The Restricted Section

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do not own the basis for the story idea “The Restricted Section”.


The Restricted Section
By 11


Chapter 17

“I say he’s an idiot.”

“That’s awful Temari.” Hinata muttered angrily. The whole table mostly silent in the mourning period customary in people who have received news of someone’s death.

“I also think this depressing silence is stupid.” Temari sighed, slimping back in her chair. Her girlfriend wrinkled her nose and did not dignify the comment with a response.

Personally Shikamaru also had the idea that the oppressive silence was stupid, mainly since it made him want to get up and leave – find a place more positive to sit and do nothing.

“Is this really an effective way of giving dead their respect or something? I mean seriously, why are we doing this? I’m sure we all have a ton of interesting, positive, things to discuss, talk about and so on.”

Hinata sighed. “Naruto’s brother just died. Doesn’t that make you just a little upset? Doesn’t bother you at all?”

“No one knows how to deal with death.” Temari stated. “Most people are pretty isolated from it – we have hospitals, we have old people’s homes, and cemeteries are usually far away from homes and business areas.”

“The living want nothing to do with it – it’s depressing.”

“You’re also going to die one day.” Hinata reminded her, “Don’t you want people to respect your death too?”

“I cried for a day.” Temari stated, “I don’t want it to happen but I can’t prevent it or anything. So just live normally – that’s what we all do normally anyway. Naruto should do the same at this point.”

“But his brother died. It hasn’t even been a week!” Hinata argued, “Don’t you care at all?”

“No.” She answered truthfully, “Really don’t.”

Hinata frowned truly angry with the blond, one of the rare occurrences, but this time she felt she’d really overstepped boundaries of respect and humane behavior.

“I never met the guy, and of course I never will,” the girl sighed, turning away from her girlfriend’s unhappy glare. “I find it very hard to care or be sympathetic under these circumstances. You didn’t know him either – how can you be so upset?”

“Naruto’s upset too, and I care about Naruto – of course I’m upset by it.” Hinata told her seriously.

“What’s most important now is the living.” Temari stated, “He was a vegetable – he was basically already dead.”

Hinata scowled angrily. “What Naruto should do now is just get over it and move on with life – that’s all anyone ever does, it’s all people are capable of.” Temari explained.

“If he dwells on it like you want us to, it just gets worse and then you become incapable of living.”

“That’s not true.” Hinata shook her head, “There is always a mourning period. People take time to work through these things! He can’t just ‘get over it’ in one day!”

“He was already dead as far as human interaction goes.” Temari argued. “I don’t believe in wasting life, like two morons I could name, moaning and mourning and pining after something that they can’t obtain or do nothing to obtain.”

Hinata scowled darkly. “Maybe it takes you a day to get over your own mortality, but for most people it’s a process and it can take a lot of time before they can move on.”

“It just wastes so much energy – that’s why I said it’s stupid.” Temari shook her head.

“What about being angry?” Shikamaru wondered. The blond seemed to spend a lot of her time in other moods as well – so what was worth time and energy if that was her view?

“Same thing.” She quipped back, “Although I do agree that it can take a short period to vent out the rage, but beyond that I still think it’s best to just get over it and move on. End of story.”

“That’s a pretty harsh outlook.” Hinata said icily.

The blond rolled her eyes. “I’m just being honest. I told you my philosophy on life before you know. I still think it’s a really good way to live.”

“I didn’t know at that time that it included having no respect for the dead.” Hinata stated.

“Actually I myself would have to agree with your friend Temari here, Hinata.”

“Tsunade!” Hinata started at the woman’s voice as she pulled up a chair, “The diner?”

“Not a very busy time of day, and the tables are taken care of. I have a minute. You’re all discussing Kyuubi?” she wondered.

“Hinata would prefer we all stay silent in respect.” Temari pointed to the girl who glared back.

“Well you can all go the funeral but…” the woman shrugged. “I have to agree, someone’s death is no excuse to cut work, or use as an excuse to lash out at people.”

“If they’re hurting it makes perfect sense – they should just be given their space and left alone.” Hinata frowned, perturbed at having someone she once thought a mostly responsible adult contradict her.

“Oh so it’s fine to point out some ones weaknesses and rebuke them for it?” Tsunade wondered sarcastically, “It’s okay that he pushes people away when they try to help him, or understand. Yesterday Sasuke went to see him at work.”

“Really?” Temari grimaced. “Oh my god…”

“Naruto didn’t even tell him what had happened. He called him a bunch of awful names too according to Jiraiya and accused him of only talking to him so he could screw him.” Tsunade spat the words angrily.

“Oh but his brother died, so I guess it’s okay.”

“That’s really unsympathetic Tsunade,” Hinata accused, “Surely… no… Sasuke wouldn’t do something strange after all this… so…? But his brother did die!”

“And the brat’s brother has pretty much been dead since he was ten.” Tsunade muttered. Temari nodded at that thought.

“I guess Naruto went after him, but still,” Tsunade insisted, “It’s no excuse no matter how much pain you’re in to put others through the same or worse. People who do that do not end up happy. Ever.”

Hinata frowned. She still found this whole topic unnerving – and felt horribly like she couldn’t really defend the blond adequately like this. “But still – it was his twin.” She insisted.

“They lived independent of each other for years.” Temari sighed.

Hinata sighed in frustration, “Still shouldn’t he be allowed some period of grief or solitude? I mean he had a day.”

“No,” Tsunade snapped, “It’s more important that he not be an idiot. The more he dwells on in the more that ‘grief’ will stay with him. If he’s going to be bastard just because someone’s dead he’ll be alone by the time he does get over it – if ever.”

“The sooner he’s over it, the better.” Temari nodded.

Hinata shrunk in her seat and frowned, pressing her lips tight. “You’re both so uncaring!”

Temari sighed and let her head fall back against the booth seat. No one here had ever even met Kyuubi. All they even knew about the guy was that Naruto and him were twins, and apparently Kyuubi looked after him.

When they left their foster home, Naruto from that point lived on independent of his twin – he had no choice then. He grew up without him. Kyuubi – as far as the living were concerned he was a ghost.

She wasn’t lying – it was pretty darn difficult to care about someone who meant nothing to you. Temari never met him, never knew him, neither she or anyone here was even really capable of forming any emotional attachment to him.

