Perception

This chapter was another hard one to write, it’s very bittersweet. Also, there is another lemon at the end. Just like the last one was more than just a lemon for the sake of a lemon, this one is even more significant and it’s very important to the final development of the story. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

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Perception by Cynchick
Chapter 16: Before the Dawn


Sakura sat on the old leather sofa in front of the massive stone fireplace in the base’s common room, reading one of the more intact old books she’d found on the shelf in the corner. It was about the history of the military in this country, which was quite old and had once been part of a large empire so long ago that Sakura had never even heard of it. There was no longer a military or government here, and the old fortress they were in was used by border patrols after that. Judging by the look of the place and the worn state of the furniture, Sakura guessed it had been abandoned about fifty years ago. She had no idea how long the Akatsuki had been using it as one of their many hideouts.


She shifted uncomfortably when a tear in the stiff old leather poked her and glanced up at Kisame. The pale light of mid afternoon through the small, dingy window outlined his large frame in a wintry blue glow. The shark nin had somehow managed to rig up the broken billiards table into basic function and was currently playing against himself. It was rather amusing to watch because it was still a bit lopsided and the balls kept rolling out of place, causing muttered curses to emit from him every few minutes. This was the end result of extreme boredom and she was kind of surprised he wasn’t down in the training room attempting to get everyone to fight him.


They were all bored, restless, anxious, and in Sakura’s case, full of nervous dread. They had been here for a week with nowhere to go and nothing to do but wait for the battle that was coming. No one talked about it, but the knowledge of it tainted every conversation, every look sent her way, and it hung in the air like death’s shadow. For some of them, it may be exactly that. Sakura couldn’t stand it anymore. As much as she didn’t want it to happen, she wished it would just happen already so she could figure out what to do with the rest of her life.


Kisame swore at the table again, and Sakura sighed and returned to her book with a turn of the page. She was halfway down the page when she felt someone behind her and a hand touched her shoulder. She looked up and smiled at Deidara as he walked around and flopped on the couch not far from her.


“How can you read that boring stuff, hmm?” he asked, slouching down into the cushions and throwing his arms over the back of the couch.


“It’s interesting…kind of,” she shrugged halfheartedly. Deidara looked at her blankly, and a moment later she gave a small laugh. “Ok, its boring as hell, but what else am I supposed to do?”


It was his turn to shrug. “You could play pool with Kisame,” he suggested, looking over his shoulder with a grin at the frustrated man.


Sakura watched as Kisame tried to compensate for the lean in the table and overshot his mark, sending the ball flying across the room with a series of bangs and curse words from the shark. “I think I’ll pass,” she chuckled. “He looks like he’s about to break that table to pieces, and I don’t think I want to be standing next to it when he does.”


“At least it would be entertaining, yeah,” he sighed, turning around and pulling one knee up to his chest. “Not like some irrelevant old history book,” he teased.


Sakura smiled. “I’m a medic. It’s not the most boring thing I’ve ever read by far, trust me. Besides, there’s no such thing as too much knowledge.”


He laughed. “Oh yes there is! I bet I could think of a bunch of things to tell you that you’ll wish you’d never heard, yeah.”


“Now that would be entertaining. I’m sure you’re full of all sorts of perverted and disturbing information,” she laughed. He just smiled at her deviously. “Where’s Tobi been all day?” she asked after a moment.


“He’s out scouting the area,” he said after a hesitant pause.


Sakura’s face fell a little. There was only one thing he would be scouting for. “Oh,” she said quietly, and they left it at that.


She went back to halfheartedly reading and several minutes passed before she felt him watching her and looked up curiously to meet his piercing blue eyes. “What?” she asked lightly.


He looked at her another moment before giving a small shake of his head. “Nothin,” he murmured, and turned his gaze to the fire in front of them.


She didn’t push him for an answer, and after a moment she returned her eyes to the book. Her reading had become mechanical now, and she wasn’t really absorbing what her eyes were scanning. The jagged flap from the torn leather was poking her in the back again and after a moment she scooted to a new position closer to Deidara. She glanced at him and when he showed no reaction, she spontaneously decided to scoot over all the way and sit right next to him, her shoulder under the arm still hanging over the back of the couch and her side pressing against his.


He did glance at her then, and she answered his curious look with a small smile and pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, giving up on the book and watching the fire instead.


They sat like that for a while, the crackling of the fire and the clacking and muttering from Kisame’s pitiful game the only sounds in the room. Suddenly they heard a loud growl of annoyance from the shark’s direction. “Oh, fuck it!” he barked, and the table went crashing into the wall, knocking the books out of the bookshelf in the process.


The two ninja on the couch watched the chaos with a mixture of surprise and amusement before bursting into laughter when Kisame proceeded to smash the offending table to pieces with Samehada. It was a long moment before Sakura could stop laughing, and she rested her forehead on her knees while she caught her breath.


“Hey,” Deidara said quietly.


“Hmm?” she murmured, eventually raising her head to look at him.


“Let’s go outside.”


“Right now?”


“Yeah. I’m so bored I’m about to start blowing shit up. It’s probably best to leave the building for that, yeah,” he grinned, and she laughed in reply. “Come on,” he said, standing up.


She stood up as well and adjusted her cloak. They were just turning to leave when Itachi entered the common room through the door on the far side.


Sakura paused, and his eyes met hers and held them as he entered. She hadn’t seen much of him throughout the day; after they had finally gotten out of bed and dressed they went about their usual business. On the surface not much appeared to have changed, and she knew it never would. Itachi and public displays of affection were such contrasting concepts that she would probably fall over in a dead faint if they ever coincided. But what she read in his eyes as he walked by was more than enough to make her stomach flutter. He walked over to where his partner stood and turned his attention to the pile of crumbling books and the wooden debris that had once been a billiards table. The ‘what the fuck?’ look he gave Kisame made Sakura giggle quietly behind her hand.


