The Traveling Pussy

Warning: Non-sexual graphic violence

Chapter 19: Uzuki’s Mistake

Unfortunately the effects of an orgasm fade fairly quickly while despair and depression have this terrible habit of lingering on. I just lay in the heap where Shino had tossed me, not bothering to move or adjust my body, just wallowing in misery. Only a few hours ago, I had a boyfriend I adored, I job I liked, and the prospect of a good meal and some sex. Now I was hungry and likely had no boyfriend or career.

When I heard the door fly open and footsteps stomp in, I was convinced it was Ibiki coming to dump me. I just lay there. By the time I realized it was Uzuki, it was too late. Grabbing one of my arms, she viciously twisted it, saying in an angry voice, “You get off on pain, bitch, well, I’ll give you some pain!” My arm broke in a classic spiral fracture. The sound of the bone breaking was shockingly loud. It was absolutely the wrong thing to do to me.

Like I told Ibiki, broken bones were not sexual to me. I wasn’t into that kind of pain, and I would fight to defend myself from it. It was a little late for defense, but I wasn’t going to just meekly let Uzuki do any more damage to me. The problem was, however, I wasn’t exactly rational. I was lying there feeling stupid, guilty, remorseful, depressed, and a host of other negative things I didn’t want to feel. Anger took away the emotional pain and was easy, pleasant, even delightful to feel.

To make things even worse, since I was so convinced that my boyfriend and job were lost to me, I really didn’t care if I lived or died. I slid into that rage that all cops, bouncers, and soldiers are taught to recognize in others. It goes by a number of names—bloodlust, blood fury, berserker’s rage, fighter’s frenzy, etc. The key is to recognize when a fighter has gotten to the point were they care more about winning and inflicting pain than living. There’s no way to deal rationally with fighters in this state—you have to knock them out, totally restrain them, or kill them.

I had been stripped of my weapons before I was taken to this “serious” interrogation room, but when two ninjas are touching, weapons aren’t really needed. Uzuki was still holding the wrist of my broken arm when I partially landed a vicious blow to her head. The fight was on. I don’t remember much of it, but I do recall when she managed to pin my legs and good arm. I knew she wasn’t expecting me to do anything with the broken arm, but I was past caring. I jabbed at her with the broken arm, letting the broken bone rip through my skin and slice her throat.

I got the jugular vein in her neck, and as the blood splashed down into my face, I remember thinking, “Now I understand why Gaara liked killing.” I don’t remember anything after that, but evidently at some point Shino, Ibiki, and Kakashi intervened and saved Uzuki’s life and knocked me out. As usual with a head injury, I lost a bit of time before the blow, so I can’t remember the end of the fight.

The next thing I remember is being tied down in a Konoha hospital bed being worked on by a very angry Shizune and a rather excited Sakura. My arm had been healed, but I could tell I had a broken rib and had taken a pretty awful beating. Once Shizune verified I was conscious and knew who I was, she stormed out, leaving Sakura to work on the broken rib and assorted other lesser injuries.

“Sakura-chan, is Uzuki alive?” I asked, wondering if I was going to face charges for murder.

“Uzuki was attacked as well?” Sakura asked. “Who did this to you?”

I sighed and just shut my eyes and mouth, ignoring Sakura’s questions. She tried to get me talk and even mentioned having seen a picture of Ibiki and me at Gaara’s party in the paper. I answered her in monosyllables if at all, determined to say nothing until I knew if I had managed to kill an ANBU warrior despite being unarmed, pinned, and injured. I guess it was pretty silly of me to think I had succeeded, but for another two hours I didn’t know if Uzuki was alive or dead.

Kakashi was the one who finally came in and told me she was ok. I started to apologize for having walked in on him and Iruka, but he just ordered me to shut up and asked if the broken rib had hurt. When I told him yes, he let me know he was the one who’d broken it and asked if we could just call it even and start over. Of course I agreed, but it seemed weird that the famous Copy Ninja was worried about us being “even.” I had been a prisoner in interrogation and had attacked an ANBU member; I didn’t know why I wasn’t dead already or locked up and left unhealed. After Kakashi and I shook hands, I just closed my eyes and drifted away into my own private state of despair. When Kakashi started to speak to me after a few minutes, I was startled and confused.

“What? What?” I asked in a cranky voice, opening my eyes to stare at him.

“Do you want to borrow my copy of Icha, Icha Paradise?” asked Kakashi.

Now that question startled me, and I focused in on Kakashi. I realized he wasn’t wearing his mask. Cripes—he must really be injured himself, I thought. “Hey, Kakashi,” I said in concerned voice, “where’s your mask, buddy? Ah, have you seen Sakura or Shizune around here?”

Kakashi just pulled up his mask and said, “Yes, I’ve seen both.”

“Well, ah, you might want to have them check you out. You’re going to need your favorite novel, you know, and it’s not like you to forget your mask. Maybe you should just have a little check-up, just in case?”

Kakashi bowed and thanked me for my concern and left. I just went back into my state of depression. It was a sign of how down I was that it didn't even occur to me I had just seen one of the most sought-after sights in all of Konoha, the face of the famous Copy-cat Ninja, Kakashi. In fact I can't really remember what he looked like except that it was pretty much what was implied by what showed. Now, of course, I'm kicking myself. But then again, after you've had a graphic demonstration of just how gay a guy is, it is a little hard to care how pretty he is.

I told the events of this Friday to others, and frankly no one (except those involved) believes them. While some accept Kakashi is gay, others deny it. No one thinks I could harm an ANBU member while in interrogation or that I saw the famous Copy Ninja's face. But in the end, the only person I really cared about believing me was Ibiki. And until I found out what he thought, I was a pathetic wreck. I think most of the people who saw me strapped down to the bed in the hospital assumed it was due to my physical injuries, but for me, it was my heart that was driving me mad. I guess it was about time for me to suffer.

They say what comes around goes around, and a shitload of what goes around had just hit me in the face.