Even now Naruto’s awareness, she figured, was probably more of a distant childhood sibling that he doesn’t really know anymore.

“I knew these twin brothers once, my uncle’s buddies or something,” Tsunade started in the lapsed silence. Her speech concentrated toward Hinata. “When one brother died, the other didn’t go to his funeral.”

Hinata started. “That’s terrible!”

“Is it?” Tsunade wondered calmly, “He was afraid you know. Sad of course, but worse he was scared of seeing his own body lying there.”

Temari wondered at that, Naruto had actually seen that body die hadn’t he? Had that crossed his mind as well.

“And the corpse stared back, and the woman was taken aback, she asked the minister of lead, ‘Will I look like that when I am dead?’ and the minister of lead answered her dread, ‘You will look like that when you are dead.’ ”

Some children’s poem she half-remembered. Had Naruto considered the same when his brother died? ‘Kyuubi’ just a name, and a body emptied from long ago.

She wondered then if Naruto could comprehend that the person who died was someone he didn’t even know anymore – a person who no longer existed.

`

Warm.

That wasn’t right, he was supposed to be cold?

Comfort.

But he was numb wasn’t he?

Safe.

But he was dead?

Blue eyes cracked open. That’s right. He wasn’t the one who was dead, his shadow, that one had died. He was still here. How long had it been since then? It felt like an eternity, he felt too alive.

The room spun as he sat up, the warm slightly salty smell of bacon and eggs wafted through. This wasn’t his apartment. He was still at Sasuke’s place. It had now been… three days.

He stood up and all the life seemed to drain back out. If he laid back down again maybe it would seep back into him from whatever invisible source he’d stolen it from in the first place.

In this kitchen he could see Sasuke’s back, he was slicing fruit, the stove crackling with the meat. The eggs already sat in a steaming plate.

Pale fingers let bits of orange and cantaloupe to the counter where the tiny reptile squashed them in his tiny jaws enough to swallow down.

The other had since gotten a pair of pants on, bare feet on the tiles. Naruto found all his clothes in place though; he hadn’t taken them off at all whenever it was they fell asleep.

“I’m sorry.” Sasuke started when he realized that Naruto had entered the kitchen area. “I just checked my messages…” he didn’t face him, “Sorry.”

He thought he should say more, but as it was he couldn’t think of anything that would be right to say. What could he say? What did anyone say besides that they were sorry?

“No. I figured you didn’t know.” Naruto told him, stepping up behind him, facing the muscles of his back. “I said some awful things. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay… I know.”

“No, it’s no excuse. You didn’t do anything.”

“I should have left you alone.”

Naruto’s forehead touched to Sasuke’s shoulder. He hadn’t realized he’d been leaning forward but it didn’t matter he didn’t want to pull away – his skin was so warm. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

“I don’t want to be alone. Not really.” The blond confided, “I thought I did.” Because he couldn’t even concentrate on the hollowness and keep it intact unless he was alone. But he didn’t want that emptiness.

He wasn’t the dead one. Kyuubi… he’d been dead, in a way. He’d been gone for eight years. Only now it was official – he wasn’t ever coming back.

He should have been the dead one, he had felt so dead, but he was still alive. He still wanted to be alive. What was so terrible then?

Pale pasty skin, blue eyes blank and lifeless staring back at him. Blond hair matted and thick against an empty skull. All as if rotting from the inside out. It was like watching himself die, seeing his own corpse.

Would he look like that when he was dead. Yes. He would die one day, and that would be his corpse. He would look just like that too when he died.

He didn’t want that hollowness. Sakura could have been the one to hold him, to drive away the numbness and make sure he was still alive. Hinata’s hand across his forehead breathed consciousness to him.

Now Sasuke’s body in front of him, this live pulsing thing yielded touch and comfort. Feeling warm skin beneath his own he could confirm that he too still lived.

It was an insult that he couldn’t care more, but the numbness it brought was not what he wanted.

He acknowledged it, so couldn’t he go on living – he wouldn’t forget. He couldn’t – that was impossible. So for now couldn’t he alleviate the growing emptiness inside of him?

“Do you want an orange too?” Sasuke asked, perhaps unnerved at the silence, though he made no move to turn away Naruto’s head resting against him.

“Sure.”

He grew up without him. He was just his shadow. Eight years, and his memory was so eroded of those years – all he could remember was that diluted childhood, when they left. Then Tsunade, and Kyuubi was gone.

He lived with Tsunade and that was all. He met Sakura in high school – and Kyuubi wasn’t there. He only started visiting his body in the hospital on a semi-regular basis once he started paying the hospital bills, instead of Tsunade, when he could.

Somehow his arms wound themselves around Sasuke’s torso, warmth seeping from Sasuke through his shirt bleeding into his skin. The surface shuddering ever so slightly with consciousness.

With his head bowed into the other’s shoulder he felt so much shorter, though they were probably the same height. This action was probably taboo considering all that had occurred between them, but right now there was no sexuality to the touch.

Sasuke wasn’t pushing him away either. It didn’t feel wrong, or unnatural. This was contact, assurance, comfort – it confirmed that he was still there.

He was still there. Kyuubi was dead. He was not. He was not, not yet. Kyuubi… he never even really knew him.

“I actually didn’t know him. Not well.” Naruto muttered, not even aware he was talking aloud at first. “My own brother, and the earliest memory I have is us running away from kindergarten. I still can’t think of specific words to describe him.”

“They found us of course, and life wasn’t terrible then, not for me anyway.” It didn’t even feel like a memory, more like a past life. And Kyuubi, his twin, a relic from that time. Something that tied him to an existence before everything that was important.

Tsunade, Sakura, Kiba, Neji, Hinata, Sasuke…

“I think he purposely talked back too, whenever they talked to us. I usually kept quiet, he’d try and get hurt. Then I’d cry and he’d just laugh, and he was fine. He was always fine.”

“He thought he knew everything I think. But he didn’t know anything, maybe he knew that too.”

“Even in school we didn’t spend class together, we had different people we sat with. The only time we were together was alone at the house, when we were scolded, and when we slept.”

Small house, one bed. Not uncommon. Sisters did it too, and younger children usually; and they had been young.