“Kisame, there is a matter we must discuss privately,” Itachi said, his smooth voice filling the quiet room despite its soft tone. Kisame nodded and with a last scathing look at the obliterated table, they turned to leave.


Before they reached the door, Tobi suddenly burst through it haphazardly and stood before them breathing heavily. He had clearly rushed back from wherever he had been and must have important news. Sakura’s blood turned cold.


“They’re coming,” he panted.


Dread flooded through her and settled into a clenching knot in her stomach, and she felt Deidara tense behind her as the entire room filled with the weight of Tobi’s announcement.


“Which one is it?” Itachi asked, his voice betraying nothing.


“Both of them. All of them, rather. Tobi located the Kyuubi and his teammates about sixty miles from here, and on the way back Tobi discovered another group of shinobi even closer to us. It must be your little brother, Itachi-san; he looked a lot like you.”


“How many all together?” Kisame asked the masked nin. Itachi seemed to have spaced out and was staring at nothing with a dark expression. His face had much of the same look as Sakura’s at that moment.


“Seven. At least one of the groups will be here sometime in the morning, and the other will probably arrive no later than midday.”


It became very quiet after that, the silence heavy with foreboding.


After several long, tense moments, Itachi refocused his attention on his surroundings. “Very well,” he said quietly. “Tomorrow it is.”


He met Sakura’s eyes and held them for a long moment, everything and nothing passing between their locked gazes, and then he turned and walked through the door. Kisame lingered a moment before he remembered what he was doing beforehand and followed after his partner.


Sakura stared unseeing at the empty doorframe where Itachi had exited. Tomorrow. It would all end tomorrow. Tomorrow, someone she cared about may die. She felt sick; the waves of fear and anxiety racing through her body and making her feel dizzy.


Deidara saw her frame visibly wilt and she brought a hand to her temple. She was shaking. “Hey…” he grabbed her shoulders gently to steady her in case she was going to fall. “Are you-?”


“Of course I’m not alright!” she snapped, jerking out of his grasp.


“Sakura…” he said softly, and she could hear the concern in his voice.


That only made her feel worse, and guilty for snapping at him; he shouldn’t be concerned for her and vice versa. They should be enemies. Not friends. Not concerned for each other’s well beings. Not…


“Sorry,” she muttered, wilting again. He didn’t reach out this time, though his expression remained troubled. “I just…I don’t feel very well. I think I’ll go lie down.”


“Do you need anything?”


She laughed morosely. She needed a lot of things, primarily a way to stop this impending calamity. “No…” she mumbled, walking away listlessly. “I just need to be alone for a while.”


Deidara watched her go with a disturbed and slightly guilty look. He sighed heavily and looked over at his partner; the only other person left in the room. Tobi looked utterly dejected, obviously upset to be the bearer of such bad news.


He doubted that any of his comrades still thought of this as good news. A month ago they would have been sadistically excited, after all he still had a grudge against the Copy Ninja and the Kyuubi from their last encounter, but it was no longer the case. And it was all because of a petite, pink haired woman currently walking depressed through the halls.


What had she done to them all?

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A few hours later Sakura woke from her fitful, restless sleep. She had come back to her room after the ominous announcement and lay on her bed, refusing to think about anything, letting herself simply lie there miserably and stare at the coals burning in the heater until she eventually dozed off.


She slowly got up from the bed. There was no use hiding in here, it wouldn’t change anything. This would be the last day she spent with the men she had come to think of as friends and companions. Tomorrow her entire life would change for better or worse. She wanted this to be a night she would always remember fondly, no matter what the morning may bring.


She quietly exited her room and made her way down the corridor. A moment later she felt a presence down the hall from beyond her room and soon she heard soft footsteps moving steadily toward her. She knew who it was, and she unconsciously slowed her steps in anticipation. Itachi rounded the corner and met her eyes, holding her gaze as he neared her. He paused when he reached her and she looked up at him with a half hopeful, half expectant expression.


His dark eyes traveled over her features like a caress, and he reached out to wrap an arm around her and pull her to the side until he held her gently to the wall. His other hand settled on her waist and he leaned in, pressing his body against hers as he lowered his head to her neck, breathing in the scent of her hair and skin before placing a sensuous kiss just below her ear.


She sighed and moved her hands over his firm stomach to settle on his waist. He cupped the side of her face as his breath tickled over her jaw and cheek before his lips met hers in a soft, passionate kiss. She responded immediately and let him take her away from everything, forgetting all her fears for just a moment. His tongue entered her mouth and glided with hers, sensual but not lustful, a kiss purely for the sake of kissing. It was a surprise from him, but it was wonderful, and she wondered if perhaps this was his own small way of comforting her.


He slowly, lingeringly ended the kiss and grazed his lips along the shell of her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. “Come to me tonight,” he whispered, pulling back slightly to look into her eyes.


Sakura laughed inwardly. To frame a request in the form of a command, that was just like him. She nodded a silent promise. He really needn’t have asked, because she would have gone anyway. He captured her lips again in another sensual, lingering kiss before pulling away and casually walking down the hall. She took a deep breath and pushed off from the wall with a small smile, and then continued on her way in the opposite direction.

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She entered the large common room and was halfway across the floor when what she saw made her stop in her tracks.


Kisame and Deidara were both there, calmly and efficiently preparing their weapons. Kisame had Samehada unwrapped and was checking that all of the teeth were in order, and Deidara had his clay pouches open and fully stocked in front of him and was busy sharpening a few kunai. They were readying for battle.


Of course they were. What did she expect them to do? They certainly weren’t going to pace the floor and become a nervous wreck like she was. They wanted this to happen. It was their whole reason for being here. They were probably excited about it.


