Who The Hell Calls at 3am

A/N-Hi folks. Im Ramek. You might remember me from such angsty fics as Broken Will and Til Death Do Us Part. Today I am here to bring you another fic. Now this tome, Im stopping all other fics and priorotiseng this one. I wish to complete it before boxing day. Cos it's a christmas fic...everyone is writing one these days...I cant miss out...if i do, ill have to wait another year! Slight OOCness. And this fic is AU. Ninja's dont exist. Sasuke lives in a three bed house that he inherited from his twice removed cousing when she died of unknown causes. One more thing, this story is a prequel to The Housemates.



Disclaimer Masashi Kishimoto has better things to do than write fics like this. Im not Masashi holiness. I do not own Naruto and im not maing money off this fic... as if i could anyway



xxxxxxx



3 WEEKS LATER



Neji walked through the corridor, munching on a bag of chips. Normally, he wouldn't be seen dead eating these but he was really hungry and...and...okay, so he was just being a pig. He turned in the direction of the bathroom. Before he could reach for the handle, the door opened and Sasuke walked out, a towel around his waist. "Hey Neji." He walked towards his room. He didn't notice the towel snagging on the radiator. Nor did notice as the towel slowly began to slip off.



Neji watched with a calm indifference...he should probably warn Sasuke before...oops. Too late. Sasuke stopped. He slowly turned around. And saw his towel hanging on the radiator. Three metres away. That meant he wasn't wearing it anymore. Bad. Very bad. He covered his shame and sprinted towards his room. Neji dropped the chips in shock. Damn...Sasuke was HUGE. Not that this turned him on or anything..hehe.



Neji slipped his jacket on, standing by the doorway. "Hey Chicken Hair! Im going out!" Sasuke turned his attention from the television."Huh? Where?"



"Pick up some stuff from my uncle's house." Sasuke merely nodded and returned to watching TV.



Neji arrived at Hyuuga residence fifteen minutes later. He knocked on the door. Hanabi answered it. "Nej-Nej! Are you coming back?" Neji shook his head. "Sorry Hanabi. I just came to get my-"



"Hanabi! Who is it?"



"Daddy, it's Neji! He came to get his...um...I don't know what he came to get."



In an instant Hiashi was at the door. "You." He fixed Neji with an ugly stare. "Yea. Me. I came to get my Bass."



Hiashi sniggered."That old thing? I threw it away days ago." he said laughing.



"You did not. You payed for it with your own money and you never throw anything away when it's worth the amount of money you payed." said Neji nodding. He knew this man too well.



Hiashi sniggered again. "Well. after your filthy hands touched it, I'd have payed to get rid of it."



Neji just shook his head. "Look, am I getting it or not?"



"Hanabi, move...oh, hi Neji." Hinata appeared in the doorway, holding Neji's bass guitar in it's case. She handed it to him.



"Well thank you Hinata. At least somebody cares about me round here."



"Neji-kun! I care about you!" Hinata tigged at Neji's shirt.



"Shut up you." Hiashi said to Hanabi. The little girl ran inside. Hiashi followed without a goodbye to Neji.



"How are you doing then?" said Hinata.



"Im alright,I moved in with Uchiha Sasuke...so..."



Hinata nodded.



"Well...call me if you need anything..."



"Sure..thanks again.."



"See ya." Hinata closed the door behind her.



Ten minutes later, Neji was on his way back well duh. He stopped at an alleyway. This was a shortcut to Uchiha's house. But he could get attacked. Oh well. What were the chances?



He was walking through a corner in the alleyway when he heard voices.ta da!.



"Look! There he is!"



"Do we get him yet?"



"No fools...wait.."



Neji ignored the voices. They were coming from behind the dumpster. Probably some tramps. He carried on walking. Suddenly, he was grabbed from behind and shoved roughly to the ground. Three figures hovered over him. The tallest one had long silver hair in a pony tail and a pair of glasses. Neji recognised the two standing beside him as Gaara and Kankouro.



The tall figure laughed. "Hello Neji." He leaned in so Neji could see his face. It was Kabuto. Neji made to get up. Instantly, he was held down on both sides by Gaara and Kanakouro.



"I see you've been kicked out. Awwww...isn't that sad." said Kabuto.



"Ohhhh a bass. I could sell this for a pretty penny.Gaara!" Kabuto snatched the case from Neji's hands and handed it to Gaara.



"What do you want with me?" said Neji.



Kabuto laughed again. He lay down on top of Neji. Neji could feel a lump in Kabuto's pants.



He laughed nervously."Hehe...I hope that's a torch in your pocket."



Kabuto whispered in Neji's ear."You wish."