“I really didn’t know him at all.”

After he made them leave, they didn’t grow up together. That was eight years before now, almost nine. Nine years ago, and he was already gone, and Naruto grew up without him.

“He was already dead.”

He wasn’t even speaking to anyone. But hearing his own voice form the words somehow made it solid, made it tangible and just like a lead weight he dropped it on the ground. It kept falling down, down, ever downward, until he lost sight of it.

Then it was gone, it was poured out and he was done.

Naruto breathed, still holding the solid warmth of another against him. It didn’t feel particularly like this should be right. He should be more sad, he shouldn’t feel done. But he was done – he didn’t want it anymore.

Sasuke listened to the half-mumurs against his shoulder, and had stopped peeling the orange as he did so. After a moment of silence, he figured the blond wasn’t going to speak anymore.

He swallowed, he wasn’t sure what to do. How was he supposed to respond? How would anyone respond to that? What should he say, what should he do? He didn’t say anything. He just stayed still and didn’t say a word.

Naruto didn’t move either, his breath calm and periodic against his shoulder.

After a moment Sasuke continued peeling the orange, putting the pieces into the nearby bowl. Rinsed his hands in the sink, and then paused. Naruto hadn’t moved at all, hadn’t spoken again either.

Sasuke shifted and moved to detach Naruto’s arm from his middle, but the blond resisted the movement.

Don’t go.

The softest murmur against his skin, but he felt like he’d heard it; the ghost of a whisper.

Naruto’s grip stayed firm, he didn’t want to be alone yet. He didn’t know if he’d feel empty again when he pulled away. He just didn’t want that, he didn’t want that feeling too much like loneliness. He felt too comfortable now.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Sasuke told him, “You want to eat, though, right?” he offered, grinning, the laugh reaching his voice. In a way Naruto struck him as a bit child-like just now.

But after a moment, Naruto nodded and his arms fell back to his sides, his head drawing away from Sasuke’s shoulder. The paler youth moving toward the kitchen table, Naruto following after, seated adjacent to each other.

He felt like he should apologize, at least to the memory. A passed memory that he had already been forced to remove. They were done now; Kyuubi and Naruto had been done.

He just needed to keep living now. Kyuubi was dead. He was not.

`

Dark eyes stirred beneath closed lids as morning light began to filter through the window shades. His arms wound around a warm body nestled against his own, a bright pillow of gold just under Sasuke’s chin.

Sasuke moved his body backward to try and get a glimpse of the clock beside his bed, but tanner arms held him fast, resisting the motion that would take away that source of warmth and comfort. Falling back, the blond was still asleep.

Dark eyes fell shut again. So he really was still here. It felt like days, but it had probably been far less than that.

It was afternoon, and his body had no intention to wake itself until next sunrise. He’d been asleep but he still felt sleepy.

His arm moved back over the blond’s shoulder and his body grew lax again as sleep wound it’s way into the resting form, drifting off into sleep.

`

`

`

He moaned. He couldn’t remember his dream, or if he was still dreaming. Blue eyes opened past a haze of morning dark pale and silvery skin at his eyes, the line and muscular curve of the throat.

It moved again and he shivered, the other body pressing involuntarily forward. Somehow he began to feel he wasn’t dreaming, even with his hand moving slowly against a growing stiffness, his fingers wrapped against a jutting edge.

Sasuke moaned again, and those hips pushed forward filling his hand, his fingers moving over through the fabric, without his command.

It took a moment to blink back the haze of sleep, but Sasuke wasn’t awake yet himself. His hips rocked forward again, and Naruto felt the crease of the fabric, pressing it into him, running the length with his thumb.

That paler body curled toward him in response, and a quivering sigh hissed past pinked lips. Naruto felt heat running through him, his mouth so wet and unable to swallow. But he couldn’t stop moving.

Foreign, strange, new – these were all the only things he could apply to how his hands felt wrapped at this strange angle.

But the other’s hips rocked into him and Naruto was caught in the thrall of shivers through Sasuke’s skin. That arm winding tighter around his abdomen, tugged him closer.

Shifting his hand closer, moving anywhere over that tender hardening skin, and this body beside him quivered and pressed closer, a moan sliding past sleeping lips.

Naruto lay still enthralled in the sound and visual aspect of this sleeping person so evoked by this touch.

Sasuke stiffened and moaned, his hips rocking in quick succession to his hand. The barest of movement beneath closed lids. For a moment the dark glazed irises seemed to be revealed, but quickly fell back shut.

Naruto started when suddenly, the leg wrapped around his moved back, and that body moved to rest over him. Chest to chest, Sasuke’s face buried against Naruto’s neck, his hips never pausing in their insistent rhythm.

Naruto flushed, gripping the hardness of the other loosely. His teeth bit at his tongue, too much blood running through his cheeks. Sasuke’s skin was starting to shine with sweat, his hips moving too fast.

Naruto turned his face towards Sasuke, the other still looked half-asleep, though his eyes had begun to open a bit again, just the edge of dark irises showed past the eyelids.

Naruto shook under him with something he couldn’t be sure of. But he couldn’t stop himself, his hand still pressing back to every thrust, running up and down the length with every movement.

So somewhere between Sasuke’s subconscious and Naruto’s unwillingness to stop, blood ran hotter. Muscle clenched and turned, and bodies moved against each other without the full intention.

A white hot spool wound in tighter through him. The scent of sun and grass, golden strands around him, and the quiet sound of suppressed whimpers and moans trapped inside sweet-smelling throat sent electric shots jolting through every vein.

He breathed him in, and savored the feel of those warm cautious hands, meeting him – imagined, felt, as if they were touching every place on him.

His whole body pulled against the other, and with a final shuddering breath it was released.

Lengthy threads of long-held need. Sign of desire, whisper of emotion, and only the tiniest fraction he could ever give.

He relaxed his body against the other, eyes fully open now, vision only obscured by the golden color of flax and honey.

“You were awake?”

His husky, breathless voice met his ears. And Sasuke turned to face glassy blue eyes, tanned face flushed dark with red color.

He couldn’t help the lazy smile now permanently set into his face. In response, Sasuke’s arms wound closer around the other.

“That just made my top ten ways I like to wake up.”