They both looked up and stopped what they were doing when she came in, either out of courtesy to her or as a precaution because tomorrow she would become their enemy once again, she didn’t know which. No one said anything, because what could really be said in a situation as surreal as this?


She felt that sickening clench in her gut again, the calm and pleasurable mood her moment with Itachi had put her in vanishing in an instant. She looked at those weapons and saw them covered in the blood of her loved ones, of her family. She could smell the smoke and hear the explosions.


She wasn’t angry or blameful of the two shinobi before her. She knew they were just trying to complete their mission and protect their own lives from her teammates and from their own leader. It was just that the abstract idea she had known all along had now become a hard and brutal reality; tomorrow, blood would be shed. Tomorrow, people would die. She couldn’t look at them anymore; she needed to get away from them and their tools of death.


She turned her face away and quickly continued through the room and exited toward the kitchen.


The two men watched her go and then looked at each other, at a loss about what to say or even think at this point. A moment after she had disappeared through the doorway they slowly, almost reluctantly, went back to their battle preparations.

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When she entered the kitchen she slumped down in one of the dining chairs and put her head in her hands. There were sounds coming from the pantry and a few minutes later Tobi emerged with an armful of various things to make for dinner.


He noticed Sakura and after setting the items on the counter he moved to her side. “Are you ok, Sakura-san?” he asked.


Sakura took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. “No, Tobi, I’m really not,”


Tobi reached out and gently placed a gloved hand on her shoulder. “Tobi understands. Would you like some tea, Sakura-san?”


She gave him a tiny nod of her head. “Thank you,” she said in a small voice. He turned and walked away. She wished they would all stop being so nice and friendly to her, it was only making it worse. But it wasn’t their fault any more than it was hers that they had ended up in this situation, and now they were all caught with no way out.


Tobi came over a few minutes later with the tea and set it down on the table. She thanked him again quietly and he walked back to the other side of the kitchen. She still didn’t know much of anything about him and she never would because after tomorrow, they would likely never meet again. Their demented, dysfunctional little family would break apart forever after tonight. Thoughts like that only troubled her more, and she tried to push them out and keep her head clear.


A little while later, Deidara entered the kitchen and paused when he saw Sakura. He took a cautious seat adjacent to her, as if he expected her to be angry or lash out at him again. She gave him a small, forced smile and offered him the extra cup from the tea tray. He took it and poured himself a cup, and they sat without speaking.


Another several minutes passed before Kisame came in and wandered to the back of the kitchen where Tobi was and the two of them made their best attempts at cooking, which wasn’t saying much. Itachi joined them half an hour later and they all sat down for what would be their last meal together.


The meal was simple, as was the conversation. Everyone was deliberately keeping the mood light and pleasant; they joked and laughed and everyone seemed in good spirits. But there was a sense of bittersweet finality to everything that was said, every smile and look, and no matter how much they ignored it, the dark shadow of tomorrow hung over them like an invisible cloud.


After a while, near the end of their meal, they ran out of lighthearted things to say and the table became very quiet and somber. Kisame got up and returned a moment later with a large bottle of sake. He sat back down and fixed his silver gaze on Sakura.


“Well, princess, I guess this is it huh?” he said cheerfully, flashing a pointy-toothed grin.


“I guess it is,” she answered wistfully.


“Have a drink with me.”


She smirked at him. “Did you forget what happened last time you wanted to drink with me?” she teased, taking the filled cup he passed to her.


The shark nin chuckled. “I won’t be drinking that much tonight. Got a busy day tomorrow.”


Sakura’s smile cracked as she stared at him.


“It’ll be a great battle, one for the books probably, and we’ll all be proud to have been part of it someday.”


“Proud? You could die tomorrow, you know,” she said dryly.


He shrugged. “Of course I know that. We all know that. None of us are afraid to die, princess. Any shinobi who’s afraid of death isn’t worthy of their hitai-ate, scratched out or not. What better way to go down than in an epic battle that will be remembered long after we’re gone, right?”


“That’s right, yeah,” Deidara spoke up finally. “If we have to die, we may as well go out with a bang.”


That made her smile, albeit against her will. She knew what they said was true. And the extraordinary elite shinobi that would be part of this battle, on both sides, deserved nothing less.


“You do what you gotta do girlie, and so will we. I won’t take it personally,” Kisame continued.


She nodded absently and downed her sake.


Kisame refilled it for her and downed his own. “I have to say, it’s sure been interesting, this whole ordeal. I don’t think any of us will be forgetting it for a long time, if ever. You’re a hell of a kunoichi, and whatever happens tomorrow or after, I’m glad I got to know you,” he said with gruff cheerfulness.


Sakura nodded with a tiny smile. “I’m glad too.”


Tobi, who was sitting next to her, suddenly leaned over and flung his arms around her shoulders in a tight hug. “We’ll never forget you, Sakura-san!” he cried. “Tobi will miss you!”


She laughed softly and returned the childlike man’s hug with a bittersweet smile, fighting the stinging in her eyes. “I’ll miss you too, Tobi.”


After a long moment she eventually coaxed him into letting go so she could breathe properly. She blinked several times to control her rebellious emotions and finally met Itachi’s eyes across the table. He looked remarkably calm and peaceful for a man about to enter a battle to the death with his own brother. His normally dark and turbulent chakra was placid and he seemed almost…acceptant.


She began to wonder what he would be like later, when they were alone. He’d asked her to come to him, something she thought he’d never do. The fatalistic mood that had filled the place since the announcement that afternoon seemed to have caused a small change in him. He seemed almost…happy, and not in the sadistic, murderous way she would have expected. What was their last night together going to be like? She felt her cheeks heat up with blush at the thought and looked away from him before her fluctuating emotions caused her to give something away that she didn’t want to be seen.


