Train Me Pervert or Else

Train Me Pervert Or Else
Kakashi Promised, Naruto Did Not
By Mieren (AKA Phantasm)

After spending the night relieving any retained stress on Iruka, who was torn between enraptured groans and uncontrollable snickering, Kakashi was just plain dead to the world. Unlike the sun, he was unlikely to rise again for quite some time in any way, shape or form. Use your imagination on that one and prepare for a nosebleed. In the morning, Iruka had gingerly gotten dressed and headed out to teach his classes, struggling valiantly not to hobble. The silver-haired jounin did no such thing, content to stay face down in bed until noon when his bladder finally rebelled and ordered him to either get up or sleep in an entirely new type of wet spot.

Since he was already up, he grudgingly decided that breakfast, well lunch now, wouldn’t be entirely a bad idea. Still grumbling about sadistic blonds, he ambled gracelessly into the kitchen. The seals that the Hyuuga had placed on him the previous morning were just wearing off and he was staggering around a little clumsily still. Sleepy, weary and entirely off guard, he popped open the fridge and started poking around, a bit disappointed that neither he nor Iruka had been shopping in awhile. There was only a small selection and it consisted of a few pieces of fruit and some dangerous looking meat that was on the verge of sentience.

Sighing, he grabbed a large plum, resolving to use it as a quick snack before he went shopping for real food. Still poking through questionable foodstuffs, he took a bite of the slightly soft and wrinkled fruit, and promptly turned a shade of red never before seen in the natural world.

Wasabi! Someone had sucked the fruit dry and filled it with the green death! Mouth on fire, he did the thing that any rational person would do. He dropped the plum while gagging out the nuclear sludge in his mouth and snagged the nearest container of liquid in the fridge, honestly not caring what it was so long as it was wet. He reconsidered his haste instantly. The container of what should have been orange juice was in fact borderline rancid sardine oil.

Almost ready to spill the nonexistent contents of his stomach on the floor, he raced for the sink, yanking on the water to soothe his burning, fishy, oily mouth before he his stomach rebelled. In his haste to save his tongue, he failed to notice the slender wire connected to the faucet handle, pulling an enormous bowl down off the shelf top when he turned the knob, unloading a wave of goop onto his head, a mixture of flour, eggs and water in the perfect consistency to splatter everywhere and make it all but impossible to get out of his now plastered silver hair.

Mismatched eyes narrowed. He had promised Iruka not to retaliate for yesterday’s little stunt. The pranks this morning, however, were perfectly fair game for revenge.

“You want to be trained,” Kakashi hissed out around a fried and nearly rancid mouth. “So be it. Starting now, it’s Survival Training 101.”

********************

It started out as a game that combined hide-and-go-seek with tag, omitting the fact that the first person to fail and get caught was going to suffer horribly. The chasing party shifted back and forth rapidly and without warning. One moment, Kakashi was hell bent on beating the crap out of certain a blond teenager when he was struck from behind with a water balloon filled with red paint. It was only then that the jounin realized two things. One was that he was chasing a clone. Two happened to place him about ten feet from a herd of bulls that incidentally thought that red was the perfect color to chase. Thus began Kakashi’s search for his soon to be dead charge on the rooftops.

Despite his ire, rather his burning desire to beat a certain someone’s head against a boulder for a few hours or so, Kakashi had to give the idiot some credit. For a genin, he was doing fantastically well against a genius jounin. The thought put him just enough off guard to land on a roof that was generously covered in Vaseline, sending him skidding straight off the building towards the following bulls. He just barely managed to catch the edge of the gutter with his fingertips before he was pulled under countless hooves just waiting to stomp his sorry butt into the ground.

Doing his best Tarzan impression, he swung himself along the gutter until he could flip onto another rooftop, this one thankfully free of the slick crap. Mismatched eyes narrowed in ire. He’d sleep on the couch for a month if it meant he got his revenge. The blond was going down.

********************

Happily slurping down ramen, Naruto felt a sudden chill come over him. Unable to see the source of the dark chakra directed at him, he did the unspeakable, abandoning his meal and tossing down the cost as he rapidly departed. He highly suspected who was after his sorry hide, but couldn’t yet prove a thing, so he did his best to defend himself by running like mad. After one intersection he spun around where no one could see him, he burst into over a hundred clones and scattered absolutely everywhere.

