forehead that meant “Love” in kanji.
Love.
“Gaara, no. I don’t want to kill you, I would never even think the thought? Why do you even say that?”
Kankuro said with a forced calm and a soft voice, his eyes showing a little hurt of the fact that the words were even spoken. A part of him could understand why the words had been said though. He swallowed and looked down at the floor for a moment, mostly to avoid looking into those cold, emotionless but beautiful eyes of his little brother’s.
“If you don’t think the thought, then why do you behave like him? Are you trying to give me some form of false security?”
“No! Gaara.. please, no! Stop this… just, let me explain.”
“You explained enough a week ago.”
“No, I didn’t. Not if this is the result of that half assed conversation we had then…”
Gaara hesitated a moment.
“You say I misunderstood you then?”
“Yes, please… stop this, otouto. Calm down. No one here is trying to harm you in any way, especially not me. Hell… I even got myself poisoned because of you a while back when I tried to chase after you when Atasuki took you, remember? Why would I want to kill you when I’d die for your safety..”
“So you say.”
Gaara watched Kankuro with mistrusting eyes but eventually let the sand go and let it crawl back to the gourd again but he kept a close watch on every movement Kankuro did. Kankuro gave him a pained look because Gaara would even think this of him after what they shared. Perhaps because of what they’d shared…
Kankuro looked down the floor while he rubbed his upper arms a bit, the sand wasn’t that kind to the skin even though you had clothes on, it always seemed to be able to sneak through the fibers in the fabric. At the same time, Gaara hadn’t been that hard and vicious with the sand as he could be.
“Explain then”
Gaara said and folded his arms over his naked chest. The cold voice of Gaara rang through Kankuro’s ears and it felt like it cut through every bone in his body…twice. He swallowed hard and glanced up at his little brother and met sharp, cold eyes that would kill with a single look if they had possessed that power.
“I… I’m not sure where to begin.”
“At the beginning”
“uh.. well.. yes, of course… I.. I’m just not sure where that is at the moment heh..”
Kankuro scratched the back of his head for a moment while the thoughts ran through his head. How on earth was he going to be able to explain this to a person that doesn’t want to understand that what they did was wrong? He couldn’t deny the fact that he had longed for it either, or the fact that he’d been masturbating while replaying the scenes in his head over and over again. The touches, the smell, the feel; All of it.
_______________________________
CHAPTER XV
_______________________________
Kankuro had left Gaaras room after he was “dismissed” the way he had been, and took a shower to try and sort his thoughts out even though he had ended up masturbating to the memories of Gaara underneath him, the feel of being inside of him and his sounds and smells. He had gone to bed even though he couldn’t really sleep that night and had ended up touching himself once more while thinking of Gaara again.
It was a long time ago he had such a hard time relaxing because of a raging mind and that of course lead to a lot of twists and turns in his bed while he was trying to sort them out without being overly horny on his little brother. What did he want? And most of all, what was he prepared to do to get it. Gaara was obviously willing, that much was clear, but was Kankuro willing to risk everything? Not only himself, but Gaara’s seat as Kazekage as well. Something he was Sure Gaara hadn’t quite understood yet.
Gaara remained in the window for a few more hours, watching the moon making its course over the desert sky of Suna. Once again his heart was full of pain just like it had been when he opened up to his uncle Yashamaru so many years ago. And now here was Kankuro, giving him pain as well even though it was a completely different one. On the other hand, pain was at least something to feel, right?
Suddenly, something wet appeared on his hand which he held by his chest and he looked down on it in surprise. Water? No, a tear. Gaara found himself looking at it as if it was a foreign object for a moment, raising his hand to look at the drop resting there before it trickled its way down his hand. The other hand reached for his cheek as if he wanted to check if it was from him the tear came from and it was.
When was the last time he had been crying out of heart ache like this? Nightmares and frustration sure he’d cried to himself then, but when had the world felt so heavy and dark as it did now? … When he was six. His uncle, that had been the last time he’d cried out of heart ache, that was also the day when he’d shut his emotions down again. The thoughts kept returning to that moment when Yashamaru had tried to kill him, the only person he had allowed himself to give trust because he seemed loving and caring. Was Kankuro doing the same? Was he making Gaara open up just to hurt him more? Perhaps kill him when he least expected it? The questions were many but the options to ask them were few.
Eventually, Gaara crawled into bed after undressing until he only had his underwear on. His bed still had Kankuro’s scent still, on the extra pillow as well as on the covers which made him sigh in his own sadness of being alone, the sadness he didn’t want to accept was there even though he knew he couldn’t really deny it. Gaara pulled the covers up to his waist then pulled Kankuro’s pillow closer to him.
“Why am I always denied love..?”