Kisame convinced everyone else to join in their little farewell celebration, and the five of them spent the next few hours creating memories to take away with them when it was all over.

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Later that night, after they had all gone to do their own things and finish any preparations, Sakura wandered into the common room to retrieve her green scarf she had left there earlier in the day.


She was somewhat surprised to see Deidara there, alone, standing in front of the massive fireplace and watching the blaze. The rest of the room was dark and he seemed to be isolated in a vast black space. He looked up at her when she approached, and his ice-blue eyes followed her as she picked up her scarf from the back of the couch and moved to stand beside him. They stared at each other for a moment before she turned her luminous eyes to the fire, and a moment later he did the same.


After a few quiet minutes she finally spoke, her voice small and sad. “You know…I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive you if you kill me tomorrow.”


He stared at her with a troubled and slightly offended expression, but she wouldn’t look away from the flames. After a moment he sighed heavily and looked away. “I’m not going to kill you, Sakura,” he said tiredly, staring at the ceiling in mild exasperation. “No one wants to see you get hurt from this, yeah.”


She let out a tiny, morbid laugh. “No…you just want to kill the people I love most in the world…” she said with bitter irony, finally meeting his gaze.


Her beautiful jade eyes burned into him with accusation and fear and hurt, but he didn’t look away. He couldn’t. He didn’t say anything in response; truthfully he could think of nothing appropriate to say. He felt angry; at Itachi, for bringing her into this, at Leader, for putting them in such a tight spot that the Uchiha had to resort to desperate measures, and at himself , for getting involved and close enough to care about any of it. Close enough to care about her. He hated what this was doing to her, and for just a moment he wished they had never let her out of that room to wander free among them all those weeks ago, that way she could still hate them and they wouldn’t give a damn about her, and this wouldn’t be so inexplicably hard. The thought only lasted for a moment, because looking at her now he knew he would never trade or regret what had come to be.


She looked away again with another heavy sigh. “I know it’s not your fault. It’s just…I feel like I’m already grieving…and I don’t even know for whom,” she whispered shakily. Her lip trembled slightly as her pent up emotions finally broke free, rebellious tears leaking unwanted from her eyes as they stared unseeing at the blaze.


She blinked several times and wiped at her eyes irritably. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, angry with herself for losing her composure.


Deidara’s heart wrenched slightly at her distress, but he was amazed by her inner strength as well, and he was once again at a loss for what to say or do. He wasn’t good at this sort of thing; he had never before cared enough to try. “Don’t be,” he said softly. “I can’t even imagine what this must be like for you, yeah.” She wiped her eyes again and they returned to watching the fire in silence.


“Deidara…”


“Hmm?”


She turned to him suddenly and flung her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m really going to miss you…” she whispered into the hollow of his neck.


Momentarily stunned, he stood there with a surprised expression, his arms raised hesitantly, before he finally brought them around her smaller frame to return the embrace. She was trembling slightly, trying to hold on to her emotions. She sniffled softly, and he cautiously brought his hand up to cradle her head gently, letting her cry into his chest as his fingers smoothed through her soft hair. “I know…me too,” he replied awkwardly.


He was confused as hell right now. He wanted to comfort her, but he had lived in a violent world for so long he didn’t know how to handle things like this. And he was wary that any moment Itachi could walk through the door and try to kill him without asking questions first. On second thought, Itachi could go to hell. He seriously doubted she showed this kind of vulnerability in front of the Uchiha, because he would think less of her for it. If she somehow found him to be a comforting presence, he wouldn’t push her away, even if he had to deal with the consequences later.


Her arms tightened against his back and he reciprocated, holding her as close as he dared, knowing it would be the only time he ever would.


Sakura held on to him tightly, not wanting to accept that tomorrow she would have to let him go forever. The moment his strong arms had come around her the tears just wouldn’t stop. He had come to be very important to her. They all had, but she felt her bond with Deidara was special, because he understood her better than the others. Itachi was her lover, and there was an unspoken connection between them, but Deidara was her friend, and she would miss him terribly when he was gone.


A few minutes later she finally loosened her hold around him though she didn’t let go, and she pulled back slightly with another small sniffle. His hand moved from her hair to join the other around her back.


He watched her tear-stained features with an intensity she had never felt from him before. Her insides fluttered sharply, for though she had never seen him look at her that way, she knew it for what it was. Something stirred within her, something that was best left unexplored. Had it happened earlier, before everything, she may have welcomed this turn, but it was too late now, and she realized that things were going to get very complicated very quickly if they continued to stand there with their arms around each other.


Slowly she disentangled herself, surprised at her reluctance to do so, and his arms returned to his sides as if he was thinking the exact same thing. Unwilling to just walk away and leave things so awkward between them, she looked at his face again and smiled, which he eventually returned with a small, ironic smirk. “Thank you so much for everything, Deidara.” On a final impulsive indulgence, she leaned in and placed a soft kiss near the corner of his mouth, lingering perhaps a second too long to be entirely innocent. “Goodnight,” she whispered, stepping away at last.


“Goodnight,” he replied quietly. She turned and walked away, scarf in hand, eventually disappearing down the dark hallway. Alone again, he stared at the fire and rubbed the back of his neck with a long, weary sigh, the feel of her soft lips still lingering on his cheek.

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She didn’t want to spend the night thinking and analyzing, she wanted to live and create memories to keep with her forever, so she pushed the questions about what had almost happened back there out of her mind and dropped her scarf in her room before making her way to Itachi’s.


She entered quietly and closed the door behind her with a soft click. The room was dark save for the orange light of the stove and she paused for a moment to enjoy the feel of warmth sinking into her skin.