It felt so right. It had been days, and somehow sharing hadn’t yet led to this. Perhaps it was inevitable, but more… there wasn’t any awkwardness to it where there might have been a week before.

Naruto turned at the soft sound of tiny feet moving over softness. “Ed?” he wondered turning his head.

The second pillow over, the blue Tokay turned it’s head to regard the boys with some irritation. So even the gecko was awake.

“Sorry,” Sasuke lifted his head to look back at the gecko, “Did we wake you, Ed?”

Naruto’s eyes rolled back to the other human, “You’re talking to a reptile?”

“He understands!” Sasuke laughed in protest, lifting himself from the blond to go to the bathroom – he needed to change these pants, so very much.

“I’ll just help myself to what’s in the fridge.” Naruto called as he got up from the bed too. He looked at his hand… it felt moist. He did something really weird… and only now was it finally sinking in.

Thank goodness the kitchen had a huge sink, and joy of joys, dishwasher soap which of course works best on anything!

It had felt weird. Very weird. Not necessarily bad though – that should probably be a more disturbing fact than it was.

Truthfully it hardly mattered right now. He was always so comfortable with Sasuke… almost always, always.

The milk was half-gone. They still had four eggs. No, Sasuke still had four eggs, this wasn’t Naruto’s house. Though he’d started to make that mistake already.

Today felt a lot like the yesterday, and the day before… except that he’d never woken up quite like that.

The soft of Sasuke’s mouth on his - irascible, devouring, tongue drawn against tongue – skin searing skin – past events. Similar, brief and treasured touches, these were becoming small, rarely thought of instances. It had become ‘normal’.

Normal, usual, expected. So he didn’t mind it when he heard Sasuke exit the bathroom, steam wafting into the hall. He heard him stand at the kitchen doorway, his reflection distorted in the metal of the counter pitcher.

Towel slung across his hips, pausing regarding the blond, smiling before bridging the distance. And Naruto didn’t even mind it when paler arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him close in embrace.

“I’m so glad you’re still here.” He breathed to the skin, forehead dropping slightly to rest on Naruto’s ever-so-slightly-shorter shoulder.

This was juxtaposed once before, this position.

“I’ve been meaning to ask actually…” Sasuke started uncertain. “Not sure if it was appropriate or whatever. But we’ve been like this a while.”

“I like you here.” He told him, and Naruto listened. “But, are you with me now?”
Naruto snorted, “Aren’t I here right now?”

“No, I mean…” Sasuke tried again, lips smiling against his skin. “What does this make us now? You don’t hate me…”

Unspoken: ‘and you didn’t freak out this morning.’

“Should I be sorry?”

Even though Naruto had been the one to continue it to that point. Blue eyes dropped shut examining himself.

“I don’t hate you.”

Everyone hurts someone at some point in their lifetime. It’s not a crime, it’s human; intentional or no.

“I never hated you.”

Don’t be sorry. I’m not.

`

His lips touched to his own. Pressing firmly, and he allowed it, his own mouth responding to the insistent pressure.

Black and blue fell shut, and the blond’s arms wound around paler shoulders. Lithe milky arms settling around Naruto’s hips.

Beyond the hot spice filling up his mouth, and the flesh searing through flesh, neither youth hardly noticed as their own limbs shed cloth and garment. A warm thick slick muscle filled up against his own tongue.

Pale hands gripped him closer, and he let it. Skin to skin burning between. Lips to lips, pinked and abused to scarlet color.

Thin pale fingers fisted through gold. Tanned fingers pressed against pale flesh leaving angry red marks.

Naruto gasped, feeling an insistent hardness digging against his leg. His head flew back and struck on wall, as Sasuke moved them against the support structure. A knee thrust between his legs he moaned as it cupped up against his own arousal.

Dark eyes glazed in lust, insistent tongue laving skin in hot milky clear burning. Blue eyes slipped shut again. Screwed up against the wall, against the heat, against the need, offset by the not-quite-foreign feel of a male member pressed to his leg.

When did they lose their shirts? Naruto hissed and arched when Sasuke’s knee ground against him, at the same moment his hands rose to press across Naruto’s hardening nubs.

Naruto felt stripes of sweat rolling across his skin, and struggled to draw breath as his skin seemed to wind tight around every part of him.

His loins burned and strained and he whined with the pressure, even as Sasuke pressed against him harder, tongue swiping across his chest.

Naruto shifted his legs and pressed forward, that pressure against his leg increasing as his leg rubbed over the hardness. He heard Sasuke moan and the other’s lips sealed over him, mouth filling with taste of winter, spice, and clear dripping heat.

Strong arms wrapped around him pulled them from the wall, and their bodies fell away the few instants, eternities, that it took to stumbled backward and forward into the bedroom.

Naruto’s back fell back to soft white sheets, pale skin, dark eyes and feather-black raven hair falling on top of him. Hips met hips – a sharp cry – chest to chest – a sighing hiss – lips to lips – a drowned out moan.

Hands tugged at his jeans, and somehow his own hands rose to the other’s, flipping them open and tugging down. A few brief wiggling moments before their bodies slid completely free of barriers.

Sasuke crawled back on top of him, and sealed his mouth to the blond’s, and Naruto let him. This had already gone so far but it was fine. This was Sasuke. So it was fine. So he let him.

Dark eyes raking over tanned skin, muscle, toning, every dip and curve, jutting bone and the golden skinned staff in a nest of curls. Naruto felt his face flush as his own eyes took in the other.

Pale lithe body, so much slimmer than his, with arcing abdominals, a thin ridge down his belly, hip bones that started to show through.

Arms set off at the shoulders toned, a few veins beginning to show snaking down his arms, a slender throat.

He swallowed examining the length of pale rigid flesh jutting against his member, his eyes blinked away but he could still feel the other’s hips on his, that same hardness and sensitive skin pressed to his own.

He felt his heart leap and quiver, and Sasuke’s lips moved across his throat. “I can’t stop…” Sasuke whispered, his voice shaking the vaguest tremor to his skin.

Blue eyes examined the fine tension in his arms as he perched over Naruto, his hips tensed as if fighting the urge to rock against him.

