Good Things Come in Threes

Title: Bound
Chapter One: "Whorish Habits"
Author: Blurredoasis
Beta: Huggles abound to LJ demondreams!!! you're a great beta, with some awesome ideas and great skills!
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Kiba/Neji/Shika (and any possible combination of those three names into other seme/uke and twosomes) and mentions of Kiba/a bunch of people (Shino, Hinata, Ino, Shikamaru, Naruto, Chouji, Ten Ten)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: yaoi, lemon, mastrubation, a little dark descriptions, threesome
Notes: Dedicated to LJ ryals_shoal who has spectacular drawing skills and fantastic writing ability. i hope you enjoy! just please, when i'm done with this, take yer Neji back! he keeps poking me to do a sequel and i'm afraid i'll give into him soon and do it!
Disclaimer: Oi. Not mine.


Chapter One, Whorish Habits


One of the worst habits to acquire as a shinobi is having a routine. Repetitive actions allowed your enemies to find your weakness, know your next move and plan their attack accordingly. Knowing this and avoiding it, however, were two different things. Three of Konoha's finest proved this by bluntly defiling the rule, by following the same routine every Friday night. Some might interpret such habits as intentional taunts to any would be attackers, others might just say the three didn't care, but either way the men always found themselves in the same corner of the same bar every Friday night. It was hard to ignore the call of endless liquor, delicious food, and friendly waitresses. It got to the point that other regulars could tell what day of the week it was by how long it had been since the three had made their last appearance. Routine wasn't the only vice the three carried, each having their own reasons why hell would come swiftly for them sometime soon. Naruto had vengeance, Shikamaru had sloth, and Kiba had sex.

“You're a whore Kiba, a whore.”

The man mentioned shrugged, taking a sip from the faintly warm beer, obviously unaffected by Naruto's jab.

“Sounds like someone's jealous, Naruto. Upset Kiba can pull it off better than you?” The smirk on Shikamaru's face had been there all night but took a wicked turn as the conversation floated to Kiba's favorite topic and one of Naruto's pet peeves concerning his friend.

“I-I--” The blond sputtered at the comment, gesturing wildly to the placid man sitting across from him. “A whore!” He finally mustered out. “Is there anybody in this town you haven't fucked?!” While rumors had always followed the brunette about his taste in experimenting with one of the finer things in life, most people attributed them to various reasons. Some of the more popular excuses focused on burned lovers spreading hateful tales or jealous men trying to demonize Kiba by tacking on half of Konoha's population to his conquered list. However, just recently, those rumors shifted into known fact as more people admitted to participating in his exploits, bringing a whole new perspective on everything dealing with the Inuzuka.

Kiba grinned, leaning back. “Name someone that's older than 25 and younger than 18, and yes, I haven't screwed with them yet. Key word is 'yet'. I still got at least another twenty good years of life in me, and I hope to die during sex, so I'm sure I can get everybody else by then.” Naruto fumed, balling one of his fists tightly.

“All of our graduation class?” The almost bitter tone's implications were obvious.

“No, not Sakura. And no, not all of our class either. I missed a few.” Kiba's fingers idly rubbed the top of his beer mug, pushing around the condensation.

At the assurance his eternal crush hadn't slipped into those dirty claws, Naruto's shoulders relaxed and his hands gripped loosely around his mug. “Like who? Who else got by you?”

“You say that,” Kiba snapped, his pride starting to waver under the direction of the conversation, “as if I don't have time to get the rest.”

“Sex is not supposed to be a competition.” Shikamaru murmured from his spot on the bench next to Naruto, but the others didn’t pay attention. Shikamaru didn't care about the lack of acknowledgement. He was used to being in the shadows until the two hotheads needed an interference before they killed each other.

“Huh? Really? Who'd ya miss? Probably people you can't get.” Naruto was gloating now. Kiba might have surpassed him but he wasn't an expert.