She felt him come up behind her and she closed her eyes with a soft smile as he wrapped an arm around her stomach. She shivered at the feel of his hot breath against her neck and his lips grazed over the shell of her ear. His hand splayed over her flat abdomen and his fingertips teased under the hem of her shirt as he placed a kiss against the side of her neck. Starting at her shoulders, he slowly slid her open cloak down her arms and removed it, setting it aside before walking around to stand in front of her.


He looked at her with a mildly curious expression and brushed his thumb across her cheek along the soft skin under her eye. She realized she must still have traces of tears on her face, and she saw the bit of moisture on his thumb when he lowered his hand to trace along the side of her neck. He didn’t ask what had made her cry and she was grateful she didn’t have to explain anything. It was probably fairly obvious anyway.


Emboldened by the knowledge that tonight would be their last, she eased her fingers under the hem of his shirt, hooking her thumbs over the fabric as she began to caress up the smoothly muscled planes of his stomach and chest, taking his shirt up as she went. He smirked and raised his arms obligingly as she brought his shirt up over his torso, allowing her to remove it. She palmed over his chest and shoulders, closing the small distance between them, trailing her lips along his jaw and the underside of his chin before capturing his lips between hers.


He was amused by her forwardness, and he showed it with a low rumble in his chest that was almost a chuckle as he reached for the zipper of her shirt and slowly tugged it down. Her tongue slid along his lower lip before she caught it between her teeth and sucked gently. He responded by meeting her tongue with his and sliding her now open shirt off of her shoulders as he had done with her cloak, until only a thin dark camisole remained. It left almost nothing to the imagination and she wasn’t wearing a bra, and he smirked as he watched her nipples tighten under the nearly sheer cloth as they were exposed to the cooler air.


His arms slipped around her waist and pulled her into him, her small, perfect breasts pressing against his bare chest deliciously. She sighed softly into his mouth and worked his hair free of its tie, something she always did and he had found that he liked when she did it. She was soft and warm and highly responsive, and he wanted so much to take her right now, standing here, on the floor, against the wall, on the bed, he didn’t care; he just wanted her. She made him feel reckless, she could shatter his control in a way no one else ever had, and he had thought that perhaps, only with her, like this, it wasn’t really so terrible or weakening. But they had no time left, no time to contemplate and explore these new things he had once thought impossible for him; there was only tonight.


His hand pressed against the small of her back and he began to walk backwards toward the bed. She moved with him, somewhat awkwardly, refusing to break an inch from where she pressed against him. He slowly sat down on the bed and she stood between his knees, her hands twisting in his long hair as his thumbs caressed over her hipbones. His fingers slipped under the waistband of her pants and met in the middle, unbuttoning them and slowly sliding them down over her hips and thighs to pool at her feet. She stepped out of them, kicking her boots off in the process, and now she stood before his lustful gaze in only her flimsy cami and small, dark panties. His calloused hands moved up her toned thighs and over her rear before settling on her waist. He pulled her forward a little until his nose touched her flat stomach. He kissed just below her navel and followed up with a light nip of his teeth and she smirked sexily and ran her nails lightly over the back of his neck.


She was sure he would continue downward, but he didn’t, and she watched curiously as he simply rested his forehead against her abdomen and closed his eyes. It was strange behavior from him, but he had been acting a bit strange all day, so she remained quiet and waited for his next move. After a moment he opened his eyes but they stayed fixed absently on the skin of her stomach, and his hold on her waist tightened and pulled downward, letting her know what he wanted. She placed her knee on the mattress beside his thigh and lowered herself to straddle his lap. His hands slipped under her camisole and moved over her back as he began to suck and nibble on the side of her neck.


She lowered her head toward him, resting her forehead against his shoulder with a sigh as he sent shivers up and down her spine with his hands and mouth. Her hands caressed over his smooth back, fingers applying slight pressure and nails occasionally grazing, causing his muscles to ripple slightly under her touch. Again his ministrations paused and he rested his head against her neck this time. Something was…off, about him. She bent her head and angled her face toward his, running her fingers through his hair in an unconsciously comforting gesture. “Itachi…?”


His grasp on her waist tightened for a moment and he raised his head to meet her gaze. His mask was gone, completely, and she felt a small shock at seeing a truly unguarded expression on his handsome face. His eyes were clouded and his brow dipped in a small frown. He threaded his fingers into her hair and removed her hitai-ate. He held on to it, staring at the engraved leaf symbol for a long moment, before looking away and staring unfocussed at a point near her shoulder. “I’m so tired,” he murmured softly, absently, as if to himself.


Sakura’s eyes widened in surprise at his words, and then her expression softened as their meaning became clear to her. His words implied far more than the result of years of insomnia. That one small phrase expressed everything in its simplicity. It explained his strange behavior lately, and why he seemed so calm and accepting of what was to come. He had brilliantly orchestrated this entire series of events, and now his true intention became clear and revealed itself. He had planned everything, everything except for her. He knew what was coming with the morning and he wanted it to happen; he had hinted it that night in the cave.


He was tired…and he was ready for it to end.


“Do you believe in destiny? That everything happens the way it’s supposed to in the end, even if we don’t understand it at the time?” she asked softly, still running her fingers through his hair.


His eyes met hers again, and he sighed and thought a moment before answering. “I never did. My destiny was to be a pawn, a tool in the in the hands of my power-hungry clan. I was better than that, better than all of them, and I made my own path. But now…after everything that has happened, I can no longer say it’s not possible that I was meant for this path from the beginning. I now believe that the events of my life have led me here, to this point, and that while I thought I was defying my fate I was following it all along.”


Sakura frowned slightly. “If that’s true…then, your fate was entwined with Sasuke’s all along…and he was always meant to leave,” she whispered.