He was still burning. And this was fine. “So don’t.” he told him, moving his own hips up against the other in response. Sasuke hissed and fell back against him, his hips bucking against Naruto.

The blond cried out as their hips moved roughly together, and jolts of extreme violent pleasure lanced through every nerve.

Sasuke’s hot short breaths panted against his neck, billowing heat directly into his veins.

“…! …can- … can I…?”

Naruto could barely form coherent thought, every nerve scarred to life and immediate sensitivity and response. Red burning lust pouring through him.

“… in you…?”

Sasuke was asking a question. He recognized that, he knew what he was asking, it didn’t matter. Anything was fine now… this was Sasuke. As long as this boiling never left his skin.

“Yes.” One breath, final consent. Ask no more, all things he’d relent. Just stay this fiery rapture and ecstasy.

So he didn’t mind it when Sasuke tucked his legs around his backside. He cried out at the angle that allowed for better friction between their loins. His burning center of lust rubbing fervent now against that similar hardness he once found so disturbing.

He didn’t realize it until Sasuke’s wet slicked fingers moved to his entrance and pressed the tip inside. Naruto’s muscles seized up his system startled and reset.

Sasuke shushed against his neck and the blond gripped him tighter as those small slender fingers slid inside him and felt the size of watermelons.

He cried out and Sasuke’s lips touched to him in comfort. Naruto seized that and pressed into those lips, thrusting his tongue into that mouth.

Tasting winter, swallowing it up, not even heeding when saliva escaped his mouth and slid down his cheek. All that mattered was the distraction of that mouth and the hot muscle he coaxed to life inside.

All that mattered was this distraction, so he wouldn’t have to feel it as that huge, though very small, finger slid slowly all the way inside him. And he grunted and moaned in pain as it reached the knuckle and kept going.

A second fingertip pressed into him and he broke off with a yelp, his muscle clenching tightly around the intruders.

It was so foreign, so much more than anything else. That feeling of something inside him!

“Shh… it gets better, I promise.” Sasuke assured him, and his ears clung to the silken sound, anything to erase the stretching pain of his skin and muscle, as that finger slid in as well.

To the knuckle – a pained moan. Even further – and he groaned. Then a little more – and he hissed. Panting as he let that second finger sit a moment.

Sasuke’s lips moving over his neck, hips rocking against him in minute movements so as not to disturb the fingers inside him too much.

Naruto bucked his hips forward, and yelped – but at least the shot of liquid burning in his loins staved off the stretching irritation in his behind. He repeated the motion, clenching his teeth to keep back another shout.

Sasuke’s hips moved against him and Naruto moaned out load, hot ribbons of pleasure burning up his insides, even as Sasuke slipped a third finger inside of him.

The blond moved again and again, and Sasuke met him, grinding against him, their shafts leaking pale clear fluids. He removed his fingers and Naruto panted against him, head tossing as his hips moved against him, legs pulling them tight together.

Sasuke took only a moment to slick his shaft and roll his body down from where Naruto had them previously.

Blue eyes opened and looked up at him, his loins now wrapped close to Sasuke’s abdomen. The barest trace of fear and apprehension and then Sasuke started to press inside.

Naruto’s eyes widened and screwed shut as he gasped out and tried to arch away, his legs not loosing from around Sasuke’s back. Sasuke winced slightly, as he held him still, not yet pressing forward.

“I know it hurts, but it gets better,” he told him leaning down to press his lips to tanned cheeks, “Promise, really.”

Naruto hissed and then leaned up to catch his lips, arms winding tight around his back. His demanding mouth searing through Sasuke’s tongue and throat, dripping lust with the tiny vibrations of sound whimpering up the blond’s throat.

Sasuke pressed slowly inside and Naruto’s tongue played over the soft and silky texture of Sasuke’s mouth, accepting mouthfuls of his tongue like honey and clicking their teeth together until it stung.

Sasuke finally slid fully inside, and Naruto’s walls pulsed around him, matching the throbbing pulse in Naruto’s half-hard desire pressed to his stomach. Now he waited until the tension in Naruto’s jaw began to relax just a bit.

Just a little more Naruto, it won’t hurt for long. Soon it will feel really good, I’ll make you feel so good. Sasuke promised in his mind.

It felt so strange! It was the worst new sensation by far! Naruto felt his eyes prick with tears, but he wouldn’t shed them. He’d allowed this, he’d accepted it and practically asked for it. It just felt so strange.

So strange… it didn’t feel like that fist sized slab of flesh he’d seen earlier. No – this was like a telephone pole. He felt like he was being torn apart! Was he bleeding?!

It was slick and wet down there already, from some kind of lubricant, so he couldn’t tell. He felt his body shaking the burning heat from before waning and it was starting to scare him. Too much!

He was impaled. He was literally, physically, impaled!! It felt like he was dying, he was going to rip to shredded pieces!

But it’s Sasuke! It’s Sasuke. So it’s fine. Naruto’s mouth softened against Sasuke’s his fingers digging into the soft layers of pale skin. It was okay. This was fine…

Kind green eyes framed in a pale face, pink colored hair floating like cotton candy and falling softly against his face, even though it was raven-colored.

It’s okay.

Her soft silken voice whispered to him. Her warm comforting arms folded around him, though they were toned and pale and his.

It’s okay.

That’s right, this… this was fine. It actually wasn’t that bad now that he was getting used to the feeling. Slowly blue eyes opened, and Sasuke noted the slight relaxation of the blond’s jaw.

“It’ll feel good. I promise.”

Naruto’s body shook and a yelp tore out of his throat as Sasuke moved inside of him, pulling out and thrusting back in, his walls slick and wet, over Sasuke’s slicked member the shaft slid in and out of his with ease.

Naruto arched, his fingers scarring deep into pale flesh as Sasuke’s hips flexed forward and back driving into him. Just a little more and then…

Naruto suddenly screeched as white color flooded behind his eyes every pore open and screaming it’s uncontainable bliss.

Sasuke smiled against Naruto’s throat, as he drove in with the intent to strike the exact same spot with every thrust. And Naruto cried out over and over as his mind was driven to a state of exhaustion where there was only that striking pleasure.

Hitting him a lightning strike hammered through him over and over and over, unstopping. And he was nothing but a vessel of feeling to receive this striking lance of elated ecstasy and joy.