Before he had managed a dozen steps, he could already hear the poof of the first clone to vanish under vengeful hands. Naturally, that spurred Naruto and all of his clones to scatter at higher speeds before a certain pissed jounin found him. The poor blond nearly had a seizure when he noticed that there was an equal number of Kakashi clones chasing him as he had running around to avoid him. Every two seconds or so, he heard another poof, indicating that there was one less of him and thus even more jounin clones to beat him into a pile of human slime on the road. Not that he didn’t deserve it, he understood, but the idea was still not appealing.

Poof! Poof! Poofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoof…

Naruto decided right then that he was screwed. So much for pulling a prank on a jounin, especially one that knew him so well.

“You!” Kakashi roared, tackling the blond. A plethora of pops could be heard as the remainder of his clones vanished in his shock. Vengeful fingers fisted in golden locks as the rather irate jounin dragged his student forcibly to a new location, his death-grip preventing the younger ninja from attempting to escape.

Naruto was having rather disturbing visions of being force-fed hellish items of so-called food stuffs that would ultimately result in his tongue rebelling and running away in terror, never to return to his mouth. He didn’t even know where he was being taken. It wasn’t towards the Hokage’s residence, nor towards his own or Iruka’s. That only left one option. He was being dragged towards wherever it was that Kakashi lived. The process of dragging didn’t allow him to see where he was either, not even to let him know if he was hauled into an apartment or a small house.

He was flung onto a bed, a clicking noise immediately following. The fingers gripping his hair vanished, allowing him to sit up and see what the odd noise had been. A thick steel shackle held him to the bed by his ankle, ensuring that he could not escape. Being the obnoxious brat that he was, Naruto yanked at the restraint a few times, succeeding in giving himself a few minor bruises on his ankle. He curled up around the shackle and started fighting it in earnest, but without any real weapons, which he had failed to notice being removed as he was hauled around by his mentor, he failed miserably in his attempt to free himself. He was struggling so hard against his restraint that he barely recognized the return of his captor. He glared at the silver-haired man smirking at him.

“What do you want?” Naruto snapped. “This is your own fault! If you had just trained me, none of what I did would have happened!”

“I’m going to train you,” Kakashi answered calmly. Calm was a relative term. It was completely impossible to determine the man’s emotions at any given time no matter how hard one tried. “You did ask me to train you.”

“Train me? In what? Scaring the crap out of me? Making me paranoid?”

“We… it’s more like teaching,” the silver-haired man said musingly.

“Train, teach, whatever… just spill it!” Naruto spat, yanking again at his bindings.

Kakashi’s visible eye just narrowed in a hidden smirk. Drawing out a kunai, he carefully cut away all of Naruto’s clothes, making sure he didn’t accidentally nick the boy’s skin as he rendered the blond utterly nude.

“What the hell are you doing?” Naruto screeched.

“Exactly what you did to me,” Kakashi purred. At this point, the jounin didn’t care if he was left to rot on the couch for a month from Iruka’s wrath at his tactics, he would have his revenge. The boy was fourteen. He was old enough to understand what he was about to have done to him.

Used to jumping Iruka at odd times, Kakashi pulled a tube of lube out of his pocket, well familiar with its presence. He generously coated two fingers before shoving both into the smaller blond. He kept his spare hand ready to counter any attacks from his entrapped student, blinking in surprise when Naruto only jerked but didn’t try to beat the living snot out of him. Assuming it was a feint, he grabbed both of the blonde’s wrists in one hand and pin them above his head, pausing again when the boy didn’t struggle in the slightest.

Kakashi honestly hadn’t planned on doing anything beyond what he had already done to prove his point. The lack of response wouldn’t have changed that either. What bothered him was the fact that the slender blond writhed briefly before raising his hips against the two fingers impaling him. Very slowly, experimentally, he curled his fingers to press against delicate pressure points.