He gave a small, accepting nod. “I believe that to be true, now. And I believe that tomorrow I will die by my brother’s hand…as he deserves…as was always meant to be.”


She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again when no words would form. She couldn’t believe she was hearing this, but at the same time she knew in her heart that he was telling the truth. It was surreal to be here, sitting on her dangerous lover’s lap and in his arms, listening calmly while he talked about his impending death without feeling any of the shock and horror that such a topic would normally bring. It wasn’t that she didn’t care, she didn’t even particularly want him to die…it was just the way it had to be. Because if he didn’t…


He saw her confused and troubled expression. “I have accepted my fate, Sakura, and I have no regrets,” he said calmly.


She nodded slowly, eventually giving him a small, sad smile. It was so strange to see him like this, the true Itachi, without the mask he wore to the world. She didn’t think anyone would believe her if she told them, not that she ever would. But many things could change in the mind and actions of a man faced with his death. She was moved that he trusted her and was comfortable enough to let go in front of her. He was still not very expressive or emotional, but he never had been even before he became a missing nin; it just wasn’t in him. His clan had seen to that. He’d said he was tired, and she could truly see it now, and her compassionate heart couldn’t help but be moved by it.


His hand tightened over her hip, and she slowly lowered her head to press her lips against his. She heard her hitai-ate clank dully against the stone floor as he dropped it and his other hand came up to roam over her back as their kissed deepened and intensified. She felt the heat begin to pool in her belly and she pressed her hips into his with a soft murmur of pleasure.


He broke away after a moment and focused his intense gaze on her face. “Sakura…” he murmured. “What you said to me the night you first came to my room…” he sighed, seeming to struggle a bit with what he wanted to say. “Tonight, just once in my life, I want to be…just a man.”


She looked at him with understanding in her eyes. For just one night, possibly his last, he wanted to cast off the mighty Uchiha name, the legend, the infamy, and everything he had become and just be the man underneath. To be only himself, just Itachi; it was probably something he’d been denied since he was a small child, and she was probably the only one who could give it to him. It was probably more than he deserved. But she found that she wanted to give him this one final thing. She gave him a small nod and saw some unreadable thought flicker in his dark eyes before he grabbed her head in his hands and crushed his mouth to hers.


His tongue teased against hers before entering her mouth hungrily. She caught his bottom lip between hers and gently sucked it into her mouth, and he made a small groan and tilted her head at an angle, allowing him to deepen the kiss even further. She felt another flood of heat to her core and ground her hips against his lap, becoming frustrated that they were not at a good angle to further such contact.


He smirked and held her still, enjoying how easily aroused she was and amused by her impatience. They had all night, and he was going to make sure that he burned every kiss, every touch and sensation into her memory. He would make sure that she would never forget this night or his touch for as long as she lived. It would be the only thing he left behind that wasn’t tainted by his darkness.


His mouth trailed down the side of her neck, sucking and nibbling, his hot breath giving her delicious chills. She raked her short nails up his back, knowing he liked the pleasure-pain it caused. His hands moved over her sides, the backs of his fingers ghosting over her skin as he delicately raised her camisole up. His knuckles grazed along the soft skin on the underside of her arms as she raised them and he lifted the light fabric over her head. The soft touch of his hands and the heat of his eyes on her exposed breasts gave her another series of chills, at the same time her body flushed with heat and she found it very difficult to sit still under that lustful gaze. His hands moved down her sides again, following the soft curve of her breasts until he cupped them in his rough palms. His thumbs rubbed against the taut peaks and she bit her lip with a soft moan and arched against his hands.


He leaned into her and pressed his mouth against the hollow of her collarbone, tongue delving and tasting the soft skin before working up the column of her throat. One of his hands found its way to her hair and tugged gently, pulling her head back and making her back arch as he nipped the spot just below her ear, his other hand never leaving her breast, nimble fingers teasing and pinching the rosy bud and eliciting soft mewls of pleasure from her. She squirmed; trying to grind against him but their angle wouldn’t allow it, so she gripped his shoulders and tried to force him down on the bed. Without chakra her strength was no match for his and he resisted and caught hold of her with a low chuckle. “Slow down, Sakura,” he murmured against her lips. “We’re just getting started.”


The low, primal tone of his words made her core tighten sharply, and she willed herself to relax and be patient as his lips sealed over hers in a slow, heated kiss. His tongue met hers and she melted into his arms once more. His hands returned to her breasts and she arched into him as his mouth moved down over her throat and chest. He kissed softly over the silky mound and drew the nipple his fingers had been teasing into his mouth, sucking gently. She emitted a ragged, breathy sigh as his tongue circled the peak and she wound her fingers into his hair, holding him to her. Her other breast was not neglected and he kneaded the soft flesh and rolled the bud between his fingertips. She tried once more to grind into him but he still wouldn’t change the angle of his hips. She knew he was very aroused, she could feel it straining hard against his pants under her rear, but he was enjoying working her into a panting and writhing frenzy too much to give her what she so desperately wanted.


His mouth switched to her other breast, tongue circling and lapping before drawing the nipple between his teeth and closing gently over the hard peak. She gasped and squirmed against him, fingers clawing his strong shoulders. It wasn’t fair what he was doing to her, she wanted to reciprocate and take it further. She reached down between them and grasped the button of his pants, quickly pulling it open and reaching her fingertips inside the waistband. He caught her hand and gave her a reproving look and a smirk without removing his mouth from her breast. The sight of that alone, his intense hypnotic eyes looking up at her with his amazing mouth still attached to her nipple was enough to make heat flood to her center and she whimpered softly. Why was he teasing her so much?