Neji shivered. He knew exactly what Kabuto was going to do with. He felt himself being turned over by Gaara and Kankouro. He was lying on his back. Kabuto began to remove Neji's jeans. Neji tried to free himself from Gaara and Kankouro's grasp but it was useless. Kabuto pulled down Neji's boxers.



"Oooohhh...nice ass."



Kabuto pulled down his pants and boxers. Kankouro handed him a bottle of lube. He began to lubricate his penis...dick...cock..jony..you think of a word for it, I can't. Kabuto's hands reached for Neji's ass.



A sinking feeling of dread filled Neji as he realised what was about to happen . Was Gaara gonna do it too? But before Kabuto could go any further, there was a voice. Neji almost cried with happiness. 'Thank you...whoever the hell you are'.



"Hey! What are you doing to him?"



Neji looked up. And saw Sasuke. Only he was taller...and his hair was longer..wierd. Sasuke was holding a gun, pointing it at Kankouro's face. He immediatly ran. Gaara and Kabuto followed suit. Neji stood up and put his jeans on, with a mixture of relief and embarassment. He picked up his bass. "Sasuke...thank you..."



He looked puzzled. "What? Im not Sasuke. Im Itachi."



"Sasuke's brother? Wait...aren't you supposed tobe in Canada or something?"



Itachi nodded. "Well...yea. But I came back to Japan. i realised it was kinda selfish of me to leave Sasuke on his own after out parents died.."



Neji nodded. Kinda selfish? "You have a gun?" He looked at the metal object in Itachi's hands.



Itachi laughed." I wish...this is a toy." he threw it in the dumpster.



Neji laughed too.



"So you thought you could fool me with a bit of plastic huh?"



Kabuto, Gaara and Kankouro were standing behind them. Itachi stopped. He considered being a total bitch and ignoring them...or he could beat the crap outaa them. Which he did. Neji watched in awe as Kabuto, Gaara and Kankouro were practiacally torn apart by the Uchiha. By the time he was finished, all that was left was smouldering mess of flesh and testosterone.not literaly of course. Kabuto tried to get up and chase after them but collapsed as soon as he was standing straight.



"Wow...where'd you learn to do that?"



"Internet." said Itachi as they started walking again.



"No. Really. Where?"



"Internet I tell you, internet."



Ten minutes later, Sasuke opened the door to be met by Neji (he took his time) and...Itachi? Itachi leant in and hugged his little brother.



"Foolish brother! How've you been?"



Sasuke was frozen to the spot."Itachi?"



"One and only! I've returned!"



Sasuke jumped forward and hugged Itachi back. When he was back by the door, his cheeks were pink from embarassment. He couldn't quite believe he'd done that.



"So are we coming in or what?" said Itachi."Since I'm the older one, It's practically my house anyway. Move aside foolish brother. I wish to enter."



Sasuke was still standing there when Neji and Itachi walked past him.



'Why does he always call me that?'



"So anyway, I was on my way here from the airport, when I found Neji here about to be raped." They were sitting in the lounge.



"I'm just lucky you showed up" said Neji. He was sitting on the sofa beside Itachi, tuning his bass guitar. He plugged it into the amp and started playing a random Green Day tune.



Sasuke wa sappaled. "You like Green Day?"



Neji nearly sapt on him."God no. Hanabi made me learn it so I could play it for her while her mp3 player was charging. I nearly broke my wrist one day. She made me play it over...and over...and over..." Neji was stiing there, rubbing his wrist, with a look of terror in his eyes.



Sasuke laughed."Neji, she's ten year old girl...you're like 17 or something. Don't tell me she threatened you."



Neji looked at Sasuke. "You don't know the things that girl can do. Even Uncle Hiashi's scared of her."



"Damn...she must be good." said Itachi over his porn mag.



"Do you have to read that in here?" said Sasuke.



"If you question my choice of reading once more, little brother, I shall slit your throat."



Sasuke ignored him. "Hey Neji, you never told me why your uncle threw you out."



Neji scratched his forehead."No...I guess I didn't...well goodnight!" He got up and huried out of the room.



Itachi laughed, sneaking a glance at Neji's ass."You've been trying to get him to tell you for weeks haven't you?"



Sasuke groaned. "Yea, but he wont say a word...I'll get him to tell me somehow.."



Itachi had a bright idea. "I know! Why don't you bribe him with sex!"



Sasuke got up, walked up to Itachi, and kicked him in the balls. "Goodnight, foolish brother." said Sasuke, smiling, as he went up to bed.



Itachi was lying on the floor, groaning in pain..."Damn you foolish brother...using my lines...I might not have kids.."



xxxxxxx



tbs.

That's chapter 2. yay! Im enjoying this!! *dances*



PS-I've worked like abitch trying to get this chapter up, so you'd better review!