Naruto cried out loudly, as was his fashion, and lunged towards the new feeling, his mind on complete vacation. He was so far out of it that he didn’t even realize who he was with. Never before had anyone gone so far as to even hug him, and the new sensations were overwhelming. At that point, he didn’t care who it was, only that he was in rapture for the first time in his life, and he wanted more. He could vaguely hear himself begging, but was unable to determine exactly what he was saying. In his mind, he could only hear things resembling ‘please’ and ‘more’ and similar pleas.

Kakashi dropped his hold on Naruto’s wrists, determining it pointless to hold down someone who wanted to be submissive. He had only been trying to prove a point, not screw a boy who was only half his age. Again, Naruto bucked against his hand, causing Kakashi to reflexively withdraw his fingers. The action was met with a cry of protest.

Kakashi didn’t question him verbally. He simply leaned forward and brushed his lips against Naruto’s gently, instantly gaining access to the heated depths of his mouth. A tongue instantly thrust against his own, sheer enthusiasm making up for skill.

Encouraged, Naruto rocked his bare body upwards, trying to press himself against his teacher to further contact. Kakashi obliged him, thrusting downwards so that the blonde’s bared length struck his covered one. For a few thrusts, they met each other’s hardened flesh, both panting but otherwise silent. Resolving his nerve, Kakashi shucked his clothes and grasped his student to him, delighted when Naruto snuggled closer.

Debating on how his student would respond, Kakashi shifted back a fraction, rubbing the head of his erection against the blonde’s opening. Naruto stilled for a moment before deliberately spreading his legs further open in direct invitation. Noticing the unconditional acceptance, he slathered his length with lubricant and pressed forward delicately, knowing that the boy was a virgin in all possible ways.

Several minutes passed. Naruto was so tight that Kakashi could not force his erection into the boy without hurting him. Rather than reverting to stretching the teenager, the jounin decided to distract him, claiming his mouth and pinching both nipples at the same time. His mind torn in several directions, Naruto lost control of his muscles and inadvertently loosened his tense muscles enough to allow Kakashi to shove his length into his virgin passage.

Sheathed to the hilt, Kakashi stilled to allow the teenager to adjust to the new feeling. It wasn’t long before Naruto began to squirm, his hips rhythmically lifting to meet him. Patience at its limit, the jounin slowly withdrew and pressed forward again, watching carefully as the blond moaned and arched up against him. Encouraged, the silver-haired man began to thrust in earnest, his efforts earning him only enraptured cries and new scratches along his back as Naruto struggled to draw him closer, deeper.

Kakashi wanted to stop, but at the same time wanted to continue. This was his student. The boy was half his age. Ignoring that, they both seemed to want to proceed. He had never intended for it to go so far, but now, he didn’t want to back down. Naruto suddenly managed to get a good grip on him and shoved against him forcefully.

That was it. Kakashi gave up. Angling his hips, he began to thrust forcefully, carefully listening to the noises Naruto uttered to repeat the enraptured sounds he uttered. Once he found the proper angle, he began to pump in full force. Naruto cried out loudly, angling his slender body to reciprocate. Before long, the two established a rhythm and proper angle for both of them to get the most out of the encounter.

It didn’t last long. Being a virgin, Naruto lost control almost instantly, spurting across Kakashi’s stomach. Much more experienced, Kakashi intentionally followed him. Smirking a bit, the jounin pulled free and puffed away in a blast of smoke. Naruto was left panting on a bed not his own, trying to decipher what had just happened. Eventually, he tentatively picked the lock on his ankle, stumbled out of the bed, stole some of Kakashi’s clothes and clumsily ambled towards his apartment.

Kakashi returned to his home the moment that his student departed, praying that Iruka never discovered what had transpired there since that would mark the last of his ability to get laid, possibly even the last of his life. Iruka was quite protective of the blond. For a moment, he thought he was safe, and then Naruto glanced over his shoulder to look at him directly, his expression unreadable. A slight softening of his eyes told Kakashi that he wasn’t angry, and a miniscule smirk indicated that he was happy with the encounter. In a blast of smoke, he vanished, likely back to his own apartment.

Kakashi just stared at his absent form, smiling faintly. Maybe Iruka wouldn’t castrate him after all.

*****

By popular demand, I continued what was suppost to be a one-shot fic. If I get enough feedback, I may even try for a third, but I'm not sure yet. Prove that you love me and I might go for a threesome. ^_^