“Damn it, Naruto, I can get whoever I want, however I want. Name the damn person and I'll screw em.” The brunette and blonde often went against each other like two stubborn bulls for no particular reason other than to feed their ravenous egos. At every weekly trip to Bunji's Bar, the two fought for the top dog spot. Usually Naruto gave in, letting Kiba have his glory and settling for the fact that he was going to be Hokage one of these days. It was those precious daydreams of forcing Kiba to do the brunt work and all the jobs the other jounin refused to do that allowed Naruto to bow out of the preverbal pissing contests, knowing he could inflict onto Kiba ten times worse in a few years.

With the idea of sending Kiba to every mission involving water, the dog boy's biggest vice during work, Naruto snickered. “Tell me who you haven't and I'll tell you if you could ever get them.”

Kiba pondered this for a second, mentally running through each of the past years. It took longer than it would have if he had been sober. “Well, the bastard for one.” There was a slight wrinkle in Naruto's nose and before another 'what Sasuke has done to hurt us' rant began, Kiba rushed on. “And I told you, Sakura. She refused to touch me with a ten foot pole, so unless liquor is involved, I'm guessing she is gonna be one of those that got away. Hmm, and Neji. I haven't seen him recently though, with that self imposed machostic training he's been doing for the past couple of years. And he's not really in our graduation class.” A shutter vibrated through his body at the mental image of one of his 'escapee'. “Rock Lee. Those eyebrows scare me. If he would shave them, trim them, do something so it didn't look like a fuzzy creature died up there, then I wouldn't mind showing him a thing or two. And I think... yeah, that's it.”

“You screwed Shikaboom here?” Naruto's thumb gestured to the third wing of their group, the thoughts of the bastard gone for the moment.

“Hmmmm,” Kiba murmured, “yes.” He chuckled, amused by Naruto's thoughtful __expression. He could imagine Naruto’s thought process, as the blond nodded to his own internal monologue. No doubt he was going through each person that had made a notch in his preverbal bed post. Well, of course, I'm just a stud, so it is no surprise that Kiba came after me. Ino, she must be loud in bed, but not bad looking though. Shikamaru isn't that bad either, a little scrawny and definitely a problem with doing anything that required movement, but very sexy in that brainy way. Chouji... wait, he didn't say he didn't screw Chouji...

“Chouji?!” Kiba just smiled at the squeal. “My god, Kiba, you are whore.” The cringe slowly slipped away again, curiosity overcoming over the blond. “Shino? With all those bugs? How was that?”

“Good.” Naruto's nose wrinkled up again. “He controls bugs, Naruto, so he can tell them to go away. They weren't involved in any sex acts, which was good cuz he was my first guy. I think if my first blow job involved ants crawling up my cock, well, I would have been very apprehensive about getting a second one, no matter who was the one giving it.”

“First girl?”

“Why are you suddenly so curious?” Kiba smirked, his eyes glancing over his friend's frame.

Naruto sighed, gesturing into the air with his hand, like he was waving off the comment. “I think of it as a train wreck. I'm probably not going to enjoy the sight, but it isn't going to stop me from watching.”

“Ino.” Kiba flatly said.

“Ino? Not Hinata?” For the third time that night, Shikamaru added his two cents. Even though he had heard the comment about everybody but Lee, Sakura, Neji, and Sasuke slipping in between the sheets with Kiba, it still was a surprise to hear the girl he thought of as a little sister shared a bed with Kiba once.

“Yeah. We were young too, maybe 15. I tried to get her to bring Sakura along, but the girls wouldn't play together with me.” Kiba actually looked sorrowful until Naruto smacked him hard across the head.

“Leave Sakura-chan alone!” he scowled, folding his arms across his chest, a tantrum brewing underneath his skin.

“Hey, fair game. She's still chasing a ghost. Don't you think you should look for someone else? It's been seven years and she hasn't moved on. She's not going to leave--”

“Shut up.” Shikamaru hissed, tapping his friend's forehead lightly before that name could be said again, eying the sulking man next to him. “Beer and shitty memories make for bad bed mates.”

