And I cry...

Part 2 ‘Tell me what is worthier?’


Naruto opened his eyes to meet the night. He was asleep a few hours ago. This happened all the time, he woke up in the middle of the night. It wasn’t because of his usual nightmares. He had had nightmares about people who threw things at him, about he who was kicked out from Konoha, about a solitude darkness that cover him and no matter where he run he still couldn’t fell light. But all those nightmares never put him under this kind of state. This nightmare, it was very different. Well – not very different actually, they still share the same horror with all his nightmares. Still, none of the people in his nightmares before were trying to kill him. Unlike the nightmares he had tonight and every night before this ever since the ‘final battle’.

Of course it was Sasuke, or maybe the mixture of Sasuke and Orochimaru. In his nightmares, Sasuke were trying to kill him – no! Sasuke was killing him. Sasuke put his winning smile and deceitful eyes, he stabbed Naruto with a kunai, over and over again, he was pleased with the mass of blood on Naruto’s chest, and it was making him happy. It would only stop when Naruto woke up. And he would woke up in the middle of the night, holding his chest, feeling scared.

He heard Jiraiya snored somewhere near him.

‘Sasuke…’ he whispered to his heart. Fragments of memories suddenly rolled over in his mind. When he first met Sasuke, when they were teamed up together, all the time when they fought, those time when team 7 sparred, the Chuunin exam, the day when he thought Haku killed Sasuke, the day they shared their unwillingly first kiss, the day when he last met Sasuke, and then the stared on Sasuke’s eyes. He would face him again, no matter what! Then, he would assure himself whether those winning eyes that he saw were true. And he would probably – just probably - gain his heart back.


* * * * *


A woman figure sat on the window in her office. The nights’ wind blew her blond hair away. She looked at the full moon closely as if it could give her answers.

“Tsunade_sama, we received nothing from the ANBU force.” A man with a half hidden face appeared somewhere behind the woman.

“Hmm… It was just as expected from that damn snake! He wouldn’t be too kind to make it easy on us. You’re free to go!” Tsunade didn’t even left her eyes from the moon as she was talking to Kakashi.

“Hai! All the news will be sent directly to you!”

Kakashi was about to ‘poof’ his way out when he heard Tsunade’s voice, “Wait!”

“Kakashi, what do you think the future will be? What will the time bring for all of us? But I guess more importantly, what will those two brats be? What the hell is the future holds for them?” Tsunade gave the moon a weird smirk as if in hate and disgust.

Kakashi leaned his back on the wall; his eye traced the moon that lit the office. “I don’t know…” He closed his eye to meet the portrait of his two students, the one was smiling widely and the other was just standing proudly and smirking to everybody.

“You know Kakashi, everything is weird! Somehow I believe that the future of this village lay in the hands of those two brats! And their lives are depending on each others’. Weird isn’t it? How fate has brought them to this kind of state… they are so damn young and yet…” Tsunade smirk, “This is the real fate of being a shinobi. Don’t you think so Kakashi kun?” Tsunade gazed at the shinobi leaning on the wall with his hands on his pockets.

“I trust them… I know that Sasuke needs Naruto and vice versa. Everything is just that simple. But, being a shinobi is a whole different thing compared to what is needed and what is not. Or maybe is not about being a shinobi at all. They are just two people seeking for what is worth in this world…”

Tsunade smiled, “You’re right. They’re seeking for the most important thing in this life. For Sasuke, now, it must be revenge. For Naruto, I guess it will be now and forever friends. They will collide one day, for real, and then the future shall be settled. Come what may… everything was so hard for Naruto. I can’t imagine the pain he has to bear to live inside a village filled with the people who hate him. And now, he has to fight to gain his most precious person as if everything was easy for him… poor kid… come what may…”
“You may leave!”

A sound of a ‘poof’’ marked Kakashi way out from Tsunades’ office, leaving the woman alone in the office, crying for the Naruto. ‘Such a boy with such a burden’


* * * * *


“Orochimaru sama, it is too risky too wait. You should have transferred to Sasuke’s body immediately!”

“Hmm, you could be such an annoying persistent Kabuto! I will have him when I know that his body is ready for me! Don’t you regard me as a fool Kabuto! I know what I am doing and I know everything will be perfect!”

“But Orochimaru sama, the Hidden Leaf’s ANBU is already on the move! Besides, that damn kitsune could have taken Sasuke back!”

Orochimaru gave his death glare to his subordinate, “I have told you Kabuto, everything will go as my plan! This time I am the one who will win the battle! It is of no use to persuade me.”

“But Oro – “

“SHUT UP!!” the smile that was always curved in Orochimaru’s lips disappeared and replaced by an obvious anger. “Unless your so called smart brain is now stupid, haven’t you realized that Sasuke kun hasn’t surrender to his heart yet… and that will make him less tolerable and of course not perfect for me!”

