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Conditional

By: Inuzuka
folder Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating: Adult ++
Chapters: 6
Views: 1,305
Reviews: 58
Recommended: 0
Currently Reading: 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
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Terrain

Conditional

By Inuzuka

Premise: Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto have been apart for four years. They haven't seen each other in four years. Sasuke's betrayed his country, alienating all who treasured him, and Naruto has won it over, befriending all who alienated him. Sasuke, who feels no self-worth, and feels he has no one is allowing his amnesty to give him one last chance to give his life meaning, all his goals fulfilled. Naruto is in turmoil...why is he worried for the one who left him? Why is he glad the one who wished to kill him is back?

Archived: Only on aff.net as of 1.22.06.

Rating: NC-17 for later graphic sexual content, plus mentions of suicide, violence, and overall things requiring maturity.

Pairings: This focuses on the relationship between one Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. But since they were very much made by their surroundings, I can't avoid other people, and how they view them. There are blatant references to other relationships, but they don't play that large a port in the story.

Feedback: Reviews, please!

Characters: The majority of the Naruto cast.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the rights to anything to do with Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto, and claim no ownership over any of it's trademarks.

Author's notes: I was WAFF'd by the responses to the first chapter, so I'm going to continue this. This is the hardest chapter, I have to say...the two of them have to meet. 'Nuff said.

—~~~~— : scene change.

"Speech in italics when not emphasized.": the kyuubi speaking to Naruto (judge by context)



Chapter 2: Terrain

If he thought he had been tired before, Uchiha Sasuke was wrong. He could, without a doubt, say that if he passed out right now, it would be a relief. Ibiki wasn't a bad person, but he was a good interrogator, and that really said enough about him.

Sleeping was a good idea right now. But when he rounded the final corner to his home, thankful that it seemed none who could recognize him were looking to the rooftops, Uchiha Sasuke felt wronged, simply wronged. Depression, frustration, and exhaustion he could deal with. But...this was supposed to be his home! Were was the Uchiha manor? Had they seriously replaced the centuries-old homestead of the great noble family with a with a...he couldn't even bring himself to think it. His home, cleared out, for a fucking pachinko parlor? The clown with blinking eyes, the only one who seemed to pay him any mind, told him yes. Yes indeed. My first real welcome to Konoha, the pachinko clown. Beautiful. He didn't expect a warm welcome, but he didn't even think about things like shelter, or food. Things his dobe was probably constantly on the verge of losing...Tsunade had told him he wouldn't be back for a few days, that he was out on a mission. That clown is mocking me.

He collapsed onto the side of the road, sitting with his head down, his thoroughly searched bag devoid of naught but a few articles of clothing beside him. He realized the irony in that bag just then...he had avoided the Uchiha crest like the plague, but everything he had was because of it. Where would one go to reclaim the inheritance of a 12 year dead clan? That, he didn't know, and he wondered if it was worth it to even bring back his old life like that. He had only come back for one reason, he reminded himself. As long as I know he's all right, I can go on. That's all I want. He told himself. I can't ask him for more than that. As he lay down, his feeble pack under his head, on the choked, dying grass beside the beaten dirt road, the beeping of arcade games in his ears, Sasuke closed his eyes. He couldn't go to anyone for help, he realized.

Sakura must hate me. He'd never given the girl any thought, and even now he didn't feel anything for her. Even if she did offer him shelter, there's no way he'd accept it. Not after what he'd done to her. Her, and Naruto...Kakashi too, he supposed. Naruto should hate me especially...Noone in the village had ever given him reason to hate outside of his own loathing for being spoiled, and glorified—he had wanted to earn everything at one time. Anything financial he had never worried about...he had too much of anything material, and too many bothersome social commitments. All he wanted to do was match his brother, and maybe prove his existence was worthwhile to him...no. Uchiha Sasuke had wanted to earn his existence.

I was so pathetic.

It hit him then, the real reason he began to think he owed revenge. It was the damn house. His family gave him everything that had ever occured to him. Money, power, and attention. Never did he worry about anything financial. Weapons, clothing, equipment, materials...he didn't need to work for any of it. He could spend any time he had free training, and always had a full stomach. Power? He relied on his sharingan so much it revolted him. His taijutsu was an art; a thing of beauty. It made people reach to him, but only when he couldn't be reached. Konohagakure had, for the first time in 78 years, allowed a missing-nin to return merely for his eyes.