“Ha, bad bed mates--” Kiba chuckled, still oblivious to the small fire he had stirred in Naruto.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, knowing if he didn‘t direct the conversation to more neutral territory, Naruto would start talking about Sasuke. Even though the Uchiha prodigy had been gone for seven years now, it was still a sore thorn in Naruto‘s side. While Shikamaru understood why, how, and all those other questions, he was never certain the proper way to comfort the emotional guy. Shrugging it off was too harsh and telling him to get over it was worse, so he always tried to take the safest route and avoid it completely. Kiba, whether intoxicated or not, was too blunt to tip toe around the subject, believing that everybody‘s self imposed boundaries didn‘t exist in his world. Shikamaru had long accepted his peacemaker part in the group. “Kiba, let's get off your sex life--”

Kiba growled pleasingly at the words, leaning closer to Shikamaru's face. “Yes, let's get off. It's been awhile, hasn't it Shikamaru? Why don't you come home with me? Heck, Naruto, why don't you join us? I--”

“Don't mention him again.” Naruto said quietly, his eyes staring at the beer in front of him. They were glistened with tears though he refused to let any fall. Long ago, he promised himself to never shed anything for Sasuke, whether it be blood or tears. Only sweat could fall from his body in the name of Sasuke, sweat from finally bringing back his fallen comrade.

“I won't.” Kiba replied back just as softly. “Hey, don't get that look on your face. Take your anger out on me. People seem to enjoy making a fool of me, you've enjoyed it a few times yourself. Come on, there's gotta be something. I like doing the impossible.”

Naruto shook his head, most likely in response to the demons in his mind and not Kiba. “I promised her to bring him back--“

“Naruto.” His two bar mates said carefully, glancing at each other nervously.

“--but I didn't. I couldn't. And that bastard--”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Kiba interjected quickly, racing to piece together something to appease his friend. The only thing that came to mind was their conversation about his sex life, and he hoped it would be enough to shift the man back into some state of happiness. “Don't make me 'do things' to get your mind--”

“That's not what he needs right now, Kiba.” Shikamaru said warningly.

“But it is what I need right now.” Kiba snapped back.

“Kiba, shove it.” Shikamaru hissed.

“Shikamaru, shut it--” Kiba growled

“Sakura, Neji, and Lee, eh?” Naruto interrupted, his voice less sorrowful and more of its normal hyperness. Beer had a wondrous ability to bring up the impossible and bury the painful. Of all the times they danced around the topic of Sasuke, it always went smoother when liquor was involved, dragging the memories through the conscious like a raft in the rapids, allowing only a moment to pass on the idea.

Kiba blinked for a few minutes, his mind still churning with come backs to fling at Shikamaru. When he realized what was going on and his brain shifted gears to meet up with Naruto’s better mood, he sputtered out, “Yeah.“

“So, wait, why not Sakura?”

“Besides the fact you're my best friend? Once she heard bout Ino, she refused. Chartered territory, I guess.” Nonchalantly shrugging, his eyes glanced over his friends. He acted like this often, as if his conquests meant nothing, just a body for the night, but deep inside Kiba held each one of them close to his heart. He didn't just have sex for self gratification, but to bond with people he deemed worthy. It was hard for many people to see that side of him though. It was easier to file Kiba into the 'man slut' stereotype then try to figure out the reasoning behind his actions. He never bothered to correct them, insinuating that his actions were of an insatiable, hormone induced, sex craze that was just a step away from addiction instead of his way of proving and solidifying friendships and trust. Not everyone was fooled by the act, seeing the pieces of his true self he'd let slip out. Some people guessed, like Hinata. The first time she laid her ear to his sweaty chest, very timidly trembling against him, she asked why he did what he did. He wasn't even sure of the question, so he gave her no answer, but that didn't matter. She tried to stumble one out for him, about loyalty, being unable to speak strong feelings, and how he was only able to show them through eager gropes and pants. He agreed by not correcting her, unable to word it better, even without the stutters. The only default in anybody understanding the inner workings of his apparent wild actions was the assumption that it worked the other way too, that any person he didn't sleep with wasn't an important friend. It was far from true, as he would gladly give up his life to help Lee or Sakura or Neji, even though none had spend a night with him. Sometimes, the person just slipped by his fingers.