He released his hold on her wrist and slipped his fingers under the edge of her panties. She gasped and rolled her hips forward, and his thumb pressed against her making her let out a low, primal moan. His dexterous fingers moved over her folds and rubbed against the hot opening. Sakura felt like she was on fire, every nerve ending was burning and aching for his touch, and she cried out in pleasure as two fingers slipped inside her slowly. She jerked her hips and rubbed against his hand, finally feeling that long denied friction as his fingers moved in and out of her and his thumb rubbed circles over that heated spot, sending wave after wave of pleasure through her body. His thumb and fingers pressed against both sides of the white hot bundle of nerves and he closed his teeth over her nipple again, and in no time at all she was toppling her over the edge with a strangled cry, pulsing tightly around his fingers as she bucked her hips against his hand.


She panted against his neck as she came down from her orgasm, her heart racing. When she finally raised her head and met his burning gaze, the predatory look she saw in his eyes sent a sharp jolt straight to her core and she felt the heat building again. She was amazed by how fast and easily he could bring her to the edge. He didn’t even have to make an effort, all he had to do was look at her like that and she was filled with desire for him. But he did make an effort; such amazing, deliciously torturous effort, and it made her pleasure even more intensely sweet.


He smirked, pleased by her flushed face and darkened, lust clouded eyes, and pulled her against him as he rolled them over, slipping her pleasure-soaked panties over her hips and removing them on the way. He settled between her legs and hovered over her, and she trailed her fingers over his chest and looked at him with a small pout. “No fair,” she murmured, and he raised a brow in amused curiosity. She ran her fingers down his firm stomach and once more tugged on the waist of his dark pants. “Take them off,” she said, and the low, seductive tone of her voice almost made him comply. Instead he ignored her command with dark chuckle and began to kiss and nibble his way down her neck and chest.


His lips trailed hot teasing kisses down the center of her chest and stomach, his tongue leaving a trail of moisture along her smooth skin that cooled when exposed to the air of the room. Her pulse quickened and her breathing became shallow with anticipation as he continued to kiss lower and lower. His hands grasped her hips and slid over the backs of her thighs, and she felt his hot breath a moment before his mouth ghosted along the inside of her leg. She felt the soft nip of his teeth on the sensitive skin of her inner thigh and she gasped and jerked her hips involuntarily.


When his mouth finally found her center she sucked in a sharp breath, and when his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud she moaned raggedly and threw her head back, fingers gripping into the sheets. It took all of her willpower not to thrash and buck her hips upward as his tongue explored over and between the folds of her womanhood, coming back to circle around the hot bundle of nerves, closing it gently between his lips. Her thighs were trembling in ecstasy, her hips jerking upward of their own accord. She was so close already; she didn’t know how much more she could take. She cried out sharply when once again he slipped two fingers inside her and began thrusting them in time with the circling of his tongue, his other hand holding her hips down to keep her from thrashing as she moaned wildly. She came almost instantly, hard and white hot, clawing the sheets with a white-knuckled grip. Her hips jerked violently against his mouth as he continued to ravish her with his tongue and fingers, extending and drawing out her release as she gasped and cried out loudly.


She lay there panting for breath and he moved from between her shaking legs. She couldn’t manage to focus a single coherent thought, other than that she’d already had two incredibly intense orgasms and he hadn’t even removed his pants yet. Could she even handle any more? She was more than willing to find out, and she slid her hands along his muscular arms and over his shoulders as he finally removed his pants and positioned himself above her. He eased his tip inside her and she lifted her hips eagerly, and with one slow, smooth thrust he sank in all the way. He made a low growl against her neck and she moaned and lifted her legs around his waist to further their contact, grinding against him slowly as she felt the heat coil within her once again.


He moved in a smooth, steady rhythm, and she lifted her hips to meet each deep thrust. He gripped one of her thighs and lifted her leg up until her knee was against her shoulder, her other leg still wrapped around him, allowing him to fill her completely and grind against her center, making her moan and writhe under him. His fingers found their way into her hair and twined around the strands as he turned her head and captured her mouth with his. Their tongues moved together and she tasted traces of herself, and found that she didn’t mind. His rhythm began to quicken and she ground her hips upward to meet him, her body needing that amazing friction. The coil tightened and burst within her, and she came again with a muffled scream as she bit down on his shoulder and rode up into his thrusts. He followed almost immediately, the tight pulsing of her hot center setting him off, and he tightened his grip in her hair and groaned into her neck with a shudder.


He didn’t move except to release her leg and she lowered it to his side. He remained inside her, wrapping an arm around her waist and resting his head against her collar as they came down slowly. She brought her arms over his shoulders and ran her fingers through his hair, waiting for her breathing to return to normal. They lay like that for several minutes, and he was so still she wondered for a moment if he had fallen asleep. She turned her head to see his face and saw that his beautiful dark eyes were open, though unfocussed against her collar. He felt her gaze on him and looked up. She gave him a soft, satisfied smile, and was surprised when he returned it with a barely perceptible curling of his lips before he looked away and his gaze lost focus once more. She traced her fingers down his back and enjoyed the feel of their bodies pressed together as they lay there in silence.


A few minutes later she felt him stir, and he began placing soft, trailing kisses over her collar and chest as his hand caressed over her hip. His lips brushed over her nipple and took it into his mouth, making it instantly tighten and she sighed with pleasure. She felt him grow hard inside her, a new sensation but one that felt amazing, and soon he began to slowly rock against her until he was fully thrusting into her. She moaned and lifted her hips. She couldn’t believe that tightness was building within her again. He raised himself up on his elbows and their eyes met as he continued to move inside her, the intimacy it created increasing the erotic sensations racing through her body. His arm slipped under her and locked around her waist as he dipped his head to capture her lips, and the next thing she knew he had rolled them over and she was on top of him, his hard length still inside her. Her tongue played with his and she waited for him to take control and move her body, but he didn’t, his hands merely caressed over her hips and ass and she realized that he was going to let her take control; that he wanted her to.