Attention. He was a pretty-boy, and he knew it. Orochimaru had said it himself, before he'd...Sasuke's eyes opened slowly. That he'd brought upon himself. He had pledged his body to Orochimaru for the power to kill his brother. Just because Orochimaru claimed it while it was still his...but after three and a half years, it stopped mattering. He knew he got stronger. Orochimaru held onto his end of the bargain at that. He exhausted his body every day, making the boy hone his reactions, his muscles strengthening every day, experience and reaction key. He became adept at many jutsus (like fushi tensei Sasuke reminded himself, bitterly) and worked every ounce of his chakra out, going to bed near death. He had rested a week the first time. Then, when he was just able to stand without collapsing, it happened again. He'd gotten back in 3 days then. It went on, and on...

I didn't hold onto mine. He didn't even bid the nukenin farewell. He'd been afraid for his life...his being. He was saved again, but he didn't spite Kabuto. Itachi was never clear with his intentions, and the fact he held his life in so little regard that he put it as the goal for his little brother, who always wanted to be strong said something about him, that Sasuke didn't want to admit to himself. To be strong, Kabuto had managed to clear his own name by helping him. Though Kabuto wasn't as strong as his brother, he wanted to think they equaled out. He knew they didn't. But he wanted to believe it. Just as he wanted to believe that being surrounded by the Uchiha past was a good thing, because it would keep him on his goal. His goal.

He was slipping into self-pity again, and it revolted him. He growled softly, and only cracked one eye open when a nearby mother pulled her child away from the dark-haired man in tattered travel clothes sleeping outside the arcade growling at himself. Well, now this is the attention the Uchiha crown has finally given me. This is the money, and the power it's gotten me. This was how he spent so many long nights already, finding faults in himself, cursing himself, cursing his family, and cursing Itachi. He reminded himself it didn't matter.

Kabuto had given him his second chance, Tsunade had given him his second chance, and Konohagakure had given him his second chance. Naruto had made him take it. The blond never made things easy.

So, dobe decides to have friends and a life once I need him, then. An odd smile was on his face. Does he even know I'm back? I wonder how he'll react to me...if it's him, he might beat the shit out of me...but...maybe not. It'd been 4 years. They had been stupid kids then, but...they knew each other. They had found each other when noone else understood them. They'd connected physically, too...but they were too frustrated in general, and took that out on each other. They both wanted power, and their equals, the one Sasuke chose to acknowledge, and the one acknowledged by Sasuke (I alwasy thought I was above him...just because of some stupid, fucking crest)...both to overcome their demons.

Sasuke wanted to take his demon down out of spite. Naruto wanted to rise up with his. to spite everyone other than the demon. He wondered if Naruto had come to his own twisted peace with the way things were. He hoped he had. I'll see him in a few days...I'll be ready by then. I'll know what to say by then...Naruto will know what to say, I'm sure he's had some sort of relationship. He debated if that was a good or a bad thing as he drifted to sleep.

—~~~~—

Uzumaki Naruto took his time getting ready. He no longer wore a jacket (Sakura had threatened...something he needed if she had to endure being seen in public while he wore one of the horrid things) and instead opted for a black t-shirt, and his baggy, orange pants. He went out for ramen with the Sand siblings minus Kankuro, treating them for a change. It was certainly odd for the man working the bar there to see the demon forced to eat ramen by hyperactive foreigners. He smiled a little bit at it...the blonde's smile was infectious like that.

It was a relief really. He didn't worry about meeting with Sasuke, or about anything. It was serene...but it was awkward. Gaara's best friend was in love with the man about to come back from being the disciple of one of the biggest threats to the Fire and Wind nations. The one who had hated someone so much that he'd lived his entire life to kill one person. That was the type of person Naruto loved, and he couldn't stand it. I can't tell him no. So Gaara smiled gently and stood up. He reminded Naruto that if he needed anything—but the blond dismissed it.

I should stop him. Gaara kept the small smile on his face as the kyuubi vessel disappeared in a whirl of leaves. I can't stop him. And for the first time in his life, Gaara truly realized what it meant to be helpless.