The waitress sauntered over their table, popping out her hips with each step she took, the tapping of her high heels bringing Kiba out of his internal thoughts. “Hey sugah,” Kiba sweetly said, grinning like a fool in love and giving her a playful tap to her side. She giggling, flipping her lengthy ebony hair over her shoulder, batting long eyelashes in his direction. True, Kiba used sex to solidifying friendships, but sometimes it helped to have sex appeal to get free food. It amazed anybody who saw how much he could extract from people without them even realizing it.

“Can we get some food?” He asked, still smiling like everything in his world ceased to exist with her there.

“Sure, what's your pleasure?”

He winked, playfully tapping her again. “If I were to tell you, it would make you blush.” She giggled shyly, a deep red circling her cheeks. “On the topic of food though, some cheese fries would be nice and--” he glanced at the other two men who shook their heads in response to his unasked question, “--that appears to be fine for me and my friends.“ She nodded eagerly, a little puppy pleased to do something good for its owner.

“I wonder,” Shikamaru said to his beer glass as the still giggling waitress retreated, “why I put up with you two.”

“Cuz we're a great three man team,” Kiba boasted. “Did you hear Tsunade-sama last time we gave her a mission briefing? The best three there is. My nose and speed, Naruto's power and endurance, and your brains and strategies.”

“Did ya hear though? There's a rumor she wants to add a fourth.” The mumble came from Naruto's direction.

“Oh man, who?” Kiba asked.

“Neji. Hey, one of your missing nin. Another possible notch on the belt, eh Kiba?” Naruto laughed even through the hard smack to his head.

The idea finally filtered through the beer to get stuck in enough to reach Kiba's mind, and he chuckled. “Neji, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Naruto, eh? Our first mission together should be interesting. We got the slut,” he pointed to himself, “the brain,” he pointed to Shikamaru, “the idiot,” he pointed to Naruto, “and the asshole. When's he joining our ranks?”

Shikamaru sighed, leaning back into his seat. “His ANBU application is being finalized this week. There are more rumors that we got a mission coming up with him soon. Not sure how valid it is though, since it came from Ino. And well, Ino exaggerates things sometimes.”

“Nice.” Kiba said with a smirk, downing the rest of his drink, plans already piecing themselves together in his mind. Unlike Lee or Sakura, Neji hadn't quite slipped through because his lack of trying. No, if anything, it had been because of the persistent taunts from their childhood years that Neji refused to deal much with Kiba at all. Neji’s ‘holier than thou’ attitude usually got most people to leave him alone unless contact was enforced, like in a mission. Neji appeared to like it that way, using his cold exterior to keep the others out. However, Kiba wasn’t like most people and stepped all over Neji’s barriers. Half of it was curiosity, wondering what the man needed to protect so feverishly that nobody was allowed in. The other half was first hand experience knowing that the person most vocal about wanting to be alone usually secretly wished for at least one friend. It was the ‘push everybody away before I get hurt’ mentality, something Kiba had worked through with Ten Ten. When they first got to know each other, he had noticed she stuck stubbornly to her genin team’s side, even though she had became a chuunin and had no need to interact with them anymore. Everybody else was a plague to her, frightening the young orphan into believing they would all leave her sometime soon so there was no need to get to know them. Loyalty is contagious, nevertheless, and soon with Kiba’s help, she opened up more to her fellow ninjas. Nowadays she was much more social, owing her change to Kiba’s care. He was certain something similar was bugging Neji, something stemming from his father’s death and the Main House’s oppression of any selfish thoughts.

Maybe he had twenty more years in him before retiring to some secluded house with a bunch of dogs as his only company or being killed in some gruesome fight, but before that day he had a few personal missions to accomplish. One was to loosen those strings that held Neji tightly bound and to open the man to be more receiving of his peers. Certainly he had other chances if this one didn’t work out how he planned, but the further Neji got wired in his ways, the harder it would be to cut them.

Kiba smirked to his two companions, raising his glass towards them. “Toast, my friends, to our future. May it bring good times, excellent health, and great friends!” Both raised theirs, echoing the toast. Neither knew of the plan forming in Kiba’s devious mind or that the consequences of an act so simple and basic would lead to drastic changes in all their lives.