“He come here on his own will, don’t you think that is a sign that he had left everything behind?”

“That was so stupid of you Kabuto! He didn’t kill that loud mouth did he? He had the chance but he let it go! I believe it is a very clear sign that he haven’t let go of his heart. Kabuto, I thought you were smart…”

The man bit his tongue in anger and tried to calm himself down from the urge to kill his master. “Of course Orochimaru sama. I understand.”

“And that doom day will come when he kill his most precious person. That day, he will truly belong to me! He will be darker and darker. He will submit his body only to me. And his heart and his will will die. At that time, there will be nobody who could reach for him and he would not be able to climb from his own abyss. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt me to wait. Sasuke will get stronger for my own advantages. Isn’t the world beautiful Kabuto…” the sound of laughter filled the room as Kabuto resigned himself from Orochimaru’s vision.

* * *


“I think that is for today Naruto!! Come on, come out!!” Jiraiya yelled at the trees. They were sparring for 9 hours non-stop. The sun would set in any minute. Jiraiya thought that it would be better if they camped out and hunted for their dinner.
Teaching Naruto is somewhat a heavy burden for his old age. ‘mattaku! Where the hell is that boy!’

“Naruto! Come out! I am not going to trap you up or something like that!” he screamed.

“Heeh… ano yaro! Playing hide and seek at this kind of time… maybe I shouldn’t have offered to be his teacher.” He moved his old feet to search the forest for Naruto. He was not worry because he didn’t sense any danger that could jeopardize Naruto’s life. So, he simply thought that he would find Naruto hidden in the bushes sleeping his ass in a somewhat comfort ground.

Jiraiya kept going forward sniffing his nose like a dog as if to find Naruto’s scent in the air. When he turned his head to the left, he found a very fairly portrait. There, few meters ahead of him, he saw Naruto’s figure. Naruto was standing on a branch, he leant his back on the trunk and his hands were on his chest. His body was surrounded by the glowing orange from the sunset. His eyes – not like the way they used to be – were seemed to be very tired and very old. He stared straight to the sunset, not even blinking his eyes. The scenery mesmerized Jiraiya’s eyes. He had never seen Naruto in such a condition. He always saw the spitfire of Naruto, the light and spirit in his eyes, the furious will in his heart. But now, Naruto was not different with an old man who had given up on life. This is not the way Jiraiya wanted to see Naruto… he started to feel sorry for Naruto. But, this was the way that he chose to be. He decided this himself. So, Naruto would bear this – at least he would learn to bear this.

“Oy brat! You don’t happen to meet Dracula between our fight, do you?” the boy – for the first time – moved his eyes from the sunset to meet the eyes of the familiar annoying voice owner. “Don’t tell me that the Dracula sucked down your entire spirit that you decided to just run away from our sparring! That kind of lame excuse will not work on this GREAT JIRAIYA!!!”

“Baka ero – sukebe!!!” the boy muttered not so very silence.

Jiraiya smiled to this statement knowing that he was still the same Naruto, “Naruto! We still have three more years to go you know! You should be worrying then, not now!” Jiraiya spoke with a very concerned tone.

He saw Naruto’s eyes were widening in shock as if Jiraiya had read through his mind.

“Wakatteru yo sensei…” Naruto smiled.

A very sad smile that Jiraiya had never seen before and he doubt that there were other people who had seen it. Jiraiya was the one who frowned this time. ‘Naruto…’ Jiraiya knew it; he knew that the smile was very sincere. But, that smile… It was as if Naruto had known the very ending for this entire scheme. It was as if he… He would die… ‘No!!! It is impossible!!’ Jiraiya thought. This boy who stood before him would never give up. Never!

“Don’t you dare given up on me and every body who trust you, boy! Don’t you dare given up on Sasuke!” Jiraya screamed. He was angry. This is the very first time he felt tremendously upset.

“I’m not sensei… I’m not…” Naruto answered. This time not with the sad smile but his eyes was never lie. They had shown the very same parody that his sad smile had given. Then, he just bluntly moved his eyes to the sunset again.

“Isn’t it beautiful sensei? The sunset…”

Jiraiya frowned again… ‘No Naruto! Everything will be alright…I will protect you! Everything will be fine…’ Jiraiya’s thought was trying to smooth the boy’s heart silencely. But, he missed something. Naruto didn’t need any protection, from anybody. He didn’t feared Akatsuki or Orochimaru. The only thing that he needed was Sasuke. He needed Sasuke to come back. He didn’t know when he started to be very dependant on Sasuke’s present. The fact that Sasuke was the only one who admitted his being was very important for Naruto. He didn’t mind the entire scoff at Naruto from Sasuke. In fact, it made him challenged. It was always fun for Naruto. All seemed different now… He appeared to live, but his heart died. No, maybe it was not dying – yet. He left his heart on the battle field with Sasuke. One day, he would gain it back or buried it alive with his entire body…

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