—~~~~—

Naruto didn't miss the distance in Gaara's eyes. He told himself once again that it was merely because noone else understood Sasuke. Noone else understood what he went through. When he was younger, if there was the possibility that if he had hardened his heart and killed Sasuke, gone to the evilest, cruelest, sickest man he'd ever known, and given his body to him...that if he did all that, that the kyuubi would die, that the kyuubi would never harm anyone again...

I wouldn't have done it. Naruto stopped, momentarily. Of course I would've. I would have. "Kit..." Taking offense to the boy speaking of him like that would be ridiculous, he knew. Because, even if he wandered freely now, it doesn't mean there wasn't a damn good reason he was locked in a cage then.

The trunk of the tree shattered under his fist, and Naruto took a few calming breaths before going on. I would have. I...I believe a demon is more than love. He told himself once again. A consuming hatred is more than a consuming infatuation. It's in our nature, right...? There was silence in his mind.

I need to see him...

"Yo, Ten-Ten, Neji!" The two were just about to change shifts when the hyperactive blonde came by. Ten-Ten looked over at Neji. At least he seemed confident that the blonde'd be all right. Ten-Ten had seen the look on Naruto's face before. It had been on Lee's face when he thought he'd never fight again, when he thought that he had no reason to go on...does the Uchiha really mean that much to him? She forced a small smile. "Hey, Naruto-kun."

Neji merely looked away, continuing his watch. It didn't get past him. He has to handle this on his own. He turned back and offered a nod, then with a small signal behind his back, the gates cracked open, and the blond passed through.

Why didn't they just say it outright? Naruto thought. "Uchiha's here." The two words would've made his day. He chuckled quietly as he plodded along towards the hokage's tower. He was a mess. He felt like he was going to puke. What the hell do you say to someone in a situation like this? He had never had to know. Who could he ask? Would...Sasuke know how to go about this...? He'd be able to figure this out...

Noone was trying to dissuade him from it. Noone would talk to him about it, but he knew they knew. His reaction to the boy's disappearance...his fervence in searching for him made it clear he cared. But why the hell did everyone think he was hung up on the Sasuke? ("You are hung up on the Sasuke." UZUMA- Naruto started his mental screech, and the fox flashed the last image of Sasuke in front of him. Bastard fox.../ He was right, though. He had to see him. His stomach twinged, recalling the day when the Uchiha manor had been torn down. He didn't even consider boycotting the stores that sprung up there. When it happened, he thought the Uchiha was dead.

He had moved on. He thought he had...he wasn't even bothering to deny it anymore. He missed the teme, and he was damn-well going to see him. If Neji and Ten-Ten weren't going to tell him what they knew, he'd just get someone else to. In a moment, he was outside the Hokage's building.

—~~~~—

"Yo, baa-chan!"

Tsunade looked up from her desk, slightly startled. "You're early."

"And you know why, so spill it."

Tsunade looked at him. "Spill what?" She didn't want to speed up the process of those two getting back together. The kyuubi hadn't healed the scars on the boy's arms the last time he thought he'd been left behind (left alone) on purpose. She knew he was stronger than that, but...why the hell did he have to grow up? Couldn't he be 12 again, when he would've just asked where the kid was so he could beat the crap out of him? So she could laugh, and pretend she never lost her own little brother? She couldn't bring herself to push him on this step, but she figured he was going to see him no matter what. But then...just why was he here?

Naruto cleared his throat, and she looked up at him. He had his arms crossed, and an eyebrow raised. He's not even going to try puppy eyes? That depressed her somehow. "Tsunade...just tell me where you put him up." The hokage flinched at that, and softly coughed.

The ensuing silence was mutual.

"You did put him up, right? You know his house got torn down, baa-chan. You gave him somewhere to stay, right?" He glared at her.

"...it didn't come to mind, seeing as he has a perfectly good mano—oh. Heh..." Naruto didn't seem too amused by her, though. So, she let the kid's crush go a little...homeless..."So what? It's warm outside."

"You seriously didn't put him up?!?" Tsunade just realized she'd said that last part out loud. Kami, she needed some warm sake...