He was getting closer and closer with every strike – something was coming. The edge of the universe was just ahead and soon he would tumble over. Tumble into the precipice.

Sasuke felt his own body winding tighter, the insides of Naruto stroking him at every angle. His overheated body held tight against him, his lustful cries driving him higher.

His blood pounding through him, his hips automated as he sped up into him, and his ears drank in every sound. His mouth gasping in the scent of sun dried sweat and wind.

His eyes falling shut to the waves of hot white bliss, before he forced them open again. If only to ignore the pinnacle of his own violent overthrow to witness the clouded face beneath him.

Blue eyes half-shut glazed dark with pleasure, skin shining sweet with sweat, his lips open panting wet dancing tongue, sound with every thrust moaning past abused throat, and his tongue leaned down to lave across already bruised red lips.

That body he pounded into suddenly stiffened and arched with a shout his eyes squeezing shut completely, neck grown taut and jaw line rigid. A rapturous scream tearing past wet lips.

His muscles clamped down on Sasuke as he thrust back into him, the wire wound too tight, and Naruto’s face bathed in unknown brutal ecstasy, and he released his hot warm essence all over him, between them, coating Sasuke’s stomach.

And the dark-eyed youth couldn’t stop the wind-up toy as the wire stretched too tight and with one last thrust the toy came undone and broke. The thin wall falling away and a torrent rushed forth, and spilled from the cave it buried itself in.

Naruto felt the warm flood spiraling inside him and swishing back out from the pressure, his walls clamping down against Sasuke’s softening hardness, milking clear white hot fluid that burned his inside and filled him up.

His mind was gone and his mouth sought again the other. Drawing his open mouth, wetting the dry inside with his own wet cavern. Combined heat elicited the spicy fluid that he swallowed into him.

His inner walls clamping again and again, to draw just a little more of the gushing flowing river into him. Sasuke moaned and his hips jerked against the other a moment, releasing the last of his burning desire into him.

But that hard fullness was waning and Naruto whined as Sasuke’s member pulled out of him. He wanted to wrap his legs tighter around him and hold him in and thrust his hips and force him back to hardness again.

It had felt so strange, it had felt so terrifying, but it had filled him up and now he didn’t want it out. He felt empty without it for the moment before Sasuke’s body fell back against him.

The two relaxed against the sheets, heartbeats thumping in hurried rhythm. Sasuke unwrapped Naruto’s legs from his back, and left them to wind around his own legs, and drew the blond back into his arms, resting his head on top of the blond’s head.

“Not so bad?” Sasuke wondered his voice still husky and raw, “It was good, right? You liked it?”

Naruto breathed a moment considering, “It was… really good.” He responded and swallowed. “I liked it.”

Sasuke breathed and held the other closer to him, “Enough to do it again later?” he wondered. They still hadn’t quite established ground rules in this.

This strange progression that had started since Naruto came to his house and neither had left. He’d lost track of the number of hours, or was it days.

A kiss here and then another one there, a suggestive touch along the back, or the thigh, a needy kiss, a body pressed to another, and somehow things had just progressed.

“Yeah,” Naruto breathed after a moment, “Maybe…” he said relaxing into the other’s arms. “We should shower… wash the sheets.”

“We can do it later.” Sasuke murmured indifferent. His arms squeezing slightly, nuzzling closer, “I love you.”

So many times previous, and it still took a while to register.

Yet he hesitated, “I love you too.”

There was doubt. No doubt – he did love him but… he wondered if it was the same kind of love that Sasuke regarded him with. Was this, his own scared and timid sometimes fervent love for this boy that same kind of love?

Was this here, his time spent here, just a lapse in judgement?

He cared about him. He loved him. He loved Sasuke, he didn’t doubt that. The other boy was his best friend, a constant, someone he cared for strongly enough that he could call it love, but like this? This same kind of love?

It wasn’t the same as he felt for Sakura, or for Hinata and Neji and everyone else that he held close. He didn’t know. It wasn’t a lie, he liked Sasuke, and he had enjoyed this… this.

But as far as the depth and reality of those feelings… he had no idea. He just really didn’t know.

And Ed… had no idea where his breakfast went.

`

“Brat! You smell like sex!”

Naruto scowled at Jiraiya. Perverted old man, of course he’d say that, even though Naruto had had several showers since… the last time.

His boss scrutinized him a second more, noting the non-response and skeptically irritated face with some dissatisfaction.

“Stock the shelves.” He finally ordered and turned back to his office.

“Yes sir!” Naruto mock saluted as he turned to the overrun boxes of returned videos and dvds.

Honestly, it was nice that Jiraiya let him keep him job though apparently he’d missed that one shift – not to mention a few days of classes – but besides that couldn’t the old man at least restock the returned items while he was gone?

What a drag.

Beyond that, both boys had gotten calls from Tsunade – who was a bit perturbed that Naruto had in fact disappeared into Sasuke’s apartment and the boy’s had just stayed there since a few nights ago.

“I told you to patch things up with him! Not start living with him and ignoring the outside world!! Geez!!” Tsunade had barked at some point, flustered a bit irritated.

Sasuke didn’t bother to call her back himself after the three of them had ‘talked’ over Naruto’s call.

Somehow she’d gotten ahold of him anyway. Sasuke frowned as he’d clicked his phone to answer a call from Hinata and gotten Tsunade’s voice over the line instead.

“Sasuke you little snot-nosed brat! You answer your phone when Hinata calls but not me?!”

“Stooping so low to use other people’s phones, Tsunade?” Sasuke wondered, “That’s just sad, I’d think you could come up with something better than that.”

“Well it was kind of short notice,” Tsunade rolled her eyes. “I can already guess what the hell you kids were doing in that shack for those days!”

“Oh can you?” Sasuke wondered, she was probably only right for the last 30% of the time they spent together, since the rest was spent just in the other’s company not so much on the bed.

“I’m not a spring chicken, bum.” Tsunade clucked her tongue, “So you’re ‘with’ him now right?”

“I suppose, he hasn’t exactly named it official himself,” Sauske shrugged, “But he may as well have.”

“You be good to him.” Tsunade warned shortly. Sasuke probably didn’t need telling twice, but after so much she felt like she should bring it up anyway. “Don’t let him go.”

