Shakespeare Challenge Response: Titus Andronicus
folder
Naruto AU/AR › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
21
Views:
1,480
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto AU/AR › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
21
Views:
1,480
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
No own Naruto or the characters or Titus Andronicus. I recieve no money from writing this.
Scene 18
The Suna shinobi gathered in a large clearing near the Nara forest. Shikamaru addressed the captains and his generals, Tamari and Kankuro.
“My friends, I have received letters from Konoha telling us how much hate they have for their Hokage and how glad they are to know we are approaching. We must destroy Naruto, his supporters, and the remnants of Akatsuki he allowed to roam free.”
“We’ll go where you lead, Shikamaru,” Tamari assured him.
“Thank you. But who is this?”
A platoon of Suni shinobi approached with Hidan, bound.
“We found this one spying on us,” the captain said.
“Oh, wonderful. This is the devil who took Sasuke’s hand. Have you nothing to say, Hidan? Kill him.”
“You’ll try, but I’m immortal. You and your lover know that best, you cocksucker.”
“Crucify him on a tree and leave him there for ravens to feed on. We’ll see what your immortality will do for you then.”
“Wait and I’ll tell you many things. I’m Itachi’s lover after all.”
“If what you say pleases me, I won’t nail you to a tree for the rest of eternity.”
“If it pleases you? It’ll drive you mad. I can tell you about murders, rapes, massacres, adulteries, abominable deeds, mischief, treason, villainies . . . You’ll never hear it if you nail me up.”
“Tell me.”
“Swear it.”
“What should I swear by? You are Jashinist. I will not swear by your god and you do not believe in the Will of Fire.”
“So what if I don’t believe in your gods? I know you believe in your Will of Fire and you will not violate an oath you make on it.”
“I swear not to leave you hopelessly nailed to a tree by the Will of Fire.”
“First, I’ve been Itachi’s lover since before we came to Konoha and have been lovers the entire time he’s been married to Naruto. Kabuto and Deidara are also his lovers.”
“That slut!”
“That’s one of our virtues compared to the rest. Kabuto, Deidara, and I, with a shadow clone of Itachi, distracted Hyuga Neji while Itachi took his back and attack his one blind spot. Then the four of us raped Sakura. Kabuto cut out her tongue. But I was the one who ‘trimmed’ off her hands.”
“You call that trimming?!”
“Washed and trimmed. It was good sport.”
Shikamaru trembled with rage.
“I’m the one who suggested the whole thing, but it was Kabuto who decided to cut out her tongue and not kill her as Itachi ordered him to do. I led those other two to the spot where we killed the Hyuga and hid the money under that tree, setting them up for Naruto’s suspicion. Itachi wrote the letter and gave it to Naruto. I asked for your lover’s hand and once I had it, I nearly bit my own tongue off to keep from laughing hysterically at your antics and Sasuke’s sincerity. I already knew your friends had been executed and sent you their heads and Sasuke’s hand. I hid myself nearby and watched your grieves. I laughed so hard my face was as wet as his! And when I told Itachi about that, he gave me twenty kisses.”
“You can say all that and never blush?” Kankuro demanded.
“Can a black dog blush?”
“Aren’t you in the least bit sorry?” Shikamaru growled.
“Yeah. That I haven’t done a thousand more viscous deeds. I curse the day—though I think only a few days come under that curse—that I did not do an evil deed like kill a man, devise a death, rape some young thing, make another man a cuckold, accuse innocent men of heinous crimes, foreswear myself, cause murderous hate between friends, kill poor men’s livestock or burn their fields and bid them quench the flames with their tears. I’ve dug up dead men and propped them at their friend’s door once they had gotten over their grief and write in blood on the wall ‘Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.’ I’ve done any number of evil deeds as easily as you would kill a fly. It grieves me that I cannot d a thousand more.”
“Stop his mouth!” Shikamaru demanded. Hidan was gagged. “We’ll decide what to do with him later.”
“Shikamaru-sama,” Baki called. “There is a messenger from the Hokage here to speak with you.”
“I see him.” Shikamaru, Tamari, and Kankuro followed Baki. A masked ANBU shinobi stood waiting for him at the edge of the clearing.
“Shikamaru-sama, Suni leaders, the Hokage greets you. He understands you have come in arms and he desires to have a parley with you at Uchiha Sasuke’s home.”