"So? He's going to end up staying at your place, anyways." She smiled up at him, pleased she shut him up. Her head was pounding. You'd think she'd get used to his screeching by now.

Naruto opened his mouth to reply, but..."You don't want to deny it, right?" The kyuubi grinned. Why does everyone make me out to be some horny kid? "Because you're a horny kid." Damn fox.

Naruto opened the door, facing away from the older woman.

"You're lucky..." Her voice was even, but her face was shadowed, observing him lightly as her face faced her desk. "The one you lost...he's being handed back to you."

"H-handed?"

"He was in the snake's grasp. You tried, you couldn't get him back. Now he's being handed to you...be grateful, okay? He's back, don't be greedy."

"You've lost loved ones once...you had no chance of getting them back." Naruto was getting angry. "They weren't kept from you! They weren't used by someone else! You couldn't get them! You couldn't try!"

"You don't think I've tried?" Naruto froze at the hokage's even voice. "You don't think I've tried to bring them back?"

Naruto opened his eyes, and took a breath. She'd turned down Orochimaru's offer to bring them back. "I'm...I'm sor-"

"Don't be sorry, just be grateful."

The blond looked the older woman in the eyes, and left.

—~~~~—

He was deep in thought as he wandered down the streets. I wonder if she did it on purpose. Just because he was nukenin. He shivered as another breeze hit him. What if he leaves again? "You should listen to her, boy."

But what if he leaves? What if he doesn't come back? Naruto scrubbed his face with his hands, searching the streets. This is stupid. I can't see anything, anyways. His legs were tired as he passed by the new pachinko parlor. It looked macabre in what little moonlight there was. Did he know? Of course he knew. He's Sasuke, he would've predicted this... "Where the hell are you, teme?" He whined, looking up at the sky.

He couldn't believe he wasn't going to find the bastard tonight. Sitting down for a moment at the side of the road, he looked at the pachinko parlor. Maybe it's better he doesn't have to go back there...to that damn house.

The ground shifted. Hm...when did the ground get so comfortable...? When he was suddenly thrown off, his seat surging up with a surprised yelp.

—~~~~—

Sasuke sat up, and looked around. His breathe froze. He thought his heart stopped beating. This is...a dream. Looking at him, Naruto's heart beat a little too fast, his blue eyes wide, reflecting the stars, and his mouth a bit agape.

Sasuke. The circumstances didn't bother him. He was there, he was in his grasp.

"Ah!" The moon shone dimly down on the town, the two a mere detail of Konoha, as Naruto tackled the boy, burying his face in his chest, and wrapping his arms around him. His muffled voice reached Sasuke's ears. "You're here. You're..." He breathed, choking back tears. "Teme~e!" He held on tighter, and his voice dropped. Sasuke, why didn't you come back sooner? He looked up. His heart hurt looking at the boy, he wanted to kiss him.

Sasuke sat, trying to register what just took place. He's...here. The dark-haired boy blushed, realizing who was currently crushing his ribs. Four years, and he greets me with a tackle, huh? It could be worse. At least he's glad to see me... He didn't know what to do, so he put one arm around the still boy, and another one in his hair. It's soft... "Naruto..." He said, quietly.

Naruto didn't want to let go right now. snuggling further when he felt the boy's arms around him. It was a minute or two before he sighed, breaking his grip on the Uchiha, and sat on the ground facing him. "Why'd you stop? He didn't seem to mind..." "Hey, Sasuke." His voice was quiet, but happy, his eyes slightly foxish from the years.

"...hey." Sasuke was still having trouble breathing, his eyes a little too wide, and he layed back down on his pack. Tilting his head up, he ran a hand through his hair. The blond never made things simple, either. Said blond-haired nin grinned, standing up. "You're not sleeping on the ground, dumbass." Naruto's eyes were soft, shining, his eyebrows knitted, a smile on his face.

"Um, I-" the dark-haired boy sputtered, but Naruto just reached out.

Sasuke took his hand, and let the blond pull him up, grabbing his pack on the way. He took a breath. and shivered despite the fire country's brutal August heat.

"C'mon."