It was another surprise from him, but equally as welcome as the others and she eagerly began to move in a sensuous rhythm against him, lifting and rocking her hips as their tongues continued their dance. She sat up and continued her grinding rhythm, never breaking eye contact. It was amazingly erotic and she felt incredibly empowered to have such a sexy, powerful man under her, his expression one of obvious pleasure and desire. His hands caressed up her sides and cupped her breasts as she rode him, and when he rolled her nipples between his fingers she threw her head back and moaned, moving against him harder and faster than before. Her nails dug into his chest as she felt herself racing toward the edge, and she flung herself forward and crushed her lips to his as wave after wave of pleasure rolled over her and she cried into his mouth as he gripped her hips and drove her down onto him hard. She felt him pulsing inside her and knew she had just taken him over the edge with her and she ground against him harder to intensify his release. He let out a strangled groan and lifted his hips up into her, jerking her down onto him roughly in a final deep thrust.


She collapsed on top of him, panting against his neck, and she could hear his heart pounding in his chest as hard as her own. She went to move off of him but he held her down with a soft hiss, so she remained still and lay against him until they had both fully recovered. When she finally moved off she immediately collapsed again at his side with a small, exhausted laugh. He turned to his side and she curled up against him, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder and laying a hand against his firm chest. The hand under her head found its way to her hair and twined into the soft strands, the other pulling the blankets over their naked, sweating bodies before wrapping around her.


Sakura was exhausted, physically and mentally, but she found that she couldn’t even think about sleep. There was so little time left in this surreal life she had grown so accustomed to, and she didn’t want to waste it sleeping. She knew he would not sleep this night, and she would stay awake and wait for the dawn with him, absorbing every last moment and locking it within her heart.

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They passed the hours before dawn like that, in silence, lying skin to skin in the warmth of his bed, his fingers combing through her short pink hair as she lay against his chest for the last time. She had no idea of the hour but trusted that he would.


When he stirred and gently pressed her onto her back, she met his calm dark eyes and knew it was time. He bent to kiss her, and she responded eagerly, their lips and tongues moving soft and slow and unhurried. After several blissful moments he slowly moved away, and she lay there and watched him dress before getting up and doing the same. She felt oddly calm, almost numb, without the dread and impending panic she had felt the day before. She would accept whatever happened this day, knowing she could do nothing to change it. The overwhelming sense of fate had taken hold of her and muted her fears. She wondered if this was how he had felt the entire week.


When they were both ready, fully dressed and cloaked, Itachi stood before her and gazed intently at her face. She reached up and brushed a strand of his re-tied hair out of his eyes. Her eyes were bright and crystalline in the dim light, and he grazed his thumb along her cheek. “Sakura…” he said very quietly. “I would have given you more if I could.”


She fought to keep her eyes from watering. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it was probably as close as he could ever get, and she was grateful. She smiled softly to cover the tremble in her lip. “I know,” she whispered. “And I would have saved you if I could.”


She saw an emotion he would never be able to express openly pass behind his eyes, and he gave her a small nod. “Thank you,” he whispered. A memory of another time those same words had been said to her flashed in her mind, and just like that time, there were so many meanings behind it that she may never fully understand them all.


He traced her jaw with his fingertip, and bent his head to capture her lips. Sakura sighed and melted into his arms, pouring everything she had into the kiss, taking everything he could give in return. This kiss, their last kiss, she would lock the memory of it in her heart and treasure it forever.


After an eternal moment that passed far too quickly, their lips finally parted. Their faces remained close, and she kept her eyes closed and breathed in his scent one last time. She felt him take hold of her hand and a moment later she felt the press of something hard against her palm. She slowly opened her eyes and looked down.


It was his necklace.


Her eyes shot back to his face in wide-eyed surprise. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say, so she simply stared at him with a mixture of confusion and sadness, again fighting against the stinging in her eyes. He closed her fingers over the metal, still warm from his skin, and brought his other hand up to gently grasp her chin. “Don’t cry for me, Sakura,” he said softly. “And don’t regret.”


She closed her eyes and nodded, and when she opened them and met his gaze again his eyes were mesmerizing, hypnotic crimson. The color of blood. The man she had spent the night with was gone, and the mighty Uchiha Itachi stood before her once more.


It was time to go.


Itachi turned to the door, opening it and calmly walking out into the hall. Sakura took a deep, ragged breath and followed after him.


When they reached the common room they found the others waiting, cloaked and ready, prepared for battle. The dim light from the single window showed that the sky was just beginning to lighten, and that it was snowing.


She met Deidara’s pale eyes and held them, so many things passing between them and yet so much would forever be left unsaid. She fought the deep welling in her heart and smiled at him. After a long moment he smiled back, but it didn’t reach his eyes.


She looked at them all, standing there, and felt her heart breaking. Whether they lived or died, she would never see any of them again, and if she ever did, it would once again be as enemies.


They turned to leave, but before anyone moved she impulsively walked to Kisame and flung her arms around his thick middle. His eyes widened in surprise, but after a long moment of confusion he awkwardly patted the top of her pink head which barely reached his chest.


“What was that about?” he asked, bewildered, when she stepped away.


She shrugged and gave him a simple smile. “You’re the only one I haven’t hugged yet.” He laughed, and the others chuckled softly as well.


Finally, they turned as a group and walked down the dark hallway, a silent death march, then pulled open the heavy front door and stepped out into blinding white.

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A/N: ::sighs:: It's almost over folks… :(


And yes, Itachi was a bit ooc; that was the point. If you don’t understand why or how it was fitting, then I’m afraid you missed the meaning of that scene, and really the entire chapter, and if that’s the case I apologize I couldn't convey it better.