“What do you think, Shikamaru?” Tamari asked.
“Give this message to Uchiha Sasuke and if he agrees, we will come.”
“My friends, I have received letters from Konoha telling us how much hate they have for their Hokage and how glad they are to know we are approaching. We must destroy Naruto, his supporters, and the remnants of Akatsuki he allowed to roam free.”
“We’ll go where you lead, Shikamaru,” Tamari assured him.
“Thank you. But who is this?”
A platoon of Suni shinobi approached with Hidan, bound.
“We found this one spying on us,” the captain said.
“Oh, wonderful. This is the devil who took Sasuke’s hand. Have you nothing to say, Hidan? Kill him.”
“You’ll try, but I’m immortal. You and your lover know that best, you cocksucker.”
“Crucify him on a tree and leave him there for ravens to feed on. We’ll see what your immortality will do for you then.”
“Wait and I’ll tell you many things. I’m Itachi’s lover after all.”
“If what you say pleases me, I won’t nail you to a tree for the rest of eternity.”
“If it pleases you? It’ll drive you mad. I can tell you about murders, rapes, massacres, adulteries, abominable deeds, mischief, treason, villainies . . . You’ll never hear it if you nail me up.”
“Tell me.”
“Swear it.”
“What should I swear by? You are Jashinist. I will not swear by your god and you do not believe in the Will of Fire.”
“So what if I don’t believe in your gods? I know you believe in your Will of Fire and you will not violate an oath you make on it.”
“I swear not to leave you hopelessly nailed to a tree by the Will of Fire.”
“First, I’ve been Itachi’s lover since before we came to Konoha and have been lovers the entire time he’s been married to Naruto. Kabuto and Deidara are also his lovers.”
“That slut!”
“That’s one of our virtues compared to the rest. Kabuto, Deidara, and I, with a shadow clone of Itachi, distracted Hyuga Neji while Itachi took his back and attack his one blind spot. Then the four of us raped Sakura. Kabuto cut out her tongue. But I was the one who ‘trimmed’ off her hands.”
“You call that trimming?!”
“Washed and trimmed. It was good sport.”
Shikamaru trembled with rage.
“I’m the one who suggested the whole thing, but it was Kabuto who decided to cut out her tongue and not kill her as Itachi ordered him to do. I led those other two to the spot where we killed the Hyuga and hid the money under that tree, setting them up for Naruto’s suspicion. Itachi wrote the letter and gave it to Naruto. I asked for your lover’s hand and once I had it, I nearly bit my own tongue off to keep from laughing hysterically at your antics and Sasuke’s sincerity. I already knew your friends had been executed and sent you their heads and Sasuke’s hand. I hid myself nearby and watched your grieves. I laughed so hard my face was as wet as his! And when I told Itachi about that, he gave me twenty kisses.”
“You can say all that and never blush?” Kankuro demanded.
“Can a black dog blush?”
“Aren’t you in the least bit sorry?” Shikamaru growled.
“Yeah. That I haven’t done a thousand more viscous deeds. I curse the day—though I think only a few days come under that curse—that I did not do an evil deed like kill a man, devise a death, rape some young thing, make another man a cuckold, accuse innocent men of heinous crimes, foreswear myself, cause murderous hate between friends, kill poor men’s livestock or burn their fields and bid them quench the flames with their tears. I’ve dug up dead men and propped them at their friend’s door once they had gotten over their grief and write in blood on the wall ‘Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.’ I’ve done any number of evil deeds as easily as you would kill a fly. It grieves me that I cannot d a thousand more.”
“Stop his mouth!” Shikamaru demanded. Hidan was gagged. “We’ll decide what to do with him later.”
“Shikamaru-sama,” Baki called. “There is a messenger from the Hokage here to speak with you.”
“I see him.” Shikamaru, Tamari, and Kankuro followed Baki. A masked ANBU shinobi stood waiting for him at the edge of the clearing.
“Shikamaru-sama, Suni leaders, the Hokage greets you. He understands you have come in arms and he desires to have a parley with you at Uchiha Sasuke’s home.”
“What do you think, Shikamaru?” Tamari asked.
“Give this message to Uchiha Sasuke and if he agrees, we will come.”