“I’m not ever letting him go.” Sasuke laughed, “Not even if he begs for it.” It had been too long, and no matter what happened, he would make this work. Because this was the first. His whole life had changed once, all because of the blond.

He wasn’t going to let him away.

“Not ever.”

Sasuke clicked the phone shut as he walked into the diner and hailed the group. Tsunade looked about to break the phone when he hung up on her but when she saw Sasuke immediately recovered, handing the phone back to a relieved Hinata.

“So everything’s good now?” Temari wondered. Looking at Sasuke first then to her girlfriend, who had started to suppose that the last few weeks were approximately the right amount of ‘mourning’ time necessary for Naruto’s loss.

“Seem to be.” Sasuke grinned as he slid into the seat next to the blond young woman. “Now all that’s left is to move his stuff to my place – so we’ll be officially moved in together.”

“If you asked me half a year ago, I’d say this would never have happened…” Shikamaru shook his head. “I feel somehow I’ve missed a couple hundred events since I last checked in.”

“Feels that way doesn’t it.” Hinata wondered.

Sasuke smirked. “Just be glad I’m not pissed at you guys anymore.”

“I thought you were over that a while ago.” Shikamaru wondered.

“Well yeah,” Sasuke tossed his head, “Thanks to your whoring of strangers, I met Naruto, and now we’re – probably – seriously dating.”

“Probably?” Hinata arched an eyebrow.

“Well like I told Tsunade, Naruto hasn’t actually said it himself yet.” Sasuke shrugged, “But he will. Ah… it’s true! Good thing eventually do happen to good people!”

“Yeah, but you aren’t a good person.”

“I am not – shut up, jerk!” Sasuke scowled.

“Sasuke!!”

“Karin, what are you doing here?” Hinata looked up in surprise, “Oh hey Suigets- what’s wrong?”

Karin sat her boyfriend down at the table and pulled up an extra chair for herself as well. “It’s just horrible! I’ll tell you – it’s way traumatic!”

“Another traumatizing event?” Shikamaru wondered, “So soon? Can’t karma give it a rest already? None of us are assholes!”

“Karma has nothing to do with it!” Karin snapped, “Kisame committed suicide.”

Sasuke started “What?” That didn’t make any sense at all!

“Kisame?” Hinata wondered.

“Sui’s cousin,” Karin explained, “They found him drowned in the river I guess. But the mail was delivered late this week, so even though we just got the news and invite to the funeral, it’s already past.”

“They buried him just yesterday over in Hills!” Karin sighed in distress, “It’s just so-! Isn’t it awful!”

Sasuke’s mouth pressed shut. Kisame… wouldn’t commit suicide. Even Suigetsu knew that, the other youth was unusually silent as well.

Sensing Sasuke’s scrunity he looked up, aqua eyes red at the edges from crying? Perhaps, but more so he looked angry.

There was no way Kisame would just up and commit suicide, least of all for no reason… and he was a great swimmer – he wouldn’t have drowned. Sasuke swallowed and looked away.

He wondered… the last he heard of Itachi, he was in Hills too, he wondered if his brother was in town when that happened.

“Hey.” Suigetsu called Sasuke’s attention back to him, he scowled at Sasuke, “It probably has nothing to do with that guy.”

Sasuke nodded. It was pretty uncanny how Suigetsu always seemed to know when he started thinking about that person. At least he wasn’t drawing the same conclusions Sasuke was, but then he was assuming too many coincidences.

Suigetsu suddenly got up, taking his phone out and headed for the door. Karin looked up after him and opened her mouth to shout after him but stopped herself and let him go.

“Shouldn’t you go with him?” Hinata wondered.

“No,” the girl shook her head, “I’ll give him some alone time. I might make him something sweet to eat later or something to get his mind off it.” The frowned and rested her head in her arms, “He and Kisame were pretty close though.”

Temari frowned again as that unsettling quiet settled over the table. For crying out loud this was just insane!! She bit her cheek for now though. She’d give them five seconds, then they were going to talk about splitting the pizza for today’s lunch.

`

“Is it official then?”

Naruto shrugged, “I guess so.”

The blond had gotten off from work about two hours ago and he and Neji were just getting out of their last class. Neji sighed and nodded, his mouth working slightly. “I see.”

Naruto breathed and hoped that Neji would say something more. This was a little more than an ‘I see’ kind of thing.

He had promised him before that if he ever went out with guys he’d date Neji first… but here he was breaking that promise given that he and Sasuke had… and were… well… whatever it was they were.

“I’m sorry.” He offered.

“Don’t. I know you’re not, so don’t force yourself.” Neji sighed and shook his head, and Naruto waited, relieved that at the least Neji’s statement was devoid of anger or even irritation.

“I had thought it might have been something like this.” Neji muttered, his tone only slightly bitter. “That bastard can turn anyone to his side.”

“Hey.”

Neji shook his head. “It’s fine. Really.” He breathed, “Whatever makes you happy.” The brunette told him. “I’m going abroad this Monday anyway.”

“Yeah, Germany.” Naruto recalled, smiling, “You’ll have a lot of fun, I’m sure.”

“Learn a lot too I hope,” Neji concurred, turning back to face blue eyes. “So it’s fine. I’m glad things worked out for you, especially after...”

“My brother. Yeah, me too.” Naruto grinned, honestly. It felt like it had been years, and not just nine months. It was almost a full year since that time. “And we’ll all be there to see you off at the gate.”

`

So three more days found Naruto and Kiba, Hinata, Tenten, and Lee seeing Neji off at his gate before his plane departed.

All offering final bits of advice and buying vending machine candy, inside the terminal, so he wouldn’t have to settle for airplane crusty sandwiches.

In the next few moments that was the last they’d see of him until he e-mailed his first group of pictures of Berlin and the fancy clockwork shops. He’d be back by next semester.

Naruto would have invited Sasuke, but he had a class during that time, and the two had exchanged last words earlier. So it was surprising when walking towards the outside Naruto caught a flicker of pale skin and raven-black hair.

Sasuke? He looked back and glanced around the crowd, but too much motion, and surely he was mistaken. Everyone cried and threw a mini-party at their friend’s departure.