—~~~~—

Naruto opened the door to his apartment, kicking his sandals off. It was better than his old one (jonin's pay was a hell of a lot better than welfare, but at least with welfare he didn't have to pay rent). Had to pay everything else, though. He was self-conscious, of course, but no matter what Sasuke thought, it was better than the ground. Sasuke came in, and glanced around. A lot neater than I pictured it... "Thanks..."

The blond glanced behind him. "Yeah, no problem, c'mon in." He's back. I should be acting normal (Kyuubi, don't speak), don't scare him away just because I'm nervous. He's all right. Help him out. That's all I want. Naruto frantically told himself. "Sit down...want some tea?"

"Please." Kicking off his sandals, Sasuke walked over to the counter and sat down at the counter. On the other side was a kitchen, small, only taking up one wall, behind him a battered couch and a tv, with an ink work hanging on the wall...Valley of the End... In front of him, behind the sink, and to his left, was a window opening out onto the balcony, the door to which was behind him, to his left, out of view. He sat on a wicker chair, with a sturdy back. The floor was wooden except for a comfortable looking rug on the ground in front of the couch. If he went directly right, he'd be at the door, and if he turned left at the door then, he'd be facing the hall.

Sasuke sat with his fingers laced together, elbows on the table. I'm in his house... He remembered a long time ago when he had imagined come here on his own...shifting on the seat a little, he looked up from studying the counter to Naruto, who was pouring steaming water into two mugs. "That was quick."

Naruto smiled a little. "A trick Jiraiya taught me, putting chakra into the water and stirring it to heat it up." He said as he fixed the tea, handing Sasuke his mug before going back and fixing his own, and then sat back down.

He sipped his tea quietly, "Thanks."

"Er, yeah. Sorry I only had orange pekoe-" "-it's fine, I like orange." Sasuke replied, taking another sip. How long has it been since I've drinken anything warm? He glanced over at Naruto, who was studying his bare fridge, his tea untouched. He's nervous... "Naruto...you're as bad as Sakura." He winced, just realizing how he worded that.

Naruto's turned back to Sasuke, a sheepish grin on his face. Sakura? Arrogant bastard... "What, you want him to take Sakura's place?" Bastard fox, what would you know? "More than you'd think. Remember Shukaku?" Naruto paled a bit, and shuddered.

He's grossed out by that? Sasuke couldn't help but be a bit offended at that. For better or worse, he and his brother both got their mother's looks...and her vanity. He raised an eyebrow.

"Nevermind..." Fox, I don't want to hear about your sex-life, okay? Human form, or otherwise. "Not like there's much that's happened in the past 20 years. Thanks to you. But, that aside...sure you don't want the advice?" Naruto blushed, looking a bit angry.

The hell is wrong with him...? "Naruto...are you all right?"

Naruto shook his head. "Yeah, I'm fine. The fox is just being a-" His eyes widened a bit. "-um. Forget I said that...?"

Sasuke blinked. "No, I've heard about the kyuubi...but..." He paused. "You talk to it?"

"It? Did he just call me an it?" "Yeah, and..." he paused, his eyes narrowing as he pouted. "It's not that bad. Usually. But right now it's decided to tell me about fucking racoons." He paused, grinning at Sasuke's reaction. "Would you like to hear old, horny, fox demons talking about fucking raccoons?"

Shukaku, then. But...if the demons are... "Naruto...how...how is Gaara anyways?"

"He's fine, I just came back from visiting him actually."

"Oh."

"Fucking raccoons, then?" "Oh. Oh! No! It's not like that. We're just friends!"

Sasuke was a bit relieved he didn't mention that Gaara was a guy (and that he wasn't "fucking raccoons"), and he took his last gulp of tea. "Ah. A bit defensive." Still fun to rile him.

"Hmph. Teme. Anyways, you can take my bed, all right? I changed the sheets before I left, so...yeah." He pointed to the hall as he said that. "Only door on the left."

"Um..."

"Are we seriously going to argue over who gets the bed?" Naruto glared. Especially when you were going to sleep on the ground, dumbass.

We could both get the bed. No! Bad thought! ...well, inappropriate, well...GAH! "...thanks."