Gaara asked quietly while his hand ran over the empty pillow his nose was inhaling the scent from. What was he to believe and what was he to think? None of this made any sense. One day you get what you need and the other you’re denied because of what other people may think? Gaara rolled up in fetal position and eventually fell asleep holding Kankuro’s pillow. Even though it was a restless sleep with a lot of dreams which Kankuro could hear due to Gaara’s whimpers but he didn’t go there to soothe his baby brother, not tonight.
Kankuro didn’t go there for the other three nights either, even though the dreams seemed to continue night after night. His heart ached for his little brother every time he heard his whimpers and half screams but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to say what he felt or what he wanted or even if it was the right thing to do to begin with. The boys spent three days, four days, almost a week apart. Gaara in his room; barely eating more than a fly but at least drinking a bit more than he ate once the food was placed outside his door. Kankuro took care of the household and doing his rounds while worrying about his brother.
When a week had passed and Gaara still had refused to talk to him, Kankuro was out of his mind. He was back on square one which he had hoped he’d never go back to and it was his own fault to blame. It was now almost four AM but he still hadn’t gone to bed but instead remained watching the stars outside while sitting in Gaara’s favorite armchair, why he did that he wasn’t quite sure of.
Then it came. Just like so many nights before. Gaara’s fussing while having nightmares about Shukaku no doubt. Kankuro listened to the sounds of his brother in dreaming-agony for a while and finally made up his mind. He couldn’t let Gaara suffer like this, not anymore.
The Sand ninja rose from the armchair and made his way to his brother’s room and knocked on the door but there were no answer more than a few whimpers and that was enough to make him open the door and enter with his brother’s name on his lips. A soft call of concern that went unnoticed and unanswered, if you didn’t count the whimpers.
“Gaara… Gaara, wake up. It’s a just bad dream”
Kankuro walked up towards his brother’s bed and just as he was about to touch him, he heard the sound of rustling sand but never got the chance to react more than gasping at the sound and knowing what would happen. Gaara swung around in bed with a hunted look and glistening sweat all over his lithe frame.
“Are you going to kill me now?!”
He accused with a cold voice while still catching his breath from the dream. Kankuro who found himself locked in a wave of sand around his chest and arms locked behind his back, unable to move but able to speak and breathe, instantly stared at his brother in shock of what he heard.
“Wh.. what? No! Why would I..?! No! Never, Gaara! Why would I want to do that!?”
“You act like him, you probably think like him too… so kill me then and be done with it, but not without me defending myself.”
Gaara said sharply, those cold eyes felt like they penetrated Kankuro’s entire mind and being. Was this what Yashamaru had seen before he died? No one really knew since Gaara hadn’t been that keen on telling anyone what had really happened. The only thing that had been changed besides Gaara’s personality, was the scar on his forehead that meant “Love” in kanji.
Love.
“Gaara, no. I don’t want to kill you, I would never even think the thought? Why do you even say that?”
Kankuro said with a forced calm and a soft voice, his eyes showing a little hurt of the fact that the words were even spoken. A part of him could understand why the words had been said though. He swallowed and looked down at the floor for a moment, mostly to avoid looking into those cold, emotionless but beautiful eyes of his little brother’s.
“If you don’t think the thought, then why do you behave like him? Are you trying to give me some form of false security?”
“No! Gaara.. please, no! Stop this… just, let me explain.”
“You explained enough a week ago.”
“No, I didn’t. Not if this is the result of that half assed conversation we had then…”
Gaara hesitated a moment.
“You say I misunderstood you then?”
“Yes, please… stop this, otouto. Calm down. No one here is trying to harm you in any way, especially not me. Hell… I even got myself poisoned because of you a while back when I tried to chase after you when Atasuki took you, remember? Why would I want to kill you when I’d die for your safety..”
“So you say.”
Gaara watched Kankuro with mistrusting eyes but eventually let the sand go and let it crawl back to the gourd again but he kept a close watch on every movement Kankuro did. Kankuro gave him a pained look because Gaara would even think this of him after what they shared. Perhaps because of what they’d shared…
Kankuro looked down the floor while he rubbed his upper arms a bit, the sand wasn’t that kind to the skin even though you had clothes on, it always seemed to be able to sneak through the fibers in the fabric. At the same time, Gaara hadn’t been that hard and vicious with the sand as he could be.
“Explain then”
Gaara said and folded his arms over his naked chest. The cold voice of Gaara rang through Kankuro’s ears and it felt like it cut through every bone in his body…twice. He swallowed hard and glanced up at his little brother and met sharp, cold eyes that would kill with a single look if they had possessed that power.
“I… I’m not sure where to begin.”
“At the beginning”
“uh.. well.. yes, of course… I.. I’m just not sure where that is at the moment heh..”
Kankuro scratched the back of his head for a moment while the thoughts ran through his head. How on earth was he going to be able to explain this to a person that doesn’t want to understand that what they did was wrong? He couldn’t deny the fact that he had longed for it either, or the fact that he’d been masturbating while replaying the scenes in his head over and over again. The touches, the smell, the feel; All of it.