On the bright side no anal flatmate yelling about loud music when he was studying, on the down side no one to make sure they all got up for their eight am classes.

The group splintered off outside for those who had to get to work, those who were running over to class, and those who had things to do.

Naruto was on his way to his apartment, to help pack up some things – within the last few days he and Sasuke had been making an afternoon project of moving him into Sasuke’s place.

He was taking the regular short cut through the park, when someone called him from far away. A soft pale hand touched his shoulder and he turned to face bright green eyes.

“This is so late!! I am so sorry!!” The girl exclaimed hurriedly, “I know it’s been so long, but I couldn’t get in touch with you after… I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I did that to you right after your brother-!!”

She cut herself off and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself and bit her lip before restarting, “And then I didn’t even see you for so long – it’s like you dropped off the face of the earth for a while and then-!!”

She tried again. “I feel terrible about it really! Are you okay though?! You look okay?”

Naruto grinned and pulled the girl into his arms effectively cutting her off. “It’s okay, Sakura.” He told her, rejoicing in the comforting warmth that flowed from her to him. Holding her was so much like peace and contentment.

“Are you sure?” she asked surprised, her hands touching tentatively to his back, “I mean, you can’t believe how sorry I am! I went frantic trying to call you after I found out but-!”

“I forgive you, it’s okay.” He told her smiling. Eventually she relaxed and her arms wound around to hug him back.

“I am so sorry.”

Naruto just nodded, and let himself relax a moment before he pulled away, and kissed her on the cheek. It seemed natural enough, though her cheeks pinked slightly at the gesture.

She smiled, “I’m glad you’re better. I really am sor-” She stopped herself, “Ugh, I’m starting to sound like a broken record.”

“It’s fine. Really, you don’t have to apologize.” He told her. She nodded and smiled back at him. She looked so much better now, she resembled more of that lively girl he had known in high school.

“Well I’ll see you around then.” She said as she started back off down the sidewalk, “Tell Sasuke I said ‘Hello’!”

Naruto waved after her, and wondered for a moment if he truly had no sexual attraction to her. In a way that was bothersome. Naruto turned and started off down the sidewalk again.

When he reached his apartment, Sasuke wasn’t there yet. One of the last things he had to take out was that box in his dresser, the one full of all the things that belonged to her.

He took the box out tenderly and sat it on the floor before him. His hand paused on the lid.

In a way it bothered him that he had no sexual attraction to Sakura… but then this would be his test.

He opened the lid and took them out one by one. The red ribbon – the one he stole from her hair, their first meeting.

A pressed flower – the one she’d picked for science class and given him when he asked for it.

A silver chain – the one she thought she’d lost but he had found and never returned. A colored glass stone – one from a bag of them that she’d bought when their class had toured a meteorite and precious stone museum.

The picture, him and her, he’d stalked her and Nishi on their first date to the botanic gardens and had coaxed her to take a picture with him in the front. So this was it – it was the only picture he’d had of them together.

This used to be masochistic of him, he used to remember every time. He still could remember; it was a sad memory. But that’s all it was a sad memory, it no longer entered the present.

He remembered her words, her face; he remembered how he’d felt. But he couldn’t feel it now.

Facts remained, a memory, a sad memory with all its reminders. But it didn’t destroy him to remember.

Somehow he’d already sorted out this rejection… somehow he and her had come to something mutual… even if he hadn’t understood it then he did now. Something final had ended between them.

Not something broken, just something he thought was there and wasn’t. She already knew that, but it had taken him this long to figure it out. But he still didn’t know exactly what it was. But he wouldn’t worry about it.

He heard Sasuke’s footsteps, he heard him call his name when he entered the apartment. “Naruto? There you are.” He walked over and paused sitting down on the floor next to him. “What’s this?”

Naruto pointed out the items and explained them to him. “But it doesn’t mean anything anymore.” He wondered.

Maybe by reasoning this aloud he could figure out what it was that he thought was there and wasn’t, that thing that had released this memory from his masochistic destruction pattern.

“Why is that? I loved her, I still do I think, but… it’s…” he shook his head. This was more difficult to put into words than he’d thought.

“Your mother?”

Mother? Naruto looked up, he hadn’t even realized Sasuke was still listening, but of all the things to say? “Mother?”

“Hinata and Temari thought that your behavior towards her resembled how a child is around his mother,” Sasuke shrugged, apparently he didn’t fully understand it either. But Naruto nodded, he could accept that.

She had always watched out for him, of course he held affection for her, a deep rooted affection that could have easily been mistaken for love and sexual attraction.

But it would make sense if it was something else, another kind of love that he had only thought was the other kind.

He put the things back into the box and put the lid on top. Sasuke followed him, “What are you going to do with it?” he wondered.

“I’m taking it to the park, I’m going to bury it.” Naruto told him. “I’ll also stop by the market and get some fruit and food for Ed.”

“I’ll get Ed’s food.” Sasuke protested, “So move the rest tomorrow?”

“I should be able to pick it up, there’s only four boxes left, you saw.” Naruto told him as he reached the door and turned. “I think I’m going to make dinner tonight.”

“Why?”

“I said I’d cook for you at some point, I think.” He shrugged. Sasuke puzzled a moment and then snorted.

“You still remember that?” he mused, “Feels like a long time.”

“It is a long time.” Naruto arched his eyebrows, “Nine months – that’s a short eternity!”

“Then I look forward to eating your noodles!” Sasuke grinned, and Naruto’s mouth grinned back in return.

“You better.” Naruto opened the door and it shut behind him. Sasuke wound up moving two boxes over his to his place anyway before giving Ed a snack and heading back out.

A short walk, and Naruto would be back soon probably, it wouldn’t take too long to shop for cooking ingredients for noodle dishes.

Life was on the upswing for once, and Sasuke felt like bursting apart in happiness, his body so full of simple content and joy.

But that joy was drained with everything else happy and chipper in his mind at that instance as dark eyes locked on twin onyx orbs.

Sasuke swallowed as he took in the pale face, and the age lines across his cheeks, and dark feather-black hair, longer than his own pulled back to a tail at his nape.

Sasuke still felt like screaming, but not in joy. He felt sick to his stomach suddenly. It was Itachi.

One thought: Oh shit…

---

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