Naruto stood up, and rounded the counter, putting both the mugs in the sink, and Sasuke got up. Naruto paused as he walked past him, and looked him in the eyes, straight ahead. He was older, but...this is definitely my Sasuke. He smiled, and "you've kissed him." Yes, but that was an accident. "So, do it again." We're just friends... Naruto winced at that. He was good at reading people, he thought. "People except Sasuke." Somehow that got his hopes up, and he smiled, walking to the door, where the switches were.. "You'll pass the bathroom, by the way. Can't miss it."

Sasuke took a deep breath as Naruto clicked the lights off. "I missed you, Naruto..." He closed his eyes, and started to turn around, heading up the hall.

Naruto almost didn't hear him. He turned around to face the retreating Uchiha. "I missed you, too," immediately wishing that Sasuke had the fox's hearing. He walked over to the couch, and, kicking off his baggy pants, he layed down, pulling a blanket off from where it hung over the back of the couch, and then pulling one of the back cushions under his head, kicking other on the floor. The blond closed his eyes, immediately falling asleep, dreams of black cats and ravens in his head.

—~~~~—

The stars shone in the Konoha sky outside of Naruto's window as the city slept, the clock beside his bed reminding him it was 2am. He'd only gotten about 2 hour's sleep in the past week, an hour of that being today. Uchiha Sasuke was tired, inside and out. He sighed, and pulled off his over-shirt, and shorts, flopping on top of the mattress. Navy blue boxers and a black shirt on top of the pale orange comforter. He rolled onto his side, looking out the window.

Lazy bastard. He snuggled a bit deeper into the pillow. Didn't change the cases. He buried his nose in the fabric, smelling what he could only describe as sunshine on leaves. His mind began to work at analyzing their situation, to work at pulling this apart, and figuring out what to do. He shook his head, and smiled. He pulled back the comforter, and pulled the first sheet over his lower half. Maybe Konoha won't be so bad...

For the first night in 3 years, Sasuke didn't have nightmares. He didn't dream of losing his life to his brother. He didn't dream of losing his life and his body to Orochimaru, nor did he dream of losing his life, body, and soul to a darkness he only imagined, but could never describe.

He only dreamed of giving, giving everything to a certain blond. He might've slept a bit less easy if he knew how apparant that would become in a matter of hours to anyone who cared to look.



TBC!

Yo. This chapter was a bit short, I know. I'm getting myself to write. They've met! I can't help but feel the situations as I see them in my head won't be obvious to those who read them, and as the detail I've already put in gets cumbersome, adding more would kill it. Almost tempted to write this a screenplay, but a fiction novella it shall remain. By the way, don't take the last paragraph too seriously. So far, this could be put up on ff.net, and it's so very not it's rating, so I have to feed some hints, anyways, right?

Anyways. Two days, two chapters! I doubt I'll have the next chapter out by tomorrow, especially since I've finally recovered from being sick, but don't worry, I'm not abandoning this. I'll force myself to continue it...and I've so many ideas! :) Ah. Once again, please review! You won't understand how much a review means until you're an author, trust me.

Ah, also, if anyone feels like setting up WAMP (it's the lazy-man's PHP server), I'll e-mail them a small script I use to edit my stories, that lets me just use slashes for italics, and line-breaks for paragraphs, while working in notepad. Saves a lot of time.

noise, ryu, thank you!

SplitPersona - Yeah, I hate how Naruto's always...well, he's always such a bitch. He's a strong person...rather honest with everyone, brash, and hyperactive, but he's not a wimp. Their relationship won't be their whole life, but for two people who've never had anyone, it will mean a lot. But they're still "emotionally stunted little twerps," and technically, still virgins. (Neither has ever been in an actual relationship...but Sasuke + Orochi...yeah. Sorry for that image, but it's necessary.) Kyuubi isn't, and that'll...come into play, because horny demons amuse me. Kabuto is awesome, and he's one of my favourite characters...notice how, recently, in the manga, he seems to have turned against Orochimaru? That kind of inspired my view of him.

HydeCrazy - Neither will be uke or seme. They'll be on equal ground, that way...so, yeah, both.

Liankitty - Don't worry...that's much more Sasuke's style, and as struck as he is, this is his crutch. He's still a strong person. he's just trying to get back from what he's done, to find meaning in anything. Remember, all his foundations are gone...but seeing as "to be strong" was their only foundation, really, they're not on seperate grounds. (I'm still deciding